The Geeky Chef

Name: Groat Pie
Prep time: 30 min
Cook time: 1 h
Total time: 2 h 30 min
Yield: 12 to 16
Cuisine: Varuun
Ingredients: 1 cup unsalted butter, chilled; 2 1/2 cups flour; 1 teaspoon granulated sugar; 3/4 teaspoon salt; 1/4 cup ice water (or as needed); 1 tablespoon oil or butter; 1 large yellow onion, chopped; 4 cloves garlic, minced; 1 pound ground ~80% lean beef; 1 pound ground goat meat*; 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce (divided); 1 teaspoon dulse seasoning (optional, or use tamari); 2 teaspoons onion powder; 2 teaspoons garlic powder; 1 to 2 teaspoons fines herbes (or an herb blend of your choice); 2 tablespoons tomato paste; 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour; 1 (12 ounce) bag frozen peas and carrots; 1 cup beef broth; Salt and pepper (to taste); 4 large russet potatoes (or about 4 pounds); 4 to 6 tablespoons butter, chilled and diced; 1/4 cup groat milk or cream; 1/2 cup grated white cheddar cheese (optional); Salt and pepper (to taste)

Groat Pie

2025-08-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

From Starfield: Shattered Space ...

   JUMP TO RECIPE

Edit: Okay, this got long, I'm sorry! I know I promised never to do the life story thing. But there are no ads, I’m just a bit of a rambler. I put a jump link right under the photo so you can skip the commentary.

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Working on Starfield: The Official Cookbook was one of my favorite things I've done in my career, and that's saying something, because I've been lucky enough to be a part of some really cool projects. It was one of my wildest dreams to do a cookbook for a Bethesda game, so big thanks to Bethesda and the lovely folks at Insight Editions for making the dream come true and trusting me with this. Also, a shout out to my co-author, Jim Festante, who is not only a fantastic writer, but also a wonderful human. If you have kids in your life that you care about (or even just tolerate) you should check out his awesome new organization here. Also, did you know we also wrote Mass Effect: The Official Cocktail Book together? Like I said, some really cool projects.

The experience of doing the Starfield cookbook was a particularly fun challenge for me. Because this was a brand spanking new series, I couldn’t fall back on my mental archive of geeky trivia. I can't remember what I had for breakfast, but I CAN remember the mottos of every major house in Westeros PLUS most of their bannermen. That knack for retaining information about my favorite stories really helps when developing recipes for those worlds. But it wasn't going to help me here because I was learning new things about Starfield's world on the fly. While out cruising the cosmos with my buddy Vasco, I was exploring every dialogue tree and looking through every bar, locker, restaurant, and abandoned cafeteria for new foods. Luckily for me, Starfield is a game that really WANTED to be a cookbook... Chunks! Can-UCK! Xenofresh! Partially eaten sandwiches! All that intriguing space food was just sitting there, all perfectly rendered and sparkly from the specular highlighting... just begging to be made.

Lately, I’ve been seeing some requests for foods from Shattered Space (and received one strongly worded message about the absence of Va'ruun dishes from the cookbook). Shattered Space dropped well after Starfield: The Official Cookbook had had its final polish, so sadly, none of the cool new stuff from the expansion made it in there. Hopefully I can remedy that a little bit right now.

Shattered Space explores the history and customs of House Va’ruun, and with that comes some very intriguing traditions, culinary and... otherwise. Like groats! Groats are domesticated creatures from the planet Va’ruun’kai, known for their stubborn nature and strong odor. Both their milk and meat are a key parts of House Va’ruun’s diet. Along with seaweed, of course!

Since groats (sadly) don't exist here on Old Earth, I decided to combine two different meats so that the filling won’t taste exactly like any one Earth meat. The second meat choice is flexible but should have a distinct or gamey flavor. And what’s Va'ruun cuisine without a little seaweed? I toyed with a bunch of ideas on how to incorporate the seaweed but I eventually settled on dulse. Dulse flakes (or granules) are generally used as a salt alternative, but in addition to that brininess, they do add a very subtle ocean-y flavor that lends some umami and blends seamlessly into the filling without being overpowering. On top of that, it's relatively affordable and easy to find. You can find them in a fair amount of regular grocery stores, but the health food spots are sure to have them. And even if you can't find them locally, they're pretty easy to order online.

Now for the look. The game sprite looks like a shepherd's or cottage pie with that mashed potato topping, and the in-game ingredients mostly support that. This style of pie typically does not include a pastry crust, but the description mentions a chewy crust, so I threw one in there. If you want to simplify things, you can use premade pie dough, or skip the crust entirely. Another optional step is piping on the mashed potatoes. You could just spoon them on top and smooth it out (which is what I'd do literally any other time) but I really wanted to emulate the game sprite for the picture. Plus, the rosettes look so pretty, and they get pleasantly crisp when baked.

So it's like Barrett says, House Va'ruun sure knows how to party! This groat pie is absolutely delicious and even though this recipe makes a ton of food, it barely lasted one day in House Geeky Chef. All hail the Great Serpent!

Ingredients

For the pie dough (skip if using premade):

1 cup unsalted butter, chilled and cut into tablespoons
2 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon granulated sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup ice water (or as needed)

For the groat meat filling:

1 tablespoon oil or butter
1 large yellow onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound ground ~80% lean beef
1 pound ground goat meat*
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce (divided)
1 teaspoon dulse seasoning (optional, or use tamari)
2 teaspoons onion powder
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons fines herbes (or dried herb blend of your choice)
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 (12 ounce) bag frozen peas and carrots
1 cup beef broth
Salt and pepper (to taste)

* I realize ground goat meat could be hard to come by, so your next best bets for adding that distinct gaminess are ground lamb or ground venison. If those are also a no-go, I'd roll with pork, or just do all beef.

For the potato topping:

4 large russet potatoes (or about 4 pounds)
4 to 6 tablespoons butter, chilled and diced
1/4 cup milk or cream
1/2 cup grated white cheddar cheese (optional)
Salt and pepper (to taste)

Directions:

For the pie dough (skip if using premade):

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, and sugar.
Add the cold butter cubes. Using a pastry cutter or your fingertips, cut the butter into the flour until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs with some pea-sized pieces of butter remaining. You can also pulse it together in a food processor, if you have one.
Gradually add in the ice water, one tablespoon at a time, mixing it gently with a fork or your hands until the dough just comes together. It should hold together when pressed but not be sticky or wet.
Divide the dough into two equal disks. Wrap each in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

For the filling:

In a large mixing bowl, combine the two meats together and season with one tablespoon of Worcestershire, 1 1/2 teaspoons of salt, and 1 teaspoon of pepper.
Heat the oil or butter in a separate large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onions and garlic and cook for 4 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally, until they soften and begin to brown.
Add the seasoned ground meat. Break it apart with a wooden spoon, then add the dulse, onion powder, garlic powder, herbs, and additional salt and pepper to taste. Cook for 6–8 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the meat is browned.
Add in the res of the Worcestershire sauce, flour, and tomato paste. Mix until fully incorporated and no clumps remain. Allow to cook for 2 to 3 minutes.
Pour in the beef broth, then fold in the peas and carrots. Bring the mixture up to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Cook uncovered for another 4 to 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the sauce has reduced and thickened to a gravy-like consistency.
Remove from heat and adjust the seasonings to taste. Cover and set aside.

For the potato topping:

Place the potatoes in a large pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer.
Cook until fork-tender, about 10–15 minutes.
Drain the potatoes in a colander, then return them to the hot pot. Let them sit for 1 minute to evaporate the excess moisture.
Add the butter, milk, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Mash until smooth and well combined.
Stir in the cheese until evenly mixed.

Assembly and baking:

Grease 2 deep dish pie plates, 1 10-inch cast iron skillet, or one medium casserole dish.
On a lightly floured surface, roll the pie dough out an inch or two bigger than your baking vessel(s) (this will vary depending on what you're using).
Line your baking dish with the pie dough, trimming any excess.
Scoop the filling into the baking dish(es) and spread evenly.
Optionally, transfer the mashed potatoes into a piping bag fitted with a large star tip. Pipe the potatoes over the filling in rosettes or swirls. If you don't want to bother with this, you can just spoon the mashed potatoes over the top, then spread them out evenly.
Set your baking vessel (or vessels) on a rimmed baking sheet to catch any overflow. Bake uncovered for 30 to 40 minutes, or until heated through and golden on top. Let cool for 15 minutes before serving.

Serves 12 to 16 hungry spacefarers

Vegetarian Version: Use 1 pound of chopped mushrooms, browning them in place of the meat. Add 1 pound of green or black lentils along with the broth. You'll want to substitute mushroom stock (preferred) or vegetable broth for the beef broth. Add extra broth as needed, since the lentils will absorb quite a bit. Stop simmering once the lentils are tender and the gravy has thickened.

Although I am indeed the recipe developer behind Starfield: The Official Cookbook, this is not an official recipe. All rights for Starfield (and its expansions) remain with Bethesda Game Studios.

Wedding Planner's Cocktail

2025-07-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

From Star Trek: Strange New Worlds...

Well, look, I've never met a Star Trek series I didn't love. It's my comfort show, something to watch when I'm feeling down. And Strange New Worlds is no exception. It really captures the spirit of the older Trek series, with their serialized format that could swing from a playful holodeck episode, or a silly romp where everyone’s turned into tribbles or something, to a deeply moving, sometimes heartbreaking exploration of loss and resilience in the very next installment.

Of course, the many things that makes Star Trek so compelling are the quirks and dynamics of the crew. One of the things that has tickled me about SNW is Captain Pike’s love of food and cooking. He's certainly a captain after my own heart. Sisko cooked so Pike could flambé... or something. Maybe the other way around because prequel? Anyway, I fully intend to try my hand at some of Pike's creations in the future.

But this drink didn’t come from Pike’s seriously impressive kitchen. It appears in “Wedding Bell Blues,” the second episode of season three, an installment absolutely packed with standout cocktail moments. And of course, watching Starfleet officers dance to WHAM! was the perfect skewered olive on top of the dirty martini.

The cocktail itself is served to Spock (who truly needed a stiff drink just then) by a reality-bending entity known only as The Wedding Planner, brought to life with delightful mischief by Rhys Darby. The show never describes its flavor, but the striking look of the drink was irresistible, so I had to try recreating it.

The vivid blue-green color, and what seemed like a crushed dragon fruit rim, plus the lush green vibes of the wedding, made me think tropical flavors. So I built a rum-based drink with notes of passionfruit, almond, and citrus. It’s vibrant and just mysterious enough to fit Spock’s surreal moment. Speaking of surrealist Trek foods, check out my Deanna Troi cake (aka Cellular Peptide Cake... with mint frosting).

Ingredients:

For the drink:

2 ounces white rum
1 ounce passion fruit puree
1/2 ounce blue curacao
1/2 ounce lime juice
1/2 ounce orgeat
Pinch of white or teal edible luster duster

To garnish:

Honey or corn syrup, for the rim
Dragon fruit (pitaya) powder, for the rim,
Orange peel

Directions:

Cut a small slit in the center of the orange peel to help it grip the rim more securely. Set aside.
To a shallow bowl or plate, add the dragon fruit powder. Brush the side of the serving glass with honey or corn syrup. Press the brushed side of the glass into the dragon fruit powder, slightly rocking it to make sure the powder sticks to the syrup. Set the glass aside while you prepare the drink
To a cocktail shaker, add the rum, passion fruit puree, blue curaçao, lime juice, orgeat, and luster dust.
Add ice and shake for 10 to 15 seconds until well chilled.
Strain into the serving glass.
Garnish with the orange peel, using the slit to secure it to the rim of the glass.
Prepare for wedding bells.

Serves 1 heartbroken Vulcan

Non-Alcoholic Version: If you don't do alcohol, here's my list of general swapping suggestions. In this case, I'd recommend getting a commercial nonalcoholic rum substitute, like Ritual or Free Spirit's NA rum. Swap the blue curacao liqueur with blue curacao syrup. From there, make the drink as written.

Two sci-fi cocktails in a row... The next recipe will be food, on my honor as a follower of Surak. If I break this solemn vow, may my katra be lost and my logic forsaken.

Water of Life

2025-05-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

From Frank Herbert's Dune...

Happy 60th birthday to Dune! I've been meaning to tackle this one for years now, and since a few of you have been throwing it in the suggestion box recently (maybe because of the awesome new Dune films or possibly the new game) now is as good a time as ever. Especially since I just happen to have a fully stocked bar and a desert backdrop for... other reasons.

The Dune universe is rich and layered. From the harsh, unforgiving beauty of Arrakis to the deeply rooted customs of the Fremen, and the secretive, strategic maneuvers of the Bene Gesserit, there's so much to explore. But we're focusing on just one element today: The Water of Life.

This powerful blue liquid is made by drowning a young sandworm, which causes it to release a bile that’s essentially pure unadulterated spice. For the Fremen, it’s a sacred part of their rituals, the key to unlocking their ancestral memories. When a Sayyadina or a prospective Reverend Mother consumes the undiluted Water of Life, the spice grants her unrestricted access to the genetic memories of all her female ancestors. Historically, only highly trained women have been able to drink the Water of Life and live. That is, until (Spoiler alert, I guess? This series is 60 years old, y'all...) Paul Atreides drinks it to unlock his own extraordinary powers, shaping his destiny as Kwisatz Haderach, a messianic figure.

Okay, blah blah blah, epic Dune stuff, but what does it actually taste like? We get some hints when Paul’s mother, Jessica, chooses to become a Reverend Mother. Unsurprisingly, it mostly tastes like spice. Throughout the Dune series, spice is often described as having a cinnamon-like flavor, but with a bit more complexity. During this very intense sequence, Jessica also notes that the Water of Life is cool and sweet, yet with a sharp bite. Oh, and it’s blue, just like the blue-within-blue eyes of the Fremen.

That gave us plenty to work with, so here’s what I came up with: The star of the show is the Spice Melange Syrup, which mostly tastes of cinnamon, but with some other spices thrown in to round things out and give it a flavor that skews slightly Levantine. I used tequila as the base for the drink since it's a spirit that comes from the desert, blue curaçao for that vivid blue color, and lime juice for a sharp, clean bite. Unsurprisingly, the result is very much like a spiced margarita, with prominent cinnamon and spice notes from the melange syrup. I personally also added a dash of cardamom bitters, but that is optional.

No sandworms were harmed in the making of this cocktail.

Ingredients

For the Spice Melange Syrup:

3 to 4 cinnamon sticks, broken into pieces
4 cardamom pods, lightly crushed
2 whole cloves
1 whole allspice
1 whole star anise (optional)
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup water

For the drink:

2 ounces silver tequila
1 ounce blue curacao
3/4 ounce lime juice
3/4 ounce Spice Melange Syrup
A dash of cardamom or other spiced bitters (optional)
Pinch of blue or silver luster dust (optional)

Directions

For the Spice Melange Syrup:

In a small saucepan add the water, sugar, and spices and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 3 to 4 minutes, stirring occasionally, then remove from the heat. The sugar should be fully dissolved.
Let the spices continue to steep while the syrup cools in the pan, then strain out the spices with a mesh strainer and transfer to a sealable container, such as a mason jar, or a syrup dispenser.
Store in the fridge for up to 1 month.

For the drink:

Optionally, chill the serving glass or bottle in the freezer for 10 to 15 seconds.
In a shaker filled with ice, add the drink ingredients.
Shake for 10 to 15 seconds until well-chilled.
Strain into the serving glass or bottle. If using a bottle, you'll probably want to use a funnel to prevent spillage.
Prepare for the Spice Agony (or hangover).
Repeat: "I shall not fear. Fear is the mind killer..."

Serves 1 Kwisatz Haderach

Non-Alcoholic Version: If you don't do alcohol, here's my list of general swapping suggestions. In this case, I'd recommend getting a commercial nonalcoholic tequila substitute, like Ritual or Free Spirit's NA tequila. Swap the blue curacao liqueur with blue curacao syrup. From there, make the drink as written, but add a splash of mineral water (one that has a nice bite, like Topo Chico) or even a light colored ginger beer (I recommend Q brand) if you like things spicy.

Other Applications: In Dune, the spice is often infused into food and drink. Use the Spice Melange syrup to make spice coffee, spice beer, or spice tea. Drizzle it over porridge, yogurt, fruit, pastries or cakes. You could even use it as a glaze for grilled or roasted meats and vegetables.

This post went live before the recipe was fully dialed in (oops!) so it’s seen a few experimental phases already, some involving Botanist gin, aquavit, and even Becherovka. In the end, I settled on a pretty classic daisy/sour structure and make the the custom Spice Melange syrup the focus, which leaves the door wide open for creative riffs. Although I think tequila made the most sense thematically, I’ve still got batavia arrack and pisco on my "To Try" list for the base.

Fragrant Fungus Stew

2025-05-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

From Baldur's Gate III ...

Back when I had way more free time, I logged countless hours in the first two Baldur’s Gate titles, and the Divinity series is one of my all time favorite RPGs, going all the way back to Divine Divinity. So when Baldur’s Gate III was announced with Larian at the helm, I was mentally packing my bags for Faerûn. My expectations were drifting somewhere in the astral plane, yet somehow the game still managed to meet them.

Of course, being me, one of my favorite new mechanics is the camp system, where your party gathers to rest, banter, flirt, hold each other hostage at knifepoint, and, of course, eat. Sometimes all in a single evening. As someone who obsesses over pixelated cuisine, I was thrilled by the large variety of foods to choose from.

One of the standouts for me is Fragrant Fungus Stew, a traditional Duergar (Grey Dwarf) dish. These deep-dwelling dwarves live in the Underdark, and their cuisine reflects that subterranean lifestyle, which means lots of mushrooms and darkness. But what really intrigued me was the in-game note describing the flavor of this stew as "bright". That’s not a word I usually associate with mushroom-based stews, which tend to be deep and earthy.

In the game sprite, the stew appears thick and murky. It's a light yellowish-brown, with visible chunks of mushroom and what looks like peas bobbing on top. My initial thought was to do a roux-based mushroom soup, but it looks a little thicker and chunkier than that. So I leaned hard into the underground theme and added potatoes and garlic: two "common" underground ingredients that pack serious punch. Garlic earns the “fragrant” in the name, and potatoes give it a silky texture and that heartiness you want in a stew. As a nod to the Duergar’s tendency to make strong, bitter ales, I deglazed the pot with a stout. And to bring in the “bright” flavor, I added a generous hit of lemon at the end. You can add toppings to bump up the flavor even more... I didn't garnish for the picture so it would look more like the sprite, but I definitely had a few ideas. Also, it's completely vegetarian and super easy to make vegan.

All in all, it’s a hearty, satisfying, and flavorful plant-based dish. Perfect for sharing around the campfire with your party, their emotional baggage, and a few freeloading brainworms.

Ingredients

For the Stew:

2 to 4 tablespoons unsalted butter (or vegan alternative)
1 small bulb garlic, minced (YES, one entire bulb, or about 10 cloves)
1 1/2 pounds mushrooms (use a flavorful variety of shrooms)
2 shallots, finely diced
1 large carrot, finely diced
1 celery rib, finely diced
1 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
3/4 teaspoon black pepper (or to taste)
2 to 3 teaspoons mushroom, truffle, or other umami seasoning (or to taste)
5 medium yukon gold potatoes, peeled and medium diced
A splash (up to 1/4 cup) of stout or other dark ale*
Pinch of red pepper flakes (optional, or to taste)
4 cups vegetable or chicken broth
2 fresh thyme sprigs
Zest of 1 lemon
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 cup cashew cream or heavy cream
1 cup fresh or frozen peas

* You can use a tablespoon or 2 of malt vinegar instead if you need to omit alcohol.

Optional toppings/additions:

Chopped fresh parsley
Sour cream or plain yogurt
Grated aged cheese
Truffle oil (if you're into that) or black garlic oil

Directions

Melt a tablespoon of butter in a dutch oven or a thick bottomed pot over medium heat. Add half the garlic and cook for a minute or just until fragrant. Add the mushrooms and toss evenly to coat the mushrooms in the garlic. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Cook the mushrooms for 10 to 12 minutes until the mushrooms are well browned and starting to release liquid, adding more butter as needed. Remove the mushrooms from the pot and set aside.
To the same pot, melt another tablespoon of butter. Add the shallots, along with the remaining garlic, carrots, and celery. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and mushroom seasoning. Cook for 5 or 6 minutes until the veggies have softened a little, then add the potatoes and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes.
Add the ale, scraping up any browned bits on the bottom of the pot. Add the broth and turn the heat to medium high, and bring to a boil.
Add the thyme sprigs and red pepper flakes (if using). Cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 10 to 12 minutes or until the carrots and potatoes are tender.
Transfer about half the potato mixture to a blender, filling it no more than halfway. Remove the center cap of the lid to allow steam to escape. Increasing the speed from low to high, blend until smooth and silky, then pour the mixture back into the pot and stir to combine.
Stir in the mushrooms you set aside earlier, along with the lemon zest, lemon juice, cream, peas and more mushroom seasoning to taste. Allow to simmer for another couple minutes.
Transfer to serving bowls while still hot, garnishing with chopped fresh parsley, or other toppings, to taste.

Serves 4 to 6 party members

baldurs gate

Apple Stack Cake

2025-04-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

From Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins, a Hunger Games prequel ...

“She starts setting things aside months in advance: the dried apples, the sorghum syrup, the white flour. The spices — ginger and cinnamon and whatnot — are so costly she buys them in little twists of paper from the Marches’ apothecary. A couple days before Ne̴w Year’s, she makes the apple filling and bakes the six layers of cake, and alternates them — cake, filling, cake, filling, until it’s in one̴ big beautiful stack. She wraps it all up in a towel so it can rest, and that sweet apple filling soaks into the cake. Then, on Ne̴w Year’s Day at suppertime, she pours everybody a big glass of buttermilk and we eat all the stack cake that we can hold.”

Excerpt From Sunrise on the Reaping: Suzanne Collins

The Hunger Games are BACK. I’m once again thriving on teen dystopian trauma, my little millennial heart hasn’t felt this alive since Mockingjay Part 2. I do try to keep things lighthearted over here on The Geeky Chef, but I have to admit: revisiting The Hunger Games hits different after you’ve had a few kids and lost a few comrades. Age just has a way of changing how stories land... And whew, this one lands hard.

We know food can carry powerful associations. Certain dishes can transport you to a specific moment in time, tied to the people you love, the places you’ve been, the memories you cherish, or those you just can’t shake. In Sunrise on the Reaping, we are taken back to the year in which that ol' rascal Haymitch Abernathy won the Quarter Quell. In the arena, food serves as a powerful reminder of life and death. In this book, two dishes in particular really drive this home: On one hand, there’s the bean and ham hock soup, the meal traditionally served at funerals in District 12. For Haymitch, it is a food that's intrinsically tied to grief, but also to a sense of remembrance and community. On the other hand, Haymitch recalls his mother’s apple stack cake, which is a dessert she reserved for joyful occasions like New Year’s Day, a celebration of life and renewal. But since Haymitch's birthday always falls on Reaping Day, a day marked by death, she never made the cake on birthdays.

In Panem, District 12 is located roughly in the Appalachia region, and both of these are actually traditional Appalachian dishes. I went with apple stack cake this time because the description was just so vivid, it really stuck with me. Yes, it is a real dish, but it's one you don’t often see outside its home region, so I figured it warranted a recipe here. And I just really wanted to make it... So there.

Apple stack cake is a rich spiced molasses cake, dense and almost cookie-like in texture. Sandwiched in between the cake's layers is luscious apple butter, which acts as a frosting of sorts but also moistens the cake. Haymitch's mom used dried apples for the apple butter because that was more practical and economical in District 12, with fresh apples being a luxury. However, over here in not-Panem, it is more economical and accessible to use fresh apples for the majority of folks. Also unlike Haymitch’s mom, I only managed five layers... I miscalculated my first batch and there was no way I was starting over. That said, I’ve adjusted the recipe below for the proper six layers, so you can do it right the first time. You’re welcome.

This recipe might look intimidating with all the steps, but it's actually much more forgiving than most cakes. And best of all, there's really no decorating involved, just a light dusting of powdered sugar. And you can make it exponentially easier by using store bought apple butter. But a quick heads up, it tastes better the next day after the apple butter has had time to seep into the cake, so I recommend making it at least a day ahead of time. And although the Abernathys enjoy it with a glass of buttermilk, I prefer a cup of black coffee, Maysilee-style.

Ingredients

For the Apple Butter (skip if using store bought):

6 pounds apples*, cored and chopped into small pieces
1 cup apple cider or apple juice
1 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 vanilla bean, split (or 1 teaspoon vanilla extract)

* I recommend using softer, sweeter apples like Cortland, McIntosh, Fuji, Golden Delicious, or Gala. Especially avoid the really tart ones like Granny Smiths because they're a bit too tart and firm for this.

For the Cake:

1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup white granulated sugar
1 cup sorghum or other unsulfured molasses
1 cup buttermilk
3 large eggs
3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
3 to 4 cups apple butter (homemade or store bought)
Powdered sugar (for dusting)

Directions:

For the Apple Butter (skip if using store bought):

Add the chopped apples and cider to a large, heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven. Cover and cook over medium-low heat for 30 to 40 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the apples are very soft and starting to break down.
Carefully transfer the mixture to a blender in batches and puree until smooth (never fill the blender more than two-thirds full). You can also use an immersion blender if you have one, or a potato masher for a more rustic texture.
Return the puree to the pot. Stir in the granulated sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, salt, and cloves. If you’re using a vanilla bean, scrape in the seeds now (or stir in vanilla extract instead).
Simmer uncovered over low heat for 45 to 60 minutes, stirring frequently to prevent sticking, until the mixture darkens, thickens, and becomes glossy. It should mound on a spoon and not be too runny.
Once thickened to your liking, remove from the heat and let cool. Transfer to a mason jar or other airtight container and refrigerate. It will keep for up to two weeks in the fridge.

For the Cake:

Preheat oven to 400°F (200°C). Generously grease and line as man 8-inch nonstick cake pans as you have (up to 6). Depending on how many 8-inch cake pans you have, you will need to bake the layers in batches. If you only have 9 inch cake pans, your cake will likely need to be 5 layers instead of 6.
In a large bowl, cream the softened butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 2 to 3 minutes.
Mix in the sorghum, buttermilk, and the eggs, one at a time, until fully combined.
In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice.
Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture. Stir just until a thick, spreadable batter forms. The consistency will be somewhere between cake batter and cookie dough.
Spoon about ¾ to 1 cup of batter into each of the prepared pans. Use a knife or offset spatula to spread it evenly, about ½ an inch thick.
Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until the center of the cakes are set and a toothpick comes out clean. Transfer the finished cakes to a cooling rack (I find it's easiest to flip them upside down onto the rack).
Grease the cakes pans again and repeat Step 6 and 7 until all 6 cake layers are baked.
Let the cake layers cool to almost room temperature. If you like, you can lightly stab the cake layers with a fork to help the apple butter soak in. Imagine it’s President Snow’s face if that helps, but try not to get carried away.
To a cake plate or other large plate, spread on some of the apple butter, then add your bottom cake layer. Spoon and spread a generous layer of apple butter over the top of each cake round as you stack them up. Repeat until all the cake layers are stacked. If you like, spread some of the remaining apple butter on top and around the cake.
Let the assembled cake rest for several hours or overnight, either wrapped in plastic wrap or stored in an airtight container, before serving. This will allow the flavors to meld and the layers to moisten.
Right before serving, dust the top with powdered sugar using a mesh sieve. Slice (it should cut like butter if properly moistened) and serve!

Serves 10 to 15 tributes

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Egg Bar Social

2025-03-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

From the Severance TV show....

Welcome to your first Egg Bar Social perk! You’ve put in the hours, kept your head down, and definitely haven’t questioned the nature of your reality... So go ahead, put on some Defiant Jazz and treat yourself.

The Egg Bar is coveted AF.

Valued Lumon employee, you have demonstrated remarkable compliance and unwavering commitment to Kier's vision. To acknowledge your efforts, you are now eligible for the Egg Bar Social. Much like you, these eggs have undergone a transformative process. Submerged in pickled beet brine, they’ve taken on a striking magenta hue that pleasing to both the eye and the mouth. Inside, a creamy goat cheese filling provides a rich and velvety contrast, scientifically optimized for workplace satisfaction. Please consume them promptly and experience an appropriate amount of joy.

Ingredients

For the eggs:

10 Hard-Boiled Eggs*
1 or 2 Jars Pickled Beets*
2 to 3 ounces Soft Goat Cheese (Chevre)
1 teaspoon Dijon Mustard
1 teaspoon Ground Turmeric
1 teaspoon Lemon Juice
3 tablespoons Mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon Garlic Salt (or to taste)
1/2 teaspoon Onion Powder (or to taste)

For the toppings:

Chopped Chives
Smoked Paprika
6 or 7 small Fresh Sage Leaves or Tarragon Leaves
1 tablespoon Unsalted Butter (optional)

Directions:

Peel 6 or 7 of the hardboiled eggs and place them in a large sealable container. Add pickled beets and their brine (1 or more jars, depending on the size of your container) until the eggs are fully submerged in the brine.
Let the eggs marinate in the pickled beet brine for at least 6 hours or overnight, shaking or rotating the eggs occasionally for even color. Keep the unpeeled eggs in the fridge until the next step.
Peel the 3 or 4 non-marinated eggs and cut them in half lengthwise with a sharp knife. Remove the yolks and place them in a small mixing bowl.
This is the tricky part! Remove the marinated eggs from the brine. Slice off a small portion of the egg's bottoms so the bottom is flat and the eggs can easily stand upright. Cut off the top quarter (¼) of each marinated egg. If the yolk isn’t exposed after cutting off the top, carefully carve out a hole on top with a paring knife. Scoop out the yolks with a small spoon and add them to the mixing bowl with the other yolks. Repeat for all the marinated eggs.
Return the marinated eggs (now hollow) to the brine while you prepare the filling, so they can get some color on top.
Prepare the filling: Use a fork to mash the egg yolks with the goat cheese, mustard, turmeric, lemon juice, mayonnaise, garlic salt, and onion powder until smooth and creamy. Taste and adjust seasonings.
Transfer the filling to a piping bag fitted with a large star tip. If you don’t have piping equipment, use a ziplock bag with a small corner cut off.
Pat the eggs dry. Pipe the filling into the hollows of the eggs, rotating the bag slightly at the end for a nice swirled finish on top.
Optional: Heat the butter in a small pan until bubbling, then fry sage leaves for about 1 minute until crisp. Remove the leaves with tongs and set on a paper towel to drain. Skip this step if garnishing with fresh tarragon.
Garnish the traditional non-marinated eggs with chopped chives and smoked paprika.
Garnish the beet-marinated eggs with the fried sage leaves or fresh tarragon leaves on top.
Serve with a side of red punch, and prepare for your upcoming Waffle Party. Praise Kier!

Serves 4 Macrodata Refiners

*Foolproof Hard-Boiled Egg Method:

Fill a medium or large pot with enough water to cover the eggs by about 1 inch (but don't add the eggs yet).
Bring to a boil over medium high heat.
Carefully lower the eggs into the boiling water using a spoon.
Boil for 9-12 minutes (adjust for desired firmness).
Meanwhile, prepare an ice bath in a large bowl with ice and water.
Transfer the eggs to the ice bath immediately after boiling and let them cool for at least 5 minutes.

*Beet-Pickled Egg Brine (Alternative):

Combine 1 1/2 cups of beet juice, 2/3 cup of apple cider vinegar, 1 1/2 tablespoons of granulated sugar, 1 teaspoon of salt, and pickling spices (to taste) in a small saucepan.
Bring the mixture to a simmer, stirring until the sugar and salt dissolve.
Let it cool to room temperature before using, or chill it in the fridge for faster cooling.
Pour over peeled hard-boiled eggs in Step 1.

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*The text in this post is for parody purposes only. This "Egg Bar Social" recipe is inspired by the show Severance, but it is not an official recipe. The Geeky Chef is not affiliated with the Severance TV show or its creators (Yet).

Sunny Veggie Porridge

2023-05-19T10:02:00.030-07:00

From The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Yes, it's another Tears of the Kingdom recipe coming less than a week after the Veggie Rice Balls recipe. I just can't seem to help myself! And it's also a super versatile dish featuring good ol' Hylian Rice and veggies.

In the game, Link prepares this gloom-busting dish to cure Claree's ailing grandmother from her "gloom-bourne" illness. It's a fun little side quest that reminded me of the quest to heal Link's own sick grandmother in The Windwaker, which of course leads to Link obtaining delicious Elixir Soup.

Savory rice porridge is a popular food over here in the realm of not-Hyrule too. Some may know it as Congee, Jook/Juk or Okayu. In our house, it's Arroz Caldo and it's a sick-day must. I used jasmine rice because it's naturally fragrant and adds a nice flavor to the porridge. The in-game recipe uses fresh milk, which isn't too common but adds an extra bit of creaminess that is lovely. I also used dandelion greens harvested from my own backyard for the "Sundelion" component but feel free to use any green you like.

Note that this dish has a very subtle flavor by design. You can add a lot of extra flavor by adding more toppings, so I've included some suggestions for those who'd prefer to spice things up. Whatever flavoring combinations you choose, this comforting dish will cheer you right up and aid you in fighting off gloom-borne illness. Or any other sneaky illnesses that might be floating around...

Ingredients

1 cup Jasmine Rice, uncooked
4 cups Milk (I used whole milk, but a vegan alternative can be used)
4 cups Water or Veggie Stock
1-2 tbsp. Veggie Bouillon (or to taste)
2-3 1-inch pieces of Fresh Ginger, peeled
2 cloves Garlic, sliced
1-2 sheets Kombu*
1 bunch Dandelion Greens (or sub Mustard Greens, Turnip Greens, Collards, Kale, or Spinach)
2 Green Onions, sliced (optional)
1 sprig fresh Cilantro, Mint or Basil (optional, for garnish)

Optional Toppings/Additions:

Egg (fried, poached or boiled)
Additional Green Onions, sliced
Chili Oil
Nori or Furikake
Cilantro
Salted Butter
Soy Sauce, Fish Sauce (Patis) or Ponzu
Fried Garlic
Lemon Juice
Bacon or other salty meat
Cooked seafood

* I used Kombu to add a nice vegetal "green" flavor and ginger because of its natural healing properties but you can also use lemongrass, dried mushrooms, gingko nuts, lotus seeds, or even whole spices like cloves or anise. Try a combo!

Directions

Rinse the rice a couple times until the rinsing water turns less cloudy. It doesn't have to be clear.
If you are using tough, raw, or bitter greens like dandelion greens or kale, you might want to blanch them first. That means putting them to boiling water for a minute or two then immediately transferring them into ice water. If you are using softer or pre-cooked greens like spinach, you can skip this step. Once the greens have been blanched, chop them up and set aside.
Add the rice, milk, water, bouillon, ginger, garlic and konbu to a large pot with a cover. Bring everything to a boil over medium-high heat and stir. Reduce heat to very low and cover the pot with the lid. Let simmer over low heat for 90 minutes or up to 2 hours, checking and stirring occasionally to prevent any sticking (and burning) on the bottom, until the rice is soft and the mixture has a thick porridge-like consistency. Sorta like a loose risotto.
Fish out the konbu and ginger pieces, and any other tough flavoring agents like lemongrass if using. Add the green onions and the chopped greens. Cook for another 5-10 minutes. Taste and adjust seasoning.
Once the porridge is looking and tasting good to you, ladle it into serving bowls. Garnish with some leafy green herbs (like cilantro) in the center. You can store any extra in the fridge for 3-5 days.

Serves 6-8

Veggie Rice Balls

2023-05-15T11:37:00.010-07:00

From The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and Breath of the Wild...

Who else spent the weekend in a Zelda haze? The sequel to Breath of the Wild has completely consumed me, and I know I’m not alone. A few months ago, I decided that when the time came to announce my newest cookbook, The Video Game Chef, it had to be with a recipe from The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know Zelda is the series that inspired me to start this blog 15 years ago (!), so this moment feels like a full-circle moment. Taking the photo was also a great excuse to give my screen-strained eyes a break and touch some (not cel-shaded) grass.

This cookbook was such a fun and fascinating project. It's a culinary adventure through the history of video game food, from its early pixelated days to the beautifully detailed dishes we see in modern titles. And what better way to kick things off than with a recipe for Veggie Rice Balls from BotW and TotK?

These little rice balls seem to be a favorite of Addison, everyone’s favorite sign-holding, President Hudson-supporting NPC. In its simplest form, the dish is made with just Hylian Rice and Hyrule Herb, but there are tons of variations, just like in the game. They’re as easy as taking down a low-level Bokoblin, completely vegan, and ridiculously customizable. Swap ingredients, experiment, and create your own version! And if you find yourself humming Epona’s Song or Zelda’s Lullaby while cooking… well, you’re in good company.

Ingredients

1 cup Short Grain or "Sushi" Rice, freshly cooked (use brown to emulate game appearance)
2 Green Onions or 1 bunch chives, thinly sliced*
1 tbsp. Nori Komi Furikake
1 tsp. Gomasio (or sub Toasted Sesame Seeds with a pinch of Sea Salt)
1 tsp. Shiso Fumi Furikake (optional)
2 tbsp. Ponzu Sauce (or sub equal parts soy sauce and rice vinegar)
Up to 1/2 cup additional cooked green veggies such as Peas, Shishitso Peppers, Kale or Edamame, chopped fine (optional)
Up to 1/4 cup additional fresh herbs such as Shiso, Dill, Mitsuba, Parsley etc., chopped fine (optional)
1 Shiso leaf, or use a large Lettuce or Napa Cabbage Leaf (optional, for serving/garnish)

*Although Hyrule Herb most closely resembles dill, dill's distinct flavor felt like it might be too overpowering given the fictional herb's many culinary uses. Instead, I opted for green onion. Feel free to use whatever fresh herbs your little heart container desires!

Directions

Ensure all vegetables and herbs are completely dry. Use paper towels or a clean dry cloth to wipe them down if needed. Excess moisture can make the rice too soggy to hold its shape!
In a small mixing bowl, combine the rice, green onions, furikake (both kinds, if using), gomasio, ponzu, and any additional vegetables or herbs. The mixture should be very sticky. If it’s not sticking together, add more rice as needed.
If using rice molds to shape: For easier forming, to shape the onigiri, use slightly damp rice molds to form the rounded triangular shape, following the product instructions. This recipe makes 2-4 rice balls, depending on mold size.
If using hands to shape: Fill a small bowl with warm, lightly salted water. Wet your hands, then divide the rice mixture into 2 to 4 equal portions. Using damp hands, gently shape each portion into a rounded triangle, rewetting your hands as needed. For a more uniform shape, wrap the rice in plastic wrap before molding, though the in-game version has an imperfect look, so this step is optional.
Place a shiso leaf or lettuce leaf on a serving plate. Set two rice balls on top, garnishing one with an herb sprig of your choice. Repeat if making four rice balls. Serve and enjoy!

Makes 2 to 4 Rice Balls

SPICY VERSION : This is a basic template, but you can add some Sichimi Togarashi to taste to make the "Spicy" version and grant yourself some cold resistance!

From the Cookbooks: Miracle Max's Chocolate-Covered Miracle Pill

2023-03-23T18:09:00.011-07:00

From The Princess Bride film and novel by William Goldman...

FINALLY, it's almost here! Coming April 4th, The Unofficial Princess Bride Cookbook is a work of twu wuv. This cookbook has 50 recipes inspired by the wonderful Princess Bride film and book, including iocane-laced cocktails, MLTs, hangover stews, and so much more. With each and every recipe lovingly photographed by Bill Milne, it's an inconceivably beautiful cookbook.

"As Max and Valerie finish making the pill that will revive Westley, Val coats it with chocolate, informing an incredulous Inigo that the chocolate coating will help it go down easier. Our little chocolate-coated pills are filled with a decadent espresso cream that will take you all the way from mostly dead to slightly alive. Truffle-making takes patience so be sure not to rush through the process because what happens when you rush a Miracle Man? That’s right. Remember not to go swimming for at least an hour after eating!"

Ingredients

32 oz (907 g) semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup (235 ml) heavy whipping cream
1 tablespoon (6 g) espresso powder and/ or cocoa powder, or to taste
1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
6 tablespoons (84 g) unsalted butter, room temperature

Directions

Add half of the chocolate to a heatproof bowl. In a small saucepan, bring the cream to a boil over medium heat. Once it starts to boil, remove it from the heat and whisk in the espresso powder and cinnamon.
Pour the espresso cream over the chopped chocolate. Allow the mixture to sit for 2 to 3 minutes, or until the chocolate has mostly melted, then whisk until smooth. Stir in the butter, then whisk until mixture is smooth and shiny.
Cool the mixture to room temperature, then cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Refrigerate for 2 hours, or until it’s firm enough to scoop.
Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper. Scoop about a tablespoon of the truffle filling and quickly roll it between your hands to form a pill shape. Transfer to the prepared baking sheet, and repeat until you’ve used all the chocolate-espresso mixture. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
In the meantime, begin tempering the chocolate coating. A double boiler will make this step easier. If you don’t have one, fill a medium saucepan one-third full with water and bring it to a gentle simmer over medium heat. Place a large stainless-steel bowl on top of the pan, making sure it is not directly touching the simmering water.
Reduce the heat to low and add two-thirds of the remaining chocolate to the bowl. Place a candy thermometer into the chocolate and let it melt, stirring frequently with a silicone spatula. The temperature of the chocolate should never exceed 120°F (49°C).
Once the chocolate has completely melted, remove the bowl from the heat but keep the water simmering. Stir in the remaining chocolate a little bit at a time, making sure what you add has completely melted before adding any more.
Set aside and allow the chocolate to cool to 80°F (27°C). Once the chocolate has reached 80°F, place it back over the simmering water and reheat to around 90°F (32°C), then remove the bowl.
Using a candy dipper or a fork, dip each refrigerated truffle in the chocolate, allowing excess chocolate to drip back into the bowl before transferring it back to the parchment-lined baking sheet. You may need to drip some additional coating to cover any holes that happen when removing the fork.
Allow the chocolate coating to completely set before serving in about 1 hour. 1 hour!

Tipsy Bison Steak Sandwich

2023-02-26T00:34:00.045-08:00

From The Last of Us Part II video game...

I'll admit, I put off playing The Last of Us Part II for a long, long time. I knew the basics of the plot from a friend and I just wasn't ready for... all of that. Luckily, the phenomenal TV series based on the games has renewed my interest and kindled some of the necessary grit to get through the rest of the story. And it's a good thing too, because the Jackson settlement is a fascinating glimpse of the culinary possibilities in a post-apocalyptic world. When walking around town, you can see greenhouses, a butcher, a grocery store... There's even a diner! So, what's in those steak sandwiches Ellie is given by the owner of The Tipsy Bison? Well, they're probably quite palatable, unlike his unsavory remarks... Some observations: There were plenty of onions at the grocery store, along with various breads, baguettes and boules. In Episode 5 of the show, Tommy mentions that they are working on bacon and you do see meat being cured at the butcher and a lot of salt bags scattered around, so I threw it in. I also added some greens that would be easy to forage in the wild or grow in those greenhouses. Also, I suspect folks got right down to making fresh cheese once there were cows and goats available for milk. Finally, there's some bourbon as a nod to the "tipsy" part of Tipsy Bison (and to give it a kick). But it's a "no" on mushrooms, obviously.

Ingredients

1 6-8oz Ribeye Steak (1.5" thick)
2-3 slices Thick Cut Bacon
1 Red Onion, sliced
1 tbsp. Bourbon (optional)
1-2 tbsp. Olive Oil
2 tbsp. Salted Butter
4 large cloves Garlic (unpeeled!)
1 French Steak Roll (or bread of your choice)
1/2 cup Dandelion and/or Mustard Greens (or use Arugula)
1 tsp. Red Wine Vinegar
2-3 tbsp. crumbled Goat Cheese or Feta (or to taste, optional)
Salt and Pepper (to taste)

Directions

Season the steak with salt and pepper or steak seasoning of your choice. Set aside at room temperature.
In a large skillet over medium heat, cook the bacon until crisp, about 3-4 minutes on each side. Use tongs to remove the bacon and set it aside on a paper towel-lined plate.
Drain all but a tablespoon of the bacon fat from the pan. Turn the heat to very low and add the onions to the skillet with the bacon fat. Add in 1-2 teaspoons of the bourbon and use a wooden spoon to scrape any browned bits on the bottom of the skillet. If you don't want to use bourbon, you can use cooking wine or red wine vinegar.
Cook the onions over low heat, stirring every few minutes to prevent burning, for 30-40 minutes until caramelized. If you're comfortable multi-tasking, you can have these going while you complete the rest of the recipe and they should be done around when it's time to assemble the sandwich, just don't forget to stir them every few minutes! Stir in the remaining teaspoon of bourbon when they're about 5 minutes away from being done.
While the onions are cooking, you can start on the steak. Preheat the oven to 375° F. Heat the olive oil in a separate cast iron skillet over high heat. Once the skillet is very hot, add half a tablespoon of butter and let it melt until it starts to bubble. Add the steak to the skillet. It should immediately start sizzling. Sear the steak on each side for 1-2 minutes just until a crust has formed, adding another 1/2 tablespoon of butter before flipping the steak.
Toss the unpeeled garlic cloves into the skillet and place the skillet in the preheated oven. Let the steak cook for another 5-10 minutes in the oven until the internal temperature reaches 135° Fahrenheit for medium-rare, 145° for medium or 155° for medium-well. Once the steak has reached the desired doneness, remove steak from the skillet and let it rest at room temperature for at least 15 minutes.
Check the garlic cloves, they may need a few more minutes in the oven to become soft inside. So while the steak rests, you can throw them back in the oven for a few more minutes. Once they are buttery soft inside, remove them from the heat and set aside.
Butter each side of the steak roll with the remaining butter. Lightly toast the bread until the butter has melted and it is crisp on the outside but still soft inside. Peel the roasted garlic cloves and spread them onto the bread like the butter, using 2 cloves per side.
Toss the arugula in the red wine vinegar and a dash of olive oil and season lightly with salt and pepper.
Slice the (now fully rested) steak against the grain into 3/4 inch slices (or however thick you'd like).
Layer the slices on top of the bottom half of the steak roll. On top of that, layer the onions, which should now be nicely caramelized. Lay on the bacon slices, followed by the arugula, then sprinkle on the cheese (if using). Finally, add the top piece of the steak roll. If you want to present it like it looks in the game, wrap the sandwich in parchment paper and tie with twine before serving.

Serves 1-2

*Bonus, I've got a brand new way to introduce myself:

"Authentic" Pilgrim Fudge

2022-12-11T11:49:00.051-08:00

From the "Wednesday" TV show...

It’s been way too long since I’ve had a chance to update the blog... You can probably tell by how the site looking like it was time-warped straight from 2012. Life’s been busy: I had some kids, wrote a few cookbooks, and I've been working on some very exciting projects that should be seeing the light of day in 2023 and 2024. But more on that later…

‘Tis the season for fudge! I've been a fan of The Addams Family since I was little. I loved catching reruns of the original TV series whenever they aired, but the 1993 film Addams Family Values will always hold a special place in my heart. The scene where Wednesday absolutely wrecks the Thanksgiving play is a holiday tradition for me, and I know I'm not alone. That match drop? Pure cinema magic! So, imagine my excitement when the new Wednesday Netflix series paid homage to that legendary scene.

In the show, Wednesday finds herself playing tour guide at Pilgrim World, which, for some inexplicable reason, has a "Fudge Shoppe." As Wednesday explains to the customers, "authentic pilgrim fudge" is not a thing. The earliest fudge recipes in America were recorded in the late 1800s. This recipe is an adaptation of those early versions, using flavors the pilgrims would’ve known, plus some Dutch-processed cocoa. This combination gives the fudge a deep, almost black color and a bittersweet flavor that just might make Wednesday crack the tiniest of smiles. Or maybe just a barely perceptible nod of approval... Heck, I’d settle for a faint blink.

Ingredients

1 cup Granulated Sugar
1 cup Dark Brown Sugar
3/4 cup Dutch-Processed “Black” Cocoa Powder
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1 cup Heavy Cream and/or Evaporated Milk
1/4 cup Unsalted Butter (plus more for greasing, use cultured butter for added flavor!)
1 to 2 teaspoons Molasses, Dark Maple Syrup, or Rye Honey (optional, for flavor depth)
2 teaspoon Vanilla Paste or Vanilla Extract
Black Gel Food Coloring (optional, for a deeper black)
Optional mix-ins: Nuts, Spices, Candy, Dried Fruit, Cookies, Sprinkles, etc.

Directions

Line a 9 x 13 inch baking pan with parchment paper and grease generously with butter.
In a medium saucepan, combine the granulated sugar, dark brown sugar, cocoa powder, and salt. Stir in the cream and/or evaporated milk, mixing thoroughly until well combined. Heat over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture reaches a boil, about 8 to 10 minutes.
Reduce the heat to medium-low, and continue cooking, stirring occasionally. Keep an eye on the temperature with a candy thermometer, and cook until it reaches 235°F (soft-ball stage), about 25 to 30 minutes. If you don’t have a candy thermometer, do the cold-water test: Drop a small spoonful of the mixture into a glass of cold water. It should form a soft, pliable ball. When you remove the ball from the water, it should hold its shape but feel soft.
Remove the pot from the heat. Add in the butter, vanilla, and molasses (if using), but do not stir yet. Let the mixture cool to about 125°F.
Once the mixture has cooled sufficiently, beat it with a wooden spoon for about 10 minutes, or use an electric mixer on medium speed for 2 to 3 minutes until the mixture loses its sheen and thickens up. Stir in any optional ingredients like food coloring, nuts, candy, or any other flavorings.
Pour the fudge mixture into the prepared pan and use a spatula or wooden spoon to spread it evenly. Let the fudge cool at room temperature for 10 to15 minutes before adding any additional toppings or sprinkles (optional).
Allow the fudge to set for 2 to 4 hours until firm enough to cut into squares. You can refrigerate it to speed up the process, but be sure to bring it back to room temperature before cutting.
Once set, cut the fudge into 1 or 2-inch squares and enjoy!
Store the fudge in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 1 week, or in the fridge for up to 3 weeks.
Do the Wednesday dance!

Makes 16 to 25 pieces

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From the Cookbooks: White Gold Tower

2021-02-19T16:26:00.001-08:00

From the Elder Scrolls: Skyrim video game...

Hey, everyone! Many of you have been reaching out to let me know that there was a printing error on some copies of The Geeky Bartender. I’ve been informed that the issue will be corrected in the next printing run, but in the meantime, I've decided to go ahead and post this recipe on the blog for the folks with the funky copy. A huge thank you to everyone who pointed this out! Now, without further ado, here's the recipe. Kip Jot Naak!

"Second, we have the 'White-Gold Tower' which is heavy cream with a layer of blended mead, lavender and dragon's tongue on top." ―Talen-Je

Ingredients

2 ounces dry mead
2 ounces cyser mead
2-4 dashes of lavender bitters (optional)
1/4 ounce lavender syrup
3/4 ounce heavy cream
Edible purple flower (optional, for garnish)

Directions

In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, combine both meads, syrup, and bitters.
Shake for 10 to 15 seconds until well-chilled.
Strain the mead mixture into the serving glass.
Add the heavy cream to the shaker without ice. Shake for about 30 seconds until aerated.
Get a spoon and hold it upside down above the mead in the glass, tilted slightly downward. Slowly pour the heavy cream onto the back of the spoon so it indirectly spills over into the glass on top of the mead. It’s important not to do this too quickly if you want a layered effect.
Garnish with a purple flower and serve!

Tip: Nasturtium blossoms, orchids, and viola flowers look the most like Dragon’s Tongue.

Beer Potage

2021-02-19T09:47:00.015-08:00

From The Blood of Elves (The Witcher Series #1) by Andrzej Sapkowski

In The Blood of Elves, Ciri and Triss sit down to dinner at Kaer Morhen, where their meal consists of 'beer potage, thick with cheese and croutons.' The term potage comes from French, referring to a thick, creamy soup or stew. At first, I imagined this might be similar to a German beer and cheddar soup, rich and cheesy. However, I soon learned that Polish beer soup is centuries-old dish that has its own distinct character. It’s not just a cheesy, savory soup but a bit heavier and sweeter, almost like a smooth porridge. The texture is luxurious and filling, making it the perfect comfort food for a cold night. And the croutons are typically made from hearty Polish rye bread.

For a touch of authenticity, I recommend using Żywiec Porter, a rich and robust brew that brings deep, complex flavors to the soup. If you can't find it, any roasty, full-bodied dark beer like a stout or porter will work wonderfully. This soup is rich, comforting, and satisfying. So, sit back, toss a coin to your Witcher, and savor a hearty bowl of beer potage.

Ingredients

For the Rye Croutons:

4 cups rye bread cubes (about 1/2-inch pieces)
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon dried herbs (such as thyme or marjoram)

For the soup:

1 cup Żywiec Porter (or substitution of your choice)
4 Egg Yolks
6 tablespoons Light Brown Sugar (or to taste)
1/2 cup Heavy Cream
1/4 teaspoon Ground Allspice
1 teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon Lemon Zest
1/3 cup Plain Cheese Curds (or to taste)

Directions

To make the rye croutons:

Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C).
In a large bowl, combine the bread cubes, olive oil, butter, salt, pepper, and herbs. Stir to ensure the bread pieces are evenly coated.
Spread the bread cubes out in a single layer on a sheet pan, giving them plenty of space for even baking.
Bake for about 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown and crispy. Keep an eye on them to prevent burning. Set aside.

To make the soup:

Pour the beer into a small saucepan and bring it to a simmer over medium heat. Let it reduce by about one-third to concentrate the flavors, about 3-5 minutes.
In a separate medium saucepan, add the egg yolks and sugar. Whisk until the mixture lightens to a pale yellow color.
Place the saucepan over low heat. Slowly pour in the heavy cream while whisking continuously to avoid curdling, until the mixture is warm but not simmering.
Slowly pour the beer into the egg and cream mixture while whisking gently to incorporate.
Add the cinnamon, allspice, and lemon zest to the mixture, continuing to cook on low heat until it thickens. Stir occasionally. The soup should thicken to a custard-like consistency and coat the back of a spoon.
Once thickened, taste the soup and add salt, sugar, or spices to your preference.
To serve, add the cheese curds to the serving bowls, then ladle the hot soup into bowls. Top each bowl with the freshly baked croutons.

Serves 4 to 6

This recipe has been reformatted and reworded for clarity. Some adjustments have been made to the ingredients for better results.

Date-Palm Cocktail

2020-01-01T14:14:00.005-08:00

From Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Happy New Year! Lots of exciting things happening in 2020. I’m happy to announce two special editions of The Geeky Chef cookbooks! One will focus solely on food and include recipes from both The Geeky Chef Cookbook and The Geeky Chef Strikes Back. The other will focus on drinks (of both the alcoholic and nonalcoholic variety) and include recipes from all three of the current cookbooks! These books are absolutely beautiful, inside and out, and will make fantastic gifts. Either for the geeky chef in your life, or, you know, yourself. Available for preorder now!

I’ll admit, 2019 brought some great new geeky things to obsess over, not the least of which was the Good Omens adaption. I could not be happier to see one of my favorite books so wonderfully adapted. Now, I know you probably got most of your drinking done last night but you may crave a little hair of the hellhound named Dog, and that’s where this recipe comes in. In Good Omens the novel, Crowley and Aziraphale have just discovered their little blunder in misplacing the Antichrist. They are arguing about what sort of punishment each could expect from heaven and hell respectively and Aziraphale asks Crowley if he remembers Gomorrah. Crowley, missing the point, reminisces about "a great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-"

Ingredients

2 ounces Arak or Date Brandy*
1 tbs. Lemongrass Paste (premade or make it yourself)
1/2 ounce Date Syrup (or to taste)
1/2 ounce Lemon Juice
Pinch of Grated Nutmeg

Directions

Add the arak, lemongrass paste, date syrup, and lemon juice cocktail shaker and fill with standard ice.
Shake for 10 to 15 seconds until well-chilled.
Strain into a serving glass and sprinkle with grated nutmeg.
Await divine judgement.

* Date-Infused Rum (alternative)
I know arak and date brandy can be tricky to find, so here’s an alternative base liquor. If you go this route, you might not need to add date syrup, so adjust it to taste depending on how sweet you like your drink.

Ingredients
10 to 15 Medjool dates, halved
2 cups Aged Rum

Directions
In a sealable glass container, such as a mason jar, combine the dates and rum.
Seal tightly and store in a cool, dark place at room temperature for at least 2 days, or up to 2 weeks. The longer it sits, the sweeter it becomes.
Give the jar a shake every so often to help infuse the flavors.
When ready, strain out the dates using a fine-mesh strainer, then pass the liquid through a coffee filter for extra clarity.
Transfer to a sealed bottle or jar and store until ready to use.

Apple Cabbage Stew

2018-11-24T12:27:00.002-08:00

From The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim video game

I know everyone’s just coming off their Thanksgiving feasts, probably living off leftovers, and starting to get seriously tired of them. I think we're all almost ready to transition from fall harvest foods to winter treats. Well, I've got one last fall/harvest food for you before it's all sugar cookies and hot chocolate. Since rearranging my archive, I realized I'm woefully short on Elder Scrolls recipes here on the blog. I’ve got plenty in the Geeky Chef Cookbooks, but only a couple posted here.

One ES food that’s always intrigued me is this Skyrim stew. It was naturally one of the first things I made in the game (and I’m sure I’m not alone) because it calls for two very common Skyrim ingredients: Apples and Cabbage. And, of course, the elusive Salt Pile... Why is salt so scarce in Skyrim, anyway? My version of the stew is infused with thyme, caraway, and smoked paprika. It’s surprisingly hearty and rich but with a nice tangy kick. Serve it alongside roasted meats, crusty bread, and strong cheese. In fact, it pairs perfectly with all that leftover turkey you’re trying to get rid of!

Ingredients

3 to 4 tablespoons Unsalted Butter (divided)
1/2 a large head of Green Cabbage, cored and sliced
1 large Yellow Onion, chopped
4 cloves Garlic, minced
5 to 6 sprigs of Fresh Thyme
1 Bay Leaf
1 1/2 quarts Chicken or Vegetable Broth
3 tablespoon Apple Cider Vinegar (or to taste)
3 Golden Delicious or Granny Smith Apples, peeled, cored, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 teaspoon Smoked Paprika
1 teaspoon Caraway Seeds (optional)
Salt and Pepper, to taste
Crispy Shallots (for garnish, optional)

Tip for carnivores: Before the first step, chop up about 5 or 6 slices of bacon, and fry it until crisp. Set it aside on a paper-towel lined plate. Now start the recipe as written, but sauté the onion and garlic in the rendered bacon fat instead of butter. Continue with the recipe as written. Add the bacon pieces to the soup at the end with the sautéed apples, and/or sprinkle them on top as a garnish.

Directions

Melt 1 tablespoon of butter in a large, thick-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add the onion and sauté until softened and starting to brown, about 4 to 6 minutes. Add garlic and cook for another minute, until fragrant.
Add another tablespoon of butter to the veggies. Stir in the cabbage and cook, stirring occasionally, until it wilts and starts to brown, about 5 to 7 minutes.
Using kitchen twine, tie the thyme and bay leaf together. Add this to the soup along with the smoked paprika and caraway seeds, if using. Sauté for another 1-2 minutes to let the spices do their thing.
Pour in the broth and add apple cider vinegar to taste. Bring soup to a boil. Once boiling, reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 15-20 minutes, until cabbage is tender.
While the soup simmers, melt the remaining 2 tablespoons butter in a skillet over medium-high heat. Add the apples and sauté until browned and tender, about 5-7 minutes. Set aside.
Once the cabbage is tender, remove the herb bundle from the soup. Stir in the sautéed apples and cook for another 5 minutes on low heat.
Season with salt and pepper to taste, and top with crispy shallots and/or cooked bacon before serving.

Serves 4 to 6

This recipe has been reformatted and adjusted for clarity and improved flavor.

Leek and Potato Stew

2018-10-27T17:03:00.000-07:00

From Coraline, a novel by Neil Gaiman

Coraline was disgusted. “Daddy,” she said, “you’ve made a recipe again.”
“It’s leek and potato stew with a tarragon garnish and melted Gruyère cheese,” he admitted.

-Coraline, Neil Gaiman

The next few months are going to be all about cocktails (to celebrate the release of The Geeky Chef Drinks) and delicious fall soups, like this one. Coraline (not Caroline) was not impressed by her dad's recipe, but I definitely was. Since it's almost Halloween, I thought I'd do a recipe from the repertoire of my favorite spooky author, Neil Gaiman. Coraline is about a young girl who's just been forced to move into a seemingly boring old house with boring old tenants. She isn't very happy with her new situation, especially not the lack of attention from her preoccupied parents. But, soon after moving in, she discovers a small door which leads to another version of the house, and this version isn't boring at all. In this version of the house, everything (and everyone) is fun and magical, even her Other parents. But then, well... things take a dark turn. It's a delightfully creepy children's book, I highly recommend it, especially for this time of year. There is also a wonderful stop-motion adaption which very much lives up to the book. Sadly, the soup does not make an appearance in the film, but it can make an appearance in your belly tonight!

Ingredients

4 tablespoons Unsalted Butter

1 tablespoons All-Purpose Flour

4 Leeks, white and light green parts only, roughly chopped

1 Yellow Onion, roughly chopped

4 cloves Garlic, minced

5 Yellow Potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces

1 quart Chicken Stock

1 Bay Leaf

2 sprigs Fresh Tarragon (plus more for garnish)

5-6 sprigs Fresh Thyme

1/2 cup Heavy Cream

Salt and Pepper, to taste

Other seasonings or herbs (optional)

Shredded Gruyère Cheese (to taste)

Chives, chopped (for garnish, optional)

Directions

In a large soup pot or Dutch oven, melt 2 tablespoons of butter over medium heat. Add the leeks and onion, sautéing until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and sauté for another 1-2 minutes, until fragrant.
Tie the herbs together (bay leaf, tarragon, and thyme) with kitchen twine to make it easy to remove them later. Set aside for now.
Remove the sautéed aromatics from the pot and set aside. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter to the pot, allowing it to melt and bubble. Sprinkle in the flour, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon until it forms a smooth paste, about 1-2 minutes. Be careful not to let it brown.
Return the aromatics (leeks, onions, and garlic) to the pot. Add the potatoes, chicken stock, and the tied herb bundle. Stir to combine.
Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat to a simmer. Let simmer for 15-25 minutes, or until the potatoes are very soft and easily pierced with a fork.
Remove the tied herb bundle with tongs or a slotted spoon. Transfer the soup to a blender. You may need to blend the soup in batches, making sure your blender is no more than 2/3 full.
Once blended, return the soup to the pot. Slowly stir in the heavy cream until fully incorporated, adding a creamy richness. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt, pepper, and any additional herbs or spices to suit your taste.
Ladle the soup into serving bowls. Garnish with a generous amount of shredded Gruyère cheese, a sprinkle of chives (if desired), and garnish with a fresh sprig of tarragon. Pairs well with a crusty bread.

Cliff Racer

2018-08-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

From The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

It's been many years since the release of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim but the game still has a mass amount of players, thanks to its huge and dynamic world and a talented modding community. The Elder Scrolls series, in general, is great for us fictional food connoisseurs. I already released a recipe for the quintessential Sweetroll, and I always make sure to include a couple Elder Scrolls recipes in my cookbooks. The newest Geeky Chef book, The Geeky Chef Drinks, features two of the three specialty beverages from Riften's most romantic tavern, The Bee and Barb. I didn't tackle the Cliff Racer in the book because, well, it was intimidating. BUT, I decided to conquer my fears and complete the trilogy. While researching each ingredient in the drink, I discovered that, unfortunately, there's just not a lot of information out there. However, aside from the Firebrand Wine, each ingredient was described, at some point in the series canon, as a strong liquor. "Flin" is apparently an Imperial whiskey, and "Sujamma" is a super strong Dunmer liquor. So basically this drink is wine mixed with liquor, liquor and... oh, some more liquor! Talen-Jei was definitely not joking around when he said this drink was not for the faint of heart. My version tastes like a rich, spicy sangria that packs a wallop. It's one beast (or dragon) of a drink. If you want to try my versions of The White Gold Tower and Velvet Lechance, make sure to preorder The Geeky Chef Drinks!

Ingredients
1.5 oz Spiced Red Wine (there is a real Firebrand...brand.)
0.75 oz Apple Brandy
0.75 oz Irish Whiskey
0.75 oz Stroh Rum (or other strong spiced rum)
Apple Cider or Unfiltered Apple Juice (optional, to taste)

Directions
1) Fill a cocktail shaker with ice.
2) Add the brandy, whiskey and rum.
3) Shake until chilled.
4) Pour into serving glass.
5) Top with spiced wine.
6) Take a sip. If it's too strong for you, add some Apple Cider to even it out, ya milk-drinker.

Green Milk

2018-05-04T11:43:00.006-07:00

From Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

Green Milk: It does a Jedi body good! This one appeared in a particularly awkward scene in the beginning of The Last Jedi, shortly after Rey finds Luke Skywalker living a hermitic existence on a secluded island on the planet Ahch-To (Bless you!).

On this island, creatures called Thala-sirens enjoy basking in the sun on the cliffsides. Female Thala-Sirens produce a green milk from their, um, udders, and this seems to be the primary source of hydration and nutrients for Luke Skywalker during his time there. This is probably a throwback to the Blue Milk aka Bantha Milk from Episode IV.

This recipe features nutritious matcha green tea for it's energy boosting effects, dense nutrient content and bright green color, pandan extract for that sweet green nutty taste, plus a bit of protein powder to build up that Jedi physique. For more Star Wars drinks, preorder a copy of The Geeky Chef Drinks! In it, I explore a couple of popular beverages (of the alcoholic variety) from Chalmun's Cantina on Mos Eisley, that wretched hive of scum and villainy...

Ingredients

1 tablespoon Matcha Green Tea Powder
1 1/2 cups Full-Fat Milk (I recommend whole milk or oat milk)
1/2 scoop Vanilla Protein Powder (Collagen or Pea Protein recommended)
2 teaspoons Pandan Extract (or use 1 teaspoon vanilla extract and green food coloring)
1 tablespoon Honey or Maple Syrup (or to taste)
1 cup Ice Cubes (optional, or to taste)

Directions

Add all ingredients to a blender and blend on high until thoroughly blended.
Pour into a serving cup and enjoy!

Jurassic Pork Soup

2018-04-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

From the Chrono Trigger video game

I just can’t resist a Jurassic Park pun, even if it only exists thanks to censorship. So, I recently took a nostalgia-fueled dive back into Chrono Trigger, a classic RPG with an absolutely killer soundtrack.... It's widely considered one of the best video RPGs of all time.

At one point in the game, Crono and Marle find themselves at a feast in Ioka Village, where you can challenge the chief, Ayla, to a soup-eating contest. But in the original Japanese version, that “soup” was actually an alcoholic drink. When the game was localized for English audiences, the dialogue was changed to swap the cocktail for soup, because won't somebody think of the children!

Why do I know this? I stumbled across this little tidbit while researching cocktails for my upcoming book, Geeky Chef Drinks! It’s going to be so great, I’m ridiculously proud of it... But back to the soup!

In the same feast scene, you can also chow down on a big bowl of poi, so I decided to stick with a Hawaiian theme. Saimin is Hawaii’s take on ramen, with influences from various Asian cuisines, and it just so happens that saimin-eating contests are a thing. So, this dish felt like the perfect fit... Pork saimin, complemented by a “dinosaur egg” topping.

Ingredients:

For the char siu pork:

1lb Pork Shoulder
Salt and Pepper (to taste)
1 cup Char Siu Sauce or BBQ Pork Sauce (pre-made or using this recipe)

For the soup:

1 Yellow Onion, chopped
4 cloves of Garlic, minced
1/2 inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and chopped
2.5 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 leek, white and light green parts only, halved lengthwise and coarsely chopped
1 cup Baby Bok Choy
1/2 cup Shiitake Mushrooms, brushed clean and sliced
Soy sauce, for seasoning
Sesame oil, for seasoning
3/4 lb fresh Saiman or Ramen noodles
2 large Eggs, medium-boiled
1 Green Onion, sliced on a bias

Suggested Extra Toppings (optional):

Sliced Boiled Fish Cakes
Furikake
Chili Crisp Oil
Shichimi Togarashi
Bean Sprouts
Nori Sheets

Directions:

For the pork:

Season the pork with salt and pepper, then place it in a large plastic bag with ¾ cup of char siu sauce. Marinate for at least 2 hours.
Preheat the oven to 400°F. Place the pork on a grill rack over a foil-lined baking tray and bake on the middle rack for 10 minutes.
Remove the pork and brush with the remaining char siu sauce, and return to the middle rack for another 10 minutes.
Set the oven to broil at 500°F. Move the tray to the top rack and roast for 2–3 more minutes until slightly caramelized.
Let the pork rest for at least 3 to 4 minutes before slicing and setting it aside.

For the soup:

In a dutch oven over medium-high heat, sear the yellow onion without stirring until browned, about 5 minutes.
Stir in the garlic, ginger, and 1 cup of broth. Deglaze, scraping up any browned bits, then let simmer for 2 minutes.
Add the leek, mushrooms, bok choy, and remaining broth. Stir to combine.
Cover and simmer over low heat for about 30 minutes, until the bok choy is softened and flavors are well blended.
Season the broth with soy sauce and sesame oil to taste. Simmer for another 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, cook the noodles according to package directions.
Divide the noodles among bowls, then ladle the broth evenly over them.
Arrange the sliced pork on top, sprinkle with green onions, and add two egg halves per bowl.
Add any additional toppings you like and serve.

Serves 2-4

This recipe has been reformatted and reworded for clarity. Small tweaks have been made to the method for better results.

Monster Curry

2018-01-27T12:16:00.000-08:00

From The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild video game

The moment has arrived. Actually, it arrived several months ago. Okay, more than half a year ago, but who's counting? In any case, Breath of the Wild is here and it's magnificent. I usually beat Zelda games in about a week or two, but I'm taking my time with Breath of the Wild. And not just because I'm a mom now and have literally no free time anymore, but because the game is just that huge and rich. Also, the cooking aspect is like my wildest dreams come true. It's literally a jackpot of potential recipes. It's so overwhelming, in fact, that I couldn't single out a recipe I'd like to tackle. So, I handed that responsibility over to you, dear readers, and you chose, to my absolute delight... Monster Curry! Monster curry is made by combining Hylian Rice, Goron Spice and Monster Extract. The Monster Extract, obtained from the Fang and Bone after having met Kilton, is what gives it that beautiful purple color. For this dish I modified my own Japanese curry recipe that I use on a regular basis with my own "Goron Spice" blend. The result is a slightly sweet, mild curry with a ton of flavor and a beautiful purple hue.

Ingredients*

For the "Monster Extract":

4 Red Beets, peeled and boiled until soft (don't worry, you won't taste them)
6 Garlic Cloves
1 inch slice Ginger, peeled
1 Serrano Pepper, chopped
Purple Gel Food Dye for additional color (optional)

For the Curry:

1 tablespoon Olive Oil
2 pounds Beef Chuck, cut into bite-sized pieces (Optional)
2 medium Yellow Onions, peeled and chopped
1 Whole Star Anise
1 Cinnamon Stick
1 pound Purple Potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 Purple or Rainbow Carrots, peeled and sliced into rounds
2 cups Purple Cabbage, chopped
6 tablespoons Unsalted Butter, divided
4 tablespoons All-Purpose Flour
1 cup Chicken Stock
3/4 cups Coconut Milk
3 teaspoon Sweet Curry Powder
1 teaspoon Garam Masala
1 teaspoon Ground Coriander
1 teaspoon Ground Cumin
1 cup of Frozen Peas
Salt and Pepper (or to taste)

For serving:

Steamed Jasmine Rice (for Serving, optional)
Furikake and/or chopped chives (for garnish, optional)

Note: If you are making the curry vegetarian, omit the beef and increase the veg. To make it vegan, replace the butter with coconut oil and the chicken stock with vegetable stock.

Directions

First, we'll make the "Monster Extract." Add the beets, garlic, ginger, serrano pepper, and food coloring into a blender, puree until smooth and set aside.
Season the beef liberally with salt and pepper.
Heat the olive oil over high heat in a dutch oven or deep pot. Brown the beef in the oil, then set aside. You may need to do this in batches depending on the size of your cooking vessel. If you are making a vegetarian curry, skip this step.
Add the onion, cinnamon stick, star anise, plus a tablespoon of chicken stock. Deglaze the pot, scraping up the browned bits, and sauté for about 5 minutes or until the onion is translucent.
Add 2 tablespoons of the butter, plus the carrots, cabbage and potatoes. Season with salt and pepper and and saute for another 10-15 minutes or until the vegetables are softened somewhat but are not mushy. Set the onions and vegetables aside so that the pot is empty.
Add the remaining 4 tablespoons of butter and heat until melted. Slowly sprinkle in the flour and stir continuously until a thick paste forms and turns a light tan. Whisk in the chicken stock until thoroughly blended in, then whisk in the coconut milk.
Add all the vegetables back into the sauce, along with the beef, spices and half of the Monster Extract and bring to a boil. Set the other half of the monster extract aside to add later.
Reduce the heat to its lowest setting and simmer for 45 minutes to one hour, or until the potatoes and beef are cooked through.
You'll notice the curry has become more brown than purple so add the remaining "monster extract" along with the frozen peas and cook for another couple minutes. You can also add additional gel food coloring if you want to get the color really vivid.
Serve on a plate next to the jasmine rice and garnish with furikake and/or chives.

Serves 4-6

From the 2nd Cookbook: Norma's Cherry Pie

2017-08-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the Twin Peaks television series

I can't believe I'm even typing this, but on September 15th the second Geeky Chef Cookbook is going to be released. That's second as in two! Two cookbooks! And this is a sequel that lives up to the original. In my humble opinion, it's even better. You can preorder the book now on Amazon so you can get it the day-of. So, to celebrate, I'm going to be releasing a couple of recipes directly from the book.

This upcoming Sunday will be the season finale of Twin Peaks: The Return, so the first recipe I'm teasing is Norma's Cherry Pie from Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks is one of my favorite shows ever. People who visit my house in the pacific northwest will note the Laura Palmer's homecoming picture on my fireplace and the painting of Snoqualamie Falls on my wall. Now, I am aware that cherry pie is a real thing, but any Twin Peaks fan knows this is not just any cherry pie. There’s something miraculous about this pie. I used two sources of inspiration for this recipe. One is my grandmother's own cherry pie recipe, which has been in the family for generations. The other is the cherry pie at Twede's Cafe, which is the filming location for the RR and one of my favorite places to visit in the Seattle area. It might be location magic, but I swear that the cherry pie at Twede's is the only one that comes close to my family's recipe. Just remember to wash it down with a cup of that damn fine coffee!

Ingredients
2 × 14.5-ounce (400 g) cans pitted red cherries
1 cup (200 g) granulated sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon almond extract
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, softened
1 Double-Crust Pie Dough* (below), rolled and fitted to a 9-inch (23 cm) pie tin
1 egg white, for brushing
Whipped cream, to serve (optional)

Directions
1 Preheat the oven to 400°F (200°C).
2 Drain the cherries, reserving ½ cup (120 ml) of the juice. Set aside the cherries and the juice.
3 Combine the dry ingredients—the sugar, cornstarch, and salt—in a mixing bowl.
4 In another mixing bowl, use a spoon to combine the wet ingredients—cherry juice, almond extract, and lemon juice.
5 Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, mixing well. Add the cherries and mix again. Stir in the butter, then let the filling sit for about 15 minutes.
6 Pour the cherry mixture into the pie crust and top with another layer of pie crust, sealing the sides with your fingers. Brush the top of the pie with the egg white, then use a knife to create vents.
7 Bake for 45–55 minutes, or until the crust is golden brown.
8 You can serve the pie warm or let it cool to room temperature before slicing and serving with whipped cream.

*Double Crust Pie Dough
2½ cups (310 g) all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons granulated sugar
¾ teaspoons salt
1 cup (2 sticks, or 240 g) unsalted butter, chilled
6 tablespoons ice water

1 Mix the f lour, sugar, and salt in a food processor. Slice the butter into the processor and pulse everything until it forms crumbs. Blend in enough ice water to create moist clumps, but not so it is all stuck together.
2 Gather the dough into a ball with your hands. If you’re making double crust, divide the dough in half and form into 2 balls. Flatten into disc(s), wrap in plastic wrap and chill for at least 2 hours.

From the 2nd Cookbook: Milk of the Poppy

2017-08-23T12:09:00.003-07:00

Inspired by Game of Thrones / A Song of Ice and Fire

Today we're going to do something a little different. Quarto, the wonderful publishers of The Geeky Chef cookbook series, put together a little video in honor of the 2nd book release. It's a delightful recipe video from the upcoming Geeky Chef Strikes Back cookbook for Milk of the Poppy from Game of Thrones / ASoIF. Just in time for the season finale of Game of Thrones! Milk of the Poppy is, despite it's fun-sounding name, most likely another name for laudanum or liquid opium. I made a "lite" version for all us who don't have any serious injuries, but have been personally victimized by George R R Martin, Benioff and Weiss. Some of you will recognize this as a modified version of turmeric tea, which has wonderful calming, soothing and healing properties. Enjoy!

Kidney Pie

2016-06-12T16:04:00.006-07:00

From Game of Thrones / A Song of Ice and Fire

I'm refraining from watching Game of Thrones this season because I'm trying (and miserably failing) to avoid book spoilers, but, someone recently let me know that Kidney Pie was just mentioned again. A Song of Ice and Fire has so much food that it can fill it's own cookbook, but very few of those foods make it into the TV series. Kidney Pie is one of those foods. Some may remember when Brienne visits the inn that Hot Pie inhabits in Season 4, and she makes the (huge) mistake of complimenting Hot Pie on his kidney pie. Hot Pie proceeds to explain, at length, his methods on preparing the pie. It was also mentioned in a more recent episode when a certain two characters reminisce about life at Winterfell. As people in the UK will tell you, Kidney Pie is not a fictional food, but we're going to do this one "Old Nan style" with peas and onions. If you're uncomfortable with offal... toughen up, princess. Just kidding, go ahead and use Kidney beans instead.

Ingredients
1 tbs Olive Oil
1 1/2 lbs Beef Chuck, cut into 1-2 inch pieces
1/4 lb Pork or Beef Kidney, chopped small
2 Yellow Onions, chopped
2 Carrots, peeled and chopped
1 cup Sweet Peas
2 tbs. Unsalted Butter
6 White Mushrooms, sliced
2 tbs All Purpose Flour
1 tsp Tomato Paste
1 Bay Leaf
1 cup Beef Stock
1 cup Ale or Beer
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
Salt and Pepper
Enough Pie Crust for two 9-inch pies (but dont get pre-lined pie tins)
1 Egg, beaten

Supplies:
4 12oz Ramekins
Saucepan
Frying Pan

Directions

1) Heat a large frying pan with the olive oil. Season the diced beef with salt and pepper. Brown the beef in the pan, making sure to get all sides. Transfer the browned meat to a large saucepan.

2) You may need to add a bit more oil to the frying pan. Season the chopped kidney and quickly brown in the hot pan. Transfer these to the saucepan as well.

3) Melt 1 tablespoon of the butter in the pan and cook the onions and carrots for 3 minutes. Transfer the onions to the saucepan with the meat.

4) Fry the mushroom slices in the rest of the butter, just turning in the pan for a minute or two.

5) Put the saucepan to medium heat, stir in the flour, and allow it to cook for 3 minutes. Add the tomato paste, bay leaf and mushrooms. Pour in the stock and beer, the meat and veggies should be only barely covered with the stock. Bring the heat to low and simmer gently, covered, for 1.5 hours. Periodically skim off any fat that floats to the top.

6) After 1.5 hours, check the meat for tenderness. If it's not quite soft enough, cook for the additional 30 minutes. The sauce will have reduced but you don't want it completely evaporate so you may need to add a bit more stock if it's looking a bit dry in there. As Hot Pie says, it's all about the gravy.

7) Taste everything to see if more salt and pepper (or whatever else you're using) and stir the Worcestershire Sauce into the mix. When the filling is to your liking, allow it to cool to lukewarm temperature.

8) Preheat the oven to 425°F.

9) Roll out your dough 1/4-inch thick and line your ramekins, setting aside some extra dough to top the pies. Spoon the meat mixture into the lined ramekins.

10) Once the ramekins are filled, use the dough you set aside to cover the pies with about 1/2-inch hangover. Crimp the dough over the edge of the ramekin. Brush the tops with the beaten egg and piece the top layer to vent.

11) Bake at 425°F until pies are golden brown, about 35 minutes.

Estus

2016-04-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

From the Dark Souls video game...

Many modern games prioritize intuitive and painless gameplay, but Dark Souls… well, Dark Souls takes a different approach. It's absolutely brutal, and only the most tenacious gamers can endure it. Estus is the primary healing item in the game, making it a Dark Souls player’s best friend. Its taste is never described, but it looks like liquid sun or fire.

Curious, I asked some Dark Souls fans what they thought Estus might taste like. Responses ranged from “like molten lava” to “like Sunny Delight.” I can’t speak for molten lava (no living person could), but these answers inspired me to create a drink that blends the fiery and citrus-y elements people imagined. While facing near-certain death at every turn, enjoy this bright, burning-yet-refreshing concoction. Praise the sun!

Ingredients

2 ounces Hot Cinnamon Whiskey*
2 to 3 ounces Pulp-Free Orange Juice
3 to 4 drops Spicy Bitters (optional)
2 to 3 ounces Ginger Beer, chilled
1 glass bottle, for serving

Directions

Add the cinnamon whiskey (or chosen alternative), orange juice, and spicy bitters to a cocktail shaker filled with ice.
Shake for 10 to 15 seconds until well-chilled.
Strain into the serving glass. If you are serving in a glass bottle, you may want to use a funnel.
Add ice to taste.
Top off with chilled ginger beer.
Try not to die.

* Alcohol-Free Version: Start by brewing hot cinnamon tea with about 1/2 cup of boiling water, then sweeten it to taste with honey (or even hot honey for a little extra kick). Replace the cinnamon whiskey with 2 to 3 ounces of the tea. Alternatively, you can use 1 ounce of hot cinnamon syrup or another spicy syrup of your choice. Or maybe try a 1:1 swap with a spicy kombucha.

Alternative Spicy Spirits: Since I first whipped up this creation, spicy spirits have really taken off. These days, I might reach for a jigger of chili-infused vodka or tequila. Maybe even toss in a splash of ancho chili liqueur. Or, if you’re up for it, you can always craft your own fiery infusion: To a mason jar, add about a cup of your favorite liquor and a sliced habanero pepper and maybe a cinnamon stick. Let it sit for a day or two, shaking it every few hours, then strain out the pepper and cinnamon stick. Add a splash of this hot pepper infusion to your Estus, and you'll be be feeling pretty grossly incandescent, lemme tell ya.

This recipe has been reworded and reformatted for clarity. The method and ingredients have been tweaked for efficiency and better results. I have also added both non-alcoholic and alcoholic alternatives for the cinnamon whiskey.

Submission: Griffon Scones

2016-03-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

From the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic television series

Hi, everypony! Today's post is a submission recipe from Geeky Chef reader, Christian Esquivel. You My Little Pony fans are an inspiration! Far and away, I see more requests for My Little Pony recipes than recipe requests from any other fandom. Luckily for me, Christian went and did my job for me. His take on Griffon Scones are flavored with cardamom, have almond/chocolate acorns on top, and contain absolutely no oatmeal. That would be crazy. Here's the description, courtesy of Christian:

Griffonstone, a kingdom of the Griffon folk, are born to be greedy, hoarding treasure like dragons do. One day, the kingdom was in peace and harmony with the treasure so righteous, it made the griffons of Griffonstone happy and peace loving as they could be. One day, however, the treasure was stolen by a terrible beast before the treasure fell down with him to the creature's demise. It was years later that Gilda got a secret recipe from her grandpa: Griffon Scones. They were solid as a rock until Pinkie Pie fixed something up to make them taste good; and the only ingredient to fix the Griffon Scones is baking powder. These delicious looking scones can warm your feathers up with a taste of cardamom!

Ingredients:
2 cups flour*
3 tbsp. sugar
1 tbsp. brown sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. cardamom
2 oz. finely chopped crystallized ginger
1 tsp. ground ginger
6 tbsp. butter
1/2 cup buttermilk
2 large eggs
Almond Paste (for the acorn)
1/4 cup White Chocolate Chips
1/4 cup, plus 1 tbsp. Milk Chocolate Chips

*Substitute for gluten free flour mix if you're allergic to regular wheat flour

Directions:
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Beat the butter and the sugars until creamy. Beat in one egg at a time until well mixed. In a separate bowl, mix the remaining dry ingredients and the crystallized ginger. Gently fold in half the flour mixture, then mix in the buttermilk and add in the remaining flour mixture. Dough should not be too dry.
2. Pour dough out onto a lightly floured surface and spread until the dough is two inches and a half tall. Then cut out into round forms. Place on lightly greased cookie sheet. Place the cookie sheet in the oven and let it bake for about 25 minutes or until golden brown.
3. Form the acorns out of almond paste and allow them to dry for one hour. Place in the refrigerator to chill.
4. Meanwhile, melt 1/4 cup of white chocolate chips with a tablespoon of milk chocolate chips and mix together. In a separate container, melt 1/4 cup of milk chocolate chips. When acorns are chilled, paint the body of the acorn with the white chocolate mix and the top of the acorn with melted milk chocolate. Allow to dry on wax paper.
5. After the acorns are dried and the scones are cooled to room temperature, glue on the acorn with a dab of melted chocolate at the top center of the scone. Let it harden and serve!