Little Mama Has a Birthday

Today is Little Mama’s birthday. I won’t tell you how old she is because no matter how old I am or the fact that I’m considerably larger than she is, she’d kick my tail if I did so. And if you’ve ever met my mom, you know I’m not too far from the truth there. At 5’1 she’s a pistol and one not to be reckoned with. I say quite often that Cassie is just like her – small but mighty. What she (they) lack in size, they make up for in might.

Growing up, I spent many summers away which was my parents way of not having me home alone for 2 1/2 months. Several of those years were spent outside of Baltimore with my Aunt Jean and Uncle Chuck. A few of the trips, my Grandmother Lawrence and I would head up on a Greyhound bus but after she passed away, I was carted up by car. One summer my parents, along with their best friends at the time, decided to drive me up and drop me off on their way to Canada (?). So, here we are – the 5 of us are tooling up Highway 301 (my dad always took the back route “It’s faster!”), I’m in the back seat with Judy and Larry when all of a sudden we come up on this other car. Before I know what’s happening, my mother rolls down the window, LEANS OUT the window (at 65 MPH) and starts screaming at the guy in the car next to us “GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU ROAD HOG!”. I can still remember being in complete shock and awe, thinking she had lost her mind and that we were about to get killed by this guy. Turns out it was just some guy she worked with who happened to be on the same path as us. What are the odds…

It’s moments like those that I love. She’s a quiet person who doesn’t particularly like being the center of attention or around a lot of people. I used to worry that she wasn’t having fun but finally realized that she was just that way. She’s reserved and doesn’t show her emotions – sometimes to a fault which can be tricky when you have a daughter like me who airs everything and then moves on. Since my dad passed away 4 years ago, out relationship has evolved to a completely different level. My dad was always the one who “conversed” so we’ve had to figure out how to talk to each other without him as the ringleader. We’ve had some bumps learning how to do that, but I think we’re finally at a point where we get each other. She tickles me with the things that she says and she’s a good sport (for the most part) for my teasing. I’ve finally realized that I’m really all the family that she has and have promised us both that it’s a role that I take seriously.

I’m so proud of how she’s come into herself since my dad passed. She travels, she works out at the gym, she does yard work and she’s even dating. This woman who used to be so passive and sit in the background to my dad’s very large personality has butterflied into this magical creature that just amazes me. I never know what’s going to pop out of her mouth when she calls me and breathlessly says “Guess what?!”.

So, on this 16th day of May – I want to wish a loving Happy Birthday to the woman who put me on this earth and who I love more than anything. No matter what ribbings I may give her.

I love you Mom. Thank you for all that you are and I’m grateful for the relationship and friendship that we have.

Kristen

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Unnoticed Moms

I wish I’d seen this before Mother’s Day but hey… better late than never. Cute little video about all the little things that Moms do every day that go unnoticed. Enjoy and love to all my mom friends!!

Kristen

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Our Life Eleven Years Ago

It started on Mother’s Day 2001. I was in the kitchen, 900 months pregnant, cooking my own Mother’s Day dinner (salmon cakes. I was pregnant, remember?) watching out the window as Steve was trying to teach Mackenzie how to ride a bike. Every 2 minutes I felt like I had to pee which was a major inconvenience when you’re trying to cook dinner. Except every time I went, I didn’t have to go which was even MORE of an inconvenience. I started to wonder if it wasn’t pee but rather my water starting to do something. I put a call into the doc and a little bit later, got the call to head to the hospital.

Fact: I have driven myself to the hospital for every single one of the girl’s birth.

I won’t bore you with my labor story (it was the worst of the 3) but here we are, eleven years later and we’re celebrating the wonder in our family named Sydney Elizabeth. If you have had the pleasure to meet her, you’ll recognize what’s coming next. But for those who don’t, let me tell you about Sydney – or Syd as she’s more often called.

She’s our entertainer. I know all parents think their kids are funny, but Syd’s really funny. From the time she was upright, she’s had us in stitches. She likes to be the center of attention, but in a good way. She’s a natural ham and can do improv with the best of them. Need proof? Check out this (short) video of her at 3 doing air guitar to Scooby:

She’s messy little klutz. This kid could walk into a sterile room and somehow, someway, dirt would find her. I tell her to go wipe her face and she will cleanse the entire surface except for the big blog of chocolate that made me tell her to go wash in the first place. She’s the one who had the first broken arm at age 3, stitches the day before her first day of 1st grade and there’s not a corner in this house that she hasn’t railed into. I cringe each time she leaves the house and breathe a sigh of relief when she gets home.

She’s smart. She’s the one that does her homework on the bus and effortlessly gets A’s and B’s. We try to tell her that if she just turned it up a notch, she’d be a straight A student but really… how do you argue with what she’s already doing. She’s an enthusiastic learner. I can’t tell you how many notes have been sent home from school telling us how great Sydney is but that she’s a bit of a chatterbox. In reality, we know what’s happening is that she’s SO excited that she knows the answers that she’s about to bounce out of her seat to be the first one to answer. Of course, she’s probably going to be the one who gets the snot popped out of her for reminding the teacher that they forgot to assign homework.

She loves to sleep. I have a collection of photos from when she was 3 and 4 of her sleeping. Nothing odd, I realize except the kid could fall asleep anywhere. Sitting up with her blankie over her head like a bird, in a diner in NYC with a grilled cheese sandwich in her hand, laid out over the coffee table. It didn’t matter where she was (or is), if Sydney’s tired, she’s going to go to sleep.

She’s considerate. Ever since she was a little if she had money to spend and we went to the store, not only was she buying something for herself – she was buying something for her sisters. And giving a lot of thought to what she thinks they’d like. This year for our anniversary, she ordered a customized chocolate bar for us after she saw one that I received as a thank you gift. Ordered and paid for with her own money.

She’s a saver. I’m not sure where she got this trait from (my mom, I think) but this kid can pinch a penny like you wouldn’t believe. If she wants something big, she saves her money and looks for extra ways around the house to add to her collection. We sent her on vacation this year with $200 to spend. She came home with $150.

She’s passionate. This goes both ways… she’s a love bug who loves to give hugs and kisses and hold my hand. When I meet her at the bus, she comes running full speed to greet me. It’s the best part of my day – even if she knocks me flat on my tail. Just as passionately as she loves, she fights. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to but when she has a meltdown, it is of the 5-alarm, nuclear variety. There is no reasoning with her and I’ve found the only thing that will get it under control is to resort to holding and hugging her.

So, that’s my girl. Our middle daughter Sydney, who today is 11. I love you baby. Happy Birthday

Kristen

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Who Are the People In Your Neighborhood…

We live in an older neighborhood. Both literally and figuratively. There aren’t many kids around and of them, Cassie’s close to being the youngest even at the old age of 9. If having a name attached to it is a requirement for a neighborhood, then we may not even qualify to be considered being one.

There are a lot of things that I like about our neighborhood… no cookie cutter homes that were all the rage 10 years ago and we have land. Just over a half acre, but even that’s unheard of today. We live on a cul-de-sac where, for the most part, we all get along and even get together a couple of times a year for a good, old-fashioned potluck. There’s no better place to be on the 4th than in our cul-de-sac… having a couple of law enforcement agents as neighbors means we get to pop off the good fireworks… none of that crap you get in the WalMart parking lot.

But, one of the the things that I hate is that since there is no HOA, we don’t have someone to run around and shove notices in mailboxes when people start getting a little carried away with things. We have two houses – in prime location (meaning – you can’t NOT see them when you pull in) that are nothing short of an eyesore. The one on the left looks like a used car lot – they even park diagonally to fit more in. I’m not sure how many family members are living there but on any given day, there are at least 8 in the driveway.

Then we have the house on the right (and directly across from Bob’s Tote the Note) who at last count has six cars, a fully functioning RV (yes, it’s plugged in and being lived in) and a land-docked pontoon boat:

Every day I pull into our neighborhood, I see this and it’s driving me nuts. I feel like I’m living on Redneck Lake without the joy of the water.  I had a brief moment of hope a couple of weeks ago when one of the trucks was backed up to the boat. Hooray! They’re taking it home! To the lake! No such luck. I swear to you, I think they were just moving it to a more permanent location and now it sits on blocks.

I guess it could be worse. I could be my friend Ann who lives directly across the street from both of them.

Kristen

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Eight Things Moms REALLY Want for Mothers Day

Mother’s Day is right around the corner which is the not-so-subtle hint that if you haven’t gotten Mom something, you better get on it. Or else. This woman is either the person who birthed you (or your spouse) or who birthed your children. Honestly, that’s reason enough. I could stop right there and be done with this post.

But of course, I won’t.

So, you’re not sure what to get Mom? Here are a few suggestions to help:

1. This is the woman who puts up with endless amounts of crap from everyone – it’s either oozing out one end or spewing out the other, but moms put up with more crap than a stableboy at Churchill Downs. For this she deserves Shari’s Berries covered in chocolate.
2. She’s the one who always makes it happen. No one knows what the magic “it” is, but leave it to Mom to get it done. You forgot to tell her you need snacks for your class? Mom can open up the magic cupboard and magically make something appear. You don’t see the magic bottle that helps Mommy get it done, but that’s okay.. it’s magic, remember? Help mom be prepared and get her a Wine of the Month Club membership.
3. Need to go from point A to point B back to A and then over to C before you go to D? All in 30 minutes? No problem – Mom’s a logistics expert. It also helps that she has a couple of cop friends phone numbers programmed in her speed dial since she’s going to be hauling ass to get you there. For this, mom deserves a Richard Petty drive experience. Obviously, to get you to all those places, she’s going to need to know how to outrun them.
4. Mom’s the one who usually gets stuck with homework duty. I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that she’s older than dirt and doesn’t know squat, so how in the world can she EVER figure out the new math that leaves no child behind? Help your poor Mama and get her a new Mac. This way she can look for Pie recipes while looking for the value of Pi.
5. All that screaming that you do is making Mom deaf. You yell demands down the stairs. You yell at your siblings. You yell at your friends because your music is so loud they can’t hear you. Yelling is just wicked cool, isn’t it? Mom doesn’t want Advil. Mom wants Bose noise canceling headphones. Trust me… mom won’t care if you yell then. Yell away.
6. Memories… sweet, sweet memories. Sadly, they’re fleeting and with all the mundane, day to day tasks that mom has to do, she’s probably going to forget when you lost your first tooth, said your first word or caught your first flyball (what the hell is a flyball anyhow?). She needs help and what better way to help her remember YOUR life than to give her a Chamilia bracelet. Next time you have some major event, make sure you buy a bead before you tell her about it. Trust me – she’ll remember then.
7. There are these things in the house that collect trash. They’re usually round and placed in strategic locations so that you don’t have to go too far to find one. Obviously, the middle of the floor wasn’t the strategic location you were thinking of since that’s where you drop your stuff. And have you ever noticed that the dishwasher is conveniently located right next to the sink where you just dumped your ice-cream bowl? Stunning, isn’t it? Mom’s tired of being the only person in the house capable of bending over at the waist. Mom wants a maid service so she can come home to a clean house – even if it’s only for an hour.
8. Once upon a time, there was this lady named Kristen (feel free to put your mom’s name there) and she met this incredible guy named Steve (put your dad’s name there). They had a different life before the kids came along and while their life is bigger and better now, they miss their couple time. Mom likes to get dressed for Dad and Dad likes to open the doors and all that sickeningly sweet stuff for Mom. Maybe you should think of sending mom and dad off for a trip. Alone. Or if that’s too much.. a gift certificate to a restaurant that doesn’t have a kids menu. Yeah. That would be nice, too.

Bonus Tip: And if all else fails… write Mom a really long letter and really tell her how much you      appreciate her. If you feel compelled to buy something, buy her a box of tissues to go with it. It’s so rare that we hear that not only do we exist, but you’re happy that we exist that we’ll be blubbering idiots by the time we’re finished.

So, see… Mom’s not hard to buy for! All you have to do is look around the house and you’ll find hundreds of ideas!

Now, make haste and figure out what you’re getting mom. And I’d love to hear what you decided on! Moms – what else can we add to this list?

Kristen

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Wordless Wednesday: Our Spring Visitors

Every spring it happens… we uncover the pool and they arrive. No, not the neighborhood kids or the food and beer toting friends. Our early guests are some of the smallest frogs (or toads? can’t remember the difference) who are the loudest things I’ve ever heard. You know how you love to open the windows and doors to let the spring air in? Yeah, we can’t do that because when we do, we can’t hear each other speak much less Alex Trebek on Jeopardy.

Think I’m lying when I say they’re small? Here you go -

I actually have sound and really wish I could figure out a way to insert it here just so you can hear how obnoxious these little fellas are…

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Money and the Recession: Full Disclosure?

Here’s the obvious statement of the day: times are tough for almost everyone. Those who never used budgets to manage their money have started to and those who had them before the recession have tightened them up. Some families have weathered the storm with little financial impact and others have had the wind knocked out of their sails.

Personally, we’ve done “okay” the past few years in this God awful recession.. not great but we’re still standing (so far). We’ve knocked on a lot of wood and realized that stressing over it doesn’t do anything except rob us of the little moments when there is laughter and fun times.  As far as money goes, I figure we’ve been thru worse before and we’ll come out ahead in the end. We’re healthy and we’re together. Believe me – a lot of our friends don’t have that going for them.

But, every day, it seems as though we’re besieged with requests from someone for something – usually monetary in nature. There’s the end of year school things: yearbooks, teacher gifts, art projects, camp fees, spring and summer clothing – the list is endless.  Granted, they’re not huge amounts of money but when you put them all together and multiply it by 3, it can turn into a small fortune. And, let’s not even talk about vacations.. this year it’s just not happening. Even though we could all use one.

I don’t mind that I have to do without – I’m used to it. We don’t change our cars every two years or even every five years.  The to-do list of maintenance items around our house is creeping up on huge. I just absolutely hate telling my kids no when they’re faced with kids who get yes 24/7. I’m not saying that I would give them everything even if we were able to – I think it’s important that they realize that getting everything you want is not a realistic expectation. It may be harsh, but I think they need to understand that our family isn’t like the family that’s parented by two doctors salaries but we’re still better off than a lot of others. Still, nothing makes you (or at least me) feel worse than saying no more often than you get to say yes.

The thing that I struggle with at times like these is disclosure. How much do kids need to know? Is it sufficient to say “we can’t afford it” or do you go into more detail – Daddy lost his job, the mortgage is late, etc.? Is that too much information? More than they can handle? Do you treat it like the sex talk and give as much information as you can until they finally bore of the topic? My biggest problem is that no matter how much or how little I say to them, it doesn’t seem to get thru and pretty soon, the requests start up and once again, I’m left feeling like I’m letting them down.

I’d love to know – how do you manage the expectations, requests and sometimes the denial of things that they want?

Kristen

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Favorite TV Shows That Ended Before Their Time

I don’t watch many tv shows but the ones that I watch, I really love. My favorites over the years have been across the board but the one thing that’s
consistent is that I always hate when they come to an end. I realize they all have to end (unless it’s the Simpsons… I don’t thing that show will ever end) but I always hate when they do.

Since next weekend brings us the finale of one of my favorites (Desperate Housewives) I started thinking about the ones that I really hated to see go.

Guiding Light - I watched this show from the time I was a latch-key kid in the 3rd grade almost religiously, until it ended in 2009. I lived to see what the evil Spauldings were up to, loved the family moments of the Bauers, the sophistication of the Chamberlains and the crazy Cooper and Reardon families. I lost touch with the show during my working days but like any good soap opera, I could tune in at any given time and know exactly what was going on.  I thought they did a great job for the series finale when once again Josh and Reva were together for what we can only hope is forever. Fact: I got the chance to meet Kim Zimmer at what was then the GGO when I was in middle school. Yes… I was awe struck and she was gracious. Still miss that show.

Las Vegas - This was one of those tv shows that had very little redeaming qualities to it but then again – it is TVLand. Somehow though, it pulled you in and those of us who liked the show, really, really liked it. It had Josh Duhamel, James Caan, James Lesure, Vanessa Marcil, Josh Duhamel (wait.. already said him), Molly Sims and in the end the always endearing Tom Selleck (it’s a sin he still is as hot now as he was when he was Magnum). What ticked me off on this one is that it became a victim of the writers strike and they just ended it… no end the storyline of Danny and Delinda’s pregnancy. Nothing. Just zip. Done. I’m still bitter over that one.

Brothers & Sisters - Speaking of being bitter. This was another one of those tv shows that didn’t get the end that it deserved. Just a nasty, unceremonious pull of the plug. This show was a definite sleeper that had a small but passionate audience. I mean – the maven of the family was Sally Field! How do you pull the plug on NORMA RAE?? Really? And while some aren’t fans of Calista Flockhart, she was amazing on this show. So unfair they didn’t give the Walker family a proper goodbye.

Beverly Hills, 90210 - Oh. My. God. Still one of my all time favorite tv shows. Heaven help me should I be flipping thru channels and come across a 90210 episode or worse – a marathon.  I guess because this show started just a couple of years after I graduated high school that it resonated with me and all of my friends but there wasn’t an episode that I didn’t love. From the Dylan and Brenda love saga to Kelly fighting to find her inner strength and self esteem to David and Donna committing to a relationship without sex (until THAT fateful night), in my opinion, it was the first show to show a true opinion of high school. Well, as true as it could be considering the zipcode. And I promise you, I tried to embrace the “new” 90210 but even with them adding original cast members to the show, I just couldn’t do it.

Desperate Housewives - This one ends next weekend and I am sad to see the women of Wisteria Lane go. This show started off strong in the beginning and then almost “jumped the shark” in seasons 3 and 4. Thankfully, Marc Cherry saw this and did one of those flash forward moves that took us 5 years into the future and the ladies were back.  The 4 main characters are as different as they come, but the one thing that they all held true to is their friendships to each other. I like how this last season has progressed and I have no doubt that next weekends finale will be fitting of the stories that have been woven over the past 8 years.

24 - Sigh. How I miss this show. Not just because I adore Kiefer Sutherland but it really was a great show. Yes, the last couple of seasons weren’t as great as the first ones but how can you resist Jack Bauer? I mean really. Who can solve all the worlds problems without one single bathroom break. Kiefer’s got a new show now – which isn’t too bad – but I just can’t watch anything with him in it without waiting for him to shout “DAMMIT!” – even his voiceovers in the Bank of America ads. DAMMIT! Take your card from the ATM!

What shows have ended that you miss?

Kristen

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Domestic Help versus Doing it Yourself

Dawana over at A Bittersweet Existence is pregnant. And pregnant women tend to get fidgity, bored and fiesty. Sometimes all at the same time. Last week, Dawana was sitting around being all three of those and thought that writing posts that were based on one random question bouncing thru her head would be a good idea. I see her tweet and said to her… we should go head to head with the same question! I mean we’re obviously very similar (I mean, we like each other so that’s similar, right?!) yet very different. I live on the East coast, she lives in the Rockies. I am a redhead and she wants to be.

Sounds good to me!

Today’s post is the first question that popped into Dawana’s head. I’m thinking she’s frustrated based on the question:

If you could have any household helper, what would it be?
Nanny, Maid, Personal Chef, etc.
Why? 

That’s an easy one.

Maid.

Why? Well, because? Why not? Okay.. not good enough.

I don’t need a nanny anymore. Lucky for me, my offspring are now either old enough to stay by themselves or stay together when we go out.  The only 2 things I ask of them when they do stay alone is 1) Don’t kill each other and 2) Don’t call me. Especially if #1 has happened. Just pack your bags and go.

A personal chef would be nice, but since the Rooster works from home AND is an amazing cook, I’ve got that covered. I’m sure the Rooster would like to have a personal chef, but this is my story – not his.

So, of the 3 options Dawana gave me, that leaves me with a maid and to that I say “yes – give me two please”.  Again, since this is my story – I get to make this maid any way I want so I would want a maid who was here every day. She doesn’t have to be here all day but to have someone magically find places for all of the girls crap, tidy up daily, deep clean weekly and rescue me from the pile of laundry that we affectionately refer to as Mount Laundress, I would weep in gratitude.

No more walking by the laundry room to this:

Piles and piles of clean laundry. If this is really Mount Laundress, I’m thinking it’s more of a volcano than a mountain. Mountains are happy places! Volcanos are full of fire and eruption.

See… we don’t mind DOING laundry. Washing and drying is a piece of cake. Somehow, that’s where it gets stuck though. No one wants to finish it. Not me or the Rooster (we’ve been doing it for over 30 years) and certainly not the wee hens. It’s beneath them. So my maid would come in with the smile on her face, feather duster in hand and magically – all would be right with the world!

So yes, dear Dawana… my choice is maid.

What would your choice be of the three?

Kristen

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