Free/Roam/Soul

And Surprisingly So…

Dark Angel — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:27:57 PDT

So, as far as my writing goes lately, I’ve started noticing a bothersome trend;

1 – Things I Excel At: Having the most interesting (albeit equally complicated) existence imaginable.

2 – Things I’m Good At: Writing about the crappier byproduct(s) of my life’s many complications.

3 – Things I [Constantly] Exceed At: Long stretches of writing or updates after posting really shitty news, as opposed to acknowledging some of [my] life’s brighter moments.

Well then. Guess I need to change that routine up a bit, eh?

Weekly Tweets for 2010-07-30

Dark Angel — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 16:15:00 PDT

They say be careful what you wish for, but I can't see how I'd ever regret this. #
#Shadowland 1 = highlight of my day. Daredevil is FINALLY legit. #
@epinez Lol, apparently so. I guess my 3 jobs just aren't enough; I must continue to spread my talents. in reply to epinez #
This lack of sleep, is making me crabby. I hate life. #
I don't get babies. All they do is sit there and look stupid. And poop. And cry. A LOT. #neverhavingkids #
I have a bad feeling about today, but I hope I'm wrong. #
As the kids used to say in #GuiltyGear "HEAVEN OR HELL! LET'S ROCK!" #It #039;son #timetoparty #let'srock #awesome #anime #DarkAngel #
Live from @Otakon 2010. Assclowns and hobos! What fun. #Otakon #

Weekly Tweets for 2010-07-23

Dark Angel — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 16:15:00 PDT

I passed the final! I haven't felt this way in almost 3 years. #
I hope today was the start of something new…. #
@JD_Knuckles thanks in reply to JD_Knuckles #
My arm for sleep, just one fucking night… #
Just got some MASSIVE gamechanging news! I hope I'm not geeking out over nothing. #
I wish people'd stop talking about me today. My nose can't take much more of it. #
@epinez I can't say ~for sure~ just yet, because it wouldn't be going down until the 28th, at least. But it's the best news in a long time. in reply to epinez #
In need of magic help potion #urgent #
I must have fucked kittens and puppies in a past life. Nothing should be this hard. #
I favorited a YouTube video — Ferry Corsten feat Maria Nayler – We Belong (Official Vi… http://youtu.be/2thvOsXqcBs?a #
I favorited a YouTube video — Ferry Corsten – Fire (Official video) http://youtu.be/5PDe3i0sO7o?a #
Cannot open file to save my life. #
@LavenderIce Progress Update? #
@LavenderIce in general, or because of me? in reply to LavenderIce #
I still waiting for everything to change. And my paycheck. #
I favorited a YouTube video — Muffler – Can you feel http://youtu.be/KHFl3Cz4igw?a #
I favorited a YouTube video — StarCraft II – Ghosts of the Past Trailer http://youtu.be/C_E83GfWM-A?a #
Student: Can you help me log onto the computer? Dark: Ctrl+Alt+Delete >>>> Is this what my life has really come to? >-< #

Weekly Tweets for 2010-07-16

Dark Angel — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 16:15:00 PDT

I have so many questions with no answers; I long for the day I can put it all into perspective. #
I must've raped kittens in a past life, it's the ONLY explanation for all this! I'm not this evil, my luck's never been so bad. #
@LavenderIce ? in reply to LavenderIce #
I won't fail this class, but I could've done WAY better >,< #
Work dried up like Coke on a snail. #
I may never move again after this. #
So my bad luck screwed up my final exam which is currently being delayed, and all anyone else can tell me is 'sorry'. FML. #
Between my professor, my wallet, my life, and my invisible roommates, I can't remember who hates me more. #

Freelance Rant

Dark Angel — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 12:37:27 PDT

I will not die (this time).
I make 13 yr-olds sqee(sp).
I haven’t thought about braking anyone’s bones since I sent that kid to the hospital years ago & yet watch as my patience is tried.
I keep seeing things I shouldn’t. Things that aren’t possible.
I have failed everyone.

Weekly Tweets for 2010-07-09

Dark Angel — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 16:15:00 PDT

@LovelyLadyLena I heard it sucked. Just sayin. in reply to LovelyLadyLena #
Trying to keep it MASSIVE. Today might just end on a high note. #
Prof. gives indecisive assignment. I'm done w/class 'til I get answers. #
The Final Otakon http://goo.gl/fb/wEcS5 #writing #
I've been putting it off for months, but looks like I need to write another post on how to get unblocked from Facebook. #
I wish the rest of my content got this much attention, sheesh! #
@LovelyLadyLena So it's tru?! Say it ain't so. A diehard fan like you wouldn't lie to me…. in reply to LovelyLadyLena #
The Darkness Raves To Victory!!! http://goo.gl/fb/gdPNB #writing #
Weekly Tweets for 2010-07-02 http://goo.gl/fb/5UmEO #updates #darkangel #misadventures #
New battery + #Gatorade perform. Awesome. #
Weekly Tweets for 2010-07-02 http://goo.gl/fb/vFAoW #updates #darkangel #misadventures #
Dark Test No Number http://goo.gl/fb/STlir #writing #
The Darkness Raves To Victory http://goo.gl/fb/cueMh #writing #
640 gigs of awesome just came in the mail! #
Starting to think my name costs me another apartment…perfect…. #
On the list for @NekoCon! Working on social bits/homework. #
Can anyone recommend some good #trance #music, #house #music, #dubstep #music, and/or #dance #music? #
There's 2 things I'm really good at. Breaking hearts (sorry ladies) and disappearing like a shadow. Already single; tomorrow will be quick. #
@MartinProdigy Big Ups MP! Yeah, just looking for something different. in reply to MartinProdigy #
July '10 – Root http://shar.es/mUtcb #
Always with the *fingers crossed*, but I really don't know how anything else can go wrong? #
I wish [certain] women wouls stop telling me I look like their son; it's a little distrubing. #
Stpid lag fails mespellingh. #
……… #
@JD_Knuckles Currently? in reply to JD_Knuckles #
@JD_Knuckles 2 + freelancing & a few side projects in reply to JD_Knuckles #
@janaiblog I hear this happens in China quite a bit. in reply to janaiblog #
This remix makes me flip! Crazy awesome! #
It's funny writing about my life and seeing it happen in real life. Like, wtf?!?! #
@JD_Knuckles why? in reply to JD_Knuckles #
Playing catchup like a little kid. Oh what fun. #
Going through weeks worth of freelance work. Wow, I'm terrible. My time management has gone extinct. #
Soulful. If I knew a girl who could drop lyrics like this, I'd be a married man. #

The Darkness Raves To Victory

Dark Angel — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 20:19:59 PDT

I’m writing this post because I cannot possibly contain the sheer awesome that just exploded in the last 10 mins.

So I’m at the train stop (we call it a ‘Light Rail’ here in Baltimore/Baltimore County), waiting for my ride, and I kick on my wireless headphones. A song comes on that I’m feeling emmensly and I start practicing my rave.

*I’m not like most ravers [I don't think] who practice like once a week or something. I just hear sounds I like and go crazy. I’m also probably not as good as most ravers too; but that’s just one man’s opinion.

So I’m doin it up to a nice playlist and some lady tips me like a bloody street performer! Sweet! I’m 50 cents richer, LOL! But the skillz are recognized nonetheless. Then some more ladies come by, like 15 minutes later, and ask if I’m in some sort of dance group and (if so) if can they support it. Fucking MASSIVE! That made my day! Hell, that made my crappy week.

D-A-R-K. That’s why they call me D-2-da-A!

Weekly Tweets for 2010-07-02

Dark Angel — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 16:15:00 PDT

No Superstar – @Remandy = No themesong for life. #
Mission accomplished. Down to 2 jobs again. #
Sent in my pre-reg for @NekoCon btw. My last big shindig for the year 2010. #
Glad it saved afterall. #
Let me finish this test, then maybe I can look for more places to stay. #chore #
The say the glow might be in. i say it might not. Boy would it be nice to be wrong just this once?!!!?!?! #
Think I saw a ghost a few mins ago. Hopefullly this house [music] will take me away, as I don't like hauntings. #
Make that a couple of ghosts. #
Weekly Tweets for 2010-06-25 http://goo.gl/fb/1xl85 #updates #darkangel #misadventures #
My empire for a hot home cooked meal (or a chance to do so) & the chance to see someone I know for a change… #
Homeless people falling down in the middle of the bus; This is a new one. #
Starting to regret quitting that 3rd job. Probably would've had my 3rd car sooner. Course there's no telling if that would've been used #
to kill me too….I 'love' cars #
Awkward points FTW #
Homeless people falling off the bus. I need a car. Or a bike, it's only #Baltimore #
No, no. Definitely a car. My bike would be stolen in less than 20 minutes. #Baltimore #
I've got all this time now. Guess there's no excuse anymore. #
How did I become the one behind on a deadline? #
I Don’t Need Religion – Go Hump A Bible http://goo.gl/fb/Gvikh #darkangel #humaninterest #random #reflection #wtf #
Magic cows…this is going to be an interesting day indeed. #
These shoes are like a gift from god Hermes himself. Amazing. Just absolutely amazing. #
Well this sucks, both Sonya & Echo's ninjas are all gone. #
Seriously??! How do I have all of Shu, and nothing from Echo?!?! #
Kakumei? Too easy. I don't even have to draft anything, lol. #
@LavenderIce I will have everything to you by Monday. I'll be calling soon. #
Warranties a plenty today #
How To Find Things [Quote] http://goo.gl/fb/OGYfn #writing #
So we lost? ouch. #
I just found I have a couple of rare coins. I may start this; might pay off in a few years. #
Now that I'm 100%, I better go set up my voice acting audition for this week. #
Behind serious on my side work #
500 pts. WOOT! Too bad I need 7,000 more to get 1 free night, lol. #
Getting older by the day #
The Incident will change everything. #
If the others won't stop, how can I? #
@tferriss A short explanation on how it works; not everyone is familiar with the topic. in reply to tferriss #
I need less friends w/DDs asking me about my lovelife, cause it's making me think about retiring altogether. #
Roommates.com it is then #
Why is this so hard? It's never been this hard? #
@girlonetrack Cute. That's good reading right there. in reply to girlonetrack #
"I need a roommate who goes to church" >>> Well FML…. #
Awesome black guy seeks people actually renting places, a woman looking for more than average, & a whole lot of money. Too much to ask? #
If I don't kick my own ass no one else will, but giving up would be so easy right now…. #
Effortless…. #
I really don't want to go back to Odenton. Why does BWI have apts? #
I bet Jersey wouldn't be this much trouble. Heck North Carolina would be EPIC! #
I would rather chew off my arm than have to keep doing this #
Hopefully I'll get this room; knowing my luck though, it'll be a massive curve ball thrown in the equation though. #
If I get this place, then I need that bike from Pokemon. Seriously. #
Car'd be nice too though. #
Albeit traffic + Nascar [left only] turns & dirty cops are not exactly my idea of a fun rush-hour drive. #
Ok, I'm done. Hope I don't screw up this week. #
Ap #52 – "Well the last guy was insane and jobless, and while I need rent, I don't need a new roomie that bad" >>> FML #
August; that's what we're going for. #
Last @Otakon Ever. More Later. #
Quoting her: So a toss up between douchbags thinking we’re elitists or doing it wrong. #
Fine by me so long as they recognize the material. #
DAMN YOU teaching cooking while I'm trying to write a book. So hungry. >,< #
All these symbols making my head spin #
I wonder why so many people are so bad at describing themselves? #
Epic Tune. Where's my Miss Understanding? #
Wow. My 1st set of tools and all for Spike. #
Gaah! I can't finish writing this on my netbook!!! T,T #
And the packing begins, yet again. #
I'll never do another online course as long as I live #
Today. Today. It's time to get ninjalic. #
Looks like I'm trading again, lol. #
I favorited a YouTube video — DS#5: Woody – So Free http://youtu.be/ZJBlFBnjgQQ?a #
Bios done, done, & done. #
Last week with [online] History Prof. and he STILL doesn't believe my name is real?!?!?!?! Seriously man?! Seriously?! #
When will people get it? I don't need to troll your asses! I'm the God Damn Dark Angel! #
And one day, I'll be the greatest! #inspiration #
Leave it to @stevebcee to come up with the one song I needed most today…. #
Listening to the pain of old men, I'm not sure if I'm learning for my future, or if I'm afraid of what it may become. #
Hopefully that's the last of history… #
1 camera, 1 recorder & life would be perfect. #
@OtakuNoVideo Sweet. You'll see me there. in reply to OtakuNoVideo #
Anime Expo…eventually T_T #
Wish all this stress wasn't so draining. #
Have to do what it takes. #
I feel like a wanted (on the run from the law) man, people won't stop staring at me… #
It's starting to get mental, it's all happening so fast. #
Musicd keeps me going for now… #

The Final Otakon

Dark Angel — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:20:17 PDT

So I made the decision to make this Otakon [2010] my absolute, very last Otakon. EVER. An ending I will never change. No ‘just going backs to say hi’ or ‘last minute do-overs’. No ‘guest spots/speaking’ or ‘publicity stunts’. This is the end boys & girls.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Otakon as much as the next catgirl. I’ve gone every year (save for ’06) since ’04, I’ve waited the lines, friended the fans, pictured the cosplay; I’ve endured the best of IRL-anime’s insanity firsthand.

But my choice comes at a time when this old man realizes [much regrettably] that I only have so much life to live. I look around [Otakon] and I see the same things, the same people, the same complaints and wonders, year in and year out. And you know what I realize? We’ve all gotten old. Every Otakoner (it seems) is content with going to Baltimore (of all places, really(?) *rolls eyes*) and yucking it up for 3 days every year, and no one wants to ask, what’s next?

*(Yeah, snarky asshole, I realize some Ota-con-goers/guest do in fact go to other conventions in their area/region/country; the remark is largely a knock at those who basically stick to the same 1-3 cons a year.)*

And I just can’t do that anymore. Because there is a fire in me named Discovery, and it will not be put out. There is so much more out there to do and see and experience, that I will never, ever get a chance at if I’m always going to Otakon. And that’s well in regards to things outside of anime conventions and urban tourism. There’s a whole world to explore, and I want to see it!

And I want to OVER EXAGGERATE (as much as humanly possible) that I never made this decision under the impression that I was pressured to leave the con, that I (suddenly) hate the con (Otakon will always rock; even when it doesn’t), that there’s too much drama to deal with (no one’s more complicated than me anyway, lol), that I’m absolutely bored with the con, that I have a problem with anything happening with the con’s management in 2010 (I made this decision well before then), that I’m fed up with the people at the con or think it’s too expensive, and/or that I just stopped liking anime conventions.

This is just a decision I made. Plain and simple.

However, this will not be a sad occasion by any means. Least not for me. My announcement has been met by a little resistance from alleged “friends” who are worried we’ll grow apart or that we’ll never see each other again. News Flash! If we’re friends, we’ll find a way to make time for each other more than once a year. This is actually going to be 1st thing/dance/rave/event I’ve actually gotten a chance to go to since the night I was shot. So even if the con sucks (which I don’t think it will), and all I get is the rave, this will still be an epic con. It’ll be nice to be on my legs after being left for dead.

EDIT: Significance on the shot, not the shooting. I was shot in the leg. EDIT 2: I did go to Anime Matsuri’s rave, but had injured my legs prior to the weekend, so I could dance even though technically that had been my 1st dance event/setting since the shooting.

There are, however, 3 things I’d like to absolutely clarify in the spirit of not giving people the wrong idea.

Paramount? Work is still being done on the book, How to Avoid Hara-Kiri. We’ve added a few things, and the talks with publishers have taken a longer toll than expected, but the [coming] end result is going to “blow your minds”, as my friend X would say. And that’s all I can say about it until we drop this thing on the public. Just get ready. Secondly, I’m still going to anime conventions. Not even on principle as the guy who started the book on anime conventions, just because I love em so much; yeah, I’ll be doing these for a very, very, long time. I’m just done with Otakon. Neko’s lined up right after that. Lastly however, I will not be doing ANY travel (of any sorts) in 2011. No cons, no raves, no conferences, no meetups. Nothing. This isn’t so much a full guarantee, but rather a precautionary status update. As of now, I know there’s still a lot of “housework that needs to be done” financially, scholastically, fundamentally, if you know what I’m saying. I don’t see that changing any time soon, but I’m sure if I had what I needed in order, travel (for any reason) would only be a matter of how soon I can commender a plane ticket.

Things change, people grow. And my time in Baltimore has come and gone. Long as I’m not dead, I know I still have a story to tell. So when this Otakon, my last Otakon, is over, I want to go out and tell it. I just know now it’s time to turn the page.

How To Find Things [Quote]

Dark Angel — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 13:35:47 PDT

“I have no recollection whatsoever of where I put the gun. When I try to think back I feel only a haze of drugged-out exhaustion.

I decide to try a Prof. Marmoset trick.

According to Prof. Marmoset, you should never bother trying to remember where you put something. You should just imagine needing to put it somewhere now, then go to the place you pick. Because why would you pick a different location now than you did earlier? Your personality is more stable than that. It’s just that we don’t trust ourselves.”

-Josh Bazell, Beat The Reaper

I Don’t Need Religion – Go Hump A Bible

Dark Angel — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 07:30:17 PDT

This is one of those post where 1) my opinion is law, 2) we didn’t take time to research and wrote this on the fly, 3) subjects encompassed are of category I actually try to talk about with friends (as opposed to writing), like this lady [we'll call her "A"], and 4) you don’t have to read if you’re easily offended with regards to 1. Just so we’re clear and you comment accordingly.

So the other day one of my roommates friends decided we needed to have “the talk”. But we weren’t going to be talking about sex, on no (which really sucks cause I’m always down for a little sex talk; the longer the better I always say), we were going to talk about religion. Specifically, my relationship with this thing called “God”.

*Hahahahahahaha!*MASSSIVE giggles*

He started by feeling me out (metaphorically speaking), tailoring his message to my goals and personality; strong start I’ll give him that. He tried to appeal to my education, bright personality, my personal happiness; anything to find a button and keep my attention. Classic sales trick, by the way. He even brought his life story into play and argued that given the massive difference in our age, and all the knowledge and wisdom he’d acquired over his lifetime, considering his “Lord” was probably the best investment I could ever make, because without “Him”, I will [allegedly] never find personal happiness.

And all of this, while to convince to me to believe in something I simply choose not to, was spurned because I looked down, distracted, and he sensed, he was “told” by his “God” that I needed to be talked to. He assumed problem, tried to fix it, assumed that his help was the only thing needed to fix the assumed problem, and tried to convince me that without his solution, my problem would never go away. No offense, but drug dealers do that same shit to the disenfranchised every fucking day. Just something to keep in mind.

And then at the end of this long, thought-out lecture, this guy admits he never took the time to learn my name!?!? Okay….way to make a sale Random-Gospel Guy.

Now let me make something clear, I’ve got no problem with those who believe; regardless what they believe in. Further, I’d never say what my title does to someone in person; even though that’s EXACTLY how I feel everything this “talk” comes up. I have dated and friended some of the most devout people to ever walk this Earth. I have respect for the genre, just not the love.

However, I think that if I am having problems, they are my own damn business and not a goddamn explanation owed to anyone. That if I wanted to talk to you about them I would. That if religion solved everything, then it would’ve by now. That I’m fucking old enough to decide whether I want religion in my life and what type at that. And even if I wasn’t, you don’t (and you never will) have the right to push any opinion down my throat as fact. I don’t need religion to solve my life. You might, and you might think I do. But I don’t. And I think it’d be nice if so many people stopped trying to convince me otherwise.

I’m Agnostic by the way. I won’t bother to explain what that is, since most people don’t actually know what it means to be Agnostic and only have the vague idea they do because they’re too damn lazy to look into it themselves. So stop being so damn lazy and go learn something, stupid.

The religious I meet ask me to take so much into consideration; I just wish they’d take my opinions into consideration too, before all too often assuming (much like their critics of their deities) that they don’t exist.

Weekly Tweets for 2010-06-25

Dark Angel — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 16:15:00 PDT

Give me a minute, I'm good. Give me an hour, I'm great. Give me a phone & $50 and I'm bound to do something insane, lol. #
Who's going or ready for @Otakon? #animeconventions #Baltimore #
Weekly Tweets for 2010-06-18 http://goo.gl/fb/LwmdP #updates #darkangel #misadventures #
How do I hide in a crowd of 25,000+ w/o cosplay or a full-body suit? #
I feel a great change coming. I just hope its a good one. #
Looking for a new place. It's never been this hard before….. #
"2 hot girls who like to get drunk and cause ruckus, looking for guy to help pay rent" – - – - – - O.O This is a trap, or a call from above. #
All of my symptoms gone – save for this blasted cough! Feels like my throat is being ripped 2 shreds. #
Looks like I may finally have a new place this week. Time to get back on the road? #
Awful lot of families coming out of Hooters today…. #
According to my bosses I shouldn't be so tired because I'm so young. #
According to my roommate, not being able to afford smokes, because I have to pay my bills, is a blessing from God. #
According to my friend (one of many I'll never see again) someone with a history like mine is more likely to become suicidal at the bar. #
It's amazing how much free 'advice' the ppl in my life seem to want to bestow. #
Down at the Harbor. Looking for lunch. Hoping one of these Food court birds don't take a shit on my stuff. #
Time to run. Nothing like a Baltimore cop to brighten my day. Fuckin awesome >.< #
@LovelyLadyLena I've been saying this for years! in reply to LovelyLadyLena #
A Mac dating site you have to use an Apple product to register for and use…..interesting. #
What to eat for lunch? #
Had a great bowl off chili at @cafehon yesterday, and a pretty good crab soup at 17 Light today. #
Going to check out one of the new places I've written in about; I always get more nervous about these than real dates… #
1 more place? #
So 2day I got to hassled by cops, I got to smell living death, and I got to talk to a porn star….. #
By retrospect I think cleaning out my email is the most normal thing that will happen tonight. #
Homeless guy jacked on coffee tells me to move so he can plug up his computer. I try to insult him, but he thinks I want to buy him more. #
I #wish my sticks would get here as fast as my new bag seems to be arriving. #
Think I'm done with class for today….? #fistpump #awesome #
@Checkers would be awesome right about now #
Didn't Sonic used to eat chilidogs? Like, all the time? #
So, it's pretty much 5. I'm thinking I won't be getting this apartment…. #
Blah! Stupid ppl #
I really don't mind being awesome, I just wish I had someone who me who was more awesome sometimes. #
That way I wouldn't get all the stupid attracted to me, ALL THE TIME. #
I wish I still had my camera today. I look good. #
I'm not failing class. Always a good Wednesday in my book. #
She is all but done, we just need some lighter colors. #
@LavenderIce How was ANEXT? #
Starting to feel like a piece of my soul has been ripped out without my camera T.T #
Where are my windows? #
I'm thinking about Atlanta…… #
Barbque in August? In NY? #
I have to go quit a job tomorrow. I feel horrible. #
Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked http://goo.gl/fb/P8atO #writing #
I favorited a YouTube video — Clubbers Guide Ibiza 2010 http://youtu.be/irehFnPPUZo?a #
Love it how my bus drivers seem to want to drive twice as slow as…idk…something really, really, really slow. #
Should I be mad that I'm late to the job I'm going to quit today? #
Practicing my writing to stay productive. #
Why does every homeless person I met smell like death? No wonder no one rides public transportation. T.T #
No Cameras Here http://goo.gl/fb/49H03 #writing #

No Cameras Here

Dark Angel — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 07:31:14 PDT

So a while ago, I wrote a post about how I thought I’d lost my camera.
Turns out this time, I actually have.

From everything I’ve been able to piece together, I happened to be at my school’s computer lab and rushed out to catch my ride; leaving my camera behind in the process. It was discovered prior to its delivery to lost and found, only to be stolen by somebody on staff. Apparently only one of the staff members would have had knowledge of the camera and it’s location.

All the more ironic, given all the summer acquisitions I’ve been making, is how I’ve replaced practically all my old gear overnight & still don’t have a new camera. My [current] roommates say my room looks like an ad for Amazon.

So when people tell me I’ve got really bad luck, I guess this is the stuff they’re talking about.

Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked

Dark Angel — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 19:57:27 PDT

I don’t sleep. I just don’t. I never really have. In fact I can’t ever remember the last time I actually went to sleep. Woke. Rested. Recharged. It’s like it doesn’t exist. What constitutes my sleep pattern is lying down, blacking out, and waking up (usually to the sound of my roommates at the crack of dawn).

And before that, shit you not, was me literally not sleeping for 1 to 2 weeks at a time (as my ENTIRE college Freshman class can attest).

So when I have an actual dream, it’s kinda like this weird out of body experience. Not so much because that’s exactly what dreams are, but rather, not only is it such a rare experience for me, but also because these [dreams] are all too often preludes to real life events.

Or, in crazy talk? Whatever I dream, happens in real life.

*Yeah I get it, I sound crazy. Shut up & read.*

I can’t remember when things in my head started becoming reality, but I know that it’s never stopped freaking me out. Sometimes its to the point, ex – Dark finds a rare sandwich, and low and behold, I will have found a rare sandwich. Other times its more cerebral, like a scene of a place & I’m at it, and I have to figure out what I’m looking for, looking at, and why. I have seen so many things; things I should never have ever have had any type of knowledge of, and yet…I don’t know, it’s weird explaining.

I’ve seen myself fail midterms, lose girlfriends, realize my friends are in trouble, find money, and that’s just the tip of it all; and I watch it all become real, right in front of me.

Some of the wildest examples are the visions that I’ve told my friends about preemptively. Like the time I dreamed an old college buddy of mine had a beard. Man had never had a beard a day in his life. What’s more, I’d left that college for good and had the dream in a state 3 hours away. I had no plans, hopes, or intentions of running into this guy again. But sure enough, on the most random Summer afternoon ever, I ran into him. Not only that, but several people I’d shared the dream with were all able to confirm that this was indeed what I had described. Or then there was the time I told this girl I’d take her to Canada. I was trying to be cute. A few months later we’re both invited (by a friend of hers I’d never met before) to a movie at Niagara Falls, but wound up staying in Canada for the weekend instead. She (and the others I told about the dream) flipped. It’s still surreal.

I joke about it being 1 of Dark Angel’s many powers, but in truth, it makes no sense to even me, the guy who gets these ‘visions’. All I know is that things happen in my sleep, and then sooner or later, they happen in real life.

So dreams? Weird. Coming To Life? Weirder. Talking about it? Dark has always been crazy, so there.

So lately, I haven’t been dreaming, but I haven’t been really sleeping either. I’ve been rolling around every night for the last (I can’t even recall how) many nights. I’ve also been breaking out on the worst cold sweats. People familiar with ghost hauntings, or waking up with a fever at 3am in the morning might be familiar with the feeling. I think my body is trying to sleep, but is disturbed by something I can’t really understand or seem to remember from all my [lack of] slumber. I just keep waking up to this overwhelming sense of dejavu, like I should know what’s about to happen, but don’t quite. It’s like my mind is trying to tell me something, and I for the life of me can’t figure out what that is. If it is a vision thing, it’s big. If it’s stress that needs to be vacation-busted, then I’ll be cured fairly soon, lol.

I don’t understand this thing, and as far as I can tell, I can’t stop this, so whatever is happening, whether it be perceived or real, I hope I won’t have any reason to be afraid once I meet it headon.

Weekly Tweets for 2010-06-18

Dark Angel — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:15:00 PDT

Fuck, do I need help… #
Weekly Tweets for 2010-06-11 http://goo.gl/fb/KkSWD #updates #darkangel #misadventures #
Need to get out of this rut #
Totally sick. Totally uncool. #
This week is throwin me for a loop. Head hurts. @.@ #
Oh, and for some unexplained reason, there's blood, that should be pumping out, rolling back into my heart. I seem to have the worst luck #
Cause I can't seem to find a doc to explain how or why. #
@LovelyLadyLena the report says "trivial valvular regurgitation". That's basically wat it is. Docs r bein dificult w/more in depthness. in reply to LovelyLadyLena #
@LovelyLadyLena Well dats the thing; I've no idea how bad (o not bad) it is. Nor do I know how it started or how to fix it. in reply to LovelyLadyLena #
Think I'm Falling Apart like KG #
Need to bounce & rest up. & find a way to stop everything from going crazier still. #
Any good ideas for a new camera? #ideas #ideas4newcamera #camera #newcamera #
I'll probably never do summer courses again, but it's good to see I'm not failing. Just hope I can stay that way all semester. #
This is like the easiest test ever. I wish everyday was like this. #
@LavenderIce I haven't forgot what I planned to send. Soon as this cold is over >-< in reply to LavenderIce #

Weekly Tweets for 2010-06-11

Dark Angel — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 16:15:00 PDT

I should be crying (tears of joy). Massive effect in my life today. This does a lot of good damage. Level-fucking-up! #
Time to turn up the music! Practice, finance, class? FULL steam ahead! #
Crisis from earlier averted…I think. It may have just been the other OS. #
Weekly Tweets for 2010-06-04 http://goo.gl/fb/k0QXN #updates #darkangel #misadventures #
Can't say that makes me feel too confident… #
(Last tweet) unrelated. Today was surprising. #
I am so weird. #
Email goes on forever; Not sure if I'm glad to have it back. #
You know for someone who moves around so much, I sure do have a hard time moving on. #
This is annoying; It's like starting over all over, over, over again. #
Email kung-fu #
I'm beyond exhausted #
Well that was weird; I know some funky people….in a good way. #
Missing #Honfest That sucks. #
@TechieTiffy nothing significantly good. in reply to TechieTiffy #
There goes the rest of my contact list… #
No time to work because I have to shop. Such a cruel world. #
my glow can't get here soon enough #
Going in to get fitted up Friday. That'll determine this week for me. #
Tripleplay in effect. Best news so far this week. #
TRIPLEKILL! – Mega Debt Bomb!!!!! http://goo.gl/fb/X7fmw #finance #misadventures #work #
This is a tweet – from the blog – testing – feel free to ignore the plugin #

TRIPLEKILL! – Mega Debt Bomb!!!!!

Dark Angel — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 05:30:13 PDT

Hell, even if you don’t read the blog, it’s no secret I’ve got a history with debt. I’m not so special in that regard though; welcome to America kids. This year I’ve been busting ass every single day to pay mine’s off and be done with it all, for good! I’ve been lucky enough to keep landing jobs so often (8 since The Great Recession started), and finding extra income I never knew even existed.

I set the target for termination at September of this year, but after the snow, it got pushed back a month. This past week however, I put away about 60% of my remaining commercial debt! Now I still have some personal bits to pay back, and my students loans are going nowhere fast, but man, talk about progress! With only 40% of my credit score damaging debt left, I’m more pumped than ever to finish this fight.

And while this was a big win, there’s no way I’m taking a break to celebrate. It’s time to end this once & for all!

(Photo by ElDave/flickr)

Weekly Tweets for 2010-06-04

Dark Angel — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 16:15:00 PDT

All the good news of today does nothing for this crushing defeat. Deadpool was right. #
Blazing. Amazing. #
FUCK my life!!!!!! Seriously why?!?! #
So much for getting any work done… #
Adam Hennessy, Scott McNeil too. I'm so embarrassed….hate @Facebook! #
glowsticks…def need some glowsticks… #
RT @TIME – World War II bomb explodes in Germany, killing 3 | http://su.pr/2qXW1x – awkward? #
Work on the blog today. #
Added plugin that's supposed to blog out my tweets weekly. Fun experiment? #
Weekend can't come soon enough. Hope I have better news by then. #
Never thought I'd be so fascinated by web design. #
A surprising amount of broken links. wow. #
Pizza, Chinese & Baked Beans. That would be epic right about now. #
I wish I could focus and stop finding things to waste my time on. Wonder what the hospital will say tomorrow? #
Photos + Thesis = Good Headache? #
Pay off my phone, or pay off my debt? …It's going to be a long June, I can already tell. #
Got paid 2day, 4got I had $$$, saw glowsticks online, and am currently fighting every impulse to buy, buy, BUY!!!! #
LOOK AWAY! #
Okay, done for now. go summer semester. less sitting on my ass, lol. #
It may be official. I think I may be under attack. #
For all I know this may just be the operating system, but if I'm wrong, damn, I think i'm just a little more fucked. #
I think it's slightly ridiculous when you have to hire cops to protect the neighborhood library. Just a lil ackward to say the least. #

(Photo by netzkobold/flickr)

May Updates

Dark Angel — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 08:05:13 PDT

May marked a minuscule milestone in my year so far. The month seeths of difficult-flavored aftertaste, as opposed to everything fucking sucking the life out of me as in Q1 of the same year.

1. I’ve needed to get my shit in gear, or fail [class]. Not cool. Also-I hate school >.< I failed, but the classes weren’t for my major. Lesson leanred, come back stronger.
2. I’m now more certain than ever that the end to my debt is imminent.
3. I got my laptop stolen in March, which has made my life absolute Hell. It’s amazing how useless I feel & have become without a computer. I think I can go to my grave in the utmost certainty that using Internet Explorer 6 is the greatest injustice I have ever suffered.
4. To all the loyal listeners of the ConSeq Podcast, we haven’t died, we haven’t quit, and we are coming back.
5. I’m prepping for quite a few surprises in the coming months.
6. The last few months have been tough, and while the few who’ve listened to me whine probably don’t read this, I can’t thank them enough for being there.
7. This most recent update is the 4th iteration of the Free/Roam/Soul. Version 5 is going to Kickass!
8. I superfailed Spring semester. A learning experience in the worst way possible. I won’t slack this summer!
9. Some Mexican hacked my email account. Go me.
10. Up to working 3 jobs nowadays. Everyone tells me I look like Hell now.
11. In my time away at work, some Mexican hacked my email account. Now Google thinks I’m not me. Super.

Where’s Your Heart At? – Medically Speaking?

Dark Angel — Wed, 26 May 2010 15:03:37 PDT

Something might be wrong with my heart. No, literally.

Last night was probably one of the few times I’ve ever felt, “sick”? My wording’s so particular because I hardly ever get sick. I’ve only once taken a day off from work because I was “sick”, and that was only because the previous day I’d been gagging off of chemicals the manager decided to spray around the work area. So having a cold, or fighting the flu, not really things I’m used to as it were.

So imagine my surprise last night (at 4am) when I was jolted awake by a feeling of extreme nauseous. My body continued to go between chills and hot for the next 5 hours. I had a throbbing headache, congestion in my chest, shoulders, and base of my neck. And everything hurt. I was gonna just sleep it off, but wound up going to the local clinic to get a look over. Which is all the more ironic because I wound up dozing off as I waited for my appointment & felt 10 times better than I did prior to the extra sleep. The docs told me my blood sugar was low; more than likely due to me missing dinner last night. But they also heard some strange heart murmur; perhaps potential for heart damage. They can’t figure out what it is, so I have to go to the big hospital down town to have them look over me to make sure the murmur is just a murmur, and nothing else. Wouldn’t want anything to be wrong with Angel’s heart now.

So what’s wrong? Who knows? But $50 bucks says I’m too stressed for my little old heart to handle.

Update: The condition I have is called “Valvular Regurgitation”. I won’t know why it’s there, how bad it is, or how to fix it until July. Hope it doesn’t kill me before then, lol; not really….

(Photo By Bob.Fornal/flickr)

Back In The Green – The Debt Dies Slowly

Dark Angel — Tue, 25 May 2010 17:55:03 PDT

So my other 2 jobs covered the remaining losses of my once negative account. I’m still getting the direct deposit changed & I’m still stressed. But today was a small victory. As soon as I get all this debt paid off, I might actually go celebrate.

(Photo by elycefeliz/flickr)

The Squirrel and The Dark – The Utter Ridiculous

Dark Angel — Mon, 24 May 2010 08:50:28 PDT

(dianeham/flickr)

You know, I can’t spell ‘squirrel’. I don’t know why I can’t, I just can’t. Totally spellchecked; you’ve caught me red-handed.

Squirrels are interesting. One of the most cleaver animals around, and (though I may be the only one who thinks this) arguably one of the most financially smart creatures known to man. Think about it, this guy is all about the hustle! When have you ever seen a squirrel sitting still? They’re ALWAYS moving, and they’re NEVER wasting time. Squirrels spend most of their time looking for, harvesting (saving), and investing nuts. If nuts were money the little bastards’d be richer than all of us. It’s practically their entire day. Find a nut, repeat until you have a full load, store nuts for later. Repeat all day; break up the routine with an occasional snack. Such dedication. It’s the type of discipline you have to apply to personal finance. And what do they get for all that hard work? From what I’ve seen, some decent free time to relax, and quite a lot of sex. You ever see a squirrel not looking for food, chances are it’s racing through the trees or over a building with other squirrely buds just chillen. You ever see a squirrel having sex? Probably not, but take a look outside just for kicks; that population isn’t going down anytime soon. While you’re sleeping Mr. Squirrel is gettin’ it in & yea, the neighbors know his name. What a great life. Be financially prosperous, hang out with your boys, and sex it up. Squirrels have it too easy.

Dark Angel on the other hand…well I don’t know if interesting is the word we should use. Complicated, maybe? And no one understands him but his…oh wait, that’s another story. Dark overdrafted his account in April. The overdraft happened on account of Paypal refusing to believe his name was real; DESPITE having sorted out any identity issues well early into the start of his 2.5 year tenure with the company. The Paypal flag [stopping an automatic payment to one of his bills] triggered a flag at his brick-and-motor bank. A hold up that’s costs more than Dark has ever needed to spend; seeing how it wasn’t his fault. But while most of the damage was undone, not enough to keep the brick-and-motor account out of the negative zone. No big though, he could probably handle this. He’s going to be a finance major afterall, remember. Dark went to see the wonderful HR wizard of Oz about changing his direct deposit from his negative account to his positive account. 3 Times! 3 times the wizard acknowledged his request & 3 times ignored it all the same. The last request would have been a magical blessing for Dark’s [positive] bank account and overall finances, but upon the day anticipated, there was only disappointment. There was a lot of rage too, but anger is so very tiring for The Dark these days. His old bones simply yearn for a simpler time. So Dark watched his phone payment (along with everything else) float away like a cloud. Which normally wouldn’t have been that big an issue, but unknown to The Dark, the wicked witch of the border sent some Mexcian hacker-monkey to cripple Dark’s email. Dark was allowed to retrieve access to his email, on one condition, the meager expense of verifying a text or phone call to the phone number on file; which would be possible if not for the the fact that his phone can’t be used until the phone bill is paid, which never happened because the wonderful wizard of HR never transfered his direct deposit!

RESIDUAL RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…sigh…Leaving Dark with virtually no possible way to get in touch with almost anyone and vice versa. Money mismanagement for the fucking win. And what does Dark get for his hard work? He gets to work 3 jobs, just to break even and cover his bills. He gets a bunch of rowdy roommates who never go to sleep & when they do they snore so loud you can hear them from anywhere in the house. He gets tired beyond recover, in addition to clients, classmates, and 3 sets of co-workers all telling him he looks dead on arrival and far too tired for someone his age. Course it’s a lot more sobering when he hears the same thing from the homeless community. He gets to come home every night and see his eyes so bloodshot you’d swear he was jacked up on something he conjured up special that you can’t find on the streets. He gets to spend a lot of time thinking about things he doesn’t get, things he can’t have, and things he’ll probably never have, no matter how bad he may need them. And he gets no support; though he’s not sure he’d even take it if he had the option. And that’s just the stuff on the surface.

After everything I’ve had to deal with this month, I think it’s time to get my squirrel on.

Not Dead & Not Ignoring

Dark Angel — Tue, 18 May 2010 12:55:30 PDT

(darkpatator/flickr)

And here we go, again….

Since I know most of the people reading this aren’t getting it firsthand from my Twitter, I thought I’d address some of the things quite a few people have tried to ask/bring up (judging my by all my facebook msgs and people trying to email me).

1) I’m working 3 jobs. I’m busy. [Most of] You were busy when I tried calling you 2-3 months ago.

2) @Friends who should know – No, I’m not talking to you, but I’m not ignoring you. You’re on my list, you’re just not priority. If you had time to listen (when I called), you’d know why. You know who you are; and if you don’t, clearly we aren’t friends anymore.

3) I’ve met about 20+ something to 30+ something people in the last 5 days or so who’ve all decided it’d be a good idea to network with yours truly. Regrettably, in my time away at work, I’ve had my email hacked. I’ve seen some of the messages, but that’s why I’ve yet been unable to respond. It’s my fault for not tightening things up. Soon as I get things sorted out, I’ll start replying.

February Updates

Dark Angel — Thu, 06 May 2010 08:29:50 PDT

Yeah, yeah, okay. I know it’s a little uber-late. Here’s a small update of everything that went down before my life started going crazy again. February was supposed to go so well, and then that #$%^ing blizzard of the century hit and @$$#@ed everything up. I am so $$#%ing done with snow, for life! But in all seriousness, it’s a good idea to have a plan in case a natural disaster strikes; you never really know what tomorrow will look like.

(Santa Cor●๋•/flickr)

1. I’ve made effort to thoroughly announce my trip to New Jersey this month, though I still feel there will be those who claim I made no such efforts.
2. I found my camera!
3. I got a surprise check for $125 in the mail
4. I’ve got my schedule & accommodations set for Momocon
5. Even though I didn’t really study, I passed my 1st quiz (in years) with a 70. I’ll get more serious from here on out, but this is a big deal for me after being out of class for so long.
6. For the 1st time ever I’m witnessing a blizzard 1sthand. Stupid snow.
7. Superbowl fun
8. Week of Valentine’s = Jersey/Valentine’s Day/Not Date/Hot Date CANCELED!
9. More snow! FML!
10. I finally got around to taking down F/R/S ver. 1. However, the snow has delayed the next phase of the site.
11. I updated the F.A.Q.
12. I’ve made impressive efforts against my debt.
13. I almost found myself buried alive.
14. I broke my suitcase
15. I did my taxes for free
16. The effects of Snowerdraft incite my Red Lantern Rage

Grafix – The Next Big Thing In DNB

Dark Angel — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 09:35:55 PDT

Just so we’re all clear, the artist known as Grafix IS going to be the next big thing in drum n bass!