Dear friends and family and subscribers of Frugal Mama,

About a year ago I wrote to tell you that I had started writing micro-memoirs on a new page called Painting with Words about the dramatic changes to my life due to the coronavirus outbreak. Writing has been a way to process my emotions, hang onto a vanishing life, and try to find some meaning in the chaos.

Communicating on the web helped bridge the emptiness, but I have always loved paper and keepsakes, so I collected what I had written into a book. It’s called My Beautiful Terrible Pandemic Life and is available on Amazon. It would be great to have you as a reader.

Because you have been a subscriber to Frugal Mama, I wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to and that this is the last time you will hear from me via Frugal Mama.

If you would like to still stay in touch (I hope so!), here are some options: 

• Subscribe to Painting with Words, where I post once a week
• follow me on Facebook
• get my new book (and if you like it, reviews are always helpful!), or
• send me an email at amysuardi@gmail.com with the words ‘mailing list’ to receive occasional future updates, or just to say hello!

Thank you for reading, now and over the years, and I hope our paths will cross again. Wishing you health, safety, and peace,

Dear Frugal Mama readers,

It was three and half years ago when I wrote my last post in this blog. I said I would be devoting more time to the community and my family. I did that, and I also began writing the personal essays I had been wanting to write.

I’ve been doing this creative writing about my life since our youngest, Diana, went to pre-K in 2017. I can’t really explain why, but almost none of that writing emerged from the darkness of my notebooks, workshop sessions, or computer files.

Something major shifted not only in the world but in me when the coronavirus crisis hit. I feverishly wrote about how my life — our lives — were changing dramatically and I no longer felt I had the luxury of time. I needed to release this writing into the world, regardless of how it was received.

I started a page called Painting a Life with Words where these micro-memoirs, poems, and essayettes are like dots in a pointillist painting. Each one tiny and separate but together adding up to something bigger.

Please stop by and see if it’s something that speaks to you. It’s quite different from what I was writing at Frugal Mama, and yet I’m still the same person.

Sure, things have changed — our eldest Sofia is set to go to college in the fall, and Diana, the baby, is now 6 years old. The sharp curves and steep hills of life have challenged me to grow.

I post something on the new site most days. You can also sign up for twice-weekly updates by email, and I would be honored to have you as part of that group.

And feel free to share the blog with anyone that you think might feel in tune with it. The writing is personal, but it is meant to be shared.

The strongest impulse I seem to have right now, as the world is crumbling, is to communicate. And grabbing little bits of my life, turning them around in my hands, and offering them out is what I seem called to do.

Thank you for your support over the years. I hope you are doing well and are healthy and safe.

Sincerely,

Painting a Life with Words | micro-memoirs, poems, and essayettes on my beautiful terrible pandemic life 

Ever since I stepped back from the intensity of blogging, I’ve been devoting more time to community: my family, the schools, friends and mothers’ groups, and our neighborhood.  I keep thinking I’m going to get back to blogging, but I find myself pulling away from the computer and venturing into the world.

For someone who concentrates energy on the house and family, looking toward the neighborhood felt like drawing the circle a little wider.  Ideally a neighborhood should feel like an extension of home, with a similar sense of safety and warmth.  Neighbors are who you count on when a storm knocks out your heat, a child needs to be picked up early, or you’re out of eggs.  Neighbors can be the support network that was once provided by large, extended families.

And yet, we don’t always know our neighbors.  We Americans love our privacy and our space.  We put so much energy into our nuclear families and our careers, our online groups and our Facebook friends, that we forget to think of the helpful community that a neighborhood can provide.  To make matters more difficult, we don’t naturally run into all of our neighbors — partly because American towns tend to be arranged in grids, instead of around squares or town centers.

When we moved to Washington, D.C., five years ago, I didn’t expect to find an old-fashioned community.  When our moving truck arrived here on a sweltering June day in 2011, a smiling woman came out from her flower-filled porch bearing toys for our kids.  We were invited to block parties, where neighbors gave us phone lists and maps of residents, alley grill-outs, Christmas potlucks, progressive dinners, and egg hunts in the park.

Science backs up what many instinctually know: deepening relationships and joining communities makes us happier and healthier.  Yet we often think the opposite: that doing better in life will break us free from those ties so that we can have more space, more privacy, more independence.

Living on a tight budget for the first ten years of our family life helped me discover a more cooperative existence.  I realized over and over that working together might be a little bit harder sometimes, but it’s infinitely more satisfying.

However as I spent more time on the simple living concept of Frugal Mama and the opportunities it led to, I had less and less time to participate in communities. As I wrote about, one of the ironies of the blog’s success was that it not only consumed time that I had once spent on saving money, but also on the relationships which I felt were what mattered most.

Three years ago, I dismantled the business side of the blog so I could take care of first things first:  my children and husband, the household, and the organizations where we live that supported us.

Once Diana had grown from a baby to a toddler and I could turn outward again, I began to think about our neighborhood.  It was so great: what could I do to help?  Some of the ideas I had were creating a communication loop, organizing regular social events, highlighting our history by connecting with older residents, and finding ways to welcome new neighbors and help those in need.

Our neighborhood didn’t have set boundaries or a name, so a group of neighbors and I mapped out an area of 113 houses spanning three blocks between a main thoroughfare and a park.  Drawing the line can be tough, but it seemed essential to creating a feeling of safety and fostering a sense of belonging.  A name for our little area was in order, so we flyered the neighborhood, collected suggestions, and took a vote.

Since then we have created a printed directory, a listserv where people exchange hand-me-downs and handyman numbers, and a calendar of regular gatherings.  This summer, for example, we started a series of casual parties called Front Porch Fridays, where we all bring drinks and hang out on neighborhood porches.

The magic of the Web is that it connects us to far-flung people who we’d normally never meet.  We can find people with the same specific interests and connect instantly.

Now I’m fascinated with the magic of physical closeness.  Proximity has a different power: the power to bring people together face-to-face.

Like family, neighbors can’t be chosen.  Every neighborhood has a crazy uncle and those cousins you only see at family reunions.  There are grandparents and babies, teens and twenty-somethings — neighborhoods are not age-segregated.  And if there is a sense of community and shared interest, you belong to each other.  And with that sense of belonging comes a desire to get involved, to be less shy about asking for help, and a kind of responsibility to watch out for each other.

I remember how easy it was to make friends in college.  If you lived on campus, you spent all your time with your dormmates, sharing everything from rooms to meals to classes and entire weekends of free time.

But now we have jobs and families and we live in separate houses with yards and cars.  Many of us are separated from our families of origin — or any relative at all — by thousands of miles.  Even friends who live in the same city can find it exasperatingly difficult to get together.

That’s why there is something precious about the people who live next to us and behind us.  Without the barriers of distance and travel time, neighborhoods are natural places to find friends, playdates, mentors, babysitters, helpers. The inter-generational nature of neighborhoods means that many of those connections will be people in different stages of life.  And there can be great comfort in knowing someone who has been through the same struggles you have.

While taking a break from the blog this past year, I found myself able to say yes to getting involved in other groups: helping middle-school parents produce the big spring musical, organizing a retreat for my mothers’ group, and working on bringing more harmony and cooperation to our family unit.

All the while, I kept thinking I would get back to writing here.  Finally I had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn’t keep up Frugal Mama and take on all the other projects I was excited about.  Most of us will experience different callings in life, and even though it’s bittersweet, sometimes you have to walk away from one in order to walk toward another.

Frugal Mama has been a source of creativity and connection for me for almost seven years, so realizing that it is winding down has been hard.  Even though the website and past content will stay live, I won’t be writing regular blog posts anymore, and I’ll miss that.

It’s been so wonderful to have you in my life, and I hope this is not a good-bye, but a ‘see you later.’  I know I will return to writing, and I hope that you will come visit me wherever that new place will be.

Until then, I will imagine you out there fighting the good fight, looking for the silver lining in saving money, and keeping life simple so you have time for what really matters.  I’m with you.

Photos: first and last by Sofia Suardi, others by author

With this post, I wrap up my series on how to start your own babysitting co-op.  Co-ops are a wonderful way to get to know dependable people in your community, expand your child’s social circles, and capture more time for yourself without spending money.

In part one, I went over how different co-ops are organized and the pros and cons of various point-tracking systems.

In part two, I talked about how to fan the flames to help create a warm, active, and successful group.

In this last part, I have collected some of the forms, by-laws, and marketing materials used by the different co-ops I have been a part of.  (Names and locations of co-ops have been changed.)  You may download these documents and, in most cases, customize them as you like.

Neighborhood-Based Co-op

The neighborhood-based co-op I went over in earlier articles defined its group by geographical boundaries.  Founded in the 1970s, its by-laws, structure, and procedures may seem formal today, but it is also one of the longest-running and most successful co-ops in this line-up.  This co-op has rotating leaders, secretaries who handle sit requests, and a point system based on cards.

• Babysitting Co-op Rules | customizable document (click to download)
• Membership Application | scanned image (click to download)
• Card Count Tracking Sheet | customizable document (click to download)
• Card Count Tracking Sheet | printable PDF (click to download)  Print front to back on cardstock.

Parent Association Co-op

The parent association co-op was formed within a not-for-profit organization of parents.  The group is open to families at a set of affiliated institutions in New York City, and it organizes social events, maintains play spaces, and coordinates discounted after-school activities.  The group’s babysitting co-op is semi-formal with rotating leaders and a simplified set of by-laws and procedures.  They use a website to request sits and keep track of points.

• Interest Sign-up: for gauging interest in a new co-op & collecting contact information (click to download)
• Roster:  A kind-of address book for member families to refer to (click to download)
• Simple Guidelines: rules for using the co-op as well as leadership and online point tracking system (click to download)
• Trifold Brochure (customizable document): for publicizing the co-op (click to download)
• Trifold Brochure (printable PDF): for publicizing the co-op (click to download)

Preschool Co-op

The preschool-based co-op is one of the more informal co-ops.  Members arrange their own sits with each other via a private listserv.  Tickets are exchanged between members with no oversight.  A volunteer coordinator admits new members, distributes initial tickets, and assigns playdate hosts.

• Co-op Info Sheet: a flyer that explains the what, who, why, and how of this co-op (click to download)
• Child Information Sheet: a form to collect contact and health information for member children (click to download)
• Sign-Up Sheet:  an agreement to join with an explanation of the rules (click to download)

Circle of Friends Co-op

Made up of four families who live on the same road in a small town, this group is a leaderless co-op with minimal rules.  Families update their own point counts using a shared online spreadsheet and take turns hosting potluck dinners.

• Online Spreadsheet.  To use it for your group, click File, then Download As.

I hope these resources can be helpful to you as you create your own babysitting co-op.  (See also Part 1 in this series for basics and Part 2 for tips on launching and longevity.)

One of the most important things I have learned about communities is that face-to-face interactions are essential.  Babysitting co-ops will not work unless there are high levels of trust.

Email and websites might be convenient, but they cannot replace being in each other’s presence.  So use technology sparingly, and whenever possible, give your members reasons to see and know each other.

With families often spread out all over the country, many parents need to create their own support systems.  Like passing along hand-me-downs or bringing dinner to a family with a newborn, a babysitting co-op is a valuable network that can fill essential needs while saving everyone a pretty penny.

Photo credit:  Sofia Suardi

Sometimes called sleep-in quiche, never-fail souffle’, or 24-hour omelet, the strata is a breakfast casserole that requires overnight rest, making it a perfect dish to serve on Christmas morning, New Year’s Day, or any brunch party.

The word strata means layers because most recipes call for the layering of bread, cheese, and either meat or vegetables, with a beaten-egg mixture poured over.

One thing I love about stratas is the contrast in textures: the top gets crunchy and browned, while the inside remains soft and creamy.  Because the bread needs time to absorb the custard, you have no choice but to make it ahead, a blessing on busy mornings.

When the strata is baking and the house is filling with delightful smells, I am often far away from the kitchen, busy with other things and feeling like I’ve pulled off some small magic.

Bacon and Cheese Strata

Family friend and cook, Shirley, gave us this recipe when we were looking for a make-ahead dish that was salty and satisfying for a very special brunch.  I made and froze six double batches of this strata and we served it at our farm the Sunday morning after Enrico and I got married.  It was delicious, and still is.

Serves 4 to 6

• 2 cups (3 slices) of bread cubes
• 1/2 lb. sharp cheddar cheese, cubed
• 1/2 lb. bacon, cooked and crumbled
• 1/4 cup butter, melted
• 1/2 lb. mushrooms, sliced
• 3 large eggs
• 2 cups milk
• 1 teaspoon dijon mustard
• 1/4 teaspoon salt

Place half the bread cubes in a well-buttered 1 1/2 quart casserole dish.  Top with half the cheese, half the bacon, and half the melted butter.  Repeat layers and arrange mushrooms on top.  Beat eggs, milk, mustard, and salt, and pour over the layered mixture.  Cover and refrigerate overnight.

The next day, bake uncovered at 300 degrees for 1 1/2 hours until top is golden brown.

Spinach and Cheese Strata

(adapted from Gourmet magazine, February 2003)

My mom and I have been making this recipe for about ten years now.  Even though it still qualifies as comfort food, it has a healthier, lighter feel, and the gourmet cheese gives it a sophisticated touch.  Fresh chopped spinach can be substituted for frozen.

Serves 6 to 8

• 1 (10 ounce) package of chopped frozen spinach
• 1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion (1 large onion)
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 8 cups cubed French or Italian bread in 1-inch cubes (about 1/2 lb)
• 6 ounces coarsely grated Gruyere (or Swiss or Jarlsberg) (about 2 cups)
• 2 ounces finely grated parmesan (about 1 cup)
• 2 1/4 cups milk
• 9 large eggs
• 2 tablespoons dijon mustard

Sauté onion in butter in a large skillet over medium heat until soft, about 5 minutes. Add 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon pepper, and nutmeg and continue cooking for one minute. Stir in spinach, and heat until spinach is thawed.  Remove from heat and set aside.

Spread one third of the bread cubes in a well-buttered 3-quart oven-safe dish. Top with one-third of spinach mixture and one-third of each cheese. Repeat layering twice with remaining bread, spinach, and cheese.

Whisk eggs, milk, mustard, and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper together in a large bowl and pour evenly over strata. Cover with plastic wrap and chill strata for eat least 8 hours or up to a day.

The next day, let it stand at room temperature for 30 minutes while preheating the oven to 350°F. Bake strata, uncovered, in middle of oven until puffed, golden brown, and cooked through, 45 to 55 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

And then enjoy your special day.

Homemade cards are a gift in themselves, especially when a child has added a unique element of whimsy.  When our daughter Virginia turned seven, we made these winter reindeer cards as invitations.

Here’s how you can transform any child’s drawing, even a doodle or sketch, into a keepsake for the holidays or any special occasion.

This sketch of a reindeer by Virginia became the inspiration for her birthday party invitation.

We used regular 8.5″ x 11″ colored printer paper we already had, making it more hefty by folding it vertically and then horizontally.  When closed, the finished card is the size of 1/4 sheet.

To keep the image simple for this small card, I chose the dominant lines of Virginia’s drawing, outlining them with a black marker.  The thick dark line made it easier to trace.

Using a glass window as a lightbox, I transferred the drawing by placing the card on top of the original drawing and tracing the image.

Once the image was transferred to my card paper, I went over the pencil lines with paint and brush.

Then I went over the drawing with a thin line of glue so we could glitter it up.

We used Martha Stewart’s glitter in Brownstone.

You can collect and re-use any unused glitter by shaking loose dust onto a clean sheet of paper.

Then we created snow by adding more glue and chunky white glitter.

Virginia wrote up the party details, which we photocopied and pasted into the interior of each invitation.

A-2 envelopes (4.37″ x 5.75″) are perfect for 1/4 folded sheets.

Even though we made each invitation in the same way, saving time and energy, every one was unique.  And of course, it’s a child’s eye and carefree style that make kids’ art one-of-a-kind.

Before you roast the seeds you carve out of your Halloween pumpkins, plant a few.

Even though the standard advice says to plant seeds in late spring to avoid frost damage, anecdotal evidence suggests that pumpkin seeds can survive winter and still come up in spring.

We have found this to be true, and since we don’t have much to lose — our jack-o-lantern seeds are free and easy to plant — why not?

Our first experience growing pumpkins was in fact born of a Halloween planting. Sofia and Virginia were little then, and we were carving pumpkins with a little boy in our babysitting co-op in Arlington, Virginia.

When he wanted to plant one of the seeds, I was sure it wouldn’t amount to anything: it was deep fall and soon winter would be here.  But for the heck of it, we planted a few seeds under some shrubs in our side yard.

Those pumpkin seeds waited all winter and through the cool spring.  By summer I had forgotten all about the seeds and didn’t recognize the large vine creeping around the side of our house.

It was so eager it made its way to the front and began heading toward our steps, and that’s when I realized it was a pumpkin plant. We even began to joke, half seriously, that one day we’d find it trying to open the door and climb into our beds.

By the middle of the summer, we were eating the flowers as fast as the plant could produce them. They were so good, dipped in batter, and fried: crispy on the outside and soft and buttery on the inside.

Last fall here in Washington, D.C., we planted a few seeds from our Halloween pumpkins.  It didn’t take much effort to tuck them into our front garden bed.

That winter, polar vortex blasts brought temps as low as six degrees in our area (mid-Atlantic, zone 7a). After spring rewarded us with bursts of colorful tulips, daffodils, and hyacinths, we thought all the surprises were over.  Then a couple of seedlings popped up through the mulch. With teardrop-shaped seeds still stuck to the first leaves, we knew right away they were our pumpkins.

It turned out to be the biggest crop ever.  Usually pumpkin plants are more about the edible flowers for us, with one or two orange balls making it through the hurdles, but by fall we had 14 pumpkins.

When the squirrels began gnawing on a few, we decided to bring them inside until Halloween.  We’re down three (one rotted, one was given away, and one didn’t survive a bouncing experiment), but I’m sure we’ll make it to October 31 with the necessary five.

Tips for Planting Pumpkins

Whether you’d like to test fate and toss some pumpkin seeds into the dark of winter, or save your seeds and plant them in spring, here are some tips that will tilt your luck:

• Plant the seeds about 2 inches deep into rich soil (not dry, hard earth). “If your soil has been used in the past to grow flowers, a vegetable garden, or even a lush patch of weeds,” say pumpkin growers at Jack Creek Farms, “then it will be suitable to use for planting pumpkins.”
• Pumpkins need full sun and un-soggy conditions, so plant them away from the shade of trees and buildings and avoid areas that puddle.
• You don’t need a lot of garden space for pumpkins. The vines can spread out over the grass, sidewalk, or even be trained to climb up a fence or arbor, as we did with one of our plants this year (pictured below).
• Know what a pumpkin seedling looks like so you don’t weed them out in spring.

We have found pumpkins to be one of the easiest and funnest foods to grow at home.  Their vines seem to stretch out before your eyes, growing as much as six inches per day, and producing vines 10 to 20 feet long.  The star-shaped yellow flowers are delicious to eat — fried, stuffed, or folded into risottos and pastas.  Sautée the tender vine tips in butter for a delicacy that rarely makes it to restaurant menus.

Virginia (11 yrs.) made pumpkin soup this fall

And then there is the fruit. Who doesn’t love to watch green globes grow bigger and rosier as the summer wears on?  Plant cooking pumpkins to get the most flesh for making pies, breads, soups and sides, or carving pumpkins to get the best shell for holding a candle on Halloween night.

When trying to cut down and save money, some people worry that they’ll come off as looking tight-fisted.

It doesn’t have to be that way.  Being frugal is in many ways being generous.  I explain more in my responses to a recent interview for personal finance expert Jean Chatzky at Savvy Money:

What is the difference between being frugal and being cheap?

Cheap is a quick fix, frugal is a thoughtful process.

Can you be frugal and still buy expensive items?

Yes, if the purchases are planned and fit into your philosophy of life. For example, you might choose to pay more where you spend more time in your life, such as on office chairs, mattresses, or strollers.

Where is the line thin between frugality and being cheap, and how can you stay on the frugal side?

Good furniture is very expensive, but buying cheap often means flimsy, trendy, and short-lived. One way to save money while getting quality and style is finding vintage, antique, and salvaged furniture and house parts. Buying second-hand is also being frugal with the earth’s resources.

How can you bargain-hunt without seeming cheap?

Getting the most bang for your buck is not cheap, it’s smart. And you could earn bragging rights for finding all the designer brands and new-with-tags clothing that are available at thrift stores. There are also consignment shops (a bit more expensive) or clothing swap parties (free but require planning).

Skipping out on the check at a group dinner is cheap, but is it cheap if you simply buy low-quality products for your own personal use?

You show what you care about when you pull out your wallet. The cheapest food is probably not good for your health, the cheapest webstore will not keep your colorful neighborhood store open, and the cheapest appliances will probably end up in the trash soon.

Frugal is being careful about what you spend, and there is great peace of mind when you can align your dollars with your values.

Is it better to buy used products or older ones that are still in the box?  For example, a used iPhone 6 vs. a brand new iPhone 5s.

With technology changing so fast, it’s usually best to go with the newest model you can find at a good price. Of course, always do your research with ratings and review sites like cNet, ConsumerSearch, and Edmunds, because newer models can have problems or features that you don’t need.

What is your general advice for staying frugal without being cheap?

Try to turn the focus away from spending and onto relationships and passions. Get to know your neighbors, meet people in your school or work community, join groups. Instead of buying and reselling stuff: share, borrow, and exchange. Create an atmosphere where people don’t have to feel miserly and self-seeking to save money, but generous and friendly.

I really do think that giving is one of the keys to spending less and living well.  When you give your time, your shoulder, or a home-cooked dinner, you are helping create a place where people share, help, and take care of each other.

p.s. For more thoughts on how you can be proud of being frugal, there’s also Why Frugal is Not the Same as Cheap by guest writer Karen Falter.

Luke and Sofia picking kale at our family farm in Ohio

When we first discovered kale chips, it was 2009 and we were living in New York City. We picked up a bunch of kale with our weekly farm share of potatoes, sage, eggplants, and beets. (As part of a Community-Supported Agriculture (or CSA) program, we paid for our share of the farm’s harvest at the beginning of the growing season, and picked up our weekly portion near our apartment in Manhattan.)

Kale is a “super food,” packed with fiber, calcium, vitamins A, C, E, and other nutrients. But the only way I knew how to cook this tough, bitter leaf was to boil it then squeeze out the water and sauté it with bacon, like my mom used to do. This recipe was good, but a little labor-intensive, so I was glad when our CSA coordinator passed out a recipe for kale chips.

One of our first batches of kale chips when this post was first published in 2009

This was at the beginning of the kale popularity wave. Sofia and Virginia were seven and five years old, and they loved the kale chips so much that previously unheard sentences began coming out of their mouths like, “Mama, can you please buy some more kale?”

Ever since I originally published the kale chips recipe here, it’s been a favorite in our family. My mom grows it on our family farm in Ohio, and when we made a huge batch yesterday for lunch with our Mennonite friends, I decided to update this post with new photos.

Over the years I’ve had my share of kale chip flops (soggy or burnt leaves), so I’ve also added tips on cooking kale chips to crunchy perfection.

Baked Kale Chips

We season our kale chips with salt and a touch of black pepper, but you might want to flavor them with spices such as cumin and cayenne pepper or fresh herbs like rosemary and thyme.

We have found that curly kale comes out crispier than Tuscan kale, although this recipe works with almost all assertive greens.

Makes about 6 servings

• 1 bunch of kale (about 8-10 stalks)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• ½ tablespoon vinegar (apple cider or other)
• generous pinch of salt

1.  Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

2.  Debone the kale by removing the main stalk.

Do this with two long knife strokes, or by grabbing the base of the stalk and stripping off the leaves with your hands. (The stem, which is tough and full of liquid, tends to make chips tough and wet.)

3.  Chop or tear the leaves into 2-inch pieces.

4.  Wash the leaves in a large bowl or salad spinner.  Spin dry or pat dry with towels. (Thoroughly drying the leaves will make them crisp, instead of steam, in the oven. Drying will also help the oil and vinegar cling to the leaves.)

5.  In a large bowl combine the kale with the oil, vinegar, and salt and use your hands to massage the seasoning into the leaves.

6.  Spread the kale out onto two rimmed baking sheets (mine are about 11 x 17″). Aim for a single layer and minimize overlapping.

7.  Place on the center rack in a preheated oven. After about 10 minutes, check the kale. If the chips on the borders are brown and the ones in the center are green, you’ll need to flip and rearrange the leaves for even baking. Return to the oven and remove when chips are crunchy and slightly browned, about 5 minutes more, depending on your oven.

8.  Serve immediately, avoiding contact with moist or wet foods.  Kale chips can un-crisp very easily if not kept dry.

We garnished our platter of kale chips with edible nasturtium flowers.

Kale chips are a delicious, healthy potato chip alternative. If only you could buy them by the bagful at the corner store!

Back in the spring, it was a big deal to have grilled cheese sandwiches on the porch. Now our garden looks like a jungle and the cicadas swell a slow rhythm to the quiet hot afternoons.

Here are some pictures looking back on our spring and into the summer.

We love our new porch swing and our old strawberry sorbet-smoothies.

Sugar snap peas were a good crop this year for healthy snacking.  The key was to plant the seeds as soon as the ground could be worked in late winter.

We planted alpine strawberries along a rock border, because they can take some shade and they don’t spread all over like garden strawberries.

Sofia did sidewalk drawings with Luke and Diana, while Mark watered. We also planted a baby fig tree this year.

We visited National Harbor for the first time on Memorial Day.

Diana liked to squeeze behind the roses and pick her some sour cherries. We had enough this year for Virginia to be able to make a pie!

Enrico got breakfast in bed for Father’s Day.

We grew purple carrots.  Tiny ones because Luke scoffed at evenly spaced rows and cast the seeds by fistful.

And sunflowers were surprise guests, apparently planted by birds among the apples, peaches, and daisies.

That’s all for now.  We’re in Italy now, and I’m wishing you a summer that is nice and hot, and restful yet adventurous.

Just two and a half more days of school, and summer will officially start at our house.

One of the first things we’ll be doing, after the hip-hoorays and ice cream celebrations, is picking the best memories of this school year from the stacks we have collected (and the armfuls coming home).

We’ll make ourselves get them organized and tucked away in binders before we are allowed to start packing for our big trip.

After four years, we are all going back to Italy this summer. My husband’s strategy for saving money on tickets was to snatch up the lowest fares as soon as the seats went on the market: in our case 330 days (or 11 months) before the departure date.

Finally the time is almost here, and we are so excited to play with cousins in Liguria (seen above), show the kids Venice for the first time, and visit our old neighborhood and friends in Milan.

I’ll be leaving my computer at home, so I won’t be posting from Italy.  Family vacations are great times for family bonding and listening to our inner compass, and I find that happens best without the distractions of wifi.

I’ll have something ready to be sent out in July, but for now, I’ve updated some posts about traveling with kids:

11 Tips for Surviving Air Travel with Kids

How to Prepare Your House (and Life) for Vacation

The Family Road Trip Packing List

For a Glowing Vacation, Pull the Plug

I hope your summer is full of both downtime and adventure, whether you stay close to home or venture out.

To encourage brain power, creativity, and problem-solving, give a child an open-ended toy, one that requires the child’s imagination to come to life.

Mounting evidence suggests that make-believe play is good for our kids — intellectually, emotionally, physically. The New York Times even reported that the self-regulation skills that dramatic play develops “have been shown to predict academic achievement more reliably than I.Q. tests.”

But in this age of busy schedules, branded character toys, hand-held computers, and seemingly unsafe streets, free play is hard to come by. We often joke about how kids are more interested in the box the toy came in than the toy itself, yet it takes courage to choose toys that don’t talk, zoom, light up, or touch down.

“Play is useful for children, and engaging and exciting for children, when they drive the play, when they’re in charge of what’s going to happen in the play,” says says Susan Linn, Harvard psychologist and author of The Case for Make Believe: Saving Play in a Commercialized World.

An imaginative toy is like a healthy meal as opposed to a junk-food snack. Doing things the hard way — like making food from scratch or creating your own rocket ship — takes more time, but the effort almost always pays off in emotional and physical rewards.

“A toy that nurtures creative play is ninety percent child and only ten percent toy,” says Linn. Here are some ideas, taken from my own life and from free-play advocates.

Colorful Scarves

When I was writing Make-Believe: Free Yet Worth a Million, I asked readers what toys encourage creativity, and scarves were a favorite answer. A square piece of fabric? It’s amost annoyingly simple, yet it’s surprisingly transformative.

A simple scarf found at a second-hand store — and the bigger the better — can be used in a thousand ways to fuel pretend play. From a dress to a turban, a tent to a curtain, a scarf is extremely versatile. Plus, when tucked away for the night, it won’t take up precious space in your house.

Doctor Kit

Kids of all ages know what it means to “play doctor,” and there’s a reason for that. There’s something so satisfying about both being the doctor who knows everything and is in control, and the patient who gets prodded and paid close attention to.

The last time my kids played doctor, they wrote up prescriptions and created a little hospital out of blankets draped over chairs. (The invalid’s fortunes improved drastically when he got to be entertained and fed while lying on the sick couch.)

Gardening Tools

The world of nature is, well, a natural setting for imaginative play. Kids want to copy whatever grown-ups are doing, but if there is only one trowel, gardening can become the opposite of therapeutic.

Give them their own set of kid-sized tools and the chance to get creative with plant life and you never know what will happen. Perhaps they’ll help you weed. Perhaps they’ll end up fashioning a habitat for fairies or gnomes. Either way, you win.

Model Cars

If you happen to have wee wheel-lovers, you know that they treat their vehicles like dolls. My sons create scenarios for their cars as if they were people.

They also tilt their heads so they can check out how the wheels turn over all sorts of terrain, and they test how far they can go — on rugs, on wood, on mulch, and through the air.

As much as I love the look of stylized and wooden cars, my kids always go for the most realistic ones. Hot Wheels matchbox-type cars are easy to tuck in a bag for entertainment on the run.

Microscope

Parents who own microscopes say these tools have the power to keep their kids busy for hours and hours, all the while fostering a love of science and nature.

There’s no end to the number of things that kids can examine — from translucent liquids like pond water and Coke to solid materials like pennies, leaves, and yarn.

Building Blocks

How many times in life are we required to take basic building blocks and create something fantastic?

Kids can make garages for their cars, stalls for their plastic animals, or castles for their royals. You can get more elaborate with blocks tailored for various buildings, but sometimes simple works just as well, if not better.

Musical Instruments

Listening to music should be part of every child’s growing-up experience, but allowing them to experiment with the physical act of making sounds is important too. For toddlers and early-elementary-age kids, try a box of toy instruments like tambourines, triangles, and xylophones.

The next step for a child who seems interested in music could be a more life-like instrument like a recorder, a basic keyboard, or a microphone for singing.

Play Dough

Like Legos, play clay will probably never go out of style as creativity catalyst. Even though Legos now come in kits with detailed instructions and Play-Doh is packaged with molds and accessories, the kid-friendly clay is still just putty in their hands.

Play dough is one of the few messy things that I’m willing to fuss with. I ask my kids to make me spaghetti and meatballs, caterpillars and snails, bracelets and wheels.

Dress-Up Clothes

Just like a glittery dress can make mom feel like a million bucks, a fanciful outfit can transport a kid out of the everyday world and into something extraordinary.

Encourage children to come up with storylines from scratch by passing over the Disney princesses and Pixar characters for generically fun outfits and accessories (most of which can probably be found in your closet or at a rummage sale.)

Play Kitchen

Anything that encourages role-playing is considered good for the brain. Studies say that the act of staying in character strengthens kids’ discipline and impulse-control, and promotes the social skills they’ll need as adults.

Play kitchens can be stocked with fabric vegetables and cooking tools. I’ve also found some pretty adorable felt cupcakes and cookies on Esty that are so well-made and attractive that they will be hard to give away when my kids grow out of them.

Colored Pencils

With a piece of paper and a box of colors, you can create anything. Once a child gets beyond crayons, he should never be without a set of colored pencils.

Colored pencils are spread on our table almost every day, and my daughters are big into creating their own paper dolls, door signs, and birthday invites. Much more versatile than markers, some pencils can even be blended with a wet paintbrush.

Outdoor Swing

Almost any form of outdoor play will encourage imagination and creativity. However, with all the glowing, lighted things in the climate-controlled indoors, it’s hard for both kids and adults to pull themselves away and out the door.

With enticing props like an easy-to-install swing — or a hammock, or a kite, or a sandbox — kids have a reason to run outside.

Doll Stroller

Girls and boys alike seem to love to push around someone or something in a vehicle just their size.

Whether the toy simply encourages physical activity or whether it fuels role play, this stroller by well-respected Nova Natural looks sturdy enough to pass down from child to child, and attractive enough for grown-ups to want to.

Animal Figurines

Collections of little plastic animals can be scooped up and taken out to the backyard, as my neighbor’s kids used to do, where they would create entire landscapes for herds of zebras, elephants, and lions.

These mini-savannahs involved watering cans and mud, but animals can just as easily make noises, talk to each other, and ride in the back of mini pick-up trucks indoors on the bathroom rug.

Cash Register

A toy cash register bridges the tech and traditional worlds. Most are equipped with buttons and beeps, but they really get interesting when kids act out the customers and salespeople.

Children can make their own money, and even write checks if they’re out of cash. They can decide upon merchandise using real objects around the house, and experiment with pricing by using removable labels.

There are lots of ideas here that involve spending money, but the truth is you probably have everything you need right now to get those creative juices flowing. In fact, encouraging imaginative play requires a kind of bravery, because it’s really more about subtracting than adding.

]]> http://www.frugal-mama.com/2015/05/how-to-get-kids-away-from-screens-and-into-creativity-nature-and-independence/feed/ 13 7217 http://www.frugal-mama.com/2015/04/why-we-need-strong-nurturing-communities/ http://www.frugal-mama.com/2015/04/why-we-need-strong-nurturing-communities/#comments Wed, 15 Apr 2015 17:02:38 +0000 http://www.frugal-mama.com/?p=13221

Like many Americans, I have tended to place a lot of importance on self-sufficiency and freedom. But this drive to do everything on my own has prevented me from realizing how good it is to be closely connected to people, to rely on others and be relied upon.

I remember when I was a 20-something and thought temping was the best work because I felt free from ties to a company, a boss, or even a geographical location. Yet when I finally took a permanent position, I was surprised to find that I actually loved settling down. Even though it was just a job, it felt good to be part of a company, to have a boss to take care of, and to know co-workers that knew me too.

Marriage is a form of community too. Getting married is probably the best thing I’ve ever done, and I don’t think it’s just me. Mountains of research show that married people are happier than the unattached. Humans are wired to bond, and committing to someone for life is the ultimate tie.

Our first four years of marriage were spent in Italy, and some of my fondest memories are connected with the groups I belonged to. From expat associations and mom-and-tot playgroups, to a writing circle and even the maternity ward in the Italian hospital where new moms walked down the hall to eat meals together — communities fed my soul and made me a stronger, more confident person.

Once in the U.S., we moved from city to city where we had no family and few, if any, friends. What’s more we chose to live on a very limited budget so that Enrico could retrain and I could take care of the kids full-time.

It was this money constraint that helped me break out of my shell. I’ve always been a little shy, and my generation (X) is not known for being civically engaged. But the babysitting exchanges and cooperative playgroups that people in our neighborhood had been enjoying since the 1970s piqued my interest, and eventually I joined.

Getting involved in these organized groups helped bring me out of an isolated mom-at-home life, and into communities of people where I found the comfort of regular social interaction and a sense of pride in my neighborhood.

By joining communities, I was braided into networks of families who ended up sharing carpools, baby gear, and dinners together. We traded tips and maternity clothes, we pooled money and party supplies, we made walking school buses and neighborhood newsletters.

But if we had been comfortable financially, I wonder if I would have asked favors, for fear I would have to return them, never realizing that I would be happy to do so.

Joining Groups Helps People Prosper

At the heart of a book I’ve been reading, Robert Putnam’s acclaimed Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, is that joining organized groups and being involved on a regular basis has been scientifically proven to be good for our health, psychological well-being, and even our success in life.

Putnam also talks about how our networks of relationships have real value. The term ‘social capital‘ is a way of conceptualizing the intangible resources of trust, shared values, reciprocity, information, and cooperation that flow within communities.

Networks can be vast and loose as well as tight and small, and both are important. That’s because the people we are closest to would be there for us if anything bad happened, but if we are looking for a job or a place to stay overnight, it’s often the far-off connections that can help, since they link us to distant acquaintances who move in different circles.

The Up- and Down-Sides of Relationships

Of course, getting involved with groups of people is bound to involve some personality differences, misunderstandings, and mini-dramas.  These conflicts are sometimes enough to make you run for a hermitage in the hills.

But, as they say, nothing worth having comes easy. It can take work to navigate different temperaments, outlooks, and motivations and to find common ground. But interpersonal skills are arguably the most vital, so it seems worth the challenge to continually work toward bettering them.

Privacy, alone time, and freedom are good too, but as with most things in life, a balance is usually the best prescription. Too much togetherness can feel stifling, whereas too much aloneness can be depressing, so something in-between is just right.

Social support helps us deal with the stresses of daily life, and it shows in our health. “The more integrated we are with our community, the less likely we are to experience colds, heart attacks, strokes, cancer, depression, and premature death of all sorts,” says Putnam in Bowling Alone.

Studies have long documented the connection between society and emotional well-being: “People who have close friends and confidants, friendly neighbors, and supportive co-workers are less likely to experience sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, and problems with eating and sleeping,” says Putnam.

The scientific link between connectedness and well-being must explain that paradox I’ve always wondered about: how the positive energy we give to people seems to fill us up with more energy.

“Alone We Can Do So Little; Together We Can Do So Much” –Hellen Keller

The social positive feedback loop was also playing out in a miniature version inside our house. After having our third child, I needed help with the housework. We couldn’t afford to hire anyone, so I asked my daughters — then six and four  years old — to help me.

Sofia, Virginia, and I took turns dusting, vacuuming, and cleaning bathrooms on the weekends (using a chore wheel), and during the week, they alternated setting the table, playing with the baby while I cooked, and sweeping the kitchen after dinner.

Of course it took time and effort to train my little helpers (and to keep up the routine despite the grouching), but the payoffs were profound and multi-faceted. For one, I was happier because I felt supported, and with the extra time we did more fun things as a family.

Even better was how the act of helping changed the children. They were more settled and grounded. I think giving them responsibilities that were essential to our household made them feel useful and necessary. We all feel a sense of accomplishment when we learn a new skill.  And seeing that their work makes a difference must give them a sense of purpose.

Over the years we have kept up the family chore system.  The tasks are always shifting based on what the family needs, but daily and weekly chores are built into our routine. Sofia and Virginia are now taking turns getting their brothers ready for bed, and dressing their baby sister in the morning.  Mark and Luke unload the groceries, set the table, watch Diana, pick up sticks in the yard, vacuum the kitchen, and sort socks.

“Everyone is needed, capable, and appreciated,” I heard a mother say about her children and work. I like this mantra, because it reminds me that even young children can and want to help, and that in today’s busy times, their contribution really is valued.

Save Money, Build Community, Make Life Better

Ever since I started this blog, I’ve been fascinated by the kind of magic that happens when people work together. How the positive effects ripple way beyond just saving money.

I am thankful for how the lean years helped draw me into cooperative communities and motivated me to ask for help. Creating those communities and systems can take time and energy, but in the end, we are happier and more efficient.

“Our national myths often exaggerate the role of the individual heroes and understate the importance of collective effort,” says Robert Putnam. Yet chances are the most successful people are rich in social capital — friendly connections, helpful neighbors, friends and associates, colleagues and contacts.

Children prosper if the context where they grow up — their family, school, peer group, and larger community — have relationships of trust and cooperation. Neighborhoods with high levels of social capital are safer, cleaner, and friendlier. And the democracy that our country was built upon depends on our participation, trust, and solidarity.

Be The Change You Want to See

We all need community, but our needs can change according to the seasons and situations of our life.  Strengthening the sense of community in your circles can begin with very small actions and can grow into bigger ones if you want.

Here are some ideas to try:

5 Small Ways to Nurture Community

1. Find out the names of people you see every day and say hello
2. Go to a high school or college reunion, or organize an annual mini-reunion with college friends
3. Instead of selling something on Craigslist, give it away to someone you know
4. Join a group: a book club, an improvement committee, a sports team, a PTA, a church
5. Ask a neighbor, instead of Google, for advice on your garden, your house, your job

5 Medium Ways to Build Community

1. Bring dinner to a family who had just had a baby, a death in the family, or a sickness
2. Host a coffee to introduce a new neighbor
3. Plant a conversation-starting garden in your front yard
4. Buy season’s tickets to a theater or stadium with a friend so you’ll have a standing date
5. Start a babysitting swap on a regular schedule with other parents

5 Bigger Ways to Jumpstart Community

1. Organize an outdoor movie, an egg hunt, or ice cream social in your neighborhood
2. Take on a leadership role in a community organization, school group, or city council
3. Organize a clothing swap party, a toy exchange, or Halloween costume swap at your school or church
4. Create a map of everyone who lives in your neighborhood (include emails, phone numbers, children)
5. Take turns with neighbors hosting monthly “Porch Sits” where people come to chat and catch up

Joining and creating communities is one of my favorite ways to save money and make life better. I love that reaching out to others not only helps me, but it helps other people too.  And I love that you don’t have to do anything major like head a committee or organize an event.

Simply interacting and being kind is good, says Mark K. Smith, author of The Art of Helping Others, because it helps people slowly build communities, commit to each other, and to knit the social fabric.

Everyone loves to eat. Maybe that’s why growing food is such a fun way to get outside, teach children about nature, and eat healthy.

My kids and I have been experimenting with growing fruit and vegetables in our front yard for the past three years. We’ve had a few disappointments yet enough successes to keep us in the game.

When spring arrives, I can count on my daughter Virginia to ask, “When can we go to the gardening store?”  I too am getting excited to see bright green shoots and pink buds to draw us outdoors together.

If you don’t have a lot of space, time, or money for your garden, choosing what to grow is an important step, a central theme at a free urban agriculture forum I recently attended called Rooting DC. Experts there agreed that your starting point should be: what do you love to eat? No use nurturing along something that ends up dying on the vine.

But alas love alone does not make corn tall and strawberries sweet.  So here are some guidelines to help you further focus on choices that will maximize your gardening budget.

1.  If you’re new to gardening, plant foods that are easy-to-grow:

Luke harvesting spinach in his dumptruck

Vegetables that aren’t finicky are great choices if you are a beginner, so you can see success without any experience.  MJ Crom, Food Growing Capacity Coordinator at the Capital Area Food Bank, suggests these:

Easy-to-Grow Vegetables

Start from seed outside (except for tomatoes, peppers, and basil, which are best started with a small plant)

• Carrots
• Green beans
• Lettuce and spinach
• Cucumbers
• Kale
• Summer squash
• Radishes
• Cherry tomatoes
• Bell peppers
• Basil

Our first year gardening at our D.C. house, we planted kale and tomatoes, basil and edible borage flowers, arugula, and pumpkins, and it was exciting to see all of those plants come up and most of them flourish.  (We replaced our dense clay earth with topsoil, watered when it didn’t rain, and chose a sunny front yard location, instead of the shady back yard.)

Our tomatoes almost did too well that first year

We also planted eight blueberry bushes, a sour cherry tree, a peach, and two apple trees. All of these fruit producers are considered “high-maintenance” because they require lots of pruning and watering, are tempting to birds and squirrels, and are more susceptible to diseases such as fire blight.

But there are plenty of fruit trees that do well in the mid-Atlantic region with little to no care, according to Josh Singer, Community Garden Specialist at the D.C. Department of Parks and Recreation.  Try these:

Low-Maintenance Fruit Trees

• Pawpaws: their fruit is like a cross between a banana and a mango
• Persimmons: get a non-astringent variety like the Fuyu cultivar
• Figs: to keep the tree small and the fruit reachable, you can cut it down to the ground every year
• Juneberries:  also called Serviceberry; look and taste like less-sweet blueberries
• Red mulberries:  few pests and diseases, can grow in partial sunlight
• Beach plums: bite-sized, large-seed fruit
• Asian pears: cross between an apple and a pear

2. To save money, grow fruits and vegetables that cost more at the store:

Virginia picking Tuscan kale and tomatoes

When making your garden choices, you might pass over vegetables that are inexpensive, like cabbage and carrots, in favor of more pricey ones, such as tomatoes, peppers, and gourmet salad greens.

Our city front yard is so small that, more than noticing a lower food bill, I feel the luxury of using exotic ingredients in my cooking that would have been prohibitively expensive, like fresh herbs and edible flowers.

Another cost-saving tactic is to grow foods on the pesticide-heavy Dirty Dozen list, so you can eat organic without paying the price:

• Celery
• Cherry tomatoes
• Cucumbers
• Peppers
• Potatoes
• Snap peas
• Spinach, kale & collard greens
• Strawberries

We grew sugar snap peas last year for the first time, supported by a tomato cage, and they were delicious. Because they are best raw, it was a great way for the kids and me to experience the instant gratification of an edible front yard.

3. If you don’t have much space, grow foods that are hard to buy:

The only way you can get edible flowers like Nasturtium is to grow them

Some edible delicacies, like squash flowers or kiwi berries, are so fragile that they are not sold, even at farmer’s markets. Growing foods that you can’t easily buy is a great way to use your limited garden space, says friend and D.C. Master Gardener Lisa Burke.

The “rare foods” principle was how we made our choices this year. Rainbow chard and Tuscan kale now come home by the armloads from our farm share, so I realized that it didn’t make sense to grow them in our small garden anymore.

These are the hard-to-find or pricey vegetables that we chose to grow this year:

• Purple sweet potatoes
• Cosmic purple carrots
• Sugar snap peas
• Kohlrabi
• Fennel (or anise)
• Borage (blue edible flowers)
• Pumpkin flowers
• Nasturtium (red, yellow, orange, and pink edible flowers)
• Chamomile (daisy-type flowers for making calming tea)
• Ice cream melon (so-named because they make the perfect bowl for a scoop of ice cream; also known as “Green Machine” for the large number of melons it makes!)

Purple potatoes have gotten a lot of press recently for their unusual health benefits, and when my friend Lisa said that her kids love to eat purple mashed potatoes, I couldn’t resist. We made our other choices by browsing the organic and heirloom seeds in the Southern Exposure Seed Exchange catalog.

Also new this for us this year is a fruiting vine, Hardy Kiwi, that I ordered from Edible Landscaping and planted last fall. Hardy Kiwi produces green berries, a bit larger than grapes that taste like kiwi without the brown, fuzzy skin. Hardy Kiwi is known to be able to survive harsh winters, and we have a child of the plant that has been growing for 100 years at Georgetown’s Dumbarton Oaks garden. Fingers crossed that ours takes off too.

Sunlight and Climate

A peach ripening in our front yard mini-orchard

Visiting public gardens and talking to other gardeners is a great way to find out if the food that you want to grow will do well in your area. Especially before investing in trees and shrubs, make sure they will survive by learning your plant hardiness climate zone.

Ultimately, sunlight will dictate your decisions about what to grow and where, says Megan Rynne of Love & Carrots. We can change the composition of our soil and keep it watered, but we can’t always control the amount of sun that reaches our plot of land. Especially in urban settings, buildings and trees can make it tough to get the six to eight hours of direct sunlight that most fruits and vegetables need to thrive.

Take a day to quantify your light by checking every few hours if the sun is directly shining on your spot or if it’s shaded by trees and structures. You may be able to capture more sunlight on a patio or deck, in which case you could garden in pots. Otherwise favor vegetables that do well in partial sun, such as kale, beets, potatoes, and carrots.

My friend Lisa is planting a guinea pig garden with her sons this year. They have two new guinea pigs and are figuring out their favorite foods. So far on the garden list are: lettuce, parsley, arugula, and red peppers. Those are some lucky pets!

What are you thinking of growing this year?

Our house has been alive for 99 years. We love its wood windows, alligatored paint, and creaking floorboards. However, a house doesn’t always age gracefully. Things are always breaking down, and updates made over the years can detract from its original character.

When I first saw our house, I loved its aura. A farmhouse built in 1916, it still had the romantic overgrown look of a place in the country even though a city had grown up around it. Inside were a lot of quirky updates, which reflected the eccentric personalities of its former owners.

As I looked over the house with the inspector, I was already thinking that it would be fun to make repairs using parts salvaged from old houses. Older buildings were usually made with high-quality materials, such as old-growth wood and heavy metals like bronze and copper. Plus the textures and finishes have soul that only comes with age.

I like modern architecture too, and I have a mixture of contemporary and traditional furnishings in our house. But you have to spend a lot more on new materials to get the same caliber you find in old pieces. So to save money without sacrificing quality, I spent time looking for cast-off architectural pieces that fit our house’s period and style.

There are lots of sources for salvaged building materials. Architectural antique shops can be quite pricey, catering to historic preservationists with deep pockets, so look out for individual brokers or building re-use centers (which are kind-of like thrift stores for the house).

If you find a non-profit building donation center in your area, you’ll probably have to paw through stacks of heavy, dusty wood in a cold, dim warehouse. But the effort is worth the treasures that you can find at bargain basement prices.

Here are some of the salvaged materials that we used to repair, restore, and renovate our house, and you can too:

Doors

Perhaps the most-readily available and satisfying piece to re-use in your house are old doors. Their heavy, solid wood feels so substantial, and the nicks and aging paint add warmth and historical character.

The wood found in old houses is so strong because it was milled from trees that were probably 200 to 300 years old. Old-growth wood has very tight growth rings, which “lends the wood strength and hardness — even in so-called softwoods such as pine and fir,” said an expert in a recent article in the Washington Post on how old lumber is gaining popularity in the D.C. remodeling boom.

Our house has five-panel doors throughout the interior, and I was able to find them in almost every size I needed at salvage yards and second-hand building materials warehouses for $20 to $40 each.

We used three reclaimed doors on the second floor, where doors had either been removed or didn’t exist, and four old doors in our basement renovation.

My contractor would have preferred to use new pre-hung doors already in the jamb, but they are more expensive than antique doors and didn’t feel as sturdy.

Doorknobs

One of the most important pieces of hardware in your home is the doorknob. If you think about it, turning a doorknob is one of the few chances you get to actually touch your house. So you should choose something that you find beautiful, but it should also feel good in the hand.

When we were finishing our basement, I wanted it to feel like the rest of the house. So mixed in with the new drywall and carpeting, we installed reclaimed five-panel doors like we have in the rest of the house. I found knobs similar to our beaded oval knobs at Vintage House Parts & Radiators in North Brentwood, Maryland for $25 per set.

I love the feel of the weathered metal of these knobs. We have very nice reproduction beaded oval knobs from Rejuvenation in our foyer, but they are stiff to turn and lack the warm touch of the antique ones.

Pulls, Locks, and Other Door Hardware

Minor hardware like locks, hinges, strike plates, and slotted screws might seem insignificant, but even these tiny details are easy and inexpensive ways of adding charm and history to your house.

Pocket Door Hardware

For our remodeled bedroom area, we put salvaged five-panel doors on a sliding door track, and retrofitted them with pocket-door pulls and mortise locks.

Pocket door hardware is harder to come by than regular doorknobs since most houses only had one pocket door. (That would probably explain why it was so difficult to find a reclaimed front door to replace our 60s era one — most houses just had one front door, so there are fewer available.)

I eventually found two matching copper pocket door pulls on eBay. One had a key hole in it, and I was able to find a skeleton key that worked the lock at The Brass Knob, an architectural antique specialty shop in Washington, D.C.

Cast Iron Radiators

Another salvaged house part that makes a big bang are cast iron radiators. We love the even, mellow heat produced by our hot-water heating, so we extended the system when we finished the basement.

At Vintage House Parts & Radiators in Maryland, owner Saul Navidad collects old radiators from houses that are being demolished or renovated and re-sells them, mainly to European dealers. I was happy to snag a rare decorative one for Diana’s bedroom that matched our existing radiators, but chose less expensive vintage models for the basement.

Probably produced in the 1940s, these sleeker radiators saved space and added character yet cost way less than new.

Interior Window Shutters

The beautiful, full-size windows in our bathroom are thanks to the fact that it used to be a bedroom. The challenge was making the room private while still letting in light and views.

Plantation shutters were the answer: the amount of control over light, privacy, and airflow is hard to find in any other window treatment. However, wood is more expensive than fabric, so shutters would be more costly than curtains unless I could find them second-hand.

For one window, we were able to re-use shutters removed from our own first floor, but we didn’t have a fit for the second window. On eBay, vintage louvered shutters were selling for $50 and up, so it was a small victory to find them for $2.50 per panel (plus 40% off that day!) at Community Forklift, my go-to salvage yard right outside northeast D.C.

The problem was finding the right size: eventually I made a few return trips and had to alter the shutters to fit. Still the reclaimed shutters cost a lot less than custom shutters, and I prevented a few nice things from going to the dump.

Stained Glass Windows

A stairwell window in our house had been replaced with textured glass, perhaps due to the proximity to our neighbors (a cozy 10 feet away). I thought it would be fun to retrofit a salvaged stained glass window. The trick would be to find the right size.

Second Chance, a deconstruction and resale warehouse in Baltimore, was reputed to have tons of antique stained glass. But inventory had changed hands, and my parents and I (who were visiting from Ohio) had to do some driving around to find a better supply at Weber’s Antiques in downtown Baltimore.

I loved the rose design window (pictured above), but the green ribbon stained glass had the right dimensions, so we took it home.

We were able to install the stained glass window in the existing window frame, and I love the dash of old-fashioned color that it gave the space.

Stone Countertops

I hadn’t planned on re-doing the kids sinktop in stone, but when an attempt to use a more modest material fell through, I knew it was my chance to get my hands on one of those slabs that I had seen in what my daughters called the “junk yard.”

Dozens of marble and granite remnants salvaged from bathroom and kitchen demolitions were stacked outside Community Forklift, covered with dust and nearly impossible to move. After circling around several times and taking measurements, I finally settled on a piece of white marble for $100.

The salvage yard recommended an affordable stone-cutter, but when the new countertop was finished, it was not white marble at all, but a beautiful metamorphic rock called quartzite. Thankfully, I loved it, and the greenish color even coordinated with the floor tiles. Phew!

Moulding and Trim

We were able to salvage and re-use our own house’s moulding for a few projects, but if you are looking for antique trim to match your house’s existing trim, building re-use centers carry that too.

In some cases, our carpenter was able to closely replicate the style of our house’s moulding, and it looks very clean and fresh, but I do love the nicked and dented, chipped and painted-over look of 100-year-old trim.

Ironwork

Here is another project where we shopped at home for salvaged materials that can also be found in housing thrift stores.

On some first floor windows of our house the previous owners had installed wrought iron window bars, which we later removed. We re-used one window guard as a frame for a mirror in our (tiny but very appreciated) first-floor bathroom.

If you’re looking for ironwork for a railing, gate, or other home project, you can find tons of it at salvage centers. Most welders should be able to alter it to your specifications. Ask for recommendations of ironworkers at the salvage yard.

Bricks

We inherited a beautiful brick circle in our front yard that was apparently modeled after a garden in France. I came to realize that a big part of its charm came from the antique bricks that were used to construct it. They’re mottled and chipped, variegated and rosy. They’re also bigger than today’s bricks, so in a glance you can tell that they’re different.

When we created a vegetable garden (pictured below) in our front side yard, we tried to find old bricks to make little walking paths. Even though they cost more than new, at $1 per brick we didn’t break the bank.

Windows and Wavy Glass

We love our old wooden windows. When we moved in, most of them were caulked and painted shut, but we later made strategic ones operable.

The bottom panel of a double-hung window in our bedroom (pictured above) was so badly rotted that we had to replace it. I drove out that day to Community Forklift, praying the whole way that they’d have a wooden window with the same dimensions. The universe — or should I say, the community — responded with a perfectly-sized window. I was also able to pick up the mechanisms — counter weights and pulleys — and we were back in business.

If you need to replace panes in any of your old windows, it is possible to find antique glass complete with waves and bubbles. These old-world effects are apparently impossible to reproduce today, because the glass manufacturing process has changed.

We wanted to remove plexiglass in our foyer windows, so I called an old-window handyman, who I found by searching the neighborhood listservs. He harvests antique glass from cast-off windows and was able to cut and install a few pieces in our windows.

(If your utility bills are high but you would like to keep your old wood windows, consider interior storm windows. To preserve the charm of drafty windows in our attic, we are getting inserts from Indow Windows, a company recommended by a neighbor who works at the National Trust for Historic Preservation.)

Hooks

Every house needs hooks. It’s amazing how much heavier antique hooks feel, and what a nice patina the metal has acquired.

To achieve an even more authentic look, use old slotted screws too.

Shelf Brackets

To support a vintage shelving unit that we repainted for our new craft/sewing room, I found some beautiful cast iron shelf brackets at an architectural antiques shop.

They added an unexpected touch to a room full of shiny newish things.

Scrap Lumber for Woodworking Projects

This laundry shelf was made by my dad from old wood found in a barn. He has also made us two tables from old weathered wood that has all sorts of interesting defects like worm holes.

Reclaimed wood is really hot right now, but it also fits our casual, kid-friendly lifestyle. I don’t have to worry about the tables getting scratched or dinged, since wear-and-tear just adds to their patina.

Fireplace Mantels

This mantel is now in our living room. Typically a house from the early 1900s would have had a fireplace, but ours did not. We wanted a focal point for our living room (that wasn’t a flat-screen TV), and a fireplace seemed like the answer.

Mantels are apparently not hard for a carpenter to make from scratch, but a salvaged one is the way to go if you want the fireplace to look like it’s been there forever.

There are very elaborate mantels out there, but they’re usually much more expensive. I also had to face the fact that they wouldn’t really go with the simple style of our house.

The mantel that we chose (shown here painted and installed in our living room) was the right size, design, and price ($120), and nobody would imagine that it was installed last year.

Wooden Floorboards

When we needed to change the layout of our second floor to create three bedrooms out of two, we had to take up the old pine flooring. The idea was to simply lay the floorboards back down after the work was done, but they were not taken up properly and had to be scrapped.

It was sad to have wasted perfectly good 100-year-old flooring (next time I’ll have an expert remove it), but after asking around, I found a reclaimed wood dealer. I was able to buy similar flooring removed from another house of the same era for $6 per square foot, and was happy to give it a new home.

The most sought-after antique flooring is called heart pine, or old longleaf pine. I don’t know if that’s what we have, but according to deconstructing expert Max Pollock in the Washington Post, “It has a rich color, nice smell, and the grain is much, much tighter than other softwood species.” If you’re thinking of redoing your old pine floors, you might be able to sell it to a salvage shop. “That’s the holy grail,” Pollocks says. “It’s what we’re always looking for.”

Tips for Finding and Using Architectural Salvage

Building re-use center Second Chance in Baltimore, MD

• Study the era and style of your house. Resist the temptation to go more old or fancy than your house really is. Mixing styles and time periods will lead to a hodge-podge look that you probably won’t be happy with.
• To begin finding sources in your area, try Old House Journal’s Directory of Architectural Salvage Stores. There are sure to be many more, so when you make contact with a broker or organization, ask if they know someone who deals in the materials you are looking for.
• Dress warmly and bring old gloves. Even in the summer, salvage warehouses can be really cold because of the dark, cavernous spaces. Everything is dirty, so either wear gloves or bring a pack of wet wipes.
• Measure, measure, measure. Keep a measuring tape and notebook of your room’s dimensions with you. If you happen upon the perfect find, you’ll know whether it’s worth taking home.

My daughter Sofia at our recent trip to Luckett’s in Virginia

We are still finding reasons to hit the “junk yards.” Hunting for treasures for your house can be so fun that you might miss it when your project is done.

As any parent of schoolchildren knows, we often burst out of the gate in September, shined up and ready to put the pedal to the metal. But by the time winter comes, we’re feeling a little road-weary, and systems have either worn down or need to be engineered.

As for us, it was clear that our four-year-old needed more focus in the morning rush. But we didn’t recognize the extent of other problems — until we found the solutions.

Here are three adjustments that we made over the winter break that are making our weekday life easier.

1.  Make a Clear Get-Ready-for-School Chart

Print black-and-white images and let kids color in themselves.

Up to now our pre-kindergartener, Luke, didn’t so much as have a getting-ready routine as a crazy race.  We had always used some kind of list or chart for our other kids, but I thought Luke needed something more hands-on.

I found an interactive chart, with tabs that kids flip up when they’re done, and decided to make it over the winter break.  (See the tutorial on the Snickerdoodle blog.) It required more time and materials than our simple printable ones, but it’s definitely more fun.

Luke colored in the images.  Here are similar chore chart graphics.

Mark (6 years) wanted to make a chart too.

Since we’ve been using the magnetic checklists, both boys have been racing around to complete each task, so they could flip up the tab that says, “DONE.”

Such enthusiasm won’t likely last, but we’ll be able to keep pace with our usual teaching timer and marble jar. The most important part, I’ve found, is letting kids know what is expected of them and giving them a way to keep track by themselves.

2.  Keep an Edited Sampling of Schoolwork and Artwork

Second up was dedicating some time to our system for saving momentos from the kids’ childhoods.

What we do is collect the best artwork, important memories, and a sampling of schoolwork in tiered baskets in a kitchen cabinet.  The rest gets sent to grandparents with a monthly letter, or recycled.

Then at the end of the school year or calendar year, we put the papers in chronological order, do a final edit, and then hole-punch and insert everything into three-ring binders.

The key here is doing the binding once a year.  I’ve seen how these piles can begin to landslide if you ignore them for more than a year. Sofia and Virginia have been helping me with their memories since they were in third and fourth grade, which is a huge help.

But I never seemed to find the time to tackle Mark’s pile, which got more daunting the longer I waited, until this winter break.

In a couple of sessions we got through two-thirds of his pile.  He loved to look over these artifacts of his life, marveling at how he used to draw giraffes or how he used to spell autumn (“odum”). Class photos and 8×10 school portraits are in there too, and those are always fun to look back on.

The older girls treasure having these binders (now about three to four per child) as a record of their lives, so the effort pays off.

3.  Find Quieter Nooks and Times for Doing Homework

I love the happy hubbub of all the kids together after school:  Virginia playing Skater’s Waltz on the piano, Sofia doing homework at the dining table, Mark racing around with Lego tow trucks, Luke singing in weird voices in the bathroom, and Diana pulling all of the jars out of the cabinet.

But with the girls in middle school now, homework requires more concentration, which is challenging in our loud household. I too found it almost impossible to help Mark with his 10 minutes of daily reading in the 4pm to 6pm hours, when I also need to cook dinner and keep Diana entertained.

So we decided that Mark would be allowed to stay up later than his little brother and sister, to read with a parent when the house is quiet. What a dramatic improvement!  Instead of dreading his reading practice, he now looks forward to it.  And he was even excited to tell me when he got back to school in January that he’s now graduated to the next reading level.

As for our middle school girls, they had been asking for desks ever since we finished the attic and moved their bedrooms up there.  This fall we talked about it again, and decided it was time. For Christmas, they got homemade gift certificates for desks, and in early January we shopped around and eventually found (at Ikea) just the right desks and chairs.

Both Sofia and Virginia are using their desks a lot — from writing thank-you cards to drawing to doing homework — and they say that it’s all easier without being distracted by their little brothers yelling ‘Guten-hog!’ or Diana drawing on the furniture.

Sure, I miss seeing them, but because this arrangement allows them to get their homework done faster, they have more time to pursue activities that give them pleasure and to hang out with us when they’re relaxed.  And that’s makes it all worth it.