Fumbling Toward Family

Wordless Wednesday ~ Decorating Fall Cookies

2011-10-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

The Helper

The Watcher

The Result

We Have Baby Steps!

2011-10-13T20:23:00.004-05:00

So many things have happened with the kiddos since my last post that I can't even begin to figure out how to catch up.

In fact, I'm not even going to try.

Instead... let's just celebrate...

BABY STEPS!

Caught on Camera

2011-07-20T22:07:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, even when a picture doesn't come out perfectly sharp and in focus, you capture a moment that speaks volumes.

Like when I snapped this picture:

Rowan had just said he'd love to try a ride at the amusement park. Brave boy!

As he inched his way up on the ride, he even had a smile on his face.

Then the "exciting" part of the ride began. A brief free-fall from the top of the ride! Fun, right?

Kyle sure thinks it's fun.

But Rowan?

Not so much.

Not at all, really.

But don't feel too sorry for him. To make up for his less-than-stellar ride experience, we took him to the splash park.

Where he smiled plenty.

Yes, We Still Have a Baby

2011-07-17T22:55:00.006-05:00

And here's a peek into what our family's littlest member was up to over the past few months...

Here's Miles at 4 months old. This month brought Miles' first weeks of daycare... and he has had a runny nose ever since. Not surprisingly, this also was the month that brought an end to my regular blogging. The constant stream of illnesses (mine, Miles' and Rowan's) was more than I could take. Thankfully, winter did finally end, and we all become well again... sometime around early July.

Here's Miles at 5 months old. Miles continued to have illnesses on and off this month, and I was struck by a bug as well. This month was honestly a bit of a blur. What I do remember is that Miles continued to be outrageously cute, and I was a good enough mom to capture his cuteness on film at a Target Portrait Studios. (Yes, this is a picture of a picture.)

Here's Miles at 6 months old. Let the army crawling begin! Miles also began to sit up somewhat unassisted during this month, although he remained rather wobbly until he reached 7 months old. Da da da da da was (and is) his favorite sound to make, much to my dismay. A doctor appointment around this time revealed that Miles weighed 19 pounds!

Miles at 7 months old. Sitting up is no problem! Miles also started to go from crawling back to sitting again as he neared 8 months old. He loves screaming matches, saying da da da da (still!) and being around other people at all times.

Ahhhhh. (That was a sigh of relief.) Now that you know what's been happening with our little guy, I can write an update about what he's doing now at 8 months old.

Wordless Wednesday ~ A Trip to the Zoo

2011-05-18T05:00:00.001-05:00

Definitely Brothers

2011-05-16T08:56:00.001-05:00

Rowan, about 6 months old

Miles, about 6 months old

Say Cheese! Please?

2011-05-13T15:38:00.007-05:00

Taking...

pictures...

of boys...

is hard.

That is all.

The Thing About the Second Child

2011-05-11T20:46:00.000-05:00

Some people say it's because you're busier.

Some people say it's because you have another child distracting you.

Some people even say it's because things just aren't as new and exciting the second time around.

But why do I think parents spend less time documenting their second child's every milestone?

I think it's because they spend more time simply enjoying them. (Or at least that's what I tell myself when I fall so darn behind in my blogging.)

When Rowan was a baby, I was obsessed with milestones. I had a stack of parenting books on my bedside table. I received daily email alerts from baby websites. I even frequented online parenting groups where women obsessed about their babies' sleeping, eating and pooping habits.

This time around, we're taking it easy.

So maybe I "forgot" that you're supposed to wait three days between introducing each new food to a baby... and instead I gave him ground up (homemade!) beef stew for his first meal, because that's what I was eating for dinner.

And maybe I wanted to see how he would react to a little taste of my ice cream, even though babies aren't supposed to have dairy (or sugar) quite this early.

And maybe when he liked the ice cream, I gave him a little more... because he squealed with each tiny bite.

Is that so wrong?

I think not.

After all, rules and milestones are great, but sometimes a little fun and flexibility is even better.

Postpartum Shape-Up: An Update

2011-03-21T19:40:00.004-05:00

Why, hello there! Remember me? The girl that was trying to get in shape?

Well I am still trying to do that, but Illness and a lack of sleep have stalled my plan. No worries, though. I haven't gained the weight back or anything. I might even be down a pound or so.

Still, I have nothing interesting to report about my progress this week. So instead, I leave you with another adorable picture of my baby sticking out his tongue.

You're welcome. ;)

(Not So) Wordless Wednesday: A New Toy!

2011-03-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

Why is our little guy so happy?

Because he has a brand new toy, that's why! Unfortunately, procuring the toy proved a bit more difficult than stopping by the nearest Target.

You see, a couple of weeks ago, we took Mister Miles to an ear nose and throat doctor to have a frenotomy — a procedure in which the frenulum (that bit of tissue that attaches the tongue to the floor of the mouth) is cut. Before the procedure, Miles' frenulum extended all the way to the tip of his tongue. As a result, he couldn't stick his tongue out. At all.

In the past, midwives and doctors routinely fixed "tongue tie" at birth. The current trend, however, is to wait and see if a child eventually experiences problems eating or speaking. Although Miles had no trouble getting nourishment (he weighed in at 16.5 pounds at 4 months), it bothered me that we were waiting to see if he might have speech problems as a toddler. Fixing a tight frenulum in a baby involves a simple snip snip. Fixing it in a toddler involves general anesthesia.

And even if he never developed a speech or dental issue, shouldn't a little boy be able to lick an ice cream cone? Or stick his tongue out at his older brother?

So we got it fixed. Was it hard to watch? Yes. Did he cry? Yes. Did I start sweating, turn completely pale and nearly pass out? Yes.

But I'm so glad we had it done. In no time, he had forgotten about the pain and was playing happily with his new toy.

See for yourself:

Wordless Wednesday: An Old Fashioned Toy

2011-03-09T06:00:00.000-06:00

Who needs rattles, teethers and electronic gizmos when you have feet?

Four Generations

2011-03-07T06:07:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, on Kyle's birthday, Kyle's Grandpa Obert passed away at age 91.

Whenever I saw him, he made a point to grab my arm and tell me that I had a really nice boy (and now boys). Of course I agreed with his assessment. And I always felt that he, having raised four boys himself, was exceptionally qualified to make such a judgement. A compliment from him surely meant twice as much.

We will miss him!

Wordless Wednesday: Instant Classic Girl/Boy Photos

2011-03-02T06:00:00.003-06:00

It seems that girls are born knowing how to pose for the camera — to tilt their heads just so, look directly into the lense and smile sweetly.

And boys... well, they are boys.

Postpartum Shape-Up Week 6: Re-engaging After Illness

2011-02-28T08:14:00.004-06:00

Just a quick post this week about my postpartum shape-up efforts. Miles, Kyle and I were hit with a nasty cold last week, so my Couch to 5K plan was put on temporary hold. I start week 4 today, though, and am also renewing my commitment to the No S Diet.

After losing 10 pounds last month, I have no intention of quitting now. Perhaps I can be back to my prepregnancy weight by spring! Wouldn't that be nice?

Current Weight (taken morning of 2/28/11):

145.2

Postpartum Shape-Up Weeks 4 & 5: "Before" and "In Progress" Photos

2011-02-21T06:53:00.003-06:00

A month into my postpartum weightloss adventure, and I am officially down 10 pounds! My clothes are fitting better, and I’ve even zipped up a couple of pairs of pre-pregnancy jeans. Things are going so well that I'm even feeling brave enough to show some "before" and "in progress" shots:

The photo on the left was taken on January 16, the night before I began my own twist on the No S Diet. I was about 10.5 weeks postpartum, and I weighed 156 pounds. The photo on the right was taken just yesterday on February 20. As of this morning, I weigh 145.6 pounds.

Although it's easy to see that my overall shape has changed for the better, what really surprised me was the difference in my face. Those cheeks are looking less chubby, indeed!

Seeing these photos has given me a renewed sense of motivation. I've been a bit lax on the eating front this past week, due to Valentine's Day and two celebrations for my dad's birthday. I also missed my scheduled Couch to 5K workout yesterday due to a cold/flu bug and a mega February snow storm.

I ate well yesterday, though, and will be back at the gym as soon as I'm feeling better. The question is... do I move on to week four of Couch to 5K, do I complete one more week three workout and then move on, or do I start week three over again entirely? Hmmm. (Thoughts?)

Although I feel energized by the progress I’ve made, I can’t say that the last month has been easy. Why? Well, the truth is that if you want to maintain a healthy weight, eat great food and be physically fit, you pretty much have to do the exact opposite of what most people do… most of the time. And that is hard.

Most people are overweight. Most people eat poorly. And most people are inactive. I say these things not to judge "most people", but to underscore just how hard it is to make a change.

For the past month, I've had to say "no, thank you" to the near-daily office treats, the restaurant lunches, the moms night out appetizers, and the post-kiddo-bedtime sweets that have tempted me. And I can't tell you how many times I've succeeded in saying no to the aforementioned diet traps only to hear a well-meaning friend, colleague or loved one (or voice in MY OWN HEAD) say to me, "But it's a special occasion!" or "Everything in moderation!" or "You don't even need to lose weight!"

But is it really moderation when every other day is a "special" occasion? And just because you're thinner than a lot of other people, does it really mean that you shouldn't attempt to lose excess weight?

Like I said, it's hard. We are not a country — a culture — that does moderation very well. In fact, our sense of normal has become so skewed that I'm not sure we don't even know what moderation means.

So although I'm no diet or fitness expert, I can say with certainty that if you want to be healthy, you must be prepared to swim upstream. But hey, that has to burn extra calories, right?

Current Weight (taken morning of 2/21/11):

145.6

Four Ways in Which My Boys Are Unlike Me

2011-02-20T13:54:00.006-06:00

1. They prefer to remain naked for as long as possible after a bath.

2. They consider an "all pink" dinner on Valentine's Day to be a punishment instead of an extra special treat.

3. They look adorable even when making the sourest of expressions.

4. They believe that a predicted snowfall of 15-20 inches in February is cause for celebration.

My Littlest Valentines

2011-02-14T19:00:00.002-06:00

Seems wrong to do a diet and exercise update on Valentine's Day. So instead, I give you a sweet pic of my littlest Valentines. (Yep, these really are the best Valentine's Day outfits I could come up with.)

Postpartum Shape-Up Week 3: Making It Work in Real Life

2011-02-07T21:25:00.004-06:00

Not much weight loss to speak of this week. I was down a mere 4 oz, which is really nothing at all if you consider that your weight can swing by a couple of pounds during the course of a single day.

I'm not discouraged, though. I've lost about 8 pounds in three weeks. Not too shabby! I'm guessing that the rate of change will be much slower from now on. And really, weight loss isn't my only objective here.

This past week went fairly well. My biggest challenge was sticking to my goals in social and work situations. Although I always followed the principles of the No S Diet (no sweets, no snacks, no seconds), I couldn't always stick to my modifications to it (lowish carb, natural foods).

On Monday, I had enjoyed a fun night out with some girlfriends. We ate at Salut, and I think I did fairly well ordering a lowish carb, moderate meal (beef skewers over a bed of wilted greens and some kind of beans).

Later in the week, I had a training session for work. I didn't fare as well there, but I did my best. We had boxed lunches with sandwiches, chips, a cookie and some carrots. I had a cranberry chicken salad sandwich on a crossoint (tasty, but definitely not something I would have made as a healthy lunch at home), the carrots, just a few of the chips and a bit of the cookie.

Finally, I attended a big family gathering on Saturday that included food, Food, FOOD! Although it certainly counted as a special day within the framework of the No S Diet, I kept my consumption fairly moderate. I had some of my Grandma Adeline's delicious Swedish meatballs, some broccoli salad, and some fruit. I skipped the desserts entirely, because Rowan ended up developing a fever and a sore throat before I even had a chance to check out the selections. (He's doing much better now!)

Overall, I think I did a decent job of sticking to my healthy eating goals.

In addition to eating well, I also began Cool Running's Couch to 5K training program last week. I did the program in 2009 and was amazed that I could actually RUN three miles at the end of it. I didn't exactly keep up the habit, though. And honestly, I might not stick with running this time around either. I'm doing the program mainly to get my heart and lungs conditioned for exercise. At the end of it, my goal is simply to continue exercising. Period.

Next week, I'll share some thoughts I've been stewing on about trying to get healthy in what has become a pretty unhealthy world...

Current Weight (taken morning of 2/07/11):

147.8

My Boys at Thirteen Weeks

2011-02-04T15:28:00.000-06:00

Rowan, 13 Weeks

Miles, 13 Weeks

People often focus on how different Miles and Rowan look, but I see a lot of similarities in their faces here. Shave Miles' head and add a little heft to Rowan, and you might have two boys who look quite a bit alike.

Miles continues to be such a sweet baby. Talk to him happily, and you're sure to get a smile and a coo. He's becoming more skilled at grasping things and now attempts to bring things to his mouth. Oh, and the drooling has begun! Will a tooth soon be on the way?

Postpartum Shape-Up Week 2: My First Sweet in Two Weeks

2011-01-31T14:58:00.003-06:00

It. Is. Working!

I've lost another pound of baby weight this week thanks to my own little spin on the No S Diet. Sure, the results aren't as dramatic as they were in week 1, but I couldn't really expect to continue losing 6 pounds per week. (Although that would be nice!) Losing about 1 pound per week is what most experts (whoever they are) say is realistic and healthy.

The biggest challenge in changing my eating habits has been taking the time to shop/prep/cook in a way that supports my goals. Eating healthy takes time. Lots of time. Especially if - like me - you're not a Lean Cuisine kind of girl. Here's what works for me:

Pre-chopping veggies. For my salads, I buy two heads of organic romain each week at the co-op. I chop one head right away, rinse it, run it through the salad spinner and then keep it in a Tupperware bowl. That lasts me about half the week, and then I do the same thing with the second head. (Or you can spend more money and buy bagged lettuce.)
Prepping the night before. I mix up my scrambled egg mixture (eggs, a little cream, goat cheese, a little water and salt) in the evening for breakfast the next morning. Maybe that seems silly, but I need every minute I can get in the morning. I also put lunch items for the next day (usually yogurt with mix-ins, some kind of protein, and whole grain crackers) into individual-sized containers.
Making my own convenience foods. For example, I flatten chicken breasts and then freeze them in various marinades. Then it's easy to thaw them out quickly for a meal. I also sometimes roast a chicken on the weekend and then take all of the meat off the bird for various uses during the week. (Bags of the pulled chicken also freeze just fine for soups, etc.)

So far, I've been able to avoid junk-food eating simply by being prepared. In the past, this was my biggest weakness. (It's easy soooo to call Jimmy Johns when you don't pack a lunch for work.)

After two weeks of being pretty strict with myself, I enjoyed my first sweet this past weekend: a slice of Cafe Latte's famous turtle cake. It was delicious! I enjoyed every bite!

From what I understand (keep in mind I only recently discovered that I was following an actual diet) that's the whole point behind the No S Diet. You overcome gluttony and put sweets/snacks/seconds back into the position of being a rare treat. And rare treats supposedly taste better.

In my experience so far, this is true. Enjoying a truly delicious piece of cake on Sunday night with your hubby is WAY more enjoyable than eating a handful of packaged cookies at work just because they're there.

This week, I'm adding some exercise into the mix. I began Cool Running's Couch to 5K program today. More on that next week...

Current Weight (taken morning of 1/31/11):

148.2

Observations on My Third Day Back at Work

2011-01-26T14:11:00.006-06:00

Monday was the most depressing day of the year.

I'm serious. It was actually declared the most depressing day of the year. Like by experts who study that stuff. Or possibly by marketers behind an elaborate ad campaign. Either way, who can argue with the fact that late January is pretty darn depressing?

So on Monday - the most depressing day of the year - I started back to work after a 12-week maternity leave. Yeah.

Now the number one question everyone asks me is how it feels to be back. And I don't know what to say. Some things about it feel great. Others, not so much. Here are my observations so far:

Wearing decent clothes and having styled hair and a made-up face feels nice.
Wrestling clothing on a baby, carrying around bucket seat and rushing around in a winter parka causes me to sweat in my decent clothes, makes my hair look frizzy and gives my make-up and unintended dewy look.
Sitting down with a cup of tea and time to focus on a complex project feels nice.
Working a 4-hour day filled with meetings, pumping, and a few other random tasks means that I'm on my way back out the door before I even know what happened.
Talking to other adults about things that matter to adults feels nice.
Missing out on all of the social aspects of work (lunches, breaks) makes work a whole lot less fun.

Based on these observations, I might (with my employer's blessing) consider altering my schedule. Currently, I work five half-days per week. Originally, I thought that this schedule would be good because it provides consistency and means relatively short daycare days for Miles. However, it also means that I basically have all of the hassles (commuting, drop-off, pumping, etc.) of a full-time job.

So I might (again with my employer's blessing), return to a three-day schedule. I would put Miles in daycare two days per week and then split an additional day with Kyle. (Rowan would continue to attend pre-k every day.) The revised schedule would mean that I would only have to pack Miles up and bring him to daycare two days per week. It also would mean that, when I am at work, I would have more time to focus on my projects. Think depth instead of breadth.

We'll see. I should at least give my current schedule a week, huh? ;)

Postpartum Shape-Up Week 1: I Guess I Am Following a Real Diet

2011-01-23T19:24:00.008-06:00

Last week, I set some basic goals to help me on my way to a healthier and less smooshy post-baby body. I cut out the snacking and sweets and focused instead on eating three square meals of healthy food.

Sounds pretty pretty simple, right? Almost like common sense, right?

Well, I've recently discovered that some clever person has actually trademarked a diet program that advocates almost exactly what I'm doing. It's called the "No S Diet." There are just three simple rules, and one exception:

No Snacks
No Sweets
No Seconds
EXCEPT (Sometimes) on days that start with S (Saturday, Sunday and Special days)

I've basically been following this exact diet for the past week. My plan has a couple of extra S's, though (chalk it up to newbie eagerness):

No Simple Starches (white potatoes, white rice, white flour, etc.)
No Sh%$ (crappy, processed foods)

I also didn't break from the plan on the weekend, even though that's allowed on the official No S Diet. For now, I'm trying to save the sugar, seconds and snacks for special treats and occasions when I'll really enjoy them. I can't say that I'll continue to be as disciplined as I've been so far, but I really needed a good first week to keep me motivated. Here's an example of what I've been eating (Sunday's log):

Breakfast: Two eggs scrambled with goat cheese, lettuce salad with olive oil and vinegar, plain whole milk yogurt mixed with diced grapefruit and apples, coffee with cream
Lunch: Bowl of homemade beef stew, lettuce salad with olive oil and vinegar, Wasa crispbread topped with butter, whole milk yogurt mixed with blueberries and dried mango
Dinner: Marinated chicken breast, half a cooked sweet potato topped with butter, lettuce salad with oil and vinegar dressing, whole milk yogurt mixed with diced grapefruit and apples

Most days were a variation on this theme. Sometimes the salad had some cheese on it. Sometimes I crumbled up some Wasa crispbread "croutons" on top. You get the idea.

So far, so good. I feel motivated and, surprisingly, I'm not starving between meals. I think I had conditioned myself to think that snacks (and several spoonfulls of peanutbutter with chocolate chips) were a necessary part of my day. But I'm finding that if I eat a balanced meal with foods that have staying power (i.e., not low fat or high sugar foods), I can hold off until my next meal without a problem.

This week, my goal is simply to stay on track with my new eating habits despite the fact that I'm starting back at work part-time. (I'll let you know how it goes...) If I can make it successfully through the emotional week ahead, then I'll think about adding in some exercise. Maybe. ;)

Current Weight (taken morning of 1/24/11):

149.2!

It's hard for me to believe that I actually lost more than six pounds this week... Is that really possible?!

Wherein I Reveal My Weight... And My Plans to Change It

2011-01-18T16:46:00.007-06:00

During my teens, I weighed around 115 pounds.

During my early to mid twenties, I weighed around 125 pounds. (To my embarrassment, my driver's license still says I weigh 125 pounds!)

When I was pregnant with Rowan, I gained about 40 pounds and — when he was about 1 year old — landed at around 135 pounds and stayed there.

Today, 11 weeks after another pregnancy in which I gained about 45 pounds, I now (as of Monday morning) sit at 156 pounds. That puts my BMI at 25.2 — just into "overweight" territory.

Although I would expect to lose more of my baby weight simply by nursing (and by not being pregnant), I'm ready to take more decisive action. A few recent events pushed me in that direction:

Assembling my postpartum work wardrobe. Although I'll only be working part-time, my 5-day-a-week schedule means that I still need a full-time wardrobe... that fits. Ugh. Let's just say that shopping for clothing this week has been frustrating. I will be wearing a lot of gray, black and cardigans for the rest of this winter.

Realizing that my current trajectory predicts that I'll gain about 10 pounds per decade. In fact, I discovered that this is exactly what most people do as they age. For the sake of my long-term health, I don't want that to happen.

Finding out that my blood pressure is still a little elevated. (It rose during the latter half of my pregnancy.) I'm sure that my extra baby weight and less-than-stellar holiday eating habits have a lot to do with this.

Seeing myself in the mirror. Simply put, I don't feel like myself. And although I don't expect to ever again look like I did pre-kids, I know that my current weight/shape isn't right for me. It feels like I'm wearing a shirt that's too bulky, but that I can't change it because the shirt is... uh... me.

So what do I plan to do? Well, I'm a firm believer making big changes by changing small daily habits. This week, I'm focusing on my eating habits. Here are my goals for the week:

Significantly reduce simple carbs/sweets. I'm not following South Beach or Atkins or any other strict low-carb plan, but I am doing my best to avoid simple sugars and starches. Instead, I'm filling my belly with protein (eggs, fish, meat), vegetables (salads, broccoli, greens), quality dairy products (natural plain yogurt, good quality cheeses) and fruits (apples, citrus, etc.). I'm also eating some whole grains and beans. My focus will be on delicious foods that make me feel good and help me make plenty of good milk for my babe.

Find alternatives to "I deserve it" snacking. By the time I get Miles down for a nap or put Rowan and Miles to bed at night, I'm overcome by a desire to relax with a sugary treat or salty snack... or two. Over the holidays, those treats and snacks might have included Christmas cookies, candy, snack mix, chocolate chips, etc., etc. Now that the holidays are over, it's time to reward myself with things that are good for me. Like a cup of tea and a movie with the hubby!

Keep a food jounal. Experts say that people are more successful in changing their habits when they keep track of what they're eating. No more mindless eating!

So, there you have it. My goals for this week. I actually started on Monday, but didn't have the courage to make this public until today. I'm hoping that the accountability will help me reach my goal faster.

What is my goal, exactly? Honestly, I'm not interested in setting a specific weight-loss target at this point. Right now, I'm focusing on the habits. I hope that results will follow.

I'll share my new goals each week — on Mondays, I think — and let you know how the previous week went.

Here goes...

Nine and Ten Weeks Old

2011-01-16T23:04:00.002-06:00

What Miles was up to between 8 and 10 weeks old:

Rolling over: At just over 8 weeks old, Miles rolled over from his tummy to his back for the first time. I can't really say that it was intentional, though. That big head of his tips him right over!
Finding his fists and fingers: The boy can stare at his hands, transfixed, for... well, just for minutes. (He does have a baby's attention span, after all.) He's also begun to reach out and grasp at things with his fingers.
Cooing like crazy: More sounds and gurgles every day!
Growing...a lot: At his 2-month visit, he weighed 14 pounds, 4 oz. He was 23.75 inches long. And his head measured 16.5 inches around.
Looking adorable: His little arms, legs and cheeks seem to be getting more and more chubby by the minute! (I plan to make the opposite happen to myself very VERY soon.)

My Boys at Eight Weeks

2011-01-01T16:00:00.005-06:00

Rowan, Eight Weeks

Miles, Eight Weeks

(It's subtle, but you can definitely see that Miles takes up more space in the bouncy seat.)

In addition to the comparison shots, I am still taking weekly pictures of Miles with his little signs. We've had a great couple of weeks! He's smiling, cooing and napping like a champ. (He got a swing for Christmas! Hmmm... Was it a present for me or for him?)

Rowan is enjoying his brother more now that he's become more interactive. Today, when I told him to give his brother some space, he said, "But I can't stay away from him because he's sooooooo sweet!"

Hard to argue with that, isn't it?