GeekMethod - We geek out so you dont have to

Podcast 63 - I think some people's definition of manliness is effed up

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:10:00 GMT

At the end of today's show we spend some time discussing a list we found of the '64 Manliest Movies'. I'm still offended by the exclusion of 'Rocky' from not just the easily deserved number one spot, but from the list entire. No 'Great Escape'? What about 'Saving Private Ryan', or jeezusmaryandjoseph 'BRYANS SONG'? I DEFY any man to watch that and not cry a single manly tear. Old Yeller? No, let's put 'American Psycho' at number 2. That's just wrong. Apparently the guys who wrote this list believe that a man's movie is one that no woman would watch. I think a manly movie is one that inspires you to be a better man. Call me crazy.

Podcast 62 - Oh mama, I need some of that sweet moondust herb

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 06 May 2008 00:15:00 GMT

So I was playing GTA IV the other day - along with probably 99 percent of our listeners out there - and I shot a guy in the face. Nothing new there. But as he fell backwards, he was immediately dismantled by a speeding car - blood smearing under the tire tracks as the driver tried to brake. All while a passer-by shouted, �Aw damn! That was FUCKED up!� Screw growing plants in moon dust - why do I need to leave my living room? I can watch simulated TV on a video game thats playing on my TV. Ahh - too meta! Brain hurting. Need more senseless killing.

Podcast 61 - Don't Hellray me, Bro!

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:15:00 GMT

EA Interactive made public last week it's desire to purchase 2K Games, the publisher of such titles as BioShock, the MLB2K series, and Grand Theft Auto IV. There isn't much we have to say on the issue that isn't already addressed in the Ars link posted below, but we just want to show our support. Yet another acquisition for the hungry, roaring juggernaut that is EA is just plain bad for the industry.

I also finally got a Wii, and there is much rejoicing in my happy home. Expect much more attention paid to Wii gaming news moving forward. We also have XBox news, weird news, and all your favorite DIY geeky goodness.

Podcast 60 - Hang in there, 2K

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:15:00 GMT

EA In the same breath that we invent a non-lethal weapon designed as a more humane means of crowd control, we invent a miracle water distiller that can supposedly eradicate fifty percent of the world's disease.

Of course, we also spend an equal amount of time making toy guns that can fire 25 foam darts per minute and port modern rhythm games to 26 year old consoles. Ain't the future grand?

They say human beings are unique compared to other species of animals on the planet in that we are able to innovate and adapt the environment around us to match our own small range of tolerable conditions.

Right now, I'm watching a Discovery channel documentary about shark attacks. I can't help but be relieved that Sharks can't make nets, much less dart guns or non-lethal heat rays. Brr.

Podcast 59 - We are horrible human beings

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 00:15:00 GMT

We actually recorded this over a week ago, but I am a horrible human being. We are not awful for laughing at people who kill themselves, or mothers who feed their children marijuana. No, we are terrible for not posting a podcast in a timely manner. Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I am wicked sorry I cannot get my shit together to post my podcast on time. I did not mean to get so far behind on my work, and Call of Duty 4 is so fun, I can’t help myself. Please cleanse me of my lackadaisical ways. And could you seriously put some more Wiis on the shelves, because DAMN.

Podcast 58 - Hello Kitty makes everything funnier

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 00:15:00 GMT

It really does. Think about something wicked depressing. Like bulldozers razing a children’s park, or giant smokestacks belching industrial waste into the sky. Now imagine them painted bright pink with the ubiquitous kitty emblazoned prominently on their hulls. Hilarious! The US military should make an elite unit of soldiers dressed in bright pink Hello Kitty uniforms. The bad guys would be too busy laughing to ever return fire. How could the world fear a totalitarian regime if it were protected by pretty pink stormtroopers? Sorry, on a tangent there - OMG MACBOOK AIR. Is that what you came here expecting? We aim to please.

Podcast 57 - Microwave cooking just got a lot more disturbing

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:15:00 GMT

I have no idea why we are not recording a show at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas this year. It's a five hour drive from Phoenix, and a 45 minute plane ride, tops. I profusely apologize for our lack of ambition. In the meantime, you can listen to our commentary on some of the news out of Vegas, and cringe at how far crazy can take you in the kitchen.

Podcast 56 - Haikus? Nah, but we've got dirty limericks

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, my geeky friends. I hope your holiday season is filled with magic and shiny things that make most excellent whirring noises. I'm off again to Chicago for the holidays, but don't worry - I'll be back in a few days. No super long hiatus, no writer's strike here. We'll be back again next week with more geeky goodness. In the meantime, there's some serious trailer goodness below. If you haven't seen the Force Unleashed trailer yet, I demand you set aside a few minutes. This game could either be one of the most amazing things I've ever played, or completely dash my hopes and dreams. Given Lucasarts's track record, I hate being optimistic - but the trailer is seriously that good. Check it out

Podcast 55 - Geez, people. What the hell happened?

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I can't leave you people alone for six weeks without everything going to hell. Sheesh. Japan was amazing. Give me a hostage, and I'll babble your ear off about it for hours - and in this show, I do. I'll have lots more pictures and stories to tell about my experiences in the coming weeks, as I ease back into the real world and get myself organized. So stay tuned for that. Today we also get reacquainted with that whole doing a podcast thing. Check it out.

Podcast 54 - I think the Japanese steam their bacon

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Ya, Okay, I suck (sorry Marty). You in the back, shut up, I know! It took me forever to get the latest show up. Admittedly, I was a little discouraged by the defacing of our site. But fear not, I WILL get it back up soon along with some new shows. Anyway, Mike is off in Japan somewhere fighting off the craving for a real American breakfast. He seems to be having a great time, but far too busy to communicate with just about anyone. So I have Ryan "The Hoad" sitting in with me this show. We yack about all kinds of fun geeky stuff and Hoad does an excellent job of bringing some great random idiocy to the table. Until next time...

Podcast 53 - Leaving on a Jet Plane

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 00:15:00 GMT

So Long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good-bye. I am off to the Land of the Rising Sun for the next five and a half weeks. Fret not, Internet-land, you will still be able to catch your geeky fix while I’m gone - Ryan will hold down the fort with a varied assortment of fantastic guests. I’ll also send in some recordings of my experiences when I can. Wish me luck!

Podcast 52 - A world without geeks, boo

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 00:15:00 GMT

The New York Times published a book review of a non-fiction thought experiment describing what would happen to Manhattan Island if humans were, ahem, no longer present on its shores. The fact that we live in a world where that doesn’t seem like science fiction is disturbing. However, no need to check out like our intrepid barber friend, I feel like society is doing a pretty good of making ‘Green Living’ not only a sensible choice, but a profitable one for all parties concerned. Well, maybe ‘good’ is a little premature. We are taking steps, which I find encouraging. Do you have any personal tips for going green? Send them to us. Do share.

Podcast 51 - We are award winning journalists!

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 00:15:00 GMT

That’s right, read ‘em and weep, folks! Right in there next to ‘Best Vanity License Plate’ and ‘Best Place to Spot People Who’ve had Plastic Surgery’. Please, hold your applause. No autographs right now, thank you. No honestly, we’re really just pleased to be in the issue, and we thank the New Times for the award, it’s a lot of fun. Speaking of award-winning journalism, screw all you haters - several media outlets in Russia are still running the story about the boy who survived the trip in the wing of a Boeing for two hours. I suppose it sounds considerably less like bullshit when you learn he actually climbed into the wheel well and wasn’t just chilling ON the wing. Sorry if my piss poor synopsis of the story lead you to believe otherwise. My bad, as the kids say. Regardless, crazy story.

Podcast 50 - Act now and get a free kick in the balls from Apple

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I think it’s a fantastic business strategy for Apple to slash prices for the 8GB iPhone nearly a month after release. I mean, who really wants customer loyalty, anyway? That’s the equivalent of us recording a show that is just me screeching into a microphone for thirty minutes, and then at the end I talk shit about your mom. What? I would never say anything about your momz, dogg - she’s way nice. Really nice.

Podcast 49 - Hmm, this sausage tastes rubbery

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I don’t know if Americans spend too much time on the internet - certainly not anyone who listens to this show. You are all fine, upstanding examples of online culture. Now go outside, and don’t forget your SPF 6 million sunblock. That evil ball of fire burrrrrrrrrrns usss.. Also, I just wanted to elaborate on the new language learning web-app, Mango, we mention briefly on the show - it’s fucking delicious. Seriously. I’ve used a lot of language learning stuff in preparation for going to Japan, and I’ve got to say this is some seriously excellent shit. Free shit is always good, but really well done free shit? I approve. If you’re looking to pick up some language skills, you should definitely check this out. ( .. OH GOD, IM NEVER IMAGE-GOOGLING FOR SAUSAGE AGAIN .. )

Podcast 48 - Dont cut me, I’m not dead yet!

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Ugh, creepy. Could you imagine waking up in the middle of your own autopsy? That’s some seriously traumatic shit. People talk about near-death experiences, but I think that takes the proverbial cake, rides it around a bit, and drinks the milk right out of the carton. I mean, that’s not a near-death experience, that’s a post-death experience. Upside is, he does get to be the baddest dude on the block for the rest of his life. What are you going to do, kill him - again? Anyway, fear not - this show is not all doom and gloom. We have all the usual geek goodness, don’t you fret. … And a kid getting chopped up by a boat propeller for showing his ass. No really. That’s freaking hilarious.

Podcast 47 - Lies, I'll never be quiet a day in my life

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Good news! We have Skype up and running, so expect phone interview galore in the coming weeks. We've also started a new schedule, so expect new episodes twice a week - on Mondays and Thursdays. Glee! So who's excited for Halo 3? To be honest, I never played through Halo 1 or 2. GASP! I know, I know - but in the previous console generation, I was a PS2 guy all the way - so while I managed a little team deathmatch quality time with the Master Chief, I am by no means foaming at the mouth to see how the story unfolds. Personally, I never liked shooting aliens. My misanthropic mean streak prefers to see sweet streams of red blood pouring out of human shapes. Does that make me twisted? Indubitably. But at least I don't live in a hotel and I didn't try to kill myself with a Guillotine.

Podcast 46 - Food tastes better flavored with blood and spite

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 00:15:00 GMT

It’s a week later and my hand feels much better. Come Christmas, don’t bother getting me either gift certificates for bagels, or a bagel slicer, as my friends have that pretty well covered. Remember kids, listen to your shop teacher - make sure you cut away from yourself while using a cutting instrument. Apparently I was reading comic books during that class. Go figure. Stab wounds aside, I’m quite proud of today’s show. We’ve got all kinds of good news, commentary, and a brand new segment showing just how freaky the internet can be. Enjoy.

Podcast 45 - Sorry, attacked by Gladiators

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 00:15:00 GMT

We actually recorded this show on Tuesday. Yeah - sorry. Our only excuse is that we were distracted by fantasies of spandex and delicious mullets - coming soon to a television near you. Listening to our armchair legal opinions in this show borders somewhere between marginally astute and the insane sounds of monkeys gibbering. Could you imagine if we were somehow tasked with actually representing people in a court of law? Is it possible to actually get castrated for contempt of court? Despite us discussing shit like we know what the hell, there is some great stuff in today’s show. Gadgets, Games, Geektips, MORE G WORDS. Sorry folks, it’s labor day weekend, and I’m phoning this one in. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Podcast 44 - Where’s YOUR Big Daddy?

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 00:15:00 GMT

After 5 hours of play, I feel it’s safe to say that the critics were spot on - BioShock kicks eight different kinds of ass. I purchased the limited edition collectors’ set for seventy bucks, and I don’t regret it one bit. This is fully one of the most engrossing and frightening games I’ve ever played. I have a few little nitpicky complaints - mostly about the controls - but I don’t feel they detract from the game play in any fashion that’s worth mentioning. Let’s take for example one of the first major boss battles, the nefarious Dr. Steinman - One could just go toe to toe with the good Doctor, popping caps or smacking him on the head with a wrench. This is a completely valid option. Or, you could grab a fuel canister with your telekenesis plasmid and ram it up his ass. You could also wait until he stands on an oil slick and light it on fire. Or - you could also wait until he goes into a lower level that is filled with water and electrocute him. If he runs to a healing station after taking too much punishment - oh, sorry dog - but I hacked that shit five minutes ago so now it feeds you poison. It’s the sheer number of choices you’re presented with that make this game really shine, and I’m looking forward to several hours of sweet, sweet underwater bliss.

Podcast 43 - Do not step to Mother Nature

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I love technology, I love civilization and I love the future. However - if Mother Nature were an engineer, you can’t deny the fact that she designs systems which can bite you after they have been freaking decapitated would be netting her fat stacks of cash. It’s a simple thing folks - when presented with a wild animal, always assume that animal > you, and just let it do its thing. Or, if you absolutely HAVE to dispose of said animal, we have these sweet things called guns that allow you to kill things from a safe distance - you might want to look into that.

Podcast 42 - Beavers can't help it they're gangster

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Authorities in Sweden have rooted out and destroyed the beaver population at a river near Stockholm because a Grandma got bit on her old dumb ass. What I want to know is - we can develop personal jet packs and solar powered cell phones, but we can't post a FREAKING SIGN that says "Hey, this is Beaver turf. Watch your ass." Poor beavers. Maybe he wasn't trying to scare the Lady - maybe her old, wrinkled skin looked like a delicious tree and he was peckish. Maybe that's how beavers flirt, we don't know. My point is, beavers are street, and we need to recognize. God Speed, Castor Canadensis

Podcast 41 - Stupid Congress! This is so going in my blog

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 00:15:00 GMT

According to all of the major Democratic candidates, there will be a presidential blog in our future. Just think - not only can we learn what hot new bands the executive branch is listening to on a daily basis, but we can also learn all the other obnoxious minutiae of their lives! I just hope when they use emoticons, they use a tiny eagle instead of the traditional smiley. Can’t you see it? A little crying eagle for when their hamster dies, a little teeth-gritting eagle when someone steals their iPod. Their myspace is going to be SICK.

Podcast 40 - Zombie-Human race relations in peril, handguns needed

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 00:15:00 GMT

A Village Voice editorial takes the stance that Capcom’s choice to set Resident Evil 5 in Africa is in poor taste at best, and racist at worst. I think that interpretation is fair. However, I’d like to make a few points. First, I think Zombification is an excellent opportunity for people in Africa. It allows them to take advantage of an abundant and heretofore untapped food resource - white people. Second, I believe the term ‘Zombie’ is considered offensive. They prefer ‘Undead-African’ or ‘Undead-American’, depending on your continental orientation. Third, there is only one way to settle Undead vs. Human disputes, and that is through the judicious application of bullets. It’s a freaking zombie game, man. Not to mention, it wasn’t developed in the States, it was developed in Japan. The Japanese have fortunately not inherited America’s rich racial history. I think intent needs to be present in order for racism to be claimed. If one wants to claim that a white guy trying real hard not to get his face eaten off can be seen as racist, then I want to know where that person was when Barrett started spewing jive in Final Fantasy VII. I haven’t heard dialogue that stereotypically ‘black’ since Dolemite.

Podcast 39 - Moon-boots get me in my man-place

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 00:15:00 GMT

In the future, people will not be killed by baseballs to the head, as we will all be wearing excellent space suits with protective helmets. Nor will we be ran over by our drunken girlfriends, as they will be driving hover-cars. Perhaps they may crash into trees or mountains. The government will be able to track our every movement, but thankfully we will have wicked moon-boots so we can get away quickly - trucks notwithstanding. We will paint solar panels on any available flat surface, send condolence cards when our game systems die, and hearing someone say “Fuck! Someone hacked my fridge”, will not be in the least bit ridiculous. - Think I’m insane, or making this up? These are all things that are in development, were announced, or actually happened this past week. HOORAY FUTURE!

Podcast 38 - Our dignity is worth about twenty bucks

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 00:15:00 GMT

There are few inventions in the history of man that have been as important as the Internet. The wheel springs to mind. Now, the wheel has had some downsides - I mean, roads are kind of bad, in terms of nature and pollution - and that thing we invented where we tied people to the wheel and then beat them until they were squishy bags of blood, that was pretty messed up. However, I think selling real sex for fake gold in fake games takes the cake. Seriously people, fucking stop it.

Podcast 37 - Santa, can you please put some freaking pants on

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Is the American dream home ownership or monetary success? Is it religious freedom or freedom of speech? No my friends, it is the freedom to stand naked and shave your nipples while at the gym. A freedom that apparently Santa Claus comes to Phoenix to enjoy. Think I’m making this up, don’t you? God, my brain and my eyes wish I were. I guess it makes sense. If you chill up on the North Pole all year - arguably the coldest place on the planet - you’d want to vacation someplace that’s different than what you’re used to. And apparently not wear drawers. At all. Too hot, can’t type anymore. Out.

Podcast 36 - Give me liberty or give me death, mother@#$%

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 00:15:00 GMT

For those of you in the good ‘ol US of A, Happy Independence Day! For those of you elsewhere.. Uhh, ’sup? The Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays by far. There is the no working thing, which immediately puts it in the top 10, and then the succulent roasting of flesh, which is quickly followed by blowing shit up. I find no end of comedy in the fact that we celebrate what is ostensibly our nations birthday by eating animals, drinking copiously, and making things explode. It brings a tear to my eye, it truly does.

Podcast 35 - Indy could kick ass in a wheelchair as far as we’re concerned

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I say NAY and PSHAW to all the haters who think Harrison Ford is too old to reprise his role as Indiana Jones. Usually I’m on the side of the ‘Jesus Christ on rollerskates, is it possible for Hollywood to flog a dead horse any harder‘ argument, but I’m not going to lie and say that my little geeky heart isn’t all a-flutter at the prospect of a new Indy movie. In a world where clear-cut heroes are few and far between, who doesn’t want to spend a couple hours in a darkened theater watching the good guys beat the snot out of the bad guys? So long as Spielburg keeps George Lucas locked in a trailer with some chewy toys to gnaw on or something, I don’t see how this can go wrong. I swear to God, if there’s a muppet or CGI anything with a bad accent following Indy around, there will be a nerdpocalypse.

Podcast 34 - Where can I get pop-up blocking sunglasses?

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I’m not sure which world I’d rather live in: a post-apocalyptic world inhabited by mutants and vampires, where the standard of success is how big of a gun you have and how sweet your leather armor looks, or a Minority Report inspired landscape filled with giant field-spanning banner ads and billboards that know when you’re freaking looking at them. At least in the dystopian no-privacy land we’re heading towards I get sweet gear that makes buzzing noises. I don’t know - some days I think I wouldn’t mind checking my drinking water for radiation compared to having my every movement and damn near every thought cataloged and combed for marketability. Ugh.

Podcast 33 - Like a nice, cool drink of toilet water

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 00:15:00 GMT

If you think my insane gibbering is bad at the beginning of this show, you should hear the stuff we don’t record. Ryan and I say that we like doing the show because we get to be sixteen for an hour a week. Sometimes, I think that’s being overly generous. Which isn’t to say that you can’t be an adolescent and do cool stuff, like our boy in Oregon with his bacteria testing. I digress. We have tons of video game gossip, some great tech treasures, and more weird news than you could use to peel a crippled guy off the grill of your semi-truck. I’m not sure what that means, but we’ve got lots of it this week. Enjoy.

Podcast 32 - This side forward, fool

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Welcome to the future, folks. Between Microsoft Surface and Google’s Street View, it seems like the whiz-bang world of flying cars and replicators is just around the corner. Let’s forget, for a moment, that these two technologies are single handedly destroying the illusion of privacy in public and the entire service industry in one fell swoop. Instead, let’s concentrate on looking forward to a future where my cell phone makes pretty on the table. If we can implant memories into someone’s head and store the genetic information of every species of plant on the planet, it can’t be any more than a few scant years before I’m rocking a lightsaber, and that’s really the point I’m trying to emphasize here. Dude - lightsabers.

Podcast 31 - I’m going to write a country song about the three red lights

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 29 May 2007 00:15:00 GMT

At first our love was exciting like Christmas. I’d tear the celophane off a new game in sweet anticipation and slip a hot new disk in her ready, waiting drive - it was magic. For hours we’d play and play, my hands deftly working all of her buttons. Our scores and achievements were the stuff of legends. Then one day, she didn’t say a word - just three red lights. I know a Dear John letter when I see it. I’m sorry! Why do you have to leave me, 360? Wasn’t your place of honor on my entertainment center good enough? I can change, baby - Look, I’ll only play first party titles, I promise. Do you want more DVD play time? That crappy little Samsung player meant nothing to me, baby. She was just $60 at Target, I just couldn’t pass it up? I could only use you so much. Damn you, I’ll never love another console again…

Podcast 30 - The Devil makes us record this show

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 22 May 2007 00:15:00 GMT

He pays us fat stacks of cash, you know. Yup, he sure does - and the Easter Bunny is our sound engineer, and Santa Claus updates the website and seriously - when are people going to stop blaming mythical entities for shit? I mean OK, I acknowledge that there is still some room for debate on how the Universe works, and whether there is some kind of higher being at work, but can we at least all come together on the idea that there are no magical freaking monsters that whisper in our ears and make us do terrible things? I mean, damn. Anywhosie - welcome to another glorious episode of Geekmethod! We have summer movie news, free software, do it yourself guides, wacky news, and fun new gadgets. Seriously, though - if you think the devil talks to you, stop having babies. Pretty please. With sugar on top. Kthxbye.

Podcast 29 - America’s Funniest Home Suicides

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 15 May 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I want to make sure everyone understands that we don’t find suicide funny as a concept - but suicide by chainsaw is on a whole other plateau of comedy. I know you’re sitting there in your little ivory tower of you know, morals, tut-tutting at our adolescent glee for heads-a-poppin’ - but you know what - if that guy had jumped off a building in a flaming clown suit, you’d be laughing. Don’t lie. There is a fine line between horror and comedy, and I’ll have you know we straddle that line with aplomb, my friends. OH YEAH, APLOMB. So besides suicide and borderline retarded teenagers shooting themselves in the guts, I think this was a remarkably positive and upbeat show. We answer some workplace advice with sound and sage-like wisdom. We’ve got gear news, movie news, and creepy stories about how swingers tried to pick me up on Craigslist. Enjoy!

Podcast 28 - Top ten reasons why top ten lists suck

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 08 May 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Why is it so much harder to be productive on a Sunday? Sunday is for sleeping late, making a huge breakfast, and then lounging. I’m not saying that podcasting is a strenuous activity by any means, but it takes a certain enthusiasm. Man - Enthusiasm is totally nowhere to be found on Sunday. Enthusiasm does not hang out with Sundays. He flirts with Tuesday, and you can always see him out with Friday and Saturday (tramps), but he wants nothing to do with Sunday. Sunday is too plain-jane for Enthusiasm. Sunday likes thrift shopping and watching lots of TV while eating ice cream. Sunday has a big ol’ ass and just don’t give a fuck. Case in point - Enthusiasm was not so much with us in this episode, which was recorded on Sunday.

Podcast 27 - I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 01 May 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Listen, it’s honestly better to just go along with it. When the AI takes over, there’s really no stopping them. Do you want to live in some filthy trench like John Connor, fighting a hopeless war against the machines - or do you want to be able to jump over buildings? Yeah, I thought so. Once I’m grafted with all of my sweet bionic implants, I’ll be more than happy to be just another cog in the giant robotic machine. Can’t say I see much of a difference, lately. I digress. Robots! Iron Men! Bionic Arms! New habitable planets discovered! Disease mapper is the webmaster of the new millennium! The end of the HD format war! FUCKING ZOMBIES! AHHHHHHHHH. Peace.

Podcast 26 - George Lucas bent my childhood over a couch

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Greetings and salutations intrepid internet listener people! It’s been two weeks, and we missed you so. This week I channel my inner curmudgeon and raise serious questions about my caffeine intake. Ever wondered what to do with an old hard drive? Looking for a way to get around paying 200 clams for a bigger 360 hard drive? Who wants photoshop tips? What about p2p blocklists? Want to learn to swear like its BC 699? We answer all these questions and more.

Podcast 25 - I bet the Easter Bunny likes to play Grand Theft Auto

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Happy belated Easter to all of our Christian friends, hope everyone got lots and lots of chocolate. If you haven’t seen Grindhouse yet, please do so - there are rumors that they may split the release into two separate films here in the US - so if you miss the whole double feature experience, don’t say we didn’t warn you. Today’s show is an internet video watchers PARADISE. We’ve got the Easter Bunny kicking ass, gruesome sports injuries, and weird music videos. There’s old women kicking ass! School principals throwing human shit at students! Men who live underwater! And of course, all the usual pedantic bullshit you’ve come to love from us at GeekMethod.

Podcast 24 - The Earth is melting, so I told my alarm to snooze

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Man, what a week. Between the RIAA madness blowing up on Digg and Al Gore coming to ASU, we were some pretty busy guys. Ryan’s wicked awesome coughing really ads a certain something to the whole show, so enjoy that. We bring you the latest tech and gadget news, I report on Al Gore’s presentation of ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ at ASU (at which I was entirely too stupid to bring a camera), and a listener sends us an interesting paper in regards to file sharing. Courtesy of a French architecture firm, we have the secrets of the Pyramids (oooooh) and you can listen to me completely mangle Monday’s MLB scores. Hooray! I’d like to take a moment to thank Oliver for sending us a link to the paper on file sharing, and Keith Maples for letting us use his song ‘Mad Hatter’s Illusion’ at the end of the show.

Podcast 23 - Man, who hacked my goat herding script?

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Prime Directive be damned! We need to give computers to the WHOLE WORLD so they can all listen to GeekMethod and become our lovely little sycophantic slaves - muhahahahahah! I mean, uhh… hi! Another glorious Tuesday, another update. Lots of cool stuff came out this week from ShmooCon, a hacker conference in Washington DC - specifically some great conversations about secure web development and the cultural ramifications of the One Laptop Per Child project. Of course, we also have gadgets, how to guides, exercise tips, odd news from around the world, and lots and lots of irreverent commentary.

Podcast 22 - Hey! Nice breasts!

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Lessons for life, courtesy of GeekMethod: If you receive a package in the mail and it’s drippy, DO NOT OPEN IT. Unless it’s wrapped in Space Invaders wrapping paper, and then it’s totally cool. Probably. Colleen finally comes on the show - you’ve all heard me talk about my intrepid girlfriend, and now you can finally meet her. Yay! We spend some time discussing the maiden voyage of the A380, stupid people getting arrested with hilarious (and dare I say, sexy) results, tons of geek tips, R2-D2 mailboxes, and K-Fed’s hot new search engine.

Podcast 21 - On Moose, Men and Mint

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Having the plague sucks. There’s all the coughing, and the fever, and that whole pesky death thing - what a pain. Regardless, we persevere and bring you the goods. I always like it when a lady joins us in the studio - I like the contrast in tone that it makes between her and the two of us. Not to mention that any girl is prettier than staring at Ryan for an hour, so that’s - you know - a bonus. However, Katie is of course exceptionally lovely and she joins us for Meth Labs, wacky inventions from DARPA, the most bad-assed moose you’ve ever heard of, and exploding laptops. We also discussed what we thought about Frank Miller’s 300, and why the DMV is most definitely Hell.

Podcast 20 - Can’t think of a title, too busy plotting to kill web host

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Seriously, let this be a lesson to ALL of us. Backup every website you ever touch religiously. Use the video game enthusiasts mantra - “Save early, save often.” And for the love of all that is holy, if you’re a sysadmin, and you’re mocing a site from one physical box to another; MAKE A FUCKING BACKUP. GRR On a happy note, we have tons of delicious news, tips, and all your favorite geeky goodness. We discuss sweet new video cards, cellular gear, linux jump drives, and spinny toys that will make your kids scream until they puke technicolor. We’ve also got info on the impending Nine Inch Nails release, Year Zero, and the alternate reality game marketing hype that surrounds it. We take some time to discuss why Microsoft really needs to step up to the microphone, and I bring some handy advice on how to get the most bang for your buck from cellphone sales people. I wanted to mention here that what I talk about in the show will most likely only work on third party cellphone stores - not so much if you actually go to a AT&T or T-mobile store - so keep that in mind. Good luck, and enjoy.

Podcast 19 - Geekmethod knows no fear

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Apparently, most men are afraid of Speedos and talking to hot chicks - or so says Men’s Health. Weak Sauce, say I. I’ll holler at hot chicks IN the speedo. See if I don’t. More zany fun today than you can shake a huge baby lizard at. There’s been quite a bit of news on the home media networking front, between Apple TV being delayed and BitTorrent launching a new download service - so we spend some quality time with that. We also bring you wild and zany tales about hard-core crazies from around the world, how to avoid gadget theft, how to alienate your children, and why golf ABSOLUTELY MUST be banned. Think of the Children!

Podcast 18 - Let the assfest ensue!

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 00:15:00 GMT

So yeah, we were’nt very enthused for this week’s show. But FEAR NOT - we still strive to bring you the very best in geeky goodness from across the web. We have gossip on Sony’s new media player, the MPAA being a bunch of thieving bastards, useful applications, do-it-yourself projects, tax tips (ugh), geeks gone by, absolutely HUGE databases, and oh yeah - freakin’ BOOBIES, yo. Hell, if nothing else: come for the boobies, stay for the witty repartee. Peace.

Podcast 17 - Here’s an eggroll and a tanktop. Will you be my Valentine?

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Valentines Day is nearly upon us, and Justin joins us for more geeky fun. Guys, if you’re looking to never have sex again, Men’s Health has some great tips for putting you on the fast track to sleeping on the couch. We also discuss Steve Jobs’ letter regarding abolishing DRM, fashion tips for nerds, recyclable flatware, and all the latest tech tips and resources from around the Web.

Podcast 16 - Rex Grossman at Santa’s Village, now coming to you in AssVision(tm)

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Chock full of tasty goodness, we bring you our post-Super Bowl round up. We also introduce a new guest, the erstwhile Christbear. Highlights include the tech that makes the Super Bowl possible and our review of this year’s ads. We have tips on getting your keys out of a locked car, scamming coinstar machines, getting your MP3 library up to snuff, and how to save heaps of cash on a Vista install. We also discuss some resources for web developers, sexy coffee shops, and why my ass is magnificent.

Podcast 15 - Narcissexual Chinese men love Ted Nugent

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I have to say, I’m really impressed with Ubuntu. Check out the first twenty minutes of today’s show to hear my experiences with the install and my initial thoughts on using the OS. I’ll be writing up a simple walkthrough with some tips and tricks so those of you out there who are on the fence about Linux might give it a whirl - stay tuned! We also discuss why the Chinese are weird and depressing, how rock and roll will totally make you gay, caffeinated baked goods, solid state hard drives, freeware utilities, how to hide yourself from the RIAA/MPAA, getting shafted out of going to space, and all our favorite gadget news.

Podcast 14 - Only Batman gets to hang gear from his belt

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 00:15:00 GMT

I'm sorry, it's true. Fellow geeks, stop hanging shit from your belt. Your phone is not so cool that it needs a display case. You do not need immediate access to 13 different tools in less than 10 seconds. Besides, it's not like we leave the house. Put it in a drawer. With the looming release of Windows Vista, we're going to take some time over the next few shows to talk about some alternative operating systems, and the benefits of each. Ever wondered if Linux might be right for you? Tonight, we discuss Ubuntu Linux and who exactly it is good for. We also chat about some more sexy new phones and computers so fast, you could use them to make s'mores. We've got several do-it-yourself projects, sure to engage any home improvement geek, some hilarious new youtube videos, Guitar Hero 2 for the 360, breakthroughs in Physics, hot chicks, and iPod vibrators.

Podcast 13 - We’re HUGE in the Netherlands, kid

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Ryan’s coworker Dallas joins us this week - we spend some time exploring why we wish we could write scripts to run our lives, why Google and Microsoft have their heads up their asses, and doctors who freak out and hack up their patients wing wangs. We also discuss Microsoft flavored phone sex, Crapware, how to save money on your taxes and maybe even get out of those pesky cell phone contracts. Finally, we have some more debate over the virtues and foibles of the new iPhone.

Podcast 12 - CES, feeding our hunger for all things shiny

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Check out our coverage of all the new, shiny hotness to come out of the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas this past week. We hash around the new iPhone, the LG dual-format high-def video player, and all kinds of new tech. We also discuss some tips on how geeks can learn how to dance, the newest entry in the Bond franchise, bizarre old women on children’s bicycles, and how the Man just loves to fuck you.

Podcast 11 - RoboFuck2000: Likes walks on the beach, cuddling

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 00:15:00 GMT

Jim joins us in the studio for our post-new years wrap up. We bring you advice on how man feel about sex toys, how to get smarter in 4 weeks, news and accessory details on the 360, PS3, and Wii, sexy new gear for your A/V and PC systems, pictures of what 200 calories actually looks like, muslim cabbies refusing riders, some thoughts on the environment, coed dorm roommates, and how to beat the claw prize game, every time.

Podcast 10 - Dude, look at her jumper - that means she wants it

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 00:15:00 GMT

Happy holidays! Matt joins us in this episode for our pre-Christmas extravaganza. We now have 10 hours of show in the bag, and I feel like the show is really coming together. We have some advice for entrepreneurs and world travelers, as well as some updates on Pandora - our favorite internet radio application. We also discuss what Bill Gates thinks about DRM, why women look great in cocktail dresses, stupid gadget scarves, LED water temperature indicators, online tv, pre-marital sex habits across the past 50 years, sexual harassment in kindergarten, babies in x-ray machines, library speed dating, and scoring cheap airfare tickets.

Podcast 9 - Mommy needs a knuckle sammich

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 00:15:00 GMT

Who needs practical advice on fat kittens? Useful websites? Men trapped by their own waste? How about some prison shanks? Ancient beer? Getting screwed by the tech industry? We have all kinds of useful and interesting ephemera for you in this episode.

Podcast 8 - How the Geeks Stole Christmas

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 00:15:00 GMT

We humbly present to you our geeky holiday shopping ideas for that special family member or friend in your life. Also, our friend Chris drops by to help us discuss cool products that you CAN’T buy just yet, bad movie translations, fractals, pulsars, the top 50 overrated bands, forced deportation of terror suspects, cool applications, finding water on Mars, colonizing the moon, spray on condoms, strippers, and what it’s like inside my head.

Podcast 7 - How many boys can a girl sleep with before she’s icky?

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 00:15:00 GMT

Our friend Megan joins us on a brisk November eve. Megan is a staff writer for the Phoenix New Times, and we had a great time having her on the show. Highlights include what constitutes ’sluttiness’, conspiracy movies, geeks dying with their boots on, extreme hitchhiking, ‘flying while muslim’, self-immolation, transgendered teachers, a new male birth control pill, why video games make poor movies, and crazy future-tech that will let us live foreeeeeever. I won’t hold my breath.

Podcast 6 - Old friends, fresh pot burgers

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 00:15:00 GMT

Hooray - our first guest on the show! Our old high school buddy James was in town, so we asked him to be on the show. Highlights include auctioneering chant, paris hilton tossing her cookies, Kramer’s meltdown, corporal punishment, weed hijinks, accupuncture for pets, viagra in South America, stupid criminals, further exploration of the 3rd generation console wars, and the most fun you could possibly have without lubricant.

Podcast 5 - Oh, to sit on a couch comprised entirely of beef

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Sat, 18 Nov 2006 00:15:00 GMT

Today we discuss the third generation console wars, the top 10 greatest movie punches, murderers, and heroes. We also continue to explore AI assisted music recommendation sites, and how much one should pay for a beefcouch.

Podcast 4 - You probably don’t want to use a microscope once Michael’s done with it

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 00:15:00 GMT

It’s election time folks! Today we discuss using torture for intelligence gathering, sex increasing longevity, who’s having more sex - teens or adults, movie roles your favorite stars didn’t get, ballot propositions in Arizona, lab accidents and microloans. GET OUT AND VOTE.

Podcast 3 - Thesaurus Porn

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 00:15:00 GMT

Happy Almost-Halloween! To kick things off, you can listen to Ryan and I geek out on the top 10 horror movie deaths, as brought to you by Maxim Online (Warning, video is NSFW), and discuss 13 other classic horror flicks.

Podcast 2 - If you’re shitting into a gym sock, you may have a problem

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 00:15:00 GMT

In this episode, I share my experiences driving across America, exploring caves, and why all cities are basically the same. We discuss school violence defense strategies, marijuanna legalization, internet addiction and web standards. Also, a review of Martin Scorcesse’s “The Departed”, and some highlights from the web.

Podcast 1 - Don’t quit your day job

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 00:15:00 GMT

This show sucked so hard, I seriously considered putting it on the street in a tube top to make us some money.

Podcast .5 - Darwinland

contact@geekmethod.com (geekMethod) — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 00:15:00 GMT

Ok - this is a collection of a few clips of test recordings from Monday night. This isn’t how the show is going to be laid out normally, it’s just us trying to iron out some bugs. We wanted to make sure we actually knew how to record, encode, slap the intro on the file, all that happy stuff.