Reflections on Becoming

2 Years Later

2012-02-13T06:30:00.000-05:00

Today marks 2 years that our oldest adopted daughter has been home. I still can’t get over how much has changed in only 2 years time. I have to say it feels a lot longer than 2 years ago that we first met and I brought her home. Life has been very full, exciting, challenging, and quite busy.

I still can’t get over how different we both look!!! This was our 4th day together in Ethiopia:

This photo was taken when she just arrived home in Feb 2010…

This was taken last year on her 1st Gotcha Day…

The next series of photos were taken yesterday to make sure we didn’t miss her official special day. She has been counting down to it for weeks. Which is a blessing on so many levels. Not only the outside has changed, but from the inside as well – day by day her heart grows to trust, soften, and let her guard down. To us and the ONE who brought her here, God! Major praise all around!

Lots of things are new too: braces off, new glasses, and she has grown another 3”.

Adopting an older child has taught me so much about myself. It has caused me to value the smallest achievements and bonding. I have learned how to parent in ways I never thought I would be willing to even try. I have learned that love is so much more than 3 words. I have learned that God’s grace is more than enough and He will pour it out in abundance when I am about to sink and reach up for His hand. I have learned that time does heal all wounds. I have learned that the past DOES NOT define your present or future unless you let it. I have learned that no matter how hard you think you have it, someone has/had it worse. I have learned that some things will never change and learning to be OK with that fact, actually changes you being OK with what will remain the same. I have learned that laughter is the best medicine. I have learned that taking life one day at a time, is really the best way to live. Tomorrow will be here soon enough, yesterday is gone, and today is all I got! I have learned that when I want to give up hope, God will find a way to remind me, it is useless to hope in anything but Him. I have learned that love truly covers a multitude of sins and casts out all fear.

Because His love never fails. God’s love softens the hardest of hearts and is able to change them one step of faith at a time. I have learned more in two years than I have in almost 40+ years on this earth. God used all that we endured for His glory and our good. Not one moment was wasted, nothing escaped His hands, and all of it was perfectly timed, in His perfect ways. I don’t think I would ever volunteer my heart for this journey knowing what I know now. But I know now, that I would never be the woman I am if it were not for my willingness to say, “YES, GOD!” even when it made absolutely no sense to anyone around me. Nor does it make sense today when I try to go over in my mind the road that led me here right now. But that is the beauty of who our God is – He took me where I never imagined I would go, or agree to, so that I could see even in the darkest of days, His light would never burn out, and He would never give up on me. That is the God, I have come to know in the last two years.

It might be worth your while to get to know Him too. You will be surprised where He leads you…because He has a good plan for your life. A plan so much greater than yours will ever be. The question is:

Do you trust God enough, to say, “YES, LORD…lead and I will follow.”?

I am not sure what the weather is like around you, but when we went outside for our very QUICK photo session, it was 22 degrees!!!! That my friends is what I call “polar bear weather”. I for one am NOT a polar bear. Brrrrrrrr! This is what I looked like going outside. HA!

Be Still SONday

2012-02-12T07:26:00.001-05:00

Oh how I long to rest deeply in the peace of the Lord. The choice is mine.

The sweetness of His love, nothing can touch.

The joy of the Lord, truly is my strength.

This week has left me feeling a greater need for Him and His grace.

I am thankful for the way He has met me in the dark moments and guided me to see the truth when my heart ached for answers.

Our God, is so incredibly patient with us. His love comes softly and yet, will sweep you completely off your feet.

There is freedom in surrender.

I woke up today knowing I must surrender more of myself, so that the interior freedom I long for will be mine in all areas of my life.

I must step out in faith during the trials and put my heart fully into the hands of the ONE who created me.

I must step out in faith during the days I wish to run and hide, and allow Him to lead me right through the pain.

I will step out in faith.

Because He is faithful.

God, has never let me down.

He promises to be our all in all.

And He is.

We simply must trust in that and let God, be God.

So today, I will be praying that I will surrender the areas in my heart that He has shown me still don’t belong to Him, and the areas of my life that I have not given Him, that He has been asking me to lay at His feet.

One thing to keep in mind as you step out in faith…

BECAUSE WITH GOD….

Listen and praise Him with me…

Choices

2012-02-09T20:25:00.001-05:00

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” Deuteronomy 30:19

Day after day, we make choices.

Those choices effect what comes our way tomorrow.

Sometimes there is immediate consequences for our choices.

Other times it may takes weeks, months, or years.

No matter how long it takes, we all reap what we sow.

Reaping and sowing is something none of us can escape.

When we make poor choices the reaping is often tough to accept, and usually isn’t fun to go through.

I walked away from writing this post to eat dinner with the children and do our nightly bible study using Jesus Wants All of Me (based on the classic devotional by Oswald Chambers) My Utmost for His Highest. February 9th is title Tired Times: it talks about how it is hard to make the right choices all of the time and how children get tired of doing the right thing all of the time. Yet, Jesus is right there to help them when they are struggling to make the right choice.

This little story (they are about three sentences tops) opens the door for me to teach them a practical lesson every night. Tonight we discussed sowing and reaping. That every single choice they make will either bring good or bad into their lives. I then reminded them of this lesson:

JOY = JESUS OTHERS YOU

Every choice we make must be put before Jesus. If you would not do it in front of Him or to Him, then you shouldn’t do or say it.

Every choice we make must be put before others. If anything we are going to say or do is going to hurt or stumble them, then we shouldn’t do or say it.

Every choice we make must be without causing us harm as well. For example, I told one of our children to walk up the path to school, that there was no rush, they were not late. The child chose to run and fell very hard and got hurt on their knee. This child paid the consequence immediately upon making the wrong choice. This child sees and feels the consequence for days after bad choice. It is a reminder that they should listen and not do what they want before thinking about the whether it is a good choice to make.

Life is really just that simple.

We complicate it. We mess up by overthinking things just as much as when we don’t think things through. God, gave us the ability to reason (think). It is the only thing that separates us from the animal kingdom. They act on instinct and desire only. We have the ability to think rationally and resist our desires. Unlike an animal who can’t stop themselves from overeating, we feel full and know we have had enough before making ourselves completely sick. Sometimes we are complete gluttons and act irrationally, making ourselves sick too. We can either live rationally or irrationally(faith vs. fear).

What drives your life? Faith or your passions? Faith or fear?

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. 1 John 2:16

You want joy in your life – follow the guidelines above. You will die to self and literally be following in the footsteps of our Savior.

You want peace, gentleness, kindness, hope, patience, goodness, and love in your life, then simple live the model Jesus has given us. Place all others before yourself. Love without hypocrisy. Don’t focus on what you can’t fix, or what is wrong in others. Focus on allowing God to change you. Then as you change others around you will too. You will begin to reap the goodness you are sowing.

Remember sin has a way of costing more than you imagined you would ever pay, taking you where you never intended to stray, keeping you longer than you intended to stay.

To God, you are special. I used to think yeah, yeah God loves me, but he loves everyone. To Him I’m just one of millions of Christians. God has his favorites and I’m not one of them. I thought I was being humble thinking this way. But what I was really doing was accusing God of imperfect love. In fact, I was calling God a liar. God says He loves you. So to believe that you are unimportant to God is to believe that God is a liar. There is nothing humble about calling the holy Lord a liar! It’s sin.

Friends I pray you are willing to live out His promises for you – simply lay down your lives (Romans 12:1-2 and Luke 9:23-25) and He will give you joy abundantly.

May this song bless you and remind you how ever present He is and hears the cries of our hearts!

Wonderful Word Wednesday

2012-02-08T18:36:00.001-05:00

Winter arrived today. Snow has been falling since 11am. I don’t really like it. I am not a winter girl at all. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy how beautiful everything looks all covered in white.

It reminds me that I am covered in His righteousness. Yet, I know that right underneath all that white is my stuff that needs His constant attention and cleaning.

It is the stuff that I would love to hide from the world, my loved ones, and myself most days. But it is there. All dirty and broken. Pieces of my heart that have rejected God’s plans for my life. The pieces of my heart that have resisted to simply trust in Him. The pieces that still allow fear to creep in. The pieces that get overwhelmed instead of resting in His perfect peace and grace.

Today, God spoke something pretty big to my heart. Yes, I have all that stuff inside – but He isn’t putting them in front of my face – saying, “look at the mess you keep making”, or “why aren’t you listening to Me?”, or “when will you learn to simply trust Me?”, or “when will you stop rejecting My way?” No, He keeps saying the same thing over and over to me, “I love you, just as you are. I love you, and long to care for you. I love you, and I will comfort you. I love you, and long to carry you through the trials ahead. I love you, and my grace is sufficient. I love you, and that will never change.”

That my friends is what He is saying to each of you.

Wishing you all a blessed night…

Wise Words

2012-02-07T14:31:00.001-05:00

I took today to just be still, to listen, to ponder, to think, and to take these wise words to heart!

NOTE TO SELF – Leave all of my worries at the foot of the cross!

The next two compliment my post on acceptance…

Look back only to see how far God has brought you.

Look back only to see how faithful He has been.

Look back only to see how His plans for your life were way better than your own.

Don’t give up on God, He will never give up on you. He will always be right there to guide you through any trial He has allowed in your life. Our greatest growth comes from our greatest need of Him. Thank Him and praise Him for the trials He is asking you to trust Him through. Thank Him for the hard days – because those are the ones where your heart is cleansed of self and filled with GRACE, HOPE, PEACE, JOY, and LOVE! An endless supply given to us freely as we come to Him – seeking, asking and knocking upon His door for all of our needs to be met.

Our greatest victory is when we stop resisting the suffering and trust in God no matter what we face. Peace that surpasses all understanding only comes from a yielded heart and life. Fully reliant on God’s grace, power, and love.

Prayer changes everything – us first and then how we view our lives, those we love, and those we struggle to embrace.

Don’t resist His best for you – what awaits you on the other side of suffering may be what you have been praying for all of your life. Don’t lose hope. Keep pressing in and on, God will be there every step of the way.

Thankful for another day to meditate upon His truths, and love for me. How about you?

I Need You…

2012-02-06T16:30:00.001-05:00

Today, is my birthday and instead of desiring gifts or special treatment. I literally spent the entire day focused on God’s gifts in my life.

Why am I doing that?

Because as you have been reading, I need to accept every area of my life and see all of it as a blessing. Every child (the hurt ones and those who struggle from things that have nothing to do with me) is a blessing. Every struggle is an opportunity to draw me closer to God, strengthen my faith and allows me to experience His peace that surpasses all understanding.

I can’t stop thinking about the quote I shared and how “our greatest struggles are from the struggles we reject.”

Nor, can I stop thinking about the awesome love God has for each of us. His desire is to be our all in all and fill us with grace during every trial – more than we could ask or dare imagine. His grace is sufficient for all our needs. No burden is too big, or too hard for Him to care for.

As I drove to pick up the children from school, I became very aware of my need for Him today. I turned off the music and began to pray. I couldn’t find the words at first, but slowly they fell from my lips and so did many tears from my eyes. This burning desire to trust Him, know Him, love Him, obey Him, and fall humbly before Him, grows more and more each day!

I am pleading with God for your hearts to desire Him in a new way as well.

I turned back on the music and this was the song playing…

I needed this song today. I am sure many of you do as well. Sit friends and allow it to minister to your heart. I am sending you all my love, hugs and thank you for the beautiful birthday wishes. I am thankful for each of you and how we can share our desperate hearts for Him here.

Be Still SONday–Acceptance

2012-02-05T00:28:00.001-05:00

Acceptance: [noun]

/akˈseptəns/

The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.

I spent almost the last 24 hours (I did sleep some) pondering this word and its truest meaning.

I’m looking at it from God’s perspective.

Which meant I began to ask myself some really tough questions.

Am I content with the season God has me in?

Am I willing to do what He asks even when I can’t see the good in it?

Am I willing to push through my stuff to do what is right?

Am I willing to desire God’s way, even when I don’t like how things are going?

Am I willing to keep parenting His way, even when I see absolutely no fruit in several of our children?

Am I willing to love even when the people in my life are acting completely unlovable?

Am I willing to rejoice in my sufferings?

Am I will to accept this life and live it all unto the glory of God?

My answers as you can imagine were not what I would like to say I hoped they would be. When I asked God to reveal the places in my heart that are holding me back from the one thing I desire most, all of this was shown to me. He is pursuing me at the same rate that I am pursuing Him – but in HIS way that is so much greater, stronger, purer, holier, and AWESOME! I am NO match for His abundant love for me. Nor can I fight against it expecting to win. Nor do I want to.

The quote I shared here – and the pages following it in Interior Freedom are WRECKING ME! I’m coming to a new end of myself. I didn’t know it was possible to feel this way and still have hope. The tears are falling faster than I can wipe them as I type this post. I ache for myself and each of you reading this. Because interior freedom can be ours – peace that doesn’t fade even when our trials are trying to crush us.

The good news is that it already is ours when we give our lives over to God. We just have to grab hold of His peace and never let go.

The bad news is this:

It is us who cause our peace to wax and wane. It is us who cause our joy to slip away. It is us who cause our hope to be dashed. It is us who lose the ability to hear His still small voice. It is us who walk away from the greatest love we will ever know. It is us who are fooled into thinking we can live without Him in ever detail of our lives. It is us who are fooled into believing that the only way to true happiness is through our creating it. It is us who won’t accept Your way, truth, and life. It is us who create greater suffering in our lives, because we won’t accept the suffering Your way. It is us who don’t believe Your grace is enough.

Now back to the ~~good~~ AWESOME news - God, has not changed. God, will not change. God, will not give up on us. God, will never leave us or forsake us. God, will never stop pursuing us. God, will never stop loving us.

God, will never stop waiting for us to accept things His way. It all comes down to us making a choice – to accept each day as it comes or fight against it, trying to find a way around it, over it or under it. Even if you find a way to escape it now, you will have to face it somewhere down the road. A lesson is not over until it is fully learned where it counts – in the depth of our hearts – fully and completely surrendered to His will for our lives. God’s love for us doesn’t allow us to miss a lesson before it has been fully learned. He is patient and long suffering to wait for us to see what He is trying to show us. He will wait until we are willing to go through the test and walk away from it with all that He has for us to learn.

When we lay down our boxing gloves and look up to God, to fight the battles placed before us, we can have assurance that the battles will be won – in His perfect timing and the best way for us to grow in the grace and knowledge of His Son, and for Him to receive all the glory along the way.

I want nothing more than to accept every detail of my life with grace and to truly say without hesitation, “Your way Lord, right away, all the way, every day”, with a humble heart and joy from the depth of my heart…so steady because I know that I know that I know, He is worthy of nothing less.

Praying for each of you today and trusting God to reveal all the areas of your life that need your acceptance, so His peace and joy can be your strength to carry you through every moment in this life!

One Desire

2012-02-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

What is your one desire?

Have you given that much thought yet this year?

What is your one desire for 2012?

What do you hope to accomplish this year spiritually, physically, and emotionally?

What is your one desire for yourself, as a child of the Most High God?

I have been giving this a ton of thought lately – because in 2011, I truly believe I met my goal to obey God and trust in Him more than I had the year before.

Yet, I fell short in so many areas around obedience and trust – that I want to focus on allowing God to rule those areas and shine His light into others that I have yet to recognize as a stumbling block in my walk with Him.

I want to know the Truth, the Way, and the Life, – the doorway to FREEDOM - in 2012. Not mere head knowledge, because that has yet to prove itself enough. I want my heart to be saturated to the point of overflowing to every fiber of my being that His grace is most sufficient for me.

I desire to be radically changed from the inside out as I fully surrender to His will and rejoice in every detail of my life – knowing full well that His love will hold me together no matter what, and His grace will meet my ever need.

I leave you with this thought that has been keeping me very busy for the last 24 hours:

“The most painful suffering is the suffering we reject.” Jacques Philippe

Love Came Down

2012-02-02T09:48:00.001-05:00

WOW! Is all I can say about how my heart is feeling at the moment as I continue to pursue God and His love for me.

This morning I loaded a new CD into my car’s player and was so touched by every word. Most of you know Kari Jobe is my absolute favorite recording artist and when I want to be ushered to the throne room, I listen to her. Sometimes over and over and over and over again. There is nothing like being swept away into pure worship with her leading me.

Well, she did it again but with a whole new sound and I love this CD so much already.

This song has such a powerful meaning and I pray it blesses you richly today. God so desires to be your all in all and LOVE YOU in ways no one else ever can or will. Let go and cling to His love for you. It will not disappoint you.

LOVE CAME DOWN by Kari Jobe

If my heart is overwhelmed
and I cannot hear Your voice
I'll hold on to what is true though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come
and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith I will believe

Pre-chorus:
I remind myself of all that You've done
And the life I have because Your Son

Chorus:
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am Yours I am forever Yours
When my heart is filled with hope
and every promise comes my way
When I feel Your hands of grace rest upon me
Staying desperate for You God,
Staying humbled at Your feet
I will lift these hands and praise I will believe

I am excited to share this amazing journey with all of you that I have embarked on with God. He has swept me away and fully blown me over with His love and grace. Please pray for me as I seek to articulate His love for us.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

2012 is going to be the year of freedom for me on every level and I am so excited to walk in the blessings of this amazing gift from God!!!!!

Wonderful Word Wednesday

2012-02-01T10:26:00.001-05:00

Well, hello February! It is amazing to be meeting you in this way…all warm and sunny. I am forever grateful you have arrived with such gentleness and pray you will allow me to play in your warmth a little longer. Sincerely, your almost birthday girl!

Now onto what is really on my mind…

Oh how I have much to share about this quote. I’m being touched to the core of my being as I read a book all about freedom and what it means to live a content life. Prepare your hearts to walk with me through this awesome revelation. It will surely take all that you have to resist the beauty that awaits you.

My deepest prayer for all of us is to live out the beautiful life we have been given in peace, joy, and LOVE. Love covers a multitude of sins and washes away things that try to hold us back from being all that we were created to be.

Blessed Wednesday precious friends!

Inside Freedom

2012-01-31T09:45:00.001-05:00

Church of Trees, Belgium

I could stare into this photo for hours. Look down the path, and the middle tree is a cross. Exactly the kind of tunnel vision we are to have through life. Putting blinders on to all the chaos around us and walk straight on the path set before us by God, to God.

I am on a new journey this year, to find and know peace from the depth of my soul. I want to stay in that place with Him no matter how hard the circumstances around me become or remain. I want to know Him intimately in a new way this year. I want all that I endured last year to have purpose in my life. I don’t want any of it to be forgotten either. I long to be changed from the inside out.

This year, I’m going to allow you to walk with me inside the places of my heart that have been forever changed, in hopes that you will join me in finding freedom.

I remember standing in my father-in-love’s room on Christmas Eve at the ER and thinking his words will live with me forever. “Even as bad as this situation is and as horrible as I feel, this day has been everything I want and wonderful.” He meant every single word. He loved his family with every fiber of his being, and we were all by his side. We shared stories of past Christmases and laughed even though we all just wanted to cry.

Someone said to me in the last few months, “You learn about living, by learning to die.”

That statement rings in my ears day after day.

Entering this world, you take your first breath. Leaving this world, you release final breath.

Don’t waste a single breath.

Live fully. Laugh often. Choose wisely. Think before you do or say anything. Love radically.

When any of my loved ones are stressed I remind them, to breathe in Jesus and breathe out fear, stress, worry, etc. Breathing is a proven way to slow down our pulse and help us to regain our ability to think rationally. Which means with reason. Without reason we are simply allowing our emotions to rule our actions. From personal experience that never turns out well.

Breathing in spiritual and emotional life versus death, is a choice.

Everything you do in this life is a choice.

You will either serve and love, God, or yourself.

You will either rely on God, or yourself.

You will either seek nothing but the truth or you will be fooled by the lies of this world.

“Give to us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to stand for—because unless we stand for something, we shall fall for anything.” Peter Marshall (1902–67) Senate chaplain, prayer offered at the opening of the session, April 18, 1947.

I remember the first time I heard that quote. My grandfather was weeks away from passing away. I was 14 yrs. old. I had no idea how much that quote would mean to me now, almost 30 years later.

Throughout my life I have tried out many ways. They all failed me. Except one.

Following God’s way has never failed. Not even once.

I won’t lie and say this journey of walking by faith has been easy. Daily I have to make hard choices. To die to self and put those in my life first, even when they make it next to impossible for me to desire that.

But God. My two favorite words. EVER!

Because I know without a shadow of a doubt, that without Him, my life would be empty.

I never would have found the peace I have it were not for God’s mercy, grace, and love.

God makes a promise to all of us, that His peace will be ours when we trust in Him, think about Him, seek Him, pray to Him, believe upon Him, and rely on Him.

No matter what you have faced or will face, God will be there to offer you His peace. We just need to reach out to Him and receive it. We need to let go of things being our way, and accept that His way is best for us. Trust me that was hard for me to do many times over the last 7.5 years. But once I stopped fighting Him in many areas of my life, I began to understanding this verse in action.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

I realize this post has gotten long, but I can’t end it without sharing Ephesians chapter 3

1 For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles— 2 if indeed you have heard of the stewardship of God’s grace which was given to me for you; 3 that by revelation there was made known to me the mystery, as I wrote before in brief. 4 By referring to this, when you read you can understand my insight into the mystery of Christ, 5 which in other generations was not made known to the sons of men, as it has now been revealed to His holy apostles and prophets in the Spirit; 6 to be specific, that the Gentiles are fellow heirs and fellow members of the body, and fellow partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel, 7 of which I was made a minister, according to the gift of God’s grace which was given to me according to the working of His power. 8 To me, the very least of all saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unfathomable riches of Christ, 9 and to bring to light what is the administration of the mystery which for ages has been hidden in God who created all things; 10 so that the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known through the church to the rulers and the authorities in the heavenly places. 11 This was in accordance with the eternal purpose which He carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord, 12 in whom we have boldness and confident access through faith in Him. 13 Therefore I ask you not to lose heart at my tribulations on your behalf, for they are your glory.

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, 21 to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

I pray you will take these truths to heart and allow them to become your meditation today and for weeks to come. There is no greater peace, than His. Nor a greater love.

Accountability

2012-01-30T13:41:00.001-05:00

I wrote a post on my health blog today with the same title.

This word has been in the forefront of my mind for days.

It is way too easy for us to go through life without being held accountable for our daily choices. Once you sin a few times and get away with it, you stop listening to that still small voice trying to get your attention, that your choices aren’t going to be good for you. You stop feeling guilty about those choices and begin to even convince yourself they are OK. Unless, you are courageous enough to call out for help and shine light into those areas of your life, those sins will become who you are.

I see this daily in my life. You don’t need to raise 9 children to understand what I just said. You just need to live amongst other humans.

It is with all humans. In all walks of life. In all areas of the world. None of us can boast in ourselves. We are all one step away or thought away from sinning against the ones we love and God. So before you begin to point the finger at others – remember there are four pointing right back at you.

How does this tie into accountability? Well, I believe it is so important to have spiritual mentors in our lives that can hold us accountable to what we profess we believe in. People who will support your journey to be all that, God, created you to be. People who will encourage you to push through the challenges you face in your life and won’t let you get away with excuses for not making the necessary changes needed along the way. People who will challenge you to walk closer with God, and step further away from the mold this world has tried to place you in. People who will encourage you to always choose what is right, over what is easy. People who will stand for you and with you when the world is against you. People who will not be afraid of all the ways you love God. People who will not be ashamed of your beliefs and will never put you down for choosing His way over your own way. People who agree that the only standard we should live to meet is God’s – even if they seem crazy to the world around us. People who will never let you get away with something in fear of your rejection of the truth. People who will hold you to the truth. People who will speak truth into your life in love and with grace. People who will be there when your life is going great and when life is filled with sorrow. People who are OK with your success, as well as, your failures. People who will love you during the times you feel most unlovable. People who won’t judge you. People who will honor you and keep you honest. People who will allow you to honest and not pretend that life is OK, that won’t say your faith is weak for having a hard time during a trial, but will stand by your side and encourage you through it!

That is my definition of a true friend and spiritual mentor. Finding them is worth the time it takes to wait for God to bring them into your life. They are worth everything…because we all need to be held accountable to meet the goals we set before us and the ultimate goal of running the race towards Christ Jesus.

Those who don’t hold you accountable, aren’t really your true friends. Not my definition, we are warned throughout the bible to be careful who we choose to spend our time from, who we listen to and where we take our advice. Heed that warning well and you will be blessed with true friends who indeed love you enough to hold you accountable!

I’m beyond thankful that this past year God brought several of these special people into my life. I know they are here for me and our family. I have been blessed with several friends along the way that have treated me this way. The ones who didn’t and couldn’t I now pray for. I see them through a new set of eyes and encourage you to do the same. They are just like you and need someone to love them too.

We all need accountability in our lives. It is what keeps us walking on the straight path, the good path, and the righteous path; to live out The WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE!

My hope is that I can be called this kind of mentor and friend. Not all, but to those who God, has given to me. I’m thankful for every opportunity I have to share His love, grace and truths with each of you. I love you. You all help me stick to what I know is truth and to live by it! Never stop being my eyes, ears, hands and feet. I depend on you for keeping me accountable.

Be Still SONday

2012-01-29T06:00:00.000-05:00

Mold me.

Heal me.

Guide me.

Build me.

Strengthen me.

Teach me.

Hold me.

Protect me.

Show me.

Speak to me.

Walk with me.

Go before me.

Know me.

Break me.

Love me.

Rule my heart and life.

Your way.

Today, I ask you to truly allow God to search your heart and show you all the areas in your life where you are not letting, God, be God. Pray each statement above and before you say them, add “God…”.

God, make me the person You meant me to be. Help me to be still, quiet, hushed and humbled in Your presence, as You open Yourself up to me in a clearer, richer, and deeper way.

God, be me all in all.

Walking with you to the depth of His love today.

Pass or Fail

2012-01-26T07:33:00.001-05:00

UGH – two words I never liked waiting to hear!

Pass – always brings about joy, thankfulness, and relief!

Fail – always makes us regret, feel inadequate, stressed, angry, disappointed, and the list goes on!

Unlike most tests in life, where you don’t get a chance to try again, and do it better…God, gives us that opportunity every single day that we wake up.

The beauty is that God allows our lives to be a test. A daily test if you will. All day, every day, we make choices that are pass/fail.

Pass – we trust, obey, and believe in God, put our hope in Him, love Him, seek Him, ask Him, run to Him first, pray to Him, and read His word.

Fail – we distrust, disobey, and disbelieve God, put our hope in man, money, and our success, love ourselves and others more than God, ask our friends and family for help before God, run away from God, we don’t pray, and never read a bible.

God, will continue to allow us to take the same test over and over again, until the lesson intended is learned. God’s love for us is that BIG and awesome, that He continues to work in us until the good works is finished. Which won’t happen this side of heaven. Some lessons we learn quick. While others take us years. Those are the ones that develop rich and lasting character in us. Those are the ones that help us to glorify God, and not ourselves.

God, uses trials to test our faith. Because we are to gain perseverance and the ability to endure through our suffering. We are to pray without ceasing and rejoicing. Why? or How?

Because our God, is able to do more than we will ever dare to imagine or ask.

All we must do is believe that and make our choices because of that truth (knowing).

That is faith.

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

Trusting in God, means not needing to know the end of our trials (testing), simply that it will end in His perfect timing and will. Believing that He is there every step of the way. Obeying even when it goes completely against what we want or hoped for.

2 Corinthians 4:18 “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Romans 8:24 “For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?”

Romans 5:1-5 “¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

James 1:4 “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

It’s up to you today, whether or not you will pass or fail. Both are a choice, moment by moment.

Wonderful Word Wednesday

2012-01-25T09:48:00.001-05:00

One word…trust.

Wishing you a blessed day. Praying you are willing to trust God more today than yesterday!

Reflections

2012-01-23T07:34:00.001-05:00

What a perfect name for my blog.

Especially after the week our family just went through together.

Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for the prayers, support and love. You have blessed us tremendously.

I have so much to share in the coming days.

I learned many lessons listening to everyone share how the loss of dad effected them.

I witnessed love in action. I heard truth spoken. I saw God glorified. I tasted the goodness of God even in the deepest of sorrow.

I was reminded life is so precious and delicate.

I felt other’s pain. I shared in their loss. I experienced the rawness and reality of how life keeps moving on, even after we are no longer here. I watched many struggle with the meaning of life, and the greatest question we ask ourselves, “why am I here?”

I felt God’s presence through it all.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

“But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” Psalm 59:16

“When I called, You answered me; You made me bold and stouthearted.” Psalm 138:3

“Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights. For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.” Habakkuk 3:18-19

“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. Selah” Psalm 62:8

Rest in Peace ♥ Dad ♥

2012-01-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, our beloved father, grandfather and most importantly amazing husband to my mother-in-love passed away. He was surrounded by so much love his last three weeks and cherished every moment with his family. He will always be remembered for the love he gave so selflessly! We will miss you dad and you will never be forgotten!

I have learned so much going through this journey with my in-loves – lessons that will live me for the rest of my life, and passed onto our children. Love is a verb! They loved fully and lived every moment together sharing it with all those in their lives. “I love you.” Is so much deeper than three words because of them and their example. Live today to the fullest and love deeply. You will never regret loving more!!!! Sow love and you will reap it tenfold. You will be a blessing and be blessed. Love never fails.

Over the last 12 weeks I have found comfort in these two songs - may they comfort you too…

Please keep our family in your prayers as we go through the next few days and weeks to come. Thank you.

Intricate Details

2012-01-16T08:13:00.001-05:00

I never noticed the amazing details inside a dandelion until this past summer. I spent days photographing them. Each day I found something new to admire and capture.

God, has always used nature (His creation) to speak to the heart of man. It’s sheer beauty, majesty and power, cause us to think about the Creator of all things and His love for us.

As I mentioned the other day, God, has perfect precision. Not one detail in our lives goes unnoticed by Him. Not one detail in our lives is without His seal of approval. Yes, even the trials are approved by God. Because He allows them for our good and His glory. Each trial is a tool to cleanse of us all unrighteousness. Each trial is perfectly suited just for us. It’s timing is precise and perfect. It’s length is precise and perfect.

Each trial is the tool in God’s hand to humble us, guide us, strengthen us, build up our faith, help us be more courageous, or wise, discerning, understanding, patient, compassionate, and loving.

Every detail of our lives is precisely and perfectly planned by the One and Only living God. Nothing goes unnoticed by Him. Not your choices. Not your hopes and dreams. Not your sins. Not your obedience to Him. Not your trust in Him or the world. Not your desire to live without Him ruling your life. Not your desire to submit fully and completely no matter how hard or how much it hurts. He sees the motives of our hearts. He knows the thoughts we think, even when we never speak them. He is patiently waiting for us to long for Him and to know Him, more than we do everything else in this life.

You mean more to Him than anything else He created. More to Him than all of your faults and mistakes. You are worth everything to Him. He put aside everything for you. Because He loves you, with an everlasting love. He knows the intricate details of your life. He will continue to work in your life to help you become all that He created you to be. The choice is up to you…"Yes, God, Your way, all the way, everyday, right away!” or “I’m doing it on my own, my way.”

Take one step towards God today, and He will take a thousand towards you. Simply reach out your hand and He will grab ahold of it. Turn your face up to Him and He will shine upon it. Listen for His voice and He will speak to you. Look for Him and He will be found. Seek to Him and He will reveal Himself to you. Taste the goodness of the Lord and He will satisfy your thirst and hunger like nothing else can. Open your heart to Him and He will fill it with a peace that surpasses all understanding, an everlasting joy, hope and love. His grace will abound in your life and will empower you to do things, you thought were impossible to conquer.

Be Still SONday - Grace

2012-01-15T06:00:00.000-05:00

I remember the very first time I heard this song and what it did to me.

I was wrecked right there. Instantly.

I could not hold back the tears. It crushed me with it’s power of His love.

My heart was overwhelmed and I couldn’t even speak. I played the song over and over again until the tears stopped flowing. My lips were taken over by praise.

If you were driving next to me that day. Sorry. I’m sure I worried you. But you can rest assured I was fine. I was being redeemed by His love and grace.

To this day, this song washes me from the depth of my heart and fills me to overflowing with praises for the gift of His abundant grace!

You will never experience the peace of God – until you know the grace of God.

May today be your awakening and renewal of His abundant grace being poured into your lives!

Let the tears flow and trust that He is working deeply in your life. Oh how He loves you!

Beautiful and Majesty

2012-01-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

No words needed – simply listen…

Have a blessed weekend – all by His grace – all for His glory!

Be Lifted High

2012-01-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

I pray you read my post yesterday and allowed its truth to sink in deep to your heart.

May this song continue to minister to your heart and help you break free from the bondage of this world’s lies that we should be praised – for anything.

Allow yourself to be a tool in the Master’s hands today sweet friends – trust, obey, submit, humbleness – all by His grace for His glory!

Precision

2012-01-12T07:47:00.001-05:00

pre·ci·sion/priˈsiZHən/

Noun:

The quality, condition, or fact of being exact and accurate.
Marked by or adapted for accuracy and exactness: "a precision instrument".

Synonyms:

accuracy - exactness - exactitude - preciseness – nicety

Now, that we know the definition of the word – let’s talk about how it relates to God, and us.

First, God is precise in all He does. God, makes no mistakes. Not one. Ever!

God, perfectly and precisely formed each of us in our mother’s wombs. For a purpose.

God’s plans for each of us are perfect.

Yet, somewhere along the way – we begin to doubt HIS precision in guiding and leading us.

Because His plans don’t align with our own. So we blame God, instead of seeking God, and humbling ourselves to be sure what we desire matches with His for us. We stop thanking Him and praising Him for knowing what is best for us.

You see there is this amazing love story woven through every word He has spoken and written – one that promises all of us that whatever we need, no matter the circumstances, He is on our side! His grace is sufficiently given to us.

Let’s turn this story around a bit.

What about us? Why are we really here? How can God use us?

Like a precise tool in a Master’s hands. It is that simple.

Just like a surgeon must have the perfect tools to perform the delicate task at hand and work precisely. So are we in God’s hands.

The tool in a surgeon’s hands does not argue. Nor does it wiggle trying to get loose from his grip.

It was created for one purpose – to be used precisely and accurately to cut through tissue to take out what is not good, to heal what is broken and to fix what needs mending.

So are we to God.

The tool is not complimented after each surgery. Not one loved one walks past the surgeon to his tools, and thanks them. It has done nothing but filled it’s purpose – to be used precisely by the one using it.

And so it should be with us. We are the tools in which God has created to be used by the Master to shine light on what is not good, to heal what is broken, and to fix what needs mending. Not for our glory but His!

God created us to love. God created us to be loved by Him. God created us to be tools of love. God created us to use His love – NOT our own to do what ONLY He can.

Shine light on what is not good, to heal what is broken, and to fix what needs mending.

It is HIS perfect, precise, accurate, pure, holy, never-changing, un-ending, and abundant love that will do the work.

We simply need to yield, submit, and humble ourselves to be the tool in the Master’s hands.

Precision can’t happen with resistance. Nor can it be exact if we are trying to change the plans, the path and the way.

It can only happen when we are still, trusting and obeying the One who precisely created us for one purpose – to let His love in us and work through us.

It can only happen when you allow God, into your heart and life completely to precisely do the work in you that only He can do – to remove what is dark, broken and needs mending. He does it with such precision – you can rest assured your life will never be the same!

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony,” Colossians 3:12-14.

Pondering

2012-01-10T14:33:00.001-05:00

As I spend time putting together all that I want to share with you…my heart is singing the following songs – thought maybe you would enjoy them too!

Be encouraged today friends – you are NOT alone! God is right here and ready to carry your burdens. Cry out and let Him do what only He can!!!!! Rely on His resources not your own!

Be Still SONday

2012-01-08T09:11:00.001-05:00

Let’s continue from yesterday and shhhhhhhh, while we keep the truth as our focus…

We need to follow Him – NOT – ourselves! We need to listen to His voice – NOT – our own. We need to speak His truths – NOT – what we perceive as truth about ourselves or others. We need to become our own friend and see ourselves as He does – LOVED perfectly – not because of ourselves but because of HIS GREAT LOVE FOR US!!!!!

This is such great advice for all of us who have struggled or still struggle with NOT listening to the negative things we constantly try to tell ourselves…

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. Psalm 40:2

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9

I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Jeremiah 10:23

Remember that it all begins with living out Luke 9:23-25 and Romans 12:-12…follow Him with me friends – let’s run the race together, pressing on toward the goal of Christ Jesus! Leaving behind all that hinders us from knowing Him, and fully receiving His peace, joy, hope and love!

Never forget that He knows you intimately – everything about you – He will never leave you – nor forsake you, and that is a truth you can bet your life on!

Shhhhhhhh!

2012-01-06T09:10:00.001-05:00

I’m talking to you. Yes, you. The one who keeps beating you down and speaking lies into your life.

Shhhhhhhh!

Stop talking and begin listening. Spend time praying and listening to the answers He is whispering to your heart. Spend time reading about who He is and get to know your worth to Him. Fill your mind with His truths and the lies will become silent.

Shhhhhhh!

You have nothing to fear – but fear itself.

Never be afraid to come before God with your heart’s deepest worries. Never be afraid to tell Him how much you messed up and need Him. Never be afraid of what the world says about you and what you can’t do. Never let anyone limit all that God created you to be. Instead of fearing failure – fear never trying and living out your dreams! It is OK to try and miss the mark – NEVER stop trying to get it right.

Shhhhhh!

Be still. It is OK! He is for you! He is with you! He will give you all you need now! His grace is sufficient! He loves you! You are worth everything to God! There is nothing too big for Him!
As I begin 2012 with many new things to face – the one thing I made a promise to myself is to follow the above advice. I don’t want to be my worst enemy anymore. I realized that even after spending days, weeks and months focusing on speaking truth into my heart (here are a few posts to refresh your memory on how I got to here! #1 Listening, #2 I’ll call You, #3 Marriage and Intimacy Part II, #4 My Love – I feel the exact same way if not more a year later!!!) – that I let that slip and as I let it slip – my heart began to believe the lies spoken more than the truth again. It didn’t happen quickly. It was subtle. Just the way sin usually enters into our lives and homes. Subtly.

That all stopped the other day. God’s truth washed over me like a delicate rain shower and cleansed my mind, heart and soul – one drop at a time. Laughter took over and love came pouring out! You will see that it was through a child. Oh how I am blessed by the love of 9 children. God uses them daily to remind me to be like them when I come to Him. Have faith like a child and enjoy walking through life with Him! Just like they grab for my hand without thinking about it – I am to do the same with my heavenly Father – who always has His hand ready and waiting for mine.

I can only speak for myself and what life is like raising 9 children to follow Him – at times it is overwhelming. It became so overwhelming the last two years that I lost me in all of it. I was so tied up in the (their) stuff, that I couldn’t see that I had let go of His hand. He was there. We spent time together. But I wasn’t holding on. I was too caught up in the chaos around me to even realize I left the truth of who I am behind. BUT GOD. My two favorite words. He comes and never lets me go. We had a come to Jesus meeting here last night and it was powerful. Truths spoken, prayers shared, hearts joined, love poured out and God was honored! God used every ounce of my heartfelt pain that I allowed to have its way with me the last two years, to become a HUGE blessing and give back what I thought was lost. JOY RESTORED! In an instant. Just like that. His LOVE never fails. It always wins. It always will.

As time allows over the next few weeks, I will begin teaching and sharing what I have learned by spending hours upon hours with my very wise husband, as he taught me about the truest meaning of life. You won’t want to miss it – trust me when I say each truth he has shared is a life changer, breath of fresh air and a complete soul restorer. Hearing it is just the beginning of walking out our faith and love for God – doing it is our calling. Trust and obey – every day, all the way, right away, with joy and thanksgiving!