You’re going to forward it? I know you are!

She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down…. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device… a vibrator!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. ‘You impotent bastard,’ She screamed at him, ‘How could you be lying to me
all of these years? You better explain yourself!’

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: ‘I’ll explain the toy , you explain the kids.’

Submitted by James

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. What’s wrong, Bill?’ she asked.
‘Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my
penis into the pickle slicer?’ ‘Oh, Bill, you didn’t’ she exclaimed.
‘Yes, I did.’ he replied.My God, Bill, what happened?’
‘I got fired.’ ‘No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?’ ‘Oh..she got fired too.

Post your funny

They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection.

The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can’t bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it.
The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.

When he’s done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.

An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, ‘Are you hurt?’

‘AM I HURT?’ he shouts;

‘Wouldn’t you be?………….he hasn’t called….he hasn’t written….’

Anyone know any funny jokes. We’d love to hear them. E-mail lol@funn.ie and we’ll post the best ones

John

Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife’s shoulder and asks, “Honey, please… just one more time before I die.” She says, “Of course, Dear,” and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep. Morris, however, worried about his impending passing, tosses and turns, until he’s down to 4 more hours.

He taps his wife, who rouses. “Honey, I have only 4 more hours.Do you think we could…”

At this point the wife sits up and says, “Would you ever give me a break
and fuck Off,

I have to get up in the morning… you don’t.”