I have plenty of ideas for new posts, but I’ve been busy with… Hell, I really have no excuses! I just haven’t been as motivated to post to this blog as I have been to do other, higher priority tasks in my life.

I’ve had a lot going on in the last few months, as I’m sure everyone else has. There have been a few changes in my life, but things are still getting better and better.

Some of the things I’m thinking about blogging about are employment (this is big with me now, for a number of reasons), self-improvement (because I’m fighting my way out of another rut), and motivation (which is really integral to improving yourself, but is still a separate issue).

With the recession currently big in the news (which I still try to stay away from!), I’m thinking more and more about ways of generating income on the side, so you can expect some future posts addressing this topic, too.

If you have any ideas for me or would just like to say hello, feel free to leave a comment or contact me via my contact page.

This has honestly always bothered me. I’ve worked hard to build up habits that will get me where I need to be on time and to drop those bad habits that get in the way of timeliness. I’ve met with some success over the years, but the underlying issue of tardiness has stuck with me.

I’m getting a little introspective here, but I believe all this may be due to some inner rebellion against society. Call it my own little revolution against the man. I just want to do my own thing without having to worry about some arbitrary set of rules imposed by someone else.

This sounds a bit childish, I’m sure. Like most people, I definitely see the value in being on time. It’s essential to be on time or early to a job interview. There are also other situations where it’s vital to be on time (like, catching a plane). Being habitually late is generally considered a sign that a person isn’t dependable, too. This can be a difficult label to overcome once it’s applied.

There is also a bright side to being late, though. It occurred to me recently that many times when I’ve been late, there has definitely been a reason. I’m almost always doing something that is valuable to me, something that is, in that moment, far more important than whatever it is I might be rushing out to do. In fact, there’s a huge opportunity cost in stressing yourself to always be on time.

Thinking back, there have been many times I’ve taken just a few extra moments to enjoy that last sip of excellent coffee, a few more words of conversation with a loved one or a good friend, another long hug and “I love you” from one of my children, or a few minutes more of closeness with someone I love. How can you place a value on these precious moments?

These are the times that will be most important to you when you look back on your life. No one is going to eulogize you and say how great you were because you were always on time. No one will wipe away a tear and comment on your excellent punctuality. However, many will remember those precious few moments that you spent with them, doing something you love with someone you love.

Near the bottom of the article, though, it struck me that the same advice he gives in the article works well for dealing with disappointment:

If any of this makes you mad, that’s a step in the right direction. Anger is a higher level of consciousness than apathy, so it’s a lot better than being numb all the time. Any emotion — even confusion — is better than apathy. If you work through your feelings instead of repressing them, you’ll soon emerge on the doorstep of courage. And when that happens, you’ll have the will to actually do something about your situation and start living like the powerful human being you were meant to be instead of the domesticated pet you’ve been trained to be.

This is great advice. Instead of just letting the disappointments and stresses of life kick our butts, we need to use them as motivation to move forward. Yes, it’s incredibly difficult to change the habits that have gotten us entrenched in bad situations, but if we’re able to channel that emotion, that discontent, that extreme discomfort, into something useful, there are tremendous strides to be made in success, satisfaction, and happiness.

I know a lot of bloggers will answer that they would do it for free or that it’s a a labor of love, etc. I don’t have any problem with this idea at all. Honestly, much of my blogging has been more of a cathartic, networking experience rather than an outright attempt to make money.

Yes, I make a few bucks from this blog, but not nearly enough to live off of. With that said, though, how many of you are making any kind of money from blogging? Maybe I should start another survey to find out. I think there are probably many bloggers out there who are making some money from their blog even if it isn’t doing away with the need for the day job.

In his article, Mark speculates that there are probably more people who have won more than $25,000 from lotteries than there are making more than $25,000 per year from blogging. I wonder if this is true. Anyone care to admit to being a part of this elite crowd?

I went through a range of emotions as I came to terms with the result of my efforts and as I thought about it, I realized it might be helpful for me to write about. I find a kind of catharsis in writing and also feel that some of you may benefit from my experience as well.

I’m no psychiatrist, but I do believe there are stages that a person goes through in dealing with disappointment just like when grieving. In fact, disappointment could be seen as a loss of opportunity that certainly could trigger the grieving process. With that said, here are the steps that occurred to me:

1. Be hurt. It’s OK. It’s likely that a lost opportunity will leave you with injured pride or injured feelings. Don’t fight this feeling. Just let it happen, but don’t dwell there for long in self pity. Let it go.

2. Allow yourself to be angry. Maybe not everyone will feel this way, but I found myself getting angry after the initial shock passed. This is another emotion that’s useful, but only in the short term in this case. Let it be a motivator to further progressive action, but don’t allow it to fester and consume you. As with hurt, just let it go.

3. Take a little time. Yes, take a breather for a little while and let things sink in. It often helps to give these things a day or two to sink in. With a good night’s rest or two, your perspective on events will begin to change and the other emotions will begin to fade.
Count your blessings.

4. Count your blessings. I’m sure if you consider for a moment you’ll see that there are many good things in your life. Things aren’t as bad as they may seem at times. It may take a bit more than a couple of days, but let yourself enjoy the good things about the life you have.

5. Put a positive spin on events. As you realize that there definitely are good things in your life, spend some time casting the events of your disappointment into a better light. Don’t misunderstand that I’m advising you to lie to yourself. Far from it. What I would like to stress is that there are different ways to view the things that have occurred. You can choose to view them from a positive perspective or you can dwell on the negative. It’s your choice.

6. Get back on the horse. After you’ve taken some time and worked through the earlier stages of this process, it’s time to get back to work. Whatever your disappointment was, don’t allow it to haunt you through life. Remember that there will always be some disappointments and failures in life and that those who overcome the trials are the ones who will be successful. There’s no other path to success.

I truly hope that these steps are of some value to you. Taking the time to write about this topic has been a positive experience for me and I’m ready to get back to work. How about you?

Actually, I just moved to a new apartment in the last few weeks and, as many of you know from experience, the moving process doesn’t end when everything has been moved to the new place. In fact, much of the work still remains to be done after the ‘move’ has been done.

So, we spent the weekend unpacking, organizing, and getting rid of many things that no longer have value or no longer have a use for us (Yes, I said ‘us’ – I have a new girlfriend and we’re living in sin. Shhhhhh…).

While going through all this stuff, it really struck me as to how much we accumulate over the years. There were a number of things of my own that I no longer used or needed. This is after just moving about a year and a half ago and throwing away a mountain of stuff at that time, too. My girlfriend was no exception. We ended up taking boxes and boxes to a consignment store for children’s clothing and toys and also to charity.

The funny thing is that the apartment still isn’t all the way cleared out. Most of the boxes are gone, but many still remain. I still have to go through a lot of old clothing of my own (did I really ever wear that shirt? UGH!) and boxes of papers and, well, just junk.

All of this stuff is weighing on me, though. The clutter becomes an awful burden that lingers in the corner of my mind when I’m away at work as well as the corner of my eye when I’m at home. I need to get organized.

I wrote an article last year around this time about how to deal with lack of motivation. One of the points that I made in that article was that getting rid of useless junk in our immediate environment is cathartic and helps to not only clear our living spaces, but also to clear our minds.

This idea still holds just as true today, if not even more. I feel better after having gotten rid of so much that I no longer need, but much remains to be accomplished. There are boxes to be unpacked still, papers to be gone through and filed or disposed of, and decisions to be made about whose stuff we’re going to keep.

This is a lot of work and exhausting, to say the least. Honestly, I would love to take the whole week off of work and finish the job. Yes, the whole week because I think it will take that long to really get the job done the way I’d like to.

Ultimately, I realize that it’s vitally important to clean house on a regular basis. It’s important to refresh out surroundings as well as our minds and spirits. In my mind, both are intimately connected. Just as a healthy body is key to a healthy mind, an uncluttered space is key to an uncluttered mind.

I have to admit, though, that there are some things I don’t care for at my new job. Some of these are pretty minor and easily overlooked. Others are potentially cause for greater concern. The question here is how much can you really change about your job?

I’ve blogged about how to know when it’s time to change jobs, but how about making changes to your current job to make it more suitable, more palatable on a daily basis? Is this really a valid option?

I think this is an important question for many people who are dissatisfied with at least some aspect of their employment situation. We spend so much time at work, going to and from work, and thinking about work that any positive improvement will have a great impact on our overall well being.

My own sense of the answer to this question is pretty straightforward: it’s been my experience that things are not likely to change much for the better if you start making complaints at work. Many employers have a hard time dealing with the idea that their company or their management style isn’t unanimously viewed as perfect.

Sure, some managers are certainly reasonable people who are open to suggestions. However, there is usually more to creating a substantial change in the workplace than just changing the mind of one person. Most companies have set policies that tend to be fairly rigid due to employment regulations and in order to minimize the potential for litigation.

This all tends to provide a very large barrier to any meaningful change at work. Often the person making a complaint is thereafter viewed with suspicion and branded as disloyal. After this point has been reached, there is really no other option for the employee than to find another job.

I know I’m sounding pretty jaded here, but I do think there are some instances where you can change things at work for the better. These changes have to come from you, the employee, though. If you can change the way you work or change the way you think about work, then this can have a tremendous positive effect on your working environment and will most likely change the way others in the workplace view you, and ultimately, how they treat you.

This isn’t to say that changes can’t be made by speaking to the appropriate person in charge. I do think this is possible in some cases, but it has to be approached in such a delicate, diplomatic way that it’s often too dangerous to even attempt.

I’d love to hear what any of you have to say about making changes in your workplace. Feel free to leave a comment with any insights or stories you may have.

I don’t know if I’m any different from anyone else in this regard, but if I feel like my forward progress has stalled on any particular front, I know it’s time to make some changes. Maybe it’s time to learn a new skill, go back to school for that MBA, or even just start a hobby. Or, maybe it’s time for me to start blogging again.

Over the last few months I’ve lost a lot of readers due to my own lack of posting. At one time I had more than 1200 subscribers to my RSS feed. I’ve been thinking about this blog a lot lately, but today is the first time I’ve logged on and actually started to write a post. I performed some much-needed maintenance and upgraded to the latest version of Wordpress.

It feels good to be working with FreshBlogger again. I’ve had this blog through a number of significant changes in my life and I believe it really helped me to write about things, even when unrelated to the events going on behind the scenes. It also was a great help to be a member of the blogging community and to be supported through tough times by my blogging friends.

So, what am I trying to say in this meandering post? I think I’m trying to say that I’m restless (duh!) and that I’m going to make a renewed effort to begin posting again on a regular (or irregular) basis. Feel free to chime in with your thoughts!

When we go through these experiences, it’s important to remember that there is still a sun behind those clouds. As important as our loved ones, friends, jobs, homes, cars, and other things in life are to us, there is more in our lives than just one person or job or possession. The pain and emptiness of loss can only be dealt with by accepting that we’ve lost someone or something very precious and then realizing that there are other precious things in our lives to cherish.

With this in mind, don’t wait until you’ve lost someone or something important to you before filling your life with good things. Take time to search for those rays of sunlight while there are few clouds in the blue sky. Meet new people, try new foods, and experience life to the fullest every day. Living a full and passionate life won’t save you from the pain of loss, but will help to insulate you from the worst of the pain and quickly put you on the road to recovery.

1. Your skills are not respected. If you feel that your employer doesn’t recognize your value to the company, then it may be time for a change. Do you find that your opinions are taken for granted or that your judgment isn’t taken seriously? If you’re always wrong in the eyes of your employer, then there is definitely a problem.

Take the time to examine yourself, though. Are you really contributing as much as you can? Are you proving your value in your work assignments? If not, it may be worthwhile talking with your supervisor and asking for more challenging or interesting work. If this isn’t an option, then it’s time to start looking.

2. You’re stuck. If you’ve been in the same position, doing the same things, for nearly the same pay, for a long time, it’s time to shake things up. Has your job title been the same for five years? Do you have the same level of responsibility you had three years ago? Is your pay increasing at a snail’s pace with cost of living type raises? Enough is enough.

Again, look at your situation from an outside perspective before making final decisions. It’s true that you’re much more likely these days to make significant gains in salary and benefits by changing jobs than you are by staying at a job for a long time. However, if you’re content with what you’re making and/or the market won’t support paying much more for the work you do, then the scenario may be a little different. You may want to communicate to your supervisor that you’re ready for more responsibilities. It’s also possible that there may be another role in the same organization that can be more satisfying and more lucrative for you.

3. You’re bored! If you simply can’t get into what you’re doing right now, then it may be time to leave. There is some evidence that the human mind needs change in order to defeat boredom and depression. Many of us spend the greater part of our lives, more than 40 hours per week, working. This is a lot of time to be spending performing tasks that aren’t stimulating our brains in the ways that they need in order to thrive.

You have to be careful, though, that you’re focusing on the right parts of your life that need change or improvement. It could be that more outside activities will liven up your life. Perhaps meeting new people is what you need rather than switching jobs. Try expanding your social and activity circle to see if it makes life more interesting and enjoyable for you. If your work situation doesn’t improve after making some changes in your outside activities, then it may be time for you to move on.

Being unhappy in your employment has a profound effect on your life. When your job no longer is satisfying, you often begin thinking all sorts of negative thoughts about yourself. You start thinking that you’re not good at what you do, so maybe you should choose another career. You may think you’re just a bad employee, lazy, sloppy, or unintelligent. These thoughts are self-defeating and self-destructive. Instead of beating yourself up, take some time to make some changes to make your life and work more interesting, challenging, and enjoyable.