For the Love of...

DIY Patriotic Mason Jar Luminaries

Andrea — Fri, 24 May 2013 19:06:28 +0000

Hi there friends. It’s Friday and I’m running around, trying to get ready for Memorial Day weekend, but I wanted to pop in and say hi. How are you? Have any fun plans for the weekend? Well in case you’re looking for a craft or are hosting a BBQ this weekend, I thought I’d share a project from the archives of my other blog, that still is as relevant and pretty back then as it is today. The actual tutorial itself is fairly simple and you might have seen it already around the web, but if not, you can see how I made the exact same luminaries for Halloween, by following this tutorial. But the thing I’ve always loved about these patriotic ones is how simple and pretty they look when glowing on a Summer night at dusk. Have a happy Memorial Day everyone. See you back on Monday (or Tuesday if I’m enjoying myself too much)!

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DIY Orchid Centerpiece

Andrea — Thu, 23 May 2013 17:46:49 +0000

My friend Shelly, of Van Rozeboom Interiors, makes the most amazing orchid centerpieces. Exactly like the ones you find at high end florist shops, that retail for well over $100. Using orchids as her focus, she fills large and unique vessels with all types of plants ranging from succulents, to ferns, to create bold and long lasting centerpieces that easily become a statement piece around your home. She’s claimed to recently found her secret to thriving success of her centerpieces, so she came over last week to show me just how simple they are to put together, and how to maintain them so they last you a long time. Here’s the how-to.

Begin by purchasing 1-2 medium sized orchids, along with some ferns, standard house plants, and/or succulents. Shelly advises picking your filler plants that will all require the same amount of sun and water so that they thrive in the same conditions. My dining room table gets lots of indirect light towards the end of the day, so she picked out hearty houseplants and flowers that will do well with lots of light. We chose Phalaenopsis for the orchids since they are the most common variety, are fairly hearty and reasonably priced. For the filler plants we chose a Zebra Plant (the striped houseplant), a couple of Flaming Katys (the flowers) and a couple of pots of moss. You’ll also want a large vessel to hold your plants; mine is from Home Goods and was $16.99. 2 sticks of bamboo, florist wire, sheet moss and reindeer moss, newspapers, and scissors or clippers. The raffia and leaf shine are optional but nice touches. The florist supplies including the moss and wire and sometimes even the bamboo are usually all available at Michael’s. The plants are from Trader Joe’s and Lowe’s, where you can usually pick up the leaf shine if you need it too.

Start by lining your vessel with a trash bag or plastic grocery bag to protect it from drainage from watering the plants. You are going to leave all the plants in their pots to make it easy to switch out in case any fail, so you want something to serve as a barrier against the water and vessel. If you want, you could certainly line the bag with dirt and plant your flowers and plants, but Shelly loves doing it this way so I trust her! After you’ve lined your vessel, begin arranging your plants. To help them stand up and to hold in place, ball up sheets of newspaper and stick in between.

Once your newspaper is in place, remove the green sticks that come with the orchids and, using just the same ties that came with the plant, tie on the bamboo. You’ll notice that the bamboo sticks will be too high for the plant. Not a problem.

Taking a pair of gardening shears or even heavy kitchen scissors, snip off the tops of the bamboo, and you should have just enough left to make a perfect cross trellis. Take your florist wire and cut about a 12″ piece and start wrapping your bamboo cross trellis in place, in an diamond pattern.

Then it’s time to apply the reindeer moss. Take small bits of it, and a strip of the raffia, and wrap the moss in place with the raffia, covering up each section of florist wire.

Now you’re essentially done for the most part. You’ll want to cover up all that newspaper, so take your sheet moss and break it into pieces to cover up the newspaper.

Spray your leaves with leaf shine if you wish, although if you can get a can, it lasts a long time and does make quite a bit of difference. It gets rid of all those water spots and makes them super lustrous.

Shelly recommends watering your orchids about every 15 days and really warns against over watering. She likes to drop a single ice cube at the base of each plant, or a small glass of water, every 10-15 days or so. For the other plants, follow instructions based off of their variety, but she really likes just feeling the soil every few days and misting with a small water bottle as needed.

The orchid blooms should last a good 3 months and can possibly bloom twice a year. Once the last blooms fall off, cut your flower spike halfway down the stem. Continue caring for it as usual, it is not dead!, and hopefully it will bloom again. Keep in mind that orchids also love humidity and don’t do well in chill temps, so keep it in a spot in your house that gets a consistent temperature range of 75-85 degrees Fahrenheit. To give it some added moisture, place the orchids themselves over a tray or plate of dish water, but separate with some pebbles to make sure the water doesn’t directly hit the soil. Shelly also likes placing them in the bathroom during a shower every once in a while.

So there you have it. I know it seems like a lot of steps but trust me, it goes by fast and we had this all put together in less than 30 minutes, including me stopping her to take pictures. The effort is well worth it because the results are stunning and will save you tons of money if you love this type of arrangement but don’t want to spend the kind of money they ask for them at the florist shop. Thank you so much Shelly for showing me how to make my own DIY orchid centerpiece!

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A Land Of Nod Room For My 8 Year Old (Spon)

Andrea — Tue, 21 May 2013 16:36:27 +0000

You may have heard, but as of yesterday, I now have an 8 year old AND a 6 year old. While the concept of time continually blows my mind with how fast it flies, unfinished projects, and projects yet to be started, are blaring reminders of how, if we don’t move with it, time will pass us by and we wake up asking, “where did the last 8 years go?” With Taylor’s entry into full fledged big kid status now that she’s turned 8, and her entry into 3rd grade in just a few short weeks, we figured it’s time she move up a bit, and what better way to do that than with a new bedroom?

Her horsey bedding is over 4 years old and starting to tear at the seams and is not so gently worn anymore. While my girl still loves horses as much as ice cream, and looks forward to her riding lessons each week, she admitted that she’s ready for bedding that’s a bit more grown up. This is what we have in mind, just by shopping online a bit. But we cannot wait for the actual brick and mortar Land Of Nod store to open up just down the road at South Coast Plaza next week, so that we can take a look at these items in person before she makes any big commitments. Because we all know, deciding on a new room theme for an 8 year old, is just about as big of a decision as you can make at that age.

The bedding is the center of it all. She loves the Sherbet Stripes Bedding, and I love it because of the soft combination of both pastels and neutral gray. I’m thinking a soft gray coat of paint, contrasted by her white wainscoting that’s already in her room would be beautiful. To complement the room, I picked lots of storage options, because basically, my girl’s a hoarder and has so much stuff that is “very special to her”. 1. As You Wish Storage Bench in Ika Fret Pewter 2. Pull Up A Pouf in Gray. These snake charming baskets are amazing and I want them all over my house! 3. Charming Basket tall 4. Charming Basket floor. When we switched out her closet doors last year, she lost her mirrors and at 8, she is all about inspecting herself in the mirror. 5. This lovely silver Little Twigs mirror is gorgeous and will fit in her room for years to come. For wall art, we both want something age appropriate, which means sweet and soft, but I also want something on the more sophisticated and artistic side so that it will have longevity in her room, and could even transfer to other parts of the house, like my office, if she decides to go goth when she’s a teen. 6. & 7. Sky High Butterfly and Sprouting Flowers wall art on canvas. 8. And lastly, for the large wall above her bed, we both love the look of these silver wall decals. In fact I pinned something similar months ago for my office, long before Land Of Nod had these nifty ones in their inventory! When both mother and daughter agree on something, you know you have a winner.

So there you have it, a refreshed little girl’s room for a girl who’s on her way to growing up. Soft, subtle, with just a bit of sophistication to grow with her. I can’t wait for the store opening next week at my favorite mall. and can’t wait to see what displays they have in store for us, since Land Of Nod is always so ingenious and creative. If you’re local in Southern California, the store opens on Friday May 31st. There will be giveaways throughout the day, and goodies passed out to those that arrive early to shop. If you’re not in the area of a LON store (so sorry), you can still shop online and get a taste of their awesome customer service. When visiting them online, you can also enter their Win A Room Sweepstakes. Pretty much my dream come true. You can also visit Land Of Nod on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Land of Nod, but all my opinions are my own. #PMedia #NODinCA

As always, with any sponsored post, I am committed to working with brands that I already love, or am new to and extremely excited about. I’ve long been a fan of Land Of Nod, and we have several of their lovely items in each of the kid’s rooms, including pretty much Hayden’s entire nursery I love the brand, the quality they stand behind, and the company for their excellent customer service, and am truly honored to be a part of this campaign.

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Daily Style – How To Wear Acid Wash

Andrea — Mon, 20 May 2013 17:45:26 +0000

Jacket, Pants & Shoes – Zara (t-shirt is too, but super old last seen when pregnant); Bag – Target; Sunglasses – Warby Parker

I just got off a 52 minute phone interview with a writer for Real Simple Magazine, talking about how to navigate the world of fast fashion stores like Forever 21, Zara and H&M, as a grown woman. She found me from this post I wrote last year, How To Shop Forever 21 As A Grown Woman, and was figured I had a lot to say on the subject. Poor woman, 52 minutes later, learned that I indeed have a lot to say, quite often, too much I suppose.

It’s no secret, I love to shop. Many times I just window shop, and I often don’t always go through with my purchases, and then sometimes I buy things, only to feel remorseful days later and so I return them. I am a commissioned salesperson worst nightmare sometimes, when I saunter up to the register holding a bag that can only mean one thing: RETURN! And I go through phases where I buy a lot, then go on a no-spend freeze for a while. Spring and Fall are usually when I do most of my shopping, so if you see me sporting a few new items in the next few weeks, you know why. Then come Summer, I’ll still be wearing the same shorts and you’ll be all, “Please Andrea, we get it! We know how to wear lace shorts! Move the frick on woman!”

My first motto is to buy the best you can afford when it comes to classic, important staple pieces in your wardrobe. Boots, coats, leather jackets, denim, white button up shirts, etc. And then there’s acid wash. I posted a couple of photos on Instagram this past weekend wearing this jacket and a few asked, “Is that acid wash you’re wearing?” Why, yes it is, and it is fabulous. Here’s the deal, acid washed denim is the last thing I want to spend a ton of money on, so I defer to fast fashion places like Zara (or H&M, Forever 21) for trend pieces that are just that, trend. I didn’t walk into Zara meaning to add some acid wash to my life, but when I saw this moto jacket, I knew it was a great way to incorporate the trend in a more sophisticated way. The washing isn’t too severe, and the shredded collar detail is perfection. It runs small, so size up, if you’re interested.

And the pants, oh these pants are just perfection! Elastic waist, light, flowy material, and real loose to hide a multitude of sins, these bright pink pants scream Spring and will get lots of love all season long.

Yes, my motto is to build a wardrobe off of classic pieces you can sink your teeth into and get lots of longevity out of, from stores you know will stand behind their product. But then there’s days when all you want is something fun and affordable to spice things up, and you end up wearing an entire outfit from Zara, and have inadvertently help build a man’s empire.

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When Everyone Is Just So Pretty and Stylish

Andrea — Thu, 16 May 2013 17:56:36 +0000

While I would define myself and this blog as a style blog, I find it interesting that very few of my pins are actually “style” related. Sometimes all the pretty young faces and designer clothes pinned on Pinterest, more resembles a fashion magazine than actual attainable and realistic inspiration. But I do love Pinterest and with the turn of each season, I love to get some inspiration.

So lately, I’ve found myself gravitating towards, and pinning, an entire feel of a look, as opposed to just certain pieces. The hairstyle, the sunglasses, even the tan a woman wears, is as much a part of the look and why I find it beautiful, as is the actual clothes she’s wearing.

The looks I’ve found inspiring as of late are also innocuous in nature. No particular patterns to focus on, no specific labels, just general styles and colors, like white denim shorts or a loose chambray shirt. For me, this makes the look more achievable to attain and aspire to, and easier to shop for, whether it be in my own closet or at as basic of a store as Old Navy or Gap. I think it’s common to get hooked on a certain pair of jeans, or a particular skirt and lust after it, whether it’s in our budget or not. But when we are inspired by the general look and feel of an outfit, it allows the reinterpretation to be easygoing and loose. Here’s some looks that I’ve been loving lately…

black shorts, loose white blouse, flat sandals, colored bag and easy, casual hair – source

chambray shirt, white denim shorts, ballet flats and a tan - source

super loose boho chic maxi dress with a hat – source

loose chambray shirt, black slim leg pants, and colored pumps with an oversized bag – source

white denim skirt, loose cotton striped shirt, high bun and aviators – source

Chambray shirt and colored denim with a loose, casual ponytail – source

If you notice, the overall theme, besides the boho maxi, is loose chambray and cotton shirts, denim bottoms, and casual hair and makeup. You can find these pieces, if you don’t already own them, at any range of stores, from bargain basement to high end designer if that’s what’s in your budget. The overall feel of the look is what’s important, not the particular items.

This kind of inspiration has been my favorite lately because it’s achievable, monetarily attainable, and easy to replicate.

When you seek inspiration, do you look for certain pieces or do you pin and save for the overall look and feel of an outfit? Where do you get your style inspiration from?

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Try Something New – Calligraphy

Andrea — Wed, 15 May 2013 14:11:51 +0000

Although I may be “crafty”, my natural inclination when it comes to trying anything remotely artistic is to always assume I’ll be lousy at it. After trying watercolor last week, my husband came home to find my orchid and the first thing he asked was “where did you get that from?” I tried not to be offended ha! Perhaps in my older age I’m getting a little more loose and free, or perhaps it’s been bottled up in me and I’m just now nurturing it to let it out, but it turns out that I do have a smidge of artistic ability.

Last night I attended a very small calligraphy workshop hosted by Morgan and taught by my friend Alexandra, the same talented lady who penned my blog header and business cards, and while I was looking forward to a chance to see friends and meet new people, I figured I would be lousy at it and wasn’t as excited about the actual calligraphy lesson. Well, with a combination of Alex’s beautiful alphabet as our guide and her awesome tutelage, turns out I’m not half bad at calligraphy. I believe she in fact called me a “natural”! I had a great time and spent less time actually chatting and focused primarily on practicing over and over and asking lots of questions about hand placement, paper placement, up strokes, down strokes, and how do I keep my nib from splitting. FYI, that pretty little metal tip you use for writing is called a nib, who knew!?!

It was all very inspiring and exciting and the art of calligraphy is all sorts of romantic and beautiful. We each got to bring home our own set and I’m so, so very excited to practice. I’m giddy! Sounds so silly, but I am. It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited about a new craft. And you bet your bottom dollar we’re going to try to incorporate this into a Craft Cabinet, an idea that Jules and I have been talking about for months now, and after last night, something I’m sure we can indeed pull off and it would be a hit. So stay tuned if you’re local!

Thank you Morgan and Alex for hosting such a fun evening, and thank you Smirnoff for sponsoring the event yet not making us talk about booze all night (your new line of low calorie Vodka, Smirnoff Sorbet is yummy!).

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How To Make An Earthy Beaded Necklace

Andrea — Tue, 14 May 2013 17:51:13 +0000

I’ve been holding onto these beads for months now, almost a year to be exact. I purchased them on this trip to the flea market when I was still pregnant with Hayden and have played around with them off and on a few times now, not quite getting the design or configuration to my liking. They’re gorgeous, very earthy feeling beads from Africa, so I wanted to really make something special out of them. While I absolutely love this piece, I think I’ll go back and restring it with a few tweaks. It’s not exactly perfect and to my liking, but the overall design is exactly what I’ve envisioned, so I thought I’d share it with you nonetheless. So here’s the how-to for making an earthy beaded necklace.

I’m not getting into precise detail of how to string the beads, as I’ve done this many times before in past tutorials. To see how I use jump beads and jewelry wire, please refer to this detailed and popular post, how to make an ombre seed bead necklace. Once you’ve familiarized yourself with what you’ll need (beading wire, lobster claw closures, jump rings and jewelry pliers), pick out some beads you love and begin stringing. Make up random configurations and designs, so that they all come out different, yet the individual strands complement each other. To get a layered look, make them each a varied length, anywhere from 10″-4″. If you want more of a thicker, cluster look, as seen in this statement necklace, then make the strands similar lengths.

Now here’s what I’d do differently and why I want to restring them. Originally, I was going to make a bunch of long, individual necklaces to layer, much like these Anthropologie ones. But the more I made, the more I didn’t like how they looked when separated. So I decided to cluster them all together and add them to one big jump ring, which is why there are each on their own jump ring. As I did in my ombre seed bead necklace, I’d redo this one by just stringing them directly onto the big jump ring. I might make the strands a bit longer or shorten the chain too, so you don’t see so much of the plain gold chain.

So much of DIY is playing around and trial and error. If anything, I’m just so excited to finally get some use out of these gorgeous beads and now I’m on the right track to making the perfect Anthropologie-esque necklace. Now let’s see how long it takes me to redo it

As always, enjoy, and please let me know if you have any questions!

Thanks for reading! If you like what you found in today’s post, I would love for you to follow along on my Facebook page, or on Instagram.

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Daily Style – How To Wear Lace Shorts

Andrea — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:52:53 +0000

I’ve been giving some thought lately, to this concept of effortless style. It’s a term you often hear in fashion magazines and on celebrity commentary, used to reference how pulled together someone looks, yet it’s as if she’s done it with the greatest of ease. In essence, the wearer looks as if she literally just found something from her closet and tossed it on, without much thought. The older I get, and the more harried my life becomes chasing after 3 little ones, this concept of effortless lifestyle dressing becomes even more important. If you’re new to the concept of lifesetyle dressing, it’s basically a wardrobe made up of pieces that work for all, or at least most, facets of your life, be it workwear, casualwear and even dressy. The concept of not having defined sections of your closet for different occasions, but having a closet made up of great pieces that you can wear for almost anything life throws at you. It’s curating a closet where every piece is one you love, and you rarely have to utter the words, “I have nothing to wear.”

Shorts – Zara; Shirt – James Perse; Sandals – Zara; Necklace – Oh Hello Friend; Sunnies – Coach; Clutch – American Apparel

So how does one achieve such a feat, and be able to dig into your closet and throw an outfit on in minutes, and look great in the process?

Well to start with, you need to be patient and thoughtful with your approach to buying items for your wardrobe. Not everything can picked up from one store (ahem, Target, I’m talking to you).

You need to shop often, that is window shop at least. Sometimes it even means bringing things home with you (as long as they’re returnable) to see if an item will in fact work with your closet, and work on you in front of the safety of your mirror at home.

It also helps to keep abreast, to some extent, of trends. While in the end, classic pieces are the true DNA of a well curated closet, the occasional on-trend piece is thrown in now and then to keep your look updated and fresh, and to save you from monotony.

Lace, and in particular, lace shorts are on-trend this season, and I had to be patient as well as do a bit of buying/returning to find a pair I truly loved and would work for a 37 year old mom of 3. The problem with some lace shorts out there is that they are either very light colored, leaving you feeling exposed, they are often really short, leaving you feeling exposed again, and many don’t have an elastic waistband, leaving you feeling naughty and guilty if you happen to eat too much over Mother’s Day weekend.

After trying on many pairs and even bringing a pair home to later return, I found these at Zara over the weekend and I am in love. They’re a dark color, so aren’t too revealing (and hide stains from babies who like to throw food). They are cropped but aren’t super short so my thighs are well covered, and they have an elastic waistband, hooray! And even though the lace is really only at the hem of the short, they still read as lace, therefore, it’s a great on-trend refresher to my wardrobe without being over the top or fussy. They’ll also probably last a lot longer than all over lace, what with bleachers to sit in for baseball games and all.

So this is how a woman my age does lace shorts. They’re comfortable, totally age-appropriate, and can be dressed up with a sequin top and some strappy heels, making it a killer date night outfit as well.

So would you give lace shorts a try? Why or why not? What would hold you back, or give you the nudge you need to try them?

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Would You Buy $368 Denim Overalls

Andrea — Sat, 11 May 2013 18:12:36 +0000

Anthropologie is having a 15% off sale on all full price merchandise today, and I’m splurging on a $48 t-shirt. I tried it on in store last month when I had some birthday money to spend, and it was the perfect tee; totally flattering, soft, with a cute raw edge detail. But $48 is a bit pricey for tee so I held back. Having worked for a luxury tee-shirt company before though, I know that if they’re made in the USA, $48 is actually not that outrageous considering labor and construction costs, and I’ve searched around the past few weeks for another comparable, less expensive tee, but I just haven’t found it. So I decide to buy just one, and after I add the tee to my cart, I start browsing around.

I come across these denim overalls and I have to admit, I’m kinda loving them. My friend Rachel is totally laughing at me right now because she tried to bring back the denim overalls 2 years ago and I laughed at her. Turns out Rachel, you were on to something. I spotted this particular pair on another mom recently and she looked fab! So I go to check them out, and holy smokes batman! They’re $368!!

The first thing I think is, “There’s starving children in this world, and companies are selling $368 overalls!?!” And then I step off my holier-than-thou soapbox and realize that I have spent $368 on particular fashion items, like a handbag and once, a pair of designer sunglasses that I still can’t believe I bought; both purchased pre-children. Now, we’re older and have more disposable income, this is true, but we also have more to save for, and more practical things to spend money on, like college tuition and activities for the kids. If I did find myself with $368 to spend on a clothing/accessory item though, let’s say I make bonus one month, I’m not so sure I’d spend it on denim overalls that will be out of style next year. I might get another functional handbag, or a pair of Frye boots which last forever. Who knows, but I’m certain it wouldn’t be overalls.

What about you? If you had an extra $368 to spend however you wanted, on a clothing/accessory item, what would you buy?

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Week In Review

Andrea — Fri, 10 May 2013 20:15:57 +0000

It’s been a busy week all around. After I wrote about coming to peace with blogging this past weekend, I’ve been more focused on propelling forward than I have been in a very, very long time. I’ve thought about the social media trap for quite some time, and it hit my like a lightning bolt the other day that for every minute I spend complaining or feeling negativity towards another writer/blogger online, that’s one less minute I spend on myself and my work. Bottom line, it’s just not worth it. My time is too valuable, and so is yours. So just stop.

I’ve accomplished a ton this week in terms of list making, idea making, brainstorming and networking. I’m super excited to bring you some new content, especially style and exercise related, in the coming weeks. I hope you enjoy what I have in the works.

I posted a photo on Instagram last night (I’m @fourlfights), of 1 of 2 of our babysitters. For the past few months I have enlisted a lot of help. Since I’ve pretty much always worked in some capacity since I’ve become a mother, I’ve had hired help, particularly just one girl, who is actually a woman now(!), and she’s been with us for the past 6 years. We trust her and the kids love her. She comes to the house 1 day a week for 5-6 hours. Once a month she comes one other day for 3 hours to just help me play catch up around the house. This past Tuesday, while I helped the big kids with homework, she helped me out by washing my windows. She’s flexible all around and we usually play tag team with the kids. If I’m nursing Hayden, she may be folding laundry while she oversees a rowdy game of Parcheesi with the big kids. Friday mornings when she comes, and the big kids are at school, I pay her the same amount as if she was watching all 3, and while Hayden naps she helps around the house. I go to the gym, and do some work. If I feel a pull to be with Hayden, I’ll even ask her to get dinner started so I can spend some time with him. She is a sitter but way more than that as well. After 6 years, she has come to be a part of our family.

About 2 months ago I felt like I was drowning. Between the house, the kids and homework, volunteering at the school, and my blogging commitments, I felt stressed and panicked on a daily basis. Hayden was and is still not sleeping through the night, and so I was exhausted on top of it, functioning off of 4 hours of sleep most days. Besides having Marin already on regular rotation, my mom helps out for a few hours on Mondays and my mother in law helps out for a few hours on Wednesdays. They are both retired and it’s a way of seeing the grandkids on a regular basis. Yes, you read that right, I at this point already had help 3 days a week. But it still didn’t seem like enough. So I brought Clarie on board to help out for 3 hours Thursday afternoon. She is a senior in high school and doesn’t have a ton of babysitting experience, but we’ve known her for a few years and trust her immensely. She is a very smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. I sometimes leave her with the kids for a little bit but most of the time she’s just here to help me run interference. She watches Hayden while I help the big kids with homework or take them to an activity, or I lock myself in the office to get stuff done.

So wow, why on earth do I need so much help, and how do we afford a sitter for a few hours each week? Well, there are numerous reasons and ways.

First, my husband is a small business owner. Which means he works a ton and isn’t usually home until well past 6, most days 7 or 8. Because he works so much, it is a huge, exhausting feat to get kids to activities, dinner made, homework completed, baby fed, and all 3 kids bathed and in bed at a decent time all on my own. I collapse after bedtime on the nights he’s working late and I have no extra hands. We do alright financially; we are not rolling in dough, but we don’t have a fixed, set income either, therefore our budget has some flexibility. We have both decided and agreed that for this season in our life, the extra expense is worth it for our family’s sanity and happiness. Once Hayden turns a year though we plan to scale back accordingly. The arrangement of having the two sitters come for a few hours 2 days a week is something new just in the past few months.

Second, my writing commitments for Disney are exactly that, a commitment and in fact a real job. My dad never realized this until he met my editor and boss Andrea Zimmerman last week. I have monthly traffic and post goals that I must meet, and to meet those goals the posts require a lot of time. I have to produce 13-14 posts per month, which is about 3 per week (on top of my own blog), and I am expected to promote them to help with those traffic goals. I love the work even though it is a lot of work, and I feel I am well compensated for what I am doing, which means I’d like to hold onto this gig for as long as I can. Before we brought Claire on, I seriously considered giving the job up, but having just 3 extra hours of help each week has helped out immensely. There’s also that side business I’m trying to start as well.

Third, Art and I are very involved in the kid’s school and activities. This takes up a huge amount of our free time. Art coaches Syd’s baseball team. I work in each of their classrooms almost every week, and I’m on the Yearbook staff as well. Extracurricular activities are not out of control, but each kid is in swimming and Taylor has dance once a week, and Syd has a game and practice once a week. If you’re a parent of older kids, you know this all too well. 2 activities for each kid doesn’t seem like a lot, but it adds up. Oh, and during the week we have a no media policy, so putting on the TV for the kids to watch while I crank out a post isn’t part of our plan. It sucks, believe me, to not have that option to fall back on, but my kids become monsters with daily screen time and we all end up miserable.

Lastly, then there’s just life. Homework everyday, in addition to Syd’s speech therapy, takes time and energy, as you know. Cooking, paying bills, keeping a house clean, and trying to just enjoy life, it all adds up. For years we felt it was all very manageable, but since Hayden arrived, even with as easy as he is, it literally flipped us on our asses, much more than we even realized until after we had been doing it for a few months. We were on a treadmill at full speed, then we just got tired and fell down, face first.

For months I tried working during Hayden’s morning naps, but then if I only worked on my writing assignments during nap, bills didn’t get paid (our water was actually shut off one month!), or the house was a wreck and I wasn’t prepared when the kids got home from school. It sucked, plain and simple, to feel like I was on a timer the second I put him down for a nap. I always felt like I was rushing our mornings to get him down for his nap so I could work. And after weeks, then months of sleep deprivation, I became useless at night after bedtime, when I usually did a lot of my writing. I am toast by 8:30 and am usually fast asleep by 9:30/10 pm.

Some months I get frustrated and even embarrassed, that I seem to need so much help. Some months I feel like most of what I make goes towards sitters. But I know this is only for a short season, and once life settles down (in huge part that will be when Hayden starts sleeping better), we can cut back and holding onto this side work will have been worth it. So why continue to work at all? Well, I love what I do, and of course the extra income is a blessing to our family. Do I ever feel like someone else is raising my kids? Of course not! Having worked outside of the house for many years, this is the most I’ve ever been with my kids. Because the people that come in and help are family, or feel like family, we all sort of meld together and tag team. I’m always around and the kids know that. I come in and out of the office to nurse Hayden or help with a homework question. I’m here even though someone else is here too.

So that pretty much sums it all up in a nutshell. If I have ever given the impression that I am wonder woman, I apologize. I am anything but, and I get by with a lot of help from friends and family. And if any other bloggers try to mask that they have help (if they in fact do), it’s bullshit. We need to be honest and open about how much work blogging and writing takes, and the time commitments it requires. You cannot do it all, all on your own. There is usually a very big support system behind every successful and even semi-successful blogger, as is the case with anyone that works. We do not have magic wands that can just magically get all this shit done while effortlessly raising beautiful, well groomed, happy kids, and while also baking, crafting, cooking, homeschooling, and looking fabulous and stylish while doing it. I am in particular speaking of bloggers with kids at home (like my Hayden). I got a whole hell of a lot done when I just had the two kids in school all morning, obviously, and it was indeed feasible to get the majority of it done with no help. Having a 3rd kid at home though was a game changer.

So I’m curious how the rest of you do it? Please share!

Now that you’re sick of hearing about me and my babysitting schedule, here’s what else is going on around the web. Lots of good links this week worth checking out.

- latest target collaboration with 3.1 Phillip Lim

- 3rd grade is the most crucial year in a child’s school career

- Thank you, Mom

- I fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans at 9 months postpartum. Here’s how I did it.

- 10 things I would love to do on Mother’s Day if I was gifted the valuable treasure of time.

- lots of talk about women in the workplace this week. love this post by Anne Bogel

- and speaking of women in the workplace, here are 5 women in business you should add to your radar (in case you’re sick of Marissa Meyer, Oprah, and Sheryl Sandberg)

- furthermore about work, I’ve worked full time or part time most of the time I’ve been a mother, and each job has involved some travel. Here are some practical “big picture” tips of how I keep the family happy when away from home.

- pretty photo taken by one of our very talented babysitters

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