Fly Funky Diva

My New Blog: "Noni Jones in Harlem"

2009-07-13T04:13:00.000-07:00

Hey divas-

It has been awesome serving you style and culture here at Fly Funky Diva. This is not the end of FFD, but I will be updating it significantly less. I have a brand new literary endeavor in the blogosphere

Ladies and gentleman the Fly Funky Diva presents--

Noni Jones In Harlem!

This is a fictional blog, an on-going saga, that takes place amongst 3 funky divas living in Harlem; Noni, Caroline and Geneva.

Take a look at excerpts. Visit the site and if you love it, pass the good word onto a friend.:

Noni

Fast forward to the good part. Carter comes home Wednesday night. We haven’t had sex in a good week and I’m feeling horny as hell. I welcome Carter to Merlot and Sushi (take out) and then we have one of our royal sexcapades…. A twelve pack of condoms on the night stand, right next to the KY and massage oil. Incense burning, candles and his locks in my face… all night… all morning… all afternoon, into the next night. Close to 24 hours we stayed cocooned in the bedroom, only breaking to eat, get water and use the bathroom. It was the perfect way to reconnect.

The next day, I contract a UTI. I tell Carter about it and we both assume that we just went way too hard. The following evening while Carter is playing with a new composition, I took a hot bath before retiring to bed. I soaked for a good twenty minutes, dried off. Then I pulled back the comforter and sat on the bed applying lotion. As I carry the lotion back to the bathroom, I get this weird sensation between my legs. I stop walking and look down at something hanging out. Lord have mercy…. I pull. IT IS A SOGGY CONDOM THAT HAS BEEN LODGED IN MY DAMN CERVIX SINCE I DON’T KNOW WHEN.

I call Carter into the bathroom demanding an explanation. “Baby, I have no idea….” He’s smiling at the sight of the stretched out condom but ain’t shit funny. I could be pregnant. I mean, I’m not on any form of birth control except…. latex-latex-latex!!! Clearly he and I were so doped up on love and alcohol that we could have overlooked an umm… missing condom. (???) I send him to CVS for Plan B. I’ve never taken it before and it gave me a killer headache, but I realized as panic overtook my entire body… I am not ready to be anybody’s mother right now. Not even if my sable Clarke Kent is my baby’s daddy. Clearly, I have some growing up to do.

Caroline

11:13. I’m now watching a Sex and the City rerun. It’s the episode where Carrie loses her Manolo Blahnik at a get together and her friend decides to be trife. I mean, I feel her pain but really… at 11:13 I’m feeling the throbbing between my legs. I’m sitting on my couch in a burgundy negligee, no panties. Flexing my toes, realizing I need to stop in for a pedicure tomorrow after work. Still no call.

What the fuck?

So I text him. “Hey. Are you on your way?”

I lean back in my couch, stomach churning with butterflies. I’m staring at my phone, waiting for the buzz from his return text. Ten minutes later, the phone vibrates against the glass coffee table.

“Hey. Something came up.”

Oh hell no. No this clown didn’t. My mouth is agape, literally for like two minutes. I’m staring at the text with my mouth wide open. I get desperate. In a move, I’d never pull with a man for whom my feelings surpassed my vagina, I call him. Not once. But twice. I realize as I listen to his voicemail that it wasn’t something that came up, but probably someone….else.

Geneva

It’s 4 AM. Do you know where your man is? In the damn bathroom. Wait, is he peeing. No, he’s talking. To himself…? No, not to himself.

I sat up in bed, afro all smashed out of shape. He was speaking so low with the damn door cracked I could barely make out what he was saying. It coulnd’t have been an emergency. WTF? I laid back down but I didn’t close my eyes. He knew I’d heard him. He walked back in, beautiful and butt naked, put the phone on the night stand, rolled over and went to sleep.

The next morning he woke up and made us eggs and sausage. I threw on my robe, brushed my teeth, washed my face, sprayed on some scent. He acted like he was all into his food.

“What happened last night?”

“Whatchu mean” he said reverting to his Brooklyn Speak.

“You were in the bathroom on the phone?” NEGRO!!!

“Nah. I’mma need you to not be in my business like that right now.”

Say what. I preceded to tell his nappy headed ass that it is my business because it’s my bathroom and that if he wanted to have private conversations at the crack of dawn then he could go outside on the sidewalk with the damn crazies and do so.

We got in an argument that consisted of me saying twice as much as he did. Arguing with Paul is like having it out with a wall. He left. Haven’t heard from him.

100 Days: An Opportunity to Grade... Or to Throw Shade?

2009-04-29T06:16:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that every time a story about President Obama’s 100th day appears on the teleprompter, I cringe. It’s not the "100Days" hype that disgusts me. Obama hype is pretty status quo by now, especially amongst us media folk. You either love the President, or you love to hate him. But I'm annoyed by the nation's preoccupation with 'grading' the President. News outlets, particularly in my Republican neck of the woods, have run the classroom motif into the ground. There is a fine line between critique and condescension. Many news organizations have crossed it.

I pulled a few national headlines.

· "This week President Obama and his administration receive their first semester grades "

· "Obama Gets a B-Plus" for his first 100 Days

· "Boehner Gives Low Grade To Obama's 100 Days"

· "National Report Card"

· "Obama's National Security: A Pretty Good Report Card"

Even though coverage has been largely positive, I would argue that the conversation is framed in a biased manner. Traditionally, the 100th Day assesment is prophetic. How has the president's actions thus far alluded to his leadership style and political agenda. On the eve of Obama's 100th day, the debate still centers around whether or not the President has proven himself capable of being the president. I thought we left that debate on the stump.

I remember watching the (Black) US Olympic relay team this past summer drop the baton in the final stretch. I remember thinking "Damn! We almost had it!"I wonder. Are we anxiously waiting for Obama to drop the figurative 'baton'?

The press is capitalizing on strong reservations held by many Americans, even some of his supporters, regarding Obama's ability to meet his goals. News stories that contain subtly racist and paternalistic undertones capitalize on these reservations. There's an interesting intertextual interplay happening between journalist and audience here, and I think it ultimately translates into higher ratings and profit.

The obvious fallacy is that we can form a deft conclusion after his 100^th day on the job. His entire term is still a litany of open-ended questions. The best mark that can give the man is an 'incomplete', because it’s impossible to judge the success of initiatives that may take every bit of four years, and then some, to reach fruition.

And what if, theoretically speaking, on April 29^th, the American people flunk the President in a national gallop poll? Will that grant them the inalienable right to organize a coup de tat? Rally at the white house steps? Ran-sack Michelle’s vegetable garden? Absolutely not. We patiently await the outcome of his decisions, just like we did with our last president.

The president already aced one helluva test, and it was pass/fail only.

As a journalist, I think we're missing the mark. Obama’s 100^th Day in office presents a great opportunity to make sense of shifting political winds. Obama, as a politician, is sui generis. His disciplined, ambitious style of leadership that harkens back to the days of FDR. Internationlly, he is forging alliances that will undoubtedly push foreign policy is a new direction. I'd rather open the discussion up to the future implications, positive and negative, of his policies, as many will bring about sweeping changes within society.

All presidents come under fire on their 100^th day, and it is okay to criticize the president. Let me repeat-- It is okay to criticize my Black president. I just hope that we can first, respect him, as the president. He's earned at least that right.

Where you been girl?!?!

2009-04-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

So as my loyal readers may have guessed, I took a hiatus. Six months ago I began my foray into broadcast journalism, working crazy hours as a reporter in medium-town Florida.

As I have begun doing free-lance work and a hefty non-fiction venture, I assumed I would put FFD down. But I can't. Readers have yet to abandon me (which makes me feel great), and I'm reluctant to abandon them. And all this writing I do-- I need to let loose!!!

So---

I'm coming back. At least weekly, with the random commentary you know and hopefully love.

Flyness and Funk,

Ike
Also-- you can stay up to date on my blog posts, articles, random thoughts and if you're in my neighborhood appearances by following me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/flyfunkydiva.

Please Share Inauguration Pics with FFD!!!

2009-01-19T04:17:00.000-08:00

Hey Divas,

This Tuesday I will be doing local coverage of the inauguration at my station, so unfortunately I won't be apart of the fun. Unlike my parents who will be at one of 'the' white tie affairs! So here's how you can help share your experience of the great pilgrimage to DC-- email me pics. I don't care what they are, people waiting, people looking up at the megatrons, tears, shouts, screams, parties-- everything. I want FFD to be apart of the moment so allow this site to be a forum of your experiences.

SEND CANDID SHOTS TO FLYFUNKYDIVA@GMAIL.COM.

Thank you in advance, and for those of you in DC, be safe, and savor every moment of this precious history in the making.

With Love,

IKE

EXCLUSIVE: Kai Milla to Design Michelle Obama's Inauguration Gown

2009-01-17T16:44:00.000-08:00

Divas-

I've been dreaming up Michelle's inaugural gown since Barack first announced his candidacy! Let's just say I always believed in the change. Now the big moment when America welcomes its new first family is days away and an insider source who is very close friends with Mr. Stevie Wonder has revealed that Stevie Wonder's wife, Kai Milla, created Michelle's gown. Kai, who has also designed for Michelle, met her this summer at the Democratic National Convention.

It is quite fitting that Michelle should choose a relatively obscure african american female designer to style her on one of the biggest nights in fashion history. Trust that the top echelon of fashion designers reached out to her with sketches. But this is significant because Black women have historically been excluded from high-end fashion. This is yet another sign of the tides of change.

Nevertheless, knowing Michelle, she just went with the designer that could best accomodate her simplistic, elegant style. I know one thing... this dress had better be fierce!!

And of course, Stevie Wonder, Michelle's favorite musical artist will perform at the inauguration along with Aretha Franklin!!!

Flyness, funk and soooo much inaugural anticipation,

Ike

Fab Affordable Products: Relaxing Bubble Baths

2009-01-16T02:54:00.000-08:00

Hey divas,

My form of meditation is the night time bath. Sometimes it's rough on my edges but at least four nights a week I like to light a candle, play some nice music, and fill my tub up with steamy bubbles. Not only does it help me relax and thus sleep better, but its great for reflection and-- my pores! Steam is the answer to great skin.

Nevertheless, I wanted to share with you some great and affordable bath elixirs that really set the mood.

Johnson and Johnson's "Melt Away Stress" Body Wash- This product contains J&J's exclusive aromasoothe fragrance with hints of chamomile and lavender, a winning combo in aromatherapy for relaxation. It is marketed as a body wash that you can use in the shower, but it makes an incredible rich and moisturizing bubble bath. It sells for a little over 6 bucks, depending on where you get it, and will last even a bath crazy person like myself a good three weeks. I always have a great sleep after bathing in this stuff.

Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Luxury Bath in "Black Currant Vanilla" makes me feel like the sexiest woman alive-- even if it's just me in the house! It is a fantastic sensual fragrance grounded in notes of black currant and vanilla with an almost hypnotic combination of pumpkin, rosemary, and patchouli. I'm telling you, this is one masterpiece of a scent (totally needs to be an eau de parfum) and it relaxes me and just goes to my head! It's also fabulously moisturizing. Get a bottle for 16.50 and your local BBW and it will last between 5 to 7 uses. (Wonderful if you want to get in the mood before you and your sweety have a date night- or just bathe with him)

And this one doesn't have any bubbles, but "Stress and Tension" Liquids Mineral Bath by Village Naturals (the Village Company) is still fabulous. When you really have had a rough day and you need to just clear your mind and ease your muscles this will do the trick. It is a combination of relaxing menthol, and essences of juniper to releave stress and orange to rejuvenate. It is also mostly composed of naturally derived products, so no crazy chemicals in this bottle. Actually I bathed in it last night to relax and afterwards my body just felt so good and tingly. That menthol increases blood circulation. I fell right asleep afterwards and when I woke up I was amazed at how soft my skin was. Maybe it was the castor oil and aloe vera combo. Nevertheless, you won't regret soaking in this, especially if you're an hard working diva. It will set you back about 5 bucks as well.

WITH FLYNESS AND FOAM,
IKE

She Said What??? Black Women Quotes

2009-01-08T03:32:00.000-08:00

"I don't think the relationship will work. I am 'sniff, swirl, sip'. He's more ' puff, puff, pass'."

- every once in a while these quotes are taken from personal accounts

Fierce Files: Remembering Our History Through Fly Women of Color

2009-01-05T04:47:00.000-08:00

"Jeanne Duval" was a creole dancer and singer of Haitian origin, who relocated to Paris in 1842 where she began her infamous twenty year romance with French poet and literary critic Charles Baudelaire. Jeanne was an icon, however, of style and well-known through out the Bohemian world and aristocratic circles. She is the subject of Monet's famous "Baudelaire's Mistress". (Do note that Monet portrayed her as a Caucasian woman, perhaps he was concerned with selling the painting, but by all accounts she was recognizably of African descent).

She is best known, go figure, as Baudelaire's "Mistress of Mistresses" and his muse, and this is of course during a time when interacial love was deemed "gauche". So imagine, what confidence... what swagger, Madame Duval must have exuded. I love it.

In spite of the snubs of his peers and constant turbulance, Baudelaire was hopelessly in love with Jeanne and his "Black Venus" was the subject of many of his love poems. While it is clear that she held him spell bound, his fascination with her percieved exoticism and sexuality courses though the poetry.

Below is one of my personal favorites, "Sed Non Satitata" or "Never Satisfied". It is from his anthology "Fleurs du mal" or "Flowers of Evil", much of it a commentary on the women in his life, real and imagined. This translation from French is one of many variations, but I like this the best.

Sed Non Satiata

Strange deity, brown as nights,
Whose perfume is mixed with musk and Havanah,
Magical creation, Faust of the savanna,
Sorceress with the ebony thighs, child of black midnights,

I prefer to African wines, to opium, to burgundy,
The elixir of your mouth where love parades itself;
When my desires leave in caravan for you,
Your eyes are the reservoir where my cares drink.

From those two great black eyes, chimneys of our spirit,
O pitiless demon, throw out less flame at me;
I am no Styx to clasp you nine times,

Nor can I, alas, dissolute shrew,
To break your courage, bring you to bay,
Become any Proserpine in the hell of your bed!

— Geoffrey Wagner, Selected Poems of Charles Baudelaire (NY: Grove Press, 1974)

Your First Resolution: Get Over, Get On

2008-12-31T10:56:00.000-08:00

"Before the clock strikes 12, or at least before you get started on your new resolutions, first resolve to get over those who you feel have gotten over on you."

As we look toward 2009 we are inevitably setting new goals. This will be the year to find true love, drop ten pounds, finish that novel, and move forward in your career. I'm sure of it. But amidst your anticipation of a brand new year, have you closed the book on 2008?

The film Waiting To Exhale chronicles the journey of four single women through bouts of twisted romantic relationships, toward self-love and peace of mind. If you recall, it begins and ends with a New Years celebration. In the final scene they sip champagne and rejoice over a bond fire. (They also sing Roberta Flack's 'It Might Be You'... gotta love that song) But, that fire symbolizes the destruction of their anguish over failed relationships. It is their choosing to move on from slights made against them and past dreams unfilfilled. It symbolizes them taking back the pieces of their dignity that those men once took from them. And in the midst of those ashes is a fresh start.

Do note, I am not suggesting that you light a fire or that you light your ex's car on fire with his things in it. Think theoretically.

We tend to convince ourselves that we are ready for change when we really are not. Before we can venture closer to our ideal selves we have to overcome the pain that we have caused others and those that others have caused us. Before you can welcome sweet love into your life you have to accept those past heart breaks and grow from them. Before you can progress in your career you have to evaluate your past failures, recover, and then strategize for the future. And before you can move on with your physical goals, you'll need to amend any negative thinking and understand that the outer you is ultimately a reflection of what's going on inside. It'd be wise to love both.

You can not move into this next year still feeling like a victim of the past. 'Now' is a precious opportunity.

Before the clock strikes 12, or at least before you get started on your new resolutions, first resolve to get over those who you feel have gotten over on you.You don't have to like them, but don't allow these people, or their memory, to keep you down. I departed 2007 still sulking over a heart break, and you know what... I carried that entire burden through out 2008. Thoughts of him and what could have been clouded my decision making certainly put a damper on my love life... Until recently, I compared every man that I dated to him, fatefully, deciding to be miserable. I choose to leave those thoughts in 2008.

So as Erykah Badu once sang "Bag lady, you gon' hurt your back, carryin' all those bags like that..." step into 2009 knowing that "all you must hold onto is you". Learn from the past, realize that life is an eb and flow. Our lows guide us to our peaks. As the seconds tick toward midnight, live in the moment. See the blessings that are bountiful in your life right now! Leave all your sadness, drama, and baggage in 2008.

May your new year be filled with health, love, blessings, sass, soul, and all that your heart desires.

Love,

IKE

Dr. Elizabeth Alexander Named Inaugural Poet

2008-12-18T02:56:00.000-08:00

The Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies announced this week that Dr. Elizabeth Alexander, a poet, author, and Professor of African-American studies at Yale University will be the praise poet featured at President Elect Barack Obama's Inauguration. She will be the fourth poet to read at swearing-in. Robert Frost was the first at JFK's inauguration in 1961. And who can forget Maya Angelou's 1993 reading of "On the Pulse of the Morning" for President Clinton? It's featured below.

Now I'm elated because Professor Alexander is a former professor of mine and one of my favorites. Her class was deep and she believed in my work. I'm so proud of her! For a poet, this is really our nation's top honor. Congratulations!

She has authored poems, plays, essays, and short stories in addition to having molded hundreds of bright young minds. In 2005 she was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. To learn more about Dr. Alexander, visit her website.

Here is a selection.

Ars Poetica #28: African Leave-Taking Disorder

The talk is good. The two friends linger
at the door. Urban crickets sing with them.

There is no after the supper and talk.
The talk is good. These two friends linger

at the door, half in, half out, ‘til one
decides to walk the other home. And so

they walk, more talk, the new doorstep, the
nightgowned wife who shakes her head and smiles

from the bedroom window as the men talk
in love and the crickets sing along.

The joke would be if the one now home
walked the other one home, where they started,

to keep talking, and so on: “African
Leave-Taking Disorder,” which names her children

everywhere trying to come back together and talk.

SPOTLIGHT: Diana Ross, Take Me Higher, Ed Sullivan Show

2008-12-10T23:25:00.001-08:00

Diana Ross singing her dance hit "Take Me Higher" on the Ed Sullivan show during the nineties. It's a song I work out to every morning. You will not be able to watch this and not want to dance along! She looks incredible, sounds incredible, and whats more awesome is that her effervescent spirit just radiates during the interview. Werq Miss Ross!!!

Wedding Dress of the Week

2008-12-10T21:22:00.000-08:00

This stunning mermaid gown by Pnina Tornai is designed exclusively for the Kleinfeld Bridal Salon in New York City. It's for the bride who desires one of a kind glamour and doesn't mind the 'exclusive' price tag. It will accentuate a svelte figure, particularly on woman with lovely arms and shoulders. To learn more about this dress visit the Kleinfeld website or call 646 633 4300.

Midnight Stream of Conscious: A Love Supreme: A Dénouement

2008-12-09T23:09:00.000-08:00

* A writing ritual I do at each year's end. Personal, cathartic-- and for some reason I feature it on my blog. Feel free to skip. Or better yet, try it yourself.

First off, I don’t know how smooth this will be or how writer-like. I was prompted to repeat this yearly ritual when I entered Starbucks today and saw that the red holiday cups were back, as was the gingerbread loaf that I adore. Oh, I ate so much of that at Yale because I used pastries to lift my spirits amidst dizzying rounds of depression. As they say, stressed is ‘desserts’ spelled backwards.

My life has taken an auspicious turn, and I’m seemingly light years away from the wet streets of Elm City, where I meandered during awkward hours of night, munching on croissants and piping hot coffee, anxious about cramming a 30 page paper into 48 hours or how my demonic Arabic professor would love to fail me. Yale is over. Shove a fork in a really dry, over-cooked piece of filet mignon.

To be honest, it does not feel like an incredible accomplishment. It just feels done. Sort of like I ran so hard to finish that I’m too winded to smile for any pictures at the finish line. But having had seven months to reflect, it is a tremendous victory and I should not overlook that.

As a student, I was unfulfilled. I felt that I’d made a huge, incorrigible mistake for the first three years. In spite of having an opportunity to study at one of the world’s finest institutions and a fellowship with a media company that some students would kill for, I wasn’t convinced that I was walking along my gilded path, the term I have coined to mean destiny. I tussled with the idea of dance, and longed for those yesterdays of skinny legs and freed point shoes but I would learn through trial and error that the life of a ballerina was merely an avenue not a destination. If I can compare my relationship to the ballet with a torrid love affair, it was and always will be the most difficult lover with whom I’ve had to part. But I did. And when I look back I smile.

Somehow it was my journey to Africa during the summer of 2007, right before my senior year, that put the sequence of events, also known as my life, into pristine order. It’s awesome how part of a blessing is the ability to know when one has been blessed. I believe that my indifference toward life came from that failure to see.

Today, I understand that the knowledge I gained, the camaraderie I shared and the mistakes I made in college were part of a long-term growth process that I needed to endure in order to be the woman that I am. When I see my reflection, when I entertain my private thoughts, I am so proud. Diamonds are formed under pressure, and one only gains that type of sparkling bearing, scintillating wisdom, through life’s horrific challenges. This I believe to be true.

I endured a hellish senior year. At no point did I know how or if I would finish until I did. I felt like I was stepping through thick brush in pitch black darkness, hoping the end was near. And that was only half the battle.

After graduation, I had a clear goal. I wanted to be a television journalist—let me be clear. Not a producer, not a writer, not an assignment editor, but a reporter. And I would go anywhere and accept any amount of pay to do so. This in my heart I felt was the only job at that moment that I could be passionate about and what is life without breath and passion?

I was insecure about how this goal would be realized. For months I sent out dozens of demo reels to no avail despite a few broken promises. Everyone told me that I was crazy to be entering the industry. It was too hard to start off as on air-talent and even if I did, I’d be in the boonies and broke. I should be reasonable. Sensible. Safe. I’d be wise to go to law school or settle for job similar to what most Yalies do post-grad- what ever that is. The economy was bad. "Nobody's hiring" they warned. They said my aims were entirely too high. It seemed as those around me were trying desperately to break my fighting spirit but even in the absence of promise, I held onto my will for dear life.

In July, on a whim I decided to travel to Chicago for the Unity Conference of journalists. I would use my charm to hustle some new opportunities. This is where I met a news director who told me she believed I had great potential, but I needed just a year in small market before she could consider me. I had to lose my being ‘green’. The problem was my feverish search for a job in a small market had turned up nothing.

Months later, after several ghastly disappointments, it happened. It was Ramadan. I was fasting and praying every day, exercising my faith excitedly and entering new spiritual terrain. At this point it was coming on four months without an offer but there was a peace that had blanketed me. Somehow I knew that in my midst was an open door and I would not stop until I found it.

It was during this month that that same news director got in contact with me. A reporter had quit, there was an opening. She explained that her instincts told her to give me a shot. To remind you, this is a lady that had met me over two months ago at a conference with about a thousand journalists. I’m convinced that instinct was God. Within two weeks following that phone call, she’d checked with my contacts, I flew down for an audition and landed an incredible position.

I was suddenly a reporter and not in a small market either, but a mid-sized market where most reporters were on their second, third and fourth jobs. I had surpassed the vision that I formed for myself and that is an exhilarating feeling. You know what it feels like? Like with faith and iron-clad fortitude anything is possible. And it is. We have a new president, my degree hangs on a wall at my parent’s home (they can keep it) , and five days a week folks turn on their tv’s and see yours truly! How lovely. Really, through God all things are possible. That maxim says it best.

So during this holiday season I am most grateful for how closer I have grown to Him. Certainly it is a sign of my maturity.

I think about love and how It’d be nice, but not necessary. I remember how while in college I so desired that affection and felt that amidst a few half-hearted liaisons, I was missing out. Reflecting, that search was not for love but rather validation. It can be confusing.

I think I was another fly girl that did not understand her inherent value. I had the grace, but not the dignity that accompanies that. So when I cried over Prince Charming’s dashing disappearance or put up with Scorpio’s madness, I was really appealing to these men for confidence. When I felt as if I were stumbling in the dark, their affection seemed like a bough to grab on to, if only for a moment.

But today I am experiencing total self love. (Many of us are in partial). And that feels like the smile that spread across my face when I see a baby laugh, when the sun shines in my face, or when I slide into a warm bubble bath and sip a glass of sweet champagne. And it feels like prayer, because to know God and to love self is to feel—complete. Blithely complete.

Sometimes, I must admit, I still think about the craziest instance of kismet and the man who went away but I no longer take pity or punish myself over this unfortunate turn of events. Nor do I still try to make sense of the nonsensical. I can only let my light shine. I can not dim it for others or allow others to dim it for me. The wind of serendipity never stops blowing so perhaps he and I will meet again on a chilly day. Perhaps this time, with me a complete woman and him a more complete man. Or perhaps, we shall not. I realize that these matter, like all matters, don’t happen on human account. We just convince ourselves that they do.

It is Christmas time and I feel the joy of the holidays running to the end of my garnet tipped fingers. After work, I remove my disco ball earrings, wipe my face clean of all the glamourous make up, the concealers, powders and the high lighters and I still glow. Walk past my house and you may hear me belting Diana Ross’ “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” at the top of my lungs or possibly John Coltrane’s ‘Love Supreme’ simmering. Truly, I have found my Love Supreme.

The last time I wrote holiday manifesto I secretly hoped that a certain someone might read, it, but this evening I wrote this all for me.

Cheerleading Dad Commercial-- Fatherhood.gov

2008-12-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

This PSA commercial by fatherhood.gov warms my heart. Not only does it remind me of my own father, but this is a slick way of articulating what it is to be a 'dad' and really a 'man'. And to my SINGLE DIVAS-- this should be the standard for selecting our future husbands.

SPOTLIGHT: Diana Ross, No One Gets the Prize , Ceasars Palace, Las Vegas, 1979

2008-09-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

Clip from her legendary concert at Ceasar's Palace following the release of "The Boss". This song, along with The Boss, and Ain't No Mountain High Enough was produced by the awesome duo Ashford & Simpson.

Fly Alert: Diane von Furstenburg "Natasha" Skirt

2008-09-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

I think this is sooo Mary Tyler Moore! This a-line skirt is universally flattering and the rows of double buttons are a cute nod to the sixties. Pair with a pair of updated spectator pump like this one from Gucci and a simple black top for a knock out outfit. Purchase here for $325. Actually, these Gucci pumps deserve a pic. They're fabolah as well.

SPOTLIGHT: Keith Olbermann, Republicans Hi-Jacked 9/11

2008-09-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

This "Special Comment" by Keith Olbermann aired on MSNBC on the eve of the 9/11 Anniversary, condemned the Republican Party for using the event as a tactic for political control. Fear Mongering would be the appropriate term. Anyways, this commenary is incredibly poignant and well-argued.... it is certainly worth your watch.

-Ike

Monique Lhullier, Spring Collection, New York Fashion Week, 2008

2008-09-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

Monique Lhullier is synonomous with the modern bridal gown, but her latest showing in Bryant Park demonstrated that she is also well positioned to be a tremendous force in evening and day wear. Her Spring Collection, which she described as a "tropical island get-away" was safe, but nothing short of fantastic. Sandy haired (I would have liked to see Jourdan or Chanel) models walked the runway in vibrant Mediterranean pastel hues, sultry chiffon and tulle, and scintillating details such as gold embellishment that are trademark Monique. Monique, under 30, is definitely one to watch, and not just if your planning a wedding. Enjoy the selected pics.

Ciara Poses Nude for Vibe...At what cost?

2008-09-10T05:21:00.000-07:00

Ciara poses in the buff for the latest issue of Vibe Magazine. My thoughts: a gimmick to promote her latest project. Let's call a spade a spade. I hate to dismiss a public figure for posing in the nude, but I do question it.

One of the primary challenges that young Black women face is body consciousness, that is the manner in which we, as Black American women, conceptualize our bodies while growing up in a society that has historically sexualized us. When media images implicitly places value on the Black woman's sexuality, sensuality... her "vixenhood"... how do we develop a sense of respect for the divine gift that God gave us? When a notable star, an icon for young Black women, takes it all off for the sake promotion, it adds to this conflict.

Why does this disturb me? Do some research on HIV/AIDS statistics. Black women between the ages of 15-24, the age group most influenced by media outlets like Vibe and the likes of Ciara, are contracting the disease at the fastest rate in this country, and primarily as a result of unprotected heterosexual intercourse. This means that there is a grave number of Black young women who don't feel strongly enough about their bodies to negotiate condom use and to not give themselves liberally to men who probably do not deserve them. We can not isolate the prevalence of promiscuity and unprotected sexual activity amongst young Black women from the culture. I'm not being holier than though, or puritanical, but seriously ladies... let's look at the picture. It's bleak.

Black women of all socioeconomic echelons are waging a battle for their sexual health and losing. We can no longer afford to be irresponsible about the mass messages that we dissiminate . Ciara's display treats the nude black body as a commodity. And let's face it, she is doing this to sell albums, sell magazines, and increase her star power. Her body, in this sense, is a commodity. Look at the second spread... it's not even 'artistic'. It's blatant, parted-lips, XXL, King-Style, sexual nudity intended to tittilate and suggest. When someone of her star power conducts herself in this manner, it says to her vulnerable fans that the exhibition of the body at whim is normal. It is okay. It is cool. It implies the sexuality is a viable path to notoriety and success. And as young women yearn to be popular and feel good about themselves, and many will model themselves after their cultural icons in doing so, it is no wonder that you can go to a Myspace or a Facebook page and see a half dressed young woman screaming for attention. It is no wonder that for many young ladies of color, their greatest aspiration is to dance half naked in a rap video for a paltry sum. And it is now wonder that there are countless Black women who would give of themselves and not even think twice about protection.

Please, let us as Black women and especially Black women in the public eye be sensitive to the plight of our young females for self-respect and sexual health. Let's be responsible. We owe at least that much to ourselves.

-Ike

Still, No Justice for Sean Bell

2008-09-10T05:06:00.000-07:00

Al Sharpton will appear before a New York court today on allegations of disorderly conduct and obstruction of road ways during protests that followed the Sean Bell verdict. Fathom the irony. Sean Bell was fatally shot 50 times in Queens, New York back in 2006, by a gang of New York cops. It was the eve of his wedding. This incident sparked national controversy over the continuity of police brutality inthe urban streets of America. All of murderers were acquitted of their charges.

-Ike

AND IM BACK!!!

2008-09-08T20:17:00.001-07:00

So sorry for the technical confusion... I'm back for good now.

Ike

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2008-08-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

APOLOGIES

Sen. Biden, Obama Pick for VP

2008-08-22T23:16:00.001-07:00

I'm going to give myself some dap because I called it. Did you? Senator Joe Biden of Delaware is Obama's running mate. The campaigned formally announced very early Saturday morning. I think his lengthy interim in the senate, his foreign policy experience and his Scranton, PA working class roots make him an asset to the Obama platform. He has the qualities that Obama's opponents argue that the presidential hopeful lacks, and then some. Biden is an excellent orator, candid and quite charming (though clearly Obama is not hurting in that department) .

Many will be dissapointed that Hillary is not the running mate, but that prospect was a charade. I doubt she was ever taken into serious consideration. It was ideal, not practical. It would have made him appear weak(er), disengenous, and really, who wants to lead with Bill in the house??? (All that saxaphone playing in the wee hours of the night) The argument is that her 18 million votes will defect if he does not choose her as VP, but let us not assume that this is a solid voting block. Some of those 18 million will choose Obama in the absence of Hillary because they are party loyalists (or they're tired of biking to work). Some of those 18 million will defect. Some will sit at home and pout, and some of those 18 million were probably Republicans to begin with. As far as exact figures go, who knows, but I think Dems can be optimistic. If there is one thing playing directly into their hands, it's the economy. I do consider an excellent choice for Cabinet and if he shall lose... count on seeing Sen. Clinton in 2012. Let's be real.

But for now, I'm ready to sit back and see how the networks spin this. With the DNC coming up it should be an eventful week.

PS: McCain's choice, if he was smart, would be a woman and if he was really smart... would be Condi Rice.

-Ike

Condi gets Fly in the Final Hour

2008-08-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it is because she is on a European tour extending an olive branch that dried up several years ago and the camera's are rolling. Perhaps it is because as secretary of defense she was part responsible for what many regard as one of the biggest international military blunders in modern history and she'd like to redeem herself on some level. Or that her term is almost up. Or maybe, just maybe, it is because beneath that hardened exterior is...'a woman'.

Whatever the reason, Condi has been looking, dare I say it, fly over the past few weeks. Has anyone else noticed? I was watching the news coverage of her Warsaw visit where she traveled to sign a deal on the deployment of elements of a U.S. missile shield in Poland. I mean, I gagged. Her trademark darth vader meets Mary Tyler Moore flip was replaced with a soft bob. At last, she replaced that harsh, cherry lipstick that Lancome or whoever makes it did not create with her in mind with a more Black people friendly raspberry. Absent were the chocolate chip cookie moles (kudos to her derm) and the cream suit with chic upturned collar and exposed darting was remarkable.

No stranger to St. John's Knits, Condi has always been well suited, but stuffy, in an "I live in Connecticut" sort of way. Not fly. However lately, she's giving me Clair Huxtable rather than neurotic Black Stepford 'Wife' (umm, she did call Mr. President her husband). And this softer look is smart considering that she isn't getting any younger.... And that she lied in front of the international community... But who's counting past transgressions.

I think that real reason that she has decided to "floss" and "shine" a bit before her White House Departure is because she's solidyfing her legacy. Say what you want about her, she is one of the most powerful women in the world and not just according to Forbes. And from the African-American perspective she has reached a level in D.C. unsurpassed by any other. Three biographies about her were released in 2007 alone; “The Confidante: Condoleezza Rice and the Creation of the Bush Legacy,” by The Washington Post’s Glenn Kessler, “Condoleezza Rice: An American Life,” by The New York Times’s Elisabeth Bumiller and “Twice as Good: Condoleezza Rice and Her Path to Power,” by Marcus Mabry, now an editor at The Times. Her foot print has been made in history but at a high price. Unfortunately there are many Americans and human beings that await her departure from office like a toddler awaiting an ice cream cone. Many regard her with vitriol, and well, many do not. But nevertheless, I think she's well aware of her precarious position of deep power and shallow esteem. And I think she is trying to project a confident, polished image in her final hour. And you know what? I ain't mad at her. Do it girl. (oooh, awkward)

-Ike

America's Watching... Don't Drop the Baton

2008-08-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

Dag nabbit! I think as I the final runner on the USA drops the baton and sufficiently leaves me and the other folks crowded around the screen at our vineyard condo sufficiently gagging. For the first time in Olympics history both the men and women’s relay team dropped the baton, disqualifying themselves from the finals. They basically gave Jamaica an all access pass to the gold, which is great considering that the Jamaican track team and it’s star Usain Bolt are phenomenal. Of course, the Black woman in me applauds any person of color that seizes gold.

Nevertheless, I can’t help but consider the political implications as we are in the heat of political season, and everything seems to carry a political implication. But let’s consider this scenario. The USA track team (like basketball) historically has been dominated by African American athletes. In the unspoken, but earnestly implied, competition for gold metals between Chinese and the USA, the track team was a dependable deliverer. Track… it’s just our sport. So considering that Chinese athletes have showed up to show out at their Olympics, there was a conspicuous pressure on the track team to perform. Their success meant national glory. And this shouldn’t have been an unrealistic expectation as commentators have remarked that the team assembled in Oregon this year is one of the strongest yet. Nevertheless star after star incredibly underperformed. Tyson Gaye injured himself upon arrival, ruining his chances at Gold. Shayna showed up ‘flossing’ with her new 5 caret engagement ring, the un-aerodynamic Flo-Jo weave, and flashy gear and in the final second, was completely swept out of her lead. (I have to wonder where her mind was) Lolo fell to her knees when in less than a second a misled hurdle carried her from 1st to 7th position. Ouch. And then back to back, both relay teams dropped the baton in the final stretch.

The word in every commentators mouth was “leadership”. How had the coaches failed the athletes? But I think the subliminal message that national audiences may have unintentionally (I think) received was leadership of the presidential kind, and how it might fail the nation. The Blacks dropped the ball. Literally. They underperformed when it mattered most, failing to seize the gold for the country… Would another brown person in a position of power do the same? I couldn’t help but wonder if there were some American viewing audiences drawing their own political interpretations from the track madness. Or not. It’s just at thought.

My analysis is that the relay goof up reflects a lack of solidarity. Pride we have. We are proud to be a part of this great country despite its shortcomings. But Americans don’t have the same solidarity as other nations. We don’t grow up feeling a natural affinity, or kinship even to our fellow country men. It is the “melting pot’s” double edged sword. And as running in an innately individual sport, to me, what was lacking on that team was true solidarity and the focused cooperation that accompanies it. But I can’t help but think back to 1968 Olympics when runners Tommie Smith and John Carlos performed the Black Power Salute during the medal ceremony. It demonstrated a solidarity with those Black Americans at home struggling for their civil rights. Smith later said "If I win, I am American, not a black American. But if I did something bad, then they would say I am a Negro. We are black and we are proud of being black. Black America will understand what we did tonight." I wonder, was this sort of solidarity present on that field last night, forty years later? Perhaps not. And perhaps some will argue that it doesn’t have to be.
In the grand scheme of things, when the pressure is on and America is watching, please don’t drop the ba(ll)ton.
-Ike