Jokes

Lifesaving Pig

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 17:02:00 +0000

A farmer was in the pub bragging about his pig. "That animal saved my life twice" he said: "Once I fell into the river and he jumped in and dragged me to the bank. Another time my house caught on fire and he ran in and saved me, the wife and kids."

The farmer passes around a picture of the miraculous animal. One of the guys notices the pig is missing a leg. "Which accident did the pig lose its leg in?" he asks.

"Neither,” the man responds: “An animal like that you don't eat all at once".

Funny Failbook Picture

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 02:52:00 +0000

An Old Lady's Wish

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 02:42:00 +0000

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.

"Well, now," says the old lady: "I guess I would like to be really, really rich." As soon as she said it, there was a POOF! and her rocking chair turns to solid gold.

She smiles and says: "Gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." So POOF! she turns into a beautiful young woman.

"Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh... can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. So POOF! There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.

She stares at him, smitten. He saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered!"

Little White Lie

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:04:00 +0000

Ted, a wealthy 70-year-old widower, shows up at a bar with a stunning 25-year-old blonde on his arm. The woman has the body of a model, has her arms endearingly locked around Ted’s torso and focuses intently on every syllable he utters.

Naturally, his friends at the bar are stunned. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask: "Ted, come on, where'd you get such a beautiful babe for a girlfriend?"

Ted replies: "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

Now they're completely knocked over. They continue their questioning: "Alright, how'd you get her to marry you?"

"Well, I lied about my age," Ted admits.

"How old did you say you were? 50?"

Ted smiles and says, "Nope! I told her I was 95!”

Little Johnny

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 15:57:00 +0000

Little Johnny walks past his parents' room one night and sees them making love. Puzzled, he asks his father about it the next morning.

"Why were you doing that to Mommy last night?" he asks.

His father replies: "Because Mommy wants a baby."

The next night, Johnny spots Mommy giving Daddy a blowjob, and the next morning he asks his father: "Why was Mommy doing that to you last night?"

His father replies: "Because Mommy wants a Porsche."

Terms of Endearment

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:32:00 +0000

A man was invited to a friend's home for dinner, where he noticed that his friend preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her “honey,” “darling,” “sweetheart,” and “pumpkin,” among others. He was impressed at this, since the couple had been married for over 50 years.

While the wife was in the kitchen, he said: "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call your wife those pet names."

His friend shrugged, lowered his voice and said: "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name 10 years ago.

Mr.Bean is IP Man

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Tue, 04 May 2010 16:43:00 +0000

Motivation Fail Picture

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Mon, 03 May 2010 20:45:00 +0000

Fail Yahoo Answers

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Mon, 03 May 2010 17:05:00 +0000

Yahoo Answer Totally FAIL !!

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Mon, 03 May 2010 16:39:00 +0000

Iron + IP Man 2

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 05:56:00 +0000

Super Funny

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 03:17:00 +0000

Country Style

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 05:07:00 +0000

A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. As he's retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him. After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter "country style."

"What's country style?" asks the city boy.

"Out here in the country," the farmer says: "when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the balls as hard as he can. Then that feller, why, he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin' wins the dispute."

Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer hauls off and kicks him in the groin with all his might. The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he's ever felt, crying like a baby and rolling around on the ground. Finally he staggers to his feet and says: "All right, n-now it's–it's m-my turn."

The farmer grins: "Forget it, you win. Keep the duck."

The Unhappy Man

noreply@blogger.com (Joke) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 05:04:00 +0000

A man lost both of his arms in a car accident. When he recovered in the hospital, he found that he was useless and decided to commit suicide by jumping out of a 10th-story window. As he looked down from the window, he saw a man with no arms just like him dancing wildly and happily on the street. He decided to find out what made this man so happy.

Arriving on the street, he asked, "Hey, brother, stop dancing for a minute and tell what your secret is that you are so happy."

The dancing man responded, "What do you mean, happy? Hell no! I feel itchy like hell in my ass, but I can't reach it."

Sardar Picture

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 06:46:00 +0000

Funny facebook fanpage

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 04:44:00 +0000

Group Therapy

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:29:00 +0000

Asian Top Gear

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:12:00 +0000

Epic Fail

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 07:18:00 +0000

Peanuts

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 07:12:00 +0000

A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother: "Thanks for the peanuts."

"My pleasure," she says: "since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em."

Facebook Fail Message

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 14:36:00 +0000

African Safari

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 10:14:00 +0000

A big game hunter goes on an African safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both set off to find the old woman. Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!

"Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically: "Do something!"

"Oh, no," the husband says: "That lion got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out!"

Fail-Book (Facebook Fail)

noreply@blogger.com (NaDou) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 17:01:00 +0000

Password

noreply@blogger.com (Joke) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 13:30:00 +0000

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the
process, told him that he would now need to enter a password.. Something he will use to
log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to
bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he
made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in
P...

E...

N...

I...

S.
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

Guy break priceless relic

noreply@blogger.com (Joke) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 07:22:00 +0000