There are days when I wish had I more hours. There are weeks when I wish I had the luxury of not working and be able to do nothing but things I enjoy. I just always feel like I’m juggling three thousand things, between things I have to do (*cough* work *cough*) and things I want do (everything else in life!). Eventually, I have to let some balls drop in order to make sure others stay in the air.

This was most of January.

The biggest attraction to the life I was leading before this whole “make me healthy” kick I got on was that it required absolutely no effort. This is obvious since I never exercised, avoided anything but the normal daily movements and never gave any thought to what I ate except how delicious it was and how much I looked forward to eating it again.

Now, I’m finding that this exercising and eating better requires quite a bit of effort and thought. I have never been and will never be a morning person so getting up early to work out just ain’t happening. So I’ve been squeezing them into an hour of time between when I get off at 4:30 and when Steve gets home about 5:30. But this means that if I’m late leaving work, I am completely off schedule and everything else in the evening is delayed. The difference is that in the past, I would’ve used it as an excuse to NOT do it whereas now, I’m just sucking it up and doing it.

The food though – oh man, that is tough! I already hated thinking of what to cook before I was trying to eat well. The laziness of not exercising extended into a laziness of not wanting to put a lot of effort into cooking, especially after a long day of work. Now, that’s still there but it’s even more of a pain because I have to think about what’s good for me and balance it out with something Steve will eat as well. (Note: he is on board with this and will generally try anything I cook, but he is inherently picky and he won’t survive on plain chicken breasts and veggies which is what I would probably eat if I was on my own).

Again, the required effort doesn’t mean that I’m not doing it. On the contrary, I am trying as hard as I can. And it is exceedingly difficult, especially during times like last week when I had a hectic week and worked really late at least three days in a row and missed my work out time and just wanted to go through the drive thru (one night I actually did). I have cheated. Even today, I cheated a bit. But I’m not gorging myself on awfulness. I’ll have a sweet here or there and maybe a breakfast burrito from Sonic. It’s not the best I can do but it’s not the worst. I still choose the fish over anything when we go out to eat. I load my plate up with veggies and lean protein when we cook at home.

I eat spinach now! Never would touch the stuff before but find it actually quite delicious with a pinch of salt and some of that I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter spray.

Dinner Monday night -turkey tenderloin, small bit of rice a roni, spinach and broccoli - YUM!

But I spent most of January just trying to figure out how to rebalance my life to include these new things. It has been tough but I have stuck with it and I’m actually enjoying it. I look forward to eating veggies. I feel anxious if I miss my workout. I am enjoying the Kinect but I’m finding that I really, really love walking around the neighborhood. There’s something about setting off on a nice afternoon with my pop fitness station playing on Pandora and the sun shining that just makes me feel awesome and wonder why I ever missed out on it in the first place.

I told myself I’d give it a month before I invested any really money into it. And while I’ve slightly deviated from my schedule this past week because of circumstances unforeseen, I decided it was time to get back to where I belong and keep to my four days a week of exercise and my healthy choices.

And that it was time to buy a pair of sneakers.

This if the first pair of sneakers that I bought for a purpose and not because they were comfortable and I wanted to wear them casually. I am such a newcomer to this life that I don’t need shoes perfectly designed for running or cross training. I just needed something that was comfortable and supportive and would not make my feet hurt to the point where I wanted to give up.  I decided to go with running shoes because I read online that when you’re overweight, it’s better to start off with them because they offer extra cushioning and support. I also needed something wider in the toe than the Adidas & K-Swiss ones I’ve for years because I have a callus underneath the pinky toe that gets irritated and my feet kind of tingle and go a bit number around the ball of my foot. These Asics were on sale at Sports Authority and weren’t god awful ugly and I figure the yellow would help when I’m walking as it’s getting dark.

Next up, a heart monitor that counts my calories and possibly a small elliptical for the house.

Baby steps!

Regardless, I am still not going at this as hard as I should. Others would probably still call me a novice, an amateur. It takes all of my willpower to not completely give up or to just think “I can cheat today because there’s always tomorrow”. I have to remind myself that there are a thousand tomorrows but only one today and that the only way I can keep from constantly starting over is to not give up.

But it’s a step forward and I’d much rather go forward than stay where I am. Because where I am is not the place I want to be a year from now. It’s not the place I want to be right now.

And I’m the only one that can change that!

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On the general life front …

My blogs make it seem like I’m entrenched in this fitness thing – that’s far from the truth. It’s really not a huge change but it’s there. Work has taken a lot of my time, especially here lately. Last week was the kind of week where everything I touched seemed to fall apart or fall through the cracks. Add the fact that I skipped workouts because I got home late and I was PMSing and I was just a giant ball of stress.

There has been a lot of downtime in the house. Steve is sick this weekend so it’s been a stay at home kind of time. The few weekends before that were the same though none of us were sick. I think we just needed some winding down from the holidays. We’ve peppered that with quite a few dinners out with friends and quality time with the awesome ones in our life. I decorated our mantle and gave it a spring look.

Did some organizing around the house, cleaned pretty much everything I could get my hands. I’m kind of over winter and ready for the spring to get here so I can open the windows and let the world in. We’ve had weather nice enough for us to have them open but it’s not consistent so that leads to sickness.

Pretty much all the normal things that normal boring grown ups do.

Such is life I guess!

All in all, I’m pretty darn happy with it.

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I’m also trying to do the February photo a day on Instagram. You can follow along here if you’d like.

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Only One Today | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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Happy February!

January has been a busy month for me and February kicked off in a fairly crappy way. Since it’s the first of the month though, it’s time for some poetry and since February is  the month of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d share with you one of my all time favorite love poems.

This has always been and always will be one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read!

Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

~ Pablo Neruda

[via]

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: February Poem | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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I think the look I’m giving whoever is taking this picture perfectly sums up this outfit. Oh poor me! I just want to reach back and shake that girl and tell her everything that is wrong here. I guess we all have to go through this stage. Unfortunately, I had to go through it all at the same time. Note the baggy button up shirt and stirrup pants. My mother would tell you this was my uniform back then. I also used to wear a headband everyday – looks like I had either progressed past that stage here or figured I didn’t need one since I was home. Also note the socks that don’t match the outfit and aren’t even passable as special occasion or decorative socks. They’re just teal. With a light purple shirt. (I remember it distinctly – it was a lavender color, despite coming off as white in this shot).

Also note I had yet discovered eyebrow plucking.

But I had discovered books! This was also a staple, me always having my nose stuck in a book. It’s pretty much the same now, only I have an electronic reader and I’ve graduated from Sweet Valley to Harry Potter or The Hunger Games.  LOL

AND …. the kicker is, I’m wearing almost exactly the same thing in this photo, which was taken probably sometime around 1994 or 1995 (making me about 13 or 14) as I am in this photo, which was taken probably four or five years later in the summer before my junior year, so I would’ve been about sixteen there. Except in the later one, the pants aren’t stirrup pants but flared dressy club pants. Same concept though. At least this shirt wasn’t see through.

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Way Back Wednesday: Those Awkward Years | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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This is a picture of a badly taken Polaroid so bear with the quality please.

This is the same crew I talked about running with back in this photo. Sadly, the only people I can remember are the guys directly around me (I’m fourth from the right, if you couldn’t tell). The people on the outer part of the group I couldn’t tell you their names if I tried. This is us on a non-clubbing night at the local pool hall slash game room. Note: the local pool hall slash game room is a town of about 4,000 people in the middle of rural North Carolina.

I actually like this picture of me for the most part except that I feel like you can kind of see through my shirt. Actually, you totally can. And someone should’ve told me that in this case, I should’ve worn a tank top underneath it. Except maybe I was going for that look back then. I think we’ve already established the skankiness factor (note: in appearance only, not practice, thank you very much!)

I did have some great times with this crew! They brought life into what would’ve been a few quiet summers.

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Way Back Wednesday: Rollin’ With the Homies | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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The thing I have to keep telling myself is that this is not ALL OR NOTHING.

This is not go out and spend a hundred bucks on workout clothes that would eventually be used for lounging on the couch.

This is not buy a gym membership that will never get used or an expensive workout machine that will only collect dust or clothes in the corner of the bedroom.

This is not cut everything out of my diet. This is not eat Lean Cuisine’s for lunch and sneak the Weight Watchers shortcuts in that still aren’t the best choices (pudding, Rice Krispie treats, etc.).

This is not work out one night and eat healthy for a day and step on the scale to see a loss of five pounds.

This is not a diet. This is not a program that lasts until I reach a goal weight and then everything goes to shit and the pounds pack back on.

This is a lifestyle change. It is a slow process. It is the build up to a different way of living, to making healthier choices without depriving myself of the deliciousness that this world offers.

It is learning to enjoy moving my body and the adrenaline rush that comes after a long and sweaty workout. It is knowing I am going to sleep like a rock and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning because I didn’t skip my work out. It is knowing I can go out and be active, whether it’s hiking in the mountains or riding the ATV’s we plan to buy, without getting winded or holding up the group.

It is knowing that I can have those Reese’s Peanut Butter Miniatures or those French fries but I’m going to have to work for them later. It is not really wanting either of those things in the capacity that I used to, knowing that one or two will satisfy the craving and that I won’t ever feel gross or sick to my stomach because I just kept shoving the crap in my pie hole because it was SO DELICIOUS and I DIDN’T WANT TO WASTE IT!

I saw this on Pinterest last week and immediately had to do what I told myself I never would do: start a fitness inspiration board. Because I needed some. Because if this lifestyle change is going to take place, I need some pretty reminders that this is not ALL OR NOTHING but is really SMALL AND SOMETHING.

[via]

It has been two and half weeks since I’ve started modifying my eating habits and about a week and a half since I started exercising. And it feels like forever! Not because I’m not enjoying it but because I love it so much that I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner.

The key, as I said above, is the baby steps. I am not rushing to make huge changes or grandiose plans because I don’t feel like that would be beneficial to my plan. Slow and steady wins the race.

Instead of joining a gym, I’ve been working out at home using Dance Central 2 and Your Shape fitness on the Kinect. This not only provides me with exercise that I enjoy but it gives my body a chance to get acclimated to actually moving around instead of just sitting on the couch. It gives me a chance to figure out what I like (anything involving dancing or rhythm movements) and what I don’t like (running – I will never like running).

The workouts are fairly low impact now – I can dance in fitness mode for about an hour and only burn about 250 calories. This is fine because I haven’t moved my body this much in years and I am severely out of shape so by the end of the sessions, I am usually done. But I figure the longer I do it, the more I’ll get used to it and I can gradually increase the intensity of the workouts. Then I might consider joining a gym (the local community center lets residents join for $50 a year). Right now, I’m at least considering buying a small stationary elliptical just to give me some more variance in my workouts and help start to boost the intensity a bit.

I’m working out in old tshirts and lounge shorts and some severely old and stretched out sports bras that I have. It’s not the best scenario but again, I want to make sure I am going to stick with this before I go out and buy some better workout gear. I plan to at least pick up one sports bra because I need something to keep the bubbies contained a bit but other than that, I’m giving myself at least a month before I get an actual workout wardrobe.

I’m working out four days a week right now. I do them during the work week and give myself a break on the weekends. Just from the working out though. I still try to stick to the eating healthy on the weekends.

And as far as eating goes, it’s much easier than it used to be, even when I was on Weight Watchers. Let me just say, Weight Watchers worked for me, but I never reached my goal weight and I didn’t have the devotion to continue calculating the points values of the meals. Plus, I was doing it in my early twenties, where my lifestyle centered more around eating out than cooking in and it was such a pain to try and figure out all of the points values for food at restaurants and drinks and whatnot.

Now, I just make better choices and eat less. The first week, it was all on instinct – pick the fish over the beef. Eat more vegetables. No soda after lunch. Don’t eat a whole sleeve of Club crackers. This past week, I actually started using the My Fitness Pal app on my phone and the best thing that has done for me is make the concept of burn more than you eat click in my brain.

Right now, the app has me on a 1200 calorie a day diet and I don’t know if it’s because I adjusted my eating gradually, but it hasn’t really affected me. I can be a bit hungry when I go to bed at night but, as my experience with Weight Watchers showed me, the first few weeks you will be hungry because of the simple adjustment in the amount of food that’s being consumed.

The best thing about it is that counting the calories is easy because I’ve already adjusted my mind to pick things that are better for me. So I’m not really picking something that’s say, better in calories but has more fat. I’m already picking lean meats and having larger portions of veggies. Counting the calories thus becomes simple because it’s simple math – these calories plus these plus these should equal less than my daily allowance. And if I burn off calories by exercising, I can add them back into my total.

The other thing I’m trying to do is not fall into the “diet” trap. This isn’t about me eating low-fat food and Lean Cuisine meals and only salads. This is learning to enjoy the food I like in smaller portions and to just know that if I indulge, I’ll need to adjust my workout later to accommodate that. I don’t like the fact that a lot of the frozen health meals have so much sodium in them and I’m really trying to stick to fresh home cooked foods. We still use a lot of frozen veggies just because I need to make sure they don’t go bad in my refrigerator before I get a chance to cook them but I’m trying to make sure we’re not buying or eating from the center of the store, the prepackaged boxed foods and instead focus on simple building blocks that can be modified to fit the tastes of the evening (chicken, rice, veggies, potatoes, etc.).

I haven’t kept soda in the house since New Year’s – instead, I buy two 20 ounces bottles on Friday night and they act as my “coffee” for Saturday and Sunday. I haven’t had anything fried since Christmas and haven’t really wanted it. I turn to yogurt and homemade frozen yogurt and grapes for snacks.

I wake up and feel awake and ready to start the day as soon as my alarm goes off. I have enough energy in the evening to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS but I get tired earlier, early enough to actually get a good nights sleep. I don’t crave the soda or the caffeine like I used to or feel like a zombie if I don’t have it. I can eat one or two pieces of candy in a sitting without guilt but also without shoving the entire package in my face.

I weigh myself every other day or so but don’t panic if the numbers fluctuate a bit.

I actually feel like crap if I don’t work out and find myself falling back into the wide awake at midnight and barely able to get out of bed in the morning pattern.

I am amazed at how my focus has improved and how I feel like I fly through tasks instead of getting distracted by the Internet or the shiny thing that flew in front of my face.

This is not the easiest thing I’ve ever done, especially when I compare it to how easy my lackadaisical attitude made life.

But it is certainly more enjoyable than I ever imagined it would be.

And I’m willing to give it four weeks then eight weeks then twelve weeks.

I’m willing to give it a year.

It’s not about right now. It’s about the rest of my life.

And I intend to make it the best life ever.

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Small and Something | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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Even though I am in this photo looking a hot mess, that is not what I want you to focus on. Look behind my “Mom bursts into the room with a camera the morning after prom and I’m still sleeping” face and focus on the room, especially the walls. Don’t you love them? Isn’t that classy? Because in high school and mostly through college, I thought the whole concept of decorating meant you take as many pictures of hot boys and plaster them like wallpaper all over your walls. Or posters of the music you listen to – this was my “gangsta rap” stage – THUG LIFE BITCHES! This picture does not show that directly above me, on the peaked ceiling, there is another Tupac poster, a Biggie poster and a Diddy “No Way Out” album cover poster. I just pretty much assumed that every spare inch of wall space should be covered in something – pictures, glow in the dark stars, sparkly disco balls.

If you look closely, you can see the original Polaroid of this photo hanging on the wall.

Also, that is a waterbed I am sleeping on. That’s how awesome I was! (Can’t you tell by the bangs?)

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Way Back Wednesday: Interior Design | Read: 4 comments Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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Better known as the summers I spent at my dad’s where there weren’t as many (read: any) rules so I was going out to nightclubs with my older cousins and drinking and dressing like I was a grown woman. This was one of those nights where we were heading out to a nightclub – or, now that I look closer and see there’s a stamp on my hand, coming home? Who knows? We very well could have been going out and that stamp leftover from the night before because they were a bitch to get off. Regardless, I’m like sixteen here and that is my second cousin (my dad’s cousin) who is like 26 or so. This was also my blond stage and also, see how tan my right arm is? You can’t see it in the picture but my left arm is not that tan – and that, ladies and gentleman, is what happens when you ride around with your arm hanging out of the passenger side window all summer.

Also, that dress was really short. Apparently, I was a skank!

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Way Back Wednesday: Summers in High School | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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He was doing that dance that puppies do when they’re unsure about things and I could resist antagonizing him. At least someone in our house realizes the evils of XBox!

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Fraidy-Puppy | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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“And just like that, another weekend gone!”

Inevitably, if you live in my house, this is what you will hear at least one time on Sunday. It is such a strange day around here as we are partly sad that the weekend is coming to a close. And yet, when I sit down on a day like today and my house is clean, my tummy is full, the laundry is spinning in the dryer and almost all of my to-do list is checked off, there’s a part of me that is equally satisfied that I have put another week of accomplishments behind me and can start anew.

Aside from accomplished, if I had to pick a word that summed up last week, it would be: MODIFY ¹

With it being the first week of the month and the first week of the New Year, I figured it was time for me to start making good on some of the resolutions and goals I had set. The key here is that I’m not throwing myself into them full force only to burn out in a few weeks as I have done in the past. Rather, I am making small modifications in my life that I hope will help me develop better habits that will last me through the year and the rest of my life.

Most of it is health related. It was no surprise to me when I went to my yearly visit, my doctor emphasized losing the weight more than once as a suggestion to some of the issues I felt I was having (always cold, always tired, complete lack of sex drive …). She also mentioned that I could have PCOS brought on by my weight gain, which is ironic to me because from what I’ve read, the PCOS can cause weight gain. It’s like a Catch-22 all up in here.

I knew this – I knew I had been carrying too much around for too long. I’ve just always preferred lounging on the couch to exercising and eating delicious comfort food to salads. And drinking way to much diet soda. And I knew I had to stop doing all that.

But this time, something in my brain just clicked. A lot of times, I would throw myself full force into “healthy” – try to exercise, cut out all soda, eat only Lean Cuisine meals. And inevitably, I would burn out and be back to my slovenly ways.

I decided that instead of going full force, I was going to begin to modify my habits slightly and build them up over time. I wasn’t going to deny myself anything, I was just going to cut back on it. And I was going to let my willpower and determination to do most of the job. I figure if I can spend hours upon hours lost in a fantastical world, meticulously doing quests and making armor and crafting potions with no end in sight, then I can also tell myself to keep on the right track and stick to that.

My goal is not to lose weight though I anticipate that will be a slowly earned side effect. My goal is merely to change my lifestyle and start making better decisions without being miserable.

It is all baby steps.

We did find out that I have hypothyroidism, which is kind of what I suspected and why I asked the doctor to test me. This is partially due to genetics (my mom has it and has had it most of her life) and partially due to the symptoms I was exhibiting (see above). It’s not a big deal and can be treated with a pill that I take every day (and have started this week) but it’s nice to know that my instincts were right and hopefully, when things balance out, I will start to feel a change.

I’ve cut back on my diet soda intake. I always try to do this because I know I drink way too much – like, if I’m home, I can go through a two-liter in a day. In the past, I’ve tried stopping it all together and I was miserable. Just recently, I had cut back to only drinking it in the morning and switching over to water at lunch. But then I found myself still craving the soda and kept caffeine-free in the house which I would gorge on at night. Good because there was no caffeine, bad because I was still drinking too much soda. I was also buying two in the morning to keep me going so add that to my inventory. But this week, I limited myself to one 20-oz in the morning then switched over to water in the evening and that’s pretty much all I’ve stuck too. I’ve found that I am miserable until I get that one in the morning but for the rest of the day, I am perfectly fine. It’s almost getting to the point where all I’m craving in the morning is the caffeine as the soda tastes overly sweet and artificial when I do drink it. I also stopped buying soda for home. It used to be a panic if we were running low but for some reason, I just didn’t buy any this week and whenever I was craving a drink, I’d fill my glass up with ice cold water. And I’m ok with that. I even limited myself to buying three 20-oz soda when I went to the store on Friday night so that I could have one to wake up with each weekend morning  but not drink it the rest of the day. ²

The key was not keeping it in the house. Kind of like out of sight, out of mind. If it’s not here for me to habitually drink it, I have no choice but to drink water. And I am ok with that, especially if it’s ice cold.

The other thing I’ve done is just to keep reminding myself to make better food decisions. Every morning, I get a two hard boiled eggs from the cafeteria at work and a cup of yogurt with some granola and fruit. I only eat the egg whites, which give me an amazing burst of energy and fullness. And I let the yogurt and granola satiate the sweetness and carb craving. Working in a place with a cafeteria that serves these makes it extremely easy and if there’s one thing I’m motivated by, it’s ease. But I was worried about the weekend, partially because Steve likes to hit up the fast food joints for Saturday and/or Sunday morning breakfast and partially because we had no healthy alternatives in the house. So again, at the store Friday night, I bought some Yoplait Lite yogurt ³ with granola and figured I could attempt to boil some eggs at home. This worked out beautifully this morning when I had two eggs, done perfectly ⁴, and my yogurt while Steve made waffles. His waffles smelled delicious but I was too excited about my breakfast to care.

When it comes to lunch and dinners, it’s been a bit challenging too. I had salads two days at work and the other two days, I ate from the hot bar, choosing the fish and chicken over the red meat, the rice over the potatoes and asking for a heaping load of veggies. Three nights at home I made various recipes ⁵ that were filling and maybe not super-duper healthy but certainly no where near as bad as some of the alternatives. I also tried to make better choices when eating them – omitting the cheese and chips I normally have with the chili, using garden pasta ⁶ for the Lawry’s recipe. We went out to dinner on Thursday night to a place renown for the fried seafood and while I did cheat a little and ate some hush puppies ⁷ and a few bites of a sinfully delicious appetizer ⁸, I ultimately ordered their Caribbean jerk salmon and red rice, which was just as good if not better than the appetizers.

This what Steve got. A WHOLE flounder. Looks delicious but I don't think he even knew what he was getting into.

Yesterday morning, when Steve asked me if I wanted anything from McDonald’s, I told him an Egg McMuffin and one hash brown, instead of the sausage biscuit with cheese and two hash browns I normally get.

Today, I had Select Harvest Healthy Request soup for lunch. Instead of corn dogs. Which are still sitting in my freezer. Not even thinking about them though.

And the point to all this is that I ate better than I have been. Before, it was kind of just like, screw it, it all looks good let’s shove it all into my pie hole. Now, I think about what I’m eating and when I’m eating. I was still a bit hungry after lunch today but not awful and I know that’s more because I’m modifying what I’m eating. But instead of scrounging the cabinets, I just told myself I would eat later, got some water and continued on with my business.

I haven’t really deprived myself of anything either. Steve had some Oreos earlier the week and offered me one and I took it – but it was only one. We had a BBQ with some friends last night with pulled pork, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, baked beans and cheesy broccoli. I sampled it all but only in small portions and I stopped at one plate.

It is all diligance and being firm with myself. Reminding my brain that there are better choices and better foods that are just as delicious. And while it’s not the funnest thing in the world, because I do still get cravings, I certainly feel like it’s beneficial. I don’t feel so miserable after I eat, I am sleeping better, I have more energy. I still enjoy eating, which is a plus. And while I look forward to eating, since I am fighting hunger (which always happens when I start to modify my diet because I am ultimately eating less calories), I don’t view it as a hobby or a pastime or something to do when I’m bored. I eat when I’m hungry, even if it’s late at night and then I try to keep it small and healthy.

I know we’re only a week in but something about it feels different, more concrete than any other time. Maybe because they are small steps. Maybe because I finally had someone outside tell me that this is important. Maybe because I finally realized that I just need to suck it up and do it. But I am enjoying it, enjoying challenging myself, enjoying reminding my brain to fight back and not make the bad decisions ⁹.

Maybe it’s because I’ve already conquered one Everest that I have strength for the whole mountain range.

Whatever it is, it sure feels good and I can only hope it lasts! Because if this is what life is like when challenge yourself, I don’t want to go back.

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Sunday Evening | Read: One comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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I have a love-hate relationship with cooking. For the most part, I love finding new recipes to try and actually enjoy cooking on the weekends. But I don’t really like recipes that are too labor intensive or make a wreck of the kitchen. This is especially true on week nights when all I want to do is come home to a hot meal that requires minimal effort and even less cleanup.

Because of this, anyone who has remotely discussed cooking with me will know that I LOVE my slow cooker (aka crock pot, as I’ve always known it). There is something so awesome about being able to dump a bunch of ingridients in the pot and letting them cook all day then come home to a delicious smelling house and a warm meal that requires no more effort than dumping the finished product into a bowl and shoving it in my face.

This is a recipe that I’ve been for about a year now. It’s kind of my version of Italian wedding soup that I’ve modified along the way to accomodate our cooking needs and tastes. I ran across a version on a blog somewhere that required you to cook it on the stove and I thought to myself that I could make it in the crock pot and have been doing it ever since.

My goal is to make the ingredients easy to obtain and store so you don’t have to rush to make it before any fresh produce expires. It’s also easily modified to fit your tastes. And it is so, so delicious on a cold winter’s night – or anytime of year, really. Because of the broth, I think it works year round.

Slow Cooker Italian Wedding Soup

• 1 package frozen Italian-style meatballs. I use Mama Lucia’s or Farm Rich. Approximately 32oz bag size.
• 1 package frozen chopped spinach. Usually I use the boxes (~ 10 oz) but today I had a larger bag (~1 lb) and used about 3/4 of that because I wanted MORE SPINACH!
• 1-2 boxes of chicken broth (32 oz)
• Spices to taste: Italian seasoning, garlic powder, minced onions, salt and pepper.
• 1 package frozen cheese tortellini. Sometimes I use the fresh Buitoni if I can’t find the frozen stuff – either is good.
• 1/2 bag frozen carrots (optional)

Place the meatballs in the slow cooker. Add a bit of the seasonings on top. Use more of the Italian seasoning but don’t go overboard because the Italian style meatballs usually have a lot in it already. A pinch of the minced onions and garlic powder. On top of that add the spinach. If you’re using bagged chopped spinach, you can kind of beat it on the counter to loosen it up and then put it in the pot frozen. If it’s in the box form, I usually heat it up a bit but not completely – this just gives it a chance to spread out over the meatballs instead of cooking as one square. If you’re adding the carrots, do it now. Steve enjoys it like this, I don’t know if it’s really traditional, per se but who cares, it fits our tastes. I don’t eat carrots so I just eat around them.

Once you’re done adding these ingredients, pour the box of chicken broth in and stir the ingredients so they get good and covered. Now here’s a bit of a difference – in the picture above, I used one box of broth. The soup then turns out more meaty than “soupy”. Everything tastes delicious and there’s usually enough liquid for it to be soupy but still feel substantial. But if you want it with more broth than ingredients, I would add another box of chicken broth.

Once you’ve added the broth, cover and cook on low for about 8 hours. Again, the slow cooker is fairly forgiving – I could see this being done in probably four or five hours but if I leave it on during my workday too, it’s still perfectly done.

Here’s the kicker: thirty minutes before serving, add the tortellini and turn it up to high. This is important! Tortellini goes in last – don’t add it in the morning – and don’t forget to add it completely, like I did one night.

Once it’s done, garnish with some parmesan cheese and dip some crackers in it and you’ve got a delicious hearty meal! Also, I’m pretty sure if you didn’t want the cheese tortellini you could substitute some smaller pasta in there. Maybe even some ravioli or gnocchi!

So delicious! Time for another bowl!

© Kristy for four23.org, 2012. Leave a Comment: Recipe: Easy Slow Cooker Italian Wedding Soup | Read: No comment Elsewhere: Twitter | Flickr | Tumblr | Interesting Reads

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