Degrees of Freedom

Kumogi, are you still there?

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 09:04:00 +0000

"Hai, Hai? What is it?"

Tears

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 15:31:00 +0000

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" they say...

tears... showers of sadness take over me

it hurts so much

walk on

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 10:23:00 +0000

I’m too tired, I have not been this stressed or deeply sad before. I don’t know if you will know what I mean by being sad. But I’m beyond being disappointed, and I know for a matter of fact, it will not be any easier, there are sad facts in this universe & I have to accept that it is the way it is.

There is nothing harder than accepting what you can’t understand and trying to reason what’s beyond the capacity of comprehension.

written on March 2nd, 2012

spin

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 20:41:00 +0000

In my world, There is an open loop, between unwashed clothes' basket and unfolded clean clothes, everything seems outside the closet, I made it a point this weekend that everything is getting washed and folded and in the closet, ready for next week.

no maid, not even part time.

I did my first spin class, I survived it! It wasn't easy, my face remained red for the following hour, mom thought I was wrestling bulls, I want to remember this day, I really laughed at myself, I was looking at my reflection on the glass, I was struggling to paddle while standing on the bike on my second attempt, never done that before (first shout, I stayed on the saddle) ;" we are a team, use the energy from the people around you, no one leaves the class except if they will pass out, puke, or r too thursty, think outside the box"

best part is the 2 minutes after you finish the workout right before stretching begins, lying flat on the floor, in my head, " its over, and it feels good"
.
exhale.

Yearning

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 00:02:00 +0000

Yearning for your shoulder, for your smell, for your eyes, I really miss you.

Fragmented

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 22:38:00 +0000

I hardly could press publish on any post lately, because when I start writing, it goes as if I'm sorting out my thoughts and end up writing something with you reading it in mind and I just don't feel at home.. I used to write freely, I feel very kicked out from my own self, space and being, I can see me thinking, writing, living while I'm not.. I'm not there.. It's been a while. ******* I can't accept pain for people I know in person, it's torture for me, while they are like all other beings who will get sick and go through aging, my brain just can't cope with it. I don't accept it and I don't accept losing a loved one. ******* I have a lot of insecurities & fears, who doesnt? I know for a fact that I can be any opposite/ elevated version of me if I want to. whichever way I tread, I will grow. progress is inevitable, but know that your fears can grow too, it can encircle you, and stop you from being so many things you have the core for. a little courage. Just some courage. ******* when visiting the sick, support bringing salty treats, fruit basket instead of Arabic desserts ******* I'm too tired & I want to sleep ******* I love you dad, I love you mom, I love u sister ******** night ☆彡

random post

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 22:33:00 +0000

I have butterflies in my tummy, it's 2 am and I can't sleep, I have a meeting at 8 tomo that I hope goes well, half of my team r out of the country and though I'm a bit worried which is very much how I cope while constantly thinking of all possibilities, it's a chance to test myself if I'm ready for more responsibility. I push away finish lines, whenever I'm faced with something, I raise a flag demanding my time, which always has added reserve or a multiple of what is actually needed. I must try a lot more and fail a little more to break the barrier of fear. today, I was watching the last samurai for the first time, and there was a scene when Tom cruise was taught how to fight and he was told that he has too many minds, and I believe it's very true, sometimes I notice multiple threads of thoughts instantly happening and sometimes negating each other, it's like many buses and ur deciding which one to ride, is this overworking the mind, I think it certainly is, the ability to focus is when u r in sync with yourself and when u have or you CAN'T see your mind at all. it's the source of confidence and is how I define believing in your thought and hence yourself, I often found it amazing how my mom acts with over confidence, and how she buys a product after she sees an add on TV and how convincing she is when she talks to anybody, it's simply because she believes in what she says. she doesnt doubt. now, this is the recipe for moving out of where u stand, but will not change ur route, doubting is like a point waiting a signal to move anywhere around 360 direction, but u r still standing where u r. so better not to have a mind at all or maybe a combination of both. anyhow, night. I'm off to sleep

night

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 00:24:00 +0000

I cud run out of battery before I publish this one, today I was out with a friend I knew for almost 7 years, and it struck me that it's been +7 years since 2003!! we r in 2011, I was looking at Amman, and it's beautiful at night, it got a charm, I don't like it much at daytime especially with the traffic

I'm writing to note that often we forget to search for ourselves, subtracting what we do to survive from the equation, and through that little window of free hours we spare for ourselves each day, even becoming narrower, look for what you came here for and tell the world about it

Hugs,

Tala

Blacksmith in Amman?

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 16:00:00 +0000

I'm looking for a good blacksmith in Amman or a workshop that fabricates metal gate barriers, where do you normally find these places ?

Coming Home

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 21:32:00 +0000

I'm doing well and all is good, my work is ongoing and this is just a reminder that I have done my homework and I deserve a break and go mentally offline, Ammaning on Sunday; Here I come tadaaaaa

I'm coming home, coming home, tell the world, I'm coming home

In the back of my head, I have so many open ended stuff which require closing and it depends on ppl like ( the bank rep, the post office, the office boy ) and I won't be here :/ I need to reschedule tomorrow and go gift shopping. I can't sleep now,
I didn't study anything today and didn't go to the gym

Im not lazy :( I just had no excuse for not going

I should call S,M,A,N ,, else I will be killed

Nighty blog and visitors

Beirut, I love you

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 19:41:00 +0000

lovely :))

out of love

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 20:42:00 +0000

Dear Shamsa,

I would not have known how to make you a bottle or change your dipers properly, and probably I might have starred at you from a distance, I think its larger than life to be a mom, but I could sing you to sleep, and ponder about what you are thinking, I would tell you things about this world and how you came perfectly here to look for what your heart is for.

your parents and aunty love you so much and it amazes me what can people do purely out of love.

RIP

learn to stick

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 21:41:00 +0000

A lesson I learned from practice is: if you made a plan, stick to it. no plan is immune to failure and I know for sure that once you move to execution, you need to keep elaborating progressively and revise the plan given the actuals, but only to fulfil your goal and not to modify it. If there are any risks I need to consider, it should be done at an earlier stage, a lack of confidence during execution mode is pointless. after you have initiated your project, you have to keep working your way around that image, go back to what you committed to and remind yourself of your goals.

when you look at a reality and it matches that perspective, its a great feeling. I admire architects.

the beauty of projects is that you start at a point A, and you decide to go to point B when no one really has gone there before, so you are designing a route (among many) to get to B for the first time and you agreed to get there with constraints.

On Amman

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 22:33:00 +0000

Im back to Amman for a short break, and its fair to say that when you revisit a place, the contrast is at its best in the beginning and I noted little things that I thought are blog worthy about Amman :

The Airport
- everytime I step out of the plane going throuh the walkway to Queen Alia airport, I find the same Arab Bank advertisments, I shrug and I tell myself " not much changed " its been this way since 2009 with this ad........? its too grey and the walkway is grey :( why not say something about Jordan and Tourism, just make ppl smile =)

enough with Zain, Arab Bank .. seriously!
- the least thing one can do for the current terminals in use, while the new airport is under construction, is to keep em clean, like grout between floor tiles is dirty, , I dont mind the terminal being old, its fine, (check Abu Dhabi's Airport) but what I consider a big no no is the walls being REALLY dirty and the CCTV wires being exposed, a simple painting job can make a huge difference with some plants and greenery, the space gets a different feel. The Airport is a facade for what to expect when you visit Jordan, and it must be well maintained. don't spend millions, just maintain ok.

The Roads

who the hell is the contracting entity responsible for maintaining streets in Amman, the streets condition is awful,, not to mention the nonexisting road marking on secondary roads, insufficient lux levels, and lack of road planning. it is in a miserable state, not a SINGLE road is in good condition, maybe the asphalt application method as a system and road planning standards need to be revised, who are your contractors dear government? or is it done inhouse?

Film Festival and Festivals in general

I know we all love free screenings around the year and especially outdoor ones at the heart of Amman in summer, but don't you think its time to widen the circle a bit and seek a wider spectrum of fans for cultural film by creating an event that all Jordanians look forward to on their calendars, covering foreign, local, controversial, short, documentary, children movies.

we can make use of the Zara/City Mall Cinemas and other screening houses around town, print/sell tickets and make an extensive program of films over a week and bring the producers/leading cast for cultural film and generate public reviews, opinions, and spark some curiosity. I think it will be big in Jordan and its very easy to do, you have 1st circle, jabal qal3a, downtown, hussein cultural center and cinemas all over Jordan.. ( you can make free screenings / gala screenings / premiers / screening at malls ) and let the stars visit our beloved Jordan ........ why not?????

- Dubai Has Mudhish and Freej roaming around the city during shopping and cultural festivals, we need a character for Jordan that kids relate with other than Abu Mahjoob =)

also, starting an extensive literature festival is a good idea, nurturing the minds with books and thoughts is worth a thousand awareness campaign =)

ON HAVING FUN

- Is there any insider guide to Amman ? (a blackbook of Amman or something?) I hardly found anything except some comedy events fof Eid ! =/

- Is there anything like "timeout Amman" ? an online portal to know whats happening around the capital, selling tickets and reviewing new places and uprising hot spots, what to expect in few months ??

I know you will say, the economic crisis is hiting us hard and prices are inflated and people are tired, I agree, but how can you minimise this efflect, how are we creating jobs anyways? you need to create demand and thats why you need to sell your brand and put yourself on the map.

Arts and Tourism are a good start.

though this is not what i wanted to blog about, I wanted to write about something totally different but here is where it ends for today

Change through Comedy by Jamil Abu Wardeh

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:01:00 +0000

TEDx Dubai 2009 - Jamil Abu Wardeh from Giorgio Ungania on Vimeo.

Dans ma rue

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 00:01:00 +0000

Je Veux by ZAZ

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 20:32:00 +0000

Education for a better you

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:47:00 +0000

Back in May, I went to an open day at Dubai knowledge village, it was a non profit community event that hosted over 100 free workshops and classes from dance to languages and arts, it was so much fun, very engaging, and the tagline was " its a great day to learn something new "

I'm not really good at describing things, you can check here if you want to learn more. what inspired me to write about it today, was when I went to Jara Market, I was looking around for something to do, like everything there was on display for selling purposes or food consumption. but it doesn't envolve the visitor much, and people are on the recieving end most of the time. even in universities, its like its a job to be a student and I think its awful. when did learning stop being attractive? do you think our community and surrounding encourages learning?

I was talking to one guy at Jara who sold Mosaics, then I thought to myself, why don't they bring the material and let ppl do their mosaic themselves, it would be more meaningful and engaging, I do believe a tourist would want to try making mosaics or pottery while in the market, and not have to go to madaba to do it.

one of the things I found fascinating in the market in Istanbul is that sellers spoke Arabic, English, French, Turkish, spanish and Japanese! they are quite exposed to cultures, while our average JO, doesn't know much and is sucked in, we have a language center at JU , why don't they hold an open day for public not only students and give basic 1 hour classes around the day! we have resources, Im trying to address a community that really has no access to learning beyond formal education. the most important stuff we learned, we didn't learn them at schools. we gained them by practice.

this open day I attended, everything was free and all institutes from dance to fitness to languages and coaching engaged all age groups on the campus throughout the day and offered their services if you want to sign up later, so you get to provide something for free for the community but it pays back because at the end of the open day, you get people wanting to sign up and I believe its worth it. learning events is as important as cultural events.

Finish the Lyrics

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 16:29:00 +0000

Every morning on the way to work, I listen to the chris fade show with chad on virgin radio, I get off before the impossible question is answered unless im really late and it becomes the discussion over morning coffee with my colleagues, there is another game they do too, is called finish the lyrics, where you obviously finish the lyrics, so been putting pop songs if you want to play, no googling!! sing the tune, its easy

enjoyy

..and kill the music

1. The pressure is on,you feel it,but you've got it all, believe it
When you fall get up,oh oh and if you fall get up eh eh,******* **** ********* *** **** ** ******

2. your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brain, i knew i wouldn't forget you and so I went and let you blow my mind, *** **** ******.

3. my tummy's turning and Im feeling kinda homesick, too much pressure and im nervous, thats when the DJ dropped my favourite tune and the britney song was on, **** * *** ** **** **

4. she loves samba and the mambo,She like to break dance and calypso Get a lil crazy, get a lil stupid get a lil crazy, crazy, crazy * **** ** * **** ***** ** *** *****

5. Somebody take me back to the days, Before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank,Yeah back when I was tryin' to get into the subway ******** **************

push for clean energy regulations

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 07:36:00 +0000

who would have thought that, here in the UAE, it snows
when 20 million people around the world no longer have homes
this is no old history. this is reality
climate changed. slowly, gradually, and ever noticeably
to explode exponentially
melting icebergs, earthquakes, tsunamis & storms

earth fever. the latest work of the mad man
replacing ground covers with fabricated stone
carl said, earth is the only home we have known
the sky is white, the sea is polluted
too humid, too hot, too dusty and prone
to declare another ice age and rebel
when we refuse to disarm
if we continue to isolate
mankind from its datum
we cause more harm to ourselves,
its time to retrofit
a solution to clean up what we did
Clean Energy has not matured and it costs more than a bit
unless the governments agree
to think beyond cash cows
and invest in the healing
of mother Earth.

Sosan's Story: Domestic Violence in Afganistan

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:44:00 +0000

The husband doubts his wife's behavior, abuses the mother of 7, together with her elder son they try to kill her by electrocuting her, she survives, she runs away with 3 of her kids to the shelter, refuses to return to her husbands house, gets a divorce, loses the custody of her 7 year old boy to the father, gets disowned by her parents, she can't leave the shelter unless she gets married again otherwise she is under the threat of being killed by her family for being divorced, she gets married, leaves the shelter & loses the custody of her two daughters.

The Pale Blue Dot

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 23:33:00 +0000

Meat Purée a la Wheat A.K.A Harees

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 20:20:00 +0000

If you think Mansaf can knock you down, you should try yourself a plate of Harees. not to be confused with our Hareeseh, Harees is a traditional Emarati dish that is quite famous during Ramadan in the Gulf region. it is made of mashed meat (mutton mostly) with wheat that are left to cook for loong time.
if you are a meat lover, this dish should be on your to try list, of course it has the same side effects of mansaf, a concrete like effect on stomach & non functional brain for hours to follow.

Healthiness 4/5
Presentation 0/5
Yuminess 2.5/5

Thought on a Frame

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 17:18:00 +0000

the long stem from this little growing thing at my desk turned out to be for this surprise

Architecture to look at while in queue

we were looking for a parking at the mall when we saw this guy..

on Hamas' Policy

noreply@blogger.com (Tala) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:32:00 +0000

check this out