Geekanerd

Geekanerd Lives?

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 22:58:00 +0000

If you are a loyal Geekanerd reader (they exist!) you probably are wondering why we haven't posted in a million years.

WELL, the editors now all live in different states, and I, AHR, now work full time as a video editor for Tested.com, which is pretty much the best job a geek could ask for.

You can still follow me on twitter at @AHR, and think of it as just like, Gnerd lite, maybe? Micro-Gnerd?

You can also read the many fine articles we've posted throughout the years. May I suggest:

Our first year's top ten most popular posts.

Our most popular article of all time, 30 Questions My Girlfriend Asked about Star Wars, which was featured on StarWars.com and TheForce.net!

Ads Give Frightning Glance Into The Inner Lives of Social Networkers

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 04:46:00 +0000

These sort of "look at great things you could be texting RIGHT NOW" ads have been popular for a while, but I found some items in this specific campaign by...uh, blackberry, I think?...particularly disturbing.

So it seems that Mr. Brandon Childress has posted the following as his status update: "about to close a big deal, which makes me a big deal. Ha ha."

This is the most depressing status update I've ever read. Let's break it down.

What we have here is a young man (his name is Brandon so he can't be over 27) who has found success beyond his years. He's making deals. He's closing deals. Big deals.

But who cares, Brandon? Who really cares? Do your friends care? Why do you feel the need to qualify your success with a distancing, deadpan "Ha ha."? Are you afraid your command of the capatalist system will alienate you from your friends who are stuck in dead-end office jobs, but spend their weekends trying to put together art-openings at the local tapas bar?

That pointedly unenthusiastic (but carefully capitalized) "Ha ha." puts everything that's come before it in an ironic light - in the grand scheme of things, Brandon knows his deal is not a big deal, and neither is he. He craves recognition for his achievments, but all he can do is stick his little message in a glass bottle of irony and fling it into the sea of facebook, hoping someone will see it and reply with a sincere note of approval. All he's going to get though is messages from his snotty friends saying "dislike".

Meanwhile, Bryan Johnson is trying to dispose of a body and is compelled to talk about it in his away message, unable to resist the serial killer's urge to clue the public into his crimes.

Magic: The Nerdening

noreply@blogger.com (Bishop) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:54:00 +0000

Back in 1993 Wizards of the Coast introduced a collectible card game called "Magic the Gathering." Back then, I was a bona-fide comic book nerd, but I wasn't really up with the D&D or MtG or any of those other acronyms. Someone tried to teach me how to play magic once but I ran out of patience pretty quickly. Give me a break, I was probably 12. I would have rather just bought a pack of Marvel Masterpieces than bought a ton of Magic cards and have to learn a game.

So when a little while back a friend of mine said he had started playing Magic again, and asked me if I was interested in playing, I figured I had some free time to learn about tapping mana and casting spells and said okay.

I happened to be working out in California at the time and stopped by a local comic/game shop and told them I needed some magic cards to play with. They threw together a blue/red deck for me to learn on, which contained cards from a bunch of different series and no real strategy. I brought the deck home with me and headed over to Fat Cat Bar on Christopher St in NYC to Monday night Magic to test out my ability to play a 17 year old card game.

You can guess that head to head I was roundly spanked, though I did manage to eek out a couple 3-4 player games by essentially being so bad that I wasn't considered a threat until the very end of the game. However, my interest was sparked and I went out and bought a common uncommon play set of Magic 2010 and built a few decks. I will say that the largest evil about MtG isn't that everyone thinks you're a huge nerd for playing it, which they do, but rather the fact that people who have been playing forever have so many cards and you have so few, and playing against them makes you want to spend hundreds of dollars just to get a handful of the cards you've been beaten with. The habit can become expensive, so I've found it's in your interest to befriend people who have an over abundance of cards that they don't need and will let you borrow decks to try out.

After a couple weeks of playing, I decided to try drafting. For those not in the know, drafting consists of a bunch of people sitting around a table, or a few tables, and pulling cards one by one of newly opened booster packs that get passed around, and then building a deck and playing a small tournament with the cards you've pulled trying to win prizes or more packs. Again, I got pretty badly beaten, but I had fun and got a bunch of cards out of it. I have to give the game credit, it's a lot more fun than I thought it would be, and I apologize profusely to the magic players that I probably made fun of in the past for being huge nerds. Add one more facet of nerdiness to my resume.

If you're in NYC and you're looking for some people to play with, head over to Fat Cat Monday nights after 7pm and you'll find a ton of people (male and female) sitting around playing Magic, (also there's live Jazz every night along with pool and shuffleboard). And if you're looking for some more drafting, and Friday night Standard tournaments, check out Brooklyn Gamers. And if you've never played before, you should still go and check out those events. Everyone at both places is great and you'll have fun being a huge nerd playing a collectible card game.

This could be you!

Geekanerd Spotter: Thailand Edition

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:47:00 +0000

You might have seen things like these at your local Hot Topic, but these little string dolls come all the way from Thailand, where Gnerd co-founder Albo is currently hanging out, for reasons known only to him.

The real story here is that I totally thought that Green Goblin doll was a skrull at first. Secret Invasion really screwed with my head.

Taking Bets! Which Geek Apocalypse is coming to Norway?

noreply@blogger.com (Degan) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:01:00 +0000

Pretty sweet photoshop job, right? Too bad that jazz is real. Apparently just before 8am, this bizarre blue spiral appeared for about 12 minutes above this mountain in Norway. So what's your poison? Boom Tube from Apokalips? A herald of Galactus? Wormhole from deep space? Possibly a horrid portal to the 9th level of hell? Anything's possible! But what's for sure is that this certainly spells our doom... or at least Norway's. Now, the geeks over at gizmodo think they've solved the mystery; but my money's on the boom tube.

8-Bit Left 4 Dead!

noreply@blogger.com (Degan) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:35:00 +0000

This is a couple days old, I apologize, but you all know I can't pass up an 8-Bit downgrade of our favorite modern video games! Apparently, Pixelforce NES and Eric Ruth are teaming up to launch this 8-bit gem in January 2010; available for download (if you have a PC-Justin Long and John Hodgman would not approve... well Hodgman would approve in character, but really I think he'd be unhappy). So this isn't just a clever animation, its a game demo! In the end, the game will feature all 5 special infected (right now you'll only find the boomer... who is offensively cute for so depraved a corpse), all 4 campaigns and all 5 maps. If you thought gun butting a hunter in the head was hella fun, wait till you try it in 8-bit!

Panel Discussion - Scans from Batman and Robin, Daredevil, Hellboy, and More!

noreply@blogger.com (Degan) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:25:00 +0000

These are a bit late, but there were a ton of books this past week, so we couldn't just let it go. Firstly, the aptly named...

Took Long Enough - Batman and Robin #6
AHR and I have often discussed the rich vein of misery-ore that is Jason Todd; and yet he has gone untapped since his unceremonious resurrection during a crossover event (Superboy punched a wall... yep.) Leave it to good ol' Grant to breathe life into a character that virtually everybody hates. Here we get a taste of the unique pathos that could only belong to a character who was universally hated, voted to die, pointlessly resurrected only to be universally hated again, starred in terrible crossover event comics, and constantly struggled for the approval of a psychotic who is now dead. Much like Dini did for Hush, I now care about Jason Todd.

Added bonus of Grant's Jason Todd? An unironic awareness of the absurdity of the DC Universe-I love it when characters call the DCU on its super hero death BS. Much like Ralph Dibny in 52, Jason seems to be uniquely aware of the fact that people die and are reborn willy nilly in this world. Why is it only the crazy ones seem to notice?

No Comment - Green Lantern Corps #42

Yikes. Is it just me, or do these two seem to be having too much fun defiling the zombie corpse of Kyle's ex? Makes you wonder what kinda green constructs they "play with" in their down time. Feels more like a disturbing scene from Dexter-if Dexter was set in space and featured red-skinned hotties and zombies... and if Dexter was a pervert.

Best Return to Form - Daredevil #502
It's great to see Kingpin revisiting his Frank Miller glory days-back to his ol' needlessly-murdering self. Super classy touch using the shadow to depict the action, with the contorted hand in the foreground. On an unrelated note: Never make fun of Kingpin's juice.

He's Behind You! - Batman and Robin #6
Usually, there might be a bit of dramatic irony-the character unaware of his/her surroundings while we, the readers, can clearly see the danger looming. That's not how Batman and Robin roll. First you have newRobin being a dick, like the dickish homicidal 10-yr old he is. Then you have him actually announce "He's behind you", all non-chalant like. Then BAM. Classic.
And a less clear cut example from earlier in the same book... but looming danger indeed! Look out Batman! There's a psychotic hanger-on arming himself with heavy artillery behind you! Whew, he caught it. Don't want newRobin doing this again.

Meh... No biggie - Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #8
Wow, waita take a heavy situation lightly. Not only do they casually mention it, but visually, they're tiny within the already small panels. Great way to completely downplay the crazy shit that just happend. Just so you know, that's excalibur, the sword in the stone, that he's lackadaisically swinging around.

Cute Overload - B.P.R.D.: 1947 #5
Lastly, another bit of Hellboy. For a hellish demon spawn, Hellboy makes a pretty damn cute kid. I was torn about which panel to choose-there were about 6 or 7 adorable panels... and putting them all together tells a cute little mini story about Hellboy wanting to play catch (awww). For the rest of the adorableness, pick up the issue (also other stuff happens).

How To Enjoy 2012

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:48:00 +0000

(Minorish spoilers for 2012, but trust me, it doesn't matter)

Do you love movies about the apocalypse? Sure, we all do. One of the most unpleasant aspects of being aware of your own mortality is dealing with the fact that the world actually DOESN'T revolve around you, and once you're gone the story of mankind will continue just fine. In apocalypse movies, not so! Sure, you're going to die, but take this lovely parting gift with you; everyone else and the world!

As much as I love seeing famous landmarks fall down, it's a sad fact of Hollywood movies that the better the special effects, the most emotionally dishonest the story is going to be. I don't go to an apocalypse movie to feel good about how mankind's plucky will to survive can withstand even supervolcanos and ash blocking out the sun for a million years - I go for the catharsis of oblivion!

2012 does has some wonderful action setpieces in the first hour, and does a nice job of ramping up the tension on their way there. I would not entirely disuade you from spending 10-12 dollars on it, as long as you follow my advice on how best to enjoy it:

1. Sneak a beer in
2. Watch the first hour, or however long it takes them to get to China

Third and most important step after the jump:

3. Once they get to China, leave the theater and imagine a scenario in which all the main characters die, consumed with the horror and ecstasy of baring witness to the end of the human race.

If you need a visual aid, here you go:

Panel Discussion - Scans from The Great Ten, Secret Six, Psylocke, and More

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:37:00 +0000

Best Historical Revisionism - The Great Ten #1

The 2008 Beijing Olympic Opening Ceremonies were already one of the most mind-blowing spectacles I've ever seen. How much more awesome would it have been with actual Superheroes involved? We'll never know cause all we get to see is the Great Ten standing in the center of the Bird's Nest, or whatever that mega-stadium was called. What a rip.

Fearful Symmetry - Psylocke #1

Do not wan. We get a lot of these split-screen Psylocke shots, and I suppose they serve a thematic purpose, but I don't see a reason to expose us all to this ugly smooshfest.

Oedipal Issues - Secret Six #15

Is it really necessary to show us via flashback that Floyd's mom once dressed up EXACTLY like Floyd's future sex partner, the inimitable Jeanette?

Movie Moment - Dark Reign - The List: Wolverine

This issue is actually from last week, but I couldn't let a There Will Be Blood reference go unmentioned. Especially one that doesn't go for the easy milkshake meme. Great body language from Normie here.

The Magic of Comics - Age of Reptiles: The Journey #1
I can't begin to tell you how excited I was this week when, while scanning the new books, I came across this title. As a kid, Delgado's previous Age Of Reptiles series were 2 of my absolute favorite books. The middle school me nearly died inside when I saw this. If you want near flawless visual storytelling, pick up any of the Age of Reptiles books-the entire story is told sans text, and without the conveniently recognizable expressions of the human face. Plus Delgado's always good for a clever, and unique visual cue to get a story point across. Take, for example, the middle divider with the dinosaur eyes-it took me a moment to understand what I was looking at, but it's a brilliant little moment. The first panel is the T-Rex, with the angry mama Triceratops reflected, the second is the round eyed, terrified baby dino with nothing but a full view of terrifying teeth. And the last is the determined mother, with the T-Rex and baby reflected. A great, and efficient, way to quickly get across 3 very different points of view.

Another example of great visual storytelling-we have the adorable little baby Triceratops shouting at the threatening T-Rex, the classic "is-this-kid-serious?" look on the T-Rex, followed by a quick barked out threat that sends the cute little guy shaking behind the legs of the grownups. Nearly every page of this book has a little gem like this.

In-Joke Alert - Assault on New Olumpus #1

Wheatcakes! Cause that's something Aunt May talks about...in the past. Sorry folks, slow week.

More Dangerous Real Life Superpowers

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:31:00 +0000

In the tradition of homemade Wolverine claws, here is an even more dangerous DIY superpower.

Don't try this at home, kids! Unless you really want to, in which case detailed instructions can be found here.

Please use these powers for good, or at least lawful neutral. What I want to know is who would win in a fight between this guy and the Wolverine claws guy. I think Wolvie is more likely to inflict harm without burning his own arm off in the process, but I'm willing to hear other theories.

Via Gizmodo

Left 4 Dead Pumpkins-Reunited at last!

noreply@blogger.com (Degan) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:46:00 +0000

I was really excited to carve some L4D zombies this year, but was bummed when no one opted for my Tank stencil. But bummed no more! Thanks to Evan, I got to see my L4D Tank in action! I have to say, great job man! It looks pretty abominable-as anything with the Tank's gruesome visage should be! So, at long last, the Special Infected are reunited in pumpkin form! (except for the boomer-but really, if you imagine the special infected throwing a party, do you really think they're gonna invite the boomer? Yeah, I wouldn't either.) Thanks for making this happen Evan!

Now I just have to figure out what next year's batch of pumpkins are gonna be... any satisfactorily geeky ideas?

Panel Discussion: Scans From Blackest Night, Detective Comics, New Avengers, and More

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:30:00 +0000

Click the pix for high res. No real spoilers this week, but still tread with caution if you're not up on your books.

Worst Splash Panel - Blackest Night #4
Now is the time to come clean; just about everyone on the Gnerd staff hates Blackest Night. So many splash panels like this. A sea of obscure characters made even more obscure by the fact that they're wearing stripped down black versions of their costumes. I LOVE zombies, I do, but splash pages likes this are so cluttered they're not scary, they're not shocking, they're just ill-defined and unpleasant. That's how I feel about Blackest Night as a whole, really.

Arkham gets a facelift, thugs get kicked in the face, and Jean Loring is awesome even in death, after the jump...

Most Unfortunate Remodeling - Arkham Reborn #1
So as you may or may not know, Arkham Asylum recently got destroyed for the, I don't know, 6th time? and some hotshot young doctor is trying to rebuild it as a more enlightened healing facility. Perhaps he will find out ideals are no so easily applied to reality in Gotham! But all that aside, I have to say making the entry way look like a giant mouth is probably not the sort of visual metaphor that is going to soothe the criminally disturbed mind. Not that it matters, I'm sure this building will be blown up or burnt down or frozen or eaten by a giant plant before the scaffolding comes down.

Signature Move - Detective Comics #858
In the past, I may have made light of Renee Montoya's fighting style, which mostly consists of kicks to the face. But I've reconsidered. Renee is a lady, a non-superpowered lady, and as any female member of a varsity crew team will tell you, women pack most of their power in their legs.

So I guess what I'm saying is, Montoya has found a move that works for her, and she's sticking with it. I respect that.

Most Triumphant Return - Blackest Night #4
Okay, so maybe my attachment to Jean Loring stems entirely from this fanfic/parody/deranged piece of performance art, but let's look at the facts; she shrank herself and stepped on someone's brain, and then proceeded to go crazy and became a god and spent a long time orbiting the sun trapped in a space diamond. She's pretty badass. I was saddened to learn that unlike every other comic book character, when she fell into shark infested waters and was presumed dead, she actually died! But on the plus side, Jean's status as deceased means she can come back as a Black Lantern and punch people's hearts out of their chest, like that guy in Indiana Jones. Ray, how did you ever let this one get away?

Best Visual Foreshadowing - Detective Comics #858
As we learned in the last issue of Detective (SPOILER ALERT!), the creepy Alice in Wonderland villain who faced off against Batwoman in the previous arc was in fact BW's own twin sister. Suspension of disbelief powers, activate! Writer Greg Rucka is now giving us some good childhood backstory, where we see the Kane twins growing up like normal military brats, except for a horribly traumatic kidnapping ordeal.

It's pretty hard to tell the two apart for the first part of the story, but when we get to this scene, all is made clear. Little Kate's winter gear mirrors Batwoman's costume, right down to the red boots, and Beth's pink and white ensemble foreshadows her psychedelic babydoll Alice outfit. With an art team of J.H. Williams and Dave Stewart, you expect these sorts of cool visual touches, but it's still nice to take a minute and savor them.

Best Arial Stunts - World's Finest #1 and New Avengers #58
I'm a sucker for when people are launched from moving vehicles by a sudden stop in momentum. Robin handles it a lot better than Motorcycle guy. I have to admit the Red Robin costume is finally starting to grow on me.

Meanwhile, here we have a classic case of unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. They bounce off each other with a resounding KTANG, leaving bystanders dumbstruck and gasping out censored curse words.

Cardboard Hobbit Feet FTW

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:28:00 +0000

Ladies and gentlemen, the best Halloween costume I saw of 2009. While they may not win big in the the Topical or Original categories, there is a lot of good going on here. The hobbit/right wraith height differential, the gender swap, the props (they had killer backpacks as well), and more than anything else, the FEET! That is genuine cardboard with hair glued on. This is DIY craftmanship at it's best. Awesome.

A few more photos of notable nerd costumes, after the jump...

Is it sad that I immediately recognized this as a Shy Guy and not just a spooky ghost?

Star Fleet uniforms are easy to come by, but you have to admire the dedication the accuracy displayed when it comes to hairstyles/facial hair grooming. There is no mistaking these guys for generic redshirts.

Given my unique relationship with Anakin Skywalker, seeing his doppleganger walking around in the flesh was a little terrifying, especially with little kids running around all over the place.

Panel Discussion: Scans from Beasts of Burden, Thunderbolts, Spider-Woman, and More

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 05:28:00 +0000

Cute Overload - Beasts of Burden #2
This book is actually dark and sad and terrifying, but come on, CUTE DOGGIES! The really remarkable aspect of this sequence, in which neighborhood dogs bug our animal heroes with a bunch of frivolous cases, is how Jill Thompson's dog drawings perfectly evoke the personalities Evan Dorkin has written for them in just one panel. We've got the thuggish bull terrier, the dopey briard, the gossipy Pomeranians, and the paranoid Chihuahuas. Anthropomorphizing animals never seemed so true to life.

Pretty girls, crazy supervillians, and cop abuse, after the jump...

Excessive Force - Azrael #1

Gotham is just a mess since Batman died. Robin is slicing faces off with a hacksaw, and Azrael is beating the living crap out of a room full of cops! This isn't even the old crazy Azrael, it's some new perfectly sane guy who just happens to be down with kicking cops in the nuts and punching their noses into their brains.
This scene makes it all better.

Fun with Montage - Power Girl #6
Why are trips to Ikea always fun? Actually sometimes they're horrible and boring, but I've definitely had trips much like the ones experienced here by Power Girl and her galpal whatshername. Amanda Connor continues to turn out the most lighthearted yet densely communicative art on the stands today. I love all the Swedized words - it took me a while to get "tasty rolls" from "tejsti rohls". What is the name of the store, "Aidja", supposed to be?

Best Visual Metaphor - Thunderbolts 137
This panel completely sums up Norman Osbourne's role in Dark Reign. Sitting on his Green Goblin glider (why not?), setting up dominoes, boozing it up. He's completely given up any pretense of pretending to be sane around his underlings. It's kind of classy, somehow.

Photo Reference Done Right - Spider-Woman #2
I don't understand why some comic fans get upset about photo referencing. The model in this case, Jolynn Carpenter, is actually credited at the head of the book along with the writer and artist. I've never seen this done before, but it's a good idea. If you're going to have someone "playing" a comic character, they should get a credit. These panels are beautiful, thanks both to Carpenter being really gorgeous and to artist Alex Maleev's beautiful colors and shadow effects. There's also some very subtle compositional touches that link the panels together - check out how the outline of her shoulder in the top panels becomes the edge of a shadow in the second panel.

More Geekanerdy Pumpkins: BONUS L4D Stencils Included!

noreply@blogger.com (Degan) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:12:00 +0000

This year saw an amazing batch (or should is say patch? no I shouldn't) of Jack-o-Lanterns-some geekanerdy, some halloweeny, and some...thing else too. I may have been up all night working on stencils, but it was worth it! Everyone really pulled out all the stops and carved some crazy pumpkins. Also, the pumpkin squares and mulled cider were pretty tasty.

Here are the two Left 4 Dead pumpkins we did-I worked on the Hunter pair and Christine did the Smoker (in loving tribute of fellow G'Nerd Bishop-who was stuck in stinky old California... like some other G'Nerd editors I know...) Generally, I don't support anything that could be construed as zombie-hugging-lest we forget that they are unholy abominations-but the lure of violating these perfect orange gourds with the foul silhouettes of the special infected could not be denied! Plus, added bonus of seeing them deteriorate into shriveled messes! Take that filthy zombie kind! Hit the jump to see details, more pumpkins, PLUS BONUS Left 4 Dead stencils so you can make your own!

Some Detail shots of the two L4D pumpkins. I also designed a Tank stencil, but no one chose to carve it. Alas.

Mad props to Dave T, who masterfully carved this challenging Larry David Pumpkin I designed for him. I think he did a Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good job.

Now, I'm sure none of you would care, but my lovely wife wanted to do a pumpkin of our dog, Leo McGarry. How can you say no to such an adorable proposition? I think it turned out nearly as cute as the real thing:

Lastly, you'll find two of the four L4D stencils (we haven't finished stencil-fying the 2 Hunters). Since we didn't get a chance to do the Tank ourselves, I'd love for one of you to take a stab at it-send us a pic when you're done! I'm dying to know how it looks on a pumpkin!

Geekanerd Spotter: The Storm Troopers Rock Poster

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:21:00 +0000

Saw this in my new home base of San Francisco. August 19th? What a tease. And this band doesn't appear to exist on the internet. WHAT THE HELL. I know Star Wars took place in the past, but this is ridiculous. Clones need to get their shit together and post some MP3s.

If you didn't read the small print at the top, you're missing some brilliant stupid puns.

Ponyo, Ponyo, Pumpkin in the Sea

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:43:00 +0000

Last year's Best Geek Jack-o-Lantern post is getting a lot of attention this season (why are Stumblers always so late to the party?), and it inspired me to try my hand at pumpkin carving. My muse? My favorite movie of the year...
PONYO! Yes she's a weird superdeformed fish/bug/fairy thing, but she's so freakin cute!

I'm really pleased with how this came out, especially since it's my first attempt at pumpkin carving since grade school. I was nervous about cutting away the background, but it turns out that pumpkin hide is thick enough to anchor the entire design on Ponyo's thin little fish fins.

Here's what it looked like without the negative space backdrop...
Eh, maybe it looked better this way? Shaddup.

Are you carving a pumpkin inspired by a nerd icon this year? Send us a pic! We'll include it in this year's Geek Jack-o-Lantern post, and you too can have your work seen by thousands of people...one year later, on stumbleupon.

Zombies in the Mushroom Kingdom?

noreply@blogger.com (Degan) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:18:00 +0000

In celebration of my brand new Xbox, I submit to you some amazing custom maps for Left 4 Dead. Prepare to have all of your childhood memories drenched in vile, bloated-corpse vomit-because some sick geek has "lovingly" recreated the princess' castle from Mario 64 and added disgusting, god forsaken, zombie abominations. The crazies over at at l4dmaps.com have a whole of slew custom left4dead maps and campaigns. This isn't anything new of course-creating custom maps and mods for beloved games is a time honored tradition. But there's something blissfully disturbing about throwing screaming, defiled undead into your adorable childhood favorites. The mushroom kingdom map really earns its keep when you can get pipe bombs from question mark boxes.

But they don't stop there, they've also recreated the battle of Helm's Deep (see video below), recreated a Zelda dungeon-complete with puzzles and keys, a Night of the Living Dead homage... and there's a Wolfenstein, Starship Troopers, and even Michael Jackson's Thriller mod in the works! Because what cherished memory wouldn't be better when infested with zombies?

via kotaku

DJ Hero? More Like Passable DJ

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 04:37:00 +0000

Last Sunday, I stopped by my local GameStop to check out DJ Hero; the latest entry in the field of Pretend Musician Gaming. With this turntable sim, Activision is hoping to capture the attention of guitar heros and rock bandateers as well as a previously untapped market of music fans who like beats to their sweet guitar solos. They're throwing a lot of weight behind the game; talking up it's pre-sale numbers, hiring Jay-Z and Eminem as spokesmen, and buying up companies with competing DJ games and then firing half the staff. DAMN, guys! This game must be totally amazing!

After spending about fifteen minutes with the game, my gamer-sense detected a potential chink in the armor of this supposed juggernaut.

A semi-informed review after the jump...

After the initial thrill of discovering the new set of reflexes it takes to fade between tracks and scratch the little plastic turntable, I found myself thinking "this would be a lot more fun if this mix was any good." I don't want to pretend to be a DJ who mixes passable mashups of trashy pop hits and oldies; I want to pretend to be a DJ HERO! I played three demo tracks; "Hollaback Girl" vs Rick James' "Give It To Me", "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" vs "Feel Good Inc", and a third track I can't remember because, hey! it wasn't very memorable.

The DJ hero setlist includes tons of awesome artists mixed two at a time into "93 exclusive mixes". So who is actually mixing these mixes? They have a lot of professional DJs contributing tracks (DJ Shadow was the only one I knew or cared about), though I can't quite see pros bringing their A material to a children's video game. Go check out the DJ Hero website, and you'll notice something conspicuously absent; a music player that allows you to preview a few of these 93 exclusive mixes. The closest I could find is this video clip of a guest mix by Daft Punk, and even that is unimpressive.

A big part of what was great about previous Music Sim games is that they have all of music history to pull their setlists from, so the game isn't just about perfecting your twitch reflects, but also about enjoying cool tunes (Breaking the Wheel not withstanding). Knowing and loving a song also makes gameplay more intuitive, and sells the illusion that mashing plastic buttons is actually producing the musical artistry coming through your speakers.

It's definitely fun to pretend to scratch, but just because you can mix two songs doesn't necessarily mean you should. It's fun to listen to a DJ mix songs live because it's cool and technically impressive, even if you wouldn't want to listen to it over and over again. The kind of mixology that I DO like listening to over and over again falls into a more repetitive groove, and wouldn't make great gameplay. DJ hero feels more like a standard rhythm game where you're simply sitting on the couch with a stationary controller, and the gratification is getting your reflexes up to par. It doesn't capture the thrill of feeling like you are producing a work of musical art.

So from my limited demo playing experience, I don't see DJ Hero reinventing the Guitar Hero wheel. The wow factor that you got the first time you played Guitar Hero, or the first time you started pounding away on the Rock Band drums is simply not present. All the type and guest stars Activision can buy ultimately can't account for a music sim without great music. Of course it's possible they just picked three mediocre tracks for the demo, and there's some other really mind blowing stuff deeper in.

Probably not as mind blowing as this, though.

Geekanerd Spotter: Charlie Brown Car

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 01:41:00 +0000

This is definitely awesome, but if you paint your car to look like Charlie Brown aren't you just asking for a depressing, soul-crushing driving experience?

Spotted near the west side of Prospect Park, Brooklyn.

Geekanerd Spotter: 8-Bit Mario in Paris

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:52:00 +0000

Geekanerd Spotter has seen plenty of 8-bit street art, but what makes this mini-mosaic featuring Mario any different? It's French! Fellow blogger and loyal reader Lena was recently in Paris, and snapped these pictures of Mario in his unnatural habit.

I've always said those Parisians had class. Can any old schoolers tell me the name of the white figure Mario is facing off against?

Obama With A Lightsaber

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:26:00 +0000

Jeez, Obama. Why are you such a nerd all the time? You're talking to Spider-Man, you give DVD Box sets to visiting world leaders, you're hanging out with John Hodgman....and now you're waving a lightsabre around on the White House lawn?!

For the first time in my life as an American, I truly believe one day I could be President.

Boring Context: Chicago wants to host the 2016 Olympic Games, so Chi-Guy Obama did some photo ops with a few Olympians, including some fencers. But where did he get a lightsaber? Did some Olympic PR intern bring it along for LOLs, or does Obama carry one at all times for his own personal protection? I need an answer.

Panel Discussion: Scans from Secret Six, Red Robin, Dark Reign: The List, and More!

noreply@blogger.com (AHR) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Every week (usually) we at Geekanerd rip panels from our comics and put them on display here, recognizing the best, worst, and weirdest moments of the week. Click for higher res.

Oh Hell No - Thunderbolts #135

Crazy unbelievable things happen all the time in comics, and this is how things should be. But every now and then there's a panel or two that just makes you go, "Oh hell no." These panels are fine examples. Lightsabers deflecting laser blasts, that I buy. Little metal bracelets attached to superhuman arms deflecting bullets, okay. But a thin metal blade deflecting a hail of near point-blank gun fire? You pushed me too far, comics. I just don't see it happening.

Best Punchline - Secret Six #13

So maybe this joke is actually not any funnier than any other bit in a Gail Simone book (it's a high bar), but the rarely used "PUNCHLINE SPOTLIGHT" really brings it home. If this were a cartoon, there'd be a wacky musical stinger and all the other Sixers would yell "waaaughh!" and fall down. This is why there should be a Secret Six cartoon. I will fund it.

Worst Peer Counseling - Red Robin #4

Regardless of whether or not Tim should be in therapy, Dick should not be suggesting it mid-fight as Tim throws a kick to his face. Tim is not likely to be receptive, and it's not going to defuse the the tension at that particular moment.

Most Unintentionally Hilarious Panel - Political Power - Barack Obama
But does young Barry Obama actually smoke that gigantic blunt? We'll never know, because this is the end of that scene. Either way, that picture of the beatifically young and innocent Mr. Obama with a huge joint in his face is totally awesome.

Best POV Shot- Secret Six #13
In case you ever wondered what it would be like to be Deadshot, here you go! Bursts of light, dead people, and bullet casings, in that order.

This one-panel sequence is just a idle daydream, but it's worth noting that in Deadshot's rebellion fantasy he kills his teammate Ragdoll along with his employers. Is that really necessary? I understand wanting to make a clean break of things, but Ragdoll tends to just go with the flow; I'm inclined to believe if Floyd decided to revolt against his employers (which I suspect he will by next issue), Ragdoll would switch sides just as easily - he's not much of a threat on his own anyway. I think the choice to include Ragdoll in the carnage is a way to indicating Floyd's distaste for the mission, and anyone who'd go along with it, despite how he himself has rationalized it.

Nitpick Alert - Red Robin #4
It's great that Tim hearts the troops, but I think he may be selling himself just a leeeettlle bit short here. This kid has taken on trained ninjas from the League of Shadows, not to mention all manner of alien/demon things during his Teen Titan adventures. I think he can handle a trio of soldiers.

Achievement in Rudeness - Dark Reign: The List #1

Context: Hawkeye (or Ronin or Clint or whatever) wants to pull a CIA style assassination on Norman Osbourne, cause why not!
DAMN! This is why people hate superheroes in your universe, Ms. Marvel. They're so damn superior! Can you please give whatshisname a real answer about why it's not okay to just kill Norman Osbourne? At least pull out the old "because we're better than that" or "it's a slippery slope" or "at what cost" or "who's next?". Don't just pick at your gloved fingernails and look at him like he just peed on the carpet. This is why I only read Marvel books for the villains.

Best Detail - Secret Six #13
Look, I know there are multiple scratches on the walls in Scandal's bedroom. She wears huge knives on her hands, it'll happen. I get that. But I just feel that it would be remiss not to point out that the wall above the headboard of her bed appears to be splintering apart. I appreciate that.

Doom Is Back in B-More! Gallagher Edition!

noreply@blogger.com (Degan) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:29:00 +0000

Dr. Victor von Doom is back in my hometown; terrorizing the unsuspecting citizens of Baltimore with comedic stylings straight from the early 80s. At least we now know that Latveria gets comedy central-cause it looks like Doom spends his daytime hours watching ancient Gallagher specials. I'm assuming he can't spend all that time plotting the destruction of the Fantastic Four; if that were the case you'd think there'd be some results by now. Either way, you haven't laughed at a smashed watermelon in decades! Live a little! Favorite line? "A big bowl of Trix... Because Sue Storm is a Whore!"

The 10 Least Practical Superpowers

noreply@blogger.com (Degan) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Who among us hasn't, at some point in their life, tried to bargain for super powers with whatever higher power they prefer. God, god, Allah, Vishnu, Xenu, Rama Kushna, a young George Lucas; you name it, some geek has prayed to it. Come on, don't act like I'm the crazy one here. And in the course of said bargaining, we've all come to the point where we say, "I don't need to be Superman-just give me ONE power!" Well, this post is dedicated to whichever lucky nerd out there gets his or her prayers answered... You don't want to be caught unawares and end up with some stinker of a power all because you were caught in the sway of its superficial coolness.

To that end, this list is, BY NO MEANS, a list of "lame" super powers. In fact, these might be some of the coolest superpowers out there. BUT, I'm judging these powers' practicality based on one's ability to immediately go out there and start "making a difference." How useful would any of these powers be when fighting actual crime, or helping actual people? Because, were any self-respecting geek lucky enough to be granted a super power, he or she is gonna run straight home, drape a bath towel over his or her shoulders, and dive straight into action! Would we have any other choice? Years of black and white comic book morality have left us emotionally crippled-I don't think we'd even be able to think of any other use for a super power. Anyway, read on to be sure you're any actual use to human kind once you've been chosen to defend it.

10: Flight

Though probably the most practical in a real world setting-who wouldn't jump at the chance to fly like the eagle and be forever exempt from layovers in Denver-flight, however, is not a great solo power in the world of costumed crime fighting. It would make for easy getaways, and I guess you could scout ahead; but what would you actually do to fight crime? Drop rocks? Hock a loogie? And you'd probably be as easy to hit as a low level duck in Duck Hunt [insert sound effect of that evil 8-bit dog laughter]. And imagine being in a super hero team fighting some sort of sinister alien menace or cybernetic demon... all your buddies will be in the fray while you flutter around and watch helplessly, hoping that you don't get swatted by a stray piece of urban demolition. There's a reason this power is always a compliment, and rarely the sole power... just look at the lamest character on Heroes (and that's saying something), Nathan Petrelli.

*UPDATE* To address the dissenters who argue that this power would be useful in a fight, I ask this: who says you can suddenly pick up people willy nilly just cause you can fly? You don't have super strength; so unless you are currently strong enough to lift a 200 lb. mugger with ease, I don't know why you think you could do it while hovering a few feet off the ground. Yes, you could probably save children and particularly light damsels in distress... otherwise, good luck trying to lift that flailing-with-a-knife lunatic outside the 7-11.

9: Invisibility

The second half of the classic philosophical dilemma: invisibility or flight? (obviously flight) Invisibility is another one of those powers that has a plethora of real world applications (almost all sinister) but isn't much good in the crime fighting department. Sure, you could spy on potential wrong-doers, but you couldn't do a lot more unless you back it up with some crazy karate skills or something. Upon closer speculation, it gets even grimmer. Best case scenario-you can turn your clothes invisible and you're stuck holding your breath and tiptoeing around killers and creeps.... worse case scenario, you're stuck covering your junk, and hoping no one bumps into your translucent, naked ass. Also, you're pretty limited to warmer climes.

8: Talking to Sea Animals
(or any animals really)

I feel bad about this one. Aquaman already catches enough crap from people who don't respect the King of the Sea... but really, talking to sea animals isn't gonna do you much good. The comics have us believe that there is an abundance of giant squid and blue whales; but really you'd be spending most of your time chatting with tuna and scad. And unless you're battling Somali pirates, the vast majority of crime takes place on land. And even if you could chat with land animals, in actuality you'd be mostly talking to the bottom of the food chain. Its not like there are bears and lions casually patrolling the streets waiting for your commands. Hope you know how to work with squirrels and pigeons, buddy.

7: Uncontrollable Monster Form

This one's kind of a "no duh" case; but it's still a common enough power that needs to be addressed. Sure, as a rampaging beast of a man, you could probably stop a whole lotta crime. You could also accidentally level a city street, squash a few misunderstanding cops, and kill your loved ones with an overzealous hug. If you were able to maintain your own consciousness, then obviously this one would be a winner. But if you give up control to the reptilian parts of your brain, then your alter ego is bound to be more of a villain than a hero. Also, the replacement wardrobe costs would bankrupt you.

6: Super Senses

Unless they're backed up by Daredevil's radar sense, super senses make you little more than a super stalker. You can listen to people have sex a mile away and try to check out some girl's butt (of course all you'll see are bones), but you really can't do much to fight crime. I suppose you could be some sort of Super Snitch, just listening to people plan crimes; but you'll probably spend most of your life sucking down aspirin for all the super migraines.

5: Any sort of Power Blasts
(laser eyes, laser fists, etc)

We have now exited the useless-in-the-field portion of the list, and entered the walking-death-factory stretch of the list. Power blasts are cool, and really useful when fighting robots and other invulnerable super beings; BUT not so great when fighting your standard crime. We all know that a stray blast from Cyclops' eyes can demolish a steel and concrete wall. Well, imagine that same blast making contact with the fragile, waterballoon-stuffed-with-organs that is your typical bank robber: Boom! People confetti. So unless you're looking to haphazardly explode people like so many cut scenes from District 9, Power Blasts won't get you much further than a jail cell (specially designed to hold you of course).

4: Sonic Scream

Another power that is great on 3-color-printed paper, but not so much in practice is the popular Sonic Scream-which has been relegated almost solely to female characters for some offensive reason I'm sure. However, it's hard to imagine any situation where this power doesn't just burst everyones' ear drums within a 5 block radius. Unless you plan on handing out ear plugs to all potential victims before any crime occurs, you're going to spend most of your costumed career being scorned for deafening an entire populace for a few purse snatchers and a car jacker.

3: Pyrokinesis/Self-Combustion
(e.g. The Human Torch)

Fire's totally awesome! And the thought of being enveloped in living flame while being unscathed is equally awesome. Plus, you can fly! Bonus awesome! Too bad you'll be responsible for the burn ward overflow at all the area hospitals. You probably couldn't even get close to anyone, victim or aggressor, without melting flesh from bones. Extra minus: do you know any super smart, stretchy guys who can manufacture your clothing from unstable molecules? No? Well, then you'll have to find someplace warm and private every time you "flame off," cause you'll be spending alot of time naked... and alot of money replacing charred jeans.

2: Adamantium Claws

This might be one of the most popular of all time... naturally thanks to one of the arguably baddest assest superheroes of all time. But let's be honest, the claws aren't what makes the mutant; it's his healing factor. That's why Wolverine is the workhorse of the X-Men, the claws are just the garnish. Also, when not coupled with a healing factor, they can be more trouble than they're worth (as this video clearly demonstrates). Even if we can ignore the massive amounts of personal blood loss, you basically just have 6 deadly knives attached to your hands. You can go out, right now, and try to fight crime with a knife in both hands, and you're practically there... and there wouldn't be too good. You're either eviscerating muggers and landing in jail, or you're just gonna get shot. Either way, the style points don't make up for the all the blood loss and severed digits.

1: Trust Fund and Anger Issues

This last one isn't so much a power, as it is a successful formula for superhero makings. It works great in the comics! Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark, Oliver Queen, Ted Kord, Danny Rand, whatever Moon Knight's name is (I won't even bother looking it up)... all turned out great thanks to their money and various emotional problems! Why is this not a practical "power"? Because it actually exists! And we don't have a single super hero! You're telling me, out of all the thousands of spoiled rich kids with rage issues, not a one of them bothered to dedicate their life and wealth to fighting crime? This isn't a formula for nigh-invincible, robot armor; so much as it is a recipe for date rape. Wealth and emotional problems are wasted on the rich and emotionally disturbed.

So that's my list of impractical super powers. I look forward to any arguments you may pose... as I'm sure you're all straining your brains to think of practical crime-fighting applications for these stinkers. Either way, when you do get that one wish from a genie, make sure you think long and hard about the power you choose. May I suggest super speed or a green lantern ring?