Freckled Citizen

Deja vu all over again

2016-02-05T15:57:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the only way to start is just to start, however unartfully and inarticulately. So this is me, starting. Again. Surely I can do better than four blog posts in all of 2015.

So here's where things stand:

My little people are awesome. They're 22 months apart, but if Charlie had the power he'd shrink that number right down to nothing. He watches her constantly. Smiles when she smiles, laughs when she laughs, looks on jealously when she's eating, watches her move and tries his hardest to keep up. It's hilarious and touching and a lot of fun. Oh: there will be birth stories!
Remember this post? A few of you commented or wrote me that it seemed like I was writing about being pregnant before I could tell anyone I was pregnant. It's true that I was pregnant then, but I was actually writing about work. 2015 did not go according to plan professionally. So I took a longer-than-last-time maternity leave to sort it all out. And now I'm back - same place, but new clients. So we'll see.
Oh, but the content of that post, the point? Well that's why I'm here, because it all still applies. Work just got crazier when it was supposed to settle down and I buried myself in it until I couldn't breathe. So I'm breathing again, and back to feeling normal, and therefore wanting to write again and have a little outlet here. So let's just pretend that was dated 2016, okay?
What is "normal" for a working mom of two, by the way? Because I don't know. I feel messy and disorganized and overextended but bursting with love. Also: tired. I'm guessing that's all very normal, actually.
T and I are trying our best to keep our babysitter booked. That was our resolution together for the year. We went to the movies last weekend, our first time in a theater since I was pregnant with Hazel. I'm determined to see at least three Best Picture nominations before the Oscars, which will be a heck of a lot better than the last few years. (And yes, this from the person who saw every film in every category, including all the Shorts, a couple of mere dependents ago!)
So I'm trying with pop culture. That's something, right? [Obligatory shoutout to "Spotlight," which is incredible and makes me yearn for my "promising journalist" days in Boston. Oh, youth!]
Politics and current events are happening. There is an election. I have a candidate! I finally figured it out for myself this week. (Better late than never - more soon.) In the meantime, there are idiots in the CDC publishing guidelines like this, but then there is this, thankfully. As usual, humor is the best remedy.
On the homefront, we are still in our 1906 DC rowhome, bursting to the seams with OMGplastic and OMGonefullbathroom. We finally redid our backyard, which I know I never blogged about. We're talking with folks now about The Big Digout. Finished basement, here we come! Gulp.
Blogging seems so quaint now. Remember when it was cutting edge? Now it feels so old school and long form, which is maybe why I crave it. Keep me honest over on Twitter and Instagram if I don't blog again for three more months, okay? Because I really want to be back soon.
Related: I never quite survived the Google Reader massacre. What do you all use to keep up with blogs now?

He's here!

2015-09-24T14:34:00.000-04:00

I'm popping up to say hello, and as a mama of TWO!

Charles Gardner Hanger, our very own Charlie boy, was born one week late on September 4. He was 9 lbs, 21.5 inches, and is all kinds of awesome. Hazel - and her parents - are smitten.

The perfect good news dinner party dish

2015-05-15T15:29:00.001-04:00

Let's backtrack. Again. (One day I'll write this blog in real time again, promise.)

In January we invited our dear friends over for dinner. They didn't know it, but it was a total setup. Not only were we planning to surprise them with the news that we were pregnant again, but we planned to really surprise them by asking if they'd be Hazel's godparents. Clearly, a damn good dinner was necessary.

Even though I've owned the Momofuku cookbook for years, I've always flipped right past David Chang's bo ssam recipe. This NYT Cooking piece, though, got my attention, which links back to this longer piece. A "recipe to win the dinner party sweepstakes?" Okay then!

The magic of this meal is that it's not at all difficult to put together. It's timely, yes - you'll need to plan in advance so the pork can sit overnight. But compared with lots of the "oh, this is simple!" recipes that I try to throw together when company is over, forgetting that I actually want to be able to converse with company instead of cook up until we're seated, this recipe is tailor-made for being able to enjoy your guests. And honestly? One of the best meals we've cooked all year.

We toasted Baby Dos. LG and B said yes to our big question. We all squealed and hugged and cried. And then we almost died at the deliciousness of the food. Make this dish for your next good news dinner, and then you'll have even more to toast.

Momofuku's Bo Ssam

Serves 6-8

Ingredients

PORK BUTT:

1 whole bone-in pork butt or picnic ham (8 to 10 pounds)

1 cup white sugar

1 cup plus 1 tablespoon kosher salt

7 tablespoons brown sugar

GINGER-SCALLION SAUCE:

2 ½ cups thinly sliced scallions, both green and white parts

½ cup peeled, minced fresh ginger

¼ cup neutral oil (like grapeseed)

1 ½ teaspoons light soy sauce

1 scant teaspoon sherry vinegar

½ teaspoon kosher salt, or to taste

SSAM SAUCE:

(DC peeps - you can find your ssamjang, kochujang and kimchi at the Korean stand inside Eastern Market! The owner makes it herself.)

2 tablespoons fermented bean-and-chili paste (ssamjang, available in many Asian markets, and online)

1 tablespoon chili paste (kochujang, available in many Asian markets, and online)

½ cup sherry vinegar

½ cup neutral oil (like grapeseed)

ACCOMPANIMENTS:

2 cups plain white rice, cooked

3 heads bibb lettuce, leaves separated, washed and dried

1 dozen or more fresh oysters(optional)

Kimchi (available in many Asian markets, and online)

Directions

Place the pork in a large, shallow bowl. Mix the white sugar and 1 cup of the salt together in another bowl, then rub the mixture all over the meat. Cover it with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for at least 6 hours, or overnight.

When you're ready to cook, heat oven to 300. Remove pork from refrigerator and discard any juices. Place the pork in a roasting pan and set in the oven and cook for approximately 6 hours, or until it collapses, yielding easily to the tines of a fork. (After the first hour, baste hourly with pan juices.) At this point, you may remove the meat from the oven and allow it to rest for up to an hour.

Meanwhile, make the ginger-scallion sauce. In a large bowl, combine the scallions with the rest of the ingredients. Mix well and taste, adding salt if needed.

Make the ssam sauce. In a medium bowl, combine the chili pastes with the vinegar and oil, and mix well.

Prepare rice, wash lettuce and, if using, shuck the oysters. Put kimchi and sauces into serving bowls.

When your accompaniments are prepared and you are ready to serve the food, turn oven to 500. In a small bowl, stir together the remaining tablespoon of salt with the brown sugar. Rub this mixture all over the cooked pork. Place in oven for approximately 10 to 15 minutes, or until a dark caramel crust has developed on the meat. Serve hot, with the accompaniments.

This crazy beautiful thing that happened

2015-03-12T10:27:00.000-04:00

Flashback: the week of Christmas, 2014. Work drama per usual, running around like mad, getting ready for work while mentally compiling the list of gifts to finish wrapping and the final things to do before driving to NC for the holiday. A pregnancy test, just taken, was tallying its result. Not that the chances were great it'd be positive - after three years and seemingly endless interventions to get pregnant with Hazel, this was the very first month we were officially trying to have #2. So there I was again, temping and charting, even though we both admitted to each other that the sound of my basal body thermometer's beeps in the morning gave us PTSD reactions. I figured I'd rather know the result alone in our house than during the rest of the week's craziness, when we'd be spending two days in NC followed by two days in CT. By the time I started showering I'd actually sort of forgotten about the test, my mind was so full of things to do that day. I reached for the body wash and happened to look over. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. Was that...? Surely that isn't...?

But it was. Holy crap, it was positive.

Talk about surreal. So much effort the first time that we didn't dare wait a second longer than necessary to try for #2, in case we were in for another three-year journey of outrageously costly medical hell. So no, we didn't dare wait... but that didn't mean we really had hope, either.

We told our families right away, later that week, toasting to our Christmas miracle. We were cautiously optimistic that everything would be okay at that first ultrasound. Having had sad news at a previous ultrasound, we steeled ourselves for the worst. We told ourselves that even if this pregnancy wasn't viable, at least we knew we could get pregnant on our own - that simple knowledge felt absolutely revolutionary to us, after all we'd been through. Everything looked great, though. A tiny little bean with a great heartbeat. Each time we checked in, that bean grew bigger and was doing more tricks. Sucking a thumb, spinning around, kicking. A happy camper with a due date of August 28.

We knew from the start that we'd find out the sex. I'm too much of a planner to wait to know - I need the information yesterday. I didn't have an instinct one way or another this time, but found myself thinking more about a boy than a girl as time went on. At the end of February those boy thoughts panned out - our bean (whom we'd taken to calling "Dos") was a he! A little brother for Hazel - too, too good.

Two kids has been our number for a long time, and knowing that #2 is a boy helps cement that thought for us. We'll be a family of four, with a boy and a girl 21.5 months apart. Life is going to be crazy and wonderful and beautiful, and when I stop to catch my breath and consider that, I can't stop smiling.

This year.

2015-01-25T21:09:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to write this post for a month. It's hard to find much time lately. But on the plus side, here I am, actually writing it, not letting it fall to the wayside like so many fun recipes, posts about life events, posts about silly things, posts like Hazel's birth story. (For the record, she is 14 months old now... oops.)

This is a resolution post. See, I have lots of goals for this year, lots of little things and lots of "that would be nice" things and some other biggies, too. But as 2014 turned to 2015, the one that stuck in my head the most was that this year more than anything, I need to recapture my creativity. I am lucky beyond belief to be a mom to little H, to be married to someone who still floors me and delights me more than I can possibly express, and to be a successful professional who, although more harried than not these days, is able to find some personal value in her career. I'm so lucky to have all of that and to be able to live comfortably. I know how many are struggling today to get by, which is to say, I don't want to sound like an entitled snob complaining without seeing her privilege. I am lucky and I know it.

But.

I desperately miss my creative outlets. I miss writing. I miss making things for fun - rooms, parties, dinners, moments. Like every other mom on the planet, my time is squeezed more than ever, and for the best of reasons. Every day is a balancing act and every week is an absolute juggle. I've always been happy with that pace - I'm the first to squirm if there's not enough to do. But to do the important things well - to be a good mom and a good partner and a good colleague who manages not to cave into work stress but instead to navigate my team around it - I've dropped this world here, which has always been my special place, just for me. It was a survival decision and it was the right one, given those other biggies being juggled, but that doesn't mean it isn't difficult.

Tonight I was (virtually) home alone - Hazel asleep early with a cold, T at a coffee shop studying for a certification exam, and I cooked, just for me. I made a simple soup - nothing to write home about, although isn't a fresh, simple soup one of the most underrated meals there is? - and the experience was glorious. Cooking slowly, just for me. No timetable, no hungry companions, no recipe. That's the same me who misses this space.

I feel like I'm arriving at a crossroads and an inherent conflict that may well come to pass this year. I carry a level of stress with my day job that is not sustainable for the long haul. There is an end in sight, thankfully, although things will get worse before they get better. But then what? Is that the moment I've been waiting for, when I can recalibrate and bring back some of my interior world? Or will that moment instead be a real break, when I know I've crossed the (long, long, long-awaited) finish line, and I decide to do something entirely different with my life, something that will always give me the ability to maintain a little more interior space?

I don't know. And I'm not there yet, so I don't need to know. But this is coming for me, for 2015. It will either be a turning point or a new agreement with myself. But somehow, some way, I need more words, more air, more light, more spark.

To be continued...

One.

2014-11-18T15:36:00.001-05:00

One!

Oh how I love this kid.

To another Council of Equals

2014-10-30T14:15:00.002-04:00

Last weekend our dear friends LG and B were married at the DC War Memorial. It was a perfect ceremony - laughter, tears, full hearts, and so much love. We were so happy to be part of their day and to support a wedding of two individuals who quite simply belong together. That the District (and increasingly, the entire country) allows them to marry legally is an important reason why we love living here. Get a load of this gorgeousness:

As their wedding date got closer, T and I spent a lot of time reminiscing about our own wedding, five and a half years ago now. In lieu of favors we donated to Freedom to Marry, which felt like a big deal in 2009. In 2014, it'd be almost passe, which is pretty awesome. Thinking about how much ground has been covered in the simple effort to make love legal makes me all kinds of happy. (I mean seriously - check out this chart!)

At the LG&B reception - tipsy on champagne and oysters, per the me+B tradition - I read a poem for them that was part of our ceremony, too. This is my ode (well okay, Alice Walker's) to two complete individuals joining forces and, rather than meshing into the ubiquitous and boring "one" that so many folks seem to romanticize, each becoming doubly awesome in turn. The world needs more awesome, more LG+B, and more councils of equals. That's a world where I want to be.

Beyond What

Alice Walker

We reach for destinies beyond
what we have come to know
and in the romantic hush
of promises
perceive each
the other's life
as known mystery.
Shared. But inviolate.
No melting. No squeezing
into One.
We swing our eyes around
as well as side to side
to see the world.
To choose, renounce,
this, or that -
call it a council between equals
call it love.

Here, catching my breath

2014-10-28T16:38:00.000-04:00

It's the way things are these days... months pass in the blink of an eye. I can only say I hope to do better, that things should settle down in a few months. Then I'll no doubt begin the looking-back process on this time of my life and I may well marvel at everything that seemed to happen all at once. The work that comprised most of the insanity (which won't be captured here, but could easily fill a suspense novel), the dinners that were cooked (or ordered, depending on that day's stress level), the home improvements, the weekend guests or weekend trips, the changes in the lives of family and friends. There's been so much activity and then through all of it, this growing, incredible girl who makes everything else unimportant when she laughs. My baby is a real kid now, almost a year old.

It'll be good for me to forget some of the day-to-day happenings of these last few months, but I don't want to forget one thing about her. She's so much fun, this kid - so happy, so inquisitive, so funny, and so active. She's in such a hurry - a mouth full of teeth, standing solo, walking now with just one hand asking for ours, making leaps like mad. Getting to know her and cheer her on has been among the biggest joys I've ever known. Maybe she gets this hurry-hurry-hurry thing from me. Maybe in 2015 we can both take it easy a little bit.

(Ha!)

Victory is mine: Mustard Dill Salmon

2014-08-12T09:41:00.001-04:00

Optimists would say that T eating mustard dill salmon for dinner is a marriage victory. Pessimists would say it's the symbol of a man breaking down underneath an oppressive regime. I say... I don't care! I want to eat salmon for dinner and this is how I can do it.

See, years back, T was firmly in the No Salmon camp. I've always been Team Salmon, and much like my propaganda campaign for mushrooms, I decided I could turn him. The trick has been cooking salmon with other strong flavors that he really likes, such as mustard and dill. The guy goes crazy for dill from the garden. Enter: a winning, simple recipe! (And a killer mustard sauce.)

Mustard Dill Salmon

Feeds four - or two with leftovers

Ingredients

- 2-lb salmon fillet (wild Pacific salmon is best - avoid farmed Atlantic salmon)

- 8 oz sour cream (small container)*

- 3 tablespoons dijon mustard

- 1/3 cup fresh dill + extra

- 2 cloves garlic

- salt and pepper

- arugula (optional)

Directions

- Mustard sauce: Mix together the sour cream, mustard, dill, and garlic and allow them to sit while you prepare dinner. Add salt and pepper to taste. You'll end up with just over a cup of sauce.

- Heat up your grill

- Coat the salmon fillet with 1/3 of the mustard sauce and place it in an aluminum foil packet

- Cook the salmon in foil on a hot grill for 15 minutes

- Garnish with extra dill and serve alongside fresh greens (I like arugula for this)

- Serve the rest of your sauce at the table with the salmon and arugula

(PS: We served this dish with caponata - still a goodie!)

*I suspect you could substitute Greek yogurt for the sour cream here, with some tinkering, if you're so inclined.

Guest Room Complete! (ish)

2014-08-03T22:09:00.002-04:00

At some point you just have to call it a day and take the damn pictures, right? Our guest room is "done." And by that I mean I still need to switch out the ceiling fan from the 1980s, I don't love the chair pillow, and the curtain brackets needs to be re-installed wider, butbutbut... perfect is overrated. The way life is going, I'm just thrilled that I managed to repaint. This room is truly a breath of fresh air compared to the mishmash it was before, so I'm moving on from perfect and calling this a complete success! Here's our updated guest room, pulled together from lots of existing items and freshened up by springy green.

Sources
Wall Paint - Benjamin Moore Classic Gray
Bookcase Paint - Benjamin Moore Acadia Green
Curtains - Waverly One Wish fabric in Mint Julep
Bedding - Old West Elm with new Anthropologie throw pillow
Art, books, and accents - Stuff we already had
Rug - Shades of Light
Lamp - Ballard Design
Throw - Brahms Mount
Mirror - Hayneedle
Furniture - Existing stuff

Remembering why (the work edition)

2014-07-29T00:05:00.000-04:00

I flew. I pumped. I networked. I conquered.

The dreaded first business trip is complete. And honestly? It was great.

H was fine. We had milk to spare. My mother-in-law got some great grandbaby time. I got some great professional time. (T is still waiting for his great relaxation time.) It was good to get away and be out west again. It was good to remember the good work I've done in the past, to get recharged about the good work I'll do in the future.

The truth is, I love my weird corner of the professional universe, maybe especially because I never really meant to call it my own. Given the bubble of DC and my current project, connecting with other folks in my field and learning from other projects is something I need to do more than ever. And of course, in the constant juggling act that is working momhood, it's harder than ever to make it actually happen. Having a reason to go and an excuse to suck it up and make it happen? Critical. I worked on Tucson's streetcar project way back in late 2007/early 2008. These things take time, as we know. Back then I was chasing love much more than the idea that I'd be at the system opening in 2014. I'd only been in Dallas a few months when I worked on that FTA application - T and I were just figuring out how to live together. We'd adopted one cat, maybe two. There was not yet a marriage, a move to DC, a house, infertility, a baby girl. Those things struck me in Tucson last week, seeing this project go live in a cool little town that reminds me in so many ways of the great one I left behind seven years ago. It's funny how things work, because pursuing transit was the professional path that made my choice to leave Albuquerque for Dallas as practical as it was romantic. I miss New Mexico like mad, but the decision was the right one.

All these years later, this streetcar project and I ended up meeting again. That's one of the reasons I love community planning and transit projects - you can always visit. Sometimes we all need a reminder of why we do what we do, why the headaches are worth it, why the unnecessary drama is sometimes just something you need to work through until the smoke clears. Last week refreshed me, and being away from H helped me see the big picture, to be honest. Some day I want her to know that her mom's work matters to her because she believes her projects help make cities better places to live. What I do might not always look exactly like it does today, but I hope that broad definition will still fit. And even if I decide some day to buy that little bookstore I love in the Outer Banks and leave it all behind (note to self: need to inform husband of these plans first), we can visit my projects together, anytime we like: that streetcar a mile away from our house, or the one in Tucson or Dallas or Ft. Lauderdale, the commuter train in New Mexico, or spots scattered around the country that are maybe a little more vibrant than they used to be - the Lehigh Valley, the South Valley, the Piedmont, and more. The thing about this work is, you get to leave your mark.

As for traveling to visit one of those marks, it was a juggle of course, but not as bad as I'd feared. I timed things similarly to my office, found a few breaks in the schedule to steal away solo, had refrigerators in my rooms, traveled with ice, only filled my bags to 100 ML to speed up airport security (which I didn't even need to do, it turned out), and basically just made it work. As we do. The only real wrinkle was just an embarrassing one, and saved for the flight home. Despite verbal warnings insisting otherwise, congregating in the aisles is in fact still rampant on airplanes. I discovered this the hard way after pumping in the tiny airplane bathroom for just ten minutes to take the edge off (having learned my lesson from the flight over - ouch and oops), and exited to find the bathroom line literally running halfway down the plane. Seriously people? Oh, the dirty looks. (Although they might have thanked me when they realized I did no harm in there.) At any rate... at least my freezer woes are no more!

Windows and paint are my love language

2014-07-22T12:44:00.000-04:00

You know those stories about husbands failing miserably at life and romance by gifting their wife an appliance or a boring house item? Agree to disagree, because way back on Valentine's Day, T gifted me something I've been ogling for ages: plantation shutters.

LET THERE BE LIGHT.

We loved them from the start, but they were really a jumping-off point for all things windows. Classic, right? Pricey item leads only to pricier items. There's this house with new windows in between ours and Eastern Market that we walk by multiple times a week. Oh, those windows. I'd comment on them every time we walked by. Our neighborhood is filled with old homes with very old windows. I love the charm of our old house (1906!), but being unable to fully shut or open windows, having to prop things inside them, and needing to wrap up in blankets when sitting on the couch in the winter? Not cool. So when you notice new windows on an old house, they stick with you.

[Let's just agree at this point that fantasizing about windows makes me super-old and boring and move on, okay?]

We decided it couldn't hurt to learn more... just information-gathering, right? The window guy came over last spring and was pretty much the best window salesman in the history of window salesmen. We ooh'd. We aah'd. But with the backyard renovation coming up, we put it off. Then on Mother's Day, guess what T tell casually tells me as we're waking up?

"Oh hey, the window guy is coming over for final measurements at noon." So casual, but followed by a big grin. He knew. He'd decided without me to bite the bullet and do the front of the house now, with the rest to come later, after our backyard project. Installation happened last week.

Oh, did it happen.

Now back to that "jumping-off point" concept... Besides new windows, the other thing I've really, really wanted for the exterior of our house was new trim. I detest the cream color of our house trim - it's always looked dirty to me. The photo above is probably the best shot I've seen of the cream, and I'm sure that's because of the sunshine, shadows, and the new white windows. A couple of years ago I called around for trim paint quotes and received the craziest numbers - well over the cost to paint an entire exterior anywhere else. I put the idea to bed until our neighbor had a random guy out doing their trim. Random dude could do it for a fifth of the price and half the time - SOLD. Now we're bright, clean, and white. (Hi Eleanor!)

The white trim actually makes me like the color of our house now. We have more ideas to implement in the coming months and years - some paint detail and a new door, which might stay this color or might go glossy black. But it's been a big month for la casa, and I couldn't be happier.

Finally, because any good makeover has to include a before-and-after:

This is me, fully endorsing the idea of "boring house items" as gifts.

Cucumbers of days past

2014-07-21T18:07:00.000-04:00

One of my toes is covered with dried blood today, swelled twice its size. It isn't pretty. The reason for my disfigurement? Half classic klutz, half defective product, but all embarrassment: the handle of a 40-lb box of cat litter ripped off as I was carrying it this morning. At 6 a.m. While unloading it from our car on the street, wearing pajamas. (Of course.)

So I'm limping around today, kind of a straight-legged shuffle, which I am not very good at doing with any measure of grace. I'm normally a fast walker, weaving in and out of people to get where I'm trying to go as efficiently as possible. Not today. On my way back from lunch this afternoon (as I'm being passed by people in wheelchairs and tourists dragging suitcases), I had a vision that made me burst out laughing right on the sidewalk. (Ailing and crazy? That's me.) Suddenly I saw my late grandmother, smiling away and bringing up the rear with her cane or walker. "Here I come, Maggie," she liked to say. "Grandma Hippety-Hop."

Granddaughter Hippety-Hop was thinking of home a lot this weekend. We had pork tenderloin on the grill - a hometown fave - and a big pile of squash and zucchini from the market to cook. With North Carolina on the brain, I instinctively reached for the cast iron pan instead of my All-Clad, used butter instead of olive oil. It's the details that matter with hometown cooking.

I asked my mom for the family "recipe" for classic apple cider cucumbers, which are so simple that you can barely use the word recipe at all. Crisp and acidic and eaten hundreds of times with family, these cukes. My grandma and my mom would peel their cucumbers, but I left mine unskinned. I have so many memories featuring a bowl of these on the table, often ridged with a fork (as kids we thought the resulting "designs" were so cool) and usually kept cool with ice cubes. Cucumbers like these have heard all sorts of tales around tables over the years, don't you think?

Southern-Style Apple Cider Cucumbers

- Keep the skin on or take it off - your choice. Slice your cucumbers thin.

- Fill with ice water and salt and let them soak.

- Just before eating, empty our your cukes, rinse with fresh water and pour in apple cider vinegar until they're just covered.

- Grind in some pepper and throw in some ice cubes, and you're done!

If you're not eating this for nostalgic family purposes, I'd mix up your vinegars and add in fresh herbs. Rice wine vinegar + dill! White wine vinegar + oregano! And so on. Heck, throw in feta, onion, and tomato while you're at it and make it a meal. I think my grandma might even like that dish.

Friday I'm in Love

2014-07-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

Hello Friday! I'm looking forward to a weekend of neighborhood relaxation, catching up with friends, and pumping like a madwoman. First, though, a day full of meetings... and some fun links! Stuff I'm loving this Friday includes:

Beyoncé Voters

What can I say, I love a trendy political tumblr. I think it was Texts with Hillary that set the bar for the genre so high (for me, anyway). And now Beyoncé Voters is on the scene, gallantly serving that important life role of "procrastination rabbit hole." Nicely done, Beyoncé Voters, nicely done. (Side note: can anyone explain why "Beyoncé" has an accent on the last 'e'? No really, this bugs the crap out of me.)

Vigilante Cold Brew

This summer I've become completely obsessed with Vigilante Coffee's cold brew. I love the Red Stripe-meets-JFK bottles. I love the ease of refills, every weekend at Eastern market. But mostly, I love how smooth and strong this stuff is. Locals, go get some - seriously.

Fantasy Hideaway Wallpaper

This wallpaper is so dreamy to me. I picture a renovated attic study, totally girly, books everywhere, a great desk, and a comfy broken-in velvet sofa. My kind of room.

The perfect summer work dress, on sale

2014-07-16T09:40:00.000-04:00

The title says it all. I have this dress in two patterns (Blues Garden Flowers and Dark Turquoise Stamp Geo) and every single time I wear it I get kudos. So cute and flattering! So practical (pockets)! So easy (won't wrinkle)! So cool (breathable fabric)! So "did she or did she not have a baby eight months ago." (In my daydreams, at least.)

It's called the "Casual Weekend Dress," which is a misnomer. Perhaps in Boden-land, ladies are frolicking at the dog park in this number, but to me this is an office dress. Fair warning: I do have to be conscious of cleavage wearing it (no leaning over the conference table during meetings), but I think as long as you're average-sized and/or not lactating, you won't have that issue.

Anyway, it's on sale - and I actually bought my second with a (since expired) additional percentage off coupon, so google away! These dresses are all I'm packing for my upcoming work trip to hothothot Tucson (one week from today - gulp).

That concludes today's PSA. Although on second thought, I might need some solid colors, too...

Makeover!

2014-07-14T17:54:00.001-04:00

Well look who got a makeover... my little blog!

I've had the same design since I began Freckled Citizen, and while I still liked the old look and feel, I felt like change would be good for my little corner of the Internet. I'm especially enamored with my new header. Fun flowers + DC's iconic landmarks... what's not to love?

I'm still tinkering here and there, so let me know if you see something funny somewhere. Three cheers for happy blogging ahead... and a big thanks to Smitten Blog Designs for my new "face"!

Transitions

2014-07-14T12:27:00.004-04:00

Friday was my last day at home with Miss H. I'm going to miss our lazy mornings each Friday, but the truth is, it was time.

You'll remember that I used to work entirely from a home office. Then we finally opened a DC office, but I stayed home on Fridays as a way to have some quiet time to myself, work without interruption, and often, get a lot more done than I could in my real office. I love the freedom of telecommuting - not having to get ready in the morning, being able to cook real food and prep dinner, taking the dog out for a walk when it's slow, etc. The pace of my professional life didn't allow for five days a week at home anymore, so I made sure to savor that one day each week that I had all to myself.

When I returned back to work from maternity leave (those eight weeks at home honestly feel like a century ago), I kept up my Friday at home schedule. For the first few months, it worked like a charm. Like all newborns, H slept a lot, and when she was awake she was amenable to my multi-tasking.

Flashback alert: Hi tiny girl, peacefully hanging on my lap during conference calls!

Now, though, just shy of eight months old, my girl cannot be contained by her mom's work calendar. Over time my Fridays transitioned from my most peaceful day of the week to my most stressful, juggling two full-time jobs at once - managing an active kiddo and my paying job. No one wins with that kind of pressure.

For our last workday together, I took off a half-day so I wouldn't feel as pressured by my phone and inbox. We ran lots of walking errands around the neighborhood, got dinner ready for a high school friend coming over that night, and then... H crawled for the first time! I love that she made the day special for me.

This gal is going places. Time for me to make some new Friday traditions.

The requisite BLW post

2014-07-09T12:40:00.000-04:00

Like almost every baby I know born in the last couple of years, H is on the BLW train. Since the concept of baby-led weaning has been written about pretty exhaustively, I thought I'd skip over the explanations and simply report how BLW has been for us. (I also feel the need to go ahead and write this up now so that it doesn't turn into so many other accidentally-unwritten-about topics, like H being breech and you know, being born.)

So. BLW for us: we absolutely love it. The concept of BLW is completely appealing to me in the most logical way, as someone who loves real food and is suspicious of most processed stuff in jars. Letting H explore food in her own way, on her own time, while still relying on breastmilk as her primary form of nutrition? A thousand times yes.

Slightly out of focus, but totally summing up her OMGexcitement at her first real bites. (She already looks so much younger here - girl is growing fast!)

I can't overstate how appealing the ease of BLW is compared with making my own pureed foods (which let's face it, is what was going to happen in lieu of buying babyfood). I feel like I have so little extra time in the day; I'd rather spend it playing with H, going on neighborhood walks, or snuggling with her dad - not doing extra meal preparation. Cutting food we already have on hand into sticks and ensuring we have her favorites around is as much preparation as we need to do. There's definitely extra mess with BLW, but we roll straight from dinner into bathtime, so it's manageable. (Also: hilarious.)

H's opinions? Around five months she began to take a major interest as we put food into our own mouths, smiling and laughing as we chewed and she saw food disappear. By six months, the suggested starting age, she was chomping at the bit quite literally for a chance of her own. She knew exactly where to put food from the start and has enjoyed a pretty big variety of flavors.

We read the BLW bible (here are the Cliff Notes) before introducing solids, so were well-versed in the placement of babies' gag reflexes versus adults' and the differences between gagging and choking. Reading up prior to starting out helped, especially for T, who is generally more cautious and more of a preparer than I am. It goes without saying, though, you need to pay attention to every "bite" (and we do) and be ready to fish something out if she's not expelling it when she needs to.

Almost two months in, H is super-confident at mealtimes, and I love that about her. BLW really feels like a way to nurture that confidence. She began swallowing almost from the start - she really does put away more food than I ever suspected she would at this age. The proof is, shall we say, in the diapers. Her current faves include chicken, fish, broccoli, cauliflower, watermelon, blueberries, avocado, and hummus. Will BLW lead to a lifetime of confident, adventurous (read: unpicky) eating, as suggested? I'm not sure. I hope so, but time will tell. Even if our only advantages with BLW are those we're already experiencing, though, it's been worth it for us. Our little gal couldn't be happier, either.

Business trippin'

2014-07-08T11:22:00.000-04:00

In two weeks, I'm headed out of town on my first working mom business trip. Cue all the angst.

I'll be out west for three nights, no doubt worrying about baby meltdowns and the milk stash throughout my heavy schedule of meetings and events. If it wasn't important for me to be there, I wouldn't go. And so the quandary of being thrilled to have my presence deemed a professional necessity while also being stressed about the working mom juggle continues.

My mother-in-law is coming to help T while I'm gone, which I'm so grateful for. In the meantime, I'm trying in vain to store away the freezer stash necessary for that amount of time. It's tough going, given that I've been on cold meds, H is going through a feeding frenzy growth spurt, and my hormones seem to be all out of whack (preemptive TMI detail stoppage). Our travel schedule to hang with family hasn't really helped matters, but my next two weekends at home should help. Here's hoping I can bear down - with H, my sinuses, and my hormones in full cooperation - and get this right before I skip town. Gulp.

So there's the frantic prepping of the homefront to ready everyone for my absence. The other side, though, is something I haven't spent much time worrying about - probably for the sake of my sanity. How, exactly, am I going to find the time and space to pump and somehow discreetly carry three days' worth of milk around Arizona? Also: going through airport security with colleagues, while carrying breastmilk? Oy.

But this kid. Oh, she is worth it. Ten days' out from turning eight months, here's a look back at her last two official photos:

Such a chubby, tall, happy bunny, this one. So close to crawling now, eating her solids like a champ (all hail BLW!), and generally charming everyone around her. Except for nighttime, of course, when she wakes to discover she's in her crib and shrieks like she's on fire. This girl is happiest sleeping with her parents. Are her parents happiest sleeping with her? Not exactly. But these days, we're too tired to put up much of a fight. I look forward to the magical night when we have the power to shush her back to sleep in her own room at 3 a.m. instead of just bringing her into ours. One day, one day. Ever the optimist over here.

My fellow working mamas who've pulled off the pumping business trip - tips! tricks! anything you have! I'm all ears.

Time for some pretty

2014-07-02T15:37:00.000-04:00

Work is stressful. Flowers are pretty. Enough said. Here's what's been growing for me lately in my front yard:

If you are a female who logs into any social media account in April or May, you know that spring is all about the peonies. They're so fickle and fleeting, but absolutely worth obsessing over. My first peony bush popped before we left for vacation - this color is ridiculous in person. Can I get a gown made out of this, stat? (And also an excuse to wear one?)

I knew a bunch of our bushes were going to pop while we were away on vacation, and sure enough, I missed the peak bloom for our most unusual variety. Here's what was left of these ladies upon our return.

Our white peonies were in bloom when we returned, too. Pretty pretty. And huge!

The showstoppers - and longest-lasting blooms - this year were definitely the light pink pretties.

Next up, heading into June - roses! I didn't used to be a rose person, to be honest. Valentine's Day red roses never did it for me, and I lumped them all together in my head. But discovering garden roses and double-bloom varieties that look more like peonies than lame holiday bouquets changed my opinion. These roses are o-l-d - who knows how long they've lived at our house. Even though they're not my favorite kind of rose, I feel loyal to them because of their history. It felt wrong to get rid of them, so instead we split them and moved them last year. Blooming against the house now, they do look nice - even if I wouldn't pick them out of a catalog.

I bought a new yellow rose at the beginning of the season with my mom - I've been wanting more yellow and these beauties did wonderfully until the scorching hot temps came. I'm hoping for even more blooms next year. LOVE these gals!

My biggest garden acquisition this year was a David Austin rose (two of them, in fact). Meet the Crown Princess Margareta. Her color completely stopped me in my tracks. I'm getting new blossoms even this week in July heat, so I think they're happy in their new home so far, although the plants themselves are still small. I planted them near our front fence, with hopes that they'd eventually hang over the sidewalk and greet pedestrians. Here's hoping next year these lovelies go wild. The color and tissue centers totally do it for me.

My hydrangeas, which line the side yard path start to finish (11 bushes total!), aren't doing as well this year - I think the long, bitter cold winter did a number on them. Hopefully I'm wrong and we'll come home after the 4th to find them going gangbusters - they're already really late, though. We shall see!

What's growing in your yard right now?

Bag lady with a breast pump

2014-06-10T12:21:00.004-04:00

In not-breaking news that you've heard a million times before: being a pumping, working mom is not easy.

Exhibit A: The bag that follows me around everywhere I go. (LL Bean, natch.)

Exhibit B: What I look like from afar - a bag lady. A bag lady in J.Crew, but still.

Exhibit C: The mess I haul across our office and into the "pump room" twice a day, every day (this photo taken while attached to the pump, of course).

Exhibit D: The amount of water I need to drink daily in order to pump effectively. (My pump room is also the water room, conveniently.)

And then there's the noise. This article puts it perfectly: Shouldn't the breast pump be as elegant as an iPhone and as quiet as a Prius by now? Why, yes it should. I feel like I will hear this thing echoing in my brain for the rest of my days. So, perhaps, will my coworkers.

I continue to feel grateful that I'm even able to pump at all, I do - breastfeeding has been fairly simple for me and I have a supportive office. I know that many women would love the chance to do what I am currently complaining about. The crux is that as a career woman, I've fought for the chance to be at important meetings, to be on-call, to be a decision-maker. And I am... except for when I can't be due to pumping. And that conflict is difficult for me.

Some days, I literally have to schedule my entire workday around being able to pump. Today I was supposed to have three off-site meetings, scattered throughout the day. At first glance, there was no time to go back to my office at all in between meetings. Could I pump on-site? Drive and park somewhere, then try to pump in the car? I'd have to carry my pump bag to a fairly important local government building - how annoying and weird would that be in the meeting? Not to mention, I can't drink my 50-gallon water requirement on the go like that. I ended up doing something I don't like to do, but will when I have to: I rearranged my schedule, moving my first two meetings to alternate days. I also made transportation decisions based solely on not having to carry the pump bug to the afternoon biggie with the suits. And so it goes. This isn't just me, either - every pumping working mom makes these decisions every single day.

On the home front, Hazel's eating more food every day and has lessened up ever so slightly, occasionally, on the milk she needs while I'm gone. Not enough to really change my pump schedule, but it makes me wonder where we might be headed. Some days my pumping goal is nine months - nine months in, nine months out, nice and clean. Most other days it's a year. Some days I think I can go longer. Bag lady or bust.

The bottom line here, for all of us juggling work responsibilities and hungry breastfed babies, is that there's no single right answer. We're all doing our best and making the choices that are right for us. My battle isn't really between the reality of my days and a common consensus, it's between the reality of my days and what my heart wants. I don't know what my end date will be - I think I'll know when I'm ready, though, and I've promised myself to be kind to my heart no matter how long I last.

This and that

2014-06-09T16:20:00.004-04:00

Because I posted about cute office clothes last week, allow me to introduce some other occasional workwear:

So hot, right?

The past two weeks have been nuts at work. And then Friday came, and by day's end I was breathing fresh air again. Noisy, crazy construction-site air, but it was glorious.

We caught up on some much-needed sleep this weekend. My work stress has been coinciding with Miss H's refusal to sleep anywhere but our bed, but this weekend she decided that maaaaaaaaybe her crib was sort of cool after all. I mean, duh! Our little droolface (thanks top two teeth!) has been so tired that it was great to see her get the kind of rest I know she needs. And wow did we need it too. (PS this photo makes me want to hug her through the screen.)

We toured an open house this weekend that has our wheels turning in a major way regarding future renovations. These would be future future renovations, not even on the current horizon, but they'd be major, and I'm sort of excited thinking about them. I love conspiring about house projects with T - we're pretty good at conspiring together. In the meantime, we're finally tearing down our crazy backyard next month! More on that and some garden prettiness soon.

The most important element of the weekend though? Without a doubt, using the stroller to its fullest potential.

Work closet faves

2014-06-05T11:34:00.001-04:00

I haven't bought many new clothes since packing away my maternity stuff - rediscovering old favorites has been fun. You know, "I forgot about this!" and also transitioning from stuff not fitting to one day, look at that - it zipped. (Note to self - get back to working out post-vacay so that sentence doesn't haunt me.) Six months post-delivery, I can say that skirts and dresses are definitely more my friend than pants. These three items have been getting heavy rotation at the office, and also heavy compliments! Go get 'em while they're on sale.

Anthro Montagne Pencil Skirt

This graphic skirt looks fantastic with a simple black top and strappy sandals - gets a compliment literally every time I put it on.

Boden Modern Pencil Skirt

The "petal shower" floral works with white, navy, or chambray really well. It's springy without being overly sweet. Strappy nude sandals and you're done.

Anthro Teahouse Dress

I have the red (actually more of a coral), which I'd worn without mention a couple of times pre-vacation. Post-vacation with a tan, though, strangers stopped me at lunch to ask where I got it. Love the sleeve detail on this, and the cut is uber-flattering.

An Eastern Market weeknight

2014-06-04T14:43:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I was having a day. When I left work, I was in a crappy mood and needed to buy ingredients for dinner. One of my friends from high school was in town and coming over to catch up, and there was barely any food in the house. I hit up Eastern Market on the way home without a plan but with a crashing headache, hoping to pull it all together.

Here's the thing about Eastern Market: when we were house-shopping, we literally drew a circle around it on a map to guide us on our hunt. We saw the market then as the heart of where we wanted to be in DC, and now that we're here, it really is the center of our neighborhood lives. We pop in after work regularly for dinner items and we visit at least once a weekend to stroll the flea market and buy food for the week. It's where we see neighbors and buy things we both need and don't need - from vegetables to handmade baby toys.

My first stop was the flower lady. Her flowers are overpriced, but they're also gorgeous and serve as an instant mood-check for me, always. Plus, the peonies on my table from our garden really needed to be replaced. I chatted with her about what she was selling - she had some fun fuzzy yellow ones I'd never seen before and already forgot the name of - and picked up some hydrangeas and irises. Next stop: the pasta counter. We adore buying fresh pasta there (perhaps a little too much, actually), and I was thinking of doing a couple of their delicious ravioli on a plate alongside a spring vegetable and grilled meat. I went with large, savory mushroom ravioli that could be dressed simply with a little brown butter. Yum. The cheese counter is across from the fresh pasta - brilliant placement, really. I needed more parm and wanted a snacking cheese to have out with olives while we cooked, so I sampled two manchegos and had them slice a hunk for me to take home. Now for meat. We ate so much fish on vacation that I've been in withdrawal ever since, but I couldn't remember if my friend Jen was a seafood fan. I skipped the seafood counter (which I always love visiting if only to ooh and aah at the pretty fish!), and went over to pork instead. Pork tenderloin is delicious and simple to throw on the grill - done.

On Tuesdays the outdoor hall at Eastern Market is lined with Amish farmers who come down from Pennsylvania, and walking by them, arms full of flowers and bag bursting with food, my furrowed brow was definitely gone. The accents, the clothes, the politeness... hard not to smile. After chatting with the cutest little guy in his big black hat, I bought his family's asparagus, strawberries, and his grandmother's pound cake. Done.

Here's the magic of a shopping experience like that: I took my time, but it didn't take long. I had pleasant conversations with five different vendors. I smiled at local dogs and babies. I felt lighter with each new item I put in my bag. I got home and hugged an adorable baby of my own, welcomed an old friend to our home, cooked a simple dinner, and enjoyed it over great company, with the worries of the day behind me.

I'm not saying Eastern Market is magic, but it sure is a magical way of ending a harried workday. Living here, living out the romantic idea we had so many years ago of the urban family life we wanted... some days I can't believe my luck.

Hazel's Nursery!

2014-06-02T12:49:00.001-04:00

It was so fun seeing Hazel's nursery on 100 Layer Cakelet while we were on vacation! The funny thing about the feature is that it actually only showed half the room - here's the entire room, plus all the fun details! Let's start from the beginning. Remember my inspiration board?

I knew I wanted Hazel's nursery to be bright, cheerful, and feminine. If you've been reading along for any length of time you know that a girly-girl pastel nursery isn't my cup of tea. I began with two primary inspiration points - Albert Hadley's "Fireworks" wallpaper and Thimblepress' fantastic US map of state flowers. I'd almost given up on the wallpaper when a friend found it, but it ended up being too pricey for me to justify. I considered doing just one wall instead, but I really wanted the room to be surrounded in pattern. That's when I started searching for stencils and eventually settled on Cutting Edge Stencil's Sari Paisley pattern. We refreshed the room with bright white, then matched the red of the old rocking chair for the stencil pattern (we also painted an old Ikea Expedit the same red). (We're still perfectly happy with a rocking chair instead of a pricey glider, by the way.)

Settling on the fabric was another biggie in the room. Zoe Pearn’s “Sweetest Thing” fabric line for Riley Blake had everything I was looking for in a fabric collection - sweet, feminine prints with bright colors that never veered too saccharine. The fabrics really helped set the tone for the room and soften the stenciling. The final touches came in the pops of color in the room's artwork and accessories - little finds from some of my favorite presses and shops.

We couldn't be happier with how the room turned out. For a small space like this, it's as functional as it is cute. We rely heavily on basket storage and everything really does have a place. Now on to the photos... with a big 'ol source list at the end.

(All photos taken by Amanda Young)