You all know my love for the free range snack table. Well it isn’t as awesome as it used to be. The little fridge stopped working properly.

So I have to put the kid’s cold snacks in our regular fridge- THE HORROR. It is the epitome of a first world problem.

Lucky for you I took some photos last week while it was still going strong.

Here is what was on offer on the free range snack table last week.

Fruit and nuts (activated of course!) are a given on the table.

The tuna requires help but it’s there where they can see it on offer.

Mostly the buckwheat crackers get nut butter or jam spread on them. I almost always help.

I baked so there was granola and brownie there too. The brownie lasted a day.

Smaller kiddos are having a love affair with yoghurt. I make it plain and add a little raw honey or maple syrup.

Boiled eggs and chopped veggies dipped in hommus are popular for lunch.

So little fridge, I will miss you. There have been fun and happy times. Especially when you had the easter chocolate.

I hope I don’t lose the inspiration to keep easy bites available in the fridge!

The other day I realized I have a few pearls of parenting wisdom under my belt. Most have come to me through trial and error rather than being learned in a book, as most good wisdom is. Today I’m going to share with you my favorite one. The one that I live by.

You will never do it “right” enough for everyone and to someone you will always be doing it wrong.

Does that sound a bit negative? It isn’t supposed to be. In fact it is supposed to be incredibly freeing.

You don’t need to live up to anyone’s ideals of what parenting should look like. You can know that someone is judging you harshly and move on. You can agree with what you feel is right for you and your family and do that, and only that. Leave out the bits that don’t sit well with you or that don’t suit your kids.

The surest way to make bringing up kids a misery for everyone involved is to try to do it to be a part of a club or to fit an ideal. Especially if there are parts that you don’t like and are only doing for show.

This feminist Mama has a daughter that does ballet and wears all the makeup in the concert. This unschooling Mama uses a chart to remind her eldest daughter to practice her reading. This attachment parent has a child who sleeps in a room alone and has done since she was 2.  All of these things were initiated at the request of  my kids so should I try to work a philosophy on them or go with the flow?

You know I chose go with the flow.

Some people can see you as a cocky know-it-all for choosing to skip the bits you don’t like and forge your own path but like I said, you can’t please everyone. I know that the only thing I’m an expert in is what nourishes us as a family as well as the bits that certainly don’t fit.

So why not free yourself?

Knowing that you can’t win the approval battle means you can focus on your family and what works for everyone. Even if you did everything right by one book that makes it all wrong by another.

Know you are able to write your own book.

“Re-examine all that you have been told-dismiss that which insults your soul”  Walt Whitman

I have been known to say that I don’t know how people home educated before the internet. I have Google and You Tube at my disposal and use them frequently. I love You Tube for giving the kids a visual for something I have explained that might be tricky as well as for entertainment and laughs.

We are still laughing about Biscuit the sleepwalking dog.

here are some of our recent You Tube faves

The water cycle song. The teacher who made this up is a genius. My 3 think it’s one of the best things they’ve ever seen and we just stumbled on it after chatting about where rain comes from.

Have you seen the videos from the space station? There is an astronaut named Chris Hadfield who lives on a space station and makes videos of questions that kids have sent him. He is incredibly personable and not condescending and the videos are very interesting. Especially considering Harper wants to be an astronaut.
Here he is brushing his teeth in space.

The Magic Schoolbus is ace. It’s dated and cheesy but we love it and they have episodes on lots of interesting things. Including this one about the weather (clearly there are lots of weather questions here right now!).

You’ve seen Death Star Canteen? It’s our favorite. (language warning)

And if you haven’t seen this it’s time you did.

Got any cool You Tube vids you’d like to share?

Where possible I try to make better choices in baking. I try to use a less processed product that still has some health benefits.

I use coconut or rapadura sugar instead of white sugar and cacoa instead of cocoa. I use spelt flour, real butter and eggs from my own chooks.

It means that I sometimes have disasters when trying to substitute. It also means that I often end up with baked goodies that are less sweet, more dense and ones that people not used to my baking turn their noses up at.

BUT THEN I CRACKED THE BROWNIE.

This brownie is super easy, uses real food and is a crowd pleaser.

Preheat the oven to 160degrees

Sift together 2/3 cup spelt flour,  1/3 cup cacoa, 1 cup coconut sugar into a big bowl.

Add 150g melted butter, 2 beaten eggs and a big splash of vanilla.

Mix it all together with a wooden spoon.

Tip the mix into a small slice tin lined with baking paper and bake for 25-35 minutes.

If you can eat it warm with some cream or custard it’s awesome. Otherwise it goes well as a cold sweetie.

Now I want brownie.

Do you read Foxs Lane? Not only do I love this blog I also stalk Kate at the farmer’s market for apples and beetroot.

I saw her post last week called “These Autumn Days I am” and loved it so much I asked if I could do my own. She said yes so here we are.

These Autumn Days I am

- enjoying my second favorite season in Melbourne (summer wins). Crisp, clear days and deciduous trees in various states of undress. Melbourne really knows how to do this season.

-accepting the fact that I will not get clothes dry outside until late spring.

-realizing how much my kids have grown over the summer when I get out last year’s flannelette pajamas and see that none of them fit.

-reminding myself that there is “no bad weather just inappropriate clothes” and rugging us all up to get some outdoors time.  All the time trying not to think about the fact that it’s just going to get colder. Much colder.

-detoxing from social media and the internet in general. I was spending way too much time online and neglecting the life that was happening right in front of me.

-waking up every morning thinking it’s about 5am and grumbling before I see the clock that says it’s 7:30am. Curse you dark mornings.

-drinking chicken broth and coffee and tea and chai and hot chocolate. ALL THE HOT DRINKS.

-reading fiction. For myself and to the kids.

-setting up all kinds of cool art for the kids to experiment with. Sometimes joining in.

-talking about the water cycle and gravity and space stations and clouds and minecraft. To be honest I wish there was a little less talking about minecraft.

-making Katepickle’s naan bread. Because it has yoghurt in it I often make the dough the night before and let it ferment and cook it the next day. I make mine with white spelt flour and it comes out pretty good.

-planning a road trip to Queensland later in the year.

-snuggling on the couch together and watching our favorite movies.

-buying apples, beetroot, mushrooms, pumpkins, late tomatoes and wild rocket at the farmer’s markets. And bacon, but that goes without saying.

-appreciating the friends and family who have helped me out, supported me and cut me some slack while I’ve been struggling of late. Feeling the love.

So what are you doing on these autumn days?

In the end it was a scene from a movie that made me realize that she was never going to change and that we needed to seek help.

I was watching Silver Linings Playbook (which is awesome by the way) and I saw an adult lose his mind over the ending in a book. The book didn’t end how he thought it was “supposed” to so he threw it through a window and woke his parents in the middle of the night in a rage. Over a fucking book.

I saw us. I saw Harper. I felt sick.

And I knew it was time to face reality.

On Wednesday afternoon I sat in a pediatrician’s office and answered questions. I didn’t get upset when I told her how hard it was watching a 3 year old anxiously cry because she didn’t know where her new christmas toys would go. I didn’t cry when I told her about the lashing out in anger, the spitting and the screaming. I was calm when I talked about how Harper controlled play, scripting games for everyone and melting down when other kids didn’t comply, if she played with other kids at all.

But when I talked about how I can’t do anything right, how my inability to go back in time to replay an event to how Harper thinks it should go or keep the whole world in an order to suit her I let the tears come. As a Mother it stings that I can’t fix it for her. Even though I know it’s not possible.

The lovely Dr asked questions and did a bit of role play. She made notes. My heart sunk because I knew the answers were “wrong” and worth noting.

The lovely Dr smiled at me and I knew what was coming.

“Harper is presenting in a way that is very typical for girls who are on the Autism spectrum”

I knew. If I’m being honest I’ve known for a long time.

But it still fucking hurt to hear her say it.

We made another appointment. We talked about a formal diagnosis and how to go about it. We talked about ways I can get help for her, and me, and all of us.

After we left I got in the car and cried.

How can everything be the same but also different?

Then Harper piped up from the back seat about Star Wars and started doing her “Death Star Canteen” bit and I was reminded that SHE is the same kid she has always been. Sure, our lives will change and she will have a label that will both help and hinder her, but the H-bomb will go on as she always has, not knowing there is a different way to be.

And I’ll go on loving her and doing the best I can. Because I don’t know a different way either.

And it will all be OK.

You know those days when the kids are ratty and arguing and you just want to sit down with a cuppa but everyone seems to need you NOW. I hate those days.

But I have learned the calming influence of the secret stash.

I keep a few ideas up my sleeve for such times and pull them out when I need 10 minutes and the kiddos need to reset.

The one my kids like best is simple. Big sheets of black cardboard, pastels and chalk (they are loving this egg shaped chalk at the moment).

I quietly set it up and walk away. It doesn’t take long for interest to spark.

By the time my cup of tea is made they are right into it.

While I’m sitting down and having a hot drink and taking a breather the kiddos are hard at work creating some awesome art. It also helps to calm them down and to centre themselves.

And after about half an hour I’m refreshed and ready to dive right back into parenting. The kids have had a chance to unwind and as an added bonus we have an awesome piece of art!

Now to remember to restock the black paper for next time I need it!

We have been camping a fair bit around the place. We have stayed mostly in holiday parks in either a tent, caravan or cabins. We have stayed in some very basic places and we have stayed in some pretty nice places.

We have a list of our top five fave things when we stay at these parks

-Adventure park. How cool is taking the kids to the park when it is 10 steps from where you are sleeping? Bonus points for jumping pillow.

-An on site coffee machine. I know this sounds wanky but hey, when I’m on holidays I love sitting around with a real coffee in the morning.

-A pool. Bonus points for heated, extra bonus points for inside. The kiddos LOVE a swim and it really feels like holidays when there is a lot of swimming involved

-Family bathrooms. I cannot believe that every holiday park doesn’t have these yet. Kids have an age where they are too old to go into the opposite sex bathrooms but this is usually way before they are old enough to operate a shower by themselves. In the case of our family that means all the showering is my job, which is not my favorite.

-Space. There is nothing worse that a tiny bed in a poky cabin or a campsite that barely fits a car and a tent on it. When we are staying somewhere for multiple days it’s nice not to be on top of each other or have half of our camping gear packed away because of lack of room.

We have only ever been to one park that has ALL FIVE FAVE THINGS. Bellarine Big4 has huge camp sites, fancy cabins (with king size beds!), an indoor heated pool, an adventure park with TWO jumping pillows as well as an indoor playroom, clean family bathrooms with heating and they make a pretty awesome coffee there too.

It has fast become our favorite place to visit. We were given 2 nights accommodation to review and have been back on our own a couple more times and happily paid to stay there. I even plan a yearly camp there for our home schooling friends.

It’s not far out of Melbourne and there are some great winter specials on at the moment so why not pop down and check it out?

WINTER SPECIALS

HOOLEY DOOLEY Package: family of 6

• Two nights in a three bedroom unit (sleeps 6),
• 1 x Family Bocce Set,
• 2 x go cart vouchers

$380…save $194…..how good!

WHACKY-DO-DAH Package: family of 4

• Two nights in a two bedroom unit (Sleeps 4),
• 1 x Basketball or Netball,
• 2 x Icecream Vouchers

$320….save $137…..too easy!

SMOOCHERIFIC Package: for couples

• Two nights in a Vineyard Suite for a couple,
• a bottle of Banks Road Red or White Wine,
• 2 x Hot Chocolates at GULP.

$220…save $105…..bliss!

HUNKY DORY Package:

• Two nights on a powered site for up to 6 people,
• jumbo colouring book and textas,
• 2 GULP hot drink vouchers.

$100…save $80…..oh the joy!

Disclosure- I was given 2 nights accommodation at Big4 Bellarine. No payment was offered or asked for. Visits since have been paid for out of my own pocket. All opinions are  my own.

Generalizations make the baby jeebus weep. And I’m getting a bit over them to be honest. Lets bust some myths shall we?

Unschooled kids are all weird. You know what? Some are. REALLY weird even. But then there are a whole bunch of kids who have never set foot inside a school who are all decidedly un-weird. Like any group of kids they will all be different.

Unschooled kids look like they fell out of the thrift shop bin. Sometimes I see a group of kids (including mine) that will all be dressed quite “eclectically” and I often think that we look like what homeschoolers are “supposed” to look like. But that doesn’t account for everyone. It’s not against the rules to have nice, fashionable clothes for unschooled kids to wear. And you know I buy my girls fancy MATCHING outfits to wear at xmas right?

Unschooled kids play Minecraft all day. Some do. Some don’t. You don’t get a merit badge if your kid likes computer games nor are you a morally superior person if you kid has never heard of Skylanders.

Unschooled kids can’t take extra curricular classes. There is a fair bit of infighting about what can and cannot be called unschooling at the moment (and it’s not cool TBH) but of course kids do classes that they are interested in. Unschooled kids go to horseriding or swimming or clarinet or hip hop dancing lessons and so on and so on. The possibilities are endless!

Unschooled kids always/never eat junk food. Different families do different things. Not to mention kids having different tastes.

Unschooled siblings don’t fight. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no. I’m sure there are some very harmonious families out there but most families will have some periods of sibling conflict. It’s pretty normal really.

Unschooling mothers are more patient than school mums. It’s like comparing apples and oranges. While we do have the kids around all the time we don’t have to deal with homework or school lunches or show and tell or stupid rules/red tape you might not agree with. That all takes patience too. I really want this myth busted because it can be a barrier to some who might want to pull their kids out of school but think they will lack “patience”. If the energy from being an agent of the school was channeled  into having the kids at home you might find all kinds of patience.

Any sort of learning or social difficulty an unschooled child has is because they don’t go to school. NOT TRUE. There are plenty of kids in the school system with these issues. PLENTY. Kids are kids and some will have quirks, learning difficulties, behavioral stuff, be introverted, cautious, gifted, highly extroverted, anxious, super ambitious or dyslexic etc etc in spite of-not because of- where they do or don’t attend school.

I’m pretty sure the theme of this post is that there are lots of different families with lots of different kids who choose to unschool for a whole host of reasons. Generalizations don’t help anyone. Neither does the culture of us versus them.

Let’s just knock it off huh?

Got any other unschooled kids myths you’s like to bust?

This is a sponsored post for WorkSafe Victoria

I’m the wife of a tradie. Luke is a welder and he works in construction.

It’s a good job. It pays well and there are lots of opportunities for overtime, when a contract finishes up he usually finds it pretty easy to find another job and he always gets time off at Christmas.

It’s also a pretty dangerous job. Every day in Victoria alone, 10 workers are injured badly enough to put in a claim. These tradies work up high, with big machinery, with heavy materials, on scaffolds, in harnesses and so on. Safety is key. But every day Luke goes to work I not only rely on him to make safety a priority, I rely on his workmates and company too.

If you live in Victoria you’ve seen the WorkSafe ads. They are so good at pulling at the heart strings. The kid anxiously waiting for his dad to come home from work, the police knocking at the door and the little girl thinking it’s her dad or the man who breaks down after telling his wife how he was almost killed at work. These ads get me every time – mostly because those families portrayed in the ads are us.

When Luke goes off to work I expect that he will come home, in one piece, alive and uninjured. I expect that safety procedures are followed at his site by everyone from the owner down to the apprentices not only for their own sake, but for everyone else around them. I don’t expect to get a phone call or a visit to say otherwise. Even though statistically, it’s a possibility and something that worries me on a regular basis.

So I’m really pleased that WorkSafe Victoria is running a new campaign to encourage everyone on construction sites to take safety seriously.

The six-week competition is designed to tackle the high number of serious injuries on construction sites and get tradies talking about safety.

Kicking off on 15 April, tradies can get together to answer questions about safety and footy and compete against other teams to win prizes like an Xbox and footy tickets – not to mention the bragging rights of being Victoria’s top tradie!

The competition is run through an online quiz designed for smartphones and the questions test their knowledge about footy as well as starting conversations about safety. Want to get involved? Check out the Top Tradie website at www.toptradie.com.au for more information. If you have any tradie mates who work in Victoria, why not suggest they get on board and play Top Tradie. They could win some amazing prizes, as well as learn something new about footy and safety!