Deadspin

When Is A Blog Not A Blog? [Duan!]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 18:30:00 -0400

We can all agree that new media is rapidly taking down the mainstream media on almost every subject. But there's a good argument to be made that sports is the one slice of the media pie that's surviving. Why?

Robert Weintraub, who you'll recognize for his mastery of turn-of-the-century sports writing, knows a little something about the 21st century too. In the latest issue of the Columbia Journalism Review(yes, I'm one of those), Weintraub makes the case that the establishment in sports media has done a better job than anyone of self-preservation, and they've done it by beating the blogs at their own game.

To wit: the bloggers themselves coming under the corporate umbrellas. The True Hoop crew at ESPN, Pro Football Talk at NBC, and everybody under the sun at AOL Fanhouse.

This programming strategy isn't just an attempt to monetize audience participation - it's a canny co-opting of the enemy.

...

Recognizing an unwinnable war when they see one...the mainstream sports media have decided to keep these guerrillas close. Sportscasters seldom deride bloggers as people writing from their mothers' basments anymore—theirs is a more symbiotic relationship now.

Then what of the anti-blog crusaders like Bissinger and Cowherd, whose impression of an "anti-establishment" blogger is someone who would jump at the chance to take a job at say, New York Magazine(his example, not mine)?

They're not as at-odds with each other as they appear. Each side, in their own way, makes the point that when it comes to sports media, the outside that's looking in isn't so far from the mainstream. The blogosphere never wanted to set itself apart from the MSM, except for perhaps covering more tabloid-y subjects than the big boys will touch. It's just a explosion of new outlets, a natural flowering made possible by new technology.

And like any good conglomerate, the big names snapped up the best content. Abbott, Florio, Leitch and others aren't doing anything different content-wise than they were before, but all of a sudden they're mainstream? Blogging is just a word. It encompasses everything from reporting to humor, from analysis to aggregation, from live commentary to finding attractive female athletes. None of these are anything the establishment hasn't done before with, like blogging, varying degrees of success.

If the line between blogs and the MSM appears to be getting blurrier, it's because there never really was a line in the first place.

*****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Tomorrow: business as usual. Also, this happened.

Follow Me (Very Slowly) To Freedom [Whimsy]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 18:00:00 -0400

114-pound tortoise makes a break for it, flees the circus. He was later found on a golf course two miles away, still running. It took him six days. [AP]

BK-Sponsored Soccer Kit Will Make You Cry [Nightmare Fuel]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 17:15:00 -0400

OK, it's pretty bad to watch Beckham jog around in his Galaxy Herbalife jersey. But things could be worse. They could be much, much worse.

Burger King is sponsoring Spanish soccer team Getafe for the upcoming season, so they've slapped their logo on the front of the kit. That's fine, although it makes them look like fry cooks. But as per usual, BK just had to go that extra step to make sure we're all sufficiently traumatized.

Included with each kit are instructions for how to celebrate a goal in the traditional European way, namely pulling the shirt up over your head. And what do we, the unsuspecting spectators get to see? Why, the King himself, staring into our very souls with his dead, dead eyes. Just the idea of more than one player doing this simultaneously has me changing my underwear.

According to Google translator, step 5 is "It embosoms to him to all King that you take inside." Sweet dreams.

Burger King And Getafe Take Sponsorship Deal Too Far [Dirty Tackle]
Getafe Are The Kings Of Europe [ontd_football]

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE [Serious Business]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:45:00 -0400

Fans mob a Twitter-promoted baseball game featuring the Jonas Brothers. If you're wondering about their road beef, Chris Hansen would like you to sit down over here. [Boston Herald]

A Funnier, Less Pottymouthed Pacman Making It Rain Video [Adam Pacman Jones]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 16:15:00 -0400

It really shouldn't have taken this long for this to be made. But I think we're all glad it was.

[The Damn! Show]

If An Octogenarian Can Do It, It's Not A Sport (UPDATED) [Nascar]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 15:45:00 -0400

What's scarier for a NASCAR driver going 200 mph? Sharing the track with someone on meth? Or sharing the track with someone who needs to get to Old Country Buffet in time for the early bird special?

Hershel McGriff's first race was in his family's sedan on an unpaved track. His first NASCAR race when Truman was in office. The point I'm making is, he's really really old (not that this is a handicap, apparently).

He's 81 to be exact. And depending on how qualifying goes today, he could become the oldest man to run a NASCAR series race. McGriff is attempting to make the field for this afternoon's NASCAR Camping World West Series event in Portland, Ore., 64 years after his first race there.

McGriff was personally invited to join NASCAR by Big Bill France, in its third year of existence. Back then, that meant driving his stock car around the country to each race track. He's racked up four Cup wins in his career, been named one of NASCAR's 50 greatest drivers, and was inducted into the Motorsport Hall Of Fame in 2006.

But he's no stranger to comebacks: he's had two retirements, 48 years apart. So if you're in Portland and want to know which car is his, just look for the one with the blinkers on.

McGriff bids for a return to racing at age 81 [AP]
Elderly Drivers In Fewer Accidents Than Others [Boston Globe]

UPDATE: He done qualified.

Look Ma, No Hands [Whimsy]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 15:15:00 -0400

Chinese police stopped this man for driving a motorcycle without a license. Unlike most police stops, they didn't have to worry about whether the suspect was armed. [Ananova]

Well, That Was Anticlimactic [Golf]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 14:45:00 -0400

Congratulations, Stewart Cink, on your first major championship. Too bad no one cares. Do you remember who beat Jean Van de Velde in '99? All we'll remember from Turnberry is Tom Watson missing an 8-footer for the Claret Jug.

No one was rooting for Cink. In the last 20 minutes, his Wikipedia page has been edited to include the phrases "He won the British Open beating up an old man along the way" and "Cink is nervous, farting often. Asshole spoiled the British Open." But it doesn't matter, because Watson couldn't pull out a simple up-and-down on 18.

This was supposed to be history. It was supposed to be the oldest winner of a major by more than a decade. It was supposed to be a golfer winning his first tournament in 11 years, and doing it at the British Open. It was supposed his first major win in 26 years.

Instead, it's Stewart Cink. A clutch birdie putt on 18 seemed like it wouldn't matter, until the wheels came off the Watson bandwagon. Maybe there's a reason why the old guys don't win; maybe 72 holes takes the stamina of a younger man. Certainly, 76 holes were four too many: Watson collapsed completely, going 4-over in the 4-hole playoff. Cink went 2-under in the playoff, and 2-under for the tournament. And on a weekend where the wind and the rough mercilessly weeded out the best in the world, 2-under was good enough.

So now Tom Watson will retire to the Tom Watson Suite at Turnberry, named for him after his legendary duel with Jack Nicklaus in 1977. That glory was 32 years ago. For the first time this weekend, it feels like it.

Now We'll Take You Seriously, Lady Soccer [Soccer]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 14:15:00 -0400

With the top 3 goalies injured or away on national team duty, WPS's Washington Freedom taps coach to play goalie. They win by shutout, of course. [WaPo]

USF Kicker Nominates Self For Darwin Award With Theme Park Mishap [College Football]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:30:00 -0400

It's the kicker-gets-injured story that has everything: a second-rate Florida football school, a second-rate Florida theme park, and a totally preventable injury that's not too serious to make fun of him.

South Florida's Maikon Bonani was probably hoping his summer job at Busch Gardens would be like something out of the movie Adventureland. Instead it turned out like Final Destination 3; you know, a laughable failure featuring no one you've heard of.

Yesterday, the Bulls' starting kicker was working at the Skyride, a tram that ferries customers over the tiger and orangutan habitats. From the park's statement, Bonani appears to have ignored all instincts of self-preservation:

It said that after sending a gondola out of the station, the Skyride attendant thought the door might be unlocked and held onto the door to check it. He held on for about 50 feet as the gondola took off, and he let go over the Jungala attraction - a 35 foot fall, the release said.

Where is Spider-Man when you need him?

Bonani was not immediately set upon by the tigers, only to be rescued by the orangutans and accepted and raised as one of their own. Instead he was taken to the hospital with a injured vertebra, and is listed in fair condition.

USF Football Players Injured In Busch Gardens Accident [St. Pete Times]

Tom Watson Still 59, Still Leading The Open Yeah, About That... [Golf]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:50:58 -0400

Three holes to go, and the old man is up by a stroke. Let's hope he doesn't have one before he enters the clubhouse. [PGA Leaderboard]

And By Fix Your TV, I Mean Have Sex With You [Crime]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:15:00 -0400

High school baseball coach busted for soliciting a prostitute, tells police he was just there to repair her television. Bonus: award winning mugshot! [St. Pete Times]

Autopsy Concludes Gatti Is Dead, Little Else [Arturo Gatti]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 11:30:00 -0400

Just when you thought a retired athlete could be killed by by a scorned paramour, and that would be the end of the story, comes a report out of Brazil that answers no questions, but generates plenty of new headlines.

The autopsy conducted on Arturo Gatti doesn't rule out the possibility of suicide, which, for those of us sick of celebrity tragedies this summer, is unwelcome news. Now we'll get a slew of alternate theories, and a trial for his wife, and more gruesome details then we ever wanted to know.

The report finds that Gatti's body was "suspended and hanged, indicating he may have committed suicide." That doesn't explain much, especially how his wife could have been in a room with a hanging body for 10 hours and not noticed something amiss. So the autopsy also retains the possibilities of "murder or accidental death," the latter I can only assume referring to David Carradine.

So: suicide, or maybe murder, or maybe an accident? We only learn two things: that, yes, Gatti is conclusively dead, and that death by purse strap isn't considered natural causes, even in Brazil.

The results of my journalism post-mortem indicate that this story has legs.

Report: Gatti May Have Committed Suicide [AP]

Ross, You're A Heckuva Lot More Likely To Have Another Child Than Win Another Open [Golf]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 10:45:00 -0400

Ross Fisher, currently near the top at the Open, is ready to scurry off the course at any moment should his wife go into labor. "Hopefully, I can hang on for one more day, and hopefully she can." [NY Post]

With No Regard For Human Life [Wake Up Deadspin!]

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 10:15:00 -0400

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap

Shaq's been tooling around China this week, promoting his deal with sneaker company Li-Ning (he's already been wearing their shoes in games, with the logo covered up). Much better than Nixon's ping-pong diplomacy, our state department has apparently sent O'Neal to terrify China's youth into submission. Hence, this image of him feeding one boy, pants no doubt wet with fear, to a giant shark, while Little Buddha looks on serenely.

*****

Good morning. It's Sunday. Shouldn't you be in church, you bunch of choirboys?

And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis [Duan!]

DAULERIO — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 18:37:23 -0400

I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard.

Sheesh. Anyway, this massive rubber dong made it onto NBC's live coverage of the American Century Championship classic, the one where Tony Romo's taking out all his post-Jessica frustration on the Lake Tahoe course.

****

Tomorrow: Barry Petchesky will spend his Sunday talking about other things. Hopefully.

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Go enjoy your Saturday night.

Lenny Dykstra Has Open And Honest Communication With His Wife [Lenny Dykstra]

DAULERIO — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:54:30 -0400

This is what Dykstra's wife says he told~~sent~~ her ~~via text message~~ over voicemail: "From now on everything is going to be bad, the war is ready to begin and I play ... dirty!" [Ventura County Star]

Sometimes This World Is A Horrible Place To Live [Media Meltdowns]

DAULERIO — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:00:00 -0400

ESPN's official comment on the Erin Andrews situation is this: "Erin has been grievously wronged here. Our people and resources are in full support of her as she deals with this abhorrent act." Mine is after the jump.

If this story becomes covered in the mainstream media — chances are it will, that press release went out everywhere; even the French are intrigued— there's inevitably going to be some backlash against the sports blogosphere. Unfortunately, we'll get hit pretty hard if some blog-centric finger-pointing ensues as to why this happened. Considering the enormous amount of coverage we've devoted to Erin Andrews throughout, oh, the site's existence, we're obviously an easy target if that type of Princess Diana-paparazzi discussion takes place.

To be fair, both during my time as editor and Emeritus' time, most of our coverage has been tongue-in-cheek — covering the coverage of America's Sideline Princess. Some people get that, others don't, and see any and all coverage of Erin Andrews as exploitative and voyeuristic in its own way. But it's important for people to know that I don't think anybody who's been part of the Erin Andrews pageview gravy train thinks what's happened is funny or is elated that this will be good for business. Will this change things? It has to. If covering Erin Andrews made this site — and plenty of other sites — look like pandering fools, any cheesecake coverage from here on out creates an additional, unnecessary layer of sleaze.

Regardless, this is a different, legitimate news story now — this isn't her getting whacked in the chin with a baseball, or her wearing a revealing dress to the ESPYs, or college kids posing for photos with her or her eating a sandwich. This is real and disorienting and just frighteningly sad. I apologize for posting the site's address in the initial story — I was unaware that, even though the videos were taken down, people could get access to them. I didn't want the story Dugg. I didn't want the shit to end up on Twitter. But I took that risk when I initially wrote about it and I'll take full responsibility for pushing the video out there, even though that wasn't the intention.

Look, we're here to laugh and have a good time and make the occasional lewd jokes and that won't be abandoned for the sake of reaching some higher moral ground to rise above this unfortunate situation. But I do ask that any other stories about this incident, please don't get out of control in the comments, mainly, don't direct people to where they can see the videos. But discuss it — discuss our coverage, any other coverage on it, how it should be handled, etc. I just hope no one feels like they need a scalding bath when they read about any new information on the legal fallout from this.

Anyway what else is going on?

Blogosphere's Erin Andrews Obsession Crosses The Line [Watchdog]

So What Were You Doing At Age 17? [Wonders Of The World]

Ben Cohen — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 14:00:00 -0400

Zac Sunderland is a 17-year-old California beach bum with shoulder-length locks and fears of conformity. So he's Jimmy Clausen, except he sailed around the world by himself. Winning in Touchdown Jesus' shadow? Try navigating away from pirates, dude.

Sunderland's tale is still the same old story, a fight for love and glory. Not only have the media checked in with intermittent profiles of the boy wonder in the last year, but some French author prophesied Sunderland's circumnavigation back in 1873, we're told. And almost 250 people have sailed the globe's oceans by themselves before! So come on, this isn't impressive or anything. Not at all.

I mean, the year in solitude was like a walk in the park for this so-called "figure of sailing lore." Yeah, he saw pirates and was forced to interrupt his family's Sunday night dinner via satellite phone. And sure, his father told him to "shoot to kill" with his loaded pistol. He went sleepless for 60 hours tinkering with the boat's rigging, he only ate canned food and drank desalinated water, a 30-foot wave cave engulfed his 36-foot boat.

La-dee-da. Kid had nothing to do but play Grand Theft Auto and Guitar Hero, and when he docked for a few days, he could order six scoops of ice cream, no questions asked. Booty.

Now, as time goes by, he returns to a hum-drum, landlocked life of jealousy and hate as a younger sailor figures to usurp Sunderland's title in a few months, and a 15-year-old Australian plans to steal the spotlight from both next summer. What's a young buck to do as an encore? I'm sure there are a few girls looking for a prom date. Maybe he can star in an MTV reality show. Or he can suit up for Charlie Weis. He may be a legend, but after all, he's still got four years of eligibility.

Zac Sunderland completes solo sail around the world [LA Times]
Do Hard Things [ESPN The Mag]

Big Leaguers Just Wanna Use Gordon Beckham's Love Tonight [Mlb]

Ben Cohen — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 13:15:00 -0400

Everyone wants a piece of Gordon Beckham. And by everyone, I mean, of course, the throngs of Chicago women wearing his T-shirt jersey and his fellow big leaguers who are copping his swoon-worthy at-bat music.

It's not like Beckham struts to the plate to "Enter Sandman" or "Hell's Bells," like the dominant closers of the era, or even to a five-second clip from some flavor-of-the-week rap. Beckham's choice: "Your Love," by The Outfield. You know the one:

"Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I wanna say
You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight"

Try getting it out of your head. I dare you. It's impossible.

Just ask other major leaguers. Kelly Johnson, on the Braves, recently switched to The Outfield after earning a blessing from Beckham, who, apparently, owns the MLB rights to the song. (If song-granting permission is anything like the art of swapping jersey numbers, Beckham could have earned some serious swag from Johnson. Like Outfield concert tickets, or something.) Rumor has it Eric Byrnes also uses "Your Love," but he never talked with Rabbi Beckham, who assured reporters that "he was going to investigate."

With such a heinous crime unsolved, there's only one thing to do: I-Team, assemble!

Beckham Starts A Trend [Sox Drawer]
Braves Player Steals Our Savior's Entrance Music [Tremendous Upside Potential]
UGA's Beckham thriving in big league moment [AJC]

Open Caption: Yep, That's An Oscar Mayer Wiener [Wienermobile]

Ben Cohen — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 12:30:00 -0400

"An Oscar Meyer Wienermobile crashed into the home and outdoor deck. The vehicle was parked in the driveway. The driver lurched the vehicle forward instead of backing out of the driveway, hitting the deck and cracking the house's foundation." [Strib]

Le Cycling Is A Contact Sport [Sad]

Ben Cohen — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0400

One woman dies when she's hit by a police motorcycle, and two riders are injured by, um, air rifle projectiles. In other news, LiveStrong tweets about the injustice of George Hincapie not winning the yellow jersey. It's a cruel world.

Want A NASCAR Press Pass? Start A Blog! [Nascar]

Ben Cohen — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 11:30:00 -0400

Welcome to the world of the media elite, you so-called NASCAR Citizen Journalists Media Group. No cheering in the press box, no asking for autographs, no photos with the drivers, and be careful around the professionals. They might bite.

It's a changing world out there, even in the bastion of redneckness known warmly as the NASCAR circuit. Newspapers can't afford original, on-site race coverage, and meanwhile, Jeremy Mayfield admits to doing meth while circling a racetrack faster than he turned on his mother. The obvious solution: Dole out press passes to bloggers! NASCAR, to its credit, is anything but square.

Which is how we end up with the NASCAR Citizen Journalists Brigade To Save The Future Of Journalism, or whatever it's called today. But don't worry, newspaper reporters, because these bloggers are professionals. Some of them were your former co-workers. They're the ones who aren't wearing Tony Stewart's face.

After a lengthy review process, which included evaluating independent Web sites on professionalism, reporting and commentary, and use of social networking tools, 28 sites were invited to be part of the new media corps.

Members of the corps will have the opportunity to apply for media credentials but like all media, will be expected to abide by the standards of professional conduct (i.e. no autographs, photos with drivers, etc.) They will also have access to other media-driven events and teleconferences and NASCAR's media-only Web site. NASCAR will provide access to the information; it's up to the journalists to tell the story.

And no, we are not one of those 28 storytelling outlets in the NASCAR Amateur B-Loggers To Tout NASCAR's Awesomeness with access to free food on Sunday, provided you pay your way to the racetrack. Helicoptering in only when a methed-out driver calls his mother a gold-digging whore, it turns out, is neither professional nor social networky enough to merit a credential.

Oh, well. It's not like anyone ever needed a press pass to watch a good ol' wreck.

NASCAR Announces Citizen Journalist Media Corps [NASCAR.com]
NASCAR Citizen Journalism Media Corps [SportsJournalists.com]
EARLIER: Jeremy Mayfield Goes To War Against NASCAR

In That Other Golf Tournament This Weekend... [Golf]

Ben Cohen — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 11:00:00 -0400

Tony Romo, fresh off a breakup with his biggest fan, storms out to the lead of another celebrity get-together, while Charles Barkley is not in last. Who needs Hank Haney when you've got the modified Stableford system? [GOLF]

And That's The Way It Is [Wake Up Deadspin!]

Ben Cohen — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 10:15:00 -0400

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap

Walter Cronkite died last night. The CBS frontman wasn't much of a sportscaster, but he did enjoy his yachting, as evidenced by this trading card, up for auction on eBay:

This auction is for the 1977-79 Yachting Walter Cronkite Sportscaster card. This is extremely rare as it is part of the high numbered series. The card is printed on a thin cardboard stock paper. This is a nice card from the large set that was released during the years of 1977 to 1980. There was a total of 2184 sportscaster cards in the set which was released in 91 separate packs. The set was issued by Editions Rencontre S.A. Lausanne and 24 different sports are featured on the cards. These cards are also known as Sportscaster Digest Cards. The card backs of all of these cards have a complete story and interesting facts about the subject. This is the ENGLISH version of the card. Sportscaster cards were also printed in other countries and printed in different languages. The measurement of the card is approximately 4.75 x 6.50 inches and should be nice for framing if desired.

It's a collector's item now more than ever.

*****

Good Saturday morning. This happened last night, if you didn't know, so make sure you lock in today.

Erin Andrews' Attorney Speaks [Erin Andrews]

DAULERIO — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 22:43:49 -0400

Well, the mystery is solved, I guess. Yes, that was Erin Andrews on the video circulating around. Yes, they're pressing charges. The direct quote from the attorney circulating via PR newswire after the jump:

"While alone in the privacy of her hotel room, Erin Andrews was surreptitiously videotaped without her knowledge or consent. She was the victim of a crime and is taking action to protect herself and help ensure that others are not similary violated in the future. Although the perpetrator or perpetrators of this criminal act have not yet been identified, when they are identified she intends to bring both civil and criminal charges against them and against anyone who has published the material. We request respect of Erin's privacy at this time, while she and her representatives are working with the authorities."

Um, wow. Anyway, more on this tomorrow? Get some sleep, kids.

Mutton Wins Again [Duan!]

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:30:27 -0400

Is there a bigger mismatch out there than little children vs. surly mutton? Seriously. They're like the Washington Generals on sheepback. Look, kids. Hang it up. You just aren't going to ride that mutton.

The dramatic photo you see here is by Gerald Castillo of the San Marcos Daily Record in San Marcos, Texas. The caption reports:

Mora McGoderd, from Austin, takes a spill during Thursday night's Mutton Bustin' at the VFW rodeo. Despite the looks of things, the girl wasn't seriously injured.

Well, thank goodness little Mora's OK. She lives to not ride another day!

h/t: Tyler

*******

And so ends our coverage of Mutton Bustin' for the day. Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Tomorrow, the Bentern/Idiot Barking Dog tag team. Sunday, Barry Petchesky.

U.S. Attorney: Barry Bonds Prosecution Is Important Because Stan Musial Smoked Cigarettes. Or Something. [Mlb]

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:30:16 -0400

Joseph Russoniello, U.S. attorney for the Northern District of California, feels very strongly about Barry Bonds and the use of performance-enhancing drugs. Why? Because Stan Musial, the Perfect Knight, turned him into a smoker, that's why.

Via The New York Times comes this fascinating tidbit:

Russoniello said that since he took over as United States attorney, in 2007, he has developed a greater appreciation for the Balco investigation and how the use of performance-enhancing drugs by athletes can influence teenagers.

"Stan Musial was my hero when I was a kid, and he smoked cigarettes," Russoniello said. "I smoked cigarettes. Did I smoke cigarettes because of him? Well, there was not anything that he did to deter me from smoking cigarettes."

So there you are, folks: the intellectual underpinnings of the government's pursuit of Barry Bonds. Stan Musial and his Chesterfields didn't do anything to deter little Joey Russoniello from smoking. Sheesh. Between this guy and failed athlete Jeff Novitzky, our war on steroids is beginning to feel more and more like a very long, very expensive therapy session.

Legal Experts Don't See Conflict in Bonds Lawyer's Advisory Roles [New York Times]

BB Assassins Take Pot Shots At Tour de France Riders [Tour De France]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:00:54 -0400

Two riders were hit by BBs during Stage 13 of the Tour, even though lunatic cycling fans can get close enough to club their victims with baguettes. Why not give your crazy violence a more personal touch? [VeloNews]

Report: Notre Dame Will Play Army At Yankee Stadium In History's Most Insufferable Football Game [College Football]

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:45:49 -0400

Pat Forde's reporting that the Fighting Irish will take on the Black Knights in 2010 at Versailles-on-the-Harlem, reviving a longstanding New York tradition of Irish people fighting the Army that dates all the way back to the Draft Riots. [ESPN]

The One With The Half-Naked Woman Selling A Dale Murphy Pennant [Deleted Scenes]

DAULERIO — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:45:49 -0400

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Yeah, I Have No Idea

the oddest pairing I've ever seen

Internet Explorer Users Love The New Commenting System

•

Tell them to start over. I have years of experience with this sort of thing. When you get the first substantive complaint, you back off to the prior version until you get things fixed. The non-paying customers are the worst.

•

Clumsy looks funny, doesn't it? Anyway, the new comments setup is awkward. I find myself looking at Deadspin less often. Perhaps I'm burned out - the humor is harder to find.

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The layout of the comments is basically unreadable. I used to be a regular visitor of your site (At least 3 years), but I have to admit; I'm finding your product not worth the hassle. It's a shame too. You guys had a good thing going.

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Well - It is NOW. I had been loving the site - it provides a great service in supplying me w/ plenty of mirth and sports info thruoghout the day. However, since the "commenting re-format", I constantly get the "Internet Explorer cannot display, etc...." At work, if I hit the refresh arrow, the page comes back up, but then I get "A script is running which slows down blah blah..." At home ,where I have pretty minimal security settings, The page comes up for a few moments, then - "Internet cannot display.....", but the page will not come up at all when I refresh - so no dice at the house whatsoever - which sucks. What was wrong with the previous format? Besides the fact that it worked, it was also easy to read, keep track of, etc... By putting latest comments at the top - you screw up the whole flow of the "thread narrative". I know many sites use this format - but I have never understood this. Who wants to read a book backwards? What good does a comment on page "1" do me when it references a comment on page "3"? I hate to complain - cause I really dig the site, and it helps me get thru the day w/ a smile - but WTF with the new format????

- A loyal reader/chuckler to self that everybody at work probably wonders about - (esp. when I try to explain a post and/or comments to someone who has no frame of reference - fuhget about it)

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Big fan of the site…been away for a few weeks on vacation and it seems the comments have changed and for some reason my computer keeps crashing when I click on a post. Did I miss something? Do I need to update something on my computer for the comments to load successfully?

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Don't you realize how completely ridiculous it is to post any sort of comment up to Deadspin now? On a linear level, as well as a fucking common sense level, it's completely retarded.
Who benefits from this?

At this point, I'm sure you've decided that you've grown up, and now don't need my readership....I truely hope that you continue to thrive, as I still have fond memories of what this sight used to mean....

WTF,

flightjkt

Fucking Thanks

He's Right: Drew Magbarey Is A Punk

Don't know how I landed on your blog, but never again- Drew Magbarey is an immature punk and moron. Clean it up or stay where you are (nowhere)

And Choi Turns Out To Be The Nicest Person On The Planet

Hello~ ajd

I was so proud of meeting you.

It was a very impressive interview, your comfortable office, nice weather.

and now I got some questions about your blog.

1. what is your blog`s motto?

what message do you want to give your readers?

2. what does the 'deadspin' mean?

3. among a lot of gawker`s blogs, which is deadspin`s location? (you know) a kind of ranking...

pageview, revenue,

4. during the interview, I thought your blog is not a just blog but a 'new media' as your influence,

now that you`ve become a popular, powerful...

how do you keep the balance between presenting promotional content and genuine content?

your answer will be very helpful for me.

thank you.

Choi

I'd Rather Tweet With The Saints [Minor League Baseball]

Ben Cohen — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:25:00 -0400

It was only a matter of time before a minor league baseball team whipped up a social networking promotion, and when charged with creating a snappy name for the event, why not go with Twitter-My-Face?

It's pure marketing genius from the independent-league St. Paul Saints, a team partially owned, of course, by Mike Veeck and Bill Murray. The players, coaches and fans will presumably tweet their way to a loss next Thursday. But everyone will have fun! And that's the point of independent league baseball, last time we checked. After all, the Saints are also the bumbling squadron of fun known for their innovative giveaways: a Franken-Coleman doublesided bobbleheading concoction; a Bud Selig tie; rubber dog toys to honor Michael Vick; and, the cream of the crop, a bobblefoot to honor Larry Craig.

Twitter-My-Face, though, is not bobbleheadable, which leads us to this excerpted (and sic'd) press release below:

On July 23, players, coaches, fans and employees will be asked to update their facebook status, post photos and send tweets so that baseball fans around the world will know exactly what is going on at Midway Stadium.

Phew! I thought I might be missing out.

Saints pitching coach Jason Verdugo is expected to tweet during a trip to the mound to speak with one of his pitchers and other players and coaches are expected to tweet from the dugout. Fans will get to see the Saints updated facebook, MySpace and twitter pages during the game displayed on the Saints videoboard. Fans will check out the live status of Saints players. For example, when Saints first baseman Jason Cooper comes to bat, his facebook status may appear on the videoboard stating "Jason Cooper is…at the plate" or "Jason Cooper is…upset at that last strike call."

Jason Cooper is... waiting to get the call-up to a real minor league team, where all he has to do is sign a few autographs during his at-bat.

Popular Saints staff members and ushertainers such as Mudonna, famous massaging nun Sister Ros, beer vendor Trixster and Superfan will let provide a unique perspecitive with updates during the evening.

I am so there, if only to learn the meaning of the euphemism "famous massaging nun." Twitpics are encouraged.

Saints Embrace Social Media With Twitter-My-Face [St. Paul Saints]

ESPN Lawyers Try To Smoke Out Creepy Amateur Peephole Videographer (Update) [Media Meltdowns]

DAULERIO — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:25:46 -0400

Yesterday a video posted on the site NSFW POA hinted that a naked blonde woman videotaped through a hotel peephole was a popular sports personality. ESPN lawyers pounced. Maybe we should mention the woman looks like Erin Andrews.

The video's been removed, after blog proprietor Doug Sheckler (Epic Carnival, On205th) received a strongly-worded letter from ESPN attorney David Pahl:

I am the General Counsel of ESPN, Inc. It has come to my attention that you have posted on your site pictures of a young, blonde woman at [redacted]. These pictures were obviously taken through a peephole or otherwise in a fashion constituting a trespass/assault on the rights of the woman involved. Your continued posting of these pictures are highly likely to render you an accessory after the fact to a criminal act. We hereby demand that you (i) immediately remove these pictures from your site and (ii) disclose to us the source of the pictures. We intend to hold you fully responsible for further display of material that so obviously violates the law.

Please confirm by return e-mail that you intend to comply with these demands. In the absence of such confirmation we will assume you are an active and willing participant in these acts.

David Pahl

Sheckler won't reveal the source of the original videos, but what makes ESPN's swift action especially notable is that, in his original post, there was no mention of ESPN or the name of the person being illegally and creepily watched. The verbiage on the post was actually "Hot naked blonde who looks a lot like a sports blogger favorite in her hotel room." But ESPN is obviously not taking any chances, even if the video turns out to be a well-constructed fake. We're still waiting for a statement from ESPN about the whole ordeal and any further legal action they plan to take.

UPDATE: Here.

William Ligue's Son Still Proud He Beat Up That First Base Coach [Sad? Whimsy?]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:10:38 -0400

They say it's important to live without regret. And one thing Young Bill Ligue does not regret is thrashing an old man on the field at Comiskey Park when he was 15. You just can't manufacture those kinds of memories.

Few moments in sports history were as truly stunning as the sight fans saw on September 19, 2002, when two shirtless buffoons charged onto the field during a Chicago-Kansas City game and began pummeling the Royals' 54-year-old first base coach Tom Gamboa. It turned out to be a father and son team—William Ligue Jr. and his loyal 15-year-old boy—who were hauled off, surly and unrepentant, into baseball history. And also jail.

Now surely a brush with the law at such a young age—plus the worldwide public embarrassment—would have scared the 15-year-old youngster straight. Surely he wouldn't want to end up like his troubled, drug-addled father? Then again ....

The boy—who I assume is William The III—is now 22 and looking at his MySpace (or course) page it doesn't take long to see that starting a brawl at a baseball game is the crowing achievement of his short life. (After "anticipatin" the birth of his "shorty.") One of the pictures in his album is a screen shot of the incident with the caption: "ME AND DAD FUCKIN UP THA COACH FA THA KANSAS CITY ROYALS." Charming.

The rest sort of speaks for itself, but it's always amusing to see white boys make liberal use the word "nigga" as they rap about all the cash money they don't actually possess. Oh, did I mention he has his own "record label." I'm not sure I've heard any of these tracks on BET, but they show a lot of promise. If only there was more "green" to be made in hooliganism.

Oh, in case you're wondering ... Dad and the White Sox are still in the picture, although his bling suggests a certain confusion about the makeup of the AL Central. Still, it warms the heart to think that someday soon three generations of tattooed goons can go to the ballpark together and mug a third-base coach.

ITS JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS - 22 - Male - Chi Town, Illinois [MySpace]

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Busch Stadium [Why Your Stadium Sucks]

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:30:46 -0400

This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The St. Louis Cardinals' Busch Stadium.

Meat-beating in St. Louis: This is less about the stadium itself than about the fans who fill the stadium day after day, the best fans in baseball, who are so self-evidently the best fans in baseball that in the old Busch Stadium one could find a billboard in center proclaiming the fans to be the best fans in baseball. Why are Cardinals fans the best fans in baseball, you ask? I don't know, exactly, but one possibility is that the best fans in baseball clap loudly for sacrifice bunts and players named Skip. That's what baseball fans do, when they're the best fans in baseball. And you can tell it's true because people keep repeating that Cardinals fans are the best fans in baseball. "The best fans," Andy Van Slyke said in 1987, en route to Pittsburgh. "Best fans in baseball," Gerald Perry said back in 1990, as a new Cardinal (and it would be ungenerous to point out that, as a .250 hitter with no pop, he had good reason to butter up said best fans in baseball). "Best fans in baseball," Albert Pujols said the other day. "Best baseball fans in America," said Mark McGwire. "Best baseball fans in the world," said Rex Hudler (and it would be ungenerous to point out that Rex Hudler is an idiot).

But don't think it's just players who think St. Louis has the best fans in baseball. People from St. Louis also think St. Louis has the best fans in baseball. Why, here's a letter from one Matt Dwyer of St. Louis, written to USA Today in 2004 in response to the loutish celebrations in Boston after the Red Sox won the World Series:

As a 36-year-old male, born, raised and still living in St. Louis, a devout Cardinals baseball fan, I have a few comments concerning Jon Saraceno's column ("Real sports fans don't celebrate wins with drunken hooliganism," Oct. 25).

We here in St. Louis have grown accustomed to the "nicest fans" and "best baseball fans" slogans and tags over the years.

But guess what?

We also have the largest brewery in the world in our backyard, Anheuser-Busch, and we have yet to riot, loot or have anyone killed because of a win or loss of a Cardinals baseball game. St. Louis and Cardinals fans are class acts.

You "assume" that these "fanatics" who celebrate a win/or loss of the big game are drunk.

Maybe they were on drugs, maybe they were just stupid teenagers in a mass of people wanting attention. Or maybe, just maybe, they were like the hundreds of people who rioted, looted and a few even beaten to death after the O.J. Simpson verdict was read.

My point is, don't assume that "drunken hooliganism" is associated with celebrating a victory/loss.

Maybe it's just some people's outright stupidity and their blatant disregard for the consequences that their idiotic actions cause.

Understand? The best fans in baseball do not kill people.

St. Louis is baseball's Shangri-La. I know this because Joe Buck says so, and he is my baseball sherpa. And because St. Louis is baseball's earthly paradise and therefore populated only by the pure of heart, the thought has never occurred to me that maybe there is a hint of rebuke in the phrase "best fans in baseball," that maybe the best fans in baseball think the rest of us are poor paste-eating slobs who don't appreciate baseball the way they do because we don't have full-body orgasms whenever a guy named Skip moves the runners over, that maybe the best fans in baseball have fetishized the idea of playing the game "the right way" as a way of clinging desperately to some lost and imaginary ideal of the past, that maybe the phrase is actually a sign of an ugly regional chauvinism, not to mention a deep-seated insecurity, and that maybe there is a serious pathology at work here, a sort of civic narcissistic personality disorder.

No, sir, that thought has never occurred to me. St. Louis. Best fans in baseball.

The view from the stands (everything sic'd): Note: A couple responses concerned the old Busch Stadium, but I've included them anyway.

"I admire the Cardinals fans' loyalty to the team, and 95 percent of the stadium is wearing red. However, of that 95 percent, 95 percent of them are wearing a lousy 11 dollar 'uniform t-shirt' that looks like it comes from K-Mart's sale bin. And the majority of those bear the name and number of some mediocre white player from the Cardinals' recent past, like David Eckstein or Scott Rolen. You see more of those than you see Pujols or Molina jersey-shirts. But then again, what do you expect from a team that hasn't had a black player since Ozzie Smith retired?" (Jeff P.)

"When you talk about Busch Stadium III, don't forget to mention the big storm they had there back in 2006 that almost killed a bunch of fans. Here's a link if you don"t remember. I wasn't there, but I've heard through the grapevine that the ushers had absolutely no idea what to do in the event of a violent thunderstorm or tornado blowing through. But that's okay, I guess, because they rarely get those in St. Louis..." (Andrew R.)

"About 1987, when I was in between 7th and 8th grades, my parents took me to a Pirates game at the old Busch (old Busch - that sounds nasty). I bought a Pirates hat at a kiosk vendor outside the stadium, and as my Dad was paying, the college-age kid working took his cup of soda and threw it on my shoes. You stay classy, STL." (Doug E.)

"Why Busch Stadium sucks: September 8th, 1998 at 8:18 p.m." (Charlie J.)

Photo via Jeremy Plemon's Flickr account.

Next up: Miller Park. Got any horrible experiences to share? Send them to craggs@deadspin.com.

Tiger Woods To Miss The Cut At British Open [British Open]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:20:00 -0400

Woods had two double bogeys on the back nine to finish +5, but the projected cut is 4-over. Only his second missed cut at major since turning pro. Old Tom Watson somehow still tied for the lead. [Open Championship]

Tennismania, Anyone? [Tennis]

Ben Cohen — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 13:20:00 -0400

In individual tennis, arguments are tag-team affairs, at best. The danger of team tennis, though, rests in the possibility of a brawl. Or at least some prissy and passionate (but polite!) name-calling. Especially with John McEnroe involved. [D.C. Sports Bog]

Did Paper Spike Steve McNair Mistress Story? [Media Meltdowns]

DAULERIO — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 12:30:56 -0400

There's a potential journalism dust-up happening down in Nashville where, according to our old buddy Clay Travis, The Tennessean newspaper may have killed a McNair follow-up story featuring anonymous quotes from McNair's other-other women.

Unfortunately, The Tennessean newspaper editors deny the claim, but Travis says some agitated reporters tell him a different version:

Nashville's Tennessean has identified several additional women who were also involved in sexual relationships with Steve McNair. They've done even more than that, there is currently an article quoting those women and how they're dealing with McNair's death. (The women are quoted anonymously because they fear revealing their identities. The Tennessean, to their credit, has a policy against using anonymous sources for stories. Even, evidently when there are multiple women telling the same story. As a result none of us have seen this article. Why? Because of a combination of reasons: a. the women are anonymous and b. the Tennessean bigwigs are convinced the city of Nashville can't handle the news.

Now, considering the Tennessean's wall-to-wall coverage wasn't exactly delicate at times, this seems a little strange. The "anonymous source" issue is a legit one (for some publications), but if McNair was as beloved in Nashville as it appears he was, the anonymity of the women is probably crucial for their own well-being. There's a legitimate reason to keep them anonymous. But given how public McNair's dalliances were, shifting gears on the sensitivity issue — as if the paper suddenly was stricken by a conscience after a week of hyper-coverage on Kazemi and McNair — is a little editorially bone-headed. Grave-dancing's a dirty business, y'all.

Nashville's Tennessean Sitting On McNair Mistress Story? [Clay Travs]

And Now… Stars Who Could Have Used Helmets As Babies [Balls Deep]

Drew Magary — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 12:00:37 -0400

If you're a parent, you know about the phenomenon known as Flat Head Syndrome, where a baby's head gets too flat in the back and they need to wear a helmet to correct it.

I thought of this because Antoine Walker was arrested yesterday for passing bad checks, and Walker easily has one of the most deformed heads in sports.

It didn't have to be that way for poor ‘Toine. Doctors now say that wearing a helmet for three months can help correct flatness in the back and give your head the round, spherical, Barkleyesque shape preferred by people the world over. Alas, that never happened for Walker. Apparently, he was left on his back far too often as an infant, perhaps on the hood of an Impala. Either that, or someone decided to use the back of his head for blacksmithing. I'm telling you, that's one ugly head. Who else is a victim of this unfortunate syndrome? Who else could have used the Phillip treatment? Here's a partial freak show…

Yao Ming. Spencer Hall notes: "His head is oddly shaped, even for a Chinaman. I know from experience… It's like pancake ass for the head."

Jermaine O'Neal. Oof. Look at that melon. It's like a silo.

Tim Tebow. Yeah, yeah. He's awesome and Dan Shanoff would like to gargle every morning with his toilet water. But look at that head. It's like Brendan Fraser's head got caught in a car crusher.

Bruce Smith. The number one thing doctors look for to determine Flat Head Syndrome is if your child's skull has right angles. That's never good. Look at that ghastly noggin. Like a big black Rubik's Cube.

Oleksiy Pecherov. I dunno who this guy is, but he's clearly a freak. His eyeballs are practically in his ears. Might be a European thing.

Greg Ostertag/Bryant Reeves. Flat Head Syndrome is practically a requirement for big white basketball stiffs. You're not a true $50 million bust unless you have Simon Cowell's haircut and no cranial curvature.

Will Leitch. Look at that. No wonder he stays indoors so much.

Adam Jones "Makin' It Rain": The Video (NSFW) [Adam Pacman Jones]

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 11:45:00 -0400

We compared the Las Vegas Journal Review's massive feature on the Minxx strip club incident to the Warren Report, but now we finally have the Zapruder Film. Video (that's probably not safe work) of Adam "Pacman" Jones making it rain.

We've pulled just a small teaser sample, but you should really go their website and see the whole thing. (Multimedia people!) It's rated NSFW for language and very brief partial nudity. If you need something more censored, there's some footage at ESPN.

The video shot by an unknown "guest" on February 19, 2007, shows Jones with his magical money backpack and GIANT stacks of one dollar bills. He makes it rain all right. About 50 strippers completely cover the dance floor, filling a bucket with the discarded singles. At one point, the music stops and producer Jermaine Dupri gets on the DJ mic to scold the dancers because they've stopped dancing in order to collect the loot. Then at the very end, the rapper Nelly appears, also playing rainmaker, realizes that he would prefer not be filmed and the cameraman stops rolling. It was shortly after this that the infamous brawl started.

So there you go. Real actual of footage of strip club rain. It does exist in nature.

Adam 'Pacman' Jones and the Minxx [Las Vegas Review Journal]
New video surfaces in Pacman case [ESPN]
Earlier: The "Pacman" Jones Strip Club Shooting Gets Its Warren Report [Deadspin]