garlandgrey

shejira:misplacedjoanofarc:retrogasm: Anita Ekberg I’m...

Sat, 31 Jul 2010 13:03:45 -0500

shejira:misplacedjoanofarc:retrogasm: Anita Ekberg

I’m going to spend the rest of 2010 trying to bring the word SASSY back.

withjayz:halesssssssss I think once you’ve gotten to the...

Sat, 31 Jul 2010 11:01:45 -0500

I think once you’ve gotten to the point where you are considering brackets inside of parenthesis, it is time to reevaluate the bit. How important is it that we know this one thing (but also this other thing that is related, but not related enough to frolic is the rest of the paragraph like real writing {essentially a sign to the editor that all of this can be struck because nested levels of parenthetical statements? Self-indulgent.}) about a point which by now you have all forgotten.

Use a dash in place of an ellipsis. I don’t know if this springs from the limited range of uses for the punctuation itself, or if I am predisposed against the ellipsis because of the people who use it: bad writers who want to lend their writing ersatz gravitas. To make themselves feel… I don’t know… successful? At this thing they are sucking at? A little like stream of consciousness for the terminally ignorant? I confess I have done this in the past… my thoughts and revelations coming in waves… no thought ever really completed… all of them feeding into the patchwork of my emotional torpor… if you will excuse me… I must walk… into the ocean…

An ellipsis can create expectancy, if you haven’t seen it misused enough times to convince you it is bad punctuation. It is usually a terrible idea, anyway.

Baths - Maximalist

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 22:10:21 -0500

Baths - Maximalist

I hear the ticking of the clockI’m lying here, the...

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 17:10:22 -0500

I hear the ticking of the clock
I’m lying here, the room’s pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won’t end though
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don’t know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight
You don’t know how long I have waited
and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
and my love for you is still unknown
Alone

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
Alone
Alone

bontoms:lucienneff: Vladimir Ivanov Vogue China Magazine “Match...

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:01:46 -0500

bontoms:lucienneff: Vladimir Ivanov Vogue China Magazine “Match Print” by Alexi Lubormiski- I900

I want a sofa in this material.

via greenglasslove Please temper your sentimentality. I’m...

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 11:00:47 -0500

via greenglasslove

Please temper your sentimentality.

I’m not trying to be some sort of proscriptive emotional ogre trying to tell you how to interpret your own life. But all of this devotion, all of this fervor, this constant allusion to the one, finding the one, the one person romantically engineered by the cosmos for you and only you is self-defeating. And it is bullshit. There are about a bajillion people out there you could be happy with, ESPECIALLY if you are straight. If you are reading this right now, you and I could probably move in together and get along pretty well. If you’re gay, BONUS!

There is something to be said for realizing that pair-bonding is an important part of life, looking for someone that makes you laugh and listens to you when you speak, and not waiting around forever for something better. If you go into this with open eyes, you won’t feel so fucked up by it later.

Dehydrated grapes give my life meaning.

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 16:39:56 -0500

They are my raisin d’être.

via ifonlytony, coitusmagazine Porn. And I’ll tell you...

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:59:59 -0500

via ifonlytony, coitusmagazine

Porn.

And I’ll tell you why. Look at that look in their eyes. You can almost feel the fuck about to happen, the way you feel a room start to get colder. I’ve been around people who look at each other like that and NOT heeded the warnings and things. got. weird.

Incidentally, my secret wish is to sneak this picture, which is totally SFW and tasteful, into a Christian Living Magazine, under the caption “Some boys like to play dress up. Some boys like to dress up like Elton John.”

Amazin' Gaysian: The Playboy deck of cards story

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:21:08 -0500

Amazin' Gaysian: The Playboy deck of cards story:

Reading this warm, fuzzy story reminded me of the Playboy deck of cards story — one of my favorites.

I was 16 or 17 and hated my brother, Patrick, for no other reason than we were 16 months apart and he was going through his jackass phase (which, for the record, is still ongoing).

Our youngest brother, Quincy (who was maybe 10 at the time), told me that Patrick was showing him his Playboy deck of cards. This infuriated me because I’ve always been particularly overprotective of both Quincy and our sister, Skye.

So I took the deck of cards and gave some to Skye, some to Quincy and I took the rest. I instructed both of them to hide them all over the house, and I did the same.

Pat came home from his friend’s house, and was greeted by me.

“Paaaatrick! We’ve hidden your special deck of cards,” I said, with a shit-eating grin.

“I am going to kill you,” he growled.

“Ohhh, I don’t think you have time for that. You see, Mom gets home in 20 minutes. That gives you 20 minutes to find 52 cards. I think you better get started,” I said while tapping my watch.

I’ve never seen him move that fast in his entire life.

Best. scavenger. hunt. ever.

Thing One: That following hot conservative boys around thing is my LIFE.

Thing Two: If we followed boys to the same conservative southern university, I will pee. So... ever spent four years in Waco blowing conflicted Baptists? 'Cause I totally haven't. O:-)

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:20:00 -0500

You know those weirdos that like, STAND, through all their football games? I’m one of them.

I swear to GAWWWWD if I ever get another degree from this state, it will be from Austin.

Also (I just caught that last part, at first I thought it was bowling, which makes no sense) my experience was blowing a lot of “Bisexual” Christian Guys. Just something about frayed baseball caps with hooks on them, desperation, and shame did it for me.

What? I let my boner make all my educational decisions.

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:15:03 -0500

IS THAT NOT HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT????

Not majoring in Psychology, that was my decision. I mean, the Psych building was shaped like a jock strap, but that not why I studied there.

I enjoy the subject.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I was a creeper.

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:07:25 -0500

I followed a guy to a Conservative Southern University to try to get in his pants.

razzmons replied to your post : In reference to THEATER NERD STORY TIME!!! Julius! Yes! That makes...

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:50:00 -0500

razzmons replied to your post : In reference to THEATER NERD STORY TIME!!!

Julius! Yes! That makes sense! And no, I think too highly of you to ever even consider you and Joey together. And yes! knife-time poetry night. I’ve kept that in the back of my mind to add some script at some point. It will be epic…

A Word On Joey:

Joey is this short little disco queen Sam and I both knew back in High School. I met this boy in the 6th grade, he carried a Wizard of Oz lunch box to school, he and I would bitch each other out every day. We were both widely considered to be gay (because we were) but Joey was putting in overtime.

Anyway, we both joined theater, and he always despised me because I got all the leading man roles. In retrospect I wish I had included Joey in one of the terrible plays I directed in High School (one of which was called The Flight of the Broken Angel and I swear I don’t know how my parents sat through it. It was MEL! O! DRAMATIC!) I wish I had tried to mold Joey into the actor I thought he could be. He was a goofy actor, but I think that was because he was afraid to be vulnerable in front of other people. The strongest thing he would ever have had to draw on would be the experience of being trapped in a closet only he could see. Actors are perceptive; we can see the mechanics of your emotional preparation.

One time he wore a sailor costume for some reason and it was AWKWARD. All the straight folks were looking at me like I was supposed to say something.

THEN HE MOVED TO NEW YORK! AND NOW HE’S THE DISCO QUEEN HE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE!

HAPPY ENDING!!!

JOEY UPDATES FROM SAM!!!

razzmons replied to your post:razzmons replied to your post : In reference to…

He’s wanted to meet up a couple of times to have lunch, but I’ve never gone through with it, but one time, Rickey saw him on the street, & Rickey scampered away to avoid being seen. He felt bad, but he anticipated the great awkwardness.

It should be noted that the response of Ricky, Sam’s Common Law Boyfriend, is pretty typical. Joey had this way of creeping on straight guys pretty flagrantly. Considering the fact that he was still insisting he was straight, it was a pretty fucked-up sight to see.

If Ricky had talked to Joey, I can imagine him picking up one of Ricky’s eyelashes with his fingers and insisting Ricky make a wish. That is the kind of creeper we’re dealing with.

In reference to THEATER NERD STORY TIME!!! I have two questions/comments:

1. Remember that time we talked in the Coffee Talk voice for like a week straight? That came back to bite me in the ass when I first moved to Jersey. Every now and then I would slip into that voice a little bit and I had to learn to fight with every fiber in my being not to let it take over. shiver

2. Who was this extra you got to 2nd base with?! I’m assuming it was during Guys and Dolls, cause what other show did we ever do that had ‘extras’, but I can’t even begin to remember who all was in that show…Who was it?!

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:13:30 -0500

1. OMG YEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!! Remember when that guy with a knife came and you saved the day with reasoning and logic, while Harold was trying to start a fight and I was working up some terrible plan about one of the shovels in the back? Thank God for you Samantha or we would have been DEAD.

2. Remember that super flamboyant black dude, Julius? He was in band, color guard, was one of the extras for G&D? He was the first guy I ever kissed. But I had this one cue I kept missing in the middle, and I was like NO SEXYTIME CAN WAIT IMPORTANT BUSINESS and then he didn’t like me anymore. Because I was a man of principal.

Who did you think it was, Joey? Ewwww.

It didn't help that that is exactly how I put it at the time.

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:50:00 -0500

As we stood on the back of the stage behind the thick velvet blackout curtain, hands down each other’s pants getting, like, REEEEEEAAAAALLLLLYYYY grabby down there, and he growled in my ear “Let’s go in the dressing room. Nobody’s in there.” to which I responded (WHILE STILL GROPING HIM) “Oh, I got a cue in like 3 minutes.”

Why didn’t he let me grope him, ever again? WHY???

fuckthisshitttttt:fuckyeahwondershowzen THEATER NERD STORY...

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:32:00 -0500

fuckthisshitttttt:fuckyeahwondershowzen

THEATER NERD STORY TIME!!!

I developed a reputation in High School for putting on wigs and doing impressions. I was famously loathe to break character for any reason, and some days I’d try to see how long I could go without having to speak in my normal voice.

There is a lot of downtime in theater. In between rehearsing and staging you have time while things dry, and spend time amusing each other. Once I found an old wig in the back and put it on, because at that point in my life I would just put an old wig on my head, consequence be damned, and go with it. This was a short, blonde wig, and I started telling my classmates that my husband and I had founded the Christian Miracle Network to help all the poor slobs out there that didn’t know Jesus.

My theater director comes out and gives me a ten minute lecture on respecting other people’s beliefs and I was shamed into silence for a few minutes. Lots of good memories in that theater room: telling jokes, playing games, getting to 2nd base with an extra during rehearsal. And even though he wanted to go to 3rd in the dressing room, I didn’t let it get any farther than that.

I had a stage cue to meet.

shaneblog: Never before have I seen an expression so clearly...

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:04:01 -0500

shaneblog:

Never before have I seen an expression so clearly read, “Oh, shit; not again.”

(via yhf & shitdisco)

"Hi, Kitty!"

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:14:00 -0500

“Hi, Kitty!”

- Pippa via librarianpirate

When I first read that I imagined Pippa in pearls and a floor-length satin robe - the kind with feathers on the edges (I guess floor-length is anything when you’re a baby)? Maybe with a tiara on her head from a beauty pageant she won in a past life, before she was led astray by that handsome actor from Paris (How old is this baby, Garland?), holding a tumblr of sotch, leaning against the bannister, and declaring through her smudged makeup

“HELLO KITTY!”

as you walk in the door, and you’re like Pippa’s out of her crib and DRINKING, what?

I guess the point of this was: Your kids are awesome. And also, sometimes we get really funny images in our heads when we read a quote, (possibly related to our recently finished “Joan Crawford” phase) we realize those images are off base, and then we laugh about them.

‘CAUSE I’M NERDCORE LIKE THAT: Toward a Subversive Geek Identity

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:50:13 -0500

‘CAUSE I’M NERDCORE LIKE THAT: Toward a Subversive Geek Identity:

emilyswash:

I apologize, I’m sorry. I’m going off-script here, committing blasphemies, getting my swish all over nerd culture. Obviously my nerd identity developed in a separate warehouse from my queer identity, the two are totally and completely distinct. (Nothing queer about pages upon pages of men dressing in skin-tight costumes and wrestling each other – CLEARLY that’s the butchest sentence I’ve ever written!) Because when I talk about the ways my queer and nerd identities are interconnected, I subvert the heteronormative standard. As a gay man, I simply don’t possess enough cachet within nerd culture to complicate the narrative with my intersectionality. For nerd culture is serious business.

Serious Business.

britisshameless Sign you should probably stop reading the...

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 15:03:00 -0500

britisshameless

Sign you should probably stop reading the comments section: you can identify Mansplaining by the shape of the paragraphs. Solid and robust, long - owing to a deluge of undigested privilege, punctuated by the shitty misapplication of science, intended to prove, once and for all, that men and women are “just different.” Opened with the writer’s first name coupled with an admonishment i.e. “Amanda what you don’t seem to realize-” as if he’s finally going to tell her THE WAY THINGS ARE. A joke two or three sentences in, or what he intends to be a joke (“If I ran my [Construction Company/Junk Yard/MANLY PROFESSION] that way, I’d be run out of town!”), a false analogy, an anecdote about the women in his life, which shows the reader how blithely he must sail through a gauntlet of eye-rolling women, who are supremely tired of his shit, but who don’t take him seriously enough to engage him directly.