The truth is probably a little of both or something.

But, the real challenge of running around this way, the real bummer of everything I’m trying to do is that–since this became acute at the end of 2006, it’s been damn near impossible to retain money.   They’ve levied multiple accounts while I was, in good faith, negotiating with them.  The decisions I make have to be based on a shorter than normal horizon because they can suffocate me by taking what I do earn.

It’s gotten better since I shored up my accounting and since I got everything (more or less) correctly filed.   I’ve learned that I can take a pounding and keep a marriage (more or less) together.  I learned that I can be a good dad and not snap at my kids despite some fierce stress.

But, it’s frustrating as hell working as hard as I have learned to and not build wealth.  I’m $85,000 in debt, today, and that’s half the amount it was.  I’m chunking out money every single month and it’s exhausting to run to beat the devil.  On my board sits the 5 major debts that I have (student loan, IRS, car, student loans for H & other).

Not having a reserve means you are on a rat race system, accumulating time debt and not able to do what you want to do.   Still, since we cut expenses by downsizing, we’ve got the wiggle room to move, because we don’t have any weeks that cost more than $800 bucks.  We can beat this thing back $300 at a time, and we are.   The interest each month is less.

If I didn’t have bizarre confidence in my skills, I would have caved a long time ago.  I know that I will beat this thing, and build something.  $35 dollars at a time, $200 dollars a week.  All it takes.

Oh, yeah.

You should all go to http://guerrilla.me/thesisblogs and tell me what to do to make that video better.  And, buy a couple blogs.

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

Keeping What You Reep

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Sometimes you can’t.

Sometimes you write posts tha don’t need to come out ant any particular time.

I’ve been having this Wordpress dream for years.  That I’d have the ability to have a blog that runs itself.  When I create a content surplus, I can file it away.

That’s what Mat @ Dagon Design did.  He’s got a wicked collection of plugins.  The one that I love is this:

Scheduled Post Plugin.

Category driven, you can make it post in the future ONLY when you don’t post within x hours.

Think about that?  You then post every morning at 9, no matter what.

And you can do more in batches.

Friggin’ cool tool if you ask me.  Go get it and let me know if it has any

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

Killer WP Tool: Dagon Design’s Scheduled Post Plugin

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When I was a Realtor, when I was in and of that world, there was always an echo of wrong in it.  There was such a din of thoughts injected into my head from top producers, the NAR, brokers, and everyone else that I never got to the point of the matter: Most Realtors were grossly overpaid for the service that they provided.  A few have the systems & commitment that made themselves worth every penny.  But that would be–in my guess–roughly 1%.

This doesn’t mean that the remaining 99% don’t have integrity.  They may.  This doesn’t mean that the remaining 99% aren’t conscientious, aren’t trying to do a good job.  They are.   But they are also likely to be obtuse enough to be insulated from the reality that a big part of what they do and who they are is just redirecting value and equity from consumers.  The conspiracy that is the NAR brainwashes people down to the core. There was something there, some disconnect with reality.  A litany of noise whenever 6% was challenged, and a list of expenses would be proffered, none of which had shit to do with selling a house.

The deceit was top down, the conspiracy against consumers.  I lacked the vocabulary to understand what I was uncomfortable with.  I wanted the Acura, the toys, the awards.  The medals.  The recognition.  The salve for my daddy issues, whatever.  I was able to pound the phone, admit I was a salesman and do OK.  The hustle got me 6 figures…and ultimate financial ruin.

I was better than average.  More conscientious.  I lied less often than most Realtors.  I outproduced lots of them, averaging 35ish houses a year.  But the standard is so low, it’s like saying I was the kindest SS guard at Auschwitz.  Not something to be proud of or hang your hat on.  Not enough.  Fleecing people out of their equity.   Greg has a start of how to fix it in this little treatise. It’s a start, maybe enough I don’t know.

Point is this:  I’m doing consulting now.  There’s a disconnect.  I’m not accountable for the results.  I’m accountable only for the actions.  When the scumbags at Granger Terry fleeced the Owens campaign, and sent their listless consultant who was late and indifferent, they were taking real dreams away.  They added no value.   I don’t want to be that way.

So–without going that path, what’s left for a projectaholoic?  I can do my own things. I can create products as I’m doing at Guerrilla.ME.

It’s easy to be better than the existing, but I’ve got to think about what standards I want to carry, what I want to do and how I want to do it.  I haven’t done that yet.    I’m not gonna do the thing where there’s any pressure in agreements.   Where the service ends at the sale.

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

What Kind of Consulting Are You Doing?

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Showing up, fully engaged is a big part of work.  Being a machine, like Seth Godin, like NameTag Scott is the way to have wild success, wild wealth, and more of what you want.  The quality of your ideas is less important–by far–and less novel–by far than the execution.

Ideas are everywhere.  Execution is 90% of it or more.  “Idea guys” are worthless.  Utterly entitled useless pieces of crap.  The idea isn’t the novel thing, and the older and presumably wiser I get the more  I know it.  It’s easy to have a dazzling idea, a new and novel thing that you could make some day.

It’s hard to get up every day, look people in the eye and serve them with all of your heart, mind, mind, soul & strength.  It’s hard to show the patience and confidence you need.  It’s easy to be the smart kid, it’s easy to be the one with the answers.  It’s hard, really hard, to show up every day and have the enduring faith that it takes to work towards your goal, especially when instant results are out the window.

How many exciting, great ideas have you had that would be AWESOME if they were put into practice?

How many NBA players had roughly the same physical gifts as Michael Jordan (Dominique Wilkins, Charles Barkley, Anfernee Hardaway) but didn’t hit the same heights?  MJ’s mental gifts were far more novel than his physical gifts.

Right now, I’m trying to learn to develop the consistency needed to get past the ‘next level’ and go to the one beyond that.  It’s not about intellect, acumen or acuity, it’s about just blocking out distractions and doing it.  It’s about getting up and rolling.   Not getting-ready-to-roll.  Preparation has its place, but only in moderation.

Lots of little things help.  Keeping a list helps.  Clearing a schedule helps.  Paying a little bet on a debt every day helps.  Morning pages helps.  I’ve come farther along than I thought possible.  But I need to be hitting it hard.

How do you create consistency?  Are you really doing it?  Are you being honest with yourself?

Ideas are everywhere, and without execution totally worthless.  A mediocre idea executed with passion and fervor will beat the hell out of genius ideas that sit in drawers.

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

Consistency is What It Takes: Don’t be an Idea Guy

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The uncertainty though is hard to contend with.  Look, the bottom line is that they are gonna put me on some type of payment plan.  Most likely it’ll be $500 a month, far, far less than what I’ve been paying.   That will be a relief, cash flow wise.   I’ll be able to breathe a little and relax.

But it’s not known.  It could be another month of the same old ‘report to the revenue officer.’  It could be that my 2005 returns are wanting, and they want more info that I’ll have a hard time supplying.   It could be that they are gonna say I owe more.  Anything is possible.

Tom Petty says that the waiting is the hardest part.

Dealing with the weight is a wait and a distraction I don’t know–quite how to process.  On the one hand, it’ll either be good news or no news.

But the waiting is the hardest part.

I am mentally having a hard time with it.  I know that one of the biggest joys of my life is coming in about 6 months when I write that final “F-off” check to the IRS.  I want that to happen this year, in 2009, in the heart of the recession.   But the distraction of the maybe is something that the linear part of me can’t deal with.  I’m having a difficult time focusing on my lists & tasks.

I know–a little bit–what it’s like to have a loved one with a grim prognosis.   The uncertainty kills.  It’s part of the reason why mortgage brokers got so much money.  They bore the burdens of financial uncertainty along with their clients.  I’ll let you all know what happens, it’ll be sometime in July that the finish line will honestly and actually be in sight.  That I’ll be able to dash for it, and get the merciless evil that is the IRS out of our life.

Then I’ll work on the rest of my debt.

Miles to go, but I see the path at least.

More later.  Cutting some videos for thesis blogs.

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

How Do You Harness Uncertainty?

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How could that be?  I was making good money.  But I was trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it.  Never was gonna happen.  The drowning feeling, the mystery surrounded me for years.   I had plenty o good moments.  And last year, I cut my debt from 6 figures to 5 figures.   (Presently, including EVERYTHING, ~$80k  and we’re gonna have a full & final accounting shortly).

I’ll tell you:

1. No Accounting: To this day I have no clue where my money went.  I would mindlessly buy $20 worth of nothing at Target and then go home.  I had no coherent plan (still in its nascient form).  I would put stuff on the debit card.  Solition:  A “no exceptions” cash only policy.
2. Trying to do too much/not having patience: I tried hard to pay it all all at once.  I moved the hell out of the needle on the IRS, but everything else was chewing me up.  My cash position bit.  I wanted to pay all of everything.  I knew–last year at least–that the problem was acute.  I didn’t have a way to pay it.  Solution:  (see paragraph)
3. Not declaring victory. It’s gruelling paying off debt, being cash starved.  Last year, I paid off a bunch through surrender of retirement and other means.  I moved my net worth, too, even considering the tax penalties and bloodbath that was the market.   But I didn’t celebrate, say  when I hit milestones.   (The big one that’s coming is this: IRS < 25k).   Solution:  Figure out a reward, and feel good about it.
4. Denying Reality: I do have ability.  I can sell.  I can help.   I have had 35,000 months more than once.   But, I would double count my months and pipeline and not be finely in tune with what I was making, had made and was about to make.   This meant that I always thought that a massive payment-to-debt was a day or two away.  It never came, and I continued to tread water.  Solution: Read The Simple Dollar and then go get Your Money Or Your Life.   Even 1/2 way through it it’s UH-MAY-ZING what a difference it makes.

Solution to #2:  I had a bunch of debts that weren’t going anywhere.  I let them be.  So, I had a $1200 credit card balance that was lingering for months.  Initially, I went to a revenue system.  4% of my top line revenue went to that payment.  That was a big help.  If I got a $1,000 check?  4%, baby.  $3,000 check?  4%, baby.   That was the first technique that pulled me out, because honestly, if you got whacked by 4% you’re probably not gonna feel it.

The second way I solved the problem was something I learned from @philiphodgen.  Daily payments.  Take debt divide by 100.   I just started initiating that one with a $4700 debt.  I’m 12 days in, and I’m doing 3% gross revenue and 47.00 a day.  I’m held more accountable to this than I had been in the past.  It’s a blast seeing that my debt is going down quickly.

I’ll move on from money tomorrow,

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems

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So it’s “smart” to use OPM to build your business.

You’re a “sucker” if don’t leverage the hell out of your ability to work and earn.

The underlying message here is this: that there is a leveraged ratio that doesn’t have diminishing returns.   The more money you spend on spinning some flywheel, outsourcing routine tasks, the more of a businessman you are.

You shouldn’t be working that hard.  Have the ‘good life,’ relax, hire people to work for you.  Hard work is dead.   Ahem.

Work “on” and not “in” your business.   You know?  And that is a sirens song.  But the gist is that people are looking to…not work “hard.”  People are looking to escape the workaday tedium and the application of effort that it takes to make something cool & beautiful.

Sure, Michael Gerber has his uses.  I’m not gonna discount the goodness that he’s brought into the world.  Having a path up and an idea that you have to standardize yourself is cool.   But it begets entitlement and laziness.  It takes away from the standard of excellence.

Throwing Money At A Problem = Loserdom

When I read the copy for the Outsourcing Conspiracy, Brian Clark and Jon Morrow understood this.  If you’re not an owner you’re not gonna achieve that standard.  When I call people, I can always tell when I’m dealing with someone who’s ass is on the line.

You don’t leverage yourself because you bring complexity and fragility into your life.  You have to manage people, to chase people with less spark, with a need for security over excellence.  And it’s not possible to do.   It’s got serious diminishing returns.  You might do less paperwork (drudgery), but you’ll do more stress and juggling.

What’s better?  Making $150k a year by hustling and doing the work, say on $180k in revenue?  Or making $180k on $350k in revenue?

When I look at the people I admire they don’t have the same attitude towards outsourcing.   They love their businesses.  They love what they are doing.  And they don’t avoid the work.  They become more efficient, and delegate some of it, but at the core they feel good when work is done & done right.

Getting tinfoil hatty on y’all: who wants you to have complexity?  Folks that sell financial products and services.  The more fragile you are, the more likely you are to take a loan to get you the flexibility ‘you need.’  Flexibility comes with a cost: a background stress load that is always there, and is always creeping into your life.

Flexibility is better than servitude.  The pimps and hustlers get small businesses to have to make poor, moneynow decisions because they are owned by the banks and financiers.

As for me, I’m gonna pay my entire debt off.   I’ll have–tomorrow–a sidebar with what the debt is.  I’ve cut it from $170k to just over 80.  Miles to go though.

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

Why Michael Gerber, Tim Ferris, Are Wrong: Outsourcing Is Complexity.

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Not looking for help on those atm, kthanks.  Trying to make peace with my wiring.

Point is there are so many qualities that, done right and without a limit make someone really spectacular.  Consider:

• Getting things done FAST.
• Being totally ACCURATE
• Being CHEAP
• Being Luxurious
• Being flexible.
• Being  focused.

In many cases all desirable traits.  But fast fights accurate.  Cheap fights luxurious.   Flexible and focused get into tussles.  Yet we want–or managers want to have ALL those qualities.  To be some sort of shamman of everything.

Now, I believe that people who get their biases are better.  DiSC profiles and their ilk are useful for understanding–not overcoming–the way you’re wired.  Being wired to do things a certain way isn’t bad.  Having a skill or bias isn’t bad.

Trying to be more of something your not is a surefire path to insanity though.  Trying to get someone that needs to (in their soul) do things 100% accurately to speed up some is dumb.  Putting them in a position (editor) where accuracy is the only currency that is valued is a big damm win.   Feeling bad about how your wired is dumb.  Usually.  You might be a sociopath and–of  course–it’s 100% fine to feel bad about that.  But, since you’re a sociopath it’s unlikely that you will.

I digress tonight.

The real thing is that we loathe most our weaknesses of character when they appear in others.  We admire most the things we wish we had.  But we gotta make peace with that and try to figure out what we do right & do it right & play up to that strength.

Be world class at what you’re wired for.  Make big gains in what comes naturally, and get a bit better at what doesn’t.  But don’t beat yourself up for being a pitbull or a golden retriever.  They’re both useful dogs.

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

Play To Your Strengths. (Grokking Marcus Buckingham)

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Al Pacino’s character in “A Scent of A Woman.” had one of the coolest speeches ever.  He was a ruthless dude, a poet’s soul that barked order’s at the world to obscure his mediocrity.  I know the type.

This speech, and another one where he talks to Charlie and says “It’s all right Charlie. You break my heart son. All my life I’ve stood up to everyone and everything because it made me feel *important*. You do it… because you mean it. You’ve got integrity Charlie. I don’t know whether to shoot you or adopt ya.”.

This above one was the more famous.  About 2/3 of the way through, he says that he knew the right path.  (Start at 4:30) “I have come to the crossroads.  I always knew…what the right path was….but I never took it.”

Amen, brother.  It’s hard.  Right now, it’s hard.  It’s gonna be hard later.

False courage is easy.  People are mostly sheep.  They are mostly afraid.  Notice this?  Any employee of a coproration hasn’t had to do what I do to make a living.  They just have to get sheered.  Over…and over.  Statement of fact.   I’m tougher.  I don’t have that thing in your soul that makes other people’s insanity tolerable (sometimes I generate my own).

Part of me does that.  I will–and do–stand up to anyone.  It’s easy.  It’s easy to pick a fight and it’s easy to pressure morons and liars into doing your bidding.  What they say in the Fight club is true: it’s tough to get someone to fight you.  People back down and wither.  You put pressure on an individual, and they buckle.   You win, you get your way.  But that’s not courage.

But it’s a DISC-D ruse/distraction.  Deal is, bullying people is a distraction.  It’s always easy.    It’s false courage.  It’s stupid.  Even the IRS Agents don’t like my jabs.  Nobody does.  Easy to be a loud dog.  Harder to pick your bullets.

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

Bullying People Is A Distraction: False Courage and a Monday Mea Culpa.

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The first step is figuring out your lifetime income along with your net worth.  REALLY figuring it out, no guesses, get tax forms from the IRS figuring it out.  And it takes time.

Honesty is something that’s come up lately a lot.  I’m not perfect yet.  I want to be better, and get as close to honesty as I can.  Nobody does things perfectly–not me, nobody.  I’m certainly more honest than I was a year ago, and more than I was five year ago.

But most of the lying that we do is lying to ourselves.  I have been a good income earner most of my life.  Had a couple rough years (2001, 2006), but since I started working, I’ve not had that part of the equation be a fail.  I have failed in other areas–and it’s knowing this that allows me to be free from it.  I overspent on advertising.  I never really understood where business was coming from.

When you have a lapse in integrity, it’s important to man up.  To fix it PLUS one.  I had a recent dealing with Infusionsoft that is like that. The salesperson, Lou Caporaletti was lazy.  He offered me a favor that didn’t appear to be within his authority.  He overcharged my credit card.  This was an error, but he acted entitled, like I was doing him a favor when I wanted to be put right.  I didn’t ask for the favor.  He offered, I accepted.  When I wanted to hold him to it, he excused himself from telling the truth by saying, “Hey, it’s not like I was making money on the deal.”

Not a bad guy, but he made a mistake that he refused to correct.  I get 100 hits a day on CRM Reviews, and my Infusionsoft review, when it comes, will be tempered by this horrific experience and the fact hat he felt comfortable doing this.  But, I digress.  He wasn’t dishonest, he was lazy.  He made a promise he didn’t have authority to make, and when it went awry, he didn’t fix it.  The net effect is still dishonesty.

That said, I am seeking myself, and I reamain optimistic about the use of Infusionsoft.  It was built with a lot of care, and I’ll have it set up in a week or so, and let you know how I fare.

Your Mortgage Broker Didn’t Lie: He Just Didn’t Look Things Up

That’s how most lies are.  They are told for the sake of expedience.  People want to appease one another, end tension and get through the conversation.  They say any old thing, lacking precision.  We do that to ourselves.  For years, I didn’t worry about my looming IRS and other financial issues because I can earn money.  (Not as much as I think, my top line is OK but I piss away too much to earn it, and don’t do that math–If I earn $160k and spend 40k to get there, I forget the 40k and think of the 160k).

The lending industry was like that.  Most of the time, the lender just wanted to figure out what the initial rate was, where it capped, and that was it.  They wouldn’t familiarize themselves with the terms, so they’d pitch a deal with reasonably good intentions, the only problem is was that they are lazy, and didn’t bother to look too much up.

The net effect of not being meticulous is dishonesty.  People make mistakes, but not finding the information, not possessing it is the same thing as lying about it. I don’t know if it’s as bad as trying to defraud someone or not.  It’s just not a standard for me.

This post originally came from the Freelance Sales Blog GenuineChris.com If you're reading it elsewhere, this is NOT the cannon. Go ahead and read http://ftherapybook.com sometime.

Honesty, Mortgage Brokers, Subprime

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