Food Good, Laundry Bad

10 Items or Less

2013-05-11T14:08:00.000-05:00

Today's Blog Every Day in May post is to sell yourself in 10 words or less. Brevity isn't really my thing but I'll try!

A foul-mouthed Betty Crocker with no fucking clue what she's doing.

Sold? I hope so.

Blog A Day in May - May 10, Most Embarrassing Story

2013-05-10T11:35:00.001-05:00

This one was hard, not because I couldn't think of one, but because I had too many to choose from! I decided to go with the letter of the law on this one and pick my actual MOST embarrassing. I want this to be a challenge, right? I tell embarrassing stories every day, so this should be something that's hard to tell. Luckily for you, it's still funny.

Now... shockingly, I have to admit that in my 35 years on this planet, I've had sex with guys other than Big Guy. I had a kid when I met him, actually. So the gentleman in this story is NOT Big Guy. We hadn't met at this point.

I invited a boy I liked over for dinner. I was making chipotle rubbed ribs, mashed potatoes, and a big salad. I whizzed up a can of chipotle pepper in adobo and half a bottle of KC Masterpiece BBQ sauce in my blender and was using my bare hands to rub it into the meat. Boy in question started kissing my neck and .. well, I wrapped the meat in Saran Wrap and stuck it in the fridge, washed my hands quickly and we went off to the bedroom.

Now how to put this delicately.

My hands touched him in.. places... and then his places touched my places. And then both our places started to burn. I realized what had happened and we went to the bathroom to rinse. That didn't help at all! I wound up called Poison Control and he and I both ended the night in my bathtub pouring milk on our privates.

He did not call me again.

The ribs were good.

Blog A Day in May - catch up!

2013-05-09T16:42:00.001-05:00

I wanted to do this "Blog Every Day in May" when I heard about it in April but "the man" kept me down.. (Namely: amazon..don't ask, long story) but I'm gonna get caught up and then I'll blog every day from here on out! Rather than flooding y'all with 11 or so posts in one day, I'm going to do all the prompts I've missed on this one post. I'll try to make it all worth reading!

May 1: The Story of Your Life in 250 words or less

Evin was born to a hiphugger bell bottom wearing mama and a bearded papa. She was an only child and spent a lot of time in her head. She got really fat. She got knocked up by a guy she didn't know very well and had an amazing kid. She lost a lot of weight because she wanted to be healthy for the kid. She got really hot. She met a new guy and shockingly, got knocked up again. And again (same guy). They now live in the country where she has to go outside to do laundry like a goddamn caveman. The end.

May 2: How to fry an egg properly (educate your audience on something you know a lot about)

Heat a small cast iron skillet on medium heat and melt a table spoon of butter into it. When the butter is melted, crack and egg into the pan. Stare at it for a few minutes. Tilt the pan, and using a spoon, pour hot butter from the pan onto the white part of the egg to cook it. Spoon a little onto the yolk, too but not too much. We want it runny. Shut up, I didn't ask you how you wanted your eggs... I'm telling you how to cook them properly. When the white is totally set, and the yolk is jiggly but not too liquidy, put it on top of some crappy leftovers nuked in the microwave and make them awesome.

May 3: Things That Make Me Uncomfortable:

Pants.

May 4: Favorite Quote and why I love it

"Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing." - Optimus Prime

This reminds me that sometimes you just gotta roll with it. Shit happens. Be ready.

May 5: Profess your love for a blogger friend

I'm not going to pick a friend because I don't want to leave anyone out. I pick Amber from Crappy Pictures because I love her blog and I WISH she was my friend!

May 6: What do you do?

I write, I sing, I dance, I cook, I blog, I swear. Sometimes, I fall down.

May 7: The Things I'm Most Afraid Of

Lettuce, nuns, thunder, birds.

Fuck off, I know I'm weird. Yes, lettuce. It makes a weird noise that hurts my teeth.

May 8: A piece of advice I have for others

Be authentic. For fuck's sake, just be yourself. Be kind and silly and bitchy and whatever YOU are. Not what people want. Be you.

May 9: A moment in my day

Post bath smoochies

Well! That was fun, right? That's got us caught up!!! Starting tomorrow, expect a new post every day!

The GodToddler

2013-05-09T15:16:00.001-05:00

As has been bandied about the Mommy-Blogosphere almost to the point of nausea, going to the bathroom alone is NOT a mother's prerogative.It just doesn't really happen.It's almost cliche to talk about it, but talk about it I shall... because it took a scary turn in my house this past weekend.

Our bedroom is off the kitchen, and there's a bathroom in there. There's a bathroom in the hall, too, that is the "kids and guests " bathroom. The back bathroom though is a magical place because there are TWO locked doors between me and the kids. It's my own personal day spa, library, altar, writing nook, confessional, arcade, and phone booth.

Big Guy was home and I decided to "take a break". I announced, in a super sexy and classy voice "I gotta poop." and went into the bedroom, locked the door, and then into the bathroom, and locked that door. I knew the kids and the house would survive, because he won't let them break anything too important or get too hurt, so I knew I could take my time.

I heard Minion knock at the bedroom door and I ignored her. When I didn't answer, she started to yell, but I ignored that too. I texted Big Guy "get her please" and he did. He's a good daddy. After I had used up all my Candy Crush lives and read a few pages of the shitty romance novel on my Kindle app, I decided it was time to emerge.

When I opened the bedroom door, it made a funny sound. I looked and found this...

I think it's some sort of threat. Minion sleeps right beside me and I swear she's been watching me sleep.

If anything happens to me... don't trust the sweet look on her face! Check her nails, y'all.

A Wordless Wednesday Wecipe

2013-05-01T07:13:00.001-05:00

Macguyver Mom

2013-04-30T07:25:00.001-05:00

Yesterday The Boy had the day off so we decided to go to the pool at my moms apartment complex. By the time we left I had had "a day" so I just threw everyone's suits in a bag and we took off.

We swam, and then when we were back in the apartment changing I realized I had made an unforgivable rookie mistake!

I forgot to bring a diaper for Minion for after the pool. She's thinking about wanting to potty-learn but she is not prepared for a 20 minute diaper- free car ride. So I did what mothers have done for centuries. I fucking made it work.

Texas Moms Need Help

2013-04-29T16:27:00.003-05:00

This is another guest post, on a topic near and dear to me. I 100% support a woman's right to breastfeed when and where she chooses, as well as HOW she chooses. However nobody really listens to me cuz I get all worked up and start swearing. So I got my smart, well spoken friend Krisdee to tell y'all about it. Krisdee Donmoyer is a mother of three who blogs at Keep Austin Nursing in Public. Read her blog and like her on Facebook!

Texas moms – and babies – need help.

Breastfeeding has become quite the hot button topic in the media of late. And why not? Everybody loves boobs. And everybody loves to talk about how other people parent. It’s a great combination to get people engaged.

There’s the mother who was yelled at by a manager for breastfeeding her baby at Hollister and the teacher who was forced to resign because her principal wouldn’t cover her class for 15 minutes a day so she could pump milk. A mom in Houston was told she couldn’t nurse her baby in a gym daycare and a magazine published an editorial recommending being rude to a mother for nursing her baby in church.

In Texas we just keep making international news, from the national nurse-in sparked by the harassment of a mom nursing her baby in Target to Rep. Debbie Riddle’s remarks in opposition of a bill intended to protect a mother’s right to nurse in public.

What’s that you say? A mother’s right to nurse in public is already protected in Texas?

If it were, that second paragraph would have been a lot shorter. We do have a law, a really great law, which asserts a mother’s right to breastfeed her baby wherever she is authorized to be. But if someone either doesn’t know about the law or just doesn’t agree with it, that mother’s authority can be revoked. And worrying about confrontation for nursing in public is the top barrier to breastfeeding for 40% of women.

Another barrier is lack of support to express breastmilk at work, as was the case for the kindergarten teacher mentioned above. Federal law requires that companies with 50 or more employees provide time and a place to pump for hourly workers. Not so for salaried employees - leaving them to choose between providing optimal nutrition for their babies or keeping their jobs.

Two bills currently sit in the Calendars Committee of the House of Representatives - bills which would go a long way to removing these barriers. HB 741 would require that reasonable accommodations for pumping breastmilk be made for all public employees. HB 1706 would strengthen the current right to breastfeed law so that it would be illegal to oust a nursing mother from a place of public accommodation, and if her rights were infringed upon, she could sue the offender for $500 plus reasonable attorney fees. (Not a lot of dough, so not likely worth the headache of filing suit – but it also makes discriminating against moms not terribly worth the headache of a possible lawsuit.) And perhaps most importantly, the Comptroller’s office would regularly make people aware of the law.

These bills are the help moms and babies need, and these bills need your help.

You can let legislators know that you want them to make the bills law, and it isn’t complicated or time consuming to do so. Go to TXBFLeg.com where you will find calls to action with contact information, guidelines, sample emails, and more.

It’s time for mothers to get the proactive support they need, so they can parent as they choose without having to be reactive to discrimination.

5 Summer Recipe Inspirations (guest post)

2013-04-25T09:23:00.004-05:00

Guest Editorial written by Andrew James. Andrew is a full time engineer but a part time food and recipe indulgent. He enjoys finding and creating new recipes and sharing them with the world! Enjoy!

- A boy who cooks! Yum! :) As usual, I do not condone the use of mushrooms but I guess it's okay for some people. :)

The summer months are just around the corner, and for those of us who love cooking and trying new foods, this is always a fun time of year. With many ingredients at their freshest, and the warm weather inspiring different kinds of meals, the summer is a great time to try new recipes and share cooking ideas with friends and family.

Sharing recipes is always fun for foodies, and these days it's easier than ever! Instead of relying on an old, handwritten recipe book, friends and family can now relay and exchange dining ideas digitally. We can make videos of cooking, send large files of numerous recipes in a single email, and even communicate while cooking via programs like Skype. But first, of course, we need a few recipes to start with. So here are 5 interesting ideas for summer meals to help get you inspired.

1. Kebabs
One of the easiest and most enjoyable summer meal ideas in the book, kebabs offer you the chance to be inventive and sociable. Really, it's as simple as choosing ingredients, sliding them onto a stake, and grilling them up! Popular options for kebabs are steak, chicken and shrimp for meat, and peppers, onions, mushrooms and tomatoes for vegetables. Kebabs make for wonderfully communal and casual outdoor meals during the summer.

2. Risotto
Risotto can certainly be tricky to get right, but once you learn how to cook it, it makes for a delightfully light, but still filling summer meal. Risotto can also come with many different inspirations, whether you opt for a veggie dish featuring zucchini and asparagus, or something a bit heartier like a shrimp risotto. Just about everyone enjoys a tasty risotto, so this is a great dish to master!

3. Grilled Fish Tacos
Like kebabs, fish tacos are incredibly simple, but still offer you a great opportunity to create. Everybody seems to enjoy fish tacos in warm weather, and there are plenty of ways to spice the dish up to make it your own. Different veggie combinations, inventive sauces, and even a bit of citrus can all go well with these popular tacos.

4. Portobello Burgers
Ordinary burgers work just fine as well, but since many people prefer to eat a bit lighter during the summer season, portobello burgers can be great substitutes. Portobello mushrooms are packed with flavour and do great on the grill, and with the right sauce or cheese a truly delicious burger can come about.

5. Lettuce Wraps
Finally, if you want to serve up a dish that lets your dinner guests do the creating on their own, asian lettuce wraps can be perfect for a light summer atmosphere. People put everything from meats and veggies to nuts and fruits in their lettuce wraps, and with a sweet or spicy sauce on hand people can truly enjoy a unique meal.

Campfire cooking, FGLB style

2013-04-23T08:13:00.000-05:00

Sunday Big Guy mowed... first, I gotta brag on him a little. He has a riding mower and he drives around the field cutting the grass - honestly none of us give two shits about lawn care but nobody wants the snakes or critters that can hide in tall grass so he cuts it. But he's a good Daddy and so when there are big patches of pretty wildflowers, he very carefully mows around them, cuz the girls love them.

Well, while he was mowing, he also piled some wood from a tree we chopped down ("we" means I said "hey, chop down that tree" and he did.) in the BBQ pit to burn it, just to get rid of it. It's no good for actual grilling. Well since it was lunch time and I was cleaning the kitchen, I decided to wrap some food in foil and toss it in the fire to cook - why let all that good heat to go waste?

I shoulda let him know what I was up to since I set the foil packets in the wrong spot apparently. I wrapped small new potatoes, garlic and butter in one packet and some corn on the cob and butter in another. The butter leaked and caused a bit of a flair up and... well... the potatoes came out yummy at least.

I got distracted of course and forgot to fix the bacon that was supposed to go with them so yes, we had buttered potatoes and burnt corn for lunch. In case you're wondering, I only instagram the PRETTY food. There's a lot of shit that just doesn't make it to the feed. This is one of those "meals". Don't you wish you lived here?

Breakin' all the rules.

2013-04-22T18:38:00.000-05:00

I think about stuff while I was dishes. I write a lot of blog posts while I wash dishes, not a lot of them make it to the computer though. This one did. Aren't y'all lucky.

I realized a couple things in recent weeks - namely, that Americans (and maybe everybody, I dunno, I can barely keep up with American politics - let alone everybody else's) are kinda like squirrels. We get distracted by the shiny. And politicians exploit that.

I'm gonna break a big rule here. I'm gonna talk about guns, and I'm gonna talk about abortion.

Here's the thing. Guns violence and abortion both suck. Nobody says "hey, today I think I wanna get shot and then abort my baby!" They're both bad things. But they're not THE PROBLEM. They're a symptom of THE PROBLEM.

But politicians don't wanna or can't address THE PROBLEM so they wave shiny guns and abortions in our faces. The right side screams OMG DEAD BABIES! and the left side scream OMG THE RIGHT HAS GUNS! and we, collectively go OMG! and we argue and fight and post stupid memes on Facebook and we vote for the guy who says IM GONNA SAVE THE DEAD BABIES or ILL SAVE YOU FROM THE SCARY GUNS.

But wait a minute. Why are people having abortions? Why are people shooting each other? Cuz it's fun? If we made abortion and guns illegal would people be all "goddammit, I was gonna abort a baby and shoot a bitch today but I guess I'll stay home and crochet instead."

But politicians dont want us to think about that. They keep waving the shiny at us. They don't want us to think about the fact that the left simply doesn't like the people who want to own a lot of guns, so they try to control them. And the right doesn't like women, so they try to control them, too.

And NONE of them, right or left, want us to step back from the shiny and see the fact that there are no goddamn jobs. And that kids are graduating and can't fucking read. And that our health care system is beyond fucked up. That the people we elect are lining their pockets with money from the NRA, Monsanto, Nestle, big Pharma, and other corporations that care more about money than anything else*

So let's step back and stop fighting among each other about the guns and the babies and join together and say HEY ASSHOLES, WE'RE WATCHING! Let's fix THE PROBLEM instead of fighting about the symptoms. Ignore the shiny, guys.

(*I'm a business woman and I'm fond of profit. We havent' made a profit yet but I'm sure it'll feel pretty goddamn good. I have NO PROBLEM with a company tryna make a buck. Bring it! But stay the fuck out of politics, please.)

His Lordship, Sir Wrongington of Wrongsville

2013-04-11T13:51:00.000-05:00

In most relationships, the chick is usually right and the dude is usually wrong. Not ours. I fuck up a lot. Now when he fucks up, it's HUGE, but it's infrequent - so when the little silly fuck ups happen, I like to point them out. A lot. And document them. With photos.

We have an ongoing laundry issue where I don't do it. There are many reasons why - the first and foremost being I don't wanna. Add to that the fact that the laundry room is OUTSIDE in a creepy shack around the back of the house and the fact that I have to toddlers hell bent on destroying my house - I don't want to leave them alone to go do laundry in the creepy shack, and I don't want to take them with me, either. So... back with the "not doing it."

Him: Just leave them! They're not going to kill themselves in the two minutes you're out there.
Me: It's not them I'm worried about! It's the house!
Him: It'll be fine!

Okay then. Remember this.

Santa brought us an Xbox at Christmas and installed it on a tiny (low) table in front of the TV. I have suggested repeatedly that he move it, because the girls keep messing with it.

He says "Eventually".

Now.. in a perfect storm of WRONGNESS...

I went outside to move laundry and came back to the girls stuffing paper into the Xbox vent thingie. It was in there so far that I couldn't get it out, even with tweezers!!! So we were without Netflix till His Wrongness could get home and fix it.

I would end the story there except I'm too honest for my own damn good.

I told him about this post and he explained some blah blah blah shit about sensors and remotes and some other shit - and where the Xbox is now is the ONLY place it can be and still work, at least till we buy some new furniture. So he's not ENTIRELY wrong. But whatever. I like my version better, don't y'all?

How to be an asshole blogger

2013-04-09T13:03:00.002-05:00

If you spend any time in the blogosphere, you've probably seen one of the flood of "you're a terrible parent" blog posts out there. They get tons of traffic and that's the whole point of blogging, right? Traffic? Not to grow as a person, help other parents out, maybe carve out your own space in the world, or just vent. Nope, it's all about traffic and fuck any damage your post might do -- as long as the little blue bar on your stat counter goes higher and higher, right?

So since that's all we bloggers care about, I've compiled this how-to list on how to be a complete and total douchebag asshole blogger.

1. Take an extreme view, and stick to it.
Does your extreme view make sense? Fuck no. Doesn't have to! People will be so pissed off by the bullshit you're spewing, they'll share over and over and come in droves to comment! Traffic, baby! Is your extreme view dangerous? Could someone who doesn't realize what an asshole you are possibly be damaged by your post? TOO FUCKING BAD. Traffic, baby!

2. Tell other parents why they suck*
Insulting, belittling and chastising other parents for being human is a great way to drive traffic. Look! I just saw a mom check her iPhone while her kid was nearby! GET HER! That dad just promised his kid candy if she'd just STFU long enough for him to pay for the groceries and get out of the store. GET A ROPE! That mom just gave her kid a NON ORGANIC FUCKING APPLE! Somebody call CPS.
*bonus points if you don't actually have kids!

3. Tell other parents why YOU are the best parent ever.
Because your way is the only way. And every kid IN THE WORLD is exactly like your kid." They're all alike, ya know, and if you just do exactly what I do, then your kid will be as awesome as mine, and your life will be as awesome as mine!* "
*As awesome as the perfect shit I let you see on Facebook and my blog - not me drinking an entire bottle of wine after bedtime or eating a half pound box of Godiva while I cry in the shower. We don't talk about that.

4.Humble Brag.
Just don't. That's all.

5. Find another popular post and write a virulent post about how stupid it is*
Can't come up with a topic of your own? Ride those coattails, baby!!!! Maybe the original author of the hugely popular post will even rebutt your rebuttal and y'all can go back and forth for WEEKS and maybe even make it to HuffPo! Holy shit that would be AWESOME! Original, thought provoking content? Who needs that shit. (See point 1: TRAFFIC, BABY!)
*This post is a totally different animal. No really, it is! Shut up.

Now if you follow these five steps, you, too, can be well on your way to being a famous asshole blogger.

Congrats.

Think twice before you share...

2013-04-03T12:19:00.002-05:00

Have you seen those recipes going around Facebook lately? They say "Share to save this recipe to your stream!" Guess what folks - it's a scam. The more you share a page's post, the more Facebook likes them. They get a high rank in FB's algorithm and then they sell the page for a lot of money, after YOU'VE done their work for them.

Worst part? Those recipes? They come from Food Bloggers like me, who have their intellectual property stolen by these scam artists.

Think twice before you share these things.

For more info, check out THIS LINK.

I didn't need that pan anyway

2013-04-03T09:53:00.001-05:00

I figured I'd have something embarrassing to share with y'all eventually but I didn't think it's be this soon or this.... Dumb.

I'm sure no one will be shocked when I inform y'all that the drawer under the stove where I'm supposed to store my pans is busted. Because of that, I just leave all 5 cast iron pans and my enormous restaurant style wok on the stove. (Because the 5 steps to put them in the pan cabinet is just too damn far)

Well they were in my way last night when I was cooking supper so I shoved them all in the oven. I made a mental note not to use the oven, and continued to cook. I was making a potato dish on the stove and as I cooked, I thought "this needs a bread crumb topping!"

I sprinkled bread crumbs on top... And cranked the oven to 450 to brown the top. This was less than 5 minutes after my "mental note".

After a minute or two a noxious smell and black smoke started pouring out of the oven. My oven isn't that clean so I kind of assumed it was some pie crust or a noodle being cremated - so when I opened it to stick the casserole in, and black smoke rolled out and my eyes started burning and I almost dropped the pan during a coughing fit, I knew it wasn't a noodle.

The varnish on the handle of the wok apparently is NOT oven safe. I grabbed a couple hot pads and grabbed the handle with one and the metal bowl part with the other and went to set them it on a wooden cutting board on the counter. As I did, I turned away to put the hot pads away and turn the kitchen fan on, my hand moved off the pan but the hot pad didn't. Apparently the hot, melty varnish was very sticky, and my hotpad was glued to it. FOREVER.

Here's the deal though - I love my wok, and I hate that hotpad, so I'm just going to use it as-is. And why not? I'll always know where my hotpad is, right?!

My new project and my first ever appearance!

2013-03-28T12:57:00.006-05:00

I've been working like mad on a new project with my sweet friend Amanda from Keep It Complicated - it's a new website called Fakoodle! It's an online marketplace for Austin moms - think Etsy meets Pinterest meets Craig's List (only less pervy).

I'm crazy excited about it and super busy! We've scheduled our big launch around The Austin Kids Fest and Baby Expo on April 6-7 - it's going to be so cool! We have a booth there and the event looks like it's going to be awesome!

There's going to be tons of fun stuff for kids, like pony rides, a rock wall, School of Rock performances, and a bunch of other stuff - and then for grown ups, all kinds of vendors, a chance to meet local pediatricians, and chair massages!

The best part? Kids get in free! It's only $5 for adults, and you can buy tickets here!

Don't miss out - this is going to be THE kids event of the spring! Plus you'll get to meet me and Amanda! I mean, come on! What's cooler than that? :)

OMG HI Y'ALL!

2013-03-21T10:13:00.001-05:00

Hey y'all! Y'all remember me? I used to write words here on this lil blog. Then fucking SXSW happened. Big Guy makes movies - did y'all know that? Which means every goddamn spring, he takes a week off work and spends an hour on his beard every day and goes and watches movies with hipsters and Hollywood types for 15 hours a day for 10 days. This year, he spent most of the week at his brother's apartment in Austin, rather than driving an hour to and from home every day - while I appreciated the gas savings, it basically meant that I was single-mom-ing it for a week.

I'm no military wife at home pining away for her man while he's in Afghanistan for a year or anything - I don't expect sympathy - but goddamn that sucked. When he's home, he works a lot but he's still here SOME. Plus it's a little easier to take him being gone when he's at WORK and not off having FUN, ya know? Is that bitchy? I don't really care, I'm just curious.

So that's over and I'm back with y'all. I know you missed me. To be honest, not much cooking happened this week so I don't have any disasters to tell y'all about it - but don't worry, I'm trying three new recipes this week, I'm sure I'll fuck at least one of them up.

So here - have some funny pictures.

Wordless Wednesday -Minion Turns Two

2013-03-13T11:37:00.001-05:00

FIRED rice.

2013-03-07T15:29:00.003-06:00

Last week I decided to make fried rice. I love fried rice but don't get consistent results - sometimes it's great, some times it's a gluey mess. All day I told myself "Next time you sit at the computer, look up a good fried rice YouTube video! Let's do this right!" but I kept forgetting.

So dinner time rolled around and I threw the wok on the stove and put some oil in the pan and then, decided to look up a video on my phone and watch it. Cuz I'm a fucking dumbass.

So with the stove on high, oil in the pan, I searched "Fried rice tutorail" on youtube, rejected a few, then picked this one... and watched it.

It's a simple video but... while i was watching it, the oil in the pan overheated. And uh... caught fire. Yes. This is the FIFTH time I have set our ELECTRIC stove on fire. This takes talent, folks. Skill, even.

So I yelled for help and Big Guy put the fire out with baking soda. (Remind me to buy more of that shit btw, it's handy to have around!) I, for once, did NOT stop to take a pic before putting the fire out - it was BIG and I was scared. Here's a pic of the "after" though..

The second one is blurry, but you can see exactly how smokey it is... The good news is, after I got it all cleaned up, the You Tube video really helped and I made the best fried rice ever!

So here's my cooking tip of the day... watch your YouTube videos before you start cooking, not while!

Austin City Guide 2013 - Chinese

2013-03-01T23:14:00.001-06:00

As a member of the Austin Food Blogger Alliance, I was invited to join in the Austin City Guide - a chance to write about the best food in Austin. Hell yeah, sign me up. I picked Chinese ... cuz hello... Chinese food is the best. So this is my take on the best Chinese in Austin.

Din Ho - This place has been on the list for a few years now. It's in a seedy strip center - like everything awesome - and it is really worth the trip. They offer Beijing Duck, live Lobster, and some very traditional meals - but they also have more familiar dishes as well, like Beef with Garlic sauce (my fave!) and sesame chicken. The coolest part, for me - we ordered egg drop soup and got a GIANT bowl - probably enough for 4 people. There were just two of us but we still got it handled, don't worry.

Chinatown - this place might not be "foodie" enough for this crowd but I'm a native Austinite and this was my FAVORITE when I was a kid, so it's going on my list.

T&S Chinese* - I have not been here, but when you ask anyone for the best Chinese in town, 3 out of 4 people will say T&S. It's on my list to check it out... *They don't appear to have a website, so this is a link to their Yelp page.

Cedar Park/Leander Options:

Hunan Chef - This is another little dive of a place in a strip center and the service is awesome and the food is great. It's hard to find decent Asian food in the 'burbs but Hunan Chef is great. I highly recommend the beef with garlic sauce - it's my go-to! Egg rolls were delicious and super crispy. I have simple needs.

Hot Wok - This is next door to the Randall's in Cedar Park - this isn't the most authentic place in town but the food is delicious, the staff is friendly, and it's cheap. Can you beat that? No. Go check it out!

Buffet

Buffet Palace - THE place for buffet. I live north of Leander and I will drive down to Westgate to enjoy the buffet here. Don't bother with the others, in my opinion.

Foodie Friend Recommendations

Chen's Noodle House
Szechuan House
Asia Cafe

What's YOUR favorite Chinese restaurant in Austin?

ENJOY!!

Mamavation Monday meets Wordless Wednesday

2013-02-27T16:34:00.002-06:00

2006

2013

Posy Lane Review - Toddler Backpack

2013-02-21T10:56:00.003-06:00

I heard about Posy Lane through a friend and LOVED their stuff, so I was super excited to review it. They're a local Texas vendor, and they're a mom and dad, so they know what moms and dads want and need.

They've got just about anything your kiddo could need - backpacks, nap mats, aprons, hats, water bottles, even sunglasses, all customized with your kiddo's name or whatever message you want!

I got Minion a backpack - the two big kids have backpacks, and now that she's having sleepovers with Nana, we decided she needed one too. They had so many styles of toddler backpacks to choose from, it was kinda hard. In the end I picked a cammo backpack, and had them embroider her name in pink girly font on it. It came out super cute and she LOVED it.

See how happy she is?!? The service was fast and the quality is great - she uses it for everything and it's very sturdy!

I really recommend these guys and we've already picked out some items for the kids Christmas gifts next year!

Check out Posy Lane for all kinds of customized gifts!

Mighty Huntress I'm Not...

2013-02-21T09:25:00.002-06:00

Big Guy got a new bow for ... well for Tax Refund Day, honestly, and he's been practicing a lot with it. He had it out in the yard and I went out to do laundry, and I was eyeballing it.

"I can totally do that!" I thought.

So I asked him if I could try. He chuckled and said "Suuuuuure" and strapped me in to some very UNfashionable protective gear, showed me how to hold it, stepped back and took out his phone.

Yeah... I couldn't pull it back at all. He's got it set at 60 lbs - which means pulling it back is like lifting a 60 lb weight. In my defense, I'm lefthanded and this is a bow for righties.

He put the phone down and came over and "cocked" it for me - drew the string - and once it passes a certain point, it only takes 12 lbs to hold it, so I figured he could draw it for me, then I could fire.

Nope. I couldn't even hold it once it was drawn! Shit got dangerous after that and he took it away - and showed me how it's done:

Now I'm a pretty fair shot with a shotgun so I'm not totally helpless, but this was a little disheartening. Not that I plan on pulling out a bow if bad guys try to bust into the house or anything... but still. I should probably lift some weights or something. You'd think hauling around two toddlers all day would make me She-Hulk, but I always lift them with my left arm. I'm like that dude from Lady in the Water!

Maybe I'll try to work the ol' right arm and when I'm stronger, try again. Maybe not though... :)

Mamavation Monday - On Wednesday.

2013-02-20T07:00:00.000-06:00

Cuz I'm a rebel, that's why!

Actually, Monday was President's Day and it threw my whole damn week off. At least that's this week's excuse.

I've been struggling with self-love,(stop, pervert.) and haven't gotten very far in my struggle to lose weight. I just don't take care of myself. I'm always last on the list. So these past few weeks I've been really listening to the voice in my head and hearing how bitchy that voice really is. So I'm trying to change the way I talk to myself, and investing in ME a little. I'm pretty awesome just the way I am, and I don't have to lose 30 lbs to be adorable and awesome. Those 30 lbs gone would maybe make me EXTRA adorable... and that would be great, but I'm good now. And I have to embrace that before I can make the effort to make some improvements. Like would spend a ton of money improving a busted ass trailer? You have to see some beauty in the bones of a house to want to spend the time and money to fix it up, right? So I'm finding the beauty in the bones of ME.

I dyed my hair a bold-ass shade of red - because Donna Noble is my favorite Doctor Who companion and I wanted to have bad ass Donna hair.

I took bubble baths.

I hung out with my girlfriends.

I got a cool new shirt that makes my boobs looks awesome.

I shaved my legs and wore my favorite skirt.

And you know what? It's working. My house is, oddly, cleaner than it's ever been. I'm moving around a ton more just in my day-to-day crap, and I'm eating when I'm hungry, and then I eat good stuff. I like this. This is working for me.

I'm staying away from the scale and I'm okay with that right now. I just gotta be me, and not a number for a little bit.

How do you love yourself? (I said STOP, perverts! ;) Jeez!)

Carbonara Casserole - A Hot Mess of Awesome

2013-02-13T09:06:00.000-06:00

There are a lot of benefits to casseroles. They can be quick, easy and healthy. This is none of those. However, it is ridiculously frickin' delicious. It's not terribly hard, but honestly, if you're going to make it, go ahead do like I do lasagna or enchiladas - might as well make two pans and freeze one. I'm going to give you the recipe for one pan but you'll see it's easily doubled.

Chicken Carbonara Casserole
Serves 4

1/2 lb bacon slices, diced
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cubed into 1/2 inch bites
salt and pepper and garlic powder to taste

1 lb small pasta (shells, rotini, macaroni, etc)
1 jar good alfredo sauce
2 eggs
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

Preheat the oven to 400.

Bring a pot of salted water to boil to cook the pasta.

Season the chicken cubes to taste and set aside. Cook the bacon in a skillet for a minute or two, and whne some fat begins to render, add the seasoned chicken and cook until the bacon is crisp and the chicken is cooked through.

Meanwhile, cook the pasta to al dente and drain, set aside.

In a LARGE bowl, add 2 eggs and the Alfredo sauce. Beat the eggs into the sauce, and then add about 1/4 of the hot pasta and stir. Continue to add the hot pasta to the sauce a quarter at a time until it's all added.** When the chicken and bacon are cooked through, removed them from the skillet and to a paper towel to drain off fat. Add the meat to the pasta/sauce mixture. Combine well and add to an oven safe casserole dish or lasagna pan. Top with Parmesan and bake for 15-20 minutes. You can put it under the broiler for a minute or two for a crispy top.

**This is an important step! If you add the hot pasta all at once to the sauce, the heat from the pasta will cook the eggs instantly, giving you alfredo scrambled eggs. This is not what we want! Adding the pasta in increments slowly brings the temperature of the eggs up without cooking them. This is called tempering!

Jumbo Fortune Cookie Giveaway

2013-02-07T16:11:00.000-06:00

I'm super excited about this giveaway! Gourmet Cookie Bouquets is giving away a jumbo fortune cookie and I get to help! What is a jumbo fortune cookie, you ask?

Aren't they cute? (Click on the picture to go to a page displaying all the styles and flavors available!)

These are giant vanilla cookies, shaped by hand, and then dipped in 3 kinds of chocolate, or strawberry or peanut butter confection, then decorated with sprinkles and other fun stuff - for any occasion!

The best part? Inside each cookie, they stick a giant fortune - and you can customize it! I wonder if they'd make a dirty one for me... ya think? ;)

I know you want one... how do you win? Well, they're giving away THREE so you have a pretty good chance to win!

Here are the rules:

Use the rafflecopter widget below to enter the giveaway. The mandatory entry is commenting on this post, but once that entry is completed, various other entry options will become available. Don't cheat. We'll know, and you won't win.
Giveaway sweepstakes is open to all residents of the lower 48 and only to those 18 or older!
Three winners will be chosen randomly.
Heads up: the cookies sold along with a plush bear are not eligible prizes for this giveaway.
Winners will be notified via e-mail so make sure you provide the correct address. Winners must respond within three days of being contacted. If you do not respond within that period, another replacement winner will be chosen.
Giveaway ends at midnight EST on February 17, 2013. The sweepstakes winners will be announced by February 21, 2013.

Got all that? Sure ya do! Here's the widget!

a Rafflecopter giveaway