Free/Roam/Soul

Full-Time Pimping Ain’t Easy

Dark Angel — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:33:59 PDT

I was just offered a full-time position with my second job, after working months of multiple jobs to finish paying down all my commercial debt. I’m really blown away, and it’s kinda nice to have someone actually thank me for SOMETHING [work-related] after busting my ass all year.

Nicer to know I actually work somewhere that won’t can my ass if my quota isn’t high enough.

I’m still working 4 jobs at the moment, but depending on September, I may finally be able to cut that, and my debt, down to size.

Year 2010 – The Very Last Otakon (Pt. 4)

Dark Angel — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 17:20:41 PDT

You’ve sat through parts 1-3. This is it! The official Otakon 2010 Convention Report, through my old tired eyes.

Otakon was a big deal for me this year. Even if it was my very last Otakon, it was still the first time I got a real chance to be around people (aside from work) and enjoy what was my first anime convention and rave on a good leg. After the whole getting shot thing, it was really hard to say whether or not I’d ever return to the world I love. (Eventually however, that didn‘t turn out to be the case, thanks to Anime Matsuri & the fact that I couldn‘t go to the rave anyway.)

Thursday was fraught with hobos and asshats. Even though the line had started the Wednesday prior(!), there was a couple of last-minute line waiting directives that weren’t delivered until, well, the last minute. There was a lot of last minute stuff at the con, like the artists, panelist, and dealers who got pulled in last second, or the events that got postponed or canceled. Pre-reg Thursday’s usually a good indicator of what the weekend attendance is going to look like, and when the hobos are saying that the line looks slim, perhaps it’s not your best year of attendance.

*It should be noted that Pre-reg Thursday (the Thursday before the event actually starts in which attendees grab their passes for said event) is not an exact predictor for how attendance plays out, the crowd did feel slimmer this year & there were a lot less cosplayers floating around, and while [at time of writing] there was an estimated 30,000 in attendance, Otakon was offering replacement badges for anyone that lost their original; so unless there’s some way to distinguish the replacement badges vs. original sold, Otakon could very easily inflate their final numbers.*

Thursday marched on with little excitement until 12 noon. Maryland has been suffering a pretty wicked heat wave all summer and while most of the attendees hadn’t bothered to check the local weather, the little Dark Angel that could managed to snag a look the night before. In fact the whole week building up to Ota, every weatherman had been proclaiming rain for that Thursday, with child-like giddy. So while I was happy I’d packed an umbrella, it was still not less of a surprise when the rain came. In the span of 20 mins Baltimore’s Inner Harbor was terra-formed from a desert into monsoon wetland. And it was cool too (everyone played in the rain), until the winds picked up. It evolved like a Pokemon in the span of minutes. Light rain, to thunderstorm, to heavy storm surge. Anything that wasn’t attached to your body or bolted to the ground, went flying away like a kite. And if you didn’t have an umbrella, you might as well have been naked in the shower. Logically, the staff let us in. The good news was, we now had shelter (most of us), the bad news was, the BCC (Baltimore Convention Center) has a convention practically every weekend, so the A/C never stops running; essentially it’s the coolest place in Baltimore all Summer. A couple hundred soaking wet anime fans, crammed into arguably the coldest building in the city, does not make for an awesome beach party. Though that didn’t stop some fans from stripping down to the bare essentials. We weren’t soaked, we were “if I squeeze my shirt, I have 2 buckets of water now“ drenched. Once pre-reg started, everyone was accommodated briskly. And that kids, was the day the ‘Hurricane of Otakon 2010’ took place. That was also the day IT came, the arrival of the Buttscratcher.

If Otakon was my anniversary con, it was certainly a throwback. This was the first year in a long time that I couldn’t stick around over night for a convention. I missed all the parties, all the raves, all the crazy that went down as soon as the sun did. If I had to break my 2010 experience into themes, Thursday would have been water (clearly), and Friday, regret. It felt terrible, because no matter how many people I got to see [again], how many things I got to do, how much fun it was to be back on the scene (and not walk around after hurting my legs), the experience never felt complete. Regret also sprang from the loss of my camera, which was stolen earlier this year. I’d had that thing for so long, I’d forgotten what it was like to not have one; I felt so naked. You could tell the Buttscratchers were multiplying by mid-Friday.

Saturday, July 31st, 2010. A day that will not be forgotten anytime soon. A day that will go down in Otakon’s chronicles as it’s greatest day of infamy. This was the day the fire alarm got pulled. But before all those crazy shenanigans, it seemed like a perfectly normal day at Otakon. Costumed characters walking rampant through Baltimore’s streets. Lines for everything longer than the DMV. People from all over the world celebrating anime. I spent today getting things done. I went to panels, I (pardon the 90s) got my game on, I got to meet many influential artist like Mookie & Garth. I met up & hung out with friends; it felt great, and yet so alien. Ever since the big Recession, I hadn’t really gotten a chance to relax and be me, I’d just been so busy working, and dealing with regulars, and making sure my bosses were happy, and it never felt like I was ever taking a minute to just chill; so it was weird doing so now. I somehow wound up working at one of the booths in the Dealer’s Room – Anime Pavilion. That was a different experience to say the least; it was nice to add the experience to my con scene resume. 1/2way through my 1st shift the fire alarm goes off, and at first, everyone ignores it. Then the Fire Marshall starts clearing us out. Everyone! Fans, staff, guests, etc. Fire drills were never like this in high school, and the amount of people was sheer MASSIVE. If the 30,000 estimate is to be believed, then there were at least 18,000 cleared out of the convention center. All of them seemingly packed onto Pratt Street, in Baltimore‘s Inner Harbor. It was like watching an epidemic break out, or the makings of a zombie apocalypse. So many people….and at first no one was moving, everyone just kinda congregated in the same area. Just this massive outbreak of anime fans. After this little stunt, I think it’s safe to say that Anime Expo will never have ANYTHING that will ever come close to that exciting; and it’s amazing to have been part of it. Now rumor has it that the culprit(s) range from a faulty stove to Rastafarians to 4chan. Course I’m inclined to agree with those who think it was Charmander. Or maybe Vic Mignogna actually picked up some tricks from all those recordings of FMA & Brotherhood. Fortunately (or unfortunately) however, according to the big cheese running the show, there was no actual fire.. The evacuation was definitive testament to the staff’s organization, because if there was actually something wrong, then they did a great job of getting us out of danger. Once the commotion died down, I went back to roaming with old friends, got back to work, and made some new friends. It still sucked that I couldn’t stay, but it was overall, a pretty good day. And you realize at this point that the viral buttscratrer meme has simply multiplied out of hand. It started as a rave, but within the first few days it had grown to something I think no one could control. I had a friend suggest that vuvuzelas (which had been preemptively banned this year) be allowed to combat the septic beast; however I countered in that his solution would be tantamount to trying to use the Aliens to fight the Predators; everyone loses as the problem gets worse. What amazed me the most was not the stamina in which this idea virus spread, but rather the various strains that derived from the original bug, seemingly all in one weekend, in the same building. You had opt-in buttscratcher, passing buttscratcher, Vendor buttscratcher, Buttscratcher cosplay, and even a couple of [people literally] running buttscratchers. Notably the Dealer’s Room was packed as always, and they weren‘t selling 3-month old merch (for the most part, and as far as I could tell). A lot of the vendors really seemed pressed to try to bring up the bottom line with some outstanding lineups, but even in a recession I think most have discovered they are still losing to the Internet. I think there’s got to be a new business model if those guys are going to survive.

In all the years I’ve spent going to cons, researching cons, and working (at) cons I’d never seen anything like Otakon 2010 to date. Hurricanes, no parties, fire alarms; it was starting to pre-qualify for free range pandemonium. It only felt slightly normal because it was all happening in Baltimore. So even though I shouldn’t have been, I was really surprised at what went down Sunday. See it was bad enough not being able to stay for any of the overnight chaos, but on top of that I had to run back to town to work (about an hour away) with no car, which essentially made my commute about 2.5 hours (because we all know how reliable public transportation is). So imagine my unnecessary surprise when I got to the train stop Sunday only to find out that they were all running about hour late. Bad enough it’d take an hour to get into the city, but an hr late for these things to boot, would mean I probably wouldn’t get there until noon; just as everyone started going home. Pissed as usual, I randomly relayed the bad news to a small group of cosplayers. A chance encounter really, because they then offered to take me to the show. Hitchiking to Otakon, what a way to travel! I made it in around 10, got a chance to say goodbye to some old friends, new friends, do a little last minute networking. And as the last of the festivities began to wind down I got a chance to go to my 1st anime convention wedding. The couple are friends of mine who you may remember from Otakon 2009. The groom proposed to his bride in the middle of the rave last year. This ceremony was more a recap than the actual ceremony , but it was still cool. Nowhere near as cool as my wedding will be, but awesome nonetheless.

So that was my Otakon 2010. Nothing at all like I was expecting, but hey, is it ever? But it’s the end of the ride for this old cowboy, no more Otakons. To quote myself, “I, Dark Angel, will never, ever again, as of the end of Otakon 2010, attend the Otakon convention ever again.” What’s next for the future? I’m the wrong person to ask, but I’m sure it’s gonna be crazy.

Parts 1, 2, 3

Year 2010 – The Very Last Otakon (Pt. 2)

Dark Angel — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 13:39:49 PDT

No matter how wrong, awkward, or crazy things may get at Ota[con], it’s always nice to be at Ota[con], if only to see old friends. There’s seemingly always this overwhelming sensation of welcome back, like a family reunion. People, vendors, cosplayers, friends you may not have seen in years will never be far behind and it tends to feel like yesterday since you last saw each other.

I knew leaving Ota would be significant in the eyes of those that mattered the most, even if they didn’t say it. But apparently I wasn’t the only one in this year’s “graduating class”. I met with a bevy of others who’d decided it was time for them to depart as well. My reasons are my own, but time seems to be a common denominator in the varied decisions.

A lot of katz I ran into had no idea I was (literally) still alive, let alone back in Maryland. Many thought I’d moved out of country, and some even considered I‘d been spending the last 12 months blowing them off altogether. My reunion one-liner?

Person: “How Ya Been?!”

Dark: “I got shot.”

Yeah, I’m a total mood killer. Someone told me, “When Dark Angel goes MIA, he only returns stronger.” Between that and the ‘hen + tie’ shirt, I haven’t really had a reason to chuckle all year. What can I say? Recessions make for tough years. But it really has been one of the most, absolute, craziest years for me ever, and if you blinked, you may have missed the following.

And for those out of the know, I have just recently relocated to Baltimore on a permanent basis; for the foreseeable 6 months.

In short my year is work and school eating into absolutely all my time, while ill-timed hacks and thefts have cut me off from (or made it hard for me to keep in touch with) people I respect.

Course that’s not even the tip of the iceberg and with all the MASSIVE changes that have happened in my life in these last few months, I guess it’s harder than ever to keep track of me. And to be honest I have a hard time keeping track of me. But I’m not always impossible to find.

Cell – Ask. Has changed several times in last year. Has unlimited texting; since everybody’s been asking me that.
Website – Bookmark & lock into the RSS.
Facebook – Add @ www.facebook.com/drkangl7
Twitter – Follow @Mr_DarkAngel
LinkedIn – Network @ http://www.linkedin.com/in/mrdarkangel. Currently in the LONG process of updating resume/skills/etc.
Skype – Call @ [left empty for a reason]. Ask.
AIM – Chat @ [left empty for a reason]. Ask.

The following won’t give you the tracking prowess of Sherlock Holmes, but it’s a good start if we should decide to keep in touch. The reunion might be finished, and Otakon might be over, but I’m not turning my back on anyone. This isn’t the end, only a new direction.

Parts 1, 3, 4

Year 2010 – The Very Last Otakon (Pt. 1)

Dark Angel — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 12:55:51 PDT

Anime Conventions, huh? What can I say that Team XP’s book already hasn’t? I’ve been going to anime conventions since 2004. My 1st was Otakon. I [honest to goodness] can’t remember a damn thing about that show (even though I‘ve got a whole freaking cache of swag from it), but I know it compelled me enough to keep coming back year after year.

I typically write epic jaunts about anime cons, but this time, I thought I’d try to break it up into pieces; so maybe you too can savor the last few moments I’ve come to reflect and experience with the Otakon convention.

It’s been one Hell of a ride; I still can’t believe how far it’s taken me.

So for the unaffiliated, Otakon’s this MASSIVE anime convention out here on the East Coast, in good ol’ Baltimore, MD. People get together for a few days to celebrate Japanese culture and all things inspired by it. Did I mention it’s the 2nd biggest show of it’s kind in North America, to include Mexico & Canada? 1st biggest on the East Coast.

This was my 5th and final Otakon. I’ve already written extensively about it, but it really was a significant year for me, all things considered. It was kinda like a big anniversary for yours truly. A culmination of old choices; decisions I’d made in passion or had been thrusted into in my quick lesson in adulthood, all coming together. Their consequences and ramifications echoing louder still, after all these years.

I seriously can’t remember anything about Ota ‘04, but I still marvel at all the swag I have left over from that show. ‘05 is one show many of the regulars will tell you was the best to date. A lot of great things came out of the convention that year. That’s when I 1st started looking into voice acting. ‘07 was the year I made it a personal goal to have the greatest Otakon EVER; in efforts to make up for missing ‘06. Talk about an anime convention! Guns, booze, rave, friends, massive hikes to 7/11, hookers, drunk kids who thought I was God. This con had everything! And for all the friends I made that year, this was the 1st year I got a chance to meet the lovely Amber, The Hentai Pirate & Light It Up’s own Xavier, probably the only other person around I know as badass as Dark Angel. Had I known the impact(s) they (and other good friends I made that year) would have had, we’da been friends so much, much sooner. Not to mention, the greatest book ever written was kinda born here, in a line, waiting to meet THE legendary Steve Blum. Damn, ’07 was a fucking epic year! ’08 was the 1st real time Team XP got a chance to meet up in person. You might not think so, but the fact that we’d come from all over the country (Cali, NYC, Jersey, Maryland, North Carolina) just to take one picture, or merely talk about one project that no one believed would ever see the light of day, astounding. Simply astounding. Amazing how far things came along still. ‘08 was the year I started really looking at out-of-state cons, as opposed to just out-of-state travel. Otakon was big that year too. Otakon ‘09, my 1st time working the Dealer’s Room. For the first time at any con, I got the chance to work and see a lot of the behind the scenes. I was privilege to Dealer’s Room setup before Otakon put it all over their website. This was also primetime spotlight time for Team XP, and pulling it all off required nothing short of giving the cool katz of Ota a show they’d never forget. And [all of] Team XP pulled that off to the tune of still remembered at this year’s Otakon. It’s been a roller coaster to be sure, never once as easy as expected, but Otakon has always been worth it. And 2010 was just the icing on the cake I needed to bow out gracefully. But more on that later.

And despite all that crazy history in good old Baltimore, I decided now was the best time to say goodbye. There have been a lot of mixed opinions about my (apparently) controversial decision, some people say I’ll be back, others are unable to fathom the words “Last Otakon” in the same sentence, so I’d like to take the time to document a little “for the record” quote.

I, Dark Angel, will never, ever again, as of the end of Otakon 2010, attend the Otakon convention, ever again.

Am I open to guest paneling, assisting in the Dealer’s or Artist spaces, staffing, or autograph signings? Of course. But I’m not going to be doing it at Otakon anymore. I’m glad for all the things I’ve gotten a chance to experience through this event. If I could go back, I don’t think I could bring myself to change anything. 2010 wasn’t the best con I’ve ever had, but for this Angel’s closing ceremony, things ended things on a high note.

Parts 2, 3, 4

And Surprisingly So…

Dark Angel — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:27:57 PDT

So, as far as my writing goes lately, I’ve started noticing a bothersome trend;

1 – Things I Excel At: Having the most interesting (albeit equally complicated) existence imaginable.

2 – Things I’m Good At: Writing about the crappier byproduct(s) of my life’s many complications.

3 – Things I [Constantly] Exceed At: Long stretches of writing or updates after posting really shitty news, as opposed to acknowledging some of [my] life’s brighter moments.

Well then. Guess I need to change that routine up a bit, eh?

The Darkness Raves To Victory

Dark Angel — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 20:19:59 PDT

I’m writing this post because I cannot possibly contain the sheer awesome that just exploded in the last 10 mins.

So I’m at the train stop (we call it a ‘Light Rail’ here in Baltimore/Baltimore County), waiting for my ride, and I kick on my wireless headphones. A song comes on that I’m feeling emmensly and I start practicing my rave.

*I’m not like most ravers [I don't think] who practice like once a week or something. I just hear sounds I like and go crazy. I’m also probably not as good as most ravers too; but that’s just one man’s opinion.

So I’m doin it up to a nice playlist and some lady tips me like a bloody street performer! Sweet! I’m 50 cents richer, LOL! But the skillz are recognized nonetheless. Then some more ladies come by, like 15 minutes later, and ask if I’m in some sort of dance group and (if so) if can they support it. Fucking MASSIVE! That made my day! Hell, that made my crappy week.

D-A-R-K. That’s why they call me D-2-da-A!

The Final Otakon

Dark Angel — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:20:17 PDT

So I made the decision to make this Otakon [2010] my absolute, very last Otakon. EVER. An ending I will never change. No ‘just going backs to say hi’ or ‘last minute do-overs’. No ‘guest spots/speaking’ or ‘publicity stunts’. This is the end boys & girls.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Otakon as much as the next catgirl. I’ve gone every year (save for ’06) since ’04, I’ve waited the lines, friended the fans, photographed the cosplay; I’ve endured the best of IRL-anime’s insanity firsthand.

But my choice comes at a time when this old man realizes [much regrettably] that I only have so much life to live. I look around [Otakon] and I see the same things, the same people, the same complaints and wonders, year in and year out. And you know what I realize? We’ve all gotten old. Every Otakoner (it seems) is content with going to Baltimore (of all places, really(?) *rolls eyes*) and yucking it up for 3-4 days every year, and no one wants to ask, what’s next?

*(Yeah, snarky asshole, I realize some Ota-con-goers/guest do in fact go to other conventions in their area/region/country; the remark is largely a knock at those who basically stick to the same 1-3 cons a year.)*

And I just can’t do that anymore. Because there is a fire in me named Discovery, and it will not be put out. There is so much more out there to do and see and experience, that I will never, ever get a chance at if I’m always going to Otakon. And that’s well in regards to things outside of anime conventions and urban tourism. There’s a whole world to explore, and I want to see it!

And I want to OVER EXAGGERATE (as much as humanly possible) that I never made this decision under the impression that I was pressured to leave the con, that I (suddenly) hate the con (Otakon will always rock; even when it doesn’t), that there’s too much drama to deal with (no one’s more complicated than me anyway, lol), that I’m absolutely bored with the con, that I have a problem with anything happening with the con’s management in 2010 (I made this decision well before then), that I’m fed up with the people at the con or think it’s too expensive, and/or that I just stopped liking anime conventions.

This is just a decision I made. Plain and simple.

However, this will not be a sad occasion by any means. Least not for me. My announcement has been met by a little resistance from alleged “friends” who are worried we’ll grow apart or that we’ll never see each other again. News Flash! If we’re friends, we’ll find a way to make time for each other more than once a year. This is actually going to be 1st thing/dance/rave/event I’ve actually gotten a chance to go to since the night I was shot. So even if the con sucks (which I don’t think it will), and all I get is the rave, this will still be an epic con. It’ll be nice to be on my legs after being left for dead.

EDIT: Significance on the shot, not the shooting. I was shot in the leg. EDIT 2: I did go to Anime Matsuri’s rave, but had injured my legs prior to the weekend, so I couldn’t dance even though technically that had been my 1st dance event/setting since the shooting.

There are, however, 3 things I’d like to absolutely clarify in the spirit of not giving people the wrong idea.

Paramount? Work is still being done on the book, How to Avoid Hara-Kiri. We’ve added a few things, and the talks with publishers have taken a longer toll than expected, but the [coming] end result is going to “blow your minds”, as my friend X would say. And that’s all I can say about it until we drop this thing on the public. Just get ready. Secondly, I’m still going to anime conventions. Not even on principle as the guy who started the book about anime conventions, just because I love em so much; yeah, I’ll be doing these for a very, very, long time. I’m just done with Otakon. Neko’s lined up right after that. Lastly however, I will not be doing ANY travel (of any sorts) in 2011. No cons, no raves, no conferences, no meetups. Nothing. This isn’t so much a full guarantee, but rather a precautionary status update. As of now, I know there’s still a lot of “housework that needs to be done” financially, scholastically, fundamentally, if you know what I’m saying. I don’t see that changing any time soon, but I’m sure if I had what I needed in order, travel (for any reason) would only be a matter of how soon I can commander a plane ticket.

Things change, people grow. And my time in Baltimore has come and gone. Long as I’m not dead, I know I still have a story to tell. So when this Otakon, my last Otakon, is over, I want to go out and tell it. I just know now it’s time to turn the page.

How To Find Things [Quote]

Dark Angel — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 13:35:47 PDT

“I have no recollection whatsoever of where I put the gun. When I try to think back I feel only a haze of drugged-out exhaustion.

I decide to try a Prof. Marmoset trick.

According to Prof. Marmoset, you should never bother trying to remember where you put something. You should just imagine needing to put it somewhere now, then go to the place you pick. Because why would you pick a different location now than you did earlier? Your personality is more stable than that. It’s just that we don’t trust ourselves.”

-Josh Bazell, Beat The Reaper

I Don’t Need Religion – Go Hump A Bible

Dark Angel — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 07:30:17 PDT

This is one of those post where 1) my opinion is law, 2) we didn’t take time to research and wrote this on the fly, 3) subjects encompassed are of category I actually try to talk about with friends (as opposed to writing), like this lady [we'll call her "A"], and 4) you don’t have to read if you’re easily offended with regards to 1. Just so we’re clear and you comment accordingly.

So the other day one of my roommates friends decided we needed to have “the talk”. But we weren’t going to be talking about sex, on no (which really sucks cause I’m always down for a little sex talk; the longer the better I always say), we were going to talk about religion. Specifically, my relationship with this thing called “God”.

*Hahahahahahaha!*MASSSIVE giggles*

He started by feeling me out (metaphorically speaking), tailoring his message to my goals and personality; strong start I’ll give him that. He tried to appeal to my education, bright personality, my personal happiness; anything to find a button and keep my attention. Classic sales trick, by the way. He even brought his life story into play and argued that given the massive difference in our age, and all the knowledge and wisdom he’d acquired over his lifetime, considering his “Lord” was probably the best investment I could ever make, because without “Him”, I will [allegedly] never find personal happiness.

And all of this, while to convince to me to believe in something I simply choose not to, was spurned because I looked down, distracted, and he sensed, he was “told” by his “God” that I needed to be talked to. He assumed problem, tried to fix it, assumed that his help was the only thing needed to fix the assumed problem, and tried to convince me that without his solution, my problem would never go away. No offense, but drug dealers do that same shit to the disenfranchised every fucking day. Just something to keep in mind.

And then at the end of this long, thought-out lecture, this guy admits he never took the time to learn my name!?!? Okay….way to make a sale Random-Gospel Guy.

Now let me make something clear, I’ve got no problem with those who believe; regardless what they believe in. Further, I’d never say what my title does to someone in person; even though that’s EXACTLY how I feel everything this “talk” comes up. I have dated and friended some of the most devout people to ever walk this Earth. I have respect for the genre, just not the love.

However, I think that if I am having problems, they are my own damn business and not a goddamn explanation owed to anyone. That if I wanted to talk to you about them I would. That if religion solved everything, then it would’ve by now. That I’m fucking old enough to decide whether I want religion in my life and what type at that. And even if I wasn’t, you don’t (and you never will) have the right to push any opinion down my throat as fact. I don’t need religion to solve my life. You might, and you might think I do. But I don’t. And I think it’d be nice if so many people stopped trying to convince me otherwise.

I’m Agnostic by the way. I won’t bother to explain what that is, since most people don’t actually know what it means to be Agnostic and only have the vague idea they do because they’re too damn lazy to look into it themselves. So stop being so damn lazy and go learn something, stupid.

The religious I meet ask me to take so much into consideration; I just wish they’d take my opinions into consideration too, before all too often assuming (much like their critics of their deities) that they don’t exist.

No Cameras Here

Dark Angel — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 07:31:14 PDT

So a while ago, I wrote a post about how I thought I’d lost my camera.
Turns out this time, I actually have.

From everything I’ve been able to piece together, I happened to be at my school’s computer lab and rushed out to catch my ride; leaving my camera behind in the process. It was discovered prior to its delivery to lost and found, only to be stolen by somebody on staff. Apparently only one of the staff members would have had knowledge of the camera and it’s location.

All the more ironic, given all the summer acquisitions I’ve been making, is how I’ve replaced practically all my old gear overnight & still don’t have a new camera. My [current] roommates say my room looks like an ad for Amazon.

So when people tell me I’ve got really bad luck, I guess this is the stuff they’re talking about.

Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked

Dark Angel — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 19:57:27 PDT

I don’t sleep. I just don’t. I never really have. In fact I can’t ever remember the last time I actually went to sleep. Woke. Rested. Recharged. It’s like it doesn’t exist. What constitutes my sleep pattern is lying down, blacking out, and waking up (usually to the sound of my roommates at the crack of dawn).

And before that, shit you not, was me literally not sleeping for 1 to 2 weeks at a time (as my ENTIRE college Freshman class can attest).

So when I have an actual dream, it’s kinda like this weird out of body experience. Not so much because that’s exactly what dreams are, but rather, not only is it such a rare experience for me, but also because these [dreams] are all too often preludes to real life events.

Or, in crazy talk? Whatever I dream, happens in real life.

*Yeah I get it, I sound crazy. Shut up & read.*

I can’t remember when things in my head started becoming reality, but I know that it’s never stopped freaking me out. Sometimes its to the point, ex – Dark finds a rare sandwich, and low and behold, I will have found a rare sandwich. Other times its more cerebral, like a scene of a place & I’m at it, and I have to figure out what I’m looking for, looking at, and why. I have seen so many things; things I should never have ever have had any type of knowledge of, and yet…I don’t know, it’s weird explaining.

I’ve seen myself fail midterms, lose girlfriends, realize my friends are in trouble, find money, and that’s just the tip of it all; and I watch it all become real, right in front of me.

Some of the wildest examples are the visions that I’ve told my friends about preemptively. Like the time I dreamed an old college buddy of mine had a beard. Man had never had a beard a day in his life. What’s more, I’d left that college for good and had the dream in a state 3 hours away. I had no plans, hopes, or intentions of running into this guy again. But sure enough, on the most random Summer afternoon ever, I ran into him. Not only that, but several people I’d shared the dream with were all able to confirm that this was indeed what I had described. Or then there was the time I told this girl I’d take her to Canada. I was trying to be cute. A few months later we’re both invited (by a friend of hers I’d never met before) to a movie at Niagara Falls, but wound up staying in Canada for the weekend instead. She (and the others I told about the dream) flipped. It’s still surreal.

I joke about it being 1 of Dark Angel’s many powers, but in truth, it makes no sense to even me, the guy who gets these ‘visions’. All I know is that things happen in my sleep, and then sooner or later, they happen in real life.

So dreams? Weird. Coming To Life? Weirder. Talking about it? Dark has always been crazy, so there.

So lately, I haven’t been dreaming, but I haven’t been really sleeping either. I’ve been rolling around every night for the last (I can’t even recall how) many nights. I’ve also been breaking out on the worst cold sweats. People familiar with ghost hauntings, or waking up with a fever at 3am in the morning might be familiar with the feeling. I think my body is trying to sleep, but is disturbed by something I can’t really understand or seem to remember from all my [lack of] slumber. I just keep waking up to this overwhelming sense of dejavu, like I should know what’s about to happen, but don’t quite. It’s like my mind is trying to tell me something, and I for the life of me can’t figure out what that is. If it is a vision thing, it’s big. If it’s stress that needs to be vacation-busted, then I’ll be cured fairly soon, lol.

I don’t understand this thing, and as far as I can tell, I can’t stop this, so whatever is happening, whether it be perceived or real, I hope I won’t have any reason to be afraid once I meet it headon.

TRIPLEKILL! – Mega Debt Bomb!!!!!

Dark Angel — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 05:30:13 PDT

Hell, even if you don’t read the blog, it’s no secret I’ve got a history with debt. I’m not so special in that regard though; welcome to America kids. This year I’ve been busting ass every single day to pay mine’s off and be done with it all, for good! I’ve been lucky enough to keep landing jobs so often (8 since The Great Recession started), and finding extra income I never knew even existed.

I set the target for termination at September of this year, but after the snow, it got pushed back a month. This past week however, I put away about 60% of my remaining commercial debt! Now I still have some personal bits to pay back, and my students loans are going nowhere fast, but man, talk about progress! With only 40% of my credit score damaging debt left, I’m more pumped than ever to finish this fight.

And while this was a big win, there’s no way I’m taking a break to celebrate. It’s time to end this once & for all!

(Photo by ElDave/flickr)

May Updates

Dark Angel — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 08:05:13 PDT

May marked a minuscule milestone in my year so far. The month seeths of difficult-flavored aftertaste, as opposed to everything fucking sucking the life out of me as in Q1 of the same year.

1. I’ve needed to get my shit in gear, or fail [class]. Not cool. Also-I hate school >.< I failed, but the classes weren’t for my major. Lesson leanred, come back stronger.
2. I’m now more certain than ever that the end to my debt is imminent.
3. I got my laptop stolen in March, which has made my life absolute Hell. It’s amazing how useless I feel & have become without a computer. I think I can go to my grave in the utmost certainty that using Internet Explorer 6 is the greatest injustice I have ever suffered.
4. To all the loyal listeners of the ConSeq Podcast, we haven’t died, we haven’t quit, and we are coming back.
5. I’m prepping for quite a few surprises in the coming months.
6. The last few months have been tough, and while the few who’ve listened to me whine probably don’t read this, I can’t thank them enough for being there.
7. This most recent update is the 4th iteration of the Free/Roam/Soul. Version 5 is going to Kickass!
8. I superfailed Spring semester. A learning experience in the worst way possible. I won’t slack this summer!
9. Some Mexican hacked my email account. Go me.
10. Up to working 3 jobs nowadays. Everyone tells me I look like Hell now.
11. In my time away at work, some Mexican hacked my email account. Now Google thinks I’m not me. Super.

Where’s Your Heart At? – Medically Speaking?

Dark Angel — Wed, 26 May 2010 15:03:37 PDT

Something might be wrong with my heart. No, literally.

Last night was probably one of the few times I’ve ever felt, “sick”? My wording’s so particular because I hardly ever get sick. I’ve only once taken a day off from work because I was “sick”, and that was only because the previous day I’d been gagging off of chemicals the manager decided to spray around the work area. So having a cold, or fighting the flu, not really things I’m used to as it were.

So imagine my surprise last night (at 4am) when I was jolted awake by a feeling of extreme nauseous. My body continued to go between chills and hot for the next 5 hours. I had a throbbing headache, congestion in my chest, shoulders, and base of my neck. And everything hurt. I was gonna just sleep it off, but wound up going to the local clinic to get a look over. Which is all the more ironic because I wound up dozing off as I waited for my appointment & felt 10 times better than I did prior to the extra sleep. The docs told me my blood sugar was low; more than likely due to me missing dinner last night. But they also heard some strange heart murmur; perhaps potential for heart damage. They can’t figure out what it is, so I have to go to the big hospital down town to have them look over me to make sure the murmur is just a murmur, and nothing else. Wouldn’t want anything to be wrong with Angel’s heart now.

So what’s wrong? Who knows? But $50 bucks says I’m too stressed for my little old heart to handle.

Update: The condition I have is called “Valvular Regurgitation”. I won’t know why it’s there, how bad it is, or how to fix it until July. Hope it doesn’t kill me before then, lol; not really….

(Photo By Bob.Fornal/flickr)

Back In The Green – The Debt Dies Slowly

Dark Angel — Tue, 25 May 2010 17:55:03 PDT

So my other 2 jobs covered the remaining losses of my once negative account. I’m still getting the direct deposit changed & I’m still stressed. But today was a small victory. As soon as I get all this debt paid off, I might actually go celebrate.

(Photo by elycefeliz/flickr)

The Squirrel and The Dark – The Utter Ridiculous

Dark Angel — Mon, 24 May 2010 08:50:28 PDT

(dianeham/flickr)

You know, I can’t spell ‘squirrel’. I don’t know why I can’t, I just can’t. Totally spellchecked; you’ve caught me red-handed.

Squirrels are interesting. One of the most cleaver animals around, and (though I may be the only one who thinks this) arguably one of the most financially smart creatures known to man. Think about it, this guy is all about the hustle! When have you ever seen a squirrel sitting still? They’re ALWAYS moving, and they’re NEVER wasting time. Squirrels spend most of their time looking for, harvesting (saving), and investing nuts. If nuts were money the little bastards’d be richer than all of us. It’s practically their entire day. Find a nut, repeat until you have a full load, store nuts for later. Repeat all day; break up the routine with an occasional snack. Such dedication. It’s the type of discipline you have to apply to personal finance. And what do they get for all that hard work? From what I’ve seen, some decent free time to relax, and quite a lot of sex. You ever see a squirrel not looking for food, chances are it’s racing through the trees or over a building with other squirrely buds just chillen. You ever see a squirrel having sex? Probably not, but take a look outside just for kicks; that population isn’t going down anytime soon. While you’re sleeping Mr. Squirrel is gettin’ it in & yea, the neighbors know his name. What a great life. Be financially prosperous, hang out with your boys, and sex it up. Squirrels have it too easy.

Dark Angel on the other hand…well I don’t know if interesting is the word we should use. Complicated, maybe? And no one understands him but his…oh wait, that’s another story. Dark overdrafted his account in April. The overdraft happened on account of Paypal refusing to believe his name was real; DESPITE having sorted out any identity issues well early into the start of his 2.5 year tenure with the company. The Paypal flag [stopping an automatic payment to one of his bills] triggered a flag at his brick-and-motor bank. A hold up that’s costs more than Dark has ever needed to spend; seeing how it wasn’t his fault. But while most of the damage was undone, not enough to keep the brick-and-motor account out of the negative zone. No big though, he could probably handle this. He’s going to be a finance major afterall, remember. Dark went to see the wonderful HR wizard of Oz about changing his direct deposit from his negative account to his positive account. 3 Times! 3 times the wizard acknowledged his request & 3 times ignored it all the same. The last request would have been a magical blessing for Dark’s [positive] bank account and overall finances, but upon the day anticipated, there was only disappointment. There was a lot of rage too, but anger is so very tiring for The Dark these days. His old bones simply yearn for a simpler time. So Dark watched his phone payment (along with everything else) float away like a cloud. Which normally wouldn’t have been that big an issue, but unknown to The Dark, the wicked witch of the border sent some Mexcian hacker-monkey to cripple Dark’s email. Dark was allowed to retrieve access to his email, on one condition, the meager expense of verifying a text or phone call to the phone number on file; which would be possible if not for the the fact that his phone can’t be used until the phone bill is paid, which never happened because the wonderful wizard of HR never transfered his direct deposit!

RESIDUAL RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…sigh…Leaving Dark with virtually no possible way to get in touch with almost anyone and vice versa. Money mismanagement for the fucking win. And what does Dark get for his hard work? He gets to work 3 jobs, just to break even and cover his bills. He gets a bunch of rowdy roommates who never go to sleep & when they do they snore so loud you can hear them from anywhere in the house. He gets tired beyond recover, in addition to clients, classmates, and 3 sets of co-workers all telling him he looks dead on arrival and far too tired for someone his age. Course it’s a lot more sobering when he hears the same thing from the homeless community. He gets to come home every night and see his eyes so bloodshot you’d swear he was jacked up on something he conjured up special that you can’t find on the streets. He gets to spend a lot of time thinking about things he doesn’t get, things he can’t have, and things he’ll probably never have, no matter how bad he may need them. And he gets no support; though he’s not sure he’d even take it if he had the option. And that’s just the stuff on the surface.

After everything I’ve had to deal with this month, I think it’s time to get my squirrel on.

Not Dead & Not Ignoring

Dark Angel — Tue, 18 May 2010 12:55:30 PDT

(darkpatator/flickr)

And here we go, again….

Since I know most of the people reading this aren’t getting it firsthand from my Twitter, I thought I’d address some of the things quite a few people have tried to ask/bring up (judging my by all my facebook msgs and people trying to email me).

1) I’m working 3 jobs. I’m busy. [Most of] You were busy when I tried calling you 2-3 months ago.

2) @Friends who should know – No, I’m not talking to you, but I’m not ignoring you. You’re on my list, you’re just not priority. If you had time to listen (when I called), you’d know why. You know who you are; and if you don’t, clearly we aren’t friends anymore.

3) I’ve met about 20+ something to 30+ something people in the last 5 days or so who’ve all decided it’d be a good idea to network with yours truly. Regrettably, in my time away at work, I’ve had my email hacked. I’ve seen some of the messages, but that’s why I’ve yet been unable to respond. It’s my fault for not tightening things up. Soon as I get things sorted out, I’ll start replying.

February Updates

Dark Angel — Thu, 06 May 2010 08:29:50 PDT

Yeah, yeah, okay. I know it’s a little uber-late. Here’s a small update of everything that went down before my life started going crazy again. February was supposed to go so well, and then that #$%^ing blizzard of the century hit and @$$#@ed everything up. I am so $$#%ing done with snow, for life! But in all seriousness, it’s a good idea to have a plan in case a natural disaster strikes; you never really know what tomorrow will look like.

(Santa Cor●๋•/flickr)

1. I’ve made effort to thoroughly announce my trip to New Jersey this month, though I still feel there will be those who claim I made no such efforts.
2. I found my camera!
3. I got a surprise check for $125 in the mail
4. I’ve got my schedule & accommodations set for Momocon
5. Even though I didn’t really study, I passed my 1st quiz (in years) with a 70. I’ll get more serious from here on out, but this is a big deal for me after being out of class for so long.
6. For the 1st time ever I’m witnessing a blizzard 1sthand. Stupid snow.
7. Superbowl fun
8. Week of Valentine’s = Jersey/Valentine’s Day/Not Date/Hot Date CANCELED!
9. More snow! FML!
10. I finally got around to taking down F/R/S ver. 1. However, the snow has delayed the next phase of the site.
11. I updated the F.A.Q.
12. I’ve made impressive efforts against my debt.
13. I almost found myself buried alive.
14. I broke my suitcase
15. I did my taxes for free
16. The effects of Snowerdraft incite my Red Lantern Rage

Brookes Brothers – Mistakes [DnB]

Dark Angel — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 08:30:53 PDT

Bouncy number by the Brothers Brookes. Easy driving music I’s calls it.

[Drum'n'Bass Daily]

What’s Your Middle Name?

Dark Angel — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 11:15:24 PDT

I have no middle name. A small error on my part, but never more than a minor setback. However, if I ever had to pick a middle name, it would’ve been Obsidian. That phrase has always kinda been really symbolic to me. Also, if I had picked that for my middle name, then I would’ve had the coolest initials, D.O.A.

(Photo by quinn.anya/flickr)

Gypsy Magic

Dark Angel — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 08:30:56 PDT

pixn8tr/flickr

If you’ve never reloacted, then you could never fathom what it’s like to have to your life shaken up and/or to have to restart all over again (in that retrospect). For some people it can be rather jarring. For someone like me, it’s a way of life. A gut-wrentching feeling of ‘WOW, Mama!’ that hits you like a brickwall everytime.

Or in my case, every 6 to 9 months.

I’ve probably stayed somewhere for longer than a year at SOMEPOINT in my life. But truth be told, I can’t remember it. I was origianlly born in Arizonia; it snowed that week according to an old photo. Ironic if I do say so myself.

I’ve moved around so much I can’t even remember everywhere I’ve been too. I say roughly 24-25 states, but I started the 50 State Challenge* to back those claims up. It’s one thing to brag about a trip, but a picture says 1,000 words without you even speaking.

What you gain, being on the road, it’s, it’s indescribible. And yet, quite absolutely invaluable all the same. You gain a real sense of culture (that of yourself & others), you learn things about yourself you never knew, and for better or worse you grow in ways you can NEVER unsee. It’s intense, surreal, powerful. Two sides to every coin though. You tend to lose friends when you move, it can be hard to readjust sometimes, and moving (or any form of travel) can be costly.

To a decent extent technology has taken a lot of difficultly out of moving. Search engines let you scope out the new pad before you even step outside. Social networks let you stay in contact with old/good friends. Deal & coupon sites let you book massive savings on travel (or travel back). But it’s still a game changer, every single time.

Having done it so much, I’ve gotten everything down to more or less a routine.

Step 1-Go to new area. Step 2-Get instantly famous because everyone in a 200-ft radius can’t stop gossiping about name.

That’s not really it, just what ends up happening. I tend to go where my business takes me. Feels a lot like being a cowboy. I try to stay out of trouble & never get too far with that one. I try as hard and as long as possible to stay standoffish, offensive & unbarable. See I have this guilty pleasure. I love to meet new people, and like, interact with them. And friends are the best new people. Certainly better than the cops. But I hate it when I make new friends, because it’s always the same. At some point I will leave, and at some point it’ll feel like all the time we spent together (especially if she’s a cute friend) will have been for nothing. Everyone wants to talk you out of leaving, even if they know there’s nothing they can do to stop you. It’s harder on the person moving because they’ve got to constantly be reminded that everything’s about to change. For reals, for reals. I make the best use of my surroundings, and if I ever run into trouble, I try to rely on what I’ve learned in other cities. I’m still horrible with directions, but I always try to commit the local [insert whatever] scene to memory. Never know when it will come in handy. If I’m returning, I try to revisit old locales, not out of nostaliga, but rather to refresh the memory. Again, never know when I’ll need to know where anything is.

Moving’s [to or fro] far less complicated. It’s just become so 2nd-nature to make plans, and aquire whatever means I need to get out & go. But all to often it usually comes down to the best option that can get me out of town at the last minute. I often joke, give me a smartphone & $50 and I’ll have a place to stay in less than a week. You usally try to pack light, but sometimes you collect more than you think. Both physically & mentally. My intent is never to come in & wreck and good thing for anyone, but I’ve broken my share of hearts. I’m sure that trend will continue. Living so unstably, you really see life from so many other perspectives, which can be good sometimes. Though for someone like me, it’s the only constant.

*There are various forms of ‘The 50 State Challenge’ & you can no doubt find countless individuals & groups devoted to it online. I simply used that name because it made the most sense at the time.

Commix – Talk to Frank [DnB]

Dark Angel — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 08:30:20 PDT

Another piece by Commix. Great to mix in if you DJ I’d assume…And we got some remix goodness by Break no less.

*Disclosure: This Is An Affiliate Link. Should you chose to indulge the link & make an actual purchase, you will quicken the inevitable, by making me slightly richer & putting me one click closer to taking over the world. However, you will also be supporting the artist that made this song. Thereby giving them the financial support to continue, giving me more greatness to talk about, and giving yourself more music to enjoy.

[Drum'n'Bass Daily]

Mantra 1 – Live Your Life For Wat?!?

Dark Angel — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 11:00:18 PDT

-Live your life for what it is, not what ju wish it to be.

This simplistic concept is something I fathomed up my 1st year of college. Aim to change yourself, not the world. By changing yourself, you’ll automatically change the world around you.

*Case & Point – There are 2 barriers in life. ‘Limits’ & ‘Necessities’. This rule, the most important of the individual eleven disciplines, applies solely to the Necessitates. Key difference? Limits are what you can not do, Necessities are what’s necessary. The rule, word for word, means not going against ‘Your Grain’; not ‘The Grain’, your grain. Notice how I didn’t say ‘The Grain’? You’re life is supposed to be [ideally] balanced at all times. Living your life for what it is means, [not what ju want it to be] means not fighting over stupid shit for no reason, means not doing something that’ll get you fired from a secure job, means not buying crap that adds no value to your life, only to impress and/or influence others. It means not doing things that will do nothing to benefit you, your bottom line, and/or your endgame. Sticking to what’s nessecary.

Ben McLeod /flickr

Commix – Japanese Electronics [DnB]

Dark Angel — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 08:30:11 PDT

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Commix! Man I really do! This guy does dark DnB better than any one else out there. And we love all things Dark here at the Free/Roam/Soul.

[Drum'n'Bass Daily]

Never Enough Hours

Dark Angel — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 14:56:57 PDT

I don’t have nearly all the time I’d like to do all the things I’d want to, or even acknoledge all the people that deserve it, but I won’t stop trying. Days like today are a good reminder of why I want to be better. Achievement is never savored, improvement is the only goal.