F This Movie!

Weekend Open Thread

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Sat, 11 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Review: THRASH

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Rob DiCristino

It’s Crawl, but with sharks.

Longtime readers will recall my passion for Redboxing. You remember Redboxes, don’t you? Those red kiosks stationed along the outer walls of your finer convenience stores? No, not the Amazon lockers. The things next to the Amazon lockers. They had those touchscreens with the little sunshades over them? Yes! Now you remember! Redboxes were great, right? I mean, how else were you supposed to get a copy of In the Heights on DVD? You remember DVDs? Of course you do! Anyway, my Redboxing journey was all about scouring those late lamented magenta monoliths for the best in low-budget splendor, titles that fell so far under the radar that not even streaming carousels had room for them. The goal wasn’t mockery, of course. Far from it. In an age of algorithm-driven Content, Redbox movies were all about earnestness: They weren’t the best. They were often quite bad! But at the very least, they were idiosyncratic enough to feel crafted by human hands. Quivering, clumsy hands, perhaps, but human hands nonetheless.

Why am I bringing up Redboxes in a review of a Netflix movie? Because I miss them! Kidding. No, it’s because Tommy Wirkola’s Thrash — previously titled Beneath the Storm and Shiver — is perhaps the most Redboxy movie that never got a chance to sit in an actual Redbox. Produced with the spare change in Adam McKay’s pocket and headlined by a largely anonymous cast — the great Djimon Hounsou excepted — Thrash is the most endearing kind of JV exploitation cinema: It’s not cynical, cloying, or opportunistic. It’s not brand-forward engagement bait. It’s not second-screen background-core. It’s just a cheaply-made, deeply stupid B-movie. How refreshing is that? It’s not even original content. It’s a discard from Sony’s theatrical slate that was probably pawned off to Netflix to mitigate tax obligations. By today’s standards, that’s true artistic integrity. Someone ring the folks at TCM and tell them that cinema lives on! In short, Thrash is too trashy for theaters but too well-meaning to spend eternity trapped on Netflix. It’s a Redbox movie.

I digress. Here we go. Thrash begins as a category five hurricane makes landfall in the seaside hamlet of Annieville, North Carolina. Teenage foster siblings Dee, Ron, and Will (Alyla Browne, Stacy Clausen, and Dante Ubaldi) urge their foster father (Matt Nable) to move the family to higher ground, but his cartoonish skepticism of science has convinced him that “it’s just a bit of weather.” Meanwhile, a fallen tree has trapped the pregnant Lisa (Phoebe Dynevor) — whose fiancee recently abandoned her to become a DJ — in her car. Lucky for her, she’s stuck just outside the home of a savvy young woman named Dakota (Whitney Peak). Unlucky for her, Dakota is an agoraphobic who’s still recovering after the untimely death of her mother. With both of her parents gone, Dakota’s uncle Dale (Hounsou) has done his best to fill in the gaps. He’s a local marine biologist specializing in sharks, and — wouldn’t you know it — it seems Hurricane Henry has brought some of his more flesh-hungry research subjects ashore. Well, a-what-used-to-be-the-shore.

Thrash is a movie about stupid people doing nonsensical things. MAGA dad — I forgot his name, and I’m not scrolling back through my screener link to find it — sits with his back to a gigantic glass window as shark-infested waters rise on the other side (guess what happens to the window?). Dakota exercises a thoroughly baffling disregard for knife safety as she cuts Lisa out of her car seat (remember, kids: Always cut with your knife aimed at the pregnant woman’s belly). Speaking of Lisa, do you want to see the fastest water birth in the history of cinema? It’s just one of Thrash’s many charms! And Thrash is charming. I mean, scroll up for a second and look at that poster. I’ll wait here. Read the tagline and the title, in that order. “If the flood doesn’t kill you…THRASH!” That’s terrible advice! There are sharks in the water! But I’m not mad at Thrash. Thrash doesn’t know any better. It’s an honest movie for honest folk. No one at Netflix forced Thrash to add extra expository dialogue for the people looking at their phones. No one at Netflix has even seen Thrash.

So while Thrash may be a deeply unremarkable genre exercise that owes whatever virtues it can claim to far better movies — Having Dakota Peak point and shout, “Sha…shark!” like the beach girl from Jaws was a nice touch, there, Mr. Wirkola — it’s a far less painful watch than Red Notice, Happy Gilmore 2, and whatever other poorly-lit content Netflix is rolling out this year. Wirkola (Violent Night, Dead Snow) may not be a vulgar auteur like Abel Ferrara or even a schlock virtuoso like Paul W. S. Anderson, but he’s at least craftsman enough to optimize his strengths (giving Djimon Hounsou an extended speech about a hippopotamus, for example) and downplay his weaknesses (anything and everything related to the film’s z-grade CGI sharks). It’s faint praise, to be sure, and I wouldn’t recommend that anyone actually watch Thrash with, you know, their eyeballs, but I’m much quicker to stand up for something this guileless than something that feels calculated and inhuman. There’s absolutely no calculation to Thrash. Somehow, that’s a compliment.

Thrash hits U.S. Netflix on Friday, April 10th.

Highs & Lows: Bob Clark

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Thu, 9 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Patrick Bromley

A man who directed multiple classics and a bunch more movies.

American (not Canadian, despite often being remembered as such) director Bob Clark had a fascinating and uneven career. He started out making inexpensive horror films and had a lasting impact on the genre. He then switched to comedies, where he found great financial success and made such a name for himself that he's much more famous for being a comedy director than a horror one. Though he had his string of failures in the second half of his career, Clark was a jovial and gregarious filmmaker whose work was idiosyncratic in the best way. Here are some of the high and low points of his eclectic career.

High: Black Christmas (1974)

After making his mark with a few horror movies, Bob Clark really put himself on the map with this, the OG slasher movie and one of the best holiday horror movies of all time. It's a really well-made movie from a director whose output through most of the '80s and '90s served to undermine the great work he was doing in the '70s for much of the critical community. I know this isn't exactly the first of its kind and that there are movies predating this one that technically paved the way for slashers; perhaps Clark's greatest achievement in Black Christmas is synthesizing those elements that came before into something that most closely resembles the slasher as we would come to know it. I don't think that's it, though. I truly think Bob Clark was on to something, and the popularity of the genre he had such a large hand in shaping over the next 15 years bears that out. Even if he had never made another film, Black Christmas is so good that we would all still know the name Bob Clark.

Low: Loose Cannons (1990)

I know I shouldn't like this movie because it is objectively bad and even the stars disowned it, but a buddy cop comedy starring Gene Hackman, Dan Aykroyd, and Nancy Travis as a Mossad agent is hard for me to resist. Hackman and Aykroyd, who suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder -- a bit that's played for broad laughs and never once approaches being funny -- are teamed up to track down a Hitler sex tape or something. Clark is never a subtle filmmaker and this is not a subtle or sly movie. It's cable staple trash in which Hackman seems openly annoyed and Aykroyd mugs without a ballast. I have to acknowledge that this is a "low" in Clark's filmography despite the fact that I can watch it pretty much any time. Many of his lows are like that for me.

High: A Christmas Story (1983)

Not content to have only one Christmas classic to his name, Clark turned to author Jean Shepherd's book In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash for this warm and deeply nostalgic look a boy (Peter Billingsley) growing up around Christmastime in 1940s America. Perfectly cast and beautifully realized, the movie is so good at mixing what Billy Wilder called the Sour with the Sweet, always tempering its haze of fond memories with something dark or funny or bitterly weird, like the department store Santa pushing terrified kids down the slide. If directing is, as the Coen Brothers (and Adam Riske) are fond of saying, "tone management," Bob Clark directs this one perfectly. A modest hit upon release, A Christmas Story became the classic it's known today for being thanks to VHS and cable networks, one of which eventually began running the movie for 24 hours straight as a holiday tradition.

Low: Porky's (1982)

I know it's considered a classic of the Sex Comedy genre -- hell, it more or less helped invent it outright -- but Porky's sucks. The story of some obnoxious and horny teenagers trying to get laid in 1954 Florida, the movie was an absolutely staggering success -- one of the highest-grossing movies of 1982 -- despite being repetitive, juvenile, and consistently unfunny. As someone who likes a lot of juvenile movies (many of them sex comedies attempting to replicate the success of Porky's), I only really have a problem with the last descriptor. The characters are mostly interchangeable assholes save for Pee-Wee (Dan Monahan), the biggest asshole of the bunch, and most of the film's humor comes at the expense of its female characters. Only Kim Cattrall makes it out unscathed despite Clark's attempts to humiliate her with an embarrassing sex scene; she's radiant enough to overcome the bad writing. It's wild to me that Clark could make something as funny and sweet and reverentially nostalgic as A Christmas Story when he had already failed to make Porky's any of those things just a year earlier. Bob Clark gets above the title billing in the opening credits like he's John Carpenter or some shit.

High: Deathdream (1974)

It's strange to think that a filmmaker so associated with comedy in the 1980s got his start making really dark and fucked up horror movies in the 1970s, but Clark made at least two classics of the genre (three if you count Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, which I'm not sure I do) before hitting it really big with Porky's in the next decade. Deathdream -- aka Dead of Night -- is a brilliant post-Vietnam horror written by regular Clark collaborator Alan Ormsby about a thought-dead soldier who returns home from the war as something not quite human. Not only is the movie incredibly creepy and disturbing, but also a heartbreaking meditation on grief and a bolt of righteous anger over how so many young men came back from Vietnam irrevocably changed. It's a horror movie that's still a little slept on outside of the most devoted circles, which is too bad because it should be a total classic.

Low: Rhinestone (1984)

Like Loose Cannons, there is virtually no defending my affection for Rhinestone, in which country singer Dolly Parton makes a weird rape bet with Tim Thomerson that she can turn anyone into a country star, including New York cabbie Sylvester Stallone. What started out as a project from writer/director Phil Alden Robinson got a complete overhaul once Stallone came aboard, first as director and then as star given the opportunity to rewrite the entire thing and make it shittier because that's his special way. When he ran roughshod over the movie and original director Don Zimmerman quit, Bob Clark was brought in to get the movie under control and bring it in on time and on budget. He does his very best, but the movie still has a real Stallone problem. It doesn't work as a comedy, as a romance, or as a musical. I still like it.

High: Turk 182! (1985)

This probably doesn't belong in the "high" column for most audiences, especially considering Siskel & Ebert named it among their worst movies of 1985. I have tremendous affection for Turk 182!, in which Timothy Hutton plays the bratty younger brother of a New York firefighter (Robert Urich) who is denied health coverage after an accident, so Hutton takes it upon himself to begin publicly shaming the city and its politicians in order to make a change. My goodwill towards the movie might have something to do with seeing it in the last few years when its messaging feels more relevant than it did even in the '80s, but I also just love how Bob Clark comedies look -- he shoots in anamorphic widescreen at a time when not a lot of comedies were doing that, collaborating with regular DP Reginald Morris to bring NYC to life in a really cool way. I wish this movie was easier to come by these days. The DVD is OOP and there's no Blu-ray. It helps to be friends with Brian Saur.

Low: Baby Geniuses (1999)

One of the worst movies of its or any year, Baby Geniuses is proof of Quentin Tarantino's theory that eventually a lot of great filmmakers lose whatever made them special and are relegated to helming embarrassment after embarrassment (I know Billy Wilder is the director QT always cites, but Buddy Buddy has not nothing on Baby Geniuses.) I would recap the plot but I haven't seen this since its theatrical release in 1999 and I refuse to watch it again for the purposes of this article. This is guaranteed to be the lowest "Low" I ever have to cover in this series, and the only thing more depressing than the fact that Bob Clark directed it is the fact that he returned to direct the sequel, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, in 2004. It wound up being his last film.

FTM 815: LOW KEY 6-7

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Wed, 8 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Patrick is joined by his 13-year old daughter Rosie.

Download this episode here.

Listen to F This Movie! on Apple Podcasts.

Johnny Showtime: jmfilmresins

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Tue, 7 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by JB

Here’s a unique gift idea for the film fanatic in your life.

I was introduced to JM Film Resins when the Kodak Clubhouse in Hollywood hosted a kind of "film lovers’ farmers market" last fall. JM (who is NOT a farmer in the traditional sense, TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE) set up a table and was showing off his wares. What he does is so freaking cool: he takes 35mm and 70mm trailers and film prints, selects iconic and representative frames, and seals them in clear resin. This allows one to own an artifact of a beloved work of cinema in a new, tangible way.

My son Jake (the "K" stands for "Kodak") texted me pictures of a resin cast he thought I might particularly like: It held 18 separate frames from the 1938 Real-Art reissue trailer for a double feature of the original Universal Dracula and Frankenstein. I was surprised; I had never seen that particular trailer before. The selection of frames was exquisite. I proceeded to pester my son constantly and successfully—he was moved to gift the item to me for my birthday, probably to shut me up. Score!

It is sitting on my desk right now, looking over my shoulder as I write this. It has become one of my favorite things. I hold it up to the light and look at the individual film frames almost every day. They always bring a smile. I own a piece of the movie and can interact with it during spare moments of ennui.

This is not a paid endorsement; I simply wanted to share a bit of this movie joy with any readers who may be interested. JM Film Resins has an Etsy shop where he offers a bewildering variety of these unique collectables. Most of the “slabs” measure 6” X 6” and feature between four and 24 frames, depending on the original trailer’s film gauge. He has a special Lord of the Rings version, featuring all three films in the trilogy, that measures 18” X 6.” It’s a “triple wide.” The Interstellar version features only four frames, but they are huge IMAX 70mm frames. Here is an incomplete list of his current offerings.

2001: A Space Odyssey

Across the Universe

Annie (1982)

Alice in Wonderland

Alien

Aliens

American Psycho

Back to the Future

Back to the Future 2

Beetlejuice

Big Fish

The Big Lebowski

Boogie Nights

Casablanca

Casino

Cinema Paradiso

City of God

Coraline

The Count of Monte Cristo

The Dark Knight

The Devil Wears Prada

ET: The Extraterrestrial

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Fast and the Furious

Fight Club

From Russia with Love

Godfather

Godfather, Part II

Goldeneye

Grease

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Home Alone

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

The Hunger Games

Inception

Interstellar (70mm)

Iron Man

Jaws

Lady and the Tramp

Live and Let Die

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Lords of Dogtown

Magnolia

Mary Poppins

Memento

Midnight in Paris

Moonstruck

Mrs. Doubtfire

Mulholland Drive

The Mummy (1999)

Nacho Libre

Ponyo

Princess Bride

Raging Bull

Rush Hour

Silence of the Lambs

Star Trek VI

Star Wars, Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Thelma and Louise

There Will Be Blood

The Thing (1992)

Thunderball

Titanic

Tombstone

Top Gun

Twister

White Christmas

Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day

The Wizard of Oz

Yellow Submarine

Young Frankenstein

You’ve Got Mail...

and that’s just the first two pages of his Etsy site.

This is one of the most fun film tchotchkes I have ever seen, and I have seen (and purchased) a LOT of film tchotchkes. Few have provided such a tangible connection to film as a physical medium.

Could one argue that these resin casts are a little pricey? Maybe. Out here in Movieland, they're about the price of a "decent" dinner out for me and my wife. (They're two or three times the cost of a "normal" dinner out, when we sit across from each other at Firehouse Subs and splurge on TWO whole fountain drinks because they have a Coke Freestyle. We split one order of french fries.) My wife is also nice enough to look at “the slab” in the sunlight, but she refuses to sit patiently on my desk until I feel like looking at her.

That said, I feel... should you purchase one... it will fill your heart with such joy and wonder... that it may add years to your life! And there’s really no way to put a price on that kind of thing... is there?

Friday Night Double Features Vol. 65

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Mon, 6 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Adam Riske and Patrick Bromley

Ten new double features to check out when your favorite baseball team has an off day.

Double Feature 1:

Adam: #1: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Patrick: #2: Wired (1989)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Billy Elliott, No Hard Feelings, Doomed: The Untold Story of Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four
Patrick: Theme: Motherfucker Looks Just Like The Thing

Patrick: I had a hard time pairing Reservoir Dogs because it meant so much to me at one point in my life and doesn’t feel like it goes with anything easily – at least, nothing that isn’t just repeating the same kind of “crime gone wrong” ‘90s bullshit that this movie helped invent. I decided to pull one random line of dialogue I like about Lawrence Tierney and build the double around that. Plus, I’ve never seen Wired so this is my chance to experience one of the most reviled movies of all time on the big screen!

Adam: It’s a funny theme and a great observation about Lawrence Tierney. I’d love to see Reservoir Dogs on an original 35mm print so that’s why I picked it as a headliner. Following it up with one of my childhood fascinations, Wired, is like nutmeg to me. So let me explain. When I was 7 years old, I saw the newspaper ad for Wired and knowing the little that I did about John Belushi (but knowing that he was a big comedy star) I thought it was going to win several Oscars. I was very surprised that Siskel & Ebert didn’t like it because it was going to win several Oscars. I can vividly recall being at Lake Geneva on Wired’s opening day and thinking “You know what would be a great capper to today? If we see Wired on the way home.” I eventually bought a bootleg of Wired at Monstermania convention of all places and watched it once and thought it was bad but not as bad as Siskel & Ebert thought it was. It has a good performance by The Thing that should have won an Oscar. I feel like if we played a print of Wired we might awaken the Deadites.

Double Feature 2:

Patrick: #1: Femme Fatale (2002)
Adam: #2: Gone Girl (2014)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Draft Day, Fast Five, Wayne’s World
Adam: Theme: Alliterative Titles

Adam: The trailers don’t really fit the tone of the double feature, but they should be fun to watch. That aside, I think Femme Fatale and Gone Girl would play great together and would be an entertaining showcase for two movies made by stylish directors. I need to give both another try. I don’t dislike either but I’m not the fan of them that most are, which bums me out a little. Did you know Norman Reedus was at my screening of Gone Girl when I saw it in 2014? That day I was VIP.

Patrick: I love this double because these two movies are among my favorites of their respective decades. Not trying to sell you on movies you don’t love. Maybe this will be a magic viewing for one or both! I think these would play together, too, because they’re both modern day takes on the “dangerous woman” trope. Where did you see Gone Girl with Reedus in attendance? Was it Troy Duffy’s bar?

Adam: Hahaha. I was at the late, great Alamo Drafthouse Ritz in Austin.

Double Feature 3:
Adam: #1: Police Story (1985)
Patrick: #2: The Protector (1985)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Heart of Dragon, Cannonball Run II, Dragon Lord
Patrick: Theme: ‘80s Jackie Chan

Patrick: I know the ‘70s gave him his start and the ‘90s are when he broke through with American audiences, but I love the ‘80s period of Jackie Chan when he was bouncing back and forth between his Hong Kong films and trying (pretty unsuccessfully) to make it in the U.S. I tried to make this double feature a reflection of that, programming one of his all-time greats with a mostly-forgotten buddy cop actioner directed by the great James Glickenhaus that pairs Jackie with Danny Aiello of all people. I like both of these movies because I can’t tell good from bad.

Adam: I like this double feature because a) I like Jackie Chan movies and b) I can never remember which I’ve seen of his pre-1996 releases. I know I have seen a few of them but for some reason I can’t retain which ones I’ve seen prior to my Letterboxd days (thank goodness for having that as a tracker). Plus, I love Aiello so a buddy cop movie between those two guys sounds great.

Double Feature 4:

Patrick: #1: The Matrix (1999)
Adam: #2: Ready or Not (2019)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, V for Vendetta, The Babysitter, Mayhem
Adam: Theme: An Evening with the Weavings

Adam: Ok, can I make a confession? I love Samara Weaving while also being rarely interested in her movies. I’m becoming genre movie averse perhaps or maybe just the type of movie she usually does. To be more positive, I do want to try Ready or Not again because I like Samara Weaving so much as an actor and personality off screen and Hugo Weaving is in a lot of bangers, my favorite of which is the original The Matrix (imo the best movie of 1999) so thank you for programming that as the lead feature.

Patrick: I think you’re onto something with Samara Weaving. I’m glad she’s getting movies and big opportunities but she’s kind of being wasted in material that’s just good to ok. This is a good pairing not just for the Weaving connection but because Ready or Not will go down very easily after The Matrix, which is so much movie that it’s hard to pair anything with it.

Double Feature 5:
Adam: #1: Cape Fear (1991)
Patrick: #2: The Color of Money (1986)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Eric Clapton “It’s in the Way That You Use It” music video, The Departed, Ben Stiller Show “Cape Munster” sketch
Patrick: Theme: Scorsese Goes Commercial

Patrick: I know you’re not a big Color of Money guy so I’m sorry to program it again (I think?), but I liked the idea of a pair of movies directed by Scorsese because he wanted to make a hit. He’s so good that you can’t even tell that he’s “slumming” as far as his body of work goes because both of these movies are, to me, pretty great. What do you think is his weakest movie? I don’t think he has ever made a “bad” movie but there are a few I like less than others. Also I don’t really want to watch the Cape Fear TV show on Apple TV. Life is too short to keep adapting the same IP over and over and over again.

Adam: For the record, I’m as pro The Color of Money as I’ve ever been right now thanks to a rewatch early this year. I just don’t think it’s as good as The Hustler and it’s a bottom tier Scorsese (imho) but it’s totally watchable and entertaining. I haven’t seen his Cape Fear in a long time so I’m due for a revisit. As far as Scorsese’s weakest movie??? Hmmm...maybe New York New York? I just don’t think it works.

Double Feature 6:

Patrick: #1: Demonic Toys (1992)
Adam: #2: Child’s Play 2 (1990)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Toy Soldiers, Toys, Toy Story, Jingle All the Way, Small Soldiers
Adam: Theme: Toys!

Adam: I mean…I didn’t try very hard on this theme, but it seems silly not to program another killer toy movie here to pair with Demonic Toys. Is that one of your recommended Full Moons? I trust your judgment in this department. The trailer block should be fun. I remember seeing the preview for Toys (probably before The Distinguished Gentleman) and thinking it would gross $100M easy. But alas, audiences didn’t want to play with it. They had Robin Williams money that holiday season and it was all going to Aladdin. I remember being at a Burger King when I was 10 and overhearing a kid and his dad talking about seeing Aladdin and I looked at my parents like “I wonder if they’re hearing this and putting together that I dunno their own son wants to see Aladdin.” I wasn’t gonna ask. They needed to figure it out themselves. We didn’t see it in theaters. I saw it on video. My point is I didn’t have everything growing up.

Patrick: I do not recommend Demonic Toys, actually. There are way better Full Moons. I’m just slowly trying to see all of their movies in theaters and right now I’m at a total of 3. I’m excited that we at least get to watch Child’s Play 2 right after because I think that’s the Chucky I revisit the most. That toy store finale is such an all-timer.

Double Feature 7:
Adam: #1: The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)
Patrick: #2: Urban Legend (1998)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: Ready or Not 2: Here I Come, Old School, Jamie Lee Curtis redoes her rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” from The Last Showgirl live
Patrick: Theme: Turn Around, Bright Eyes

Patrick: Again, I’m being very obvious, but this came to mind because I just saw Ready or Not 2 and there’s a big sequence set to “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” on which I call bullshit because because The Strangers: Prey at Night – to date the only Strangers movie I’ve seen and a movie I like – already laid such effective claim to it. RoN2 should have picked a different song. I’m going to go out and buy snacks when Jamie Lee does her live performance because just watching that shit in a movie was one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen. No way I can handle it in person. I’ll bring you back some Raisinets.

Adam: I haven’t seen Ready or Not 2 but it’s an eyeroll from me for using “Total Eclipse of the Heart” (a family favorite song in the Riske household back in the day). The scene in The Strangers: Prey at Night (which is also the only Strangers movie I like -- I’ve seen that one and the original) where they play it is pretty fantastic. Pairing that movie with Urban Legend sounds really fun. Because of you, I once YouTube’d that JLC scene in The Last Showgirl and wow is it awkward. They really thought they nailed it, didn’t they? Thank you for the Raisinets. They go great with popcorn. Just ask Paul Reiser. He knows what’s up.

Double Feature 8:

Patrick: #1: Network (1976)
Adam: #2: Tender Mercies (1983)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: Phenomenon, A Civil Action, Open Range, Secondhand Lions, The Judge
Adam: Theme: Robert Duvall Through the Decades

Adam: I miss Robert Duvall. Hopefully this is a good tribute to him. Network isn’t my jam (I’m allergic to a lot of satire) but I’ve only seen it once so I’d like to try again and I’ve never seen his Oscar-winning performance in Tender Mercies so this will be a good opportunity to give myself an excuse to watch it. In recent years, I’ve really enjoyed watching Duvall, especially how amused he is onscreen while skirting the line of being in character and breaking character. It’s kind of a magic trick. He’s especially good in Phenomenon, A Civil Action, and Open Range. I couldn’t resist programming the trailer for Secondhand Lions because it’s a running joke between me and anyone who will listen. The first thing I thought after Duvall passed was “Aw man” and the second was “There’s an opening to be a Secondhand Lion.” Maybe Thirdhand. I don’t know. I’ll need to confer with Michael Caine and Haley Joel Osment. Maybe just Caine. I hear Osment is sketchy these days.

Patrick: I like when we devote a night to one of the greats. Duvall has never been one of my guys but he’s obviously always great, especially in the movies you mentioned. Like you, I’ve never seen Tender Mercies so I’m stoked that we will both be seeing it together for the first time. If we ever franchise the Cinemarink, we can call the next location Secondhand Cinemarink. Just kidding! We are never franchising.

Double Feature 9:
Adam: #1: Marathon Man (1976)
Patrick: #2: Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
Patrick: Trailers/Shorts: The Dentist, Teeth, Novocaine
Patrick: Theme: Is It Safe?

Patrick: I’ve only seen Marathon Man once and don’t remember being knocked out by it, but my love for Roy Scheider has only grown since then so I need to revisit it. The only thing I could remember about it was the dentist stuff so I built the night around that. Real creative, Patrick.

Adam: I’ve yet to see Marathon Man. I should. Can I make a confession? I don’t think I like Little Shop of Horrors (1986). Am I a pariah? There are a few beloved '80s comedies I can’t get down with (like Scrooged) and over the years LSoH is one of them even though I used to like it as a kid and am a fan of the Roger Corman original. P.S. Not sure why but I wanted to see the Steve Martin Novocaine badly when I was away at college. There were no theaters nearby playing it. It’s not good, but I’ll always like it a little because I wanted to see it so much for whatever reason.

Double Feature 10:

Patrick: #1: Mo' Better Blues (1990)
Adam: #2: Inside Man (2006)
Adam: Trailers/Shorts: The Bone Collector, The Hurricane, American Gangster
Adam: Theme: Universal Denzel

Adam: These aren’t among my favorite Denzels but that’s okay. He’s in so many great movies that it seems almost like mid-tier when you consider the ones that are just good. I haven’t seen Mo' Better Blues in a while so this is a great opportunity to see it in a theater with that amazing score blaring. Fun fact: I do the trumpet of the song Mo' Better Blues pretty well with my mouth. Join Patreon to hear that! It’s like the scene in Jarhead where Jake Gyllenhaal plays “Reveille.” Inside Man is a movie I like more each revisit. My only complaint is it’s a hostage movie and that’s a subgenre that I don’t like very much. Two Spikes in one night!

Patrick: I like Inside Man more each time too! When I first saw it I felt like it was Spike trying to be commercial but now I love seeing how it fits in with his work. Yes it’s commercial but it’s still totally a Spike Lee joint. I was watching Mo’ Better Blues for the first time when I programmed it so I’m excited to rewatch it again as part of a Spike/Denzel/Universal double. You should do mouth trumpet live at this screening. Maybe Cynda Williams will come and you can serenade her. I will back you up on air sax. Then we can have Love and Air Sax. Goodnight!

Adam: 10/10 Brilliant.

Weekend Open Thread

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Sat, 4 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Review: THE DRAMA

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Fri, 3 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Rob DiCristino

Love means constantly having to say you’re sorry.

It’s impossible to discuss The Drama without revealing its controversial central conceit. Don’t read ahead if you don’t want it spoiled.

On a recent podcast, I admitted that being Gone Girled by a romantic partner wouldn’t always be a dealbreaker for me. I wasn’t kidding. Honestly, I deserve to be Gone Girled, and if I’m being totally, completely, perhaps far too honest, the craft and dedication that this hypothetical partner would have to employ in order to Gone Girl me in the first place would only endear them to me all the more. Gone Girling requires skill. Creativity. The kind of pathological codependency almost guaranteed to drop my panties. You have to really love someone to fuck with them that much, you know? Right? Maybe you disagree. Look, this review isn’t about me or my crippling emotional damage; it’s about the fact that we all have our point of no return, a point known to mathematicians — okay, fine; mathematicians I’ve invented — as the “Still Would” Coordinate. Relationships are built on empathy and compromise, and we’ve all put up with things we would find unacceptable if they didn’t come in a sexy package. Up to a point. That point is the “Still Would” Coordinate. Get it?

Written and directed by Norwegian filmmaker Kristoffer Borgli — whose Dream Scenario was one of 2023’s more undersung curiosities — The Drama is a vibrant, hilarious, and deeply unsettling exploration of the “Still Would” Coordinate. We begin with a coffee shop meet-cute between museum curator Charlie (Robert Pattinson) and book store clerk Emma (Zendaya). She’s deaf in one ear. He’s pretending to have read the book in front of her. They’re both hot. You know where this is going. Mercifully, Borgli skips past the “getting to know you” stuff and brings us to the eve of their wedding, when Charlie is drafting his speech with his best pal, Mike (Mamoudou Athie). Which stories should make the cut? Which should be left out? Should he recount the passion of their cunnilingus? Probably not, right? Her dad’s going to be there. Anyway, it’s all first world problems until a tipsy evening out with Mike’s wife, Rachel (Alana Haim), leads to a startling confession: When she was a gothy, disaffected teenager, Emma planned and came close to executing a school shooting.

For a lot of you reading this — and certainly for the sanctimonious, hypocritical Rachel — that right there is enough to completely sour you on everything The Drama has cooking over its remaining sixty minutes. I don’t get it, personally, but I’ve now read enough outrage takes inspired by the film to understand that some of you just don’t engage with things that make you uncomfortable. And yes, it’s catastrophically depressing to consider that mass shootings are and will continue to be a thing. But they are a thing. People do them. Teenagers do them because being a teenager is a fucking nightmare, and they often have little to no understanding of — or recourse for — the Molotov cocktail of emotion inherent in that stage of life. Emma certainly didn’t, and while Charlie grapples with newfound doubts about whether he should tie himself to her for all eternity, the theatrically-aggrieved Rachel gets to work poisoning his friends and family against her. It all builds to a wedding day showdown that will ultimately make or break what was once a fairy tale love story.

Edited with a sharp, elliptical wit and teeming with a distinctly Scandinavian gallows humor sure to put some audiences on edge — especially those expecting a straightforward rom-com starring two of Hollywood’s brightest stars — The Drama is a pure sicko’s delight, a film that knows which psychological buttons to press and precisely how and when to press them. It’s a significant leap forward for Borgli after Dream Scenario, which has its share of intriguing moments but is ultimately too esoteric to hang together as a coherent work. Borgli threads the thematic needle much better this time around, allowing his immensely charming leads — Pattinson and Zendaya are straight-up terrific here, each adding a perfect blend of seasoning to their stock rom-com archetypes — to drive the drama at a more accessible pace. Borgli approaches humanity with the same cynicism as filmmakers like David Fincher and Ari Aster (the latter of whom produced Dream Scenario and The Drama), but subversive as it is, The Drama clearly still believes in everlasting love.

It’s that balance of rapture and repulsion that makes The Drama feel so refreshing. While “anti-rom-coms” like Materialists trip over their own lofty attempts to dismantle the entire Romance Industrial Complex, The Drama succeeds by exploring one simple, universal question: Can we ever actually love someone unconditionally? It’s an agonizing proposal for Charlie, one with no simple, easily-digestible answer (He does end up talking about their sex life at the wedding reception, by the way, but that’s not why he leaves it with two black eyes and a bloody nose). Some of you will agree with Rachel, who uses her cousin’s horrific mass shooting experience as justification for her outrage. Others will side with Charlie’s co-worker, Misha (Hailey Gates), who says she’d call the police on her boyfriend if he made a similar confession. Personally, I’d hate to be judged today for the person I was at fifteen. Hell, I’d hate to be judged today for the person I was yesterday. But that’s the beauty of Borgli’s film: We all have a “Still Would” Coordinate, and The Drama will help us find it.

The Drama hits U.S. theaters today.

Full Moon Fever: SEEDPEOPLE

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Thu, 2 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Patrick Bromley

When horror goes plant-based.

One of my goals for 2026 is to get back to writing Full Moon Fever, my once-regular column devoted to Full Moon movies. What began in 2014 as an experiment in covering Full Moon's then-new streaming service has dwindled over the last decade as most of my writing has, in part due to the demands of life, in part due to lack of inspiration, and in part due to an overall disillusionment with the direction of Full Moon as a company. With few exceptions, I have found many of their new efforts borderline unwatchable, mostly because they lean into being cheap and shitty instead of being cheap and shitty but trying to make real movies. That was the charm of Full Moon in its heyday: they had limited resources but made movies at the very edge of their abilities. Of course, their recent reliance on AI in their movies hasn't helped matters. Fuck AI and fuck them for using it so much in movies like Prompt and AIMEE: The Visitor.

Back in the salad days of the early '90s, the company was making stuff like Seedpeople, a goofy monster movie that at least attempts to be taken seriously and uses practical monsters, the latter of which the company still often practices but the former of which is a thing of the past. It's described on its Wikipedia entry as a "horror comedy" despite the fact that there is little to no comedy in the film. That's part of its charm: it means this shit. I get that people may laugh at it in a "this is so silly that I must form a protective layer of irony around me" way, but I don't think that's in the text. I think Seedpeople is trying its best, like all of the Full Moon movies I appreciate most.

That doesn't make it one of my favorites, though. The story is neither strong nor weird enough to stand out in the Full Moon catalogue. What makes their movies special is the fact that they wouldn't get made anywhere else, but Seedpeople is very much in the AIP tradition. Put a black and white filter on it and you'd swear it was directed by Roger Corman in the '50s. Charming? Sure, but not quite special. It tells the story of a small rural town that experiences an invasion from spore-like aliens who spray goo to replace humans with Seedpeople counterparts. If all of that sounds familiar, that's because it very much is.

Seedpeople is directed by Peter Manoogian, whose tenure with Charles Band dates way back to the Empire Pictures days, during which period he directed a segment of Adam Riske favorite The Dungeonmaster, plus Eliminators, Arena, and the excellent (and trapped on VHS [in the US]) Enemy Territory. At Full Moon, Manoogian directed Demonic Toys, The Midas Touch, DevilDolls, and Seedpeople, the studio's take on Invasion of the Body Snatchers that's somehow still credited to "an idea by Charles Band." His idea? Rip off Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And Invaders from Mars. And maybe Critters. The movie was born the way all Empire and Full Moon movies were born: with a title and a poster and a screenwriter hired ot flesh the idea out. In this instance, the writing duties fell to Jack Canson, one of Full Moon's in-house guys who wrote Robot Wars and Trancers II and Mandroid and Subspecies and Bad Channels all under the name of Jackson Barr. The creators behind Seedpeople were dependable company workhorses, responsible for doing good work during the Paramount era (era)...or maybe the work was good because it was made during the Paramount era (era), when the budgets gave Full Moon more money and space in which to make movies.

One of the movie's more noteworthy aspects is that it co-stars Andrea Roth in an early performance as Heidi, the ex-girlfriend of leading man Sam Hennings, the geologist who comes to Comet Valley to investigate the arrival of a meteorite. Outside of Full Moon, viewers may recognize her most as Denis Leary's beleaguered and abused wife on the FX drama Rescue Me or as the mom from the underrated 2009 horror film The Collector. I guess that's not really noteworthy if you don't know Andrea Roth's work -- and there's a good chance you don't -- but Full Moon typically used their own stable of genre stars like Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs and rarely do we get a "before they were famous" performance that I thought it was worth pointing out. What else is Full Moon Fever for if not stupid shit like this?

I wish I had more to say about Seedpeople. It somehow manages to be the Full Moon equivalent of a programmer, a piece of Full Moon content rather than something more memorable. The Paramount period is known for movies with their own personalities -- personalities that helped establish the company's brand in its early years. This doesn't quite fit in with that crop (Seeds? Crop? Is that anything?) and instead feels like the kind of cheap B-movie most people associate Full Moon with making. The fact that it failed to spawn (Seeds? Spawn? You there?) a franchise at a time when just about every other Full Moon property was being franchised is proof enough that it doesn't work the way it was intended. Apparently, a sequel was pitched in the '90s by Jay Woelfel and past podcast guest Dave Parker but Full Moon opted not to run with it. The creatures did appear in the 2018 comic book series Dollman Kills the Full Moon Universe. My subscription must have lapsed because I didn't read that issue.

Got a movie you'd like to see covered in Full Moon Fever? Let us know in the comments below.

FTM 814: SICK DAY

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Wed, 1 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Patrick is under the weather and Rob is on spring break so they talk about anything they want.

Download this episode here.

Subscribe to F This Movie! on Apple Podcasts

Also discussed this episode: Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice (2026), Are We Good? (2025), Sisu: Road to Revenge (2025), Project Hail Mary (2026)

Johnny Showtime: THEY WILL KILL YOU

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by JB

The devil worshippers attending my most recent movie screening wanted to make me their human sacrifice...

Just kidding!

Because I have an almost unlimited supply of both free time and five-dollar bills, I am a sucker/the ideal demographic for Cinemark Theaters’ Secret Screening series. Once or twice a month, the fine folks at Cinemark show a new film, usually on Monday evening, and DO NOT advertise the title in advance. You pays your money, you buys your ticket, and you learns the movie only as it starts. In my experience, the film is usually a smaller budget or independent film that is opening that Friday; the studio is trying to garner some weekday workplace word-of-mouth. Other theater chains, I have learned, have similar promotions. Regal Cinemas call their series the “Monday Mystery Movie.” AMC Theaters call theirs “Screen Unseen.” Their “Scream Unseen” series is dedicated to new horror movies.

I must say, I have been delighted more than appalled by the Secret Screenings I have attended; I have never walked out, though I always leave the house thinking, “Well, if it’s really awful, I’ll just come home.” Through the Secret Screening series, I have seen what amounts to sneak previews of Your Monster, The Bikeriders, The Order, and the recent Dead of Winter, among many others.

As a frequent moviegoer, I'm used to knowing what I am about to see, so I can either temper my expectations or lean in with enthusiasm. These Secret Screenings throw me for a loop. I spend the entirety of the trailers trying to guess the film. Every trailer crosses another possibility off my list, knowing they would never show the trailer for the film du jour before the film du jour... or would they? The lights go down, the screen flickers... wait, are these the opening credits? A recent secret screening of Luc Besson’s Dracula: A Love Tale had me convinced for almost two full minutes that I was about to see some brand-new Czechoslovakian anime.

Cinemark’s Secret Screening last Monday was They Will Kill You, directed by Kirill Sokolov. “Good!” I thought, “It's a horror film. This is my wheelhouse.” I really knew nothing about the movie, but I'd seen the poster, which for some strange reason made me think it was about... African murder tribes?

Nope.

THE PLOT IN BRIEF: Asia Reaves (Zazie Beetz) answers a classified ad to be a maid at a creepy New York City co-op, not realizing she is entering a building where maids have... let’s say... disappeared over the years. Asia’s backstory reveals that she has not taken the job to merely... let’s say... change sheets and vacuum carpets.

I really liked this film. It was peppy. It was snappy. Though it owes a great deal to Quentin Tarantino, Sam Raimi, John Woo, and Wes Anderson (Doesn’t that sentence alone make you want to see it?) I liked the direction and the art direction. Loved the special effects. Loved the costumes. Loved the extensive fight choreography. I ran hot and cold on the sometimes incredibly athletic performances; I’m still trying to figure out what accent Patricia Arquette was attempting. Irish? Dutch? South African? Transylvanian?

I will say this: Because it was chosen for the Secret Screening series, I was really surprised by how gory the film is. Sure, it’s comic, over-the-top bloodshed, in the spirit of Evil Dead 2; but I wasn’t sure how the unsuspecting “surprise” audience would handle it.

SPOILER ALERTS FOR THEY WILL KILL YOU: They loved it—every decapitation, every arterial spray, every crazy speed-ramped fight scene, and especially an extended sequence during which Heather Graham’s eyeball goes on a solo spying mission throughout the high-rise. My fellow audience members ate it up! (The sequence, that is, not her eye. Yuck.)

Look out for another extended sequence wherein Ms. Beetz sets fire to some black-robed baddies I predict this scene will be shown whenever this film is discussed in the future, especially on the YouTube machine It’s that cool.

The 64-year-old man in me says, “Impressive.”
The 12-year-old boy in me says, “Neato!”
The Secret Screener in me says, "Now I know what the movie IS."
The pragmatic moviegoer in me says, “You should all go see They Will Kill You.”

2K Replay: 16 BLOCKS

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Adam Riske

Nominated for “Outstanding Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role” (Yasiin Bey, formerly known as Mos Def) at the Black Movie Awards. He lost to Laurence Fishburne in Akeelah and the Bee.

• Best Scene/Moment: Anytime Yasiin Bey’s character talks about how he wants to open a bakery that specializes in birthday cakes. It’s more interesting than the main plot.

• Best Song: “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe” by Barry White.

• Best Merch: A “16 Blocks (2006) - Double-Sided - Movie Theater Mylar…” for $12.99. There wasn’t much to choose from. This mylar is perfect for this movie. It’s all so bland. Fun fact: When I searched this movie on eBay for merch, I got more results for New Kids on the Block stuff than for 16 Blocks. I wonder if there’s a crossover superfan of both out there somewhere.

• Director Grade: 16 Blocks was directed by Richard Donner.
Great Movies: N/A
Good Movies: Superman, Lethal Weapon, Lethal Weapon 2, Radio Flyer, Conspiracy Theory
OK Movies: The Goonies, Lethal Weapon 3, Maverick, 16 Blocks
Bad Movies: Scrooged, Assassins, Lethal Weapon 4, Timeline
Unseen By Me: X-15, Salt and Pepper, Lola, The Omen, Inside Moves, The Toy, Ladyhawke, Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut
Overall Grade: B-

• Double It with This 2006 Movie: Lucky Number Slevin

• Year 2006 Movies to Trailer Before Them: Dave Chappelle’s Block Party, Inside Man, Running Scared

• Ella McCay or 16 Blocks? Ella McCay
• Mall Movie? I’m gonna say no. This isn’t prestige-y so it could play the mall but Richard Donner doesn’t feel like a mall director and this movie is too square for the mall.

• Only in 2006: Yasiin Bey chooses a voice that thankfully didn’t escape 2006 and was contained only in 16 Blocks. Someone should’ve stopped him early during filming.

• Scene Stealer: I’ll go with Casey Sander by default only because I was like “Wait. Is that Bernadette’s father from The Big Bang Theory?”

• I Miss (tie): Richard Donner and new Bruce Willis movies.

• I Don’t Miss: David Morse. I feel like he’s in one out of every four movies I’ve watched in the past six months. I don’t know how this keeps happening. I should start watching more new releases since he hasn’t been in as many movies in recent years.

• 2006 Crush: Nope.

• 2026 Crush: I got nothing. A 2K Replay first!

• What I Thought in 2006: I vaguely remember not liking 16 Blocks when I saw it back in 2006. It felt kinda drab and low energy. I usually like sad hero Bruce Willis characters too, so it was somewhat of a disappointment.

• What I Think in 2026: I was slightly surprised to realize on this viewing that 16 Blocks is just as much a cop drama as it’s an action movie. It’s very meh. I like the Bruce Willis performance, but Yasiin Bey is doing a thing, and it gets grating after a while and I lost interest in what was happening well before the end credits. It’s a forgettable programmer on par with a TNT cop show you’d watch at 11am on a Tuesday.

Weekend Open Thread

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Sat, 28 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Review: THE AI DOC: OR HOW I BECAME AN APOCALOPTIMIST

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0500

by Rob DiCristino

The end is extremely f*cking nigh.

What is artificial intelligence? No, like, literally. What is it? That’s the first question that filmmaker Daniel Roher poses to each of his interview subjects in The AI Doc: Or How I Became an Apocaloptimist. The lineup is extensive: OpenAI founder Sam Altman. Anthropic presidents Daniela and Dario Amodei. Center for Humane Technology co-founder Tristan Harris. Game theorist Liv Boeree. Historian and author Yuval Noah Harari. Turing Award-winning computer scientist Yoshua Bengio. I’ll admit that I don’t know who most of these people are — except Harari; I read and almost understood Sapiens — but Roher and co-director Charlie Tyrell assure us that they’re on the cutting edge of AI research and development. These are the people driving the future, the ones deciding what this latest evolution in our society is actually going to look like. Will AI automate jobs? Streamline education? Will it cure diseases? Revolutionize military strategy? Will there be human rights abuses? Corporate malfeasance? Will the Terminators be assassins or father figures?

Spoilers: None of these experts seems to know for sure. That’s okay, really, because while it may be advertised as an incisive investigation into the roots, functions, and endgame of our new artificially-intelligent society, The AI Doc is mostly about an expectant father having a full-on — and very reasonable — panic attack. With his wife (fellow filmmaker Caroline Lindy) set to give birth to their first child, Roher demands some measure of reassurance from these masters of the universe: Is he bringing his child into a world with a future? If so, what will it look like? Will his child have a place in it? What about any others who might come after them? Better yet, would any of these experts have children of their own right now? As you might expect, the answers vary: Most of the talking heads — which further include the likes of Google AI co-founder Demis Hassabis, LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman, Empire of AI author Karen Hao, and XPRIZE chairman Peter Diamandis — are at odds. Some believe in a shiny utopia of automated pleasures. Others, well. Much less so.

So as you might expect, Roher’s narration — which is animated in a charming stop-motion style that offers the whole enterprise a bit of homemade texture — oscillates wildly between cautious optimism and existential catastrophe. Each new bit of data sends him cascading from one perspective to the other: He’s encouraged by anecdotes about breakthroughs in medical research in one moment before recoiling in horror at reports of ChatGPT-fueled teenage suicide in the next. AI champions like Diamandis boast it as the most revolutionary innovation in human history, while journalists like Hao — who stand to make far less money from this level of enthusiasm — are not as convinced. Home footage of Lindy’s pregnancy punctuates the immediacy of Roher’s search for philosophical grounding, but none of these eminent figures seems able to provide the cocktail of positive vibes and empirical data that can answer all of his questions. Appearances from top dogs like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg are teased but never come to fruition.

What’s left over might be most generously described as a layman’s introduction to artificial intelligence couched in a pleasant story about incoming parenthood. Like most of us, Roher ultimately has no idea what to make of AI: He appreciates its potential benefits and worries about its more dangerous implications. That’s all very fine and dandy, I suppose, but as The AI Doc scrambles for a definitive thesis, it becomes alarmingly clear to us that it won’t be providing any genuine insight. There’s a baffling naivety to its “Kumbaya,” “Write your congressperson,” “Let’s just all trust in the benevolence of society” closing argument, an ideological shrug of the shoulders that they actually have the gall to let Lindy lampshade just seconds before it’s executed in earnest. It’s not that Roher’s personal conclusion is necessarily flawed — I mean, there’s really very little any of us can actually do to get off a train that’s already well in motion — but his insistence on “apocaloptimism” never comes close to feeling earned. In short: The AI Doc will teach you absolutely nothing new about AI.

In the end, the question is this: How can those of us watching The AI Doc forestall the inevitable rise of artificial intelligence? The film’s not-so-subtle answer? Nothing. We can’t do anything about it. It’s here. It’s already over. We lost this race before we even knew we were running it. My students trust Google’s AI Overview results more than they trust me. My grandmother tells ChatGPT intimate details of her everyday life that she would never entrust to blood relatives. Hell, even I can’t pretend I never use it: Grammarly copy edited this review! And not even all that well! That’s really bad news for a system the government is using for, you know, missile defense! You know what we can do, though? Watch movies. Watch Blade Runner or 2001: A Space Odyssey. Watch Ex Machina or Short Circuit. Oh! Watch Alphaville. That’s a weird one. Read a little Phillip K. Dick. Kurt Vonnegut. Ask Adam Riske to recommend a good Twilight Zone episode. Finally set aside the time to get into Westworld. Our so-called “imagineers” are looking out for themselves. We’re on our own.

The AI Doc: Or How I Became an Apocaloptimist hits select U.S. theaters on Friday, March 27th.

2K Replay: THE BENCHWARMERS

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Thu, 26 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0500

by Adam Riske

Nominated for “Worst On-Screen Hairstyle” (David Spade) at the Stinkers Bad Movie Awards. He lost to Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code.

• Best Scene/Moment: The sequence where little league coach Tim Meadows sneaks a drunk, adult, semi-pro baseball player (played by Amaury Nolasco) onto his little league team so he can’t beat The Benchwarmers.

• Best Song (tie): “Gasolina” by Daddy Yankee and “Thank You for Sending Me an Angel” by Talking Heads.

• Best Merch: A “The Benchwarmers 2006 Screen Used Wayne Hardware Outfit - Tim Meadows” for $785.00. What better way to reminisce about the best scene in The Benchwarmers than by wearing the screen-used costume of an actor in that scene?! Don’t let the cost dissuade you. Just skip taking your family to baseball games for a couple of seasons. They’ll understand when you strut around the house in this sleek uni.

• Director Grade: The Benchwarmers was directed by Dennis Dugan.
Great Movies: Happy Gilmore
Good Movies: Big Daddy, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
OK Movies: Problem Child, Saving Silverman, The Benchwarmers, Just Go with It, Jack and Jill
Bad Movies: Beverly Hills Ninja, I Know Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2
Unseen By Me: Brain Donors, National Security, Love Weddings & Other Disasters
Overall Grade: C

• Double It with This 2006 Movie: Beer League

• Year 2006 Movies to Trailer Before Them: Everyone’s Hero, Grandma’s Boy, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
• Ella McCay or The Benchwarmers? Ella McCay

• Mall Movie? Yes. All Happy Madison movies are mall movies. Plus, the trio of Rob Schneider-David Spade-Jon Heder is about as mall as it gets.

• Only in 2006: Rob Schneider plays a talented athlete.

• Scene Stealer (tie): Jon Lovitz and Amaury Nolasco.

• I Miss: When there were a lot of sports movies in theaters during the 2000s.

• I Don’t Miss: Rob Schneider movies.

• 2006 Crush (tie): Molly Sims and Baseball.

• 2026 Crush (tie): Brooke Langton and Baseball.

• What I Thought in 2006: I remember thinking The Benchwarmers was surprisingly funny and a real find being that I saw it with low expectations at the dollar theater. It was super weird but not in a bad way -- the jokes hit more often than not, and it was okay too as a sports movie.

• What I Think in 2026: It’s nowhere near as good as I remembered, but I will give Happy Madison credit for consistently making very weird PG-13 comedies. Also, the trio of Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Jon Heder work well together even if individually they kinda don’t. It’s hard to explain but makes sense in my head. I don’t like any of their characters but they’re of a piece.

FTM 813: LADY IN THE WATER

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Wed, 25 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0500

The annual SFFFU show finds Patrick and Adam Riske being total narfs.

Download this episode here.

Subscribe to F This Movie! on Apple Podcasts

Also discussed this episode: The Rep (2013), Fearless (2006), The Protector (2006), Scream 7 (2026), Mr. Destiny (1990), The Rainmaker (1997), Anniversary (2025), Dangerous Game (1993)

Johnny Showtime: Mailbag

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0500

by JB

Questions, comments, and great thoughts from readers.

Q: What did you think of last weekend’s big new release, Project Hail Mary?
What gives? —Lloyd Tolan, Albuquerque, NM

A: I enjoyed it so much. It was big, ambitious, original, not based on an existing movie/TV/game/toy IP, not a sequel, devoid of superheroes, and full of ideas. I saw so many movies last year that people hemmed and hawed over (“Well, this one was not for me...” and “I was only able to get on board in the last half hour...”) It was nice to see a big, unapologetic crowd pleaser. The preview audience I saw it with last week were floored by it. Is it a perfect movie? No, but it’s just so goddamned entertaining. See it on the biggest screen you can.

Q: The other day I was enjoying a favorite Warner Brothers/Merry Melodies cartoon, I Haven’t Got a Hat, on television, when I noticed something was off. It was like the color on my TV set went all funny. I never noticed it looking this way before. What gives?
—Hugh Rumpole, Augusta, GA

A: The cartoon you were watching was originally filmed in two-strip Technicolor, sometimes used for Hollywood films between 1922–1932. According to the website for George Eastman House (aka the International Museum of Photography and Film), “[It] was an early color motion picture process that captured images using only red and green filters, skipping blue. A beam-splitting camera recorded these two-color records onto black-and-white film, which were then dyed red and green, glued together, and projected to produce a distinct, limited-spectrum look, focusing on red-green tones. The camera used a beam-splitter to split light into separate red and green paths, often recording them on a single black-and-white strip. The process could not reproduce blue, yellow, or purple accurately, resulting in a color palette dominated by shades of pink, red, orange, and blue-green. Because the two strips were often cemented back-to-back, the prints were often fragile and susceptible to scratching [...] While limited, it was used for several major productions, including early scenes in The Phantom of the Opera (1925) and The Wedding March (1928), before being replaced by the far more vibrant three-strip process in the mid-1930s.

Q: Last fall, I attended a special advance screening of Spinal Tap II: The End Continues at my local IMAX theater. I found the theater underwhelming and the screen rather small, not to mention that most of seats were either broken or that the upholstery had been repaired with thick, unsightly vinyl tape. Aren't IMAX screens supposed to meet “advanced standards” or something, to justify the higher price for a premium product? I guess I’m asking “When is IMAX not IMAX?” What gives?
—Barbara Connors, Oceanside, CA

A: True, not all IMAX theaters are the same. They vary significantly in screen size, projector technology, and aspect ratio. While "true" IMAX features massive screens and 70mm or dual-laser projection, many multiplexes use smaller, converted "LieMAX" screens with lower-resolution digital projectors. IMAX 70mm film theatres are the largest, original-sized auditoriums often found in museums or specialized venues, using 15-perforation/70mm film or Dual Laser (4K) to display a 1.43:1 aspect ratio. True 70mm IMAX requires a dedicated, massive screen (often 7 stories high) and a specialized projection booth that few theaters possess. IMAX with Laser features laser projection, providing superior brightness, color, and contrast over older digital systems. IMAX digital/xenon theaters ("LieMAX") feature smaller screens retrofitted into existing auditoriums, usually with 2K digital xenon projectors, resulting in a smaller aspect ratio. For the best experience, look for locations that offer 70mm film or Laser capabilities, as these provide a much larger and more immersive picture than "LieMAX," screens. There are only 19 theaters in the United States equipped to screen authentic IMAX 70mm films.

Looks like you saw Spinal Tap II in “LieMax,” which is the mockumentary version.

Q: I purchased Flicker Alley’s latest Laurel and Hardy release, Laurel & Hardy Year Two: The Newly Restored 1928 Silents; I must say I was underwhelmed. My favorite of their short films, Two Tars, was presented in a cleaned-up, though not pristine, version. Am I so spoiled by other recent, groundbreaking restorations that standard restoration work no longer has the power to impress me? What gives?
--James Finlayson, Culver City, CA

A: Let’s start by saying that we are lucky to still have these films at all, given that 70% of all silent films no longer exist in any form. It’s particularly amazing that the Laurel & Hardy shorts you mention survive, and here’s why. They were very, very popular when they were first released in the 1920s, meaning the original negatives were overprinted and eventually wore out. Original prints were returned to film exchanges damaged and with scenes missing. Replacements were often spliced together from several different damaged prints. Nitrate fires in theaters claimed many original prints; prints were also often stolen. Storage space cost money. Producer Hal Roach didn’t think about preservation; he was busy producing new films. Every sale of the rights was seen as the last time these films would generate money. The film library backlog was the responsibility of studio executives who would never spend a cent on preservation unless the new licensees paid to finance it, and they never did.

Film historian Richard W. Bann, on the website Film Preservation: Another Fine Mess, writes that Hal Roach Studios executive Herb Gelbspan "used to tell the following incredible story of how the studio took desperate measures each year to dodge a personal property tax the state of California imposed on film negatives. Every March 1, during the period when a physical inventory needed to be conducted, Hal Roach Studios would empty the Culver City Studio film vaults, and load all those precious nitrate negatives into tractor-trailer trucks. Then [...] the trucks were driven out of town and across the state line into Nevada, where they would be parked by the side of the road for days or weeks on end. All those [original negatives and prints] parked there in the hot desert sun with no shelter, as a tax shelter! Every year the materials were driven back and forth, risking explosions and fires in the event of a traffic accident. One thing that happened was that all the heat inside those trucks speeding along desert highways... caused the adhesive labels and leaders to fall off the reels and cans.

Through the years, whoever tried to re-label many of these film cans would optimistically call any positive image they found inside a 'master,' when often it was only a battered release print. Or a stock shot. Or test footage. To this day, there has never been a rigorous physical inventory conducted for the purpose of adequately identifying all of the studio holdings. So even now, opening old Roach film canisters offers surprises – some happy, some not.”

With the coming of sound, the perception was that the films no longer had worth and were junked for their silver content. I find it ironic that these amazing, funny films were first victims of their popularity... and then victims of their perceived unpopularity. Throughout the 1930s and 1940s, almost no one wanted what was widely regarded as surplus, out-of-favor material.

The saddest fact that I came upon in researching this question involves the ultimate fate of the Mack Sennet Studios original prints and negatives. After Mack Sennett went bankrupt in 1933, his entire physical inventory was liquidated in an auction; the winning bid was $875! The mind boggles. Before any of you can scream about the superior buying power of 1933 dollars, you need to know that $875 in 1933 is equal to $22,175 today. Not exactly a fortune for this irreplaceable treasure trove of comedy— literally hundreds of original negatives and prints. This collection of original Sennett elements was likely junked for its silver content, and another priceless piece of our cultural heritage was lost.

Q: What did you think of this year’s Oscars? What gives?
--Grace, age 7, Myrtle Beach, SC

A: I wrote a column about it last week.

Q: Oh, I stopped reading your column years ago.
--Grace, age 7, Myrtle Beach, SC

24 Hours of Movies: Sports!

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Suit up for movies!

Thank you to Adam Riske for suggesting the theme for this marathon!

10 am - Nobody's Perfect (1990, dir. Robert Kaylor)

Rather than start with an all-timer like Tin Cup or Hoosiers (which I have still never seen, #movieshame), I thought it would be fun to kick off our 24-hour sports movie marathon with an early '90s cable staple that almost no one remembers. Chad Lowe has one of only a handful of starring roles as Stephen, a college tennis player who gets kicked off his team and decides to wear drag and join the women's team as Stephanie; hilarious misunderstandings ensue. Taking its title from the great last line of Some Like It Hot is about as close as this movie ever gets to the Billy Wilder classic. I have no doubt that nothing in this movie has aged well, but as long as we go into it understanding that fact we should have a breezy, stupid 90 minutes during which to settle comfortably into the next 24 hours.

11:30 am - For Love of the Game (1999, dir. Sam Raimi)

Listen. I know there are "better" baseball movies I could program in the second slot. I know there are even better baseball movies that star Kevin Costner. But I want to shine a little light on this one because I'm one of the only people I can think of that like it despite knowing that it's pretty soggy and a weird but super sincere attempt by Sam Raimi to make a conventional studio movie without any of his usual eccentricities. Kevin Costner is a ballplayer in the twilight of his career trying to pitch a perfect game while reflecting back on the moments that got him to this point, mainly a romance with single mom Kelly Preston. The only thing that could have made this movie better is if the studio had shown courage. Google it or ask Adam Riske what I'm talking about.

1:30 pm - Stick It (2006, dir. Jessica Bendinger)

I am not the target audience for this movie, but I really like it for a couple of reasons: 1) it's about gymnastics, something I know little about but which turns out to be pretty cinematic; 2) Jeff Bridges appears to be enjoying himself as the coach and 3) it stars Canadian actress Missy Peregrym in the lead role as a rebellious teenager who enters the world of competitive gymnastics (imagine if the entirety of Bring It On focused on the Eliza Dushku character). I'm a big Missy Peregrym fan -- my fellow Rookie Blue heads know what's up -- and this feels like her one shot at mainstream stardom before she started working primarily on television and in some pretty good indie survival horror movies. I like the idea that we try to represent as many different sports as possible, as 24 hours of baseball movies would grow tiresome.

3:30 pm - The Best of Times (1986, dir. Roger Spottiswoode)

Our first (only?) football movie of the marathon is this '80s comedy drama starring Robin Williams as an adult who can't get over dropping the game-winning pass during the Big Game in high school, so he proposes a rematch between the team and their old rivals. First, he has to get the star quarterback (Kurt Russell) on board. The movie is written by Ron Shelton because it is about sports, but like a lot of Shelton screenplays also manages to be about things like identity, masculinity, and regret. His movies are always better when he directs them, but Roger Spottiswoode does a fine job bringing what is a passable three-star movie to the screen. Weirdly enough, I think this is the only Shelton representation of the entire marathon. I might have fucked up.

5:30 pm - Body Slam (1986, dir. Hal Needham)

A wrestling picture! Clearly made to capitalize on the burgeoning Rock 'n Wrestling connection of the 1980s, Body Slam stars Dirk Benedict as a music promoter who winds up managing a pro wrestling tag team (The Tonga Kid and Rowdy Roddy Piper, my all-time favorite, in his first big acting role). He starts up a romance with Tanya Roberts and runs afoul of Captain Lou Albano, playing the villainous manager of tag team The Cannibals. As someone who got into wrestling around this time, I have a lot of nostalgia for the scene presented by Body Slam (other wrestling personalities of the period make cameo appearances) even though the movie is kind of stupid and went direct to video except for a theatrical release in Arizona. For me, the early performance by Roddy Piper is the whole reason to see the movie. This was the last feature directed by the great Hal Needham.

7 pm - The Color of Money (1986, dir. Martin Scorsese)

Primetime Pizza slot goes to Martin Scorsese's sequel to The Hustler in which Paul Newman finally won his Oscar for returning to the role of "Fast" Eddie Felson, who has walked away from playing pool until he finds a new hustler (Tom Cruise) he wants to take under his wing. I know that Scorsese mostly made this movie because he needed a surefire commercial hit, but he still directs the shit out of it and the cast is incredible, especially Newman and Cruise in an electric performance as a pretty big douche. I'm not a big pool guy (though my son Charlie has become one, so much so that we bought him his own "Vince" t-shirt) but like with everything he touches, Scorsese makes it all incredibly cinematic. As studio for-hire movies go, this one is pretty great.

9 pm - Whip It (2009, dir. Drew Barrymore)

One of the tricks of programming long marathons like this is variety (obviously). That's one of the reasons horror works so well for 24 hour stretches -- there are so many different kinds of horror movies. Sports movies exist across a wide range of genres (mostly comedy and drama I guess), but there are also so many different sports to which movies have been devoted that we can also mix things up that way. This is all a long way of saying that we should include a movie about roller derby! As much as I enjoy stuff like Kansas City Bomber and Unholy Rollers, I'm in the mood to watch Whip It! here. Elliot Page plays a young woman who falls in love with roller derby and joins a team that consists of Juliette Lewis, Kristen Wiig, Eve, Drew Barrymore, and Zoë Bell of all people. I love a lot of them is what I'm saying. Whip It! is a fun, sincere celebration of a sport that doesn't get a ton of recognition. This movie makes me think Drew Barrymore should have directed more, but to this date it's her only effort behind the camera.

11 pm - Gimme an 'F' (1984, dir. Paul Justman)

Because there aren't a lot of sports horror movies and we're not watching Him as part of this marathon, I've opted instead to devote the overnight section of this marathon to trash cable staples of the 1980s. First up is Gimme an 'F,' a movie I mostly know about because a kid in elementary school had seen it and was obsessed with telling me as much he could about it. It's set at a cheerleading camp where the head counselor (Stephen Shellen of Casual Sex?) is roped into coaching a losing team in order to gain his freedom from the job. Despite being an '80s sex comedy, the gaze is is largely either female or homoerotic, with the movie's standout set piece an extended solo dance (a la Footloose) performed by Shellen and his dance double.

12:30 am - Kickboxer (1989, dir. David Worth)

Late night JCVD! I'm on record as not being a big "competitive fight movie" guy, but in the context of a sports movie marathon I think I would really enjoy this one, especially at 12:30 in the morning when we need something that demands very little. I haven't seen this one as much as Bloodsport so it could be more or less new to me, which is an exciting prospect. I know that it's beloved so if I can stay awake I'm excited to find out why, though I suspect it has something to do with the age at which all of its fans saw the movie.

2:30 am - Coach (1978, dir. Bud Townsend)

Speaking of age! You can't program a sports movie marathon without at least one movie told from the perspective of a coach, so how about one in which the coach starts sleeping with a player? And how about that coach being played by '70s icon and former pro tennis player Cathy Lee Crosby? And the student she fucks is a young Michael Biehn in his first movie role? And the movie is produced by Crown International Pictures? She plays an Olympic athlete who, through a case of mistaken identity, gets hired to coach a boys basketball team. I know, I know: a woman coach? Don't worry, she and a high school student enter a relationship and the team starts winning! It all sounds so sleazy but the movie feels kind of chaste despite the subject matter. It's also not all that good, which helps at this time of night.

4:15 am - Major League (1989, dir. David S. Ward)

Yes, this is our second baseball movie of the marathon when most sports are only getting one slot, but I couldn't let these 24 hours pass without some Sheen in one of my favorite sports comedies of all time. Besides, the tone and approach of Major League couldn't be more different from the soapy drama of For Love of the Game, so I think we're in the clear. Like so many sports comedies, this one focuses on a ragtag team of lovable losers who learn to get their shit together and start winning, with standout comic performances from Sheen, Dennis Haysbert, and Wesley Snipes, among others. This was a VHS classic for me and my younger sister, the only 10-year old girl to ever have a huge crush on Tom Berenger.

6 am - Slap Shot (1977, dir. George Roy Hill)

We need a hockey movie and I've actually never seen Slap Shot (I know, I know, more #movieshame) so let's slot it into our marathon so I can finally check it off. Major League will have hopefully helped us wake up so we're ready for this one. I know it's supposed to be one of the best hockey movies ever made, which is good because I think I've only seen, like, Mystery Alaska and the first two Mighty Ducks movies. This one focuses on the fighting more than those, right?

8 am - Happy Gilmore (1996, dir. Dennis Dugan)

Ok, this one is a little hockey adjacent, making Slap Shot a great lead-in, but really it's a golf movie and one of the best of all the Adam Sandler comedies. He plays a frustrated hockey player who discovers he's good at golf and starts entering tournaments to save his grandmother's house. The supporting cast, which includes Carl Weathers, Julie Bowen, and (especially) Christopher Macdonald, are all aces and the movie occasionally indulges in those moments of absurdity that made Billy Madison so great. For some reason, I think this one is better remembered. I'm so glad they never made a sequel to this and never will.

9:30 am - Days of Thunder (1990, dir. Tony Scott)

It's a good idea to end a marathon with a movie that doesn't demand too much from us. The great Tony Scott made a movie about Tom Cruise driving very fast in a circle and remembering that he's awesome! Doesn't sound too demanding to me. This is just Top Gun in stock cars, but it's slick and functional enough to be good. Plus we get Robert Duvall (RIP), Cary Elwes, Michael Rooker, Caroline Williams, and early Kidman. I would drive in circles very fast for early Kidman. Or Kidman now. Really any Kidman is circle worthy.

Weekend Open Thread

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Sat, 21 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0500

Review: READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Fri, 20 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Patrick Bromley

Double or nothing.

Warning: Spoilers for 2019's Ready or Not ahead.

The charms of 2019's Ready or Not were simple: a game of hide and seek with life or death stakes, a bit of class commentary, and a fantastic final girl in Samara Weaving, a genre secret weapon for years finally getting her Coming Out Party. It told a complete story, one that ended with Weaving's character alone and covered in the blood of her new in-laws, all of whom exploded when they were unable to fulfill their end of a deal with the devil.. The idea of attempting to sequelize seemed almost impossible, because where could the story possibly even go from there?

Ah, but it's 2026 and Ready or Not is recognizable IP, so prepare yourselves for Ready or Not 2: Here I Come. Picking up the very moment that the first film ended -- Grace (Weaving) smoking on the steps, covered in blood -- the sequel rushes her to the hospital, where police are questioning her for what appears to be a whole bunch of murders. Also arriving at the hospital is Faith (Kathryn Newton), Grace's emergency contact and estranged sister who hasn't spoken to her in years. It isn't long before the two of them are kidnapped and hunted down in another game of hide and seek, this time by a bunch of wealthy and powerful families (instead of just one) looking to please Satan and basically take a place at his side, gaining control of...everything?...in the process. Among the ruling class playing the game this time around are twin siblings Sarah Michelle Gellar and Shawn Hatosy, Nestor Carbonell, Olivia Cheng, and Kevin Durand.

There are so many rules and so many wrinkles to the game of hide and seek in Ready or Not 2 that I don't even want to attempt to explain the plot in any further detail, especially because the overwritten exposition (by R. Christopher Murphy and Guy Busick, returning from the first film) only affects the outcomes for individual characters, not the overall structure or story being told. The mythology is deeper, the larger world is opened up, but it all boils down to rich people hunting Samara Weaving and her sister for sport with varying degrees of success. I guess this is what we want from a sequel: the appearance of bigger and bolder but really just more of the same. It's the John Wick approach to sequelizing.

That's not automatically bad! At least two of the John Wick sequels made my year-end top 10 lists. I just want to be upfront about the fact that once you strip away complicated rules and loopholes, more characters, and a higher body count, Here I Come is more or less a remake of Ready or Not. Here, as was the case with the John Wick sequels, it all comes down to execution. In that department, I can't say the second film is an improvement over the first, more a lateral move thanks to most of the creative carrying over, including Weaving, Murphy, Busick, and directors Tyler Gillette and Matt Bettinelli-Olphin, better known as Radio Silence. They do their usual good work behind the camera, but for every check in the plus column -- a great cast, some spectacular violence, deeper emotional resonance thanks to the relationship between Weaving and Newton -- there's a counterbalancing check in the minuses. There are too many characters, most of them underwritten. The female body is brutalized to an almost fetishistic degree. There are fewer surprises this time around, because once you know the big twist of the first film, you're not getting anything new here. A big needle ironic needle drop was used better in a horror film just a few years ago. The humor is less playful. It all feels like a wash.

Am I recommending Ready or Not 2: Here I Come? Sure, to people who liked the first movie and are invested in what happens to Grace or who are looking for more of the same. I enjoyed most of my time with it because there's a lot to like in it: not just the buckets of blood being splashed about, but also the weaponizing of David Cronenberg in a small role early on, or the performances from Gellar and Hatosy as the hateful twins, or the addition of Newton, who, like Weaving, has become horror royalty for a new generation. Those for whom Ready or Not failed to click, however, may find themselves frustrated all over again with a follow-up that achieves many of the same goals but also commits the same sins. As a horror kid who grew up in the 1980s, I was getting one of these a month, whether it's explaining more of Freddy Krueger's backstory in Dream Warriors or adding Druid mythology to the Halloween franchise in what is now referred to as the "Thorn trilogy." What I'm saying is that this is not the first horror sequel to spin its wheels in the name of Expanding the Universe. It won't be the last.

Review: PROJECT HAIL MARY

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Rob DiCristino

It’s Ryan Gosling and a friendly space rock. Buy a ticket.

The sun is dying. Wait, sorry. Not the real sun. Well, maybe that one, too. I don’t know much about the real sun, but everything else sucks, so I wouldn’t be surprised if something’s going on there. Regardless, let me start over: In Project Hail Mary, our sun — and hundreds of other suns in hundreds of distant galaxies — is being devoured by a body of space bacteria called Astrophage. As anyone who saw Danny Boyle’s Sunshine will recall, the sun dimming even ten percent will cause a catastrophic global ice age on Earth within just a few decades. Only one local star, Tau Ceti, is immune from the Astrophage plague — let’s call it the Astroplague — and Earth’s governments have convened to discover why. They’ve developed a way to use Astrophage as interstellar fuel and built a spaceship — the Hail Mary — that will travel to Tau Ceti and unlock the secrets of the Astroplague. Three astronauts are recruited for a suicide mission. One dies in training. His replacement? A middle school science teacher named Dr. Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling). Go!

Yes, despite the impenetrable density of its source material — author Andy Weir’s (The Martian) hard sci-fi bestseller of the same name — that’s all an eager theatergoer really needs to understand Project Hail Mary, the latest from action/comedy maestros Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. Waking from an induced coma without a clue as to who he is or how he ended up alone in deep space, Dr. Grace must shake off his amnesia, remember his mission, and execute it before the Earth turns into a popsicle. Luckily, he has help: A scientist from the planet Eridani — which is also dying of the Astroplague — is nearby! Trouble is, he’s a faceless rock spider about the size of a toaster oven who doesn’t speak English. Or any language. He doesn’t even have a mouth. This is an Andy Weir joint, however, so Dr. Grace will Science the Shit Out of the Problem until he and his pint-sized partner — whom he dubs “Rocky” (voiced and puppeteered by James Ortiz) — establish communication, cure the Astroplague, and, wouldn’t you know it, become best friends.

Even on the page, Project Hail Mary has the makings of a superb springtime blockbuster: it’s a big, expensive unit of studio entertainment that engages with its audience’s intelligence without overwhelming it. Screenwriter Drew Goddard streamlines all the relativistic astrophysics of Weir’s novel so that we never lose the heart of the piece — the real universe-saving mission was the friends we made along the way — and flashbacks to Dr. Grace’s time on Earth give us important context for his journey to martyrdom. The real fun of Project Hail Mary, though, is in the execution: Familiar faces like Lost’s Ken Leung, The Bear’s Lionel Boyce, and Anatomy of a Fall’s Sandra Hüller give the flashbacks a nice emotional grounding, while a canny mix of practical and digital effects lend the space sequences a tactility that most actioners of this scale wouldn’t bother with. Chris Dickens’ editing is smooth and upbeat, making even the most tense moments of Project Hail Mary feel like a joyride. A cold, dark, airless, joyride in space, perhaps, but a joyride nonetheless.

None of it works without Ryan Gosling, of course, who’s here in top-tier Nice Guys flibbertigibbet mode. Clad in a rotation of nerdcore t-shirts and cozy hoodies — and, to my delight, tucking his glasses under his chin like Daniel Craig in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo — Gosling unleashes a self-effacing charm assault that few leading men of his ilk have the confidence, or indeed the opportunity, to deploy. Dr. Grace was ostracized from the scientific community for his controversial ideas on biology — hence the middle school teaching job — and teetered on the edge of despair until the Astroplague made those ideas look like a reasonable alternative to, you know, passive acceptance of our collective extinction. Still, Dr. Grace is no thrill-seeker, and Project Hail Mary spends far more time developing his relationship with Rocky than on the fate of humanity. This costs the film some dramatic tension later on — we’re never quite as concerned for Dr. Grace’s survival as we are for, say, Matt Damon’s in The Martian — but it never matters all that much.

So while nitpickers will pick their nits at some of the more notable omissions from the novel — most of which amount to pages of inscrutable molecular biology — Project Hail Mary is a winning crowd-pleaser that gives far more to its audience than it asks from it. It’s another exceptional vehicle for Ryan Gosling, who continues to lend his star power to engaging mainstream projects that somehow still manage to hang just left of center (The Fall Guy is weird and good, actually). James Ortiz’s work with Rocky is seamless and delightful, recalling the E.T.s and Yodas of puppeteering golden eras (era) past. More than anything else, though, Project Hail Mary solidifies Andy Weir as the most prominent and exciting voice in popular science fiction entertainment, a working-class answer to the abstract science fantasy of Christopher Nolan and the lush, prestige spectacle of Denis Villeneuve. You don’t need an advanced degree to appreciate the enduring brotherhood between a Canadian hunk and his Pokemon sidekick, do you? Of course you don’t, silly.

Project Hail Mary hits U.S. theaters on Friday, March 20th.

FTM 812: THE RUNNING MAN (1987)

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Who loves Patrick and Doug and who do Patrick and Doug love?

Download this episode here.

Subscribe to F This Movie! on Apple Podcasts

Also discussed this episode: Monolith (2023), The Running Man (2025), Companion (2025), The Rip (2026), The Moment (2026), A Little Prayer (2025), One Way Passage (1932), The Last Video Store (2023)

Johnny Showtime: Oscars 2026

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by JB

I must say, I found the winners last Sunday night to be amazing and surprising...

...Amazing and surprising because I agreed so wholeheartedly with so many of them. I am on record here, constantly nit-picking and second-guessing, and have often suggested that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences usually gets these things wrong. This time they got it oh-so-right.

1. Both Conan’s Weapons-inspired opening montage and his monologue were spot on. It was the funniest opening in years. And because I personally found the running children in Weapons to be terrifying, I appreciated Conan poking fun at it so I can finally start sleeping at night.

2. At the beginning of the broadcast, I realized that a good deal of the night would essentially be Sinners vs. One Battle After Another. Because I thought both films were extraordinary, I settled in for an evening of pleasures.

3. I actually really liked the set design this year. It reminded me of our favorite Asian-inspired restaurant in North Hollywood.

4. Please note: I had a funny feeling that F1, which I did not see, and Frankenstein, which I did not like, would take home some “ancillary awards” like Sound, Editing, Costumes, and Make-Up. Thinking like an Academy voter, I reasoned that F1 had loud car races in it, which involve sound. Frankenstein had a monster in it, which involves make-up. Turns out, I was right.

5. The first actual award was not given out until 21 minutes into the broadcast. Uh-oh.

6. Zoe Saldana used the phrase “balls to the wall.” Another first in Oscar history, given that Mary Tyler Moore was not allowed to read the speech she had prepared in 1981.

7. Amy Madigan won Best Supporting Actress for Weapons, a horror film. Oscar famously hates horror films. Gee, could more people who actually deserve to win take home statues tonight? That would be GREAT.

8. K-Pop Demon Hunters won Best Animated film. The best film in the category won the award. Wait, is this a trend?

9. How odd that Kate Hawley won Best Costumes for Frankenstein and accepted the award wearing a borrowed raincoat and a hospital gown.

10. The censor missed Hawley’s swear word, dropping the audio just one second too late. You all heard what she said. This night was clearly going to be balls to the wall!

11. There was a tie amongst the Best Short Subject Award winners: Singers and Two People Exchanging Saliva both won Oscars. Both films are honestly excellent. Bravo.

12. Sean Penn won Best Supporting Actor for his overly showy roll in One Battle After Another. I would have preferred any of the other nominees. Could the Academy just love hateful, cartoonish villains—or, in our current political climate, could Academy voters just love a hateful, cartoonish villain who get humiliated and punished in nasty ways?

13. Conan did a comedy bit with Sterling K. Brown, spoofing Casablanca. Brown played what looked like Sam’s iconic piano from the film. The actual piano is part of the Academy’s collection; it’s on display in their museum. My wife and I theorized that Conan had the real prop sent over from the museum—it sure looked like it. That would be cool!

THIS JUST IN: AI informs me that it was NOT. “The piano featured in the Casablanca spoof with Conan O'Brien and Sterling K. Brown on the 2026 Oscar telecast was a replica, not the original 1942 film prop. The actual piano used in Casablanca is a rare 58-key cabaret-style piano, known for its distinct green and distressed yellow coloring.” Oh well. Still a fun bit!

14. Symbolizing the real competition of the evening, Ryan Coogler won Best Original Screenplay for Sinners; Paul Thomas Anderson won Best Adapted Screenplay for One Battle After Another. Coogler receives a standing ovation.

15. A lot of beloved movie people died this year. The “In Memoriam” montage was broken into two parts; Billy Crystal paid tribute to Rob Reiner at the beginning, Rachel McAdams waxed nostalgic about Diane Keaton halfway through, and Barbara Streisand eulogized Robert Redford at the end. The whole thing was very moving, especially when Babs started singing “The Way We Were.”

16. Sigourney Weaver presented... and did a funny bit with Kate Hudson and Grogu in the audience. Conan O’Brian points out that Grogu is incapable of clapping. But HE TRIED, dammit, and isn't that WHAT ART IS ALL ABOUT?!

17. Autumn Durald Arkapaw won Best Cinematography for Sinners and became the first woman to ever win that award... in 98 years. The first! A trailblazer.

18. Joachim Trier won Best International Film for Sentimental Value and pointed out that 1,792 people worked on the film. Sentimental Value received about NOK 32.9 million (that's more than $3 million) in grants and funding from the Norwegian Film Institute. It makes one wish that more countries would subsidize filmmaking as a nationalized jobs program; some countries prefer to gut federal spending on the arts. Go figure.

19. Trier identified himself as a “film nerd” and said, “I’m so happy to call the movies ‘home.’” This reminded me of a sentence from Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street, a book that I taught for many years. Cisneros wrote of creating “a home in the heart.” These two concepts quickly sent me down a rabbit hole, thinking about the home we have created together here at F This Movie—scores of people who all call the movies "home". And I thought about all of you readers and listeners, and all of our contributors to the site, and how we have created a home in the heart for each other: F This Movie Fest, Junesploitation, and Scary Movie Month are all just occasional, virtual family reunions.

20. It really was great night, was it not?

2K Replay: THE LAST KISS

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

by Adam Riske

Nominated for “Choice Movie: Chick Flick” at the Teen Choice Awards. It lost to The Holiday.

• Best Scene/Moment: The movie is mostly just sex scenes and arguing scenes, so I’ll say the sex scenes.

• Best Song: Way too many to choose from including “Chocolate” by Snow Patrol, “Today’s the Day” by Aimee Mann, and “Prophecy” by Remy Zero, but I’ll go with “Warning Sign” by Coldplay as my favorite.

• Best Merch: A “The Last Kiss Movie CD Press Kit…” for $17.99. I like this because it looks like evidence you gathered in your work as a private detective. Plus, you get a manilla folder and those always come in handy. I worked at Office Depot as a teen and there’s something about a new box of manilla file folders that makes you feel like you’re on the right track. O.D. Boy for life! Wait, that doesn’t sound right. That would be the wrong track.

• Director Grade: The Last Kiss was directed by Tony Goldwyn.
Great Movies: N/A
Good Movies: N/A
OK Movies: The Last Kiss
Bad Movies: N/A
Unseen By Me: A Walk on the Moon, Someone Like You, Conviction, Ezra
Overall Grade: B-

• Double It with This 2006 Movie: The Break-Up

• Year 2006 Movies to Trailer Before Them: A Good Year, The Holiday, The Lake House

• Ella McCay or The Last Kiss? Ella McCay
• Mall Movie? No. The success of Garden State and The Last Kiss being a romantic drama for adults would ensure it a spot at the fancy theater in town.

• Only in 2006 (tie): The “other woman” being played by the seemingly harmless Rachel Bilson and scenes where the parents of the woman who was cheated on are shockingly empathetic of the man who cheated on their daughter.

• Scene Stealer (tie): Jacinda Barrett and Michael Weston.

• I Miss: Tom Wilkinson.

• I Don’t Miss: Zach Braff romantic dramedies where he’s the worst but we’re put in the position where we’re supposed to side with him because he’s the protagonist.

• 2006 Crush (tie): Cindy Sampson and Marley Shelton.

• 2026 Crush (tie): Jacinda Barrett and Lauren Lee Smith.

• What I Thought in 2006: I remember liking The Last Kiss at least as much as I used to like Garden State (which I don’t anymore). I was a more susceptible young male viewer back in 2006, so I was like “we’re men and these are our stories about love.” I also remember loving the soundtrack and feeling like Zach Braff secretly made this instead of Tony Goldwyn (kind of a Kevin Costner/Kevin Reynolds situation) although I have no proof that happened and it’s solely a gut feeling.

• What I Think in 2026: I’m of two minds on The Last Kiss. On one hand, it’s cringy and hasn’t aged well in the past 20 years. You could say it’s being “honest” about male behavior of a certain age, but the movie also finds certain things permissible that it probably shouldn’t. On the other hand, it’s certainly watchable and the soundtrack kicks ass.

Weekend Open Thread

fthismoviepodcast@gmail.com (fthismovie.com) — Sat, 14 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0500