When a piece of equipment fails to respond we become annoyed. We do not like to wait. We become easily impatient. Because of this impatience we lose out on many benefits in life.

Our impatience often leads to anger. However, patience has many rewards. A patience mind calmly awaits the outworking of circumstances and in that patience, acquires the knowledge and insight to handle situations more effectively.

Then… rather that a knee jerk reaction, we act from a position of thought and vision, often leading to better outcomes.

Patience is not about doing nothing, but rather allowing just a little time and space to get yourself together, so that when you do something, it really is something.

Even if it seems threatening at first, helping a partner grow and find himself or herself makes a relationship stronger. In time the partners will seem less dependent and less possessive. They remain together because they want to be together. Although they have the freedom each day to stay or to leave, they choose to stay and grow together. It’s a choice they make every day, consciously or otherwise.

My wife once put it this way – The strongest relationship is the one between two people who see each other as midwives to the persons they wish to become.

I was using a hand saw to cut some wood, but just could not get a straight cut no matter how hard I tried and no matter how much muscle I put behind the saw.

Sumai, who was a small man, took the saw out of my hand and, with what appeared to be no effort at all, cut the wood in a straight line faster than I could say “mahogany”.

He said that because I was a big fella, I probably figured I could use brute force to cut the wood. “Big mistake” he teased.  “The saw is designed to do a particular job” said Sumai, “Your role is simply to guide the saw along the line with a gentle rocking motion”.

I tried it and was amazed. I realised that I had been fighting with the handsaw, preventing it from doing its job.

It was a valuable lesson and not just for woodwork, but all aspects of life. Instead of making use of situations and even challenges, working with them, using them to our advantage and moving in the direction in which we want to go, we often fight with ourselves and get in the way of our own progress. Sometimes we try so hard to keep a straight line and stay on track towards our goals that we cause a derailment.

Even when we want something to change for the better, say a relationship, our work or our community, we often rush into it with our eyes and minds closed, biting off more than we can chew. Instead of managing the change we are overwhelmed by it. The result… well you know… lots of words and superficial actions, but no improvement.

The world is changing fast, but speed is not always what’s required, often we need wisdom.

What does tomorrow hold? We don’t know. But if today we explore more efficient methods of doing whatever we do; begin learning improved ways of coping; then at least we will be preparing ourselves for whatever comes our way.

Being prepared helps you cope with change, allowing you to respond to unforeseen events with minimum panic and with the determination to succeed.

But notice what happens if at some point, they fail to live up to our expectations and desires; if they should show some human failing, or choose to do something we do not understand or approve of?

We are disappointed, annoyed, hurt. We may even feel betrayed.  The faith, trust, respect, and in some cases adoration, is replaced with distaste.

Is it really possible that the virtues and talents of a person can be wiped out by one mistake, a small weakness or simply because they failed to live up to your expectations?

Human beings are just that… beings playing a human role. And being human means we’re not prefect. We’re making effort according to our own perception and beliefs, our own understanding of our role and according to our capacity.

Sometimes even heroes need a helping hand, someone who will listen without judging or a shoulder to lean on.

Don’t get me wrong, I find humour in almost every situation and I learn a lot from laughing (chuckling) at myself about those silly little – and sometimes big – screw ups, but what happened to that bubbling over and choosing to focus on that which makes my heart sing?

I have been involved in music, in one way or another, for most of my life and I have a passion about the healing forces of sound, so when I mentioned the above matters to a close friend here’s what she had to say.

Your beliefs about yourself and your view of what’s possible determine what you become.

Some say the Universe is listening when you talk to yourself. If you keep telling yourself that you aren’t creative or can’t become wealthy, that inner conviction holds you back from becoming what you want to be.

Why not listen to your inner music to find passion in what inspires you. Your passion is what stirs your soul.

Even if you’re stuck in a job you’re not excited about, you can follow your interests in your free time, which may lead to work you are passionate about.

Fear is the only thing that can keep you from listening to your inner music and dancing to your unique rhythm.

Let go of the judgements about yourself. Embrace every moment as if it were the sweetest most sensuous sound you had ever heard. Allow the vibrations to resonate in the core of your being. Harmonise with the energy of your being.

Declare yourself a success and hold that vision so passionately that you act upon it.  Just dance.

Put it this way. You have to meet someone in a strange place and you realise you’re lost. The sensible thing to do would be to ask someone for help. Find out where you are, then plan a new course to get to your meeting.

But you know what happens with some people? They don’t want to admit they’re lost, so they keep going around in circles, hoping they’ll eventually get where they want to go.

Life is like that. But sometimes we need to stop for a while to check where we are, to get our bearings. We may even need to take some direction or guidance before moving on.

Whatever your goal, it’s always useful to think about where you’re going. Plan a route, look around to get a sense of where you are right now and don’t be afraid to ask for help along the way.

Many people can’t deal with it. Maybe it’s an ego thing.  You might hear them say: “Oh, well… I had my reasons for doing that”,  or “You can think what you want, I know I’m right!”

It’s been said, “The wise man admits to his folly, only the fool claims he is never wrong.”

Sometimes it can be very hard to swallow the pill of humility.  But it’s a good medicine and regular doses can help keep arrogance under control. Another area to consider is who is really being fooled when you try to fool others?  Most times it is you. So, who is the ultimate loser when you have to cheat in order to win?  That would be you… again.

If you mess up now and then, but admit it, you might find you can get help to put you back on track.

There’s a very old saying  the wise man learns from his mistakes, gains experience, knowledge and perhaps greater wisdom.  The fool denies his error and becomes more foolish.

My Mum passed at end March 2008 after a long and painful battle with cancer. My Dad, who had Alzheimer’s for the past 8 years or so but was otherwise physically healthy, passed at the end of June 2010.

Mum’s death mashed me up for months. Got a flight while she was in the hospice, but just before leaving home in Trinidad to catch a plane to London, where my folks lived since 1958, I got the call from my brother that Mum passed.

I had been travelling to London to visit Dad regularly since Mum died. Was there in March / April of this year and had some real good time with him. Spoke to him on Father’s day and thanked him for all that he’s done for me. For providing me with a good example of what it means to be a gentleman, to respect every human being, to be independent, self-reliant, not to inconvenience people unnecessarily, to always look for ways to develop myself. For introducing me to spiritual pursuits and the fun that can be had from checking out what ancient and modern philosophers had to say about life. For encouraging me to pursue my creative/artistic dreams, especially in music, for respecting my choices and helping me to understand that everything has its consequences.

I’m working my way through Dad passing so soon after Mum. I’m getting there.
I’m 56 and after the funeral stuff was out of the way and the paperwork, sorting of clothes and stuff I returned to Trinidad and memories of my parents are with me for many hours a day. 90 percent real good stuff.

I really realise that I am still a child, or to be more precise my parents’ child. These were great folks, I was not always aware of it while growing up and even in my twenties I was not always ready to embrace just how special and wonderful my mum and dad were. Just how much they really, really loved me and my brother. Just how much they sacrificed, not only financially and stuff, but also how much they put their own views and opinions on pause and allowed us to make our own choices, to find out for ourselves and to find ourselves (of course that journey continues).

It’s at times overwhelming to think about how much a part of me they are and will always be. Scenes of my childhood play on my mind-screen with associated feelings re-stimulated, re-experienced, re-felt (if there was such a word I’d use it a lot right now).
A friend in a similar position recently discussed the aspect of relationships with our parents and of being adult orphans.

As we get older we start to parent our parents and for some of us it’s not long before our children begin to parent us. Yes it is indeed all part of life. We don’t choose how we arrive and don’t usually have a say in how we depart, but in between we do have choices and that’s where the wonders can happen.

Appreciation of the moments we have often helps us to focus on that which enables us to stand, open our eyes and focus on the light ahead. It may only be a tiny dot, but as we continue to walk it gets bigger. As it increases in size we can be motivated to keep moving forward, guided by the Light, embraced by the Light, sharing the Light.

It caught me off guard. I tried to keep it together and told her that what I said to my wife was my opinion and there was no need for her to get involved.

The young lady turned up the heat and the volume. With a significant dose of sarcasm I thanked her for the excellent customer service and walked into the cinema.

But as I sat down, I began to get upset at the way she behaved. I was fuming for about 10 minutes before I realised… wait, I’ve paid to see this show, I’m sitting here and allowing the woman’s hang ups to spoil my enjoyment. That can’t work. It’s like I’m paying money to get upset. I decided that her frustration belonged to her… not to me.

By the way, it was a great movie.