Crime doesn’t pay — but it can be absolutely hilarious. Getting away with the perfect crime might seem like an accomplishment, but more often than not, attempting to rob, assault or otherwise engage in felonious activity will put a stain on your rap sheet forever. But if you’re really lucky, you’ll botch the crime so badly that people everywhere will read about your attempt and think, “Wow, what a stupid criminal.” Here are 11 of the most glorious criminal failures of the last few years. Vote for the stupidest! Read More…

It wasn’t a silent night.

A Georgia man preparing for the Christmas season spent a night in jail after he was arrested for shooting at mistletoe outside a Decatur shopping mall.

William E. Robinson, 66, was charged with reckless conduct and discharging a firearm on someone else’s property after he opened fire on a tree that held a sprig of the plant, which is commonly used as a Christmas decoration.

Robinson told CBS Atlanta that he was merely following a holiday tradition when he used his double-barrel 12-gauge shotgun to knock the plant out of a tree outside the North DeKalb Mall. Read More…

A supercharged mobility scooter has been seized by Doncaster council officers after being driven at speeds of up to 60mph, scaring wild deer and annoying residents in the area.

Converted to be driven by a supercharged 140cc petrol engine, the mobility scooter was described as a ‘feat of engineering’ by Cynthia Ransome, Doncaster council’s communities officer. As well as the engine, it had been ‘pimped’ with go-kart wheels and a large exhaust. Read More…

CLERMONT, Fla. (CBS Tampa) – A Florida inmate is suing the state’s prison system for pulling the pork from his meals.

Eric Harris, a 32-year-old convicted pedophile who is serving a life sentence, suggests Lake Correctional Institution’s policy of serving a vegan diet is seriously affecting the quality of his life sentence.

The Weston A. Price Foundation, a special interest group against soy products, will pick up the case’s legal expenses, and announced it has class-action ambitions including other prisoners, prison guards and taxpayers. Read More…

Funny News Channel

LAKE HELEN, Fla., Dec. 7 (UPI) — Several Florida grandmothers shed their clothing for a calendar being sold to raise money for a new kitchen at their local American Legion Post.

The Lake Helen women, ages 44-87, said the bake sales they held to raise remodeling money for the American Legion Post 127 kitchen failed to raise more than a few hundred dollars at the time, so they took a suggestion from Lake Helen City Observer newsletter editor Pat Chadwick and bared some skin for the calendar with an aim of raising thousands, The Dayton Beach (Fla.) News-Journal reported Wednesday. Read More….

The FDA has approved a new “hangover cure” product that could be available on U.S. store shelves as early as next month. The “Alka-Seltzer like tablet” is not an actual new ingredient, but rather a potent combination of caffeine, aspirin and an antacid. ABC News reports that the product, called “Blowfish,” is already available at the Ricky’s pharmaceutical chain in New York City and is scheduled to be introduced nationally in January. Read More..

ANCHORAGE —

A 52-year-old man who became stranded in his pickup truck in a snowdrift in Alaska and below-zero temperatures survived nearly three days by eating frozen beer out of cans as if it were beans, the Anchorage Daily News reported Tuesday.

The man, Clifton Vial of Nome, drove out into the wilderness north of Nome in his pickup truck earlier this month, but got stuck in a snowdrift at one point.  He was wearing only tennis shoes, jeans and a $30 jacket, so he didn’t dare go outside to try to dig his truck out. Read More…

Father-of-three Titus Ncube of Bulawayo said he called for a prostitute to come to the hotel room in which he was staying while having marital problems and was shocked when his 20-year-old daughter arrived, the British tabloid the Mirror reported Friday.

Ncube said he collapsed to floor upon recognizing his daughter, who quickly fled, crying.

“I am sorry for what I did,” Ncube said. “I spoke to my wife and daughter. Read More..