rewired >< amplify

grace - it's a voice

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Sat, 12 May 2012 06:00:00 +0000

We live in a graceless world. It's ruthless. One mistake and after years of hard work and perseverance you can find yourself once again at the bottom of the food chain. It's unforgiving and seems unending. Grace is what happens when you should be fired. When I should get what I deserve, Grace is the voice that stands and says, give her another chance.

When I've made my bed and now I'm supposed to lie in it (and every other cliche that applies to this situation) Grace is standing with me saying I'll lie there with you and hold your hand.

Grace enters in.

Grace says, God's not finished with you yet.

It sounds so cliche, so trite, so used up, but let's look at that. God's not finished with you.

Once you've confessed that you're a sinner, knowing that Jesus is the only way to heaven and it's only by His blood that you can enter heaven, that truth, that God's not finished with you is like a huge force field over your life.

John 10:28 says

I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.

That's the voice of grace speaking. There's nothing you can do, no wrong decision you can make, no so-called mistake that can change grace in your life. It's the promise that He will use you...the good, the bad, the ugly, the "mistakes" He promises to use them.

When everyone else (even some Christians) is raining down judgement and discipline and condemnation, grace is the voice saying "I'm not done."

*****

Has there ever been a point in your life

when you were positive God was

finished with you?

Grace

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Thu, 10 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

photo credit

Grace first inscribed my name,In God’s eternal book:‘Twas Grace that gave me to the LambWho all my sorrows took. Grace taught my soul to pray,
And pardoning love to know;‘Twas Grace that kept me to this day,And will not let me go.-Doddridge

The Grace of God. It’s an underused and misunderstood word that is thrown around in today’s church, youth groups, Christian circles, and even used with non-Christians. So what is grace? What does this word mean? And why is it so precious?

Grace is what defines Christianity. Without it, Christianity is really no different than any other religion on this earth. Without it, Jesus Christ would never have come and all of humanity would be without hope. We would be eternally separated from God and that feeling you have when all is lost when you about to get that test back that you know you failed, that sinking feeling? Yeah, that’s what life would be like all.the.time.

Packer puts it like this, Grace is, “God’s love freely shown toward guilty sinners, contrary to their merit and indeed in defiance of what they truly deserve. It is God showing goodness to persons who deserve only punishment and had no reason to expect anything but punishment.”

Grace cost God everything, while we were STILLsinners, Jesus Christ died on a cross, not because He had done anything wrong, but because you and I are sinners and punishment was required for our sins.

Jesus made a way for you and I to enter back into a relationship with God, bring us back to how we were intended to be and originally made to be. Since Jesus died on the cross and then rose again He is now our advocate before God, meaning when you give your life to Jesus, God no longer sees you as a horrible, rotten, filthy, lousy sinner, but He sees you as He sees Jesus. He sees you not as an enemy, but as a Son or Daughter.

The question, is do you believe this? Do you understand that you deserve punishment for all the wrong you have ever done and will do? Do you understandthat Grace means that God wipes out your mistakes when you ask for forgiveness? Do you understand that you can become a Son or Daughter of the King of the Universe, God?

If you don’t, or even if you do, but you have questions, we’d love to talk with you about them!

Peacekeeper vs. Peacemaker

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Sat, 05 May 2012 13:04:00 +0000

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. - Matthew 5:9

photo credit
Conflict happens. It's not a matter of if it will happen, it's a matter of when. It shows itself in a distancing, a refusal to acknowledge, nasty words, gossip, and sometimes an all out brawl. Sometimes it's over important differences that need to be discussed, thought through, and resolved. Other times it's over something of little importance. It still needs to be resolved, but the outcome probably won't be something to wreck your friendship over.

Think about your closest relationships, those with your parents, your siblings, your best friends, and possibly a boyfriend or girlfriend. What's the last disagreement you had? If you can't think of a disagreement or are going to say "We don't disagree..." you might be a peacekeeper and while it might be a fortuitous job in The Hunger Games, it isn't a great thing outside the Districts. The difference between a peacekeeper and a peacemaker is simple.

Peacekeeper = peace at all costs. They will shut up, sit down, walk away, stew over it, and stuff it down all for the sake of not causing a problem. This is more than just thick skin--this is dangerous.

Peacemaker = A peacemaker sets ease aside and instead moves to reconcile and resolve differences.

I'm a pretty easy going person. It takes a lot to really make me angry or to offend me so I let a lot just roll off my shoulders, but there's one thing I've learned. If I can't just "brush it off" and forget about it, if it keeps me up at night or even if I find myself thinking about it throughout the day, I need to deal with it.

So here are my quick and to the point tips for dealing with conflict:

1. Pray about it. God knows and sees both sides of the story. He knows your motives and the other person's motives. Ask Him for wisdom and he'll give it to you. (James 1:5) I'm confident He'll help you decide whether you need to brush this off or if you really need to confront it.

2. Go to the person directly and privately, IN PERSON. This is not a time for Facebook, Twitter, E-mail, or text messages. No. You walk your rear end to the other person and talk to them face-to-face, preferably not in front of your entire class. Besides being completely impersonal, technology, with its lack of tone, inflection and other markers of emotion can actually make matters worse. Don't cop out. Be a man (or woman) and do it in person.

3. Agree to disagree. If you can't come to a conclusion about whether Star Trek or Star Wars is the best EVER (uh, Star Wars, duh, I mean what is there to disagree about?) you can have a little wrestling match (if you're boys) or you can say a little "Whatever *insert rolling eyes* and walk away friends. Your friendship shouldn't end over that.

4. Fuggedaboudit. That's right. Forget it. Walk away. Don't tweet about it, facebook about it (yes, even in cryptic little messages that only you will understand), or blog about it. Just forget about it.

Any other tips you can think of?

When's the last time you had a conflict?

How did you settle it?

Conflict

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Thu, 03 May 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Think of your best friend, someone you have been friends with for a long time. Why are they your best friend? Why has your friendship lasted so long?

How many stupid things have you done with them as your sidekick? What is your greatest memory together?

Now think of how often you have the two of you have had an argument, had a fight, or gotten mad at one another. If you answered that you have never fought or argued then that person most likely is not a best friend. For any relationship to go deep and be a truly close friend, conflict has to happen.

Conflict in and of itself is not bad. Actually, it’s good. We all avoid conflict because it is uncomfortable and it makes things a little awkward at times. Sure, it’s not always pleasant. Conflict, if not taken care of, can destroy friendships and relationships. Conflict forces you to examine yourself and others; it also grows people up.

From a guy’s standpoint, conflict typically means someone needs to get punched and then hurt feelings are over and we are back to being friends. Girls, well that’s a whole different story.

If you don’t deal with people and you keep dodging conflict in your friendships, then the result is a lost friendship. You lose out on so much because conflict strengthens relationships and friendships. I’ll say it again, if you don’t have arguments with your best friends I would question whether you really know them.

I’m not saying you need to seek conflict. I’m just saying that when it comes, and it will, don’t be afraid to meet it head on. The quicker you learn this the faster your friendships will deepen and allow you to truly trust those people you call friends.

Fixer

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 05:30:00 +0000

photo courtesy of Chris Yarzab

I’m a fixer. Like most men, I’m wired that way. You tell me your problems and before you’ve gotten to the second sentence, I’m figuring out a solution.

When I hear that my friends are struggling, suffering—that their world has been turned upside down, I immediately start to think about how I can fix that situation. As I get to know each of my teens at youth group I learn about their struggles, fears, home situations, and hardships and I want nothing more than to.fix.it.now.

I have had to learn that I can’t fix people. I can’t fix people’s problems and it sucks. It especially hurts when you are close to people who are facing hardships and you can’t fix it or take away the hurt.

So what am I supposed to do if I can’t fix it?

I have had to learn to trust. Trust Jesus to fix the problems.

I have had to learn how to walk alongside people during their suffering.

All that said, while I’m not able to fix the situation I am not rendered powerless.

I may not be able to fix the problem, but I can affect the problem.

During college I looked up to this awesome man named Dr. B. He was a man who answered some of my toughest questions with the simplest of answers. He was real and he didn’t candy-coat his answers. One of things he taught me when I was in his class was about prayer, our trump card in life.

He taught me about the simple fact that I am responsible for my actions and my attitude in all of life’s situations that that is all. Period. My response to life is where my control ends.

So what can I do when my friends struggle? I pray.

When Dr. B prayed it wasn’t your stereotypical prayer. Instead, he taught us what he called, affirmation prayer. Affirmation prayer is when you take scripture and you pray that back to God reminding God of His promises.

It’s not that God has forgotten His promises, don’t worry, he hasn’t. It’s more that we begin to understand God’s heart for our friends and people we care about. We start to see them from His perspective and understand that He is taking care of them. It’s like He is pointing our gaze directly at how He is caring for them as He promised He would by showing us His word.

It brings me immense comfort and joy knowing that as I pray for my family, my friends, and my teens that God is reminding me how He is already taking care of them. When I pray Psalm 34 over my friends who are broken-hearted He reminds me He is close to them. When I pray James 1 over those facing trials, He is reminding me that He is refining those going through trials and that they serve His greater purpose.

God has called me to walk alongside people and so I do. Sometimes it’s through doing what I can to help and more often it’s through pulling out that trump card and praying for them.

Have you ever prayed scripture?

What are some of your favorite scriptures to pray?

He Already Answered That Prayer

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 05:00:00 +0000

photo courtesy of nimble photography

Dear God, I just ask that you would be extra close during this time. Please help them get through this situation. Turn this really bad thing into something good. Use it for your glory.

Do you ever find yourself praying like that for one of your friends who is going through a rough time? I do. Quite often in fact. Most of the time I'm praying for what I think I might need in such a situation, but when I really look at that prayer I'm kind of praying stupid.

I'm sure that on some level there is no such thing as a stupid prayer just like there is no such thing as a stupid question, but it occurred to me that sometimes God might be asking for a bit more, thought when it comes to my prayers. Especially those prayed on behalf of someone else. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not judging prayers, I just think that especially in my own life, my prayers can reflect how I really think about God.

Let's break that prayer down a bit. If I'm praying for a friend that believes in Jesus, then I'm asking Him for something He's already promised. When God promises something, it's as good as done. Period. End of story.

Psalm 34:18 is one of my favorite verses. It says,

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

He's already close to my friend. It's a done deal. They are broken-hearted. He's extra close. Just like that. There's no need to ask for an extra dose of closeness, because it's already there.

The next part about using it for His glory and making it into something good? Again, He's already promised to do that. Romans 8:28 speaks directly to that.

And we know that all things work together for good, for them that love God, for them that are the called according to His purpose.

Obviously it's not wrong to pray this way, I just want to encourage you to pray more specifically. Don't just pray something because it sounds good or because you've heard somebody else pray that before. Make it personal. The issue isn't in whether or not this will happen, the issue is in whether or not WE believe that God will live up to His promises. Let's pray like we know He will follow through because the truth is, He will.

Dear God, I can't believe what happened to _________. This totally blows my mind and I have no clue how you are going to turn it into good, but You promise that You will. Help me to believe that. Help them to believe that. You promise to be close to them; help them feel that. Thank you. In Jesus' name, amen.

Who's someone you could pray for right now? Take a minute and do just that.

What To Do

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 03:05:00 +0000

photo courtesy of vtsr

Sometimes life hurts. We all know this to be true and it is shown in our lives in different ways. Maybe we spend our weeks at one parent's house and the weekends at another? Maybe a tragedy has occurred that has completely and utterly upset our way of life? Perhaps nothing is like we thought it was going to be.
When we are hurting or even more, when those around us are hurting it can be somewhat of a struggle to figure out what to do. We want to mobilize. We want action. We want to feel like we are making a difference. At the risk of sounding cliche, may I say that we are called first and foremost to prayer? I know, I know, prayer doesn't seem to do anything.

That is a lie.
In fact, if Satan can dupe us into thinking that prayer is ineffective or unnecessary then he has already won the most critical part of the battle. You see, Ephesians 6:12 talks about what we are really fighting when we pray. It says,

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places]."

Every bad thing that happens to us is not necessarily an attack from Satan, but when we are hurt, when we are down and out, when we are alone we are a prime target for even more attacks--we are more susceptible to Satan's lies. That's why it's important to rally. To rally around those who are wounded, those who are weak, those who are being attacked and pray. Pray with everything in our being on their behalf because believe me, it's the most powerful thing you can do.

If we are hurting or someone with whom we are close is hurting we have two choices--worry or prayer. That's it. You are doing one or the other. I'm not belittling these struggles either. They are "worry-worthy" for sure. Cancer is worrisome. Death is grievous. Watching our friends make bad choices is saddening. These situations are both real and troublesome, but the important thing is how you react to them. Check out what Philippians 4:6 says,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

It's pretty clear...don't worry. Don't be anxious. Give thanks through prayer and then ask. Ask God. Make your requests known.

Has there been a situation in your life where you knew that you needed prayer?

Is there something we could pray for you about?

of wine, blood, and betrayal

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 05:30:00 +0000

photo courtesy of jronaldlee
We'd filed into the house, arriving in small groups dirty from the days' walking. He was already there, reclining near the table. Waiting. The peaceful expression that normally graced His face was different, but I couldn't put a finger on it. We sat and waited for the rest of our group to enter. I say group, but the word family would better explain what we had come to be. Men with whom I would have never associated now gathered in the same room, brought together by our common denominator; Him.

He spoke and every fiber of my being focused in on Him, listening, but not really understanding. He welcomed us as usual, but then started talking of weddings. I didn't really understand because, let's face it, none of us are getting married anytime soon. Then He took the bread and he broke it and talked about it representing His body. I nudged Peter with my elbow. He turned, annoyed that I would interrupt His focused gaze on the Master. I waggled my eyebrows at him and hoped he would understand that I wasn't sure what Jesus was talking about, but then again, this is Peter. If he didn't understand would he admit it?

I settled back onto the pillow and continued to listen. My stomach twists as He speaks of betrayal, of death, and my heart wrenches as He says He must leave and we cannot follow. Cannot follow? What does He mean? I left everything to follow Him almost three years ago and I have never once looked back. How can He mean I can no longer follow....

More imagery. Wine, blood, and more betrayal. Judas must be as fed up as I am because he quickly pushes back from the table and stalks out of the room. As I watch Judas disappear out the door His voice draws me back,

"This is my blood of the covenant which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins..."

the scary thing

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 01:42:00 +0000

photo courtesy of thanker212

2 Corinthians 4:16a - Therefore we do not lose heart.

Hope is a scary thing.

To be perfectly honest, I would rather be told that there is absolutely no hope than to be a position where there is even the slightest inkling of hope. It's easier to give up, more simple to walk away, kinder on the heart and the soul to wash your hands of a situation.

To hope is to risk pain.

Think about a situation in your life where you are asked to hope; to cling to the sincere hope that things will get better, that they will improve, that a circumstance will turn itself around and turn out better than the bleakest prediction...

...maybe it's a family member or friend with cancer or an injury?

...perhaps your parents marriage is falling apart?

...possibly it's a diagnosis that you wish wasn't real?

...it might be a situation you wish you could change...

All of the above situations are huge. They are life-changing situations and I don't want to detract from their brevity, however I must say that we all, at one point or another, Christian or non-Christian will be confronted with one or more of these situations. I wish I could tell you that following Christ means that you won't have to confront these issues, but I must say that you will; I did and there are many more, but the difference between me and the rest of the world is that I choose to hope and today, you have to choose to hope as well.

There's only one place to find the kind of hope that can override the world's indifference and it's apathy and that's in Jesus Christ. You see, without Him we were hopeless. From the moment we entered the world, squalling and screeching the countdown began to our death and there was nothing we could do to change it. The worst part was that our physical death wasn't the end...our physical death would mean our spiritual death as well. We hurtled full speed ahead from the moment of our birth to our physical death with no answer for our separation from God.

Until Jesus. God sent this fully man, fully God being into our world for one purpose--to die. He would take all our sin, past-present-future and carry it with him to the cross, die a gruesome death, be buried for three days and rise again, all so we could have hope.

An answer to our separation from Him.
Hope so we wouldn't be alone. Hope to know that He is with us. He is mighty. We are His.

--Kristina

Stronger Than Fear

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 09:00:00 +0000

photo courtesy of Nomadic Lass

Recently, I stood in line with a bunch of other Americans to watch the opening showing of The Hunger Games. One particular line in the movie stood out to me. During a discussion in President Snow's rose garden, President Snow asks Seneca Crane, the head gamemaker a simple question, "What emotion is stronger than fear?" After waiting a moment, President Snow answers his own question, hope.

Fear is a very powerful emotion and many of us live our whole lives in fear.

We fear that our past mistakes will not allow us to move forward.

We fear that we will not be good enough for God.

We fear that when life presses in that we will never be able to overcome the tough times.

We fear, but Jesus has said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33b)

God knows us. In Psalm 139 King David writes about how well God knows us and how valuable we are to Him. Like I mentioned above, Jesus even said we would face trials in this life, but because of what He did at Easter, dying on a cross and rising from the dead three days later, we have hope that when life presses in, and when things get tough, we have a God who knows exactly what we are going through and has provided a way to get through even life’s toughest moments. Will you allow Him to get you through it and look to Him for your hope? God sent His only son, Jesus Christ to come as a human to this earth to die on a cross for all of our sin. And when Jesus rose after that death He offered all of humanity a hope for something better than what this world has to offer.

Psalm 34:18 says that God is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. When you are most in need of hope is when God is close to you.

How then do you receive this Hope? You have to call out to Jesus and surrender your life to Him. He promises that when you do that life’s problems don’t just disappear, but that He is now in control and will walk you through the issues and problems you face. He promises that if you trust Him and give your life to Him life begins to make sense and you become sons or daughters of God. And as a son or daughter of God means that you have the God of the entire universe watching out for you. Will you reach out and surrender your life to God?

--Nick

Target

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 13:00:00 +0000

photograph courtesy of Rob Ellis'
We were never meant to handle life alone. Ever. Even back in the garden, Adam and Eve were created to be with God and be able to fully communicate with Him. We know how the story goes, though, they sin, get kicked out of the garden and we are separated from God. We were never created to experience the despair of being separated from God--that's why the inky darkness of despair is so unforgiving, the depths of depression so deep, and the very pride that caused us to hide when God asked, "Where are you?" in the garden is the pride that makes us think "No one will understand my pain" and "I have to handle this alone."

Is your pain different than mine? Absolutely. Can I ever fully understand your pain? Probably not, but I can sit with you while you work through that pain. We can deal with that pain together.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

I once heard someone say that a lone person is a target and I've come to believe that wholeheartedly. The devil tries to get you alone and then he strikes and when he strikes, he brings you down like a hunting lion--viciously, without respect of place, position, or money. He seeks to destroy, to decimate, to raze until only embers are left.

Recently, we've seen this happen in our community and some of the communities that surround us. We've seen despair win the battle, depression triumph, and the unthinkable has occurred. Our hearts ache because not only have life been snuffed out by its own hand, but we stand wondering what we could have done?

Read the verses. There is so much more than just depressed kids behind these events. Wake up. Don't dull your mind or space out. Be alert. Be vigilant. Take notice of what's happening around you. Pray. Pray. Pray. Because we wrestle against spiritual wickedness in high places. The suicides, despair, depression, and hopelessness are just symptoms of the bigger problems.

I'm not trying to undervalue the presence of depression. At times the pressing, solitary feeling of extreme hopelessness can rule our thoughts and I'm just asking that you reach out. If you feel alone, ask for help. You wonder why having at least one person with you is so important? Because people don't commit suicide with a friend standing next to them.

That's why we're here. For you. Reach out. Don't make yourself an easy target.

unknown to me

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 01:07:00 +0000

photo courtesy of SusanG2

Over the past few months we've have had to deal with one of the hardest things with which anybody has to deal--death. Death is something we all know about but its something that to us is out of the ordinary; it's a rude interruption to our life as we who survive a lost friend or loved one are left picking up the pieces. And so for this post, I am posting and quoting from a band I highly admire and look up to. The David Crowder Band wrote this many years and it really spoke to me about recent events.

Recently, for reasons unknown to me, friends and family members in our community have felt that the way to deal with their struggles and problems is to take their life and commit suicide; to end all their troubles. Jesus, however, offers a different option, a hope, a bright light in the midst of our darkest hour:

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”- John 16:33

"No, for you and I life is unavoidable. And not just the mud on a shirt or a missed television show. I mean the moments that life really presses in. The moment the weight becomes crushingly unbearable by certainly any other. When tragedy intrudes and we are robbed of any logical proofs that God is good. When the book of Job suddenly seems our unauthorized biography.

This book is not concerned so much with the why of life’s eruptions but the faith of a man throughout them. A godly man in possession of a faith that all of his afflictions could not shake. To find a man and eavesdrop long enough to hear him in intimate honesty ask “though You slay me, yet will I trust You?Job (13:15) and to see his story answer in a resounding “yes that can still be clearly and effectually heard today. And to see God show up in all of His majestic glory that pen and paper can express. Chapter 38.

Everything that we thought was troublesome or painful or disappointing or hard or wearisome or frustrating or maddening is swept away. We become aware of His constant presence, and full of awe we, along with our concerns, are resized. We are swept away in this wonderful, beautifully glorious storm of who He is. He speaks out of the silence and it’s so terrifyingly plain that we have been right all along. He is in control. Beyond even our wildest imaginings.

-David Crowder-

--Nick

hardest things

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:53:00 +0000

photo courtesy of eklektik2x
"...having words in your heart that you can't utter."-James Earl Jones Our culture grieves rarely. We save up our grief, disappointment, anguish and sadness for when someone dies when suddenly all our pent up emotions come spilling out. Truthfully, grief is not just saved for the death of a loved one. One can grieve any time circumstances cease being what they used to. For example, if your parents get divorced, you can grieve. If your dog dies, you can grieve. When your friend or someone you knew commits suicide, you can grieve. Not all these things are on the same level of loss and obviously the grief is going to be different for each of us, but we are allowed to grieve. Our culture tells us to 'get over it', but I'm telling you that you can grieve and cry and get angry and that it is permissible to do that. The only thing we have to be careful of is not to harm someone else in our grief.
I'm sure you've heard of the seven stages of grief--shock & denial, pain & guilt, anger & bargaining, depression, reflection & loneliness, the upward turn, reconstruction and working through, acceptance and hope. There is this myth that you can work through the stages and at some point put them behind you. I like that theory because it's like a homework assignment, I can work through it at my own pace, cross it off and never have to look at it again, right? Wrong.
These stages all run together. One day I might feel as if I'm over the shock of the situation and I'm working through what my life looks like on this side of grief when like a Mack truck, the anger hits me all over again and I want to deck something. (I said WANT to deck something, notice I didn't say I hit anything.) Normally when that happens I try to go for a run or find some other way to work out the negative energy other than yelling or hitting things, because that kind of behavior is frowned upon. It's okay to be angry. And here's another thing, tell God you're angry too. He already knows it.
John 11:35 says that "Jesus wept." It's the shortest verse in the Bible, but it tells me that Jesus wasn't some stoic, grin and bear it, kind of guy. No, he felt grief. He felt emotion to the deepest part of his being. He was crying because one of his best friends, Lazarus had died. He sobbed bitterly even though He knew that five minutes later he would raise Lazarus from the dead.
Jesus doesn't tell us to hide our emotion. Instead he tells us to bring it to Him. Tell it to Him. He knows what the deep, dark, hurt feels like. Jesus gives us a place to utter those words that we feel have to stay locked in our hearts. --Kristina

grief

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 16:11:00 +0000

photo courtesy of Dyanna

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley….”

Psalm 23 is a psalm of comfort in the Bible. It reminds us that God is never far from us. Even when we go through the worst situation He is there for us and with us. We need only to cry out to Him.

It was August of 2004 and my family was vacationing at the beach in Virginia. We got a call from our Aunt in Arkansas that my grandpa had been admitted to the hospital. My grandma had been battling breast cancer over the past two years and to hear that one of my grandparents was in the hospital wasn’t new news. As I laid on the couch watching cartoons my mom and sister were talking when suddenly, my sister began to cry. I got angry and practically screamed at my sister, “He is going to be fine! We don’t know anything yet and it’s not that bad.” As I finished my sentence my mom glared at me and with the simple statement of, “He’s dead,” my world shattered.

Grief. Anguish. Loss. Emotions pull you in so many ways that you hardly know what to do, what to say, or who to talk to. I called my youth pastor immediately and briefly told him that my grandpa had died and we were cutting vacation short.

Memories. The whole drive home all I could think of was of our last visit with him and the fun we had had together. I thought about how he would cook us breakfast every morning when we visited; traveling to his wood shop to make toys for the children’s hospital, late evening fishing in his pond, and simply making that famous cheese dip alongside him in the kitchen. I don’t think I have ever cried that much before or since. I became numb as it sank in that I would never see him again, never work alongside him, and never again would we cook our famous cheese dip.

Psalm 34:17-18 states: “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of their troubles. The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

If you cry out to God, He does hear you. He will save you, if you let Him. Grief is a hard thing to deal with. It takes time. With grief you allow yourself some days to cry and dwell on the memories, then you move forward, slowly. You don’t allow yourself to dwell solely on the memories. You honor the person’s memory but you move forward with your life. You cannot change the past, but you can change and affect the future.

Grief is a process. First you cry and remember then you may become angry. That’s ok, it’s a way of coming to terms with the loss, and going on with your life remembering the person at times, but not dwelling on them all the time. Don’t try to, “fix it,” but let God heal you. The burden is so much lighter when you let God carry it and you will find immense peace letting God take over.

--Nick

will

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 13:56:00 +0000

photo courtesy of Moyan_Brenn

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Have you ever been asked that question?

In a similar sense, what is God’s will for you?

That’s as simple as answering the first question.

God placed in us unique passions to pursue. The question that you need to ask yourself is, "Is my passion is honoring to God?"

So many people graduate from high school and go to college merely because everyone else is going to college. College is not for everyone. Some of us love working with our hands and we have no desire to go to college and that’s OK! Go pursue a trade of some sort. Working on cars, in factories, in the military, or even union work are just a few of the many options available. The question isn’t so much what does God will for me, but what skills and gifts has God given me and am I pursuing those things?

Why were Adam and Eve created? God created them in His image and they were charged with taking care of the garden in which he placed them. Their only main instructions were not to eat from one tree in the garden. If they ate from all the other trees and took care of the garden then they would have a perfect relationship with God. In essence they were created to worship God and get to know Him. This is also God’s will for us, that we would come to know Him and worship Him.

We humans make life way too complicated. We have lots of drama, heartache, and many other trials. That’s not how it was intended.

God’s original will was and still is for us to know Him and worship Him. When you understand this, the rest of life becomes easier. You still struggle, but you now know why you are here on earth and you know what you are supposed to do. God's will for your life is simply to worship Him in all you say and do. He put specific passions in you to pursue and he wants you to honor Him by using your gifts and skills.

--Nick

press

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 16:54:00 +0000

The age old question that many of us face in our life is what if? What if I had chosen a different career? What if I chose a different college? What if I had dated her? What if…

What if you stopped asking that stupid question?

You already made whatever decision it is you are second guessing and it won't do you any good to think about something that isn’t going to change your past.

You can however, change your future.

This is line of thought that drives people crazy always second guessing themselves when really you don’t have to.

What is God’s will for your life and how do you know you are in it? You never left it.

If God is all powerful, all knowing then you are never out of His will. It’s a matter of if you will go kicking and screaming through life second guessing everything or let go and let God.

If you look in the first chapter of Job it touches on the kingship of God. When Satan goes before God, it is God that points out Job and his faith. When Satan attacks that, God gives Satan His permission to do his deeds against Job and in doing so signifies God’s kingship. Likewise in life when we struggle or when we doubt it's not God up in heaven pointing and laughing at us, it’s a very simple question He is asking you and I--"Will you trust Me?" And when you say yes, God shows up and takes care of the struggles and worry. It's up to you to decide whether or not you will let him show up.

In life you want to look for, “green lights,” or, “open doors.” You don’t limit God but you allow Him to cover your back.

What are you passionate about?

In life I had to choose my profession; teaching. I graduated with history education degree to teach teens in grades 7-12. I looked for and pursed teaching jobs and had over four interviews with schools before I graduated.

What am I doing now? I am a youth director for teens grades 7-12. Not exactly what I expected, but God opened the door to youth ministry and closed the doors into teaching. Instead of getting angry and only pursuing teaching I took advantage of several opportunities to do youth ministry. I saw an open door and walked through. Instead of God closing the door He opened up this door to allow me to be full time in youth ministry. Likewise wherever you are God has specifically placed you in that position.

Now it’s a matter of trust. Will you trust Him? Will you pursue your passions? What happens if God shuts a door? I'd say look for the open doors because an open door is an opportunity to trust Him.

--Nick

Do you remember back in Eden? Eve was sitting there and the serpent asked her a very pointed question, "Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden'?" (Genesis 3:1) Let me rephrase, "What if God didn't actually say that?" All of this sin started with doubting whether or not God actually said something. Can you see the danger of the "what if" perspective?

It's so easy to let ourselves travel down a path of what if, and yet God doesn't call us to that. Instead, God calls us to the "what now" perspective. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." The "what if" has passed away. It's as good as dead. The "what are we going to do now" is what we're all about.

Every day you wake up, draw breath and have a choice to between living in the "what ifs" and living in the "right now."

My own illustration of doors is somewhat recent as well. Last year I started praying about how God wanted me to get involved in church. Basically this looked like a prayer along the lines of "God, please show me where you want me to volunteer at church." That's it. During my time with God, in my journal where I pray and when it came to mind I would ask God. There were no fancy words just a simple question.

I've always been interested in youth ministry. Frankly, I'm not that far out of high school (okay, humor me) and I am a great example of how one or two stupid decisions can change the course of your life. Forever. I also have a passion for helping others love Jesus in a not-just-Sunday-morning sort of way. I chatted with Nick about youth group and helped out at the Soul Surfer event. That would be an example of "pushing on doors". From there I kept praying and made plans to visit the youth group, which I did and it became completely evident that I would not be able to be a youth leader. I knew it wasn't the right fit for my schedule and for my skill set. To be quite honest I didn't feel at peace about it. It was as if I was a ball of nerves inside and making the commitment to be at youth group was going to feel forced. I kept praying, though. I kept talking to God about where he wanted me to plug in at church. It was then that Nick approached me about Sunday school. It was better than doing youth group. Not only did it fit my family's schedule, it is perfect for my skill set. I was pushing on doors and some, like doing youth group stayed closed. Others, though, like teaching on Sunday mornings opened up.

Take college for example--you apply to four different colleges and are praying about which one to go to. Naturally you have them ranked in your head, the one you most want to attend and the last is the one you feel only so-so about. One day you see a white envelope with the school's crest on it. With it clasped between your hands you run inside the house shaking with excitement and then you pause. This is it. This letter is going to tell you whether or not you get to go to your number one pick. You press your fingers under the seal and tear open the top. Unfolding the heavy paper, you begin to read and your face falls. Excitement drains from your body. You didn't get in. When you apply to college you are pressing on doors. When you don't get in, that's an easy sign of a closed door.

Now what happens when you get accepted to all of them?

I hope that's your dilemma and all I can say is keep talking to God. He promises He will show you.

--Kristina

DTR

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 12:29:00 +0000

D. T. R.

Here is my warning. I am writing this post strictly as if my audience is a male. So keep that in mind as you read. My initials are N.O.D. or Nicholas Owen Dunn. So what is D.T.R.?

Having genuine friendships with the opposite gender is a healthy and necessary part of life. Relationships like that allow us to interact with girls and there is also the added benefit that your close female friends can give you advice about the ever-dangerous and elusive ways of the female mind. Your female friends can also be a great judge of character and can offer advice on what type of girls would be good for you since they know you well. And guys, we tend to get blinders on when we are dating a girl that we are very attracted to and having some female friends allows us to date wisely.

So what is a D.T.R.?

It’s the official name for defining the relationship--that time when you’ve become close friends with a girl and you’re feelings are crossing the line from friendship into something more. At this point you’ll have been best friends with her for a while and you’re completely comfortable around her. By completely comfortable I mean you can break wind, laugh about it and she is not completely grossed out. During this time you each may have dated someone else and neither relationship has worked out, but throughout that time you have remained friends and the feelings between you start looking more like a dating relationship than a friendship.

Once you have initiated this D.T.R you may remain friends, but it might it could have varying outcomes. Your relationship could become awkward, you could lose the friendship entirely, or you could find your girlfriend and possibly your wife. (I strongly believe when you date, you are not doing it just to have a girlfriend, but you are telling that girl that you could see yourself marrying her.)

The D.T.R. is not always a death sentence to the friendship, but sometimes it’s needed in order to clarify for both sides, “What exactly are we?” It allows for the relationship to grow into a either a stronger friendship or a strong dating relationship.

This is not something you need to do with every female friend and before you do this, you need to think about the effects a meeting like this will have on your relationship. That being said, as men, we are responsible not to lead girls on and if that is the case then it is your responsibility to clarify that you are only friends. Likewise, girls also have that same responsibility to communicate to their guy friends a clear way that they are only friends or that they are interested in something more.

Dating does not mean you are solely committed to one person, it means you are finding out through one-on-one dates if that person is worth committing to. After a couple dates you should know the answer and will need to clarify that between the two of you.

If you are friends and you start going out on dates you may need to have that D.T.R. to clarify what exactly you are, because after a date or two with a friend you one of you might start having feelings that aren’t reciprocated and as a man it is our responsibility to clearly take the lead and have this conversation if needed.

--Nick

Ladies (and guys who are inevitably reading this to get a sneak peek into the female mind), we’re a bit crazy, okay? A guy holds the door open for us and all of the sudden we are checking him out to see if he is dateable. A male asks us to lunch and by the time he has turned the bag of chips upside down to make sure he doesn’t miss a crumb of his Fritos we are imagining his last name after ours and writing our love story. Like I said, crazy.

We live in a culture where dating relationships are more commonly seen as a way to just have fun instead of a way to find a life-long friend, companion, and spouse. When a guy is kind or chivalrous (aka opening a door, paying for a meal, etc.) we automatically mistake it for romantic interest and I think at times that has contributed to the downfall of chivalry. What guy wants to open a door for us when the next thing he knows we are stalking his facebook page, commenting on every post, and gushing about his oh so amazing joke he made yesterday. Believe me, he is running in the opposite direction!

Here’s a new concept. Cut your brothers in Christ some slack and just let them be men. Let them treat you with respect and if they are interested in you as more than a friend I promise you, they will be knocking on your door. That’s just the way boys are.

Another point, the best marriages are built on friendships. I’m sure you’ve fought with your best friend. Not just a “you sat in my seat” fight, but a full on “I’m giving you your charm bracelet back” or “I’m blocking you on Facebook and reporting you for spamming just to spite you” kind of disagreement. I’m sure you didn’t like each other in that moment, but in a day or two, when the emotions stopped raging, you forgave each other and reinstated your friendship both on Facebook and in real life. Your friendship is what got you through that rough patch and believe me, someday marriage is going to be like that. There will be days that you literally cannot stand the sight of your spouse or you will be angry at them because they forgot to flush the toilet AGAIN and you’re trying to puke into it and it can’t flush fast enough. (Shake your head now, but believe me, it will happen.) In those times, it will be your FRIENDSHIP that carries you through. That’s just one of the many reasons it is so important to cultivate strong friendships prior to dating.

Lastly, the DTR can be devastating to a friendship, especially when feelings aren’t reciprocated, but don’t let that deter you from developing strong friendships with guys. Many times those guys are the ones that will take on a role of a buffer between you and other males who want to date you. They almost act as a protector and will make sure a guy is “good enough” to be dating you. Their input can be invaluable and just FYI, if a guy tells you to “watch out” for another guy, take their word. They normally know what they are talking about.

--Kristina

If your relationship looks like this clip you might be in need of a DTR.

friends....and then what?

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 07:00:00 +0000

source

We touched last week on the three different types of love and the differences between them. What we didn’t touch on was where do friendships fit in these different types of love? We all have friends that are of the opposite sex, but what then does healthy friendships between the two look like?

Think about it, typically if you are a guy your closest friends are guys and if you are a girl your closest friends are girls. I know some of you may disagree and say some of your closest friends are actually guys if you are a girl and vice versa.

That’s actually both normal and healthy, especially during middle school, high school, and college. In each of these areas many times we are still discovering who we are and what defines us. A healthy peer group helps us discover who we “gel” with and with whom we may butt heads.

Healthy friendships fit into the agape and philo love areas. We are called to treat everyone with a degree of respect--that agapelove. That doesn’t always mean we become best friends with everybody, just that we extend a mutual respect to them. They are acquaintances.

We all tend to gravitate towards people with similar interests and likes and so as we hang out with similar people typically its mixed company. As you hang out with your group of friends many times there are disagreements and conflicts thrown in the mix. This is good for friendships because with it you learn to trust each other and work through different situations. You also learn that when times get rough you know who you can go to.

Ultimately the key to friendships is expectations.

Do you expect something from your friends when you do something for them? Are your expectations unreal? The key to lasting strong friendships is presence--being there for them and helping them out in times of need. When there is a healthy give and take and not doing things because you are expecting something in return, the friendship grows stronger.

But what happens when your friendship with the opposite gender begins to go towards dating?

--Nick

An entire blog could be dedicated to the topic of friendships. We could call it “Don’t Date Your Friends” or “Dating Ruins A Perfectly Good Friendship” or even “Marry Your Best Friend”. However, since I only have a few words to share with you today, we’ll keep it in the easy reading format of a list. Here goes…

A few steps towards a healthy friendship that if it is with the opposite gender may or may not lead into a dating relationship are as follows:

1.) Be yourself – even if that means you are a complete geek, be yourself. Even Ned in 17 Again found his Elvish speaking principal. If you find that you need to act different or change who you are in order to be around another person, then I would sincerely encourage you to re-evaluate the relationship. I had a friend in high school that was always critiquing me—what I wore, how I dressed, what I said. Yeah, we’re not friends anymore.

2.) Encourage each other to follow God and pursue life – high school and college are ripe with opportunity. You are young and passionate about exploring life (we’ll talk more about passion later) and the chance to explore the world is almost too much to turn down. If you have a friend, whether a girl or a guy who is holding you back by saying things like, “Don’t go, I just can’t stand to be away from you,” and they actually expect you not to go on let’s say a mission trip or a semester abroad then you may want to distance yourself. Yes, you will be missed, but is it a once in a lifetime opportunity? Then go. Get out of Dodge or Cortland.

3.) Don’t sleep together. Maybe this is obvious, but seriously, it needs to be said. First of all, if you’re not married, it’s wrong. Secondly, want to ruin a great relationship? Then go for it. Sleep together before marriage. If you are friends enough to have benefits, then you are friends enough to get married. For life. True story.

4.) Pour into each other. Friendships are not about you. They are about the other person. Friendships are this awesome place where we get to challenge each other and encourage one another and help each other become better people.

So there you have it. Just four of many points relating to friendships and relationships….but what happens next? What happens when you meet that person; you know, that person that you can be your dorky, Elvish self around. The person that makes you want to love God better? What do you do if they feel the same way about you and even scarier, what if they don’t? All that and more, next week.

--Kristina

"I Love You." and then the Break Up

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:52:00 +0000

So what exactly is love?

Last week touched on these three different types of love, but when it comes down to it what is love?

Is it a choice or is it a feeling?

Love, as defined in 1 Corinthians 13, is patient, it is kind, it is without envy, it forgives wrongdoing, and it never fails.

Many of us tell our parents that we love them and we jokingly use it with other people, but when it comes down to the heart of the matter do we really understand what we are saying when we tell someone, I love you?

What if we said now that Love is both a choice and a feeling?

It’s a choice in that what you do shows someone that you love them. When my dad tells my mom that he loves her he doesn’t just say it, he backs it by showing her through the little things he does for her--emptying the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen when she is at work, encouraging her when she is down, or taking her on a date. He doesn’t have to do those things but he chooses to do so.

Love is also a feeling. As you get to know a person more you feel very comfortable around them and you don’t have to put on a fake smile or a fake self. You can be real. You trust them and you feel good around them. The issue is that love is so much more than a feeling or a choice. It’s a healthy mix of both.

The best advice I got on love was from a mentor of mine who told me that when you love someone your heart and your head have to be in it. There are days when you are not going to, “feel in love,” but you know that you are. And there are days when you don’t, “know that you’re in love,” but emotionally you care. Love is a complicated thing and something that you have to work at continually.

To me love is like John 15 when Jesus says, “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love... This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this--that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

--Nick

The seemingly trite and obvious answer to the question “What is love” is God. God is love. (1 John 4:8) There, my post is over. Psych!

It’s easy to say that God is love, but when it comes right down to it, living out that truth is difficult at times. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that “love is a verb” and it really is. Jesus was an example of this by not only saying He loves us but by coming (that’s an action) to earth to die on the cross for our sins.

Love is sacrificial.

Whether you are talking about loving your friend, your sibling, your parent, your girlfriend or boyfriend, your spouse or one day, your own children, love is sacrificial. You can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving. Might I say that if you aren’t giving, whether it is of your time, your skills, or respect—you aren’t loving.

John 15:13 says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

While specifically referencing dying a physical death in place of another like Jesus did, this verse can also encourage us to lay aside our own will, desires, and plans for another. This is hugely evidenced in my life when my kids wake me up at 3 AM. Believe me, I don’t want to get out of bed, but their needs trump my own and in laying down my own desire (to stay asleep) I am loving them.

Love can get messy, though. Love is risky.

What happens when the person you love doesn’t love you back? What if they decide that they don’t love you anymore?

I’ve been there. To be honest, I’m walking that road this Valentine’s Day. It sucks. It isn’t fun. I could go run to a corner and bawl myself silly because I’m not receiving roses, but I’m not going to. You know why? Because God is love. I know, triteness abounds today, but really, take a moment and stick with me. Let that sink in.

Love originates with God.

He’s where it all starts.

Any love I have for anyone starts with God and His love for me and through me; conversely any love anyone has for me is just God’s love flowing through them. Since I’m still connected to God through Jesus, I’m still loved one hundred trillion percent. A person decided not to love…yes, it hurts like heck, but it doesn’t change my eternal, ultimate status. I remain as loved as I was when I was born and as loved as I will be when I die.

Whether a person declares to stop loving me, makes no difference. In some ways I am more concerned for the other party because if they can declare that love has stopped flowing through them, then that evidences a kink in their connection to God.

And that, my friends is why there will be no bawling on Tuesday. (plus, roses aren’t that great…technology and books are so much better J)

--Kristina

photo source

Cupid and His Three Arrows

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:00:00 +0000

It’s February, the month many males dread and females hope expectantly for roses.

If God had not made us relational beings then I feel very strongly the drama in life would be close to non-existent and we would achieve a civilization like that of the Vulcans from Star Trek, who have no real emotional attachments to anything but see only logical solutions. This relational aspect is how God made us unique--that’s what makes humans different than most other creatures here on earth.

We are relational beings who long to show our love towards others and in doing so we are imitate God’s love for people.

The question is what exactly is love? We will answer that specifically next week, but today we want to focus on the three types of love that exist--eros, phileo, and agape.

Eros is the easiest to remember and the one that is plastered just everywhere in our culture. Eros is simply erotic. God intended this kind of love to be shared strictly between one man and one woman. This love is expressed through sex. (Matthew 19:4-6) God intended sex to be part of marriage and is one action that helps hold a marriage together.

Phileo is the next form of love. This is your brotherly love. You like some people yet you may not like others. All of us have best friends or people we trust and would help out in a heartbeat. This is where we find phileo love comes into play. This usually doesn’t mean we would go and help just anybody, but we would help those particular persons for whom we have a fondness or who are our close friends.

Lastly we have agapelove. Agape is choosing to seek the best for anybody. This is what Christians are called to. We are called to agape-love everyone on this earth, “looking not only to our own interest but also to the interest of others.” (Philippians 2:4). We act in a respectful loving manner towards all people even when we do not get along with them or particularly like them. We are not called to always agree with all people, but we are called to be compassionate and respectful towards everyone in how we talk and interact with them.

Check out this link for a little more clarity: http://www.evangelical.us/love.html

--Nick

I love words and my kids. I love pizza as well as the iPhone. I love autumn and I love my friend Kristin. I love God and I love the beggar on the street. I love my dog. Okay, truthfully that last one might be a bit of a stretch, but you get the picture.

English is a difficult language to understand at times because I just used the same word to describe how I feel about pizza (which I would eat at every meal given the opportunity) and how I feel about my kids (who I would die for in an instant, consider me under the bus, off the cliff, into the burning house…). What!?! Greek on the other hand is much more demonstrative in its language. That’s why we have the three words above, eros, phileo, and agape, as Nick explained. They all mean love, but by just using that specific word, you immediately know how you love them. Here in America we have like and love. Think about it, you’ve seen these words before. As Nick said, there is erotic which stems from eros and let’s not forget the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia.

So what does this look like for reals?

First of all, our friend eros, if you aren’t married, you shouldn’t be practicing this. PERIOD.

Exclamation point.

I know, I’m a kill joy, a buzz kill, a no-fun adult. I don’t understand, but I do understand and when I was nineteen I didn’t listen to God’s command about eros.

The product?

She just turned six and she is in Kindergarten.

Sure, maybe you won’t get pregnant, maybe you won’t get an STD, but as long as you are not married, sex will never be as great as it could be because frankly, if it’s outside of marriage, God’s not blessing it. And life sucks when you don’t have God’s blessing.

Brotherly love.

Phileo.

This type of love is probably the easiest of the three. This is the love for the people you like. If you like someone, if you two are friends, you have similar interests and you know each other well, this is natural. For example, I know my friends love sweets. When I bake cookies or baklava or other yummy goodies, I take them to my friends because I (again, excuse the conjugations) phileothem. I don’t mind cooking them a meal because they are my friends and it’s what friends are for. I love them because I like them and we get along.

Agape is the most difficult, yet this is the path we are called to walk because this is the path Jesus walked. I was bullied in school growing up and I didn’t always agape love my meanies back. I still see these people grown up and sometimes harbor resentment towards them. They made my elementary and junior high years a living hell; so much so that I would try to get sent home from school almost every day just so I wouldn’t have to be there. These are the ones I am called to love. The person that makes you feel about three inches tall; the one that is rude to you, the person who has body odor and everyone else teases and you’ll be made fun of if you befriend them—Jesus says go to that one.

Who is your “that one” this week?

Which of these is most difficult for you?

picture source

How You Treat Your Mom

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 06:00:00 +0000

When I entered junior high and especially senior high girls were at the forefront of most of my thoughts. At some point I started noticing them and attempted interacting with the female population other than my mom or my sisters. However, I wasn’t the smoothest talker or the most attractive guy so I was rather awkward. I did things to try and impress the ladies that may have, more or less, discouraged their interaction with me.

I eventually grew out of my awkward stage in my junior and senior years of high school, but I learned a very important lesson during that awkward time--most of us learn how to act in a dating relationship by what we read and watch and fill our minds with. With so many of us coming from broken homes we lose some of life’s most important lessons. We begin to think that what is normal (a broken home) is actually the way things are supposed to be and the right way of doing things.

My parents aren't divorced and as a result I learned a lot from my dad on how I should interact with women. He has always treated my mom with the utmost respect and taught me a fairly valuable lesson by modeling how to interact with women for me day after day by how he respected my mom. He never yelled at my mom, though they did have their arguments. He never demeaned her or told her she was worthless. In fact he went out of his way to do things for her and always took her side in an argument with one of us kids. He showed me how to respect women.

Because of the way in which he treated my mom I have a respect for myself and take pride in who I am. If my parents demeaned each other in front of me that would make me feel pretty lousy because if they couldn’t stand be around each other what does that mean for me?

For all you ladies reading this, how a man treats his mother is the best indicator of how he will treat you. My counterpart on this blog may or may not agree with the next statement, but I'm going to write it anyways--the way in which a lady treats her father will tell you how she will treat you.

Just because you may come from a broken home does not mean you can not take pride in yourself and how you, yourself treat others. God tells us that we are not mistakes but that He created us and loves us immensely, which means he loves others that much too.

So men, how have you been treating your mom lately?

--Nick

Hey everyone, it’s the resident female counterpart writing now and I’m sure you’ve already gathered that we’re talking about respecting yourself and respect in relationships. First of all, the threshold of respect in a relationship is set by you. You get to control how much people respect you by the way you dress, the way you speak, and the way in which you carry yourself. It’s up to you. Don’t settle.

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock since birth you’ve probably figured out that girls’ bodies are a bit different than our male counterparts and the way you accentuate those features says a lot about you and how you value yourself. Put bluntly, cover up, ladies.

Can you remember the last time one of your friends wore a low-cut shirt? Remember how the guys all talked to her and not to you and then you got all “I’m so sad because no guys are talking to me.” Let me assure you, they weren’t talking to her because they thought she knew the answers to the homework or because they thought she was cool. They were talking to her because she was flaunting her stuff and they weren’t focused on her words. Oh no, they were focused on…her stuff. I’m not saying you have to wear a muu-muu, I’m just saying, keep in mind what you are showing and remember that it says something about how much you respect yourself.

Secondly, guys, here’s what I expect from you. Think about your sister. Yes, I know in your eyes she’s not really a girl, she’s your sister, but think about a guy looking at her the way you looked at that girl walking down the hall the other day. Think about what went on in your head going on in his head about your sister. Not cool, bro; not cool.

When we accept Christ we are all adopted as brothers and sisters into his family, so that girl, the one you like, yeah, she’s like your sister. Treat her as such!

Also, HANDS OFF! HANDS OFF! HANDS OFF! It’s like there is a big sign on each and every girl (and guy for that matter) that says “Property of ________ Do Not Touch,” except we just can’t read the name yet. You can bet there is a name there, but since you aren’t married yet, we can’t see it. So like I said, hands off.

Like Nick said, how a guy treats his mom is a huge indicator of how he will treat his wife and likewise how we ladies respect our dads can show how we may treat our husbands. Why is that? We are called to respect and obey our fathers (parents). Once you get married, ladies, God expects you to respect your husband. If you can’t respect your dad (even if he’s done things that make it hard) you will probably struggle respecting your husband. When you are dating look for a guy you can respect now. If you can’t respect his decisions or actions, then it’s time to re-evaluate.

Agree?

Disagree?

Either way, we want to hear what you have to say!

--Kristina

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who made you king?

noreply@blogger.com (seizinglifebythewristlet) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 06:30:00 +0000

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. Romans 13:1

Now if respect is how much we value someone then what about those in positions of authority in our lives? Every single one of us has had to deal with a teacher, principal, parents, or some other form of authority.

We need to realize that God has specifically placed us in the environment we find ourselves in. He has specifically allowed people to be in positions of authority over every one of us and He calls us to respect those in authority because their power comes from Him. Meaning, they ultimately will have to answer to Him for their actions. So how then are we to respond to our

teachers,

parents,

youth leaders,

police, etc.?

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ you are called to be subject to all those in authority, so long as they are not making or forcing you to do things that are against God. If we read Romans 12 completely we see that we are to strive to live at peace with those in authority so that they have nothing against us.

Ultimately we are responsible for our actions and accountable to God who is the maker and creator of all things. All authority is given by God but like the old saying goes "…with great power comes great responsibility…” and those in authority-parents, police, teachers etc., will be judged more severely than those not in authority. It is our duty then to act in a manner that would allow those in authority over us to fulfill their responsibility with ease and a desire to lead/teach us.

When you disrespect authority you are not only showing contempt/disrespect to authority but you are showing disrespect to the Creator of the universe- God.

So based on that fact, how much disrespect have you shown towards your teachers and parents lately?

We have all shown disrespect towards authority figures, the question is

what are you going to do now to change that?

--Nick

I had a huge issue with authority when I was in high school. I didn't defy them or badmouth them out rightly and I would never have been classified as a rebel; my disrespect was quieter, more like an undercurrent of dissent. I didn't like that certain people in authority would misuse and abuse their authority to be a bully. That fact always made me super angry. Even in a situation where I approved of the person in authority I still wasn't necessarily thrilled with them having authority over me. Can you say 'control issues'?

Yep.

Authority can be defined as "...a power or right; delegated or given...". I appreciate that definition because it reminds me that the real authority lies with God first. Any authority that any person here on this earth holds is only because it has first been delegated to them by God and with that authority comes immense responsibility. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) that dictates how I need to treat someone in authority whether or not I like them--I MUST respect them.

If I claim to love God, then I must submit to their authority because they are just an extension of God's authority over me. When I disrespect them, I disrespect God. Kind of puts it in perspective, huh?

In light of that what do I need to change?

Sure, I'm an adult. I set the curfew now, but I still have authority figures in my life. I still answer to God. My pastor is an authority figure. My boss is in a position of authority over me.

Authority figures never go away because God never goes away. They may change, but God will continually write different people into your life as extensions of his authority.

Who is an authority figure in your life?

Are you respectful of them

or is that something you need to work on?

--Kristina

R.E.S.P.E.C.T...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick D) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 07:00:00 +0000

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

Genesis 1:27

What we know then is that all humans are created in the image of God; meaning every single person on this planet is created by God and they reflect who God is. Why is this important? Because it tells us that every single person has an immense value (check out Psalm 139). And this word respect is how we show/tell people how much they are valued.

If you looked up the word respect in the dictionary there are several definitions for this word. It is defined as, “esteem for a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.”

The key part that you should look at is the sense of worth or excellence of a person. That’s why the phrase, "your actions speak louder than words" resonates with so many people. Your actions towards them indicate how much they are valued.

In our culture, respect is not simply given to people freely, it's earned, and I would agree that respect is something that is earned over a period of time to some extent. We do give respect to all people, especially those in authority over us, but the degree to which we respect someone will be dictated by their actions towards us--your actions will cause people to either respect you more or less. The key to take away is that everyone deserves your initial respect. How they respond to that, either negatively or positively, will determine the level of respect given in the future.

--Nick

"I believe human trafficking exists because someone looks at a child, a woman, a man and doesn’t see God’s image. And the consequences of that are grave and heartbreaking."

source

"From the topic of respect to human trafficking, that's a pretty big jump," you say. Yes, it is, but at the heart of human trafficking lies the issue of respect and when we stop showing respect to the image of God that resides in each of our souls, our feet begin to slide down a ditch and into the social mire of exploitation. It all begins with knowing our value; knowing your value.

The fact that you are here, living and breathing gives you worth--as Nick said, it is an intrinsic (you were born with it), God-given worth and that also means that every other person here, from your best friend to the kid who drives you nuts in study hall has the same intrinsic worth.

So let's talk about that worth.
How much are you worth?
.
What if I told you, you were worth blood; artery filling, life-giving, oxygen-providing blood? You are worth breath and life, heaven and all the stars. You are God's crowning creation. The one made to mirror Him.

And since you are, worth blood, that is, how would you get that blood?
Someone, Jesus, had to die and I don't think you can really argue with that as far as deserving respect. We deserve respect, not because of who you are, but because of Who made you.

In a culture that denies the need for respect, how can you be different? How can you demonstrate a concern and recognition of God-given value towards others in your every day life?

Is there anyone you know that you should respect, but you don't?

How could you change that?

--Kristina