You are aware! You are alive!

Everything you experience is you – it couldn’t be otherwise.

You are unlimited awareness, not resisting anything, including everything.

You are completely at peace.

You are not:

• Separate or limited
• A person with a story
• Your thoughts
• Your feelings
• Any concepts you might have about yourself
• A victim of the past

You are the awareness in which all of this appears.

As you find your way home,

As you shift from your limited idea of you to your true boundless nature,

• Treat everyone and everything (including yourself) with love and care.
• Lose interest in troublesome thoughts and feelings – let them be finished.
• Follow happiness.
• Tell the truth.
• Fill your life with beauty in all forms.

Note: All comments and questions are welcome.  Beginning next week, I’ll be away on a silent retreat and will reappear in the middle of May.
Love to you,

Gail

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We’re moving way too fast, and it’s time to slooow dooown. Does your life fly by at warp speed? Are you exhausted, always living three steps ahead of yourself?

We think that everything we do is so important. The situations in our lives demand our attention and fuel an agitated, nonstop mind.

How are we ever going to realize the peace and happiness we want if we don’t slow down?

Slow Down and Rest

Over coffee with some friends, we were lamenting the loss of the sabbath. In the olden days (well, the 1960′s), stores were closed on Sundays, and it was a day of true relaxation, a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

It was an opportunity to stop, rest, enjoy, and connect – free of the pressure to do and achieve.

But slowing down isn’t just about taking a break.

Slow Down and Reconnect

When you run at full tilt, you are disconnected from yourself. You are driven by your schedule or your perceived obligations. The mind has taken over, and your life has become built on concepts rather than the true aliveness that allows it to emerge naturally and effortlessly.

You have no time or space to get honest with yourself about the unhealthy patterns you play out.

Until you slow down…way down…nothing will change. Yes, things will happen, but

you will be a victim of your life rather than the enjoyer of it.

There’s no need to make a radical change. You can slow down and speed up as you wish. But consider dipping your toe into the wonder of slowing down. Because when you do, you open to the possibility of unifying yourself and reducing confusion.

You discover that everything you were looking for is already here.

You meet peace, harmony, and contentment – right here in this present moment.

Are you ready to slow down? Here’s what you get. Welcome to sanity, welcome to your life.

Be Here Now

Of course, you are always here – how could you be anywhere else? But when your mind is spinning with thoughts about the past and worries about the future, you feel anywhere but here.

Slow down your activities. Take some time to be quiet. Lose interest in your thoughts so their power wanes.

Let go of analyzing, judging, categorizing, projecting, wishing, and see that things unfold just fine. Whatever needs to happen will happen without your intervention.

Have no expectations, and you can’t possibly be disappointed.

Breathe. Be. Allow rather than do. Rest in the stillness of you.

Observe and Feel

Slowing down creates the space to get very familiar with your automatic programming. Do you smoke, eat too much, keep yourself ridiculously busy? Are you driven by need, lack, or control?

These patterns cannot possibly bring you peace.

When you slow down, you tell the truth to yourself. You feel the effects of these self-betrayals.

You learn so clearly how these habits play out there is the possibility of choosing differently.

I recently spoke with a 95-year-old woman who was still intensely concerned about what people think of her. So painful. Please don’t let this be you.  Slow down, and do the work that is required for your precious well being.

Notice

If you slow down, and you’re not filling your mind with a jumble of thoughts about the future, then what?

Ah, this is where living starts. You will notice the array of appearances that come and go.

Open to sounds. Feel sensations. Look around you with totally fresh eyes. Be awake as you drive, clean, cook, laugh.

Feel the essence of people around you so you can meet them exactly as they are – selflessly.

Enjoy the blossoming of life that is inseparable from you.

KISS

KISS stands for “keep it simple, stupid.” I can’t remember the last time I used the word “stupid,” but the “keep it simple” part is filled with wisdom.

When you slow down, you simplify. The most natural way of being emerges, and here’s what you discover:

• Action happens effortlessly based on what is appropriate in the situation
• The veils of your conditioning fall away, leaving you free
• Thoughts release their grip on you
• You are moved by love, not fear

Slow down. Arrive right here where you have never left. You will naturally emanate joy everywhere.

Do you find it difficult to slow down? What have you discovered when you do? We’d all love to hear…

My blogging friend Christopher Foster of The Happy Seeker has just released his lovely book, The Raven Who Spoke with God, on Kindle. Click here to check it out (non-affiliate link).

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I have so much compassion for those deeply-held patterns that we find ourselves trapped by. The pattern might be a fear of not having enough or being enough, a tendency to need approval or acceptance, or an out-of-control desire for control.

We feel a basic sense of lack and are driven to complete ourselves. “If only I could find the missing link, then I would be happy.” Doesn’t this describe the human condition?

The Origin of Lack

These patterns form when we are very young in response to circumstances and relationship dynamics. The people around us meant the best, but sometimes they fell short of providing the support and attention that we really needed.

This unfortunate situation creates the fertile ground for troublesome programming to thrive. We learn survival patterns that take hold of us like a hungry tiger, and they spread their tentacles into our hearts, minds, and bodies.

And now here you are, in your 20′s or 40′s or even older, acting as if you were five again. This is what has happened: the past is very much alive in the present.

Identify Your Identities

The pull of these unresolved experiences is very strong. They infiltrate you and become who you think you are. They seem to stuff the wholeness of you into a tiny box, and they drive you with need and desperation.

I had very early experiences that gave me the message that I wasn’t safe in the world. Since my basic security felt threatened, I grew up filled with fear. Sometimes it has played out as passivity and sometimes as a sense of bravado that hid the fear that was driving me.

Either way, whenever I respond with passivity or bravado, I am keeping the past alive in the present.

Return to Sanity

You have probably heard of the metaphor of the inner child. When these experiences from the past have not gotten the loving attention they need, it is just like a child living inside you. You feel the emotions of that earlier time, and they drive you to limit yourself in so many ways.

Believe me, I know this well in my own experience.

But I know this also: Total freedom requires us to unearth these tendencies. They are not real, and they are not who we are. They drive our behavior, and they shield us from the natural life that is our birthright.

We must see them with laser-like clarity or they continue to live in us outside of conscious awareness.

Isn’t it time to heal these so-called wounds and return to natural wholeness?

Tell the truth about how you bring the past into the present. Name the tendencies that operate through you. Step back from them so you can see them as they are. Know that they have landed in you, but they are not you.

Be ruthless and compassionate. Yes, undesirable things happened, but stay rooted in your quest for freedom, for wholeness. Be willing to do whatever it takes.

Tell the story and feel the pain. Don’t hold back in experiencing the pain of these patterns. How do they make you feel? How have you betrayed yourself? What has been the effect on others? Feel the truth of the pain so you see it clearly. But don’t wallow in it.

Soothe the inner child. Let him or her feel your support and reassurance and love. And know that I love you, with all my heart.

Contemplate living without these tendencies. What would change? What would freedom feel like? This is the natural, unconditioned you.  Experiment with living it.

Stay aware. These deeply-embedded patterns hold on tightly. Know them so well that they come to light in an instant. Then, over and over, relax into wholeness. Let go of all barriers and live in this open, receptive space, free of boundaries and structure.

Then one day you will notice, ah, peace and happiness…effortlessly.

This is your time. What pattern do you need to resolve? How do you stay committed to the process? We would all love to hear and support you…

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In case you haven’t noticed yet, the truth of who you are is intelligent, creative, and naturally fulfilled. This is your essence, your true nature, that is non-negotiable and undeniable.

You don’t have life – you are life. You don’t find peace – you are infinitely peaceful at the core.

But sometimes the clouds move in, and your inner glow seems to be hidden. You want to be happy, yet fear deters you. You long for an end to suffering, but you just don’t know how to go about it. You are desperate for your light to shine even though it seems very, very dim. (Light? What light?)

When we are perfectly aligned with life in its purest form, it unfolds effortlessly. But for most of us, effort is required for a time. It helps tremendously to know what you should focus on and how you should handle your reactions and troublesome habits.

And if you’re really serious about releasing your inner brilliance, you will make it a practice to apply these actions as often as possible during your daily life. This is what I have done for years, and it’s been a joy to know in my own experience that the clouds move on, and the light keeps getting brighter and brighter.

Familiarize yourself with these five actions, then, when the moment is right, engage with them. Put them into practice, notice the results, and prepare yourself to be surprised. For each one is a doorway to your limitless light.

1. Let go of any stories you are telling yourself.

We tell ourselves stories about the past and worry about what might happen in the future. Stories can be dramatic, scary, or sad. Some common ones are:

• I’m a victim.
• I’m no good.
• I can’t.
• I’m not worthy.
• I deserve…
• I should or shouldn’t….

No story serves the release of your inner brilliance. Stories categorize and define. They convince you that you are a fraction of who you really are. And they divert your attention from what is real, free, and alive in you.

Lose interest in all stories – yes, all of them. Shed the veils of thinking, and watch your brilliance take over.

2. Listen to the whisper voice of your natural self and let it guide you.

Once the roar of thinking dies down, there is the space for you to listen. Spend time being quiet. Just sit, and be infinitely open and available.

Guidance is always here. Your job is to listen and follow it.

Are you willing?

3. Don’t feed the drama of your emotions.

Emotions can easily get you side-tracked. Say, “No more.” See that emotions come and go like weather. Don’t worship at the altar of your feelings or let them direct your precious life.

Witness your emotions, but don’t get involved with them. They are not a reliable source of information or a signpost. Simply let them be, then the natural direction of your brilliance will unfold. Try it out, and see if this is true for you.

4. Follow what makes you happy.

Don’t be afraid of happiness, and don’t protect yourself from experiencing joy. Turn away from a need to please others or to live according to your should’s and expectations. Don’t be bound by pressures of any kind.

Now is your chance to be free. And now, and now. It’s very simple. If you let happiness guide you:

• What would you do?
• How would you relate to your stories and emotions?
• How do you want to show up in the moments of your life?

Align yourself with happiness, and your natural brilliance will overflow everywhere.

5. Be completely open in your mind and heart.

If you are closed and resistant, you are locking yourself into a very small room. Instead, cultivate a sense of curiosity about everything.

• Maybe you can be more fulfilled than you could ever imagine. (What is possible for you?)
• Maybe you can be non-reactive and peaceful. (How would that affect your inner world and your relationships?)
• Maybe what you identify as problems actually get solved when you relate to them differently. (What would you do with all the energy that is freed up?)

Be open to recognizing and questioning all assumptions. You will be well on the road to living as the infinite brilliance that you are.

It is true that you get out what you put in. Find the place inside you that can’t bear the suffering and confusion and troubled habits one moment longer. Practice these five actions continually.

Then step out of the way, and be your beautiful, shining self.

Do you practice these actions? What happens? Do you notice any obstacles to these practices? I’d love to hear…

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“Can you explain the sinking into your heart for me?”

This is a beautiful question I received from a reader, Paul, in response to the post from a couple of weeks ago. It was about pressing the reset button – the choice that is available in any moment to stop feeding the momentum of a reactive pattern.

If you are caught in an emotional whirlwind, or if you are consumed by a flood of thinking, you can stop, pause, connect with your wisdom and intelligence, and reset. Ahhhh, sanity.

I mentioned that one of the ways to reset is to let go of thinking and sink into the heart. This is what prompted the question. What exactly does that mean – to sink into the heart?

The Value of Inquiring

I love this question because it is penetrating. You could easily assume that you know what it means. After all, everyone has a heart. But let’s make sure. Let’s inquire deeply, so you can fully understand. Let’s shine the laser on even the most obvious idea so you can drill down to the absolute truth of it.

Only then can you relax.

Your mind stops questioning, so you can live the answer.

Isn’t that what you long for?

So let’s take a deep, penetrating look. What does it mean to let go of thinking and sink into the heart?

Lose Interest in Thinking

We all know what it’s like to be caught up in thinking. You judge, ruminate, worry, plan, and tell yourself sad or scary stories. You negotiate and justify and defend. When the mind is functioning in full force, you can’t possibly be fully available to the moment.

Now the letting go part. If you make the choice to become less interested in thoughts, your attention will naturally move away from thinking. Then you are available to presence, reality. And this is the realm of the heart.

Without attention to thinking, miraculously you notice sounds and sense perceptions that were always here. You are quiet enough to realize there is breathing, the wind on your face, tension in the jaw, a feeling you’ve been ignoring.

You are waking up to what is. Mind clear and alert. Eyes wide open. Seeing and hearing from the space beyond eyes and ears.

I used to do silent meditation retreats where, after a few days, the mind would become very still. Looking out through my eyes everything was so clear and precise. There was a great sense of peace. At first, I thought something was wrong, and I would look in the mirror to see if my pupils were dilated.

Now I understand that with no interest in thinking, the reality of what is actually here in the moment becomes obvious. No distractions, no hiding, no pretending.

With nothing whatsoever in the way, what remains is infinite clear seeing, unlimited awareness. Perception of everything that is so amazingly fresh.

And in this clarity, heart-centered qualities appear naturally – compassion for people and situations, being overcome by beauty, gratitude overflowing.

A Practical Experiment

I invite you to try an experiment, just for a moment. Think about something with gusto, then let go of the thinking. Be awareness itself, fully open and allowing.

******

I just tried this myself and noticed a palpable difference in my experience. Thinking felt tight and contracted. But once I stopped feeding thoughts and opened to awareness, there was the sound of birds, the rays of sunlight dancing with the leaves, and a sweet softness and relaxation.

Live in the Heart

“Sinking into the heart” is a remembrance of our true nature, or, as one of my teachers says, our “infinite magnificence.” When we disconnect from thinking, there is somehow an unshakeable knowing that we have arrived home. Who we are is not our thoughts, not the individual entity we call the body or Paul or Gail.

Separation is seen as untrue, and what is realized is the inter-being (as Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says) of all of life. In the realization of this wholeness of all, with nothing excluded, is the unnameable. But probably the best word to describe it is love.

The suggestion to sink into the heart is an invitation to align with life, to let go of resistance, and to know ourselves as love, as life itself.

What is your experience with losing interest in thinking? Is it hard or easy? What happens?  I’d love to hear…

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Hi Everyone,

For a change of pace, here is a video post just for you.  Please enjoy.

Love,

Gail

Please click on the title of the post, and the video will appear.

If you haven’t gotten my free ebook yet, now is your chance.  It’s called, “Tending Your Garden of Everyday Joy: 30 Reflections for a Flourishing Life,” and it is my gift to you in appreciation when you sign up for the mailing list. Simply click here.

Teaching stories are everywhere, like this one, for example. My new husband and I were lost in the woods this weekend, and, well, what else to do but take out our iphones.

In a minute, his showed us the way, yet mine was woefully blank. A trip to the Apple store solved the problem – a simple reset, and I was good to go.

Reset Applied

The next day, I found myself grumpy and stressed. Then the lightbulb went off. Oh, a reset! And that was all that was needed. The clouds cleared, and there was openness and peace once again.

Really, my choice to reset changed the whole tone of the moment and the rest of the day.

Can it be as simple as that? Absolutely. You are never more than a nanosecond away from sanity. You are closer than close to knowing yourself as aware presence, alive to all possibilities.

Just as you choose to be troubled and downcast, you can opt for a reset. As the quote by Jill Bolte Taylor says, “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.”

It’s Your Choice

Take responsibility for your mood, what you think about and believe, your attachments. Take responsibility for happiness, and you will see that this simple shift changes everything.

Here’s how it works:

• Reset: What do I really want in this moment?
• Reset: What is most important right now?
• Reset: Let me forget about thinking and sink into the heart.
• Reset: What emotion, expectation, or idea do I need to let go of – right now?

Maybe you think if you read enough blog posts, one day you will magically become happy or more in control of your thoughts or feelings. Maybe you think that happiness is not possible for you.

My suggestion to you is: don’t just read – try it out in your own experience. When you find yourself stuck in lack or misery, press reset. Clear your screen completely, and look out with fresh eyes. Drop the veils that hide your magnificence, and relax into the space of no projections.

Here each moment is brimming with potential. Whatever seemed frustrating or painful dissolves. You sparkle with creativity and openness. You are flexible so new solutions come to mind.

 The amazing good news is that you don’t have to settle, you don’t have to accept good enough. Take responsibility for the energy you bring to any space.

If you are struggling, reset. It’s the button you are always carrying, right in your back pocket.

How do you reset if you’re having a hard time? Do you find it difficult? I’d love to hear…

In case you haven’t heard, I am offering a free ebook, “Tending Your Garden of Everyday Joy: 30 Reflections for a Flourishing Life.” It is my gift to you in appreciation when you sign up for the mailing list. Simply click here.

All you need to do is click here sign up for the mailing list, and, you will receive a link where you can download it. And if you are already on the list, you will receive the link, too. It is my gift to you because I appreciate your support of what I offer here at A Flourishing Life.

I love this book because I designed it to be very useful for you. Really, it tumbled out of my heart and onto the page. It contains 30 short passages that you can reflect on, study, then diligently apply to your own life.

Here is #22, From Unworthiness to Wholeness:

A pattern of thinking that is way too common these days involves people feeling that they are lacking, unworthy, or insufficient. This is a story that masks the magnificence of who you truly are.

If this story defines you, consider leaving it behind and walk out into the light of your full potential. Be loving and kind toward yourself whenever the story appears, but be ruthless in realizing, over and over, that it is not the reality of you.

Somehow you learned to believe that you are limited. Pull this weed from your garden, and create the space for your unique creative self to shine.

Can you live from wholeness today?

In a way, everyday joy is serious business. It invites you to stay very aware of the choices you make – and you make millions of them every day – so that you can stay connected with what you really want.

This is not a book of affirmations or trite suggestions. It offers what you need to know so that you can live the moments of your precious life in everyday joy.

I recommend that you take your time with these reflections. Stay on each one as long as you feel moved to – a day or a week – and return to them often.

It seems easy to forget your true magnificence when thoughts and feelings take hold. This book is about remembering. Remembering who you are – truly magnificent you.

Make everyday joy a priority, and you will see results – every day.

I’d love to hear your feedback, so feel free to comment once you’ve taken a look.

Love,
Gail

It’s been two years since I started writing my first novel, and, as you can imagine, after two years of sitting by myself, in front of a computer screen, for hours on end, I’ve managed to learn a thing or two about myself.

Now, you may not realize it, but writing a novel is like taking a masters course in patience, resilience, and most importantly, self-love. Part of that self-love is the consistent nurturing of one’s soul throughout the whole process. Without this nurturing, I have found, your work and your life tend to suffer.

What is The Soul?

The soul is your energy force. It’s that thing we notice when someone enters a room. You know how people say that there are some individuals who walk through the door and just “light up the room”? The “light” we notice these people possessing is their energy force. It is their “inner light bulb” that constantly reflects how fulfilled, energetic, and happy they really are. That “light” is the light of their soul.

I have found that when we take the effort to nurture our souls, our work comes out effortlessly. We enjoy the process more. Our life, too, takes on a vibrant, colorful quality. Everything seems to pulse with light.

Here are just 7 ways we can nurture our souls on a daily basis:

1. Meditate

The more you meditate, the more you’ll realize that most of your day-to-day problems—like finding new ideas, de-stressing, or figuring out how to the answer to a current dilemma—can all be solved with a simple meditation practice.

So, start by taking 15-30 minutes out of your day today to pay attention to your breathing. Then, take careful notice of the world around you. Finally, feel your soul light up with appreciation.

2. Exercise

If others try to motivate us to exercise, they’ll often tell us we should do it because it’ll make us look physically better or it’ll extend our lifespan by several years.

But these common motivations for exercise almost always make us fail after the first try.

Why?

Because this is what happens: after one jog, we look in the mirror and see no proof of our looking physically better. Then, we begin to wonder why we would ever want to extend our life if we’re spending a good portion of that life doing something we hate—like running.

So, I’ve found that the best way to get yourself to exercise regularly is not to make the purpose of exercising some future, physical reward, but the enlivening of your soul.

Make a decision to exercise because it makes you feel good not because it’ll make you look good.

These days, I’m able to keep up my exercise routine because I use it to de-stress, wind-down, and get out all my negative energy. Every time I finish jogging, I can see immediate results that fulfill my purpose—and that, in turn, motivates me to keep my exercise routine going.

3. Validate your own experience

Before we rush to judgment about how we’ve failed to measure up to expectations, we should validate what we’re going through first.

The best way to do this is to imagine your situation being faced by a friend or family member who you really care about. How would you react if what was happening to you wasn’t happening to you, but to that person you really cared about? Wouldn’t you want to validate this person’s struggles first instead of rushing to judgment?

If you feel yourself not meeting up to expectations, treat yourself the way you would treat a loved one who needs your support. Be your biggest cheerleader by validating your experience first, before rushing to judgment.

4. “Integrate” the challenges you face

If your attempt to “overcome” a challenge isn’t working, maybe you can try asking yourself: “How can this challenge be integrated into my life?”

Integrated, your challenge may be able to teach your soul how to become stronger, more resilient, or more patient.  Integrated, your challenge may be able to teach your soul how to be more calm and resolute in a storm. Integrated, your challenge can help you move forward, instead of forcing you into a never-ending battle for perfection you can never win.

5. Accept yourself as whole now

Realize that becoming a better “self” is not the problem–the “self” is the problem. Because The Self is never satisfied and will always see you as lacking and inadequate in some form or another.

There will be always be a better “you” you can be. So, instead, accept yourself as a whole person now, and seek to recognize this complete self as often as possible.

6. Start a practice of “least-resistance”

Much “soul energy” is wasted in trying to build up resistance to people, situations, or things we don’t want to experience. But this wasted energy could be better utilized elsewhere.

I recommend you start with a practice of least-resistance when you encounter unfavorable things, people, or circumstances. Quickly accept the reality of their existence, and then look to see how you can adapt, or work with, the undesirable force.

7. Start with what moves you the most

I’ve noticed that I struggle the most when I ignore the whisper of my soul and, instead, listen to my cold, logical mind. My cold, logical mind often leads me down a colorless, methodical path that makes me feel lost, restless, and confused.

But if I simply ask myself:

“What moves me the most right now?”

My soul always whispers the answer. And when I go down the path of my soul, I always come out the other end surprised, happy, and exhilarated by what I find there.

The Benefit of Nurturing Your Soul

I recommend that you give your soul the attention it deserves, if only so that it may lead you to a place your cold, logical mind cannot take you to: a more fulfilling life.

What are ways in which you nurture your soul on a daily basis? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

Ollin Morales is a writer. His blog, Courage 2 Create, chronicles his journey as he writes his first novel.  His blog offers writing advice as well as strategies to deal with life’s tough challenges. His blog was named one of The Top Ten Blogs for Writers by WriteToDone two years in a row (2011, 2012) and has been featured on The Huffington Post and Colorlines.com

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These are the words that my partner and I will be saying to each other at our wedding ceremony next Friday. Yes, I’m getting married, and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it.

The process of creating our ceremony has been revealing in unexpected ways. Over the years, I have made commitments to myself, but speaking a vow to my beloved in front of our family and friends is potent.

After all, I live with a great deal of integrity, so if I make a vow, I intend to keep it.

But I want this vow to be freeing – not loaded with should’s and feeling like a prison. So I take it as an expression of my deepest desire: to meet all of life with openness and acceptance.

Which includes being open and accepting of myself when I fall short.

You can think of it this way: the noun “vow” is lived as a verb. It is a living, breathing, spacious, loving way of being.

So I invite you to fill in the blank: I vow to….

Take your time with this. Get quiet, bring your attention inside, and let the answer come from the deepest part of your being.

Then watch how your life aligns in unimaginable ways.

Years ago I gathered my fragmented life and committed to knowing the absolute truth, no matter what. Some areas are still a work in progress, but here I am, marrying a man who is amazing, and the right match for me, beyond anything I could have ever dreamed up.

All I can say is, “Thank you.” I am on my knees with gratitude.

Have the courage to state what this life is about. Be conscious, awake, and infinitely loving. Every moment is more precious than you could ever know. Make a vow, and you won’t miss out on what you have been given.

Now it’s your turn. What do you vow to? Say it in the comments below, let it be known with all of us as witnesses. Then live it, and the rest will be taken care of perfectly.

Love to you,

Gail

PS: I’ll be taking a couple of weeks off, and I’ll be back with you later in February.

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