Fighters

Discontinuing this blog

2009-12-30T08:57:00.005+05:30

With new year, I have one announcement, I am moving this blog to a new address, so I am discontinuing this blog from now on, further blog posts will be at the address, www.geekybuddha.org

I wanted to make a central place for all my online feeds, updates, so I took this decision. This blog has been a great success for me. I started it more than 2 years back, since than it has been a place for me to share my thoughts. I am grateful to all my readers who read it, posted comments and encouraged me to write more. I will continue to write on my new blog, hope that I will get similar response there, good luck to all and a very happy new year.

Thoughts!

2009-10-05T17:06:00.003+05:30

While I am writing here, I am not feeling much good, my problem is that I can't be same for more than 2-3 days, I become all totally a different person! It become even tougher for me to recognize myself! Internally it become even more tough! Though I have become little better in last few months, but still I need to become little more better! You don't know, how tough it become to handle someone totally strange to you! And even tougher it become to complete the task someone different you started!
Now a days I have getting very different experiences of my life, they can't be categorized in good or bad, they are sweet experiences indeed! I am thankful to someone for making me feel special in some way, and boosting my belief in unconditional bonds! There are few relationships, you can't name them, they are just what they are!
Expression is tough! The toughness is the sweetness! I hate internet sometimes for it is not being able to express the emotions :) Though it make expression easier but I think thats useless in some cases!
Its always better to be on the other side!

I thought I should collect random thoughts in one post, so the numbering!

Being Sakshama through Sakshama

2009-10-04T09:54:00.004+05:30

Writing here after ages, Its gonna be interesting now, We have a college fest called Sakshama, a national level techfest, initiated by our senior AKM when he was in his final year and I was in second year! Sakshama was started with a bang! Was a great start for our college as we didn't have anything as good and as large as it was planned, before. Being in second year you can imagine the amount of excitement I had about the fest! The bad thing is that not many people were as excited as a few of us were! Recalling all that now I feel that it was like starting a small company with something you are passionate about and you feel like doing anything for it. We were a small group of people doing everything, website, posters, events, inviting people, registrations everything was being done by almost 10 of us, four from final year and six from second year! The good thing was the driving force behind all this was pure! We wanted to do something big! During the last days of fest people started coming and joining the team, team grew! It was very pleasant to see! The first edition of the fest taught me so many things that I will carry with myself whole my life! In the first year, I became passionate about entrepreneurship! I had my startup in my mind all the time, Sakshama 797 helped me living that dream! During the three days of fest, everything went so well that! It was an effort worth millions!

And Then came the next version of Sakshama called Sakshama X08! My role changed! from a newbie doing everything I become into the technical stuff! Again learnt a lots of things! Ah! I remember how things changed! Now sakshama had a proper office, computers, internet, huge team and a big budget lots of people to plan, lots of ideas to implement the common thing between the 797 and X08 was that we had same passion, we the group of people from third year now had bigger responsibilities this time and yes we had better knowledge this time. I remember spending nights alone in Sakshama Chamber doing website stuff, planning , carving ideas with the same passion and the thing that I learnt from X08 was hard work, I used that in my life and achieved so many things! There were few bad experiences as well, especially they occur when things get popular everyone tries to get the maximum benefit from it, so unwanted people got attracted, but that's natural, there was always a balance between good and bad, and good always dominated! The experience of 797 helped us plan things easily, the glory of 797 attracted crowd with lesser efforts, we had a good budget now, good resources, good team so everything eventually went well in the end!

I am now in final year, again we have Sakshama this year called Generation Next! Being in final year , priorities changed, we have so many things in mind! And its Generation next so I always wanted that next generation should handle everything this time! But I guess not everyone was amused by this, so I am again in the team, doing same old stuff! And obviously its now easy to do those things! GN09 is huge now, we have the largest team almost 500 people this time in the team, budget is huge, the culture we started in college is now growing, students are passionate about Sakshama, everyone is coming with ideas and ways to implement them, its exactly what I wanted to happen when I was in first year and its now happening! I should be happy!

The old thing is happening to Sakshama, Sakshama is again teaching me lessons of my life, It showed me where need to improve in my life! I will keep this experience with me in my mind if I ever start something of my own!

This is the time when a college like ours can choose if it really wants to be in the bigger league or just remain in the B grade college, the mind set of students is changing, but nothing seems to be changing in the administration and here is the danger that things can turn to the wrong side!

I am no one to advice anyone but the love for my college and love for the things we have done for it makes me write this that if we can model something on the system used in IITs or such premier institute and turn this energy in the right path I am sure we can do wonders! I know its not anyone's headache to take care of this matter, things will be better with time, but isnt it like making things better by ruining life of 4-5 batches, not everyone is capable of taking care of their life like few of us can do. Why it happens that reformation become so tough even knowing that college can grow only if students grow and growth of college will make all things even better, doesn't everyone like to be recalled for good things? It's sad that everyone likes to be in the position he/she is,

Sometimes I feel that isnt it possible that college become a place that everyone likes to be there always, only one person can do this and that person is I dont know why keeping his eyes closed? It's not just about the college, its about anything, office should be the place everyone likes to be in, home should be the place everyone likes to be in.

Its damn frustrating that at the place where we are investing four most important years of our life, is giving us such bad experiences that we start thinking that life is like this. Why we all selfish people become so blind when it comes to our own lives and lives of our children and future of our country ? It's the conditioning of mind that is being set in these four years make this country what it is today!

If I were the principal of this college or any other such engineering college, the very moment I get the power, I will have a meet with all students, for a week or so! It would not cost anything and it will not harm anyone and yet it will do wonders! I will give people a second chance! A students body! A teachers body! This is what there should be!

Its important to make students stay in college, stop thinking about future and live in present!

Anyways! just random thoughts! came from nowhere!

Getting back to blogging

2009-08-19T08:37:00.002+05:30

what should i write, life is good! Just completed my summer of code, for those who don't know, I was selected for Google Summer of Code 2009, for Sahana. Result of final evaluation are yet to to come, I am quite excited about it. Would post more soon. This post is to break the ice. I need to blog more! See you soon.

तेरा चेहरा

2009-06-18T15:45:00.002+05:30

तेरा चेहरा पता नहीं क्यूँ?
तेरा चेहरा पता नहीं, सच में क्यूँ?
हर पल रहता है मेरे ख्यालों में,
पता नहीं सच में क्यूँ?

जब में कुछ नहीं करता हूँ,
तो समझो सोचता रहता हूँ,
तेरे बारे में, पता नहीं क्यूँ?

और जब मैं सोचता हूँ
की क्या सोचता हूँ तेरे बारे
में तो पता नहीं चलता क्या
सोचता हूँ तेरे बारे में।

सच में अगर कोई पूछ ले
कैसी दिखती हो?
पता नहीं मुझे।
क्यूँ इतनी अच्छी लगती हो,
ऐसा क्या है तुममें,
मैं कभी नहीं बता पाऊँगा।

ये भी नहीं पता की तुम वही
हो जो मैं सोचता हूँ, या नहीं?
पर जानना भी नहीं चाहता।

बस ये पता है की क्यूँ
नहीं जानना चाहता?
शायद मुझे डर लगता है,
किस बात का, ये नहीं पता।

From the letter

2009-05-02T10:09:00.002+05:30

Another excerpts from *the letter* I am yet to give :(

"I close my eyes, I see a large pool filled with colored water and I am hanging above it with head towards the pool, I fell into it, get wet and colored, the rope
pull me back out of the pool and then put me again into it, like somebody is
aggressively putting me in pool, I open my eyes, I am sitting in room writing
this, I close my eyes this time the pool is filled with boiling what and again I
fell into it, the to and fro motion, I open my eyes, I am sitting here, again I close
my eyes this time the pool is filled with mud, and again I fell into it, then it
throws me out of it, I fell in sand and I am still smiling. Looks like its just my
imagination. But it may be symbolizing something. The last scene, my smiling
face made me fearless"

Thank you!

2009-05-02T09:57:00.006+05:30

It is going to be a very quick post, I am in a hurry but still want to write this post, certainly lots of things are going on in my life but I am not writing anything about them these days anywhere, I will soon start writing about them in my blogs, for now I am here to share something that is nothing, seriously! Don't know how to write nothing, so writing something that visualize nothing! :D

Lets write something! I am here to say thanks to few people! who influenced my life in a very positive manner, I don't get influenced very easily.Thank you very much! I am not writing their names here, but I am saying thanks from the deep of my heart!

Thanks again

From a letter

2009-04-24T09:31:00.005+05:30

I am writing a poem from a letter I wrote to someone, few days before, though I couldn't give this letter yet, I want to give it, someday!

गिरता गिरता गिर ही गया

उठने की कोशिश की तो
फिर गिर गया, दरवाजे तक
तो पहुँच गया पर भीतर जाने को न हुआ।

उठता उठता फिर गिर गया
सोचता रहा औरों ने मुझे गिराया है,
पता चला मैं तो खुद ही गिर गया।
शीशे मैं देखा तो दंग रह गया,
न मैं था न मेरा प्रतिबिम्ब था,
अपनी नज़रों से भी गिर गया था मैं
शीशे मैं देखा न मैं था
न मेरा प्रतिबिम्ब था।

रोज रोज वही कहानी दोहराता गया
सुबह को प्रण लेता, रात होते होते
भूल जाता गया। अपनी नाकामी का
इलजाम औरों पे लगाता गया, पता चला
अपना गुनाहगार तो खुद हूँ मैं।

इतना गिरा हूँ की गड्डे में भी
आबाद हूँ शर्म और हया से
अनजान हूँ मैं, मौत भी मुझे
गले न लगायेगी
इसीलिए शायद जिंदा हूँ मैं

Sorry for that

2009-04-22T04:33:00.003+05:30

I want to say sorry to someone, but seems like I may never say sorry , face to face, so by this post I am saying sorry! Please pardon me! This is certainly the lack of courage at my end! I know, this is the high time, now or never! but alas! things are going really fast! really fast! and I can visualize what is going to be the future! I could have write a very different post but I am writing this one at this time, this symbolize anything? Don't know what it symbolizes but surely whatever it is, I can't help it. Sorry once again~

Google!

2009-04-05T10:43:00.004+05:30

क्या करुँ की तुमको खुश कर दूँ
तुम ने बन के रक्त मुझको
जीवन दिया इतना सरल,
इतना सौम्य कोई और नही
बस तुम हो! जीवन के हर
पहलू को तुमने छुआ,

कर दिया एक सपना साकार और
बदल दिया इस दुनिया को
हर किसी को दिया आगे बढने का
मौका जितना कोई सोच न सके
उससे बढ़ कर के दिखाया

हर खोज को कर दिया आसान,
कड़ियों से जुड़े इस मायाजाल
को कर दिया सुलभ सब के लिए।

गूगल तुम हो धन्य तुमको शत
शत नमन करती मेरे मन की मधुशाला।

sleepy

2009-03-27T00:36:00.002+05:30

I am almost sleepy couldn't even type properly but I want to write a post right now, so I am here, I am feeling quite unsecure right now. today i realize thaat for a person like me, who is not used to be personally attached with anybody and who does't care for any body, getting this much attenion can be killing, sometimes I see myself as a spoiled person, sometimes I find myself as split personality and sometimes I find myself as having multiple personality disorder. and really all these are true. yesterday I came from college, entered my room and looked at mirror, for one moment I couldn't recognize myself, yes really. I am very very inconsistence i will continue this post later, right now I am half slept

Everything is alright

2009-03-12T20:36:00.004+05:30

Just 3-4 more months :) listening to these words, it made me curious. What does that mean? I met one of my uncle, yesterday, he is a self made astrologer. He just said these words before we left. nothing more. And I know, its worthless thinking about what that could mean. but first thought that came to my mind was, he may wanted to say that everything gonna be alright in 3-4 months, ha ha! so as if everything is not right, right now? That's not true. Infact I am enjoying the life at fullest, so many things happening altogether. Thats life, without happenings whats life? nothing! so everything is alright right now not 3-4 months laters, this is my prediction and its true.

Do I believe in predictions, astrology? I think to my inner most being, it gives me a little excitement, I don't know why, but I can't deny from that. There can be some truth in these predictions, may be 4-5% but it can give you rays of hope and that can work magically. So I think there is nothing wrong in listening to these predictions and enjoying without worrying about them

तुझसे नाराज़ नहीं जिंदगी हैरान हूँ मैं

2009-03-08T18:10:00.005+05:30

It is like an internal crisis, results are out and starting this post like this tells that all is not well ;) Instead of cursing anything or anybody I am going to put something here for everybody who is in the similar situation, to console everyone like me.

Lets start with Madhushala, as madhu is the best thing considered for the situation like this,

लाल सुरा क धार लपट सी,
कह न इसे देना ज्वाला,
फेनिल मदिरा है मत इसको
कह देना उर का छाला,
दर्द नशा है इस मदिरा का,
विगत स्मृतिया साकी है,
पीड़ा में आनंद जिसे हो
आए मेरी मधुशाला!

Again there are few more very beautiful lines from Madhushala, for everybody who has a good past related to *marks*

एक समय संतुष्ट बहुत था
पा मैं थोडी सी हाला
भोला सा था मेरा साकी
छोटा सा मेरा प्याला
विस्तृत जग में
है गई खो मेरी नन्ही मधुशाला

Now I am providing a list of must listen songs for the situation like this,

तुझसे नाराज़ नहीं ज़िन्दगी हैरान हूँ मैं

2. मेरा जीवन कोरा कागज़ कोरा ही रह गया

3. दुनिया बनाने वाले क्या तेरे मन में समाई

4. ए दिल मुझे ऐसी जगह ले चल जहाँ कोई ना हो

5. तेरी दुनिया मैं दिल लगता नहीं

6. सीने में सुलगते हैं आरमान आंखों में उदासी छाई है

7. ज़िन्दगी देने वाले सुन तेरी दुनिया से जी भर गया है

8. तेरी दुनिया में जीने से तो बेहतर है

These songs are the real help for the situation and helped me a lot consoling myself. :P

Shree Kant c&b Brett Lee 99(46)

2009-03-06T08:38:00.006+05:30

The chance of me getting out on 99 is very very low, why? Am I so confident, I don't get nervous in situations like this or what? ha ha, because I'll never ever reach near 99 :) It takes lots of effort to make 99 runs, and that last one run, that is a marking point, why so? Why we get disappointed if we couldn't make the last one run, instead of celebrating 99 runs, we get deserted! Why so? I think those 99 runs are more important, if I can make them। I'll be happy for 99 runs! but that too is really really tough! another way to see this situation is that the journey is also important not just the destination, if we can make our journey beautiful, we may never regret for not reaching the destination, I am not saying that there is no importance of reaching the destination, but what if we couldn't reach destination? This is when we think about journey, if the journey is worth something we can have a sense of achievement. There is a say in hindi, my cousin used to tell me,

मंजिल मुझे मिले न मिले इसका ग़म नहीं, मंजिल की जुस्तजू में कारवां तो है।

which means, that I am not worried about destination, I am happy that I am on journey along with friends.

I am trying to make my journey of life beautiful, so that I can get out of the fear of reaching destination. For a person like me, who is not very good at anything, but keep trying random things, achieving something solid will be very difficult. So the way I should follow is to take extra care on the process, don't think about outcome, enjoy the journey and see what comes out, it will definitely better, much more than anything I deserve. And caution again, this formula is just for me, as I said in my previous post, there is certainly a formula for success, but there is not a single formula for success, everybody has his/her own formula, all we need to do is pick the formula that is for us, bye for now, no more guru gyan!

live from computer lab..reporting!

2009-03-05T12:15:00.005+05:30

After around one year, I am writing a blog post sitting in college computer lab! It reminds me of days when I used to sit iin college computer labs for hours. Those were the days when I was in first year and I didn't have internet access at hostel room. The spirit was amazingly high during those days. I remember going back to college when others where sleeping in room, during hot winds summer time. I used to surf random things, anything that comes my way and keep digging! Now the scene has changed a little, instead of college computer lab I have internet at my room, and nothing else has change :) just getting a little bit nostalgic.

WOW college computer labs are of some use, still. And we have Red hat installed wow wow! though the internet speed is just above being pity! everything else is fine!

WOW!! Bye for now, its lecture time! ;) Bunking is on the cards though!

Secrets!

2009-03-04T23:05:00.005+05:30

Its been so long since i really wrote something out of my heart, tonight i am little un busy ;) so taking this opportunity to write here. From last couple of weeks I have been trying something new with myself. I am playing a game with myself. The game is to tame myself the way I am. I am learning how to get best work out of myself. I think that if I can learn how to get myself work, I can do wonders. It's not that there is a certain formula for success, even there is one formula for each person. All we need is to pick the formula that is for us, trying someone else' s formula will never lead to any destination.

I have learned that I need to work a little differently and this understanding is doing wonders for me till now. Another secret I would like to share with you all is the "law of attraction", this law is which is governing our life. Everything we get in life is the outcome of what we desired, everything is result of attraction, if we want something to happen, that will surely happen. But the tough thing is that we always try to attract bad things, when we think about something bad not to happen, we are in fact attracting that bad thing and thus that bad thing do occur. So the thing is to not to even think about anything we don't want to be happened. And I have tried this thing may times now, and I can say that this law is 100% true.

I participated in an event at IIT Kanpur and much before the event result I wrote on a paper that I am the winner, and I eventually got 2nd prize!! Amazing the law of attraction really really works!!

Do try it!!

इस दस्त में इक शहर था वो क्या हुआ?

2009-03-02T09:12:00.002+05:30

I am listening to a very very beautiful ghazal by Ghulam ali, and I want to dedicate this post to this ghazal। The ghazal starts with a 'sher' which goes like,

अपनी आवाज़ की लर्जिश पे तो काबू पा लो, प्यार के बोल तो होठों से निकल आते है, अपने तेवर तो सम्भालों की कोई ये न कहे दिल बदलते है तो चेहरे भी बदल जाते है।

I don't remember how many times i have listened this ghazal but still each time i listen to this, it gives me a new meaning. This is the beauty of ghazals, you can get a new meaning every time you listen.

ये दिल ये पागल दिल मेरा क्यूँ बुझ गया, आवारगी, इस दस्त में इक शहर था वो क्या हुआ, आवारगी!

The english translation is impossible, attempting that will be like killing the ghazal। What I could understand from this line is "what had happened to me",

इक अजनबी झोंके ने जब पूछा जब मेरे ग़म का शबब सेहरा की भीगी रेत पे मैंने लिखा, आवारगी।

Then ghulam ali sahab takes us to some other place by just his voice, amazing.

ये दर्द की तन्हाईयाँ, ये दस्त का वीरान सफर, हम लोग तो उकता गए, अपनी सुना, आवारगी, ये दिल ये पागल दिल मेरा, इस दस्त में इक शहर था वो क्या हुआ, आवारगी!

another line, sung magically ,

कल रात तन्हा चाँद को देखा था मैंने ख्वाब में, मोहसिन मुझे रास आएगी शायद सदा आवारगी, इस दस्त में इक शहर था , वो क्या हुआ, आवारगी।

Amazing! Amazing! unparallel! I am stumped! and there are lots of such ghazals by ustad ghulam ali sahab, and I have lots of childhood memories attached with them, which makes them even more special. Thank you Ghulam Ali sahab for giving us such beautiful things~

I am hurt!

2009-02-25T17:16:00.003+05:30

Things are not as simple as they look from outside, and we make them even more complicated. I always believe in not letting anyone feel low because of me, and I really mean that. Even if the person is in a completely wrong thing I try not to feel him embarrass, this is me. And another thing that is I can't believe that anybody can do anything wrong intentionally, I believe that its the situation that makes people do wrong things, I don't know to what extend this is true, but today one of my belief was shattered, so I am now reconsidering these beliefs, I am still wondering how somebody can do like this! yuk yuk yuk! shame on you man! shame! I want to say him something, I recall a very popular dialogue of hindi films,

"Ek baar maang kar to dekhta main, dosti ke liye jaan bhi de deta, par tumne aisa kaam kar ke apne aap ko meri nazaron se gira diya"

So I now believe that not everybody is like atleast me, there are few persons who are even poorer than me. Since I don't think that there is anyone even pittier than me. This incident made me realize that I have to be careful and to not to think that evryone is as he looks like from outside. There is a qawalli sung by Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan,

दोस्तों की शिकायत करुँ मैं
यह भी मुझ को गवारा नहीं है
लोग काँटों से बच क चलते हैं
हम ने फूँलों से ज़ख्म खाए हैं
तुम तो गैरों की बात करते हो
हम ने तो अपने भी आजमाए हैं

दोस्तों की शिकायत करुँ मैं
ये भी मुझ को गवारा नहीं है
दोस्तों ने करम वो किए हैं
जिंदगी की तमन्ना नहीं है

दुनिया में बंदे क खुदा होने
का वक्त आया उन्हें देखा तो
जाहिद नै कहा, ईमान की ये है
क उब इंसान वो सजदा रवा
होने का वक्त आया
अरे तौबा तौबा...
हंस इ जनान तौबा तौबा

I am hurt, and I don't know I may ever be able to with you like I was earlier, I have so many faults in me, but above all these I am not a person who can forget this thing. The thing that hurt me is that why you need to do that, why? If you are reading this you know what I am talking about. Alas!

Songs for the situation!

2009-02-23T06:48:00.003+05:30

I apologize for not being able to write here, there are so many things that are keeping me busy these days. Since I don't get time to write here I am sharing lyrics few songs that are very close to my heart, and are the best for the situation.

तसवीर बनाता हूँ , तसवीर नहीं बनती
एक ख्वाब सा देखा है, ताबीर नहीं बनती,
तसवीर नहीं बनती

बेदर्द मुहब्बत का, इतना सा है अफसाना
नज़रों से मिली नज़रें , मैं हो गया दीवाना।

अब दिल के बहलाने की,
तदबीर नहीं बनती,
तसवीर नहीं बनती तसवीर बनाता हूँ ...
दम भर के लिए मेरी,
दुनिया में चले आओ
तरसी हुई आंखों को,
फिर शक्ल दिखा जाओ
मुझसे तो मेरी बिगड़ी ,
तकदीर नहीं बनती,
तसवीर नहीं बनती
तसवीर बनाता हूँ!

Another song which is also very close to my heart,

दिल से तुझको बेदिली है
मुझको है दिल का गुरूर
तू यह माने के या न माने
लोग मानेंगे ज़रूर

ये मेरा दीवानापन है
या मोहब्बत का सुरूर
तू न पहचाने तो है यह
तेरी नज़रों का कुसूर
ये मेरा दीवानापन ...

दिल को तेरी ही तमन्ना
दिल को है तुझसे ही प्यार
चाहे तू आये न आये
हम करेंगे इन्तज़ार

ऐसे वीराने में एक दिन
घुट के मर जायेंगे हम
जितना जी चाहे पुकारो
फिर नहीं आयेंगे हम
ये मेरा दीवानापन...

and the last for now,

ए दिल मुझे ऐसी जगह ले चल जहां
कोई न हो अपना पराया मेहरबान
ना-मेहरबान कोई न हो

ए दिल मुझे ऐसी जगह ले चल
जा कर कही खो जाऊ मैं,
नींद आये और सो जाऊ मैं
नींद आये और सो जाऊ मैं
दुनिया मुझे ढूंढें मगर मेरा
निशाँ कोई न हो ए दिल मुझे
ऐसी जगह ले चल...

उल्फत का बदला मिल गया,
वो गम लुटा वो दिल गया
वो गम लुटा वो दिल
गया चलना हैं सब से दूर दूर
अब कारवाँ कोई न हो अपना
पराया मेहरबान ना-मेहरबान कोई
न हो ए दिल मुझे
ऐसी जगह ले चल..

I am in a little hurry, I will be writing more in a couple of days, till than keep reading and do comment!

Post Techkriti '09 day 1

2009-02-18T10:16:00.003+05:30

Here I go! Techkriti 09 finished, transforming thoughts, this is what techkriti is all about, and I can feel that, it has transformed my thoughts. So here I am putting forward a task for myself, I am going to make several changes in my way of living, and this is the first day of this transformation.

Forget, just forget!
Don't remember anything,
forget everything,
Forget everything that gives
you pain.
Forget the incident that makes
your heart cry,
these memories will haunt you,
so better to forget them then to
remember them.
Memories are memories,
they are neither good,
nor bad, they are just memories,
you just forget them,
don't remember anything
just forget everything!

Exams and superstitions!

2009-01-29T20:53:00.006+05:30

Finally exams are over! How relaxed I am feeling now! Amazing feeling. These exams were the most different of all the exams I have given. There are so many reasons for that, first thing was I took lesser tension for these exams and I was under lesser stress than ever, and I fair pretty well, though it is the result which will decide that how I faired but for my inner being I think I have made a major change to my thinking and I am happy that I finally came over of the so called examphobia! One interesting thing I would like to share with you all that I noticed during these exams is exams and superstitions. It is surprising that exams make most people superstitious. And I am no exception, being an engineering student it may look disgusting that I believe in such superstitions, but I really can't help myself being a little superstitious. There are so many little myths that I follow during exams, biggest of them is I don't shave during exam, if my first paper goes well I believe that I shouldn't change anything in my look, and so I wore same pair of jeans in all exams! And also the same sweater. In one exam I put on jacket instead of sweater and my paper went poor, this thus boosted my believe in myths! Sounding crazy? But when wearing the same clothes making your exams better, then why not? Ha! Ha Ha! I can't help myself doing that. Here is a list of myths I followed during these exams and are very interesting,

Wore same pairs of clothes during all my exams ( though I changed my pants I swear! ;) Once I changed my sweater and my paper went real bad.
Used same pen in all exams, Once I used some one else's pen and my paper didn't go well enough. Even my friend whose pen it was, had a bad paper with that particular pen. (some mysterious unlucky pen ;) )
While going on bike for exam, for first exam I sat on pillion and our exam went well, so we didn't took risk of me riding the bike so my room partner rided bike in all exams, as we had an understanding that my riding the bike may bring us bad luck.
Entering the college from the same entrance, entering from any other entrance may bring us bad luck, we believed.
And there is one interesting one, when I fill enteries in my note book, for name, rollno, etc. I believe that if I make a mistake, my paper will go well, so I try my best to be careless enough to make mistakes and sometimes I have to make mistakes intensionally , anything for a good paper.
Another one is that we always had bath in a particular order, we didn't take risk to change that order.
I didn't have a shave for the sake of good luck.

This list is endless, there are so many small things that become so important during exams, knowing very well that these are worthless I follow them unintensionally. Don't know why? It is not just my case, almost everybody has some myths related to exams, some of them are really funny. These myths are baseless, but still they give us a strange power, and thanks to them I overcome these exams!

It will be interesting to know what myths you have when it comes to exams, put a comment here and let's make a list of interesting exams superstitions! Go ahead and reveal your secrets to success!

The feeling of death!

2009-01-26T14:56:00.003+05:30

Let's start with recalling a beautiful song from 'The Beatles',

There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more

Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more
In my life i love you more

I don't know how I got to hear Beatles, but It's wonderful to be able to listen this beautiful song, I am not a very big fan of non-indian music and rock music, but I love Beatles. Just this song had made me their fan. I am yet to discover more songs of beatles, but of the few songs I've heard the, let it be, you got to hide your love, hey jude, all are wonderful. Thank you Beatles once again for making a person like me who loved only old Indian songs and ghazals, love rock music. For me its a great fusion of Rock and Indian music inside me. Anything that is good, I will appreciate.

Moving off the topic, I am feeling not very good today, a very strange feeling inside, feeling like guilty of something, I don't know why? Is it possible to hurt somebody without even touching him? Yes it is, and I think that is more painful than hitting. And if the person who is hitting you is you yourself than? Ah! This can be the most painful situation. Yesterday I got a thought of the way I get killed by somebody with the most dreadful way, like somebody is peeling my skin, and then putting me into some boiling chemical and hanging me with neck, and I am not shouting, not dead, looking! Feeling like I deserve much more than that! Hell! I think I am getting mysterious. And today I am feeling pain in my whole body. I think I need to solve this thing, to do or to die. Why the hell I am giving pain to somebody who don't even know about it. It's tough to understand what I've written, I know, I can't write directly to the point, I am helpless. I think things will be normal soon, but I really need to solve them.

ps. you had better not read the above paragrah!

Lets make the enviornment normal again, read these lines from Madhushala,

अधरों पर हो कोई भी रस,
जिव्हा पर लगती हाला,
भाजन हो कोई हाथों में,
लगता रखा है प्याला।
हर सूरत साकी की सूरत में
परिवर्तित हो जाती है,
आंखों के आगे हो कुछ भी,
आंखों में है मधुशाला!

If anybody really got what is written over here please do react! It will be interseting to know!

Redicovering the music!

2009-01-25T07:14:00.019+05:30

I have been discovering music these days, I am a music freak who loves to listen music, on my top list there are artists like Parveen, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Talat Mahmood, Md. Rafi, Mukesh, Ghulam Ali, Jagjit Singh, Mehndi Hassan, Shamshad Begum, Lata Mangeshkar. For me music is not just about hearing, its about living into it. For each artist I love I have a story behind it, that why I love him/her. When I was a child I couldn't understand what Ghulam ali sahab was singing but I just loved listening him. My Nanaji listens to all type of music and I owe him for making me love these artists. Lets start this discussion by putting here top songs of these artists.

This is one of the best song of Abida Parveen, and I have heard it for more than 1000 times, each time I hear this song it looks as fresh as if I am hearing it for the first time. This is I think the beauty of her voice. Absolutely mesmerising. I can listen to her for whole day long, just one song. My biggest wish in life is to listen to Abida Parveen live, I can't explain how eager I am to listen her live. And I am sure I will, one day. Let's now take a look at another song by Abida Parveen,

I am addicted to this song by Abida Parveen, absolutely amazing poetry by Aamir Khushro. I feel that she is a living legend, I am now desperate to listen her live.

Now I am going to put a couple of Qawwalis of Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, the biggest singer ever, I believe that when he sings he talks to God! His voice is so powerful that just listening him can take you closer to god!

I can't believe that Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan is not more, He reached there, where no one can reach. Here is a video in which Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan looks completely lost in singing,

Can anybody say a word on it? I can't!

Now coming to another artist which I just love, Talat Mahmood, one the best companion of my life. He is the king of sad songs, I am putting here one of the song I used to hear at the age of 12, and is listening till now, the voice, the music, the lyrics everything is so perfect, it can bring tears to anybody!

If the above song made you sad, the next song can make you cry,

and here is another my favourite one, the sad song again, the magical voice again, and Dilip Kumar at its best!

I am a big fan of Talat Mahmood, I know its surprising that how I come to discover him at this young age. Thanks again to my Nanaji who did it for me.

Here is the song we all used to listen like a prayer to God, during my childhood, we all, my cousins, my sisters, while at farm house along with my Nanaji, the lyrics of this song can be treated as a prayer to God, or it can also be taken as a request from a lover to his loved one, just amazing!

I can't resist myself putting here my favourite songs of Talat Mahmood, here are the few more songs.

Each song I am putting here has a story behind it, for me loving them ;). I can relate myself to them, my childhood memories are attached to them.

Again a most wonderful song by Talat Mahmood, it reminds me of the old days we used to listen it during our summer vaccation, can anybody bring me back my old days? just one day! take me back to those days, I am having tears in my eyes right now, I don't know why. This is certainly a very strange situation, I can't understand why I am crying, I am still listening to Talat, I can't be back to that time.

The next song is another gem from Talat Mahmood,

And putting an end to this list here is the diamond,

There is no way we can compare legends, comparing them is like comparing rose with jasmine, both are beautiful and just incomparable.

Now I am gonna put my favourite song by Mukesh,

I can say this song looks to everybody, as if it is written for him. Anybody can relate himself to this song. And I too feel attached to it. I want to sing this song! For some other reason, :P hope she can bear my terrible voice.

Now the next song is dedicated to all broken hearts, the song that suits to almost 70% of all love stories.

Another sad song by the King of Sad songs Mukesh.

Now one very romantic song, in the voice of Mukesh

I am not a great person to praise Mukesh or to justify how great he is, I am just a listener who loves to listen his songs.

Mohd. Rafi, "The name is enough", I discovered Mohd. Rafi very late as compared to Mukesh and Talat Mahmood but I am lucky that I finally discovered him. Lets watch one great song from Mohd. Rafi.

Mohd. Rafi's voice is like velvet. Now let's watch a very beautiful song by Rafi Sahab, picturised at Bharat Bhushan and Madhubala.

The best song to listen when you are drunk and you are sad,

Then there comes the song which is called all time great.

Along the lines of all the legends I put Shamshad Begum, here is a very nice song by Shamshad Begum

Shamshad Begum's songs were also my companion in childhood though I now don't listen to her too much but her songs have always a great place in my heart. The next song is among my all time favourite, a must watch.

Now the song that comes from movie Deedar, I love all the songs of this movie.

If you want to recall your old sweet childhood days and childhood love ;) here is the song you were looking for,

Can anything be as simple as this one, superb classic.

Now comes the everybody's favourite Lata, I love the songs Lata Mangeshkar sang at her younger age, here is one gem from her, A must watch for atleast 1000 time.

One of the first song I heared of Lata and obviously the best as it has my childhood memories attached with it.

Now listen to this and you will feel like in some other world,

Cutting this post here I will continue it in the next post.

With all the songs above I have an attachment and have a story behind them, my own story. The memories I have with these songs make them more valuable for me, I think everybody has a story behind for the song he/she loves. And one thing I want to tell is that there is no age for discovering new music, we can discover new music any time. As these days I am discovering Fusion Music and I am absolutely in love with the Indian Ocean Band! Thank you Indian Ocean for producing such thing, and I discovered Beatles, I have become their fan. In the next posts to come I will write down about my these new discoveries, so stay tuned and do write back anything you feel like! Have a nice time!

How Osho and Open Source are connected?

2009-01-24T13:27:00.008+05:30

In the deepest layer of mine there exist a thought that Osho and Open Source are inter related, once my younger sister asked me what is Open Source and why I am so crazy about it? As Osho's ideology inhibit in all of us in our family, to explain her what exactly Open Source is, I told her, Open Source is like Osho, when we talk about Open source we certainly mean no Microsoft, similarly when we talk about Osho we certainly mean not the trivial way of thinking. I don't know if I can justify this thought by giving some equations, but certainly there is some connection. My heart says this. Open Source is a movement, Osho is a movement and both are related to make life better, think better, think bigger, respect individuality. The biggest connection I find between Open Source and Osho is the importance both to freedom. Open source is all about freedom, free to share, freedom to choose, freedom to modify, Open source talks about freedom of every type so as Osho talks about freedom, to find out more similarilties between Osho and Open source let us find out what they say about freedom,

From Osho Book, Freedom: The courage to be yourself

The freedom from something is not true freedom.
The freedom to do anything you want to do is also not the freedom I am talking about.
My vision of freedom is to be yourself.
It is not a question of getting freedom from something. That freedom will not be freedom, because it is still given to you; there is a cause to it. The thing that you were feeling dependent on is still there in your freedom. You are obliged to it. Without it you would not have been free.
The freedom to do anything you want is not freedom either, because wanting, desiring to do something, arises out of the mind -- and mind is your bondage.
The true freedom certainly comes after choiceless awareness, but after choiceless awareness the freedom is neither dependent on things nor dependent on doing something. The freedom that follows choiceless awareness is the freedom just to be yourself. And you are yourself already, you are born with it; hence it is not dependent on anything else. Nobody can give it to you and nobody can take it from you. A sword can cut your head but it cannot cut your freedom, your being.
It is another way of saying that you are centered, rooted in your natural, existential self. It has nothing to do with outside.
Freedom from things is dependent on the outside. Freedom to do something is also dependent on the outside. Freedom to be ultimately pure has not to be dependent on anything outside you.
You are born as freedom.

On the website

Now lets see what Richard Stallman says when he talks about freedom,

Once GNU-Linux was ready in 1992, it began to catch on. It was reliable, powerful, cheap and flexible. Thousands and millions of people began to use GNU-Linux. But the ideals of freedom began to be forgotten though. In 1998, people stopped talking about Free Software. Instead they said “open source”. That was a way of not saying “free” and not mentioning the ideas behind it. I don't disagree with that, but that's not what I am interested in. What I'm really interested in most of all is to teach people to value their freedoms and to fight for them. In software, as in the US, our freedom is threatened. So the basic things we need to do are: remember our freedom frequently, value it and insist on it. When someone says they protect me from terrorism by taking away my freedom—say No! Similarly, with software that threatens our freedom, that might give us some temporary comparative advantage—we should say No!

On the GNU website

This is how I connect Osho and and Open Source Movement/FSF movement. From the very first day I heard about Free software Movement/open source movement, I felt attached to it, as I have been with Osho thoughts from birth, it really was like another way to feel the freedom.

We can take this as a geek's way to relate to life, from Open Source to Osho, from body to soul, from mind to no mind! It is like going one step ahead in the search!

A note to note, Mumbai!

2009-01-24T09:38:00.009+05:30

While in train during my visit to pune along with Abhinav, for attending an Opensocial Developer Garage, Workshop, I wrote few poems, we had a tremendous tour, we were going to Pune in train without any reservation and the train was like packed, there was not even place to sit, for few hours we sit near the bathroom :P even there were more than 25 people. That journey was itself an experience, and finally we get to sit on a seat, managing to make friends with a group of people from Bangalaru, they were on a visit to Rajasthan, all were retired. Those people show pity on us, gave us seat. This is I think that can happen only in India. While sitting I managed to write a small poem,

ये तो वो नही जो दिखता है,
जब सत्य इतना सुंदर है,
तो सत्य-सत्य क्यूँ नहीं हर जगह?

अभी तो हर क्षण तैयार है एक
नया अचरज, अभी भी आँखें
खुली है, और बंद नहीं हो रहा है
मेरा मुंह, जब सत्य इतना सुंदर है
तो सत्य-सत्य क्यूँ नहीं हर जगह?

लगता है हर क्षण हो रहा हूँ,
में कुछ और बड़ा,
एक नई सीख, सीख रहा हूँ,
हर क्षण।

अभी तक मैं गिन रहा था,
वह-वह हो नहीं हूँ मैं,
पर अब मैं गिन रहा हूँ
वह-वह जो हूँ मैं।
लगता है हर क्षण हो रहा
हूँ कुछ और बड़ा मैं।

The whole Mumbai Pune trip was absolutely amazing, I got to learn so many things, technically and socially. The life of Mumbai is really amazing, the local trains of Mumbai, the flat culture, the crowd everything is so mind blowing in every sense. I could feel that why Mumbai is called the city of dreams, really Mumbai is city of dreams! I don't know why I am saying this, but there is a feeling that make you live upto your dreams, I think because you become so much commom man that your inner being shakes you every day to get out of all this. No body cares of any body around, people, people every where! And the Juhu Beach, its astonishingly cooooool to see the ocean! I was feeling like I had come to some where else, out of this planet! The Ocean man! I think Ocean is the inspiration for all the Mumbaikars!
The ocean gave me an image of what we call wide, think big! This is really big! The wind I felt while on Juhu Beach was the coolest, I could still feel that. It was amazing to see people enjoying on the beach, all type of people, the middle class, the upper class, everyone, I also couldn't resist myself from removing my shoes and go into water! When waves came towards me I felt like the whole universe is coming towards me! Everything is accepting me! The feeling of acceptance was amazing! And I wish I could get wet, alas! thats due for the next time!

It's due here to mention about local trains of Mumbai, before going there I had heard a lot about them, and everything I heared I had an impression that is excessive, travelling in Local trains removed my wrong impression! It is the worst thing you want to travel in! But at the same time it is the best thing to travel in, if you are in Mumbai! so Local trains are a need and they are like living legends! It gave an impression of how India is being managed! Everything is happening automatically, Considering the amount of people travelling in Local Trains everyday, the ratio of accidents and mishaps is amazing low! This is why we call India "Ram Bharose"

A final note to anybody going to Mumbai, must go for local trains once! or you have to go once!

During whole of my journey I had one more companion with me, Madhushala!
I would like to write a few lines of it over here,

लाल सुरा क धार लपट सी,
कह न इसे देना ज्वाला,
फेनिल मदिरा है मत इसको
कह देना उर का छाला,
दर्द नशा है इस मदिरा का,
विगत स्मृतिया साकी है,
पीड़ा में आनंद जिसे हो
आए मेरी मधुशाला!

Thanks for coming to my Madhushala!