Greater Than Two

To our one-year-olds

2010-10-07T01:08:00.000-07:00

Dear my precious boys, Asher and Felix:

I can hardly believe this day has come - you are one-year olds! No longer babies, but toddlers. I remember so clearly having you both in my tummy, and seeing and feeling your nightly dance parties. I wondered whether my rib would ever recover after having four feet dance upon it! The day you were born, I could not even imagine how we were going to survive with two tiny babies. We not only survived, but flourished. Your daddy and I feel so so blessed to have you both - we say it to each other every day. Your dad loves to say, "Can you imagine how boring it would be to just have one baby?" We love to watch you play together, or even use each other to climb up something you're not supposed to!

Asher - you are our little man! At age one, you are 32 inches long (75th%ile) and weigh 19.8 pounds (10th%ile). You may be destined to be tall and skinny - is basketball in your future? You are taking some steps by yourself (about 4 at a time), and you love to walk around by holding on to furniture or our hands. Your current favorite game is to put toys/balls in any box or container or bigger toy - mommy appreciates the help cleaning up! You have developed a bit of a temper over the last few weeks - you are not shy about yelling when you don't like something (like staying still to change your diaper or get dressed)! But, you're quick to smile big if mommy makes funny noises or plays Peekaboo, or if daddy holds you upside down and tickles you. Your personality is ever changing and we are excited to see how you continue to grow and change!

Felix - you are the bigger, but younger, man! You are also 32 inches tall (75th%ile) and you weigh 21 1/2 pounds (40th%ile). As you can see, you like to eat more than your brother does! You love to walk around, and although you can take up to 7 steps on your own, you can really move if you're holding on to something with one hand - you basically can run around the room! You love it when I play chase with you - as soon as I say, "I'm gonna get you!" you give me a big smile and crawl away as fast as you can. You are very attached to me, and you will cry easily if you see me and I don't pick you up. You also don't like it when your brother is upset, and you will even try to hug him if he's crying. You have developed a very sweet temperament, and we look forward to seeing how you continue to change!

We had so much fun at your birthday party! We had the party at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and it was perfect! The weather was gorgeous, and there was lots for you to see and explore! Asher, you loved eating your birthday barn cake, and Felix loved playing with his! It was such a perfect way to celebrate the big day!

We love you more than words can say boys! Year 2, here we come!

Goodbye summer

2010-09-09T04:47:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been over a month since my last blog post! Yikes! I obviously need to put "write blog" on my schedule :)

Well, the official first day of autumn is in a few weeks, and although I am looking forward to a break in the heat, I am sorry to see summer go - we have traveled a lot, done some insane home improvement projects, but have also had lots of time to relax at home. (Once again, I am so thankful for my job - not only does it pay our bills and provide a mental challenge and professional fulfillment for me, but it allows me to be home at a reasonable hour during the school year and stay home most of the summer to be with my kids! Who could ask for more?)

Anyway, with summer coming to a close, it hit me that the babies have changed a lot over the summer! They are almost 1-year old now (gasp!) and they are doing something different and new every day.

At the beginning of the summer, neither of the boys were crawling or standing independently yet, and Asher wasn't pulling to stand or cruising. Now they are both lightning fast crawlers, stand and squat independently, cruise on anything they can get their hands on, and climb up the stairs independently (as well as try to climb on or under anything else they can). Baby gates and the play yard (or BCA - baby containment area, as Eric calls it) are an absolute necessity!

BCA

Asher crawling

Felix cruising

At the beginning of the summer, both of the boys were still primarily mouthing their toys (or anything else they could grab). While they still like to put things in their mouths, they are also doing some functional play, like shaking maracas, "driving" a toy car, and rolling a ball back and forth.

At the beginning of the summer, they were just beginning to understand "No" but didn't seem to understand/use other words. Now they are beginning to say "dada" when they see Eric (no "mama" yet!), and seem to also understand words like daddy, mommy, Asher/Felix, doggy, duckie, book, jump, and dance. It is so fun to say "Jump, jump!" to Asher and see him "jump" (which for him is basically quickly squatting over and over).

At the beginning of the summer, their finger foods consisted mainly of Puffs (with other foods thrown in here and there), and the vast majority of their nutrition came from formula. Now, about half of their nutrition comes from finger foods - they can feed themselves chunks of soft fruits, cooked vegetables, meats, crackers, etc. They also feed themselves formula from a sippy cup (rather than a bottle) for two meals during the day - and mommy is very excited for the day when both formula and bottles will be a thing of the past! We have purchased our LAST canisters of formula from Sam's Club, and once those are gone, we are on to whole milk!

Personalities have even changed over the summer - Asher has always been the quiet, passive, observant one, while Felix was almost the opposite. Well, that has changed! Asher has come out of his shell, so to speak - he is all over the place, constantly moving and exploring, and is no longer "passive" at all, especially with his brother! He is the one taking toys/books away from Felix, using him to climb on, or grabbing his hair. Felix, on the other hand, has become really affectionate - always wanting to be carried or snuggling in my lap. And they both get jealous when the other one is getting attention! But the best development is that they are now playing and laughing with each other, which is just amazing to witness!

Time truly is flying by, as all parents say it does. We are trying to enjoy every minute, and look forward to each new stage!

Family Reunion

2010-08-04T00:10:00.000-07:00

So, it has taken me like 3 weeks to write this...at least it's getting written!

On July 17th, we attended the Bourne family reunion in Lyons, NY. This is my mother's side of the family, and I am embarrassed to say that I haven't seen many of these people in ten years (or more). But, some of my cousins had never even met each other, so at least I had met everyone! In attendance were my mother (and myself, Eric, our kids, my sister Maggie and her two children, Sebastian and Lily); her brother David (and his three children and their children, step-children, doggies, and spouses); her brother Paul (and his two sons and ex-wife); her sister Nancy (and her husband, daughter, son + girlfriend); and my cousins Kelly (and her husband Lee and daughters, Mandy and Bridget), Nora (and her husband), and Molly (and her husband and daughter, Shealynn) - their mother, my mom's sister Maryann, passed away a few years ago. Hosting the shebang was my aunt Patti (my uncle David's ex-wife) and her boyfriend. It was quite the showing! We enjoyed time in the sun (and shade!), looking at old pictures, catching up, talking about our new lives, and eating delicious food from Dinosaur BBQ (a Syracuse staple). Hopefully we can get together more often than every ten years!

Felix havin' fun

Sebastian working on his swing

Asher and Nani

Felix and aunt Maggie

Cousins

My other sister, Kathryn, couldn't make it to the reunion because she got lost! But, she had the chance to meet the boys briefly the next day, with her husband Tom.

Feeding Felix

Just hanging out

Of course, a "family reunion" wouldn't be complete without a visit to aunt Tracy's house! Tracy and I have known each other since 2nd grade, and she has always been like a sister to me (we call each other's mothers "mom")! This was the first time she has met the babies too, so it was a special day! I got to see her little girl, Seren, and couldn't believe how big and wonderful and brilliant she is already!

Tracy brings out everybody's smiles!

Check out Seren's cool chair!

The boys had a great time meeting all of their extended family members! When we got back, we even had the chance to get together with Eric's parents and their other grandkids, Jeremy and Juliet, who were visiting from Chicago. So the boys got to meet some more cousins! They are so lucky to have so many wonderful family members who love them!

Flying with infants

2010-07-23T00:32:00.000-07:00

Like most parents, I was apprehensive to fly with the babies. But, since I had a family reunion in NY last weekend, it was either bite the bullet and fly, or bite the bullet and drive - neither an ideal situation. The clincher was that if I drove I would be going it alone, and if I flew Eric could come with us. Since I have done some semi-long road trips by myself already (the longest being 5 hours), and I literally injured my right shoulder by constantly reaching back to both carseats giving toys, sippy cups, and snacks to stave off double baby meltdowns, I decided that a solo drive of up to 12-14 hours (without stops!) would be enough to send me over the edge. So, we took out a second mortgage on the house and reserved our plane tickets and rental car.

When choosing which flight to take, we had two choices: fly during naptime or bedtime. Either one was a gamble - babies can be cranky when a nap is missed, or when going to bed late. In a perfect world, neither would be an issue: the baby would sleep peacefully on the plane, and maybe even while leisurely strolling around the airport. We chose, for many reasons, to fly at night - one, because of flights available; two, because of Eric's work schedule; and three, because we have observed that the babies are usually more pleasant when going to bed late than when missing a nap. Still, the flights were quite late at night, so we were gambling that they would be able to sleep in the airport/on the plane.

I tried to be as prepared as possible - we were able to ship things (diapers, jars of baby food) to NY so that we did not have a check a bag (since they now charge for that as well); we had formula and bottles for airport/plane feedings; we had organic fruit pops for take-off and landing to help with little ears; we had emergency snacks; we had books and toys and several pacifiers; we had plenty of diapers and changes of clothes; we gate checked our monstrosity double stroller and had Baby Bjorns to hold the boys on the plane to keep our hands free; we paid a little extra for "Choice" seats so that we could sit across the aisle from each other (two lap infants cannot sit in the same row due to the number of oxygen masks) and near the front of the plane so we could get on and off more quickly.

But, as is often the case, the best preparation does not always matter! On the flight from RDU to CLT, we boarded the plane about 30 minutes late due to an indicator light that needed to be checked. We then proceeded to sit on the plane for over 30 more minutes for who-knows-what reason. This of course meant that we were late arriving in Charlotte. We were told to check with the gate agent for our departure gate to Syracuse. We did so, and the agent informed us that we would be flying out of D9 and that it was delayed 25 minutes. This was blessed news, since we needed to use the restroom, change the babies, and find something for dinner. Now, I will just mention once that I did say that we should go and check our gate to make sure of the delay, just in case this guy was mistaken, but this suggestion was vetoed by the hungrier partner of Team Gavaletz. So, we went about our business, got something to eat, and took turns eating and strolling the boys to keep them happy. On the way back to the gate, I just glanced at the departure screen to make sure our flight was still leaving out of the same gate, and it was. The only problem is, it also was not delayed. The words "ON TIME" were never a negative thing to me before. The flight was scheduled to leave at 10:09 pm and it was in fact 10:08 pm. We ran the rest of the way, and the gate was decidedly empty. A nearby agent said they were gone and pointed us in the direction of guest services.

I will skip over the next several minutes/hours, where Eric apologized profusely for not listening to his all-knowing wife (or something like that) and I tried not to cry in the middle of the airport, and we re-reserved seats for the next afternoon and arranged for his sister to borrow car seats from a neighbor with twins to come and get us for the night (his family lives 15 minutes away, thank God). It all worked out in the end - we did not have to sleep on the floor of the airport, we got to spend time with Eric's grandmother, and we eventually got on another flight to SYR.

Of course, that flight was not without difficulty either. After the entire plane boarded, the captain announced that we would be remaining at the gate (with the power turned off to save fuel) because lightning was spotted in the area and ground crew cannot be on the tarmac during lightning. Once we finally began moving, we were 15th in line for takeoff. This all meant that we ended up taking off about when we were supposed to be landing.

Now, I know sitting on a plane, not making any progress, is not fun for anyone. But being in this position while holding a 9 month old baby is so much more than not fun. Don't get me wrong - as babies go, ours are quite good-natured. But they still required constant stimulation to keep them quiet and happy, and sitting for an extra hour or more on the plane was enough to make me want to NEVER fly again. At least not with kids. And our babies really didn't fuss that much! It's just exhausting to be the sole entertainer for that amount of time! The flight time is one thing - I was prepared for that. But to add on an extra hour of just sitting - with no motion, no white noise, no nothing to help induce sleep! You have to keep introducing new toys every few minutes (or less) to keep them interesting, to read the same book over and over, to try to catch every toy or pacifier that he decides to drop at any given moment. Even when the baby was sleeping, I couldn't sleep because I kept picturing us hitting some turbulence and the baby flying up to the ceiling because I wasn't holding on tight enough while sleeping. (Did you know that the TSA says that you cannot "wear" your baby in a carrier for take off and landing, only during the cruising portion of the flight? This doesn't make any sense to me. It seems to me that the carrier would act as a sort of seatbelt.)

But, eventually, we made it to NY. (More on the visit later.) On the way back, we were more blessed with on time departures, no missed flights, etc. However, the return trip didn't start out too well - not only was there a gigantic line for security (and since SYR is a tiny airport, there were no "family lines", which are the best idea EVER), but the lovely TSA agents were obviously in a perpetual bad mood about living in one of the cloudiest cities in America (I can say that because I'm from there:)). They were rude, unhappy, and using their "power" for evil. We had 14 jars of baby food left over from the box I had shipped to NY (we had this much because we missed an entire day due to the missed flight), and since we did not check a bag, these were in our carry on bags. They were vacuum sealed, obviously brand new, and the TSA website does not specify how much baby food you can carry on, only that it be a "reasonable amount." Now, putting aside the fact that it's ridiculous to have a limit on how much food you carry for your child, we tried to explain to them that we were traveling with two babies for 7 or more hours, and that we missed a flight on the way there and did not have food - and since the airport does not sell baby food ( or diapers), we thought 14 jars was a reasonable amount. But, they did not share our view. So, not only did they throw out half of our food (the supervisor said, arbitrarily, that 6 jars was the limit he would allow - but someone else allowed 8, so you can see how hard and fast their rules are...) but they subjected Eric to an extensive personal search - why we don't really know. They claimed it was because they could not open the jars to know if they were safe (without spoiling the food), but the funny thing was they asked us which one of us wanted to be searched - does that make any sense? If one of us were dangerous or had some ill intent, would that person volunteer to be searched? All in all, it was a stressful way to start the journey back home, but luckily the rest of the trip was uneventful and we were happy to be back home!

Beach fun (Part 2)

2010-07-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

When we returned from our trip to NJ, we had some visitors waiting - my dad and stepmother drove down from NY to visit with us and meet the boys for the first time! They had tried to get down here for Christmas, but ended up being canceled and re-routed (and staying two nights in various airport hotels) and so didn't make it. But, we were so happy they were able to make it now!

We started the week with a trip to our favorite weekend morning destination - Weaver Street Market - for a picnic breakfast. The boys warmed up to Grandpa immediately!

So, who are you?

I love you Grandpa!

We then took the boys for a swim for the first time in a non-kiddie pool! They loved their floats and had a blast!

After a few days hanging out at our house, we took a short (5 hour) drive to Kitty Hawk, NC to hang out at the beach. This time, it was just mommy and the boys on the drive, which was an adventure! Sorry, no pictures were taken - we were just trying to make it to the beach without a major incident! I think I permanently injured my right shoulder by constantly reaching back to the car seats to give toys and snacks so we wouldn't have to stop! But, the beach was great fun once again!

On Saturday, Eric drove down to the beach to meet us (he had been in NJ for a conference while we were soakin' up the sun) and we drove down the road to Nags Head to spend the weekend with our friends, Carolyn and Rich, and three of Rich's adorable kids. It was so nice to catch up with them and relax (as much as one can with a house full of five kids)! Grandpa and Martha also got to hang out a bit at the house:

Of course we had to hang out at the beach too, so daddy could have the chance to see the boys play in the sand!

We had a wonderful trip, but we were all exhausted by the end...

...and ready to be home!

Beach fun (Part 1)

2010-07-08T23:34:00.000-07:00

Asher

Felix

We have had a very busy first summer! At the end of June, I took the boys up to Ocean City, NJ to visit with my dear friends from my time in South Korea (I can't believe that was 7 years ago!!). Luckily, our friend Alysa graciously offered to come with me to help with the long trip - I couldn't have done it without her! We left on Thursday and drove to Fredricksburg, VA to stay the night. The boys had fun in their first hotel room!

Asher

Boys and their toys

Felix and Aunt Alysa

Sleeping in the hotel cribs

They did quite well in the car - due to the ever present traffic on that stretch of 85N and 95N, the drive on Thursday was 5 hours and on Friday it was about 7. Imagine being strapped in a car seat for that long!! Luckily we had ready access to what we affectionately call "baby crack" (ie, Gerber Puffs) which usually worked to quell any tears! If that didn't work, we undoubtedly needed to stop for a diaper change, which often meant a quick stop on the side of the road or in a parking lot (so many restaurants do not have changing tables!).

Once at our destination (Aimee's parents' house on the beach), the boys had a great time meeting all the new people (they met three aunts - Aimee, Kim, and Patty - in one day!) and playing with their new friend, Nathan, who is only about a month younger than the boys. It was so interesting to see how differently babies develop! The twins were a bit more mobile than Nathan, but he had some awesome tricks that the boys still need to learn - he can clap, and he can even dance if you play music (or even just hum)! Nathan graciously shared his toys and gear with the boys all weekend. They had fun together, particularly on the beach!

The water was still too cold to venture in (judging by the immediate tears we got when we poked their toes in - the temp was only 64 degrees, so I don't blame them!) but they did a lot of playing in (and trying to taste) this new stuff called sand!

They even took a snooze on the beach, which meant I had some relaxing beach time as well!

We were sad to have to leave, but we took a few nice group pictures (including our traditional circle picture - with a few additions) to remember the weekend. Looking forward to even more fun next year girls!

Next post: our trip to the Outer Banks!

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-21T01:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Eric's first Father's Day, and we had such a wonderful weekend celebrating it! The festivities started bright and early on Saturday morning, when we all took a trip to Carrboro for the farmer's market and a picnic breakfast at Weaver Street Market. We try to do this every weekend that we can because we feel so at home in Carrboro (it's where we lived when we were dating/engaged) and because it's such a relaxing way to begin the weekend. We got some great veggies at the market (lettuce, eggplant, tomatoes) and then had a nice breakfast on the lawn of WSM - the boys enjoyed a vegan sweet potato muffin and some apple juice :) When we got home, we just hung around the house and played on the floor with the babies together - something we hardly ever have the chance to do because there is always a house project or school project to be done. But, I am happy to say that absolutely nothing got done this weekend! After many hours of playing and napping, we decided to take daddy out for dinner. The babies haven't been out to dinner since they were tiny, because we didn't want to disrupt bedtime. But, we took a chance, and decided to see how it would go. Luckily, they had a blast! We went to our favorite pizza place, and had some delicious slices (and a free beer for Eric, bought by the owner) while the boys played and flirted with the other customers. It was their first time in restaurant high chairs!

After pizza, we sauntered down Franklin St. a bit and found a new frozen yogurt place, YoFruit (why one street needs like 3 frozen yogurt restaurants, I do not know). It was quite good, and one of their flavors was Original Tart, which was just made from plain yogurt, so the boys ate some (ok, a lot) of daddy's helping. They managed to stay awake all the way home (could be from the frozen yogurt...), and went to bed perfectly after a quick diaper and clothing change. Eric and I watched Sherlock Holmes (Daddy's Choice!) - well, he watched it, and I made it through about 3/4 of it:) What a great night!

The fun continued on Sunday. Eric came down to find a card the boys had gotten for him, and then we had biscuits and orange juice (us) and muffins and bottles (babies) for breakfast. For Eric's Father's Day gift, he got a new compressor and nail gun, and he used the compressor to quickly fill up our baby pool so the boys could take a dip. They really enjoyed it and say they're ready for a dip in the ocean this weekend!

The day was topped off by a yummy dinner of my Grandmother's famous sauce and meatballs - yum!

Happy Father's Day honey - it was such a fabulous weekend! We love you and are so proud of how hard you work - at work, school, home, and everything you do!

Independence

2010-06-21T00:44:00.000-07:00

It is summer now, so I have the wonderful opportunity to stay at home full time with the babies for a few months. (I am so thankful for my job at times like this!) This past week, I have spent many hours playing with the boys, and I find that I have to stop myself from doing things for them. They are able to do more and more on their own each day, and it is a conscious decision to let them try - whether it's crawling (or rolling) to get a desired toy, pulling to stand, finger feeding, trying to hold their own bottle ; sometimes it is easier for me to just do it for them - like when they are struggling to get to a toy that I could so easily hand to them - but I know that they need those experiences in order to learn new skills and independence. And, at the same time, mommy needs these experiences in order to learn to let go and give up control of everything! :) It's funny - I always tell the families that I work with to encourage their kids to do anything they can independently because it helps to build cognitive and adaptive skills, but it sure is hard to put into practice myself!

I love that I am home and can see firsthand something they learn to do - like when Felix picked up a Gerber Puff (I reluctantly say these are the boys' favorite snack) and didn't just hold it in his hand, but put it in his mouth; when Asher systematically emptied the toy basket (by removing each toy or by dumping it) and then experimented by looking at toys through its little window; when Felix learned to independently move from laying down to sitting; when Asher tried to pull to stand like his brother; when I found Felix standing up in his crib for the first time; and when Asher pulled the blanket closer to him so he could reach a toy that was on it. I feel so blessed to have this time with the boys, and as they learn, I learn from them everyday!

What? Isn't this how we play with the Exersaucer?

Look what I can do all on my own!

We're in trouble

2010-06-07T21:58:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Felix started pulling to stand. If he was near anything stationary, he grabbed it, and pulled with all his might until he was standing. At that time, he also began taking a few steps while holding onto our hands. (With Aunt Alysa, he decided it would be fun to take steps backwards...just keeping her on her toes:)) Then, just a few nights ago, he pulled to stand on a toy piano...and started pushing it forward and walking behind it! I kept trying to catch it on video, but he still was pretty unsteady and could only take a few steps before falling. But, yesterday evening I caught this video of his longest trek yet.

I will just reiterate this, because I keep hearing it - yes, he is only 8 months old. And yes - we're in trouble.

First summer begins

2010-06-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

Asher

Felix

Over Memorial Day weekend, we were able to take the boys and one of the dogs (thanks to Thea and family who took in the other two pups!) to our friend's family's house in Edenton, NC. The house is wonderful, and is right on the river, with a little private beach area and everything. This was the babies' first "vacation" trip, and they did wonderfully. They are pros at long car trips by now, and usually either sleep, look out the windows, or play with their toys. There were about 7 adults staying there that weekend, and they actually didn't show any signs of stranger anxiety - so maybe that stage has already passed! We brought a quilt and a basket of toys and set up shop in the livingroom, and they were content to play pretty much all day. We did try to bring them down to the water one afternoon, but it was probably bad timing because they skipped their last nap that afternoon (too busy playing and socializing), so Felix wasn't really feeling the water.

Asher wasn't thrilled either, but at least he could keep his feet in the water without crying!

Since Eric is (or was when he had a spare moment in his life) an avid surfer, he really hopes the boys will take to the ocean eventually. But, if they're like me, they will prefer bodies of water which don't include creatures that can bite you :) Hey, even Cody had to be coaxed to take a swim!

It was a great start to the boys' first summer, and I am so looking forward to what else we have in store! (Spoiler alert - road trip to the Jersey Shore in late June, airplane ride to Syracuse in mid-July!)

PS - Happy 8 month birthday to the babies today! It seems like I have blinked and they are 8 months old. They will be walking and talking soon - Felix is already pulling to stand on anything he can get his hands on, and both the boys are trying their hardest to crawl! I am OK if that particular milestone doesn't happen right away...I can't even imagine life once they are mobile...

What's the big deal, mom? Just leave the cupboards open for us to find new toys!

And - happy 3rd wedding anniversary to my hubby! I'm so blessed to have you - and two tiny clones of you too! :)

Stranger anxiety

2010-06-02T06:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, the babies have reached that age where a random adult ooh-ing and ah-ing over them is no longer met with an adorable toothless smile - it is now met with either a wide-eyed, open-mouthed (toothless for Asher and semi-toothless for Felix) stare, or a quivering lip and a loud wail. I understand that this is a normal part of development, and is quite adaptive evolutionarily speaking - it allows for good attachments to caregivers, and if babies didn't have this reaction they could easily be carted off by some menacing stranger at any time! And, when I see this reaction at church because well-meaning church-goers are leaning into the stroller and admiring the babies' big blue eyes, I don't get too bothered by it. But, it is difficult to see when they have this reaction to their grandma and grandpa...and aunt...and great-grandmother...and great-aunt and uncle...I know that most people don't take this reaction personally, but really how can you not when your own flesh and blood cries at the sight of you? We had this experience a few weekends ago when I took the babies to visit Eric's family (while he was stuck at home doing some much-needed home improvement). Now, the babies have spent a good amount of time around these people throughout their lives - they have seen them about 1-2 times per month for the last eight months. But, this was the first time that they cried and clung to mommy whenever someone spoke to them! This lasted for the whole first day that we were there. Luckily, by the second day, the babies were back to their cheerful, friendly selves, and enjoyed playing with their loving family members - which made me happy, not only because everyone feels better when a baby smiles at them, but because this gave my arms a break - I was having to carry both babies at the same time to keep them soothed and comfortable!

I know this is a short stage of development, and I am hoping that it has passed by the time the babies and I are visiting my family in NY this summer! Considering the babies have not met anyone up there yet, that could make for a stressful time!

Just give me watermelon, and I'll love you!

Video Monday

2010-05-17T09:25:00.000-07:00

First Mother's Day

2010-05-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

Happy belated Mother's Day to all you mothers! I am so lucky to have a wonderful mother and a mother-in-law in my life, and I feel soo blessed to be able to be called a mother this year. This is my new favorite holiday!! I was able to sleep in on Sunday morning because Eric handled the early morning (5:45am) feeding. The babies brought me their very own gifts in bed at around 8:00, before their morning nap. They each were proud to hold their own gift bag, and were reluctant to let them go so I could have them. I was pleased to see they know me so well already - two of my favorite candy bar (Caramello) and my one additive vice (Burt's Bees chapstick). Plus, they know I have my hands full, so they also were so thoughtful and got me one of those bluetooth phone ear pieces that makes people look schizophrenic:). They had fun laughing hysterically at the tissue paper for several minutes, and then we all took a nice nap. When we got up, Eric made me homemade waffles for breakfast. Yum! We all played for awhile, then took a family trip to the mall, although I didn't find anything. Then it was back home for a quick lunch (Jimmy John's sandwiches for mommy and daddy; formula, oatmeal, and veggies for the babies), and then I got ready for my ladies' night out. I had a great night with some girlfriends for dinner, drinks, and the Wicked show! When I got home late in the evening, Eric sent me to bed and stayed up to clean diapers and wash dishes. It was a fabulous day, and I am looking forward to next year!

Weaning

2010-05-08T06:49:00.000-07:00

Seven months and two days after beginning, the babies made the decision to stop nursing. I really never thought that the decision to stop wouldn’t be my own – but I guess that was my first experience with baby autonomy. I am sad though. Even though nursing was never necessarily easy for me with twins, I really enjoyed so much about nursing. It felt awesome that my body produced such wonderful food for them that gave them a great start in life and kept them healthy. I loved the closeness I felt with the babies when I nursed them. I loved that I could calm them when they were fussy just by nursing. It wasn’t easy, and it was sometimes even stressful, but I truly loved this part of early parenting and I will miss it.

I was lucky and never experienced blocked ducts, mastitis, thrush, or any of the many ailments that can come with breastfeeding. What I did experience was a major supply deficit. I never really was able to produce enough for the babies. I think there was a span of a few weeks when they didn’t need formula supplementation, but other than that they have been getting both breast milk and formula for their whole lives. Many things early on happened to affect my milk supply:

Number one, I had two babies. I know some women who are superstar milk producers and made enough to feed their babies only breast milk, but the majority of moms of multiples I know also used formula. It was, of course, my hope to exclusively breastfeed, but once I found out we were having twins I was more open to the possibility of formula. That’s what it’s there for, after all!

Number two, I had premature babies. Luckily, they weren’t too early, but even late-term preemies like ours can have difficulty being efficient nursers, and mine definitely were inefficient at first. It took until about their due date for them to really get the hang of it, which makes sense. But, that also means that we had about 4 weeks of not-so-great nursing.

Number three, I caught H1N1 a few days after having the babies. The CDC’s position at that time was that nursing mothers should not nurse with H1N1, but should just pump and feed breast milk through a bottle. So, for the two weeks or so, I wasn’t able to feed on demand, which is what really builds your supply.

I tried just about every method out there to build up my supply, barring prescription drugs (which exist but the potential side effects made the potential benefits not seem worth it). I took Fenugreek capsules for much of the babies’ lives, which means that I smelled like maple syrup for a few months. I drank Mother’s Milk Tea (3-5 cups daily) for the last few months – you really acquire a taste for black licorice with that stuff. I ate constantly, and drank like 100 oz of water everyday. I tried oatmeal, and I tried dark beer. I tried pumping boot camps (where you pump for 5 minutes, rest for 10 minutes, pump for 5 minutes, rest for 10 minutes, etc). When the babies began sleeping through the night, I went in to wake them up to nurse so that I could get an extra session in. When I went back to work, my supply dipped even more, and even though I pumped 2-3 times while at work, I still couldn’t bring it back up. I would want to cry (and sometimes would) when I saw how little I had to bring home in my little insulated bag. But, Eric would remind me that every drop counted to keep the boys healthy. During spring break, I was determined to have a nursing marathon week, where I would throw away the babies’ schedule and just feed them on demand and decrease their supplementation. This was a disaster. It’s easy to say you will do those things, but when you’re faced with two screaming, hungry babies, and your body won’t cooperate (i.e., it is not all of a sudden a fountain of breast milk just because you're on spring break), supplementation is necessary. At their six month checkup, the doctor told us that breast milk is most important before 6 months, and it sort of plateaus after that point. After the stressful “nursing marathon” I had done that week, I guess I grabbed on to that piece of information. I decided not to bring my pump to work on Monday. I was relieved to be finished with that part of things – it was annoying to carry, and set up, and try to find time throughout my day to pump 2-3 times. I nursed the boys in the morning before work, at dinner, and before I went to bed. This lasted about a month. Slowly my supply dipped even more, and I think that ultimately caused the boys to wean themselves. It was probably too much work for them for not a lot of reward.

I am sad to be finished, but I am trying to look on the bright side. For the last 7 months, I constantly stressed about my supply, and to be honest my self-esteem definitely suffered – why couldn’t I produce enough for my children? What was wrong with me? So, it is nice not to have these negative thoughts anymore. Then, nursing took a lot of time. I had to nurse and bottle feed (and later give solid food as well), at every feeding. And nursing with twins is not just popping the baby on your breast – it is getting your twin nursing pillow, some blankets to keep them on it, some pillows for underneath it. It is putting the babies in front of you within arms reach. It is heaving one onto the pillow, rolling a blanket next to him to keep him from rolling off, then heaving the second one on to the pillow, and doing the same. Then it is getting each one to latch, and managing to keep each one latched. It is running interference between them because they want to grab at everything, which includes each other's faces. Heaven help you if you have to burp one in between, while keeping the other one latched.

But, mostly, I am still sad to be finished. I had it in my mind that I would nurse until the babies were 1 year old. I probably would have even gone a little longer. I am disappointed that expectation was not met. I am sad that I will no longer get to pick up Felix when he wakes up too early on a Saturday morning, bring him in bed with me, and nurse him until we both fall back asleep. I really cherished those times. I am sad that I can no longer provide something uniquely mine for the babies. Not to be overly dramatic, but in a way, I guess I no longer feel as needed.

As I told Eric a few days ago, I guess we will just have to have another baby someday so I can nurse again…yikes, I guess it is time to go back and re-read the birth story so I get that idea out of my head...!

Eat Asher Eat

2010-04-21T02:34:00.000-07:00

As I have mentioned on this blog before, Asher is not a good eater. He started out his life that way, and has just continued on for the last 6 1/2 months. When he was born and taken to the NICU, he would have been able to leave after a few hours had he just eaten well - he took a long time to eat even a tiny amount of food, and even needed a NG tube once to get a feeding. While we haven't had to resort to such extreme measures since then, it has always been a constant struggle to get him to eat a full meal. He gets very distracted easily and will stop eating (and often not start again) if he is distracted - we actually try to feed him in complete silence just to avoid this! He will often just let milk run out of his mouth while eating, because he would rather smile at us or just look around the room at what is going on. He will also just flat out refuse to nurse or to take a bottle. The doctor suggested that we start solids around 4 1/2 months, and Asher has been more interested in those (thank goodness!). But, at this age, babies are still supposed to get most of their calories and nutrition from breastmilk or formula, so we have still been trying to get him to drink as much as he will. It has been very frustrating for us, especially since we have the polar opposite in his twin brother, who eats so well and would eat all day long if we let him! I guess this disparity in eating wouldn't bother us so much (after all, they are very different beings!) if Asher's weight didn't continue to fall further and further behind his brother's. When they were born, the boys were 1/2 lb different - at their 6 mo checkup, they were over 1 1/2 lb different. This in and of itself wouldn't bother me so much either, except that not only did the gap grow wider, but Asher's percentile dropped from the 5th (where he was since his 2 month checkup) to the 3rd.

So, although the boys' doctor was not very concerned (because he is still gaining weight and is developing normally), Eric and I were. So, I asked for a referral to a dietician to get some fresh ideas for how we can help him catch up. I took the boys to the appointment yesterday. After I squeezed the huge double stroller into the dietician's tiny office, she took notes on my concerns and what he eats in a typical day. She figured out how many calories a baby his age normally needs in a day (about 600), and then how much more he would need to eat in order to gain "catch up" weight (about 100 extra). Based on that, she suggested we prepare concentrated formula, so that he would get 28 calories per ounce (as opposed to the 20 cal/oz in regular formula). We had tried concentrated formula before, but not to that level. She also suggested we add 2-3 tsp of butter or vegetable oil to his food per day. I was very surprised to hear this suggestion! But, she assured me it was safe and healthy, and that even babies need fats (particularly a baby like Asher)! Lastly, she suggested we feed him more starchy vegetables (like white potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash, peas) as opposed to other fruits/veggies with fewer calories. Also, adding in more avocados would be good since they are so high in fats.

So, we are going to try all of those suggestions, and we'll see how he fares at his 9 month checkup. The dietician said this was a pretty aggressive plan, so it should work - he should gain 1 1/2 pounds per month. If it doesn't work...well, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it!

As long as we can get more food into his mouth than on his bib, we should be in good shape...

Six months!!

2010-04-06T04:47:00.000-07:00

The babies turned 6 months on April 2...and I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. How in the world has six months already passed?

They had their 6 month well child check up on their actual half birthday, which was last Friday (the day before my 29th birthday). Here are the stats as of that morning:

Asher - 14 pounds 4 ounces (3rd percentile); 26.5 inches long (~50th percentile)

Felix - 15 pounds 11 ounces (10th percentile); 26.5 inches long (~50th percentile)

Both boys are pretty tall and skinny, although as usual we are worried about Asher's weight. When he was born, he wasn't even on the growth chart for weight, and he has been gaining at a steady rate, so we shouldn't really be worried. However, when one identical twin is a pound and a half smaller than his brother, how can you not be concerned? At least we know why he's smaller...he started out smaller and he doesn't eat as much as his brother! He consistently eats just a little bit less than Felix, which definitely adds up over time. The doctor said all it would take for him to catch up would be 60 extra calories per day (about 3 ounces of formula or breastmilk). However, this is easier said than done with Asher! He's the king of letting milk run out of his mouth when he is done eating, so force-feeding isn't very effective (although we've tried)! But, we're going to keep trying, as well as increase his solid food intake because he eats that better than a bottle or breast. He's just ahead of his time, ready to be a big boy :)

For their six-month birthday, the boys got some new shades, and we got some cute pictures. Happy 1/2 birthday boys, we love you more than you know!

Mommy and Asher

Daddy and Felix

Green parenting

2010-03-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

When I first became pregnant, I had lofty goals for "green" parenting - I would use cloth diapers, buy only organic clothes and blankets, paint the nursery with no-VOC paints, breastfeed exclusively, make my own organic baby food, etc etc. Well, while some of that did not happen, I am proud to say that we stuck to a lot of this list! Here is what we do to lessen our parenting carbon footprint:

1) We have used cloth diapers since the boys were about 4 weeks old. Before that age, they were too small to fit into anything but preemie disposable diapers! Plus, I have to admit, Eric and I were too crazed and exhausted to think about cloth diapers before that point. But, the switch was relatively painless, and we have been very pleased with cloth diapering. This is the biggest step toward "green" parenting for us. Since one disposable diaper takes somewhere between 250-500 years to decompose, we couldn't imagine adding two babies' worth of diapers to the landfills for that amount of time. For the first few months, we used unbleached Indian prefolds with cute Bummis covers. When the babies grew out of those, we switched to the Motherease one-size diaper system and Litewrap covers, which they will stay in until they are potty-trained (which Eric hopes will be next week). Although we bought (or received as gifts) the prefolds and Bummis covers new, we bought the Motherease diapers used from a member of my Mothers of Multiples club, so that is even more green! Reduce and reuse people!

(Asher) Does this diaper make me look fat?

2) We bought a high-efficiency washer and dryer before the babies were born because we knew we would be increasing our laundry (by how much, we had no idea...) and wanted to save water and electricity.

3) Most of the boys' things are gently used hand-me-downs or purchases from second-hand stores or consignment shops - again, reduce and reuse! Most of their clothes, and a lot of their gear, were once lovingly used by other little boys and girls. This has saved us a LOT of money, but also plays a small part in reducing the manufacturing footprint.

(Asher) I love my used Exersaucer!

(Felix) Wait - someone else bounced in this seat before me?

4) Although I have been unable to breastfeed exclusively due to the high demand of twins, working full-time, and my body saying "You expect me to do whaaaaa?," I have worked very hard to keep up breastfeeding as much as I can - mostly for the babies' health, but also to decrease how much formula we have to buy (and thus has to be manufactured, packaged, shipped, etc). However, this particular area did not go as well as I planned, and we still have to buy a few HUGE canisters of formula from Sam's Club every month. On the bright side, by buying large canisters instead of several small ones, I guess we are saving on packaging? No?

5) I do make my own baby food, although I have to admit that it's not always organic. But, so far the babies have enjoyed tasty homemade pureed bananas (their favorite), sweet potatoes, and avocados. This is not only more nutritious for the babies, but it saves on the zillions of glass jars that we would be buying if we weren't making homemade!

(Asher, left; Felix, right) Yum - homemade avocado puree! Good thing we have that great washing machine!

6) We are avid users of our local library - we own several dozens of baby books, but I will shoot myself if I have to read any of those again! So, we borrow 25 books at a time and have an endless supply:) Saves my sanity, as well as paper:)

7) The babies ride in style in our Toyota Prius, which averages 50 mpg.

Of course, we are FAR from perfect (in the area of green parenting or any other area), and so these are the things we do that are not green (hm, I guess the opposite of green would be red? Red parenting?):

1) Like I mentioned above, we used disposables exclusively for the first 4 weeks. This amounts to hundreds of disposable diapers in the landfills. Also, we use disposables anytime we travel with the babies, simply for convenience and not having to carry around wet or dirty diapers. We also use disposable wipes. There are people who use washcloths as baby wipes. We are not that hardcore.

2) Of course, not all of the babies' things are used. We have bought, or received as gifts and happily accepted, many a new item.

(Asher) This thing was new, right?

3) We own only two organic cotton baby items (receiving blankets). They were received as gifts. Organic stuff is expensive. This goes for food as well.

4) We did not use no-VOC paint in the babies' nursery. Again, that stuff is expensive. (However, we painted several months before they were born in the hopes that it would off-gas before they were in there.)

5) While we do have a Toyota Prius, our other car is a Land Rover Discovery, which is like the anti-Prius. Unfortunately, we end up using the Discovery more with the babies because I can barely squeeze between their car seats if they're fussy in the Prius, not to mention the fact that a double stroller does not fit in the cargo area.

But, we do all that we can for our earth, and for our babies! We want their futures to be as bright as they are!

(Felix, left; Asher, right) We love being green!

Meet Felix Christopher

2010-03-08T19:48:00.000-08:00

(Same excuse here as with Asher's post...have been meaning to do a profile of each baby, but no time, no time, no time! These posts are taking me several days to write!)

Felix Christopher was born on 10/2/09 at 2:42 PM, six minutes after his brother. He weighed 5 lb 5 oz and was 19.5 inches long. He had spent the entire pregnancy moving, kicking, and flipping back and forth from vertex to breech and back again. I guess we should have expected the same activity during the birth! After Asher was born, the OB team went to work looking for Felix to make sure he was still heading head first. They saw him on ultrasound (he was still head first), but they could not find his heartbeat. The attending OB instructed the resident to place a monitor on his head to search for the pulse, but they still couldn't find it. No one was explaining anything to me - I was exhausted, shocked from the amount of pain I had just experienced giving birth to Asher, and terrified that I would have to repeat the whole thing over again! But then the atmosphere changed drastically when they couldn't find the heartbeat, and my worry switched from focusing on pain to preserving the life of my child. The attending OB announced to the room that all non-essential personnel must leave (there were dozens of people in there observing), I guess in case he needed to perform an emergency C-section. He ordered another resident to perform a vacuum extraction, and I pushed with all my might. He was out in no time, and I immediately began asking if he was OK. They reassured me that he was fine, and told me later that he dropped too quickly into the birth canal, so his heart rate dropped. They checked him over (APGAR scores of 9 at one and five minutes) and cleaned him off a bit. A nurse brought him to me while the doctors were repairing me. I remember that she commented on the fact that he had more hair on his back than on his head! He was wrapped in a little blanket and laid on my chest, and I couldn't believe it. Of course, he already looked like his daddy (and he becomes more of an Eric-clone everyday)!

Felix got to stay with us in our postpartum room right away. I spent several hours just cuddling him and staring at him. I felt so lucky that I was able to bond with him, since we didn't know whether both twins would have to go to the NICU. I sang him a little song over and over, "Mama loves Felix Christopher, mama loves him so much!" I tried nursing him within an hour or so of his birth, and he latched perfectly right away and was a pro - and has been ever since. In fact, eating has never been an issue with Mr. Felix! He would eat all day and all night if you let him! The only issue he had in the hospital was mild jaundice, and phototherapy was not fun for us! We chose to stay at the hospital with the boys and do the therapy in our room, which was a mistake! They had to wear these little blindfolds to protect their eyes from the lights, which they hated, and they couldn't be swaddled! It was miserable for all - we got so little sleep! Felix cried and fussed a lot. The one thing that would calm him was lying skin-to-skin on my chest while I spoke soothingly to him. I loved that I was able to calm him so quickly, even though he just met me - I guess he knew my voice and my smell already.

Felix is a very happy little boy - he smiles wide, and his laugh is infectious. He has very strong emotions - either he is very happy or he is very upset! He can get upset quickly - he goes from 0-60 sometimes! However, there is always a reason for his tears - usually it is that he is hungry! But, he also gets tired quickly, or bored with activities, or frustrated that he can't move somewhere - for instance, he likes to roll over, and if he rolls onto his belly and wants to roll back (but can't yet) he will let us know! This is fine, except when it's 4:00 am!

He loves to stand up with us supporting his arms, and also likes to practice sitting (in his Bumbo seat or supported by us). He LOVES to roll over, and will now roll himself onto his side or his belly to sleep, no matter how many times I return him to his back. He will giggle easily if I lift him high into the air, or pretend to drop him and say "Whoa!" He will also giggle when his face is wiped after eating, or when getting his shirt changed (just like his brother)! He loves to be read to, although he sometimes practices rolling around instead of looking at the pictures. He likes to play with a rattle, a stuffed butterfly, or a monkey toy, and likes to pull on toys on his activity gym. He likes to practice new skills, and is very persistent at difficult tasks. If he is fussy, a ride in the swing or bouncing in a bouncy seat will always calm him. He really likes movement! Felix also loves music, and particularly likes for daddy to sing rock songs to him!

We are so lucky to have a son like Felix, and we know he will do wonderful things in the future. He is such an amazing joy, and makes my heart swell everyday. We love you Felix Christopher!

Meet Asher James

2010-03-08T19:47:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to do a profile of each of the babies for awhile now, but as usual, finding the time has been an issue! I know they are going to keep changing, but I want to remember how wonderful they are at this age (not to mention how different they are)!

Asher James was born on 10/2/09 at 2:36 PM. He weighed only 4 pounds 14 ounces, and was 18.5 inches long. I did not get to officially meet him until he was about 8 hours old, because they took him away to the NICU after a brief assessment in the operating room. He obtained APGAR scores of 8 at 1 minute and 5 minutes, but he was "retracting" and "grunting" a bit when breathing, so they wanted to make sure he was OK. Luckily, that resolved itself, and he never required oxygen. When I finally was wheeled up to the NICU to meet him, I remember Eric was talking to someone for (what I felt was) too long, and I sort of snapped, "Come on, I haven't even met him yet!" Eric and some of his family had already been there to see him, but I hadn't! We signed in, washed our hands (as best as I could from the wheelchair - I was still VERY sore) and Eric wheeled me through the hallway and past all of the nursery rooms. I wondered which room he would be in. We finally reached the room, and there were several babies in the room. Some in isolettes, and some not. I saw a little baby in an isolette that looked like it could be him, but Eric kept on wheeling. He stopped at a non-isolette crib, and there was a tiny baby wearing just a diaper in there. He had some monitors strapped to his chest and was under warming lights. I expected him to be sleeping (being born is tiring!), but no - he was wide awake, just studying everything that was going on around him. It really surprised me to see his eyes wide open! He seemed to be just taking it all in. To me, after studying his "little" brother for the last few hours, Asher seemed to look just like him, just a little smaller. We didn't know they were identical at this point, and assumed they were fraternal because of the type of twins they were (Di-Di), but I started to wonder at that moment.

I was able to visit Asher a few times over the next two days. I had to coordinate someone to wheel me down to the NICU as well as someone to stay with Felix in our room. Luckily, Eric's mom, the new grandma, was always there to help. I loved being with him, but I hated that he had to be in that place. I was so overtaken by hormones at that point, that I just cried every time I saw him with all those monitors on him. I knew I was being ridiculous - he was by FAR the least sick baby in that room. Right next to him was a set of boy/girl twins who had been there for months and were still quite sick. Their parents seemed so well-adjusted somehow, and yet here I was blubbering about my pretty healthy boy. I hated to spend time in there, but at the same time I hated that he was by himself a lot of the time. Luckily, Eric went to the NICU for every scheduled feeding at least, and my father-in-law spent a lot of time with him, because he too couldn't stand for Asher to be alone. I couldn't wait for him to be released. The day the boys were born, the NICU staff told us that he should be released from their care that night. Then, it was the next morning. Then, that afternoon. And so on. Although he was breathing perfectly on his own, they were trying to feed him a bottle and he was not eating well. I tried to nurse him once, and although he latched well, it tired him out so much that they placed a nasogastric tube for the next feeding to make sure he got enough calories. He didn't need it for more than one feeding, thank goodness. However, he remained a slow eater (little did we know that was a trait that would continue!), but eventually they felt comfortable enough releasing him to the care of the regular newborn nursery staff. I was so happy to hear that news. It was two days after the boys were born, and I was hanging out with Asher, just holding him in my wheelchair and staring at his tiny features (and probably crying). The doctor came over and said that all he needed was phototherapy for jaundice, and they could do that in the regular nursery. We had just been told that Felix would also need phototherapy, so they could do it together. Even though I had been expecting him to be released on the day he was born, I was getting used to not having a straight answer about when he would be OK to join his brother, so I was so overjoyed and surprised to hear this news out of the blue! When he was wheeled into our room, after finally being cleared to leave, it was almost exactly 48 hours after they were born. It was such a beautiful moment, finally having both boys together! I don't think Eric and I could have been any happier.

As Asher has grown, he has changed a lot, but at the same time he has held on to a lot of his initial traits. He is still so observant of everything around him - to the point of distraction! If he is eating, and someone talks behind him, he will stop and twist his head as far as he can to see what happened. And, like when he was a newborn, he has continued to not show a lot of interest in eating. We have had to watch carefully how many ounces he eats everyday to make sure he gets enough. He would just rather be doing other things - looking around, smiling, babbling. This is cute, but it causes mommy and daddy constant worry and stress about how well he is growing. We are looking forward to the day when he finds some food that he loves and actually wants to eat!

Perhaps because of his short stint in the NICU, where he had to wait for attention from the nurses or family members, Asher is the most patient and easy-going baby I have ever seen. Everyone comments on this when they meet him. He is rarely fussy, and if he cries, we know something is really wrong. If his brother is crying for attention in his crib, Asher will undoubtedly be wide awake in his crib too - but just lying there chewing on his hands or his monkey toy, babbling, or squealing with delight (we call it his dinosaur noise). He smiles brightly as soon as he sees mommy or daddy, and usually also gives us a little "dinosaur" noise for good measure. He laughs easily and often, and loves to fly on the "airplane" of mommy's legs when she's on the floor, or to be held high in the air. He even laughs when we wipe his face after eating (since he usually lets a lot of milk dribble down his chin), or when changing his clothes! It is somehow the funniest thing on earth to have his arms go through his sleeves!

Asher loves books - whether to be read to, or to chew on his crinkly soft book (which is his current favorite toy). He also loves to hold rattles, and shakes them and of course chews on them. He is very adept at reaching for toys, grasping them, and bringing them to his mouth. Sometimes, when he's hanging out in the playpen with dangling toys, he will grab a toy and just examine it from all angles. Asher was the first to roll over (from his tummy to his back), and he is able to roll from his back to his tummy, but he chooses not to most of the time. While his brother was struggling and struggling to learn this skill, Asher just sat back and watched, and one day decided to try it and did it perfectly. He loves to hang out on his tummy, supported by his elbows, with his head held high so he can see the whole room. He kicks his little legs while he's in this position, and this sight always reminds me of a pre-teen at a slumber party gossiping with her friends! He also enjoys standing up with us supporting him, and is learning to sit now too.

Asher is always talking away to himself or to us, and has started making syllable sounds like "Ya" and "La." He thinks it's hilarious to hear me say, "Ma ma ma, da da da!" He loves to stick out his tongue, and will imitate us if we do this too.

Asher may be our little guy, but he has a big presence and we couldn't possibly love him more. He will undoubtedly do great things in his life, and we cannot wait to see how he continues to grow and change. We love you Asher James!

Religion and kids

2010-02-27T00:45:00.000-08:00

Growing up with my dad, it was not uncommon to see a framed picture of the Virgin Mary next to a small gold statue of Buddha, or a porcelain Hindu goddess propping up a book about the Dead Sea Scrolls. Although both of my parents grew up Catholic, they chose not to raise us in the church. In fact, I am told that I was baptized to the "earth" on a hill with friends and family. Syracuse was a predominately Catholic community, and so all of my friends attended the same church (although mostly just at Easter and Christmas) and went to a "faith center" near our high school once a week during lunch and for some "lock-in" sleepovers. I sometimes joined them, just to not feel left out, but I never felt very comfortable with Catholicism. Not even understanding the philosophy, it just seemed so formal next to what I was used to at home. My dad and sisters and I prayed every night together - but it was more spiritual than religious. We gathered in my dad's room, lit candles, and said various prayers together, including a differently translated version of the Our Father prayer that my dad found in his many books on religion. We were not told any specific thing to believe - we were just raised to believe in a god (although God could have been a He or a She) and were exposed to different facets of religion, including Catholic churches, Unitarian churches, and Jewish temples. My dad really wanted us to develop our own beliefs.

I didn't really take the initiative to do this until I was in graduate school. I moved to North Carolina, and although Chapel Hill exists in a liberal bubble of the Bible Belt, it is still the South! I moved in with strangers, thanks to online apartment hunting from South Korea, both of whom were practicing Christians. After a few weeks in NC, one day I just asked my roommate, Heather, about her church and if I could check it out. She told me about it, and that it was a pretty liberal non-denominational Bible church. It sounded not-too-scary to me, and so I went. I went again and again. I think I cried every Sunday for several weeks. My poor roommate probably didn't know what to do with me! This particular church just felt really comfortable to me - it was a large congregation of professors, teachers, students, young families, and seasoned congregates; it did not seem evangelical or pushy, and every sermon seemed to be targeted toward me. I enjoyed singing the songs every week - although I am not as musically talented as the rest of my family, I do enjoy singing and really felt close to God in those moments. And although I still wasn't comfortable with everything in the Bible, I went to church every week because it was a place I could feel God and talk to Him. I always felt so peaceful and centered when I left that building. I began reading books on Christianity (including The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel, which was awesome for me at the time), attended a series of classes for struggling non- or new believers that my church offered, and talked endlessly with my roommates, friends, and family members about their beliefs.

When I met Eric in August 2005, he told me that he grew up a Southern Baptist. He went to church, to youth groups, and on mission trips - the whole nine yards. However, when he left his hometown to come to the bubble that is Chapel Hill for college, his views changed. He did some reading, and found Daoism, and even got some tattoos of "dao" and "path" on his arms. Daoism is more of a philosophy or spirituality than a religion, and Eric will say now that he still tries to follow these tenets, but that he is also an atheist. I knew all of this very soon after meeting him, of course. He came to church with me a few times, and he actually enjoyed the sermons...well, that might be a strong statement, but he at least respected the pastor, who was a highly educated, very liberal, down-to-earth guy. However, it was a struggle to get him to join me, and we had a few conversations about how we would eventually raise our children. Eric really liked how my dad handled my religious/spiritual development, and although I believed things that he did not, he respected the way I came about it on my own, as a free-thinking adult. I understood that, but also expressed that I always felt very left out and like an outsider as a child and young adult growing up around friends who had a sense of community with their church and people who shared their beliefs. While I did not want to push my religious/spiritual beliefs upon my children, I did want to expose them to a church community and religious practice. Eric said he would support the kids going to church with me, as long as he was also able to express his views to them.

Now that we actually have kids, the hypothetical "What will we do?" conversations are suddenly real. Although my church attendance has been quite poor as of late - in fact, I haven't been since I was put on bed rest at 26 weeks, and then I gave birth to some little people that require attention on Sunday mornings. :) But I would like to go again, and someday (when I can imagine them sitting quietly through a service or *gasp* attending the church nursery) I would like to take the boys along. However, it is a balancing act between exposing them to my beliefs (and to Eric's) and allowing them to develop their own. How do we expose them to all sides of things, while trusting that they will make their own decisions, and not just do what mommy or daddy does or believe what mommy or daddy believes? I just have to hope that Eric and I can work as a team, and respect each other's differing viewpoints. To me, that is the best lesson we can pass along to our kids anyway - the understanding that not everyone believes what you do, but that you should always respect and embrace those differences.

We will "eat" up whatever you say, so be careful! :)

Big boys

2010-02-16T08:54:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how fast the boys are growing up! Sure, they're only 4 1/2 months old, but that time has flown by and they are already so big! The other night we bought convertible car seats (because they were majorly on sale at Sam's) that they will use until they no longer need car/booster seats, and they looked like such big boys!

Then, the pediatrician agreed that they were ready for solid foods now (!) so they tried some yummy organic rice cereal today. Sure, they hardly swallowed any of it, but it's a start. Pretty soon they'll be smearing food all over the place and we'll be fondly remembering the days of bottles - but for now it's a huge milestone!

Below is the measurement data from the four month appointment - basically they are still tall and skinny! The good news is that they have both continued on the same growth curve - although we would like to see Asher catching up, at least he hasn't fallen behind. Hopefully he will really like solid food and will get as big as his little brother!

Asher - Length=25 inches (35th percentile); Weight=12.35 pounds (5th percentile)

Felix - Length=25.5 inches (60th percentile); Weight=13.45 pounds (10th percentile)

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T07:10:00.000-08:00

OK, so we don't really celebrate Valentine's Day around here, but since it is today, it seemed like a good title for this post! I am sorry to be so blog-negligent lately...being a working mom is B-U-S-Y!! I feel like I am going going going from 5:00 am (when the babies wake up) to 10:00 pm (when I collapse into bed). I used to have such a hard time falling asleep - ha! Now I know I was just never truly tired! But, although I am exhausted pretty much all the time, I have never been happier as when I am with the babies and see them smile - I could not imagine life any other way (well, except maybe with a few million dollars...yeah, I could imagine that...).

Asher

Felix

The babies are 19 weeks old now, and growing up fast! Last week, both babies started rolling over - Asher was first (from his belly to his back) and then a few days later Felix followed (from his back to his belly). It's funny, but both can only roll one way, and they are opposite! (We're not really surprised, since they are very different babies considering they share the same genes!) I think they are almost ready for solid foods because they drinking a lot and are acting hungrier lately - they have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday, so we will ask him then. They are eating mostly formula now, because although I am trying to keep on producing milk, I have never really been able to keep up with twins (there were only a few weeks where I was able to nurse exclusively), and it has only gotten worse since they started sleeping through the night and I went back to work. But, I am going to hang on as long as I can - I think even a few ounces a day is important for their health. So, I am drinking as much water as I can, eating constantly, pumping 2-3 times at work and before I go to bed, taking a lovely herb called Fenugreek (which makes me smell like maple syrup - Eric does not love this side effect, although I don't think it's that bad!), as well as drinking gross tea that tastes like black licorice. It's all for those beautiful babies though, so it's worth it!

They have their 4 month appointment on Tuesday, so we will find out how they're doing on weight and height - I will try to find a moment to update the blog again then!

SNOW!

2010-01-31T06:26:00.000-08:00

We got a good amount of snow this weekend - and since we live in North Carolina, that is a bit unusual (which could explain why 8 inches of snow constitutes a "state of emergency" declaration by the governor...).

Although I am not all that excited by snow, since I grew up in a very snowy part of the country, we did want to take the babies out to experience it - even if they would probably just fall asleep. So, we bundled them up and took them for a sled ride around the neighborhood. And, although they did fall asleep, I still think they had a good time! It made me excited for snow next year when they can really enjoy it!

You have two babies AND three dogs??

2010-01-30T05:30:00.000-08:00

This is an exclamation we hear quite frequently, and it usually is accompanied by something like, "Wow, you've sure got your hands full!" or "How do you do it?" or "Go big or go home, right?" (We really heard that last one the other day.) To us, just like having two babies instead of one, we don't know any different.

When I met Eric, he had our Brittany Spaniel, Gracie, already. She was about 6 years old at the time, and just as sweet with a lot fewer white hairs and a lot more energy. I had a wonderful standard Poodle, named Joey. The two became a great pair, and soon we added our boxer/pitbull mix, Cali. When Joey passed away shortly after we got married, we adopted Cody, a bulldog/pitbull mix. So, since we have known each other, we have had dogs. And while we certainly did not intend on having two children at once, we looked forward to having both children and dogs together - to us, that's a real family.

All three pups (along with one we were fostering at the time)

A lot of people ask how the dogs adjusted to having the babies around - I never quite know what to say because it really wasn't an adjustment at all. The dogs didn't act any different, and the babies certainly didn't notice the dogs. I think it helped that we made the dogs give the babies lots of space when we first brought them home - we didn't allow them to even really sniff them for a few weeks, until they were totally relaxed and viewed the babies as just one of the family. So, although Cody (who is the most energetic and will work realllllly hard to give a stranger a kiss - especially if that stranger is about 2 feet tall and squealing with delight) appears to be interested in the babies, he is actually quite calm around them. Of course, this may change drastically when they become mobile...

I was going to post this video to showcase some baby giggles, but it also showcases the babies and dogs together, so it's perfect! Enjoy!

Back to work

2010-01-10T23:47:00.000-08:00

I have been back to work full time now for a week. It is surreal to be back - I discovered that the world kept turning while I had babies! As I sat at my desk for the first time, sans a humongous belly, it was like nothing ever happened. (Well, except for the pictures of the babies that are proudly displayed now!) There were phone calls to make, emails to check, meetings to have, children to see. However, as a school psychologist, I am really lucky to work for a school system, which not only means I have great hours for a working mom, but also means I am surrounded by women - many of whom have children and understand how difficult it was to return to work after maternity leave (as well as my need to pump during the day!).

I think I have handled the transition well though. I only cried a few tears before I left for work on the first day - putting the babies down for their first morning nap, among all of their coos and smiles, I was overcome by how incredibly cute and amazing they are and how much I would miss during the day. It may seem odd, but it helped to force myself to remember how stressed I felt during some days of my leave when I was by myself trying to feed two screaming babies! The boys are generally very easy-going babies, but when they're hungry, they let you know! It is much easier for someone else to feed them, actually, because they can just sit them both in their seats and feed each a bottle. When I am home I either nurse both of them at the same time, or I nurse one while bottle feeding the other. That takes some juggling! There were times when both babies had trouble latching, or spit up on me, or were insatiably hungry - I broke down in tears on more than one occasion out of frustration, stress, loneliness, feelings of inadequacy...you name it, I felt it. So, although I hate to leave my babies all day, I actually feel a lot less stress when I am home with them. I have been out of the house, had interactions with adults, enjoyed an uninterrupted cup of coffee, dressed in real clothes. I also am able to enjoy the little moments with them so much more because I know they are limited.

It helps that I know they are getting amazing childcare while I am at work! We found a fabulous nanny, Becky, who has been a nanny for over 20 years and has even cared for two sets of twins before. We were really lucky to find her - who knew craigslist could be good for more than selling your old TV? She is with the babies on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Eric is able to stay with them on Tuesday and Thursday, since he is in graduate school and has a little flexibility in scheduling his classes and work. I think it is great that he has this opportunity - not many dads are (willing or) able to fully partake in the care of their kids, and I hope their relationship is stronger because of it.

Asher

Felix

As for the babies, they are growing and changing everyday! They are now too tall for their 0-3 month clothes, so we broke out the 3-6 month collection this weekend. At last weight check (with our home scale), Asher was almost 12 pounds while Felix was over 13. They both are beginning to be able to grab and hold on to a toy (like a rattle), although it's not quite purposeful yet (i.e., they're not reaching for things). They do bat at toys hanging near them though, which is the first step. They are both smiling up a storm, and starting to giggle as well. We hear lots of cooing - especially from Asher, who is the patient brother and can entertain himself for several minutes by kicking and cooing in his crib in the morning while I nurse Felix and he waits for daddy to bring him a bottle. I have to plan ahead and get a video of that one of these mornings! In the meantime, here is a video of both babies hanging out yesterday. I took a video before this one, but they were so distracted by the camera that they wouldn't smile or talk! I was a little more covert with this video so you get to see some cute stuff (including the ever present spit-up...sorry!). Enjoy!