Gay Massage Lovers - A Guide from A-Z

Photo of the Week

2012-01-27T13:27:00.001-08:00

Abs & Stomach Massage Tones, Strengthens and Stimulates

2012-01-27T13:23:00.000-08:00

Regular abdominal and stomach massage tones and strengthens your entire abdominal and stomach region, enhances digestion and stimulates your bowels. According to traditional Chinese medicine (a complete medical system which has developed continuously over at least 2500 years) the abdomen houses an important energy centre, therefore massaging this area also energizes your body.

Abdominal massage can be incorporated into your regular abs exercise routine, or done on its own first thing in the morning as a before breakfast boost. A gentle belly massage is also a goodremedy for over eating, indigestion, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Massaging your stomach and abdomen is safe, however check with your health professional beforetrying it, especially if you have a history of problems in this area or you haven't exercised for sometime.

Abs and Stomach Massage

1. Stand with your feet parallel and about shoulder width apart.

Slightly bend your legs and sink your weight down into them.

Keep your back straight.

Or, sit on a firm but comfortable chair with your back straight.

Or, lie down on your back in bed or on the floor.

Either take your top off or pull it up so that your stomach and abdominal area is bare.

2. Rub your hands together briskly until they are hot.
Immediately place them, one on top of the other, just below your bellybutton.

Using your palm and fingers rub in small, clockwise circles around your belly button, i.e. following the path of your colon.

Use fairly firm pressure, but not so much that it's uncomfortable.

Rub in small circles at first. Gradually make them bigger, so that eventually you are massaging your entire abdominal and stomach area.

Focus your attention on the heat penetrating your abdomen.

Do 40-50 circles or simply massage for several minutes, once or twice a day.

When you've finished cover the area immediately to keep it warm.

Benefits

- Tones & strengthens your abs
- Invigorates your abdominal organs
- Enhances blood circulation in the area
- Stimulates sluggish digestion
- Stimulates a vital energy centre
- Remedy for indigestion & constipation

Tips

- Empty your bladder first
- If your hands are very cold, warm them in hot water first, then rub them together - never massage with cold hands!
- Rub your abdomen after meals to enhance digestion & boost nutrient absorption
- Note: To help stop diarrhea, reverse the rubbing direction, i.e. rub in counterclockwise circles around your abdomen
- Massaging your stomach and abdomen daily is a highly recommended Chinese health exercise.

Musictherapic Massage

2012-01-26T09:21:00.000-08:00

Check this video out of a masseur in Hungary who massages to the music of Prodigy.

Here is what he has to say about his unique bodywork experience:

"If we hear a beat or sound, the vibration of our body is changed in this moment and conform to the vibration of the heard sounds. It's called passive musictherapy. When we using massage technics in this moments -the moments of music- , the effects of our therapy will be greater and deeper. It will be like an experience journey. If we combine music and massage as two different types of therapies, the power of these treatments is doubled...We do this in our school in Hungary...come and try it! :)"

His website: www.musictherapicmassage.com

Top Ten Songs To Massage A Hipster To

2012-01-26T09:16:00.000-08:00

From a reiki masseur, here is his list of the best tracks to play to "new-age" seekers:

"Boadicea" by Enya

"Alice" by Cocteau Twins

"Where Is My Mind?" by Yoav

"White Cloud Intellect" by LAL

"Everyday" by Cinematic Orchestra

"Indian Stomp" by Cyrus (Random Trio)

"Trans Fatty Acid (K&D Session)" by Lamb

"Samba de Bençao" by Bebel Gilberto

"Rossignol" by The Sea and Cake

"I Believe in You" by Talk Talk

Gay Saunas In Buenos Aires, Argentina

2012-01-26T09:04:00.000-08:00

With the US dollar hovering at over $4.00 pesos/dollar it is becoming more attractive to visit an emerging gay haven for men: Buenos Aires. Here is a list of four saunas that are a treat to visit if you do find yourself down south. Experience for yourself some Latin flavor and a steam...

Here is a glossary for non-Spanish speakers -
Camara de Vapor - Turkish (steam) hot room.
Camara Seca - Finnish (dry) hot room.
Sala de Descansa - relaxation and rest room.
Ducha Española - cold shower.
Sala de Video - video room.
Cuarto Oscuro - dark room.
Hidromasaje - jacuzzi.
Masajista - masseur.
Pileta - pool.

A Full Spa, Viamonte 1770. (Subte: Callao, Line D)
Telf: 4371-7263. Email: info@afullspa.com
Web-site: http://www.afullspa.com/
Open 12 am - 3 am weekdays; open 24 hours at weekends. Entry $25 (discount coupon on web site).
Largest and most popular gay sauna in the city. Ground floor has changing rooms, bar/cafe, dry heat room, steam room, private cabins. Upper floor (front) has jacuzzi, gym, pool table. Upper floor (rear) has private cabins. Very popular on Sunday evenings. Masseurs available.

Nagasaki Spa, Aguero 427, Abasto. (Subte: Carlos Gardel, Line B)
Telf: 4866-6335. Email: info@nagasakispa.com
Web-site: http://www.nagasakispa.com/
Open daily, 1 pm - midnight. Entry $25 (discount for under-30s on Mon. & Tue., show ID document).
Brand new sauna in Buenos Aires opened 2008. All the facilities you would expect from a top class sauna including possibly the only sling in the city. Go to the web site and click on Galería then Actual to see pictures of all the interior.

Energy Spa, Bravard 1105 y Av. Angel Gallardo. (Subte: Gallardo, Line B)
Telf: 4854-5625. Email: energyspa@fibertel.com.ar
Web-site: http://www.energy-spa.com.ar/
Open Mon. - Sun., 12:00 - 24:00. Sauna for gay men opened in mid-2006. Large, clean, well-equipped, friendly staff. Ground floor has changing rooms, large dry heat room, steam room, plunge pool, jacuzzi. Upper floor has bar/cafe, small dry heat room, private cabins, porno video room, dark area. Masseur available. Very popular on Sundays.

Unikus, Av. Pueyrredon 1180. (Subte: Pueyrredon, Line D)
Telf: 4961-7792.
Web-site: http://www.unikusspa.com.ar/
Open daily. Small, fairly basic sauna popular with older men. Masseur available.

This Is Why Germans Are The "Hardest" Workers

2012-01-24T09:44:00.000-08:00

It is refreshing how open some countries are with the business of sex, as per this photo we found in a town in Germany. Now that's a mission statement!

Photo of the Week

2012-01-21T20:23:00.001-08:00

Education: Male Genitalia Exam

2012-01-21T20:19:00.001-08:00

Yogassage

2012-01-21T20:16:00.000-08:00

Come with an open mind - YOGASSAGE is the answer to your physical and emotional well-being.

The sensual experience of yogassage opens up energy channels and allows you to either completely relax and de-stress or stimulate and re- energize. Enjoy restorative yoga poses to open and balance the body in combination with grounding pna yoga massage techniques for relaxation.

yogassage works deep into the muscles through the power of touch alternately stimulating and relaxing your body to move towards balance. Supported by a mixture of stimulating herb infused essential oils yogassage concludes with special relaxation techniques and savasana to ensure you take the state of bliss with you long after the session is over. Yogassage can either be done with towels carefully draped to cover untreated areas or in underwear, the choice is yours!

Benefits:

• Body awareness - Yogassage differs from regular massage in the way that you will rest in a restorative yoga pose. This means that Yogassage will result in physical benefits that cannot be achieved with any other form of massage. Some of these physical benefits are better alignment and improved posture.
• Enhanced range of motion - Yogassage sessions include range-of- motion movement and gentle stretching manipulations, which greatly enhance the range of motion and elongate tight or contracted muscles. Yogassage greatly enhances your mobility of joint movement.
• Increased circulation - just as with many other forms of massage therapy, Yogassage has the important benefit to the body of increased circulation. Yogassage stimulates and balances the flow of healing energy (prana) within the body, which means better overall health, as well as the body's ability to heal more quickly and fully.
• Promotes relaxation - Yogassage, like many forms of massage therapy, results in deep relaxation. This system creates a powerful release of stress and tension, especially when it is combined with energy work. It deepens the connection between body and mind - erotic energy will be increased.

Setting the Environment for a Reiki Room

2012-01-19T08:59:00.000-08:00

Reiki is a very relaxing experience for anyone to who receives it. Providing the right environment can only enhance the experience.

Being able to provide a relaxing and peaceful area for a Reiki session is one of the best ways to encourage the mind and body connection that occurs during a healing session. Consider using the senses when setting up an area for provide Reiki healing.

A Visually Relaxing Environment

The visual stimulation in a Reiki room is not an area to overlook. Providing visual interest aids in setting a peaceful and serene environment for relaxation. Pictures of waterfalls, streams and shady wooded areas are great ideas for inducing a calm feeling.

Color is very important. When choosing wall colors, warm and balancing colors work well. Brown is earthy and provides grounding. Red and orange are warm colors, but too stimulating. Yellow is the color which enhances mental clarity and self-esteem. Green is a neutral color and is balancing and encourages love and emotional energy. Blue, indigo and violet are all cool colors and may not produce the relaxing environment that is necessary for deep relaxation and healing.

The Peaceful Sounds of Healing

Providing soothing music is a nice complement to receiving Reiki. Good choices are nature sounds including running water, wind, thunderstorms and forest animal sounds. Additionally, instrumentals work well with Reiki healing. Piano, harps and woodwind are all pleasing choices which encourage relaxation.

Other ways to bring sound into the Reiki room include adding a water feature such as a desktop waterfall. Chimes hanging near a window that can jiggle in the breeze also enhances a peaceful feeling. Providing music through a sound machine can also be a part of the room. Many sound machines have special repetitive selections which change the alpha, delta and theta waves in the brain resulting in active relaxation of the mind.

Providing Scensational Experiences

Scents can either stimulate or relax the mind, and therefore, the body. Although, fragrant oils are typically stronger, the use of true essential oils produces physical effects on the mind and body. Essential oils also contain no synthetic ingredients and can assist in reducing the amount of toxins in the room. Oils which are relaxing include lavender, blue chamomile and eucalyptus. Oils can be placed in an oil burner or a diffuser to emit their scent around the room.

Lit candles not only set the room for relaxation, but can provide additional smelling sensations as well. Soy, candle tarts and wickless candles are very good choices. Spraying the Reiki table and linens with a lavender spritzer can also be used to promote a peaceful feeling. When looking to provide a more encouraging atmosphere, try using orange, mandarin and lemongrass essential oils. Each of these oils are associated with stress relief and are uplifting.

Encouraging Reiki Healing Through Taste
Believe it or not, the sense of taste has a great deal to due with relaxation and healing. Providing fresh ice water or spring water in bottles is not only necessary, but healthy as well. Water can also be flavored with fresh squeezed lemons or limes with a slice wedged on the edge of the glass.

Healing begins with the nourishment that is provided to the body. Having bowls of fresh fruits stimulate a healthy appetite. Serving loose leaf teas also encourages good health and promotes relaxation. Green, black and herbal tea blends are excellent choices to offer after a Reiki session. Having available organic chocolates and mixed nuts is also a warming addition to a calming environment.

Stimulating the Senses

Since Reiki is a form of touch therapy, stimulating the sense of touch is essential in a Reiki room. Properly outfitting the Reiki table is important. Provide clean, crisp fresh linens. A soft pillow and leg rest are also needed to provide comfort. The table should be soft, yet provide firm support. Look for a table with at least two inches of foam padding.

Since a client should remove shoes before a Reiki session, a comfortable flooring should be considered. Plush cushioning on chairs can induce a peaceful and welcome feeling. Smooth sculptures, marble or even a gazing ball invite touch. Wall hangings with varying textures stimulate the feeling sensations. Using beaded curtains or dried reed is another way of adding visual touch.

Providing the right environment for giving Reiki healing can only enhance the experience for both the giver and receiver. Additional ways to add comfort and a feeling of peace include accessorizing with fresh cut flowers and live plants. Dim lighting (in addition to lit candles) encourages rest. Visually stimulating or interesting artwork helps fill empty wall space. An Asian theme is fitting with the Japanese Reiki healing. Sticking with a Zen approach to decorating keeps things fresh, clean and uncluttered - a perfect setting for a successful Reiki healing.

For more reading on Reiki, please read Healing with Reiki and The Five Reiki Principles.

Zen Shiatsu

2012-01-19T08:52:00.000-08:00

Zen is a form of Buddhism that had its origins in Japan. Shiatsu is a Japanese word meaning finger pressure. Together, Zen Shiatsu refers to a particular style of shiatsu that is popular in the West. It was founded by Shizuto Masunaga who integrated elements of shiatsu, Western psychology and Chinese medicine to create Zen Shiatsu therapy. It is said to enhance the inherent healing powers of the physical body, so that the patient is relieved of the symptoms of disease and will regain his energy levels.

Zen Shiatsu holds that all health problems are related to imbalances in yin and yang, or disharmonies between the internal organs and blockages to the circulation of ki, or energy, through the meridians (imaginary vertical lines in the body). Zen Shiatsu involves a systemic form of diagnosis using shiatsu. This means, problematic spots in the body are determined in a systematic manner before treatment. By visualizing the meridian stream, mapping the abdominal region (hara), identifying meridian diagnosis points and palpating them, the Zen Shiatsu practitioner identifies accurately the meridians to be treated in the patient's body.

While Shiatsu refers to a therapy through the application of pressure using fingers, Zen Shiatsu refers to a kind of therapy that is administered using thumbs, fingers, palms and elbows, feet and knees. A Zen Shiatsu practitioner must be a meditative person with the ability to detect subtle body responses to treatment. In this method, pressure is applied to all parts of the body along specific pathways called meridians. These are the same meridians that are used in Chinese acupuncture treatment.

The five basic tenets of Zen Shiatsu therapy are: a relaxed practitioner; therapy focused on penetration rather than pressure; simple, direct, perpendicular penetration; two hands on the patient’s body at all times; and treat the entire meridian as a whole.

The trained, Zen Shiatsu therapist first feels the body, evaluates its circulatory system and identifies imbalanced areas by using his or her hands. The therapist will then try to restore the balanced flow by carefully massaging certain vital points across particular meridians. While receiving Zen Shiatsu therapy, the patient is made to lie face down on the floor. This is the ideal position from which the practitioner can easily apply pressure on various parts of the body using his body weight. It is important that the patient who is receiving Zen Shiatsu therapy wears light and loose clothing.

Zen Shiatsu is said to calm the nerves and thereby create a resistance to stress. It also enhances the blood and lymph flow within the body, strengthens the muscles and internal organs of the body. Zen Shiatsu also increases the immunity of a person. Regular Zen Shiatsu therapy can help in improving the overall health of a person.

Masseur Video: Here's "Sensual" Rob

2012-01-17T17:36:00.001-08:00

Mobile Paraffin Treatment

2012-01-17T17:33:00.000-08:00

Are you a mobile spa professional? Why not let your clients experience the luxury of paraffin treatment at home? With a few adjustments to your in-office paraffin routine, you can take your wax treatment on the road.

One of the first obstacles to mobile wax treatment is the time it takes to melt the wax. If you wait to melt the wax until you reach the client’s home, you could be there several hours before the paraffin is ready for use. The trick is to melt the wax in your office before your mobile appointment.

To melt the wax faster, use only as much wax as you need. After the wax is completely melted, unplug the paraffin heater and let the wax harden slightly to keep it from spilling as you carry the heater to the car. Place the heater in a plastic tub or insulated tote, and wrap towels around it to retain the heat. If possible, position the tub in the vehicle so that it will not be able to tip over.

As soon as you get to the client’s home, plug in the paraffin heater to re-melt the wax. If you are using the same wax for more than one client, pour or scoop a portion of the wax into a smaller bowl lined with a plastic bag. Then brush the paraffin wax onto the client’s hands and feet. By brushing instead of dipping, you can melt a smaller amount of wax. For clients who are sensitive to heat, brushing on the wax allows you to control the temperature.

As soon as you are done with the paraffin heater, unplug it and allow the wax to cool and harden slightly before packing it up to go home.

The 4-Handed Experience

2012-01-15T14:53:00.000-08:00

Four hand massage is a type of massage therapy which involves two therapists working simultaneously, creating a choreographed massage. Your body stops tracking the motion and settles into profound, deep relaxation and peace. There are a number of different styles of four hand massage to choose from, with most spas explaining the options to their patrons so that they can select the style which works best for them. As a general rule, four hand massage is more expensive than other forms of massage, since two therapists must be compensated for their time and skill. Not all spas offer this service; if it is something that you want, you may need to ask around to find masseurs who perform it.

During the most classic form of four hand massage, the therapists mirror each other, with one therapist taking the lead while the other follows. The therapists usually use Swedish style massage techniques, combining long, slowing strokes with other techniques which are designed to relax the body. Typically clients can request special attention for one area of the body, such as the back or legs, and the therapists can tailor the session to the needs of the client.

In other cases, each therapist may focus on a specific area of the body during a four hand massage, with one working on the upper body and one working on the lower body. Four hand massage can also combine massage techniques, with one therapist doing reflexology while another gives a Swedish style massage, for example. Generally, energy work such as reiki is not incorporated into a four hand massage, because the environment is not calm enough.

The benefits are significant. You get the unique approach of 2 therapists simultaneously. The muscle tissue can be thoroughly broken down and cleaned. It’s twice the massage in one session. Chronic pain suffers can benefit because problem areas can be worked deeper and longer. Athlete’s will love these intense sessions as they will thoroughly be prepared for training, meets and competitive events.

Many people enjoy four hand massage because they find it extremely relaxing, and they enjoy the sensation of being pampered by two massage therapists. It can take some time to get used to, as the sensation is very different from regular massage and it requires good communication between the client and the therapists. People who are very modest may also find four hand massage uncomfortable, as the draping tends to be more limited, although modest clients may choose to wear undergarments or even clothes, if desired.

Keeping Clients Climate-happy

2012-01-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

How do you deal with clients that are always hot or always cold? Each client will have a different preference for temperature during the massage. Some may run hot, some cold, and some will be just right. It’s important to ask the client before each session if they are warm enough or too hot. Then make adjustments to make them more comfortable.

If clients are too cold…

- Warm up chilled clients with a massage table warmer pad.
- Add an extra blanket on top of the sheets.
- Keep another blanket in the room in case one blanket isn’t enough.
- Use a massage table warmer pad to apply heat underneath the client, along with the warmth of a blanket on top.
- Keep the client covered as much as possible. Only uncover sections of the body as you need access to them.
- Use flannel sheets instead of cotton or poly.
- Suggest hot stones as an add-on treatment.
- Wrap the hands and feet with hot, moist towels. Before the towels cool, replace them with fresh ones from the hot towel cabinet.
- Drape the base of the neck with a hot towel. Replace with a fresh hot towel as needed.
- Warm up your hands and the massage oil to keep from chilling the client with cold hands or lubricant.
- If you can control the temperature of the treatment room, turn up the heat (or turn down the air conditioning) before the client arrives.
- Use a space heater to warm up the room before the massage session. If it tends to run on the noisy side, turn it off just before the session begins.

The physical exertion of the massage may leave you hot while the client is still cold. Compensate for this by wearing light, loose clothing.

If clients are too warm…

- If you can control the temperature of the treatment room, turn down the temperature before the client arrives.
- Use cotton massage sheets and forego the blanket.
- Use a ceiling fan or small portable fan to circulate the air. For rooms without air conditioning, set a small bucket of ice in front of the fan to cool down the air. Leave the fan on during the massage. It’s also a great way to muffle outside noises.
- Uncover the client’s feet, lower legs, and arms to help cool down the entire body.
- Offer moist, refrigerated towels or a refrigerated eye mask to the client. Wrap the neck and feet with cool, moist towels.

If you know that a client is always cold (often the elderly or very thin people) or always hot (often heavyset clients and menopausal women), write it down on their chart so you can adjust the temperature of the room before the client arrives.

Masseur Picture of the Week

2012-01-15T14:39:00.000-08:00

Nude vs. Erotic

2012-01-13T09:59:00.000-08:00

We receive this question often. So let's give a quick overview of the difference between a nude massage and an erotic one.

Keep in mind that "An erotic massage are always nude massages. However, not all nude massages are erotic". Does this sound much like an SAT exam question? The terms can be very ambiguous and semantic to varying masseurs, so always ask direct questions from the provider.

There has never been a better time to toss your stress aside and get yourself a nude massage. You may be surprised just how many people have added the services of a professional massage therapist in to their regular monthly budget. There are many people who love the erotic massage techniques so much that they have them scheduled months early to be sure they get the therapist they are used to having and that they feel they can best communicate with. For most clients there must be a connection with their masseur either on a physical or an intellectual level. By having this connection, they can better express their desires to the nude massage provider so they can get their massage just the way they like it most. There are differences in erotic massage and nude massage , so before you pick up the phone, let’s look at those differences. There is nothing more frustrating than paying for a service that isn’t what you expected it to be.

The erotic massage concentrates more on the erogenous zones of your body. It helps you to relax and helps you to get sexually aroused to the point of having an explosive climax. It is up to you whether you want the erotic massage therapist to stay for the climax, or if you want that to be a more personal experience.

The nude massage is simply a massage that you receive while you are nude. The massage therapist may or may not be nude and with most, that decision is yours to make. The nude massage can be done in varying levels of pressure from light to medium and firm depending again on your preference. This type of massage concentrates on providing you with complete relaxation. Nude massage often includes the use of soft candle light, relaxing essential oils and long smooth strokes to your major muscle groups. The masseur's trained hands know exactly what to do, but they appreciate your ability to communicate what feels best for you and your specific needs.

It is completely up to you which type of massage you want. Finding someone to perform a professional massage is easier than you may think. While it is possible to find them in the phone book, most people prefer to find their masseur online, www.gaymassagenow.com, so they can view pictures and get to know them a little bit before the actual meeting takes place. Read the fine print on the websites you go to and make sure they offer exactly what you want before you make any commitment.

When in doubt... ASK! :)

Massage With Butt Plug

2012-01-13T09:33:00.000-08:00

gay massage guy plays with buttplug on male client
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Let's Go Massage Clubbing!

2012-01-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

Music, dancing, drinks... and oh... how about an erotic massage? A new clubbing wave for a Saturday night. Check this video out.

Photo of the Week: Massage from an Angel

2012-01-11T09:21:00.001-08:00

Top 10 Exotic Spa Destinations

2012-01-11T09:14:00.001-08:00

Exotic spa destinations are becoming an increasingly preferred place for recreation and attract tourists annually from around the world for its wonderful climate, dazzling white beaches, crystal clear sea and the variety of water sports, which allow the simultaneous combination of active relaxation and complete relaxation.

Bali

They call it the island Of the Gods, the earthly paradise, the treasure of the Indonesian archipelago...

For more than 40 years, experts are trying to unravel the mystery of this island and its enormous appeal to everyone that decide to indulge in the magic of spa rituals that deliver an incredible delight for all senses, and to obtain complete relaxation.

Not for nothing this year the Island of Bali took the title, ''The Spa Capital of Asia'', from the Asian spa awards.

The people of Bali for several centuries have used the principles of illustrious healing and a rehabilitation system called "mosque". Marine algae, tropical plants, exotic spices and fruits are all used in this procedure.

In the spa center of the luxurious Ritz-Carlton, they are offering exclusive spa programs:

Marine Wave Deluxe - set of procedures, including body wrap with seaweed, massage showers, underwater massage with herbal extracts;

Sinta Abadi (Eternal Love) - a program that starts with a foot bath with fragrant flowers, peels, hand massage, and a choice for the body, flower bath, spa facial.

Aromatic Petal Massage - sensual massage with fragrant flowers, combining the techniques of Swedish massage, Hawaiian Lomi-Lomi and typical Balinese tapping ensemble which aids incredible muscle relaxation and removes tension and stress.

Aruba

Aruba is one of the most beautiful islands in the Caribbean Sea, located only 40 km from the northern coast of Venezuela. Beautiful beaches, crystal clear water, beautiful coral reefs and the wonderful climate make Aruba a favorite place for relaxation and recreation.

The island is known as the Caribbean because of the tens of Monte Carlo casinos, "housed" in luxurious hotels. The Grand resort Rineysans is in Aruba and is near the capital, the private island Rineysans.

It has six beaches, three pools, two casinos, a center for underwater swimming, a gorgeous park and a huge center for health and beauty "Oceanos SPA". The center offers healing and spa treatments, based on the latest technology, all kinds of massages, hydrotherapy, dry and steam sauna and special rehabilitation programs. Here you can enjoy the most exciting nightlife and entertainment in Aruba.

Mallorca

Once called "peaceful island", today Mallorca is a spot of entertainment, exotic adventures, endless sandy beaches and amazingly beautiful nature. Supported with romance, Mallorca has repeatedly been a source of inspiration to the world famous writers, artists, composers and artists.

Frederic Chopin and Juan Miro, Robert Graves and Agatha Christie have been and discovered for themselves and they praised the beauty of this magical island attraction.

Residencia Hotel is situated amidst the greenery of palm trees and cypress trees on the northwest coast. The hotel is a unique summer residence having the embodiment of elegance and romanticism. Beautifully landscaped gardens with fragrant roses, orange and olive trees and numerous courtyards which is attracted by the freshness of the lush greenery.

You will enjoy the wonderful peace and privacy and achieve of the spiritual harmony. The SPA center of the hotel is ultra modern and has a 16 meter indoor pool, sauna, steam room and luxurious rooms for various treatments.

Highly skilled professionals offer various programs for face and body, La Stone Therapy, reflexology and other therapeutic procedures.

Maldives

Maldives are a fascinating mosaic of small islands with dazzling white beaches, "overshadowed" by magnificent palms and caressed by warm turquoise water of the ocean.

Two of the most attractive entertainments in the Maldives are incredible. Firstly is has one of the best diving attractions in the world and holds the opportunities of traveling to uninhabited islands where you can feel like Robinson Crusoe, to merge with its magnificent scenery and are able to escape from civilization for a while.

Unadulterated romance and active holiday's combined with unforgettable adventures; attract tourists from around the world in the Maldives.

The hotel "4 Seasons" fully renovated, opened its doors in 2006, and is situated on the picturesque island kuda Hura, which abounds in tropical plants, but the beach, is wide and covered with fine white sand. Some islands have amazingly beautiful coral reef lagoons.

The complex consists of exotic bungalows with reed roofs, some of which are located on the beach and the other are in the water. The Island spa is located on a separate little island, for guests they provide a traditional Maldivian boat which constantly crosses the lagoon.

Seychelles

An archipelago of 115 islands with breathtaking beauty and mystery located in the western Indian Ocean, the Seychelles is famous for its natural and untouched nature, one of the cleanest and most beautiful beaches in the world, offering an unforgettable holiday and rest for the senses.

The sand and coral islands are blindingly white and have an unusual feature of not reaching temperatures of above 30 degrees above zero. The nature is incredibly beautiful with the small volcanic and coral islands being covered with flowers, tropical plants, palm forests and having some unique species.

The beautiful beaches and lagoons near the tropical gardens house numerous luxury hotels. On the northwestern coast of the islands is the biggest and most beautiful beach of Beau Valon and is located at the five stars Hilton Seychelles. The hotel consists of 40 luxurious villas, one of which is named in honor of Ian Fleming, the author of the popular novels about James Bond.

The spa center offers a wide choice of relaxing procedures and massages, Ayurveda treatments and many others, restoring the harmony of body and spirit.

Cayman Islands

Cayman Islands are located in the central part of the Caribbean south of Cuba and northwest of Jamaica, and cover an area of 259 square miles and integrate the three islands, Grand Cayman, Little Cayman and Cayman Marriage.

Besides being the largest and most modern, Grand Cayman is the most attractive with its amazing flora and fauna, which will enchant you directly. Silver palm trees, parrots, tortoises, orchids, palm (banned from leaving the country as being a unique natural) have become a true emblem of the island. Here is located the capital, Georgetown.

One of the most famous and super luxury hotels, Grand Cayman Marriott, is located on the famous beach "7 mile Beach'' (7 miles in length with dazzling white and soft sand) which is on the island of Grand Cayman. The hotel is surrounded by a garden of fragrant tropical flowers and is located at the beginning of the famous beach.

It is completely reconstructed and offers ideal conditions for rest and relaxation. Exotic interior, full of warm colors and has a wonderful harmony with the picturesque landscape of the island. The Spa Center "La Mer" offers a wide range of procedures and revitalizing products from the world famous French cosmetic brand "Ion-ka '' and all kinds of massages, healing therapies, remedial and many others.

Philippines

Philippines are located in the western Pacific Ocean and up the archipelago of 7107 islands (about 1000 of them inhabited) with a unique culture, history, ethnic diversity and exotic nature.

Boracay is a small island with coral origin, but is considered one of the most picturesque and is entered into the five best resort areas in the world. The famous White Beach is a 5 kilometer white sand beach, great waves and coral reefs attract tourists constantly.

Boracay is an ideal place for diving and other water sports. On the shore of the ocean alongside the White Beach, are stylish hotels, comfortable bungalows and villas. Mandala Spa Hotel is a project created by the famous Italian architect and designer, Antonio Siterio and is located in the northern part of the island.

12 luxurious villas are the ideal entry into the hilly landscape. The villas are spacious, stylishly decorated and extremely comfortable. The Spa center offers a variety of methods that restore harmony of body and soul, Ayurveda treatments, all types of massages, aromatherapy, yoga classes, and corporate programs designed specifically for women and men.

The hotel, Fried Beach is located in the northern part of the Boracay Island at White Beach, and is a complex of traditional Filipino bungalows covered with reeds and palm leaves. Bungalows are surrounded with beautiful tropical gardens with fragrant flowers. The spa center offers various types of massages, therapeutic programs, aromatherapy and other exotic rituals of youth and beauty.

Antigua and Barbuda

The Nature Island of Antigua has an impressive set: the panorama of the sea smooth landscape is changing with the hilly slopes covered with cacti, and the beaches of casualties in its white sand.

In addition, numerous coral reefs and picturesque flora and fauna make the island a true piece of paradise for rest and complete relaxation.

Not less exotic is Barbuda (located 40 km from Antigua), which also boasts of stunning beaches and coral reefs.

The hotel Caribian Sandals Antigua is located on the west coast of Antigua; it combines the exotic charm of a quiet fishing village and comfort of the highest caliber and has won a prize for the most romantic hotel in the world. The magnificent beaches are of fine sand, turquoise waves of the sea, waving palm trees in the wind and are a beautiful place filled with lots of romance and charm.

Everywhere has a wonderful scent of blooming jasmine and orchids. The hotel has 5 swimming pools, water sports center, tennis courts and golf course. The spa center, Red Lane combines the most modern equipment with unique Caribbean charm.

They offer all kinds of massage, classical, Colombian, Swedish, Hot stones, tropical treatments for face and body products with the world mark, Pevonia. Also procedures with clay and seaweed and comprehensive rehabilitation programs.

Barbados

Barbados was a popular destination in the 70's of last century, and today is visited annually by millions of tourists from around the world. Lush tropical vegetation and beaches of fine coral sand, azure sea, with luxury hotels and services of the highest class made Barbados a favorite place for seekers of excitement, and for lovers of the exotic.

The most popular and attractive tourist beach areas are, Gibbs Beach which is16 km west of the capital, fantastic Mulins Bay (especially favored by lovers of scuba diving), and gorgeous beaches, Peyns Bay and Sandy Bay. Hotel, Royal Pavilion Fearmont is located on the west coast and was called "the precious jewel'' in the crown of Barbados. The landscape of azure lagoon, magnificent palm trees and dazzling white beaches surround the hotel and further underscores the atmosphere of impressive splendor.

The hotel has two pools, two tennis courts, golf course, water sports center and a modern spa center. The spa center offers a variety of therapies with aromatic oils, all types of massages, hydrotherapy and many other remedial procedures.

Mauritius

Mauritius is one of the most prestigious and luxurious places in the world for complete relaxation. They call it the five star paradise island dreams, a truly magnificent and unforgettable spa destination.

The most luxurious, "Saint Zheran" which ranks in the top of Forbes for the most expensive in the world for spa resorts and hotels, is located two kilometers of its own sandy beach and has gardens with tropical trees, swimming pools, golf course, tennis courts and restaurants in the shade of coconut palms that occupy huge areas.

The hotel is built in a traditional French colonial style; a clean interior imparts a unique luxury and refinement. The spa center offers a diverse selection of therapies with products from Swiss care, especially designed for Givenchy.

Aromatherapy, Turkish bath, steam and dry saunas, reflex, various types of massage, facial and body, can be left in the hands of the highly skilled therapists enabling you to enjoy an incredible vacation, to restore harmony of body and spirit.

Best Spas in India

2012-01-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

The spa industry in India has seen some phenomenal growth in recent years. Kerala, with its ayurvedic roots, has emerged as a hot destination for spa tourism. You'll also find some wonderfully refreshing destination spas in the mountains, and enticing resort spas in India.

As well as skin treatments and massages, most spas in India have now evolved to include a number of different therapies, such as reflexology, hydrotherapy, aromatherapy, and meditation. All you need to do is lie back and enjoy being pampered!

Here are the 10 best luxury spas in India.

1. Wildflower Hall Spa, Shimla

Set amongst cedar forests, with fresh air and a view of snow capped mountains, the Spa Pavilion at the Oberoi's Wildflower Hall Resort is a haven of tranquility. Twice voted "India’s Best Spa Resort" in the World Travel Awards, the spa uses plant and flower essences in its aromatherapy and Ayurveda based treatments.

Address: Oberoi Wildflower Hall Resort, Shimla in the Himalayas, Chharabra, Shimla. Ph: (91 177) 264-8585.

Cost: $90-$130 for massages, $50 for body scrubs, $85 for body wraps, Ayurvedic treatments from $80, spa programs from $130, $25 for yoga, meditation, & pranayama.

What's Good: The luxurious Himalayan Retreat spa program, which includes body scrub, Indian head massage, full body massage, and Himalayan cedar bath.

Visit Their Website

2. Ananda In the Himalayas Spa, Rishikesh

The Ananda In the Himalayas is another award winning spa in India, set against the soothing background of the Himalayas. The spacious destination spa is built on a Maharaja's palace estate. It offers therapeutic treatments based on traditional Indian practices of ayurveda, yoga and meditation. There's also an enticing spa boutique, stocking everything from music to organic food. A three night minimum stay is required.

Address: The Palace Estate, Narendra Nagar Dist. Tehri-Garhwal, Uttarakhand. Ph: (91 1378) 227-500.

Cost: Accommodation and spa packages start from around $500 per person per night, and include special cuisine and treatments.

What's Good: The five night Stress Management Package will leave you feeling relaxed and energized.

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3. Kaya Kalp - The Royal Spa, Agra

Opened in March 2008 and declared the "World's Best City Spa" by the UK's Tatler Magazine within six months, Kaya Kalp is a spa like no other. Spread over 99,000 square feet of unsurpassed opulence, it could very well be the biggest spa in Asia. However, it's the jaw dropping grandeur of the spa that will take your breath away.

Address: ITC Mughal Hotel, Taj Ganj, Agra.

Ph: (91 562) 233-1701.

Cost: $35 for a 30 minute tension reliever massage, $95 for a 90 minute facial, $105 for the 100 minute Royal Mughal Hamam Spa Journey, $160 for the 150 minute Passage to India Spa Journey. Three hour couples packages, $350.

What's Good: Passage to India Spa Journey, which combines guided meditation with ayurvedic treatments to restore the mind and body.

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4. Maya Spa, Kumarakom

Winner of "Best Resort Spa" at the 2007 AsiaSpa awards, Maya Spa is located amidst the Kerala backwaters on the shores of Vembanad Lake. It's the largest spa in southern India and has two wings -- one dedicated to Ayurvedic treatments, and the other to Oriental and Western style treatments including massage, skin treatments, reflexology, and Shiatsu. The resort also has a special meditation and yoga pavilion on an island in the lagoon.

Address: Zuri Resort & Spa Kumarakom, Kerala.

Ph: (91 481) 252-7272.

Cost: Accommodation & spa packages from around $500 for a double per night.

What's Good: The Cloud 9 massage, where you'll receive a relaxing head massage while floating on an enveloping water bed to help relax tensed up muscles.

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5. Taj Lake Palace Jiva Spa, Udaipur

As if the alluring lake setting of the Taj Lake Palace isn't enough, the Jiva spa takes it to a whole new level. Its exquisite treatment suites, with hand painted heritage frescoes adorning their walls, are the perfect places to relax and receive an unwind. What really makes this spa unique though, is its Royal Spa Boat. It will take you gliding across Lake Pichola as you soak in the spa bath on the deck or get an aromatherapy massage.

Address: The Taj Lake Palace, Lake Pichola, Udaipur, Rajashtan.

Ph: (91 294) 2528800.

Cost:Signature "Pehlwan Malish" Warrior Massage massage $90. Scrubs & wraps $40. Royal Spa Boat packages from $300 for two.

What's Good: The Romantic Spa Escapade and Romantic Spa Indulgence packages on the Royal Spa Boat.

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6. Sereno Spa, Goa

Voted "World’s Number One Spa" and "Best Spa in the Asian and Indian Subcontinent" by the readers of Conde Nast Traveller in 2006, Sereno Spa is a real delight for the senses. Located on a quiet Goa beach and spread over 36,000 square feet, the stunning outdoor spa pavilions have breathtaking sea views. A delicious range of ayurvedic inspired massage, skin, and body treatments is on offer.

Address: Park Hyatt Goa Resort and Spa, Arossim Beach, Cansaulim, South Goa. Ph: (91 832) 272-1234.

Cost: Around $600 for a one night spa package for two.

What's Good: The Synchronised Abhyanga "Four Hands Massage", designed to invigorate the body. The Traditional Marma Facial, which includes a crown chakra massage, is excellent for mature skin types.

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7. Taj Malabar Jiva Spa, Cochin

Conde Nast Traveller readers rated the Jiva Spa, at the Taj Malabar Hotel, as one of their Top 10 favorite hotel spas in Asia for 2008. Located on a peaceful island, the spa looks out over a shimmering swimming pool that appears to merge into the ocean. Guests can choose from in-depth Ayurveda programs, traditional Indian massages, body scrubs, Ashtanga yoga and meditation. Perfect for relaxation and rejuvenation!

Address: Taj Malabar Hotel, Willingdon Island, Cochin.

Ph: (91 484) 2666811/2668010.

What's Good: The signature Jivaniya energizing treatment relives tension an improves blood circulation. It includes an exfoliating herbal scrub, heat stimulating wrap, and massage. The Narikela coconut scrub is a house favorite.

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8. Amatrra Spa, New Delhi

The sensuous Amatrra Spa defines itself as the only metropolitan standalone lifestyle spa in India. It was awarded "Best Day Spa" by AsiaSpa India in 2007, and was recognized by Forbes as one of the "10 Best Spas in India" in 2006. The spa is unique in that its treatments are based on the ancient study of "Astroveda" -- a combination of Ayurveda and astrology.

Address: The Ashok Hotel, Diplomatic Enclave, 50 B Chanakyapuri, New Delhi. Ph: (91 484) 2666811/2668010.

Cost: Aromatic baths $35. Massages and detoxification treatments from $60. Spa & lunch package $65. Half day packages $200. Full day packages from $350.

What's Good: Fully inclusive packages including wellness consultation, spa therapy, meditation, reflexology, and food.

Visit Their Website

Courtesy of About.com

Masseur of the Week: Mark from Orlando

2012-01-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

Introducing our Masseur of the Week

Name: Mark
Location: Orlando
Phone: (323) 451-2287
Email: m4mmassage@yahoo.com
Styles: Swedish, Sports, Deep Tissue, Trigger Point, Acupressure

View profile: click here

Conservation group urges Vietnam to ban bear bile massage oil

2012-01-09T16:24:00.000-08:00

Vietnam should ban a type of massage oil that contains bear bile extract, says an international conservation organization that monitors trade in endangered species.

The secretariat of CITES, the Convention on the International Trade of Endangered Species, has written to the Vietnam Drug Administration requesting the ban of a massage cream known as Misa Bear, Deutsche Presse-Agentur reports.

The bear bile massage oil claims to provide "soothing relief from minor arthritis pain, aching and strained muscles and backache," and is sold in Vietnam and China, Thai Truyen of CITES's Hanoi office told DPA.

While the commercial trade of bear products is banned in Vietnam, the use of bear bile remains widespread, DPA reports. The practice originated in China 2,000 years ago, and then spread to other East Asian countries.

The bile is extracted from the gall bladder of live bears — usually Asian black bears — and is believed to cure fevers, hemorrhoids, liver ailments and muscle injuries. It is sometimes used as an aphrodisiac.

The bears are often kept in tiny extraction cages, called "crush cages," where they suffer mental stress and their muscles atrophy.

The Asian black bear, also known as the “moon bear” because of the crescent-shaped white marking on its chest, is listed as a vulnerable species in the Appendix I of CITES, which prohibits international commercial trade in the species, its parts and derivatives.

A recent report by TRAFFIC, the wildlife trade monitoring network, found that poaching and illegal trade of bears remains widespread, largely due to the continuing demand for bear bile.

The TRAFFIC report said that bear bile products were mostly found in mainland China, as well as in Hong Kong, Malaysia, Burma and Vietnam.

Sex Work As Healthcare

2012-01-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

Sex workers can be and often are the first-line providers of care to the sexual health of men or who have sex with men, especially those who don’t identify as gay. The services provided by whores, escorts, and erotic masseurs begin with something that is often underrated in our culture: healing through pleasure. Inside every gay man are traces of a kid who’s been shamed, humiliated, silenced, or terrorized for being queer. For some people, going to a professional for sex is one way to gain permission to experience pleasure in our own bodies, which can be an amazingly powerful healing event.

Sex workers can also serve as providers of information on health matters ranging from safer sex to sexual hygiene. They can be role models of healthy male sexuality, sexual self-acceptance, and/or gay identity. They can be shame busters and stress-reduction engineers, and more. In this article, I’d like to look at sex work as health care from two different directions. What are the health-care issues that face sex workers themselves (especially since caregivers are notoriously lax about self-care)? And what are the opportunities for sex workers to convey health-consciousness to their clients?

I started working as a massage therapist in New York City over six years ago. Since then, I have done approximately 3000 sessions with clients. I got my state certification training in California at the Body Electric School, which also offers extensive training in erotic massage as a healing practice. The vast majority of the sessions I do combine Swedish/Esalen-style massage with tantric massage, which incorporates erotic touch into the massage with the intention of raising and circulating erotic energy around the body. More often than not, the client has an ejaculation -- or “release,” in the parlance of the trade -- but always in the context of a full-body experience.

Most of the time I keep my clothes on and discourage clients from interacting with me. However, in the course of my work as a professional masseur, I have engaged with clients in oral sex (active and receptive), anal sex (active and receptive), fisting, foot worship, water sports, power-and-surrender, verbal humiliation and other kinds of role-playing, body shaving, and various forms of intense body play, including spanking, flogging, bondage and discipline, blindfolding, hot wax, cock & ball torture, and experimenting with toys like titclamps, buttplugs, and vibrators. So I consider my professional employment as a masseur to fall within the realm of sex work. I don’t especially relate to the term “prostitute” -- I like the designation one client bestowed upon me, which is “pleasure activist.”

While I have incorporated many kinds of sexual interaction into my bodywork, I have also coached people on breathing and meditation. I have referred people to acupuncturists, chiropractors, medical doctors, dentists, psychotherapists, psychic healers, colonic hydrotherapists, nutritional counselors, and yoga studios. I have worked with men and women who have a history of being sexually abused and assisted them in their struggle to regain contact with their erotic bodies, to practice consent, and to honor their desires. I have shared what I know about using diet, vitamins, herbal supplements, and homeopathic remedies to treat specific ailments. I’ve given people reading lists, xeroxed articles, and brochures on tantric sex workshops. I’ve turned people on to some really great music. And I’ve listened. I consider myself a holistic health practitioner, meaning that I don’t treat bodies, I treat people, and I try to remember that every person who arrives at my massage table has numerous dimensions -- physical, emotional, erotic, ethical, and spiritual.

I don’t claim to represent or speak for sex workers as a class of people. I think my experience and practice is not typical of sex workers. I also think I am not alone in my attitudes toward sex work.

I notice that most of the conversations that take place around sex workers, especially in the context of gay men’s health, focus on them almost exclusively as an at-risk population, a vector of transmission, and the words “substance abuse” and “suicide” are usually in the picture. I’m not saying there aren’t sex workers for whom those are pressing issues. I just don’t recognize myself in those conversations.

I came into this line of work at the advanced age of 39 with an almost absurdly idealistic attitude about sexual healing. That’s because I trained with the Body Electric School in California, which was founded by a former Jesuit named Joseph Kramer as part of a mission to heal the split between sexuality and spirituality in Western culture. How’s that for ambitious? His sense of mission enflamed me. Among other things, he inspired me to investigate the work and ideas of Wilhelm Reich, a radical psychoanalyst and associate of Freud’s who revolutionized 20th century thinking about sexuality as energy. As far back as 1926, Reich was saying things like “Those who are psychically ill need but one thing -- complete and repeated genital gratification.”

My initial contact with Joe Kramer involved taking his weekend workshop, “Celebrating the Body Erotic,” which has introduced thousands of men all over the country to some basic principles of tantric sex. The workshop is structured as a series of rituals that give men practice at integrating eye contact, breathing, being in heart space, and intentional touch, including genital massage. The climax of the workshop (so to speak) is a Taoist erotic massage ritual in which each person is massaged for an hour and a half, breathing consciously and being continually pleasured erotically without the goal of ejaculation.

For many gay men, this is a new experience and one that is ultimately as much a spiritual experience as an erotic experience. That was certainly true of me. My first Taoist erotic massage broke through a logjam of unprocessed AIDS grief. I discovered, quite unexpectedly, that by trying to cultivate only positive emotions I had blocked myself from feeling almost anything, including sexual arousal. Once I let myself feel the flood of sensations, which included weeping and sobbing for quite a long time, I felt clearer and lighter and able to feel all my feelings. That was my first glimpse of sexual healing.

Joe Kramer also introduced me to the ancient concept of the sacred prostitute -- or “sacred intimate,” as he translated it -- who held the space for sex to be an experience about connection to spirit or communion with God, if you needed that in your life. Since we don’t have temples that provide that kind of worship ceremony in the United States, Joe Kramer devised an elaborate training for sacred intimates, envisioning it as a contemporary occupation. I was perhaps foolish enough to take it seriously as something to undertake professionally. In any case, I got a lot out of that training. Among other things, the Body Electric School is very scrupulous in its training programs about hygiene and protocol. So in addition to excellent instruction in skillful touch and breathwork, I got instilled with basic hygienic practices that are important in maintaining a bodywork practice.

The cardinal rule of medical ethics is “First, do no harm.” That means to yourself as well as to anybody else. A lot of the basic concepts of hygiene have to do with being mindful about preventing myself from being exposed to health hazards. Protecting myself means protecting my client. Both of us benefit.

So, for instance, I use clean sheets and towels for each client. I wash my hands, with soap and hot water, before and after a session. I try to be mindful about butt hygiene and scat germs, since probably at least half of the people I see for erotic massage enjoy some version of butt-pleasuring. I always have a supply of disposable latex gloves available for buttplay or use with toys, and dispose of them properly afterwards. Finger cots are also useful to have around, little rubbers that slide over a single finger -- I get them at hospital supply stores. If I’m inside someone’s butt with an unrubbered finger or anything else, I try to be really mindful of where that hand goes next. If I do a session where I’m playing with someone’s butt, and then I answer the phone, and then I pour a glass of water out of a pitcher in the refrigerator, I’ve left a possible trail of microbes that could expose me and any houseguests to parasites or hepatitis. Also I pay attention to lube containers and oil bottles -- am I touching them with clean hands? I often use disposable gloves to slip over a tube of KY, for example. One last word to the wise about butt stuff: Clip your fingernails. These are really basic safer-sex education things that I picked up from Body Electric trainings, and they’re worth mentioning particularly to professionals who presumably have more sexual contacts than the average person.

One of the things I like most about being a professional bodyworker is the invitation to pay attention to my own body. Am I eating right? Am I exercising? Am I keeping my body clean and well-groomed? Am I getting enough sleep? If I don’t get to a yoga class once a week, I feel tight and cranky in my body. If I don’t get a massage myself every couple of weeks, I start feeling really draggy. And I constantly have to be attentive to overworking. Bodyworkers suffer all the emotional strains of people who are self-employed. I never know when the next chunk of change is going to come along, so I’m reluctant to turn down any work. But I have to be careful about burning out. Some signs of that are when I have trouble staying in my body. Do I find that I’m numbing myself out with food, or booze, or Net-surfing? Maybe it’s time to take a break.

Some of the most important issues of self-care for sex workers have to do with groundedness. Touching a lot of different people, especially on an intimate basis, can be really really fun and exciting and satisfying at times. It also means taking on a lot of extra energy from other people, emotional and spiritual energy, and you have to find ways to clear that stuff out. I remember when I started out, I thought it was my job to have sex with absolutely anybody who walked in the door, just because they wanted it. The third day, a guy came for a massage who was really depressed and angry and a complete black cloud of negative energy. Visions of sexual healing dancing in my head, I got naked and gave him a very erotic session and was wide open with him -- and promptly got sick and wasn’t able to work at all for several days. It was like I’d drunk a couple of gallons of toxic waste.

So I had to learn very quickly how to assess people’s energy, how to control how much of it to take on, how to maintain my own balance and my own values and my own mood. Taking showers is one way of clearing. Drinking a lot of water is important. I also got into the habit of burning sage, especially after an emotionally intense session, which is Native American medicine for clearing and purifying sacred space for doing ritual.

Another issue for sex workers is emotional support. Unlike office work, you don’t necessarily have a crew of people around you who do the same thing, whom you can talk to about your work. Unlike social work or psychotherapy, there’s no tradition of supervision for sex workers. You walk around with this gigantic secret in your head that you feel like you can’t share with just anybody. What happens when you feel overwhelmed, or troubled, or ashamed, or anxious, or conflicted, or you find your boundaries getting slippery, or your safe-sex standards flying out the window? What are your own emotional needs? What are your own sexual wounds that you might be acting out in your work? It helps to know these things about yourself, and if you don’t have a friend you trust to discuss these things with, it helps to find a psychotherapist to explore these questions with. I know I have a tremendous amount of fear and trepidation about being judged or shamed by other people if I talk about my erotic bodywork practice, especially when I have conflicts or troublesome questions. I had an assumption that any therapist would fixate on this work as being illegal or pathological or compulsive or dangerous. Luckily, that’s not turned out to be the case.

In dealing with clients, I’ve come to realize that almost everything I do becomes a model of behavior. If I’m direct and honest and upfront with them, it’s a signal that they are free to be direct and honest and upfront with me. Likewise, if I’m erratic about returning phone calls or slippery with them about the fee or manipulative about the transaction in any way, I’m issuing them a license to be erratic or slippery or manipulative with me. How I dress, how clean my bathroom is, how mindful I am about sexual hygiene -- all of those things send a message.

I started my practice with a very idealistic attitude about my ability to provide a sense of erotic abundance and sexual generosity. I was willing to get naked and interact with many of my clients. That period lasted about two years. In my experience and observation, many guys who go into sex work do it for a couple of years at most. What happens is usually one of three things: they find a boyfriend (which may have been the goal in the first place); they disappear into a self-destructive spiral with drugs; or they become completely drained of energy and move on to some less taxing occupation. Some version of the last category happened to me. Yet I was very committed to offering loving touch and healing through pleasure, so I redefined my boundaries to make it clear to my clients that what I was offering was massage, not sex.

I want to put in a word about the value of massage, and specifically erotic bodywork. These days we have a lot of language to talk about sexual addiction and sexual compulsion. But we don’t talk very much about sexual starvation, erotic malnutrition, and touch deprivation. Being touched is a primary human need. Very few of us get touched as much as we’d like. I know there’s a lot of value to getting touched or massaged in an atmosphere that is strictly non-sexual; sometimes that’s a welcome relief and profoundly healing in itself. At the same time, for me personally, I find it kind of strange for a massage therapist to touch every part of my body but steer around my genitals, as if they don’t deserved to be touched and nurtured along with the rest of me. My sexuality then gets split off from the rest of my body. As gay men, most of us grew up having to compartmentalize our sexuality and keep it hidden, creating an unhealthy split inside us. In the work that I do, I’m specifically giving my clients a place to integrate their erotic energy with the rest of who they are. When you get a good massage, every part of you is touched and honored, often more completely and intimately than with sex partners.

A lot of the sex we have with each other is driven by a sense of lack: “I have to go outside myself to get something to make me whole or make up for some deficit.” Or we think of orgasm as something that someone else gives you. Tantra is about cultivating your own erotic energy and orgasmic capacity, which is the same pool of energy that supplies your ability to love and to pray. With tantric massage, I’m empowering the person on the table to breathe and expand and experience his own erotic self, not mine. I’m the guide, not the ride. Modelling boundaries is one of the most important things I can convey to my clients.

For sex workers, one of the most important though trickiest aspects of interacting with clients is the area of sexual ethics. Negotiating what we’re going to do together has several layers to it. Although on one level it can be a simple professional fee for service, there are always health issues in the picture. It is theoretically possible to have an erotic massage or a paid sexual encounter that is entirely free of risk of exposure to HIV or sexually transmitted diseases, and certainly many sessions are conducted with scrupulous adherence to safer-sex principles. But we all know that in the real world, there are many gray areas, and what one person considers acceptable sexual practice may be a red flag for someone else. This raises all the tricky questions. Do I disclose my HIV status? Do I ask for my partner’s? What about rimming? What about sucking? What about swallowing cum? In any encounter, but especially for sex workers who have an added responsibility, what’s important is frank and honest discussion so that if there are any risks involved, the risk is knowingly shared by both partners.

Another ethical issue for sex workers is getting tested frequently for STDs and being mindful of exposing clients to communicable infections like crabs or herpes. It’s embarrassing as hell to have to call up a sex partner and say “I have crabs or scabies or gonorrhea and you should get treated for it.” Among sexually active gay men, this is an ethical issue that we don’t address enough, in my opinion. But I think sex workers have an especially important responsibility to model integrity around sharing risks and contacting people about STDs if they show up.

I know that many of the questions I’ve had to face come from the active imaginations of my clients. One of my clients who likes to ejaculate while having his prostate stimulated one day posed this question to me: “What if you got some blood under your fingernail from the last guy?” It was a perfectly reasonable question, and I assured him that I washed my hands after every session, but I made a note to myself to question any buttplay without a glove or a finger cot. Another client said, “I liked it when you sucked me, but what if the guy at 2:00 had gonorrhea or chlamydia?” Good question.

When I hear questions like that, I definitely have to sort through layers of guilt and shame and defensiveness in response. But I really appreciate knowing that my clients are partners with me in looking at sex work as health care.

For anyone considering sex work as an occupation, you can look at sex work as an easy way to make money. You can treat it as something animalistic and mechanical and squirt-oriented and something to get over with as fast as possible. But you have to consider whether your attitude is supporting sex-shame and sex-negative messages from the culture and whether you’re missing the opportunity to have and provide someone with a transcendent experience.

I’ve partaken of almost every possibility in the gay male sexual subculture and have definitely had ecstatic experiences in bathhouses and bookstores, parks and porn theaters. But I’ve also had plenty of experiences in gay sex venues that felt alienated and heartless, and I’m aware that sex workers are part of that landscape. I really don’t want my work to contribute to feelings of emptiness and spiritual deadness. I want more erotic abundance and sexual generosity in the world. And sex workers have the opportunity -- maybe even the responsibility -- to be community leaders in advocating healing through pleasure.

DON SHEWEY was born in Denver, Colorado, grew up in a trailer park on a dirt road in Waco, Texas, lived the peripatetic childhood of an Air Force brat, studied at Rice University and Boston University, and now lives in midtown Manhattan halfway between Trump Tower and Carnegie Hall. As a journalist and critic, he has published three books about theater and written articles for the New York Times, the Village Voice, Esquire, Rolling Stone, and other publications. He has chronicled his psycho-sexual-spiritual adventures in essays that have been included in several anthologies, including “The Politics of Manhood,” “Best Gay Erotica 2000,” and “The Young and the Hung.”

To find out more about his bodywork practice, you can visit his webpage here.