Gay Confidence Coach

Self-Confidence and Success: Four Ways To Build Them Both …

Paul Bailey — Fri, 11 May 2012 07:51:54 +0000

Here are four strategies you can use to help build self-confidence while creating the successful life you envision for yourself.

See on www.helenaritchie.com

How to Avoid Unnecessary Stress by Accepting and Understanding People

Paul Bailey — Fri, 04 May 2012 14:11:22 +0000

I’m sure you’ve noticed that people around you, even your family, are different from you. And when I say different, I mean different preferences, personality and way of understanding. A lack of acceptance and understanding can lead to unnecessary problems, tension and stress. Think about it, how many times have you asked yourself, “What in the world is he thinking?” or “Has he gone mad?”
To prevent yourself from stressing about unnecessary things, you must first accept this fact: Not everyone thinks or acts like you. Being different isn’t bad. Things would be awful if everyone liked or did the same things, you know.
The good news is, you can fight stress and live in harmony with people around you. You just need to work it and try hard. Here’s how:

Focus on today. Let go of past mistakes and misunderstandings. If you had a row with your office mate last week, forget it. Don’t hold grudges because it’s only causing you more stress and preventing you from giving your best at work. Aside from the usual side effects of holding grudges, it can also affect the way you interact with the person. If you had a disagreement with someone because of a certain topic, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to have a disagreement again with another topic.

Don’t expect people to read your mind or know how you feel. If you feel ignored or if you feel bad, you shouldn’t expect anybody to do something about it, or even acknowledge it. You should accept the fact that not everyone is sensitive of your feelings and thoughts. To avoid this, you should speak up if something is wrong and empathize with whoever made you feel bad. Asking questions will help you get to the bottom of the problem faster than skulking or silently cursing someone.

If you want to stop judging others, stop judging yourself first. We often judge or criticise people, even if we know that it’s a bad habit. What we don’t know is the fact that we criticize others because we criticize ourselves. Here’s a good example: people often judge their co-workers for leaving on time or not doing extra work because they can’t finish their tasks on time to leave early like the others do. Instead of putting pressure or stressing yourself because of your expectations, you should learn to accept yourself and your limitations. Only then, will you learn to accept those around you.

Stop labelling things in black and white. What looks right for you may not be right for others. Even universally accepted sins or wrong doings have gray areas for some people. The term “white lies” wouldn’t be invented if everything is strictly labelled right and wrong. Before judging someone’s action as right or wrong, try to understand the reasons behind their actions. Use step 2 and empathize with them. Better yet, just don’t meddle with what people are doing with their lives. Unnecessary meddling and judging causes unnecessary stress.

It’s not that hard to live a peaceful and stress free life. All you have to do is follow these tips, and serenity will follow you! If you find it hard to accept people or stop criticizing them, I suggest you write down your thoughts in a journal. Sometimes, all you need to do is to let it out. If that doesn’t seem enough, click the “contact me” link and let’s talk about it.

Luke, I Am Your Father: Dad’s A-Z: C is for Confidence

Paul Bailey — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:52:59 +0000

See on Scoop.it – Confidence

I have mentioned here before that I didn’t have a whole lot of confidence in myself growing up. Although I was at the top of my class academically, albeit small in size, and fairly decent at sports – attending such a small school I …

See on liayf.blogspot.fr

Stress: Beating Yourself Up is Never the Answer

Paul Bailey — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 08:51:14 +0000

Before I begin this post, I’d like to applaud you for clicking the link to this post. It takes a lot of courage and responsibility to admit that you may need help. Reading this post is your first step in accepting the fact that you’re not perfect and you don’t need to beat yourself up.

There are so many people that are too critical about themselves. Self-critical thinking really makes people stressed, as if the criticism or negativity they get from others is not enough. Are you one of these people? Do you berate yourself for your wrong decisions like getting married early, working too much, getting fired or just for the fact that things don’t seem to go as you planned?

Today I urge you to stop beating yourself up. Instead of being too negative, critical and cynical about life, I challenge you to appreciate yourself more and turn your faults into a gold mine of lessons. The number of your failures isn’t important. What’s important is you get up and keep going. Just think about Thomas Edison and his 1000 attempts to make the light bulb!

Step Up and Move Forward with These Tips to Battle Stress and Improve Self Appreciation

When you’re about to beat yourself up for all the bad things that happened to you, ask yourself these questions objectively:

Why did this happen in the first place?
Is there any lesson I can learn from this?
Did I do anything good to remedy the problem?
Did I do anything that I need to be appreciative for?

Asking yourself these questions will take your mind away from the negative feelings and help you deal with the situation objectively. The goal of this exercise is to help you realise that there’s something you can do besides beating yourself up.

Acknowledge why you’re beating yourself up and the reasons behind your failure

Accepting the root cause of the problem will help you move past the negative feelings that come with it. The best way to do it is confront the problem early on, accept it and move on. After accepting the problem or situation, you will feel lighter and you’ll be more objective in facing it.

Evaluate yourself

You can’t expect better results if you keep doing the same things again and again. Instead of beating yourself up for coming up short of your expectations, evaluate your reasons for failing and find a reason to fix it. If your problem is the stress caused by your demanding to-do list, try to find a way to minimize your tasks or delegate some of them to others. If you keep beating yourself up, even when you evaluate yourself, ask a friend, family member or coach to help you.

Relax and try again tomorrow!

You can’t expect to be a success overnight. Even the most talented people of today didn’t achieve success that quick. Take time to relax from your day to day schedule. Having a good time is essential to success because it recharges your mind and your body.

Whatever reasons you have for beating up yourself, you can apply these tips to help you move forward and be a success. The trick to overcoming the obstacles in life is perseverance coupled with a good dose of humour. Just remember that any failure is an opportunity to learn and improve yourself.

Get Ahead in Life: Simple Personal Development Tips

Paul Bailey — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 10:55:32 +0000

Is your life a bit crazy? Do you feel like you’re always rushing to get things done? Do you often complain that you don’t have enough time for things you want to do? Are you proverbially “stuck” in life?

Fear not my friends. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to be stuck feeling like that forever.

A lot of people feel this way because of the demands of their daily life. Work, family, relationships and personal life, it’s really hard to juggle these responsibilities, let alone find balance among all of them.

If you’re reading this blog post, I’m sure you’re looking for some answers to your personal development issues. So without further ado, here are my tried and tested personal development tips for getting ahead in life:

Don’t Over react- if you have a tendency to overreact, even with the little things, I suggest you practice calming yourself. Why? You’re making yourself stressed for no important reason. And even if you have good reasons to overreact, what can over reacting do to help your situation? None. Shouting, cursing or any form of bad behaviour will not solve your problems. Instead of over reacting, take a moment to calm yourself before you assess the situation. A clear mind is always a sharper mind.

Help others- helping others is an effective way to help yourself. Sharing your time and resources to others will help you discover more about yourself, too. Helping others will also increase your confidence because it gives you the feeling of being able to “do” or accomplish something of value.

Remove your roadblocks- examine yourself and find out who or what is blocking your way. After that, you should ask yourself if these things are worth keeping in your life. Anything that’s dragging you down should go. Always think of the big picture.

Take risks every now and then- taking risks and stretching out of your comfort zone will excite you and snap you out from your day to day chores. Sometimes, living a routine life is bad, it can cause boredom and hampers personal development. The best antidote to this is taking calculated risks.

Notice that I emphasize “calculated”, hence you shouldn’t take risks you’re not prepared for. What I mean is you shouldn’t go bungee jumping if you have heart problems and don’t even dare ask for a raise if you’re boss just caught you sleeping at your desk. Start with little things, like trying a new cuisine or going on a back packing adventure.

If you’re like everybody else, I’m pretty sure you’re in need of a little personal development in some aspects of your life. These personal development tips aren’t just for your career, they can also help you with your personal relationships, your dreams and even your weight loss goals!

You owe it yourself and your loved ones to give life everything you can. Don’t let your everyday issues run your life. Take charge of everything with the help of these personal development tips.

You never stop coming out, ever!

Paul Bailey — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:02:31 +0000

Coming out isn’t a once in a lifetime experience. After you come out the first time you have to keep on doing it. Although the first time can be tough it does get a lot easier.

Whenever you start a new job, move house, make a new friend at some point you have to make a decision…

“Do I need to tell them I’m gay?”

It’s an important question. Maybe they have figured it out already. Maybe they just don’t need to know. Maybe you shouldn’t need to feel this is such a complicated issue every single time you meet someone new!

Let’s face it, going in a shop to buy something from someone you will never meet again probably doesn’t need to know. But then again it’s great practice for making it clear to the people you will.

Stop using non gender specific terms

When talking about your “partner” say “Husband” or “Boyfriend” instead. The idea here is two fold

1: Let them know as quickly as possible that your sexuality is not something you care to hide away. Because you aren’t embarrassed by it, they won’t be either.

2: It stops them in their tracks from assuming you are straight. Because 90% of people are it’s a perfectly normal thing to assume. You will actually be helping them not to make that assumption and ultimately avoid any awkward conversations later down the line.

Change the way you think

The easiest thing to do is to have the mind set that whom ever you are talking to already knows that you are gay.

For some people this will be true, for others they might have thought it was a possibility but they weren’t really wrapped up in it. The rest this will come as a bit of a surprise, but because you clearly thought they knew you were gay, they will feel obliged to act like they did!

3 Tricks to Great Confidence – Audio Presentation

Paul Bailey — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 22:28:32 +0000

I was recently asked by the Gay Coaches Alliance to a presentation on Confidence Coaching.

I thought visitors might find this presentation of interest. It’s almost 20 minutes long, but jam packed full of tips and tricks to help boost your of self confidence.

Whether you want to boost your own confidence or help someone else then you’ll find loads of ideas by listening to the presentation.

Please do take a moment to comment on this presentation, as I’d be happy to do more if it’s something that works well for people. I’d love to know what you think.

Group Confidence Coaching

Paul Bailey — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:04:46 +0000

The group coaching sessions are already back in action after a break over December. Our next meetup in 21 Feb at 7pm in Victoria. If you’re interested in coming along then you’ll need to register over at http://www.meetup.com/Confidence-Building-for-Gay-Men

Places are VERY limited, so make sure you get a place by booking up quickly!

Boyz Magazine

Paul Bailey — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:03:18 +0000

The lovely guys at Boyz Magazine have published an article on me and my up coming appearance on the new Gok Wan: Teens show.

You can download and read the PDF version here, or pick up a copy from your local bar.

NEWS FLASH: Its official!

Paul Bailey — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:08:37 +0000

I’m not sure which episode I’ll be in but the first one has been confirmed as showing on Channel 4 7th Feb 8pm. You can read a bit more about what happened in my earlier press release.

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