My first year of mommyhood

End of the year wrap up

2010-12-29T22:15:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update. All is very well on my end. Rosie is strong as an ox and in the 95th percentile in height. Sufficient to say, the giant genes have taken over.

Our relationship with her dad has improved significantly. He has been reliable taking Rosie overnights now. His parents and siblings are thrilled. They can't get enough of her.

She sleeps in her crib now thanks to him. I wanted to fully participate in Shopify's Christmas party (aka. I wanted to get sloshed for the first time since June 2009) so I handed her to him for 4 nights straight. It was a beautiful weekend of blissful sleep.

I've been so caught up in the routine of daily life that I haven't had much time to write. The holidays are exactly what I need to recharge and prioritize what I want to do with my life.

I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm working on a new blog for the New Year and will post it up soon.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Future Rosie

2010-10-25T20:45:00.005-04:00

This is my goal with Rosie - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka5talLGpPs&feature=related

In memory of my aunt

2010-10-21T21:19:00.002-04:00

My aunt passed away this Saturday. She had been battling with breast cancer for years. I wasn't able to make it to her funeral because I had to watch Rosie. My family is superstitious and believe that being around dead people is bad luck for babies. My cousin, who's wife is pregnant, was not allowed to go either. I'm torn in my relief that I didn't have to feel that tidal wave of grief. I was able to stunt and distract myself with Rosie but I missed being with my aunt. She and I were never close but she was a steady figure in my life. She was one of the two aunts whom my mother confided my pregnancy too. She was a kindred spirit.

I saw the slideshow that was played at her funeral. Black & white photos of her teenage years in Viet Nam slowly morphed into grainy, color photos of her beginnings in Canada. She met her husband during University. You see them standing in front of school together. Suddenly, a baby appears in her arms. Then a second baby boy; a third. I watched as her sons grew up and Christmases passed. Pictures of family vacations, then single vacations when her sons met their wives. White hair starts appearing but her adventures still went on. I even got to see myself growing up in some of the photos.

It's incredible how death invigorates life. My mind has not stopped wondering since the news of her death. How precious life is.

My aunt led a full and healthy life. She swam everyday for the last 10 years. All 3 sons have grown up into respectable professionals. Her home has grown and so has her glorious garden. She had everything a life could offer. It makes me wonder what is in store for me.

I think life is all about luck. Things get thrown in your path and it's up to you to take action. People pass in and out, many leave footprints though you may not realize. I've met some amazing people through my blog, SIFE and work.

In the quiet moments of my day, I keep thinking, "How am I going to live this life?"

Life has become a routine lately. The adventure has calmed and I catch myself asking "where has the time gone?" This is no way to live life. Every second is precious. I read half of The Power of Now, and its words grounded me into the present. I went for weeks appreciating life for at least an hour (typically between the time I left work and bused home; ha ha). Time slowed and suddenly disappeared. I began to feel life.

To my aunt. May I live at least half the life she lived.

Rosie Updates

2010-10-06T22:15:00.002-04:00

The little monster pulled herself up into a kneeling position in her crib the other day and ate half a sweet potato.

Attempt # 1

Attempt #2

Ok, screw the head band.

The story behind this one is priceless. Rosie wanted to go to sleep but my cousin and I just HAD to watch this funny Youtube video... which led to a series of Youtube sharing. This was Rosie's face as she waited. She eventually fell asleep like that and started to fall forward.

This is just awesome.

The most important question you'll ever ask

2010-09-21T21:39:00.003-04:00

We are all in search of something. We are always evolving, changing.

But what if this wasn't true. What if all that matters is something you've had all along.

Before death, you are stripped of everything and left with just one thing;

Yourself.

Perhaps the most important question you'll ever ask is who is that person?

Moment of the week

2010-09-16T22:41:00.003-04:00

I'm at work, jamming to some music with my co-workers.

me: Hey guys? Do you ever break out into dance when you're alone in your house?

Dennis: Ummmmm. Noooo (pause for 2 seconds) but I can see you doing that.

(everyone starts laughing)

Jeremy: OMG. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

me (silently thinking): What the hell is so funny about breaking out into random dance?

Bleak

2010-09-10T23:01:00.003-04:00

It seems like with the end of summer, so to comes the end of my blissfulness. Rosie's dad has decided to step back into her life. It's been not even a week and I find myself completely drained. I feel depressed, I can't sleep and Rosie has picked up on my carefully hidden emotions.

I haven't slept more than 2 hours at a time in 5 days. Rosie is restless. She can't sleep and thrashes around, waking up every 30 mins and crying herself back to sleep. I lie in my room staring at the ceiling. My nerves are frayed, my attention is zapped and I feel like I'm going to break any second. Custody talks are not going well. Why is it that after disappearing for 6 months, 3 days after my lawyer calls, D appears at the doorstep of his parents begging to let him move back home? He has broken up with his girlfriend and needs a place to re-collect his life. He realizes his "mistakes" and wants to start fixing things.

A 15 minute talk alone with him is like pounding my head against brick. He still lies, he still exaggerates, and he still has his head stuck up his ass. He says all the perfect things, but I hear undertones of deceit. Something in my core is telling me not to trust him, don't give him an inch but will the necessary people see these things too. I wonder at his sudden return home. Is this a stupid scheme to devoid me from sole custody? Does he drive back to his girlfriend every evening to reassure her that I will drop everything and he'll be back soon? He is still paying rent and I have seen her calling him.

I need to protect my daughter from him but I don't know how to. Was I wrong to keep her? Would she have a better life if she had a mother and a father? I rock her to sleep in the dark, door closed, muffling all sound. Just me and her... I am humming our lullaby. The sound bounces off the walls making the small room feel bare. I feel the responsibility of her precious life bearing down on me. I feel so alone. At the end of the day, I am all she has.

The first thing my best friend's dad said when he saw Rose was, "Ah. A baby raising another baby". He lay his hand on Rosie's forehead for a minute and shuffled away shaking his head.

Miss Incredible

2010-09-04T22:34:00.002-04:00

I'm in shock. Rosie only cried for 30 minutes before falling asleep! Ferberization = success!!!! Ok, it's really only day two but both nights, she's only cried for half an hour vs. the hour and a half last time :-)

I feels weird being "normal" again. I almost didn't know what to do with my sudden spare time. It's incredible how that one effort of pushing Rosie out of my bed has done. I can DO stuff when she sleeps. I don't quite know how to explain this shining, white light that seems to have fallen upon me. ha ha. Incredible.

However, with every up, there's a down. Rosie is behaving wonderfully but my teenage sister is not. My family is being attacked by the teenage rebellious stage. It's getting annoying. My sister is delusional and thinks that she can survive on her own and doesn't need us. If we say no to any of her commands, she disregards it and walks out. My mom pulled a leg muscle this week and had to take care of Rosie. She asked my sister if she could refrain from going shopping to stay and watch Rose. My sister left anyways. I've tried talking to her maturely and dripping with empathy but she's taking it the wrong way. She's twisting it to benefit her. I'm at my wits end. My last attempt to smack some sense into her is with "the experiment".

She thinks she can live on her own, I'm going to let her (to a certain extent). If you want to live on your own, then you better prove that you're financially able to or else the homeless shelter is where you'll find yourself. She can do whatever she wants but rent, utilities, groceries will need to come from somewhere. Oh, and feeding herself might become burdensome.

It's frustrating that in a time when she should be focusing on applying for college and university, she's going to be scrambling to realize that her knowledge of the world is a lot smaller than she thought. It's going to be a hard lesson but one she'll have to take or I'm afraid my parents will soon snap and ask her to leave permanently. I would describe my used-to-be sweet sister as the typical, conformed teenager with no passion (except texting and shopping), no goals and livin' in the suburb bubble. I was pretty stupid when I was a teenager, but my sister has surpassed me.

Another tidbit of news, Rose's dad has broken up with his crazy girlfriend and has moved back home. What a stroke of luck (this is sarcasm). This happens 3 days after he receives a call from my lawyer informing him that I have filed for sole custody. We shall see what happens. I will need to talk to D soon. I hired my lawyer to do this for me, but he made me realize that I could only hide so much from D. My lawyer won't always be there to talk for me. I am procrastinating so much. All instinct is telling me to not give him an inch, don't give him a chance to ever hurt Rosie again. My heart is asking to be compassionate and to believe that maybe, good will prevail.

It doesn't help that he's appearing in every dream again.

August updates

2010-08-24T21:37:00.003-04:00

I'm writing this as Rosie lies next to me in bed, her screams muffled by her feet. Life has passed by in a blur of work, Rosie, sunshine and family gatherings.

I regret not writing in my blog as much as I used to.

A few updates, ferberization was a complete fail. Rosie gets uber sweaty when she cries. That coupled with the 40 degree whether we had created a very uncomfortable position for Rosie. I'd come into her room to find her bed drenched in sweat which was cold from the fan blowing on her. The cooler weather is starting to come in so I will try again soon. I'm said to admit that I do enjoy sleeping with her now. It's comforting being able to sleep next to another human and wake up at her smile. I didn't expect it, but Rosie wakes up with a smile on her face almost every morning.

She rolls over now too. She just did it and I'm watching as she struggles to unpin her left arm from underneath her. It takes her a good 6 or 7 rolls before she finals has enough momentum to pull her arm out. It's hilarious. I can't leave her on my bed unsupervised anymore. She'll move quite quickly but pushing her feet while keeping her face planted in the mattress. She hasn't yet learnt the role of arms in crawling.

Life is great. I'm having a blast at work. I'm learning so much working with SIFE Carleton. Our website is soon coming up so I'll be posting that up soon. :)

My Journey Through Adoption: The end

2010-07-16T23:32:00.004-04:00

My counselor was a surprise. I was very suspicious of my lawyer by January. I was starting to think that she had purposely kept the profiles from me so that I would feel like I had no choice but to select from her list. There was no time left to find the other lawyer and get to know him in order to get his profiles.

My counselor pushed me hard about my decision to give up the baby. The first thing she asked was, "What's stopping you from keeping your baby?"

"Mostly money. I don't want to have to work 2 or 3 jobs just to make ends meet. I can't live with my parents. I'm not done school. I forfeited my maternity benefits (about $500) in order to get off work early".

"Money should not stop you. Have you looked into welfare?"

She told me about her past experiences with birth mothers. You usually stay in the hospital for a maximum of 48 hours, unless there are complications. You get 48 hours with your child before the adoptive parents take him/her. It's recommended you don't see the baby. Wait, WHAT?

I couldn't believe what her words. I thought maybe she was confused about my situation. I wanted an open adoption. I wasn't just give birth and walk away.

"The girls who stay every minute with their baby till the hospital throws them out are the ones who suffer the most. Honestly, I've had to carry girls out of the hospital because they're crying so hard. I love my job, but I hate this part".

She looked me straight into the eyes.

"Theresa. Trust me on this. You have no idea how much your heart is going to break when you walk out of the hospital room and leave your baby lying in her crib. You don't know when you'll see that baby again. Once your parental rights are gone, you have no say in that baby's life. Don't make it any harder than it has to be".

I'm pretty sure a part of me died when she said this. All I could picture was my counselor cradling a 16 year old girl slumped in her arms as if the world had beaten her to the ground and there was nothing left. Was that going to be me?

The next day, I looked into welfare. I'm going to rant a bit about how stupid the system is. Hopefully, you'll never even have to call and inquire about welfare. The system wouldn't qualify me for welfare until I had $500 in my bank account. By then, I had about $1000 left from my savings. If I was put on welfare, they were going to force me to get a job and get off welfare as soon as possible. The entire thing sounded ridiculous. The process was idiotic in itself. You had to be in immediate need of money (ie. on the verge of poverty) for them to CONSIDER you.

"Screw that", was my response.

-----------------------------------------------

I, finally, got my profiles a few days after meeting my counselor. Let me shatter your world for a bit. What comes to mind about these profiles is NOTHING like in reality. I received 8 profiles, was told to read through them and to only take, maybe, 4 of them home.

Pause.

You mean I can't even leave the office and take my time reading through them?

"No, I just don't want 4 good profiles leaving the office that I could maybe give to someone else if you're not even going to pick them", was Andrea's reason.

I think it was in that moment that I decided I was going to keep the baby. Everything after just reaffirmed it.

You would expect these profiles to be lengthy, highly descriptive and informative. Again, NO. I can't even describe to you how disappointed I was at this essential part of the adoption process. The profiles were hand-made, duotang type packages that were self complied by the potential parents. They had headings like "How I met Julie... Why Andrew is the perfect father... Why we believe spanking is wrong".

That was the stupidest column. Of course you're not going to say you believe in spanking! No one would choose you. Why do you even bother to waste space writing it!?

I felt like I was carrying fairytales in my hands. Every family sounded too perfect. Fake. Guess how thick these duotangs were? I'd say no more than 10 pages. Maybe 4 if you took out all the pictures. I was going to choose the future parents of my child based on 4 pages of fluff.

I asked to see the notes that the social worker who evaluated the parents took.

"Oh! I can't give you those. blah blah bullshit bullshit. I can read you them though". She scanned and highlighted the good stuff.

This is the part that always makes me facepalm and want to punch something really hard.

"When can I meet them?" I asked.

"Oh! Meet them?" (why the fuck are you shocked that I want to meet them?) "You need to make sure in your heart of hearts Theresa that these are the parents you're going to choose if you want to meet them. Don't break their hearts. These people desperately want children and you don't want them to get their hopes up".

I left with 4 profiles but I knew that I was done with this. I knew I could raise the baby. I knew that I was the best option. I knew that I didn't want Andrea to get one penny from my baby.

I told her a week later that I had decided to keep the baby. She asked me to return the profiles and said, "Yes. I had a feeling you'd keep the baby considering how attached you were to it".

Of course I'm "attached" to it you stupid woman! It's my god-damn child!

I returned the profiles with a fake smile saying I'd keep her updated. I've never heard from her since. My counselor emailed me once to ask why I changed my mind and never responded when I told her the nicer version of the truth.

The experience was horrible for me but, maybe, it won't be so bad for someone else. I talked to an old elementary school friend who had given up her baby for adoption 3 years ago. Her process was infinitely different than mine. Her lawyer gave her profiles the day after meeting her. She gets to see her baby whenever she is in town. Her parents are just as involved in the baby's life as they would have been if the baby had stayed with my friend.

Maybe it was fate the entire process for Rosie to stay with me. Maybe what happened to me is just the standard. Maybe this is something that we'll never know because no one wants to re-live their experience ever again.

That is my adoption story.

My Journey Through Adoption: Part 4

2010-07-16T23:09:00.003-04:00

I guess I should continue my story.

After I came home from my failed abortion appointment, my parents shook their head and said, "Ok, let's get you a government job to raise the baby". ha ha. My parents (and I think all asian parents) believe that working for the government will end all suffering.

When I told my parents NO, I was going to give up the baby for adoption, they didn't believe me but said to do whatever I thought was best for me. So, I started the process. I had previously met with a counselor at Planned Parenthood who gave me the names of the only 2 private adoption lawyers in Ottawa.
Note: My experience at Planned Parenthood was a huge disappointment but maybe that's just me. Probably best to try every resource possible if you find yourself young, single and pregnant.

I called up the lawyer, let's just call her Andrea. Andrea was beyond reassuring. She picked up her cell phone as she was backing up her car into the garage. Needless to say, not the best first impression but she called me right back as soon as she got in the house. I remember the experience to be very prompt. She said what needed to be said, she arranged what needed to be arranged and left me feeling assured surprisingly.

We met. We talked. Things were going well.

I stopped talking to D for my entire 2nd trimester. I was done with his foolishness. Andrea told me that it was best to keep him out of the process. From her experience, the men tended to get in the way and make things harder than they needed to be. What if he didn't like the family I chose? What if he his criteria differed signifcantly from mine? What if he didn't sign the adoption papers to give up the baby?

I was terrified of D. I didn't know how far he would go, I still don't.

I dropped him, cold turkey. He texted once the entire time. I worked with him a few times at the pool but never gave him a second glance. My friends told me he would watch me like a puppy, craving any bit of attention. I laughed and felt empowered.

School came and went. December approached and I still hadn't seen any family profiles. I was starting to panic. The baby was due in 3 months and I had no family. What kind of mother would I be if I just handed off my baby to someone I had known for less than 3 months?

I wanted an open adoption. I wanted to be in my baby's life from beginning till end. I wanted visits, I wanted photos, I wanted her to know me. I knew the only way I could get this was if I had a good relationship with the adoptive parents, but I needed time to build that. Time was definitely running out.

I kept subtly pushing Andrea to get me profiles. I had to be careful because she was the one selecting profiles for me. Here's what scared me the most. There were only 2 adoption lawyers in Ottawa. Each has their own separate list of parent potentials. Those lists contained 30-70 people. If I exhausted Andrea's list, I would have to run to the next lawyer and Andrea would lose her money.

The abortion counselor had warned me. At the end of the day, the only way the lawyers get paid is if they get a baby.

Andrea was having hard times in her private life too. I understood and pitied her, but my baby's life was in her hands and she was not doing enough. As a birth mother, I'm allotted one counselor to help me get through the process. I met her mid-January. By then, all I could think of was, "I'm not going to find parents. How am I going to raise this baby?"

I had started creating back up plans. I had started planning my new life.

Good God that child can cry

2010-07-15T21:57:00.002-04:00

Night 1: ferbrizing went surprisingly well.
Night 2: she cried for an hour and a half straight (even though she hadn't napped all day). I felt bad, and also wanted to go to sleep, so I let her sleep with me. Small steps, I keep telling myself.
Night 3: (which is tonight) She's been crying for 15 mins so far. I've already gotten in an argument with my mom that Rosie doesn't need a "nightlight". It's not going to prevent her from feeling scared, that's just a stupid preconception that people have had built into them. She sleeps in the dark in my room, it should be no different in her room. But, of course, opinions (and especially, parenting opinions) are hard to change no matter what the facts say.

Could I really be falling into time poverty?

2010-07-13T02:12:00.003-04:00

I've been extremely interested in the theory of happiness lately. I would say I'm borderline obsessed but can still retain the pride of saying that I have a life.

The past month, all I've been thinking about optimizing my time. For one week, I observed how I spent my time. I wrote down everything that I did and discovered I wasted an average of 7 hours a week just on Facebook. And I'm not even that avid of a Facebook user. I only use it to read messages between me and my cousins. Maybe see some events. Maybe stalk a few old high school acquaintances. ha ha.

I "wasted" another 7 hours just cruising through the internet from interesting article to interesting article. But, it's almost like there are too many interesting articles and that the value of them have decreased. I come across an exceptional article once a day, I would say, but after collecting a weeks worth of "fascinating" articles, they all start to blur together. How much am I really getting out of these articles? I don't even remember half of them.

Though I hate commuting an hour to work, I've found that THAT is when I best use my time. Bus time is reading time for me. Uninterrupted, baby-proof reading. I've flown through my books (not at the speed that I'm used to) but I can now proudly return a book well within the 3 week library limit. If I don't feel like reading, I have the opportunity to listen to CBC without any distractions. They have the best programs running between 9am-11am. I've already learnt so much.

My evenings, despite being so crammed with just chores, I found that I couldn't push things around to get more free time. Baby feedings, baby baths, feeding myself, bib laundry and packing my lunch took my entire 3 hour precious evening. I've come to accept that this is just the reality of my life at this time and will eventually change when Rosie is 1 year old and no longer goes through 6 bibs a day.

So, despite my hard effort to optimize my time, time poverty is actually a legit existence in my life. It's there and I have to decide what to cut out of my life in order to maintain my steady stream of contentment.

Ferberizing baby

2010-07-13T01:53:00.002-04:00

So it's 1:54 am and I am ferberizing Rosie.

Definition of Ferberization: "baby-training" children to self-soothe by allowing the child to cry for a predetermined amount of time before receiving external comfort.

It's been 25 minutes of crying so far. I've been walking into the room every 5-10 minutes to let her know I'm still here and that's it's okay to fall asleep. Let's see how that goes.

My decision to quit Rosie cold-turkey came out of nowhere. I've been having lots of difficulty sleeping with her the past month. She wakes up every 2-3 times a night now (vs. sleeping 6 hours before when she was in her crib). I gave up putting her in her crib when I started working full time. It was just exhuasting waking 5 metres to her crib twice a night and the anxiety attached to putting her in her crib made it almost not worth it for me. Would she stay asleep? How long before she woke up?

I would sleep at the edge of my bed with my glasses still on and fall asleep with the expectation of shooting awake anytime for another undetermined number of hours. Try doing that and working 8 hours a day with a 2 hour commute. Guh.

My decision spawned because she woke me up at 12:57 am after not falling asleep until 11. I was SURE, absolutely positive, that it was 3 am or so. I would have been happy if it were even 2 am. I guess my patience just snapped when I realized she had only let me sleep less than 2 hours.

I tried rocking her back to sleep to no prevalence. Sometimes I get lazy and feed her every hour just to stop her from crying. Then I'm drowned with feelings of guilt that I'm a wimp of a mother.

Fantastic. My mom just went and picked up Rosie. There goes 3o minutes of my work. I'm trying so hard to control my rage. I feel horrible and guilty but my patience is just running out. It's been so long since I've gotten even 5 hours of unbroken sleep. I just want to sleep again.

Just some picturesque updates

2010-07-05T19:38:00.002-04:00

Life is fantastic. I'm doing good, spreading good and reading "All Marketers are Liars" by Seth Godin. I'm feeling inspired and am only on page 9.

Here are some pictures from the past long weekend and yes, I chopped off all my hair. I love it!

More to come. Rosie and I spent Saturday having a photo shoot with her great uncle. :)

The Time Project: credit card concierge

2010-06-28T09:27:00.003-04:00

I'm on the path to optimize my TIME. I want time to work for me, benefit me and make me happy.

Credit Card concierge services is exactly what I want and need.

Know of any Canadian credit cards that will do THIS?

There are 168 Hours in a Week

2010-06-13T21:42:00.005-04:00

I don't know how I never really knew this, but there are 168 hours in a week. Time poverty, you hear it all the time. Like never before, my life has turned into a race for more time. There's something I have to do every minute and I still can't finish everything. I sometimes find myself sitting on the bus after work and just inhaling time. Time to just sit and do nothing. Time to appreciate little things like the tiny hairs on the neck of the guy standing in front of me.

Time runs by so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was rocking a 6 lbs Rosie in my arms at 3 in the morning.

I think one of the smartest things you can ever do in life, is to just live every moment.
Imagine how much more you could get out of life...

Reference: 168 Hours: The Blank State of Time

One of the smartest designs I've seen in a while...

2010-06-09T22:35:00.000-04:00

The Papervore from Pigeontail Design on Vimeo.

Do this for one day

2010-06-01T22:15:00.005-04:00

I'm absolutely exhausted but just had to write this out. I recently watched this video and have been playing around with the word "why".
Such a powerful word contained in 3 letters.

My friend called me up today to ask for some help about his life. He basically wanted to find more fulfillment (I had just lent him The Last Lecture so I knew that this talk was going to be coming soon). So we talked and debated about how you can find happiness. Does it come from helping yourself? Does it come from helping others? What can steps can you take in life that would make you happy now, in 5 years, in 50 years, the minute before you die?

So my friend started listing out the things that would make him happy and then, I started asking him why.

Why would being rich make you happy?

Because then I could give money to my family.

Why?

Because I want my family to never have to worry about money.

Why would that make your family happy?

Because then they could do things that would make them happy.

Why would they do that?

Because then they could help people.

Why?

Because helping people is good.

Why?

Because it makes the world a better place.

Why?

Because people won't be unhappy.

Why wait to be rich if all you want to do is make people unhappy?

Why?

So, here's my proposition.
In everything that you do today, keeping asking 'why' over and over. Eventually, you'll get to the root and the answer may surprise you.

Day 90: First day on the job

2010-05-31T22:23:00.002-04:00

So I got a job. A real job and I'm beyond excited about it. Today was my first day and it went so much better than my last one.
I don't know why, but this post has consistently sat as the second most popular post ever.

GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THAT MOUTH!

2010-05-29T00:08:00.006-04:00

Here is proof of Rosie's mouth obsession.

The Best Long Weekend

2010-05-27T12:03:00.020-04:00

Friday
Friday,I was carrying Rosie down the street to her grandparents when a random lady standing on her driveway offered me her sling... for free. I was so taken back but such a kind gesture. So here is Rosie sitting in her sling for the first time. I haven't been able to get her into it since.

Saturday

Saturday was super hot! We got all dressed up for a big family party but there was no air conditioning. Rosie was super bored as you can see.

Before & After

Before

After

My cousin bought me a really thoughtful gift. Wall decals! She knows I've been obsessing over properly decorating Rosie's nursery. Finally got something done. We spent all day Saturday working on it.

Sunday

My cousin snuck in at 7:30 am Sunday morning to take this lovely photo of us. It was a long night of fussy Rosie, so needless to say, we were all knocked out by dawn.

Rosie woke up two seconds after she "sensed" her photo being taken. Lil bugger.

This was a card my little cousins made. "Hope you find a boyfriend". They're like 5 and 9.

The girls also chalked up my walkway. Isn't it beautiful??

Day 74: Oral fixation phase

2010-05-18T16:40:00.003-04:00

Look at that face of evil

Despite my best attempts to stay away from using a pacifier, I finally gave in last week.
Doctors recommend that the pacifier not be introduced until after 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion.

To get back at me, Rosie has decided to become confused. She has no idea what to do now during feeding sessions.

Also, she keeps trying to shove her entire fist into her mouth. All you hear me screaming is, "HEY! Get that hand out of your mouth!!!"

Ugh. It's only going to get worse.

My sister use to eat sand. I fear the worst.

Day 73: Vomit in the face

2010-05-14T12:27:00.005-04:00

Taken this morning at 6 am.

I was awoken yesterday by a tidal wave of vomit hitting me in the face and flowing into my mouth. That's it... nothing more to say.

I finished my prezi presentation

2010-05-12T00:20:00.004-04:00

So, I finally finished my prezi presentation. I couldn't end up doing what I had originally designed.
But, the end product is still pretty good.