If You Want to Know About My Life...

All I want for Christmas is YouTube.

2009-12-22T15:01:00.000-05:00

4th Annual Graham Powell Appreciation Day

2009-12-22T07:56:00.000-05:00

December 22 was the day chosen in 2006 by bloggers grateful to be tracked on Graham Powell's indispensable CrimeSpot.net. Here's to you, Graham.

2009 Best of Me Awards

2009-12-19T06:20:00.002-05:00

In the Comments section, tell me which of my online stories and/or poems first published in 2009 was your favorite:

Fiction

"Last Request" (Patti Abbott's February Flash Fiction Challenge)
"Artifacts" (My seventh C.J. Stone story, in BEAT to a PULP)
"Once Upon a Wedding Cake" (Patti Abbott's Flash Fiction Challenge #5)
"What Brought This On?" (Honorable mention in Asinine Poetry's prose contest)
"Need a Hand?" (Patti Abbott's Walmart Flash Fiction Challenge)
"So Long, Stevie" (The Steve Weddle Mem'l Airport Flash Fiction Challenge)

Poetry

"I Ask Ronni to Arm Wrestle" (Asinine Poetry)
"Road Trip" (Yellow Mama #14)
"Paperback Lover" (Yellow Mama #15)
"Summer Snapshot" (The Houston Literary Review)
"Enchanted" (Asinine Poetry)

Crimespree #33

2009-12-19T05:47:00.001-05:00

The November/December '09 issue of Crimespree features my DVD reviews of Bones Season 4, the Elisabeth Rohm-starring B-thriller Ghost Image, and my Blu-ray review of Superman/Batman: Public Enemies. Thanks as always to Jeremy Lynch and the Jordans.

Deck The Blog...

2009-12-17T07:46:00.002-05:00

I'm a bit ashamed to say the only decorating I've done so far is on this blog. My father used to string lights on every tree on our property. Since my father's passing, my brother has decorated the walkway to our front door. This year, though, everything was set back about two weeks due to the season's usual bugs. The Christmas party will be at my aunt's house, so there's been no urgency to decorate ours.

In a way, it hasn't mattered. I've still been of good cheer and listened to my share of Christmas songs. I haven't expected any great gifts from my extended family for years, but especially in this economy. I can't bring much to the party myself, but I will bring a spirit that welcomes the day's priceless joy and surprises.

UPDATE: I helped my mother hang wreaths on the front door, and she put out some fiberoptic trees. It's nice.

Steve Weddle Mem'l Airport Flash Fiction

2009-12-15T00:01:00.026-05:00

Today is the due date for this self-explanatory flash fiction challenge. The title of my contribution is oddly not a reference to Steve Weddle:

So Long, Stevie

by Gerald So

I cabbed to LaGuardia in a downpour only to discover departure had been emergency-switched to JFK. Another cab took me there, and I boarded with half an hour to spare. Middle seat, last row, Coach.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard American Airlines Flight 1855 to St. Louis. I'm Captain John Smith. Honest. The weather is tricky at the moment. We're having you stay aboard so we can take off as soon as a spot opens up."

Great. Last week I decided I didn't want friends thinking I was too distraught to see Stevie off. This is what I get for booking late.

The rain kept pouring. Half an hour became an hour. Two. Three. I didn't mind. I became more patient as others became less. I had a lot to think about. Damn eidetic memory.

I'd met Stevie six years earlier—spring semester, junior year. Dan caught me singing "The Impossible Dream" before Journalism.

"What's that song from Don Quixote about a woman?" he asked.

I stopped singing to say, "It's The Man of La Mancha, not Don Quixote."

"Whatever. The song, is it 'Carla'?"

"Dulcinea."

"Yeah. You should sing that for Stevie."

I looked up at Stevie. And kept looking up. She was six-one with red hair in long curls. After class, I called Mom and asked if it was okay to marry outside our religion.

When I worked up the courage to ask Stevie out, she gave me the "just friends" talk right there. Shortly after which she began dating Dan. My memory didn't go there, but it could have.

I had to let Stevie go. Look her in the eye, say goodbye, and not think about her serving two years in Nigeria with the Peace Corps.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've begun descent into St. Louis's Lambert Airport. Please fasten all safety belts, and make sure all seats and tray tables are in their full upright and locked positions. Local time is 1:30 A.M."

Five hours behind schedule. At least five hours until the next flight to Denver, then an hour bus ride to Boulder. A whole day gone.

My legs were still asleep when we landed. I forced myself up and got my carry-on from the overhead bin. The man from the aisle seat brushed past me and ran forward. Maybe he forgot which way the restroom was.

The woman from the window seat slipped past me, too. She tackled and handcuffed the man from the aisle seat.

I was still processing what happened when she shouted, "Sir!"

"Me?" I asked.

"I believe this is yours." She held up what looked like my wallet.

My pocket was empty. I checked the wallet. Yup, mine.

"Thank you, Miss..."

She flashed a badge. "Federal Air Marshal."

I let her get a few steps ahead of me escorting her detainee. I'd seen her license for two seconds:

DOB: 12-03-78
OLEYNIK,ALICE
320 DAGGETT STREET
BROOKLYN, NY 11217
SEX F EYES BR HT 5-06

So long, Stevie.

###

Notes

Growing up, I'd take any chance to go to the airport. I couldn't help but imagine where the people had been or where they were going. This story was inspired by an actual five-hour delay on my way from New York to Denver. Fortunately I had two friends along, and we managed to keep each other entertained.

By the way, Federal Air Marshal Alice Oleynik was inspired by the roles of Alicia Coppolla, especially obsessive-compulsive JAG lawyer Faith Coleman.

###

Others Tackle the Topic

Patricia Abbott, "City Airport"
Cameron Ashley, "Airportopia"
Paul Brazill, "Warsaw Dawn"
Chad Eagleton, "My Airport"
Kevin Fenton, "Here is a Heaven"
Kent Gowran, "Holiday Stitches"
John Hornor, "Bangalore Shell Game"
Dorte Jakobsen, "Take-Off"
Dana King, "Shoeless Joe"
Chris La Tray, Untitled
Evan Lewis, "Skyler Hobbs and the Man Who Couldn't Fly"
Matthew McBride, "The Cleaner"
Fester McFardle, "Transgressions"
Dan O'Shea, "Two-Phones"
Bryon Quertermous, "Cinnamon's Last Dance"
Keith Rawson, Untitled
Kathleen Ryan, "Victims of the Night"
Kieran Shea, "Behind the Curtain"
Beatrice Underwood-Sweet, "The Airport"
John Weagly, "The Resurrection at Hasenpfeffer Field"
Steve Weddle, "Terminal"
Chuck Wendig, "Airport Bar Before Boarding"

My YouTube Debut

2009-12-10T09:43:00.002-05:00

Ever since we missed out on visual evidence of the Lineup reading at KGB Bar, I'd been eying a Flip Mino. My brother Henry gave me one as an early Christmas present. I'll get to Lineup content, of course, but for now...

The Nature of the Beast?

2009-12-08T06:42:00.004-05:00

On Naked Authors today, Paul Levine (one of my favorite writers) asks, "Why Are Brilliant Writers Often 'Monsters at Home?'" He points to Patricia Highsmith, Raymond Carver, and Robert Altman, concluding:

Why are so many creative people self-centered and self-destructive? Alcoholics and drug abusers. Self-pitying and self-loathing. Unfaithful spouses and indifferent parents. Is unrepentant narcissism part of the creative gene? Or is it learned behavior? Or...do you disagree with my premise? Are these the exceptions?

I commented:

I don't claim to know enough to disagree with your premise necessarily, but I think one reason many writers seem monstrous off the page is that we hear about the monsters most often. Monsters are more newsworthy than law-abiding, upstanding people.

Also, it's possible that writers--who by definition get to act any way they want through their characters and fiction--are frustrated by the relative restrictions and monotony of life. For a writer, nothing gives the same high as writing. If they are unable to write for whatever reason, they try to replace that high with another.

I don't think this pattern of behavior is limited to writers. All of us would like to keep doing what we love most, and it's difficult to adjust to downtime or forced retirement. It's difficult, not impossible. I wish some of my favorite performers had made the adjustment.

While modesty forbids calling myself brilliant, I have my dark places as everyone does, and writers explore those places daily, not just for crime fiction or crime poetry, mind you, but for anything that involves conflict. By the same token, everyone has hopeful places. I write as much humorous stuff as I do dark stuff. As dark and crude as my poetry and fiction get, I won't resort to cynicism or insult here or in public. Despite disappointments, difficulties, and missed opportunities, I choose to be hopeful. Anyone who makes pessimism a life choice may as well check out now.

Next Year's Lineup

2009-12-05T13:40:00.000-05:00

On behalf of my co-editors, I'm pleased to announce the contributors to The Lineup 3, which will go to print in April 2010:

Patricia Abbott
Joe Barnes
Henry Chang
Reed Farrel Coleman
Sarah Cortez
Michael A. Flanagan
Anne Frasier
James W. Hall
David Hernandez
Amy MacLennan
Carrie McGath
James M. McGowan
Kristine Ong Muslim
David S. Pointer
James Sallis
Jackie Sheeler
Wallace Stroby
Larry D. Thomas
Francine Witte

The Steve Weddle Memorial Airport Flash Fiction Challenge

2009-12-02T09:11:00.002-05:00

I just completed a challenge, but I'm always up for more. This one is the brainchild of Dan O'Shea at the request of Steve Weddle:

Give me your flash on airport life in these benighted times. Same deal, 800 words, give or take.

Let’s aim for Dec. 15 so we can read up in preparation for the holiday travel season. Probably give the good folks a the TSA reason to stick a few of us on their naughty lists. Sign up through the comment box here, let me know where to find your entry, and I’ll post the links come the 15th.

Chapbook Update

2009-12-01T16:23:00.000-05:00

The twenty-four poems that made it through my elimination rounds aren't falling into any book structure I can see. I have a theme and a few solid poems to go with that theme. I plan to use those few poems as inspiration for more. If I don't make the contest deadline of January 31, 2010, I'll consider the time and work I've put in part of my development as a poet.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

2009-12-01T05:22:00.002-05:00

Yes, I've decorated my blog for the holidays. Ironically, I promised myself I wouldn't be like your local mall and do it before December 1, but it turns out I decorated last year on December 8. Oh, well. I'm feeling festive early. Why not decorate when I'm genuinely in the spirit?

I do promise you, though you may see my mental playlist on Twitter, holiday music will never auto-play when you visit my blog.

Come, butler, come bring us a bowl of the best,
And we pray that your soul in heaven may rest,
But if you do bring us a bowl of the small,
May the devil take butler, bowl, and all.

GePoWriMo Results

2009-11-30T18:19:00.000-05:00

You may recall that I declared November Gerald's Poetry Writing Month in preparation for Nerve Cowboy's 2010 chapbook contest. My goal was a contest maximum forty poems, and the tally stands at forty-seven. Coming up with a theme for the book, I've cut twenty-three of the forty-seven for a contest minimum twenty-four poems. Who predicted this would happen? Anyway, I'll spend the next day or two shuffling the poems into order. I may decide to include a few more. Will report back when the manuscript is in the mail.

Walmart Flash Fiction Challenge

2009-11-30T00:01:00.026-05:00

Today is the due date for the challenge posted by Patti Abbott October 27th:

Write a 750-800 word story that is set, or at least partially set, in a Wal*Mart Store.

It could also be a story that refers to such a store in a meaningful way. If you take exception to Walmart, name it something else. We'll know what you mean.

My contribution:

Need a Hand?

by Gerald So

Tim flinched at what Jenny typed in the IM window. He started to sweat. He closed the window. A new one popped up:

(11:39:07 PM) JenNY867: Well?

(11:40:02 PM) NoOneDad: The Seasonal section?

(11:40:22 PM) JenNY867: You know where it is?

(11:40:55 PM) NoOneDad: Yes...

(11:42:05 PM) JenNY867: I'll be there tomorrow night, 8:16. If you're there, fine. If not, fine.

(11:42:30 PM) JenNY867 signed off.

Tim sat at the keyboard the next twenty minutes, chin in hand, tempted. Jenny Hunter had friended him on Facebook a month earlier. He remembered her as head cheerleader and senior class president, on whom he had a crush from fourth through twelfth grade.

He had only joined Facebook to keep tabs on his 14-year-old daughter, Erin. He never expected to find Jenny, much less be propositioned by her.

Was it a trick? His crush on Jenny had been the worst kept secret. Twenty years after high school, was she jerking his chain?

He thought of what she had typed in the window and smiled. "Why not?"

* * *

Tim was surfing fantasy football sites at work when his wife Michelle called. "Can we go to Walmart tonight?"

"Why Walmart?" he said, voice cracking.

"We need a bunch of stuff. Groceries, gift wrap, nail polish... You can get it all there."

He checked his watch. The hands had stopped. "Do they replace watch batteries?"

"Yes, actually."

* * *

Saved that day by his computer's clock, Tim left work at six. He called from the car to see what was for dinner.

"I haven't had time to make anything. Erin's cramming for a math test with pizza, but there's a Subway in the Newbury Walmart."

Tim and Michelle pulled into the Walmart parking lot at 7:03 on his car's dash. He tried to eat fast, but not so fast that she'd notice. After dinner, Michelle went off on her own, and Tim went looking for the watch department.

There was no one behind the watch counter. He waited, but no one stepped in. He waited some more, his eyes fixing on a digital watch that read 8:41. He reached for his cell phone. Not there. Must have left it in the holder after calling Michelle from the car. He ran for the Seasonal section.

The aisles were mostly empty. You could easily duck into one of them, and... Heck, if he and Jenny stood close enough, someone looking right at them might not know what they were doing.

"Need a hand?"

Tim whirled, hoping to see Jenny, but it was another woman in a blue Walmart shirt. "Uh, no, thanks."

A minute or two later, Michelle appeared with a full shopping cart. "Ready to go, honey."

Giving up, Tim followed his wife to Checkout. Back in the car, he turned the key and glanced at the dashboard clock: 8:20.

###

Notes

When I visited my local Walmart to research this story, I also needed my watch battery replaced. There was no one at the watch counter on a Saturday night and after wandering the aisles a while, I lost track of time and was fooled by a watch that hadn't been set for Standard Time.

Jenny Hunter's lascivious suggestion came to me later and inspired the story as well. I decided to be oblique with it as an added challenge.

###

Others Tackle the Topic

Patricia Abbott, "Loss"
Jack Bates, "The Bayou Beast: A Requiem"
Eric Beetner, "Inside Man"
Fleur Bradley, "Aubergine"
Cormac Brown, "Acceptance"
Jimmy Callaway, "The New Walmart"
John DuMond, "WWGD?"
Katt Dunsmore, "Laundry Day"
Mark Durfee, "Attention, Walmart Shoppers..."
Chad Eagleton, "The Black Friday of Daniel Maddox"
Loren Eaton, "Thirty-One Hundred"
Garnett Elliott, "Freak Shift"
Alan Griffiths, "Concrete Jungle"
Dorte Jakobsen, "WalMartyres"
Dana King, "One Stop Shopping"
Evan Lewis, "Skyler Hobbs and the Rollback Bandit"
Todd Mason, "Discount Primrose"
John McFetridge, "Part-Time"
Dan O'Shea, "Black Friday"
Eric Peterson, "A Place Marked Malmart"
Bryon Quertermous, "Super People of Walmart"
Keith Rawson, "A Pink Tidal Wave"
Stephen D. Rogers, "In and Out"
Randy Rohn, "Getting Messed Up"
Kathleen A. Ryan, "Walmart, I Love You"
Sandra Seamans, "The Gimmick"
Kieran Shea, "One in the Big Box"
Jay Stringer, "The Tin Foil Heist"
Albert Tucher, "The Hideous Lime Green Truth"
John Weagly, "Friday Night with the Tijuana Wolfman"
Steve Weddle, "Code Adam"

The Boylan's Back in Town

2009-11-26T10:05:00.012-05:00

Apologies to Thin Lizzy. The entry title refers to my friend, Leverage writer Christine Boylan. Once upon fourteen years ago, nine of us worked on Font, Hofstra's literary magazine. Flash forward to Tuesday night, and four of us, with significant others and kids, got together for pizza (for which Christine refused to let anyone else pay) at my house, or as I call it, The Fortress of So-litude.

I'm thankful most of my Font friends and I have stayed not just in touch, but close. Thanksgiving to me, though, is not only an annual occasion. I'm grateful for every second, for the kindness I'm shown, for the ability to work with others toward a collective good.

L to R: Deshant Paul, Christine and her fiance Eric Heisserer, me, John Ricotta and his daughters

The Big Bang Theory: "The Vengeance Formulation"

2009-11-24T11:15:00.000-05:00

At BSCreview, I weigh in on my favorite episode so far this season.

Five Favorites from '09

2009-11-24T06:23:00.005-05:00

With the year winding down, Crimespree Cinema's Jeremy Lynch has invited authors, reviewers, and bloggers to offer five favorites of '09 from film, television, or DVD:

FILM

Star Trek - As a Trekkie (Well, someone who just watched Star Trek: TOS, TNG, DS9, Enterprise, and the movies. Okay, a Trekkie.), I went into JJ Abrams's franchise reboot with low expectations. I was pleasantly surprised and thoroughly entertained in a way I haven't been for years. The actors called to mind iconic characters without becoming caricatures. I'm truly hopeful for the future.

Up - A touching, ultimately optimistic movie for young and old. The casting and interplay between Ed Asner and Jordan Nagai are right on. Up succeeded for me where Wall-E fell short.

TV

Castle - As a loyal Browncoat, I'd probably watch any member of the Serenity crew in anything. Castle was a bit too light for my taste when it premiered in March. Luckily it performed well enough to go into a second season in September, and it feels as if the chemistry between Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic has been perfected. The show is hitting its mark as a lighter procedural.

White Collar - USA Network's latest character-driven series brings together a master thief and an equally adept, dogged FBI agent. The writing has met that challenge. New York shows in a uniquely bright, yet authentic light. I haven't even mentioned the actors yet, the individually and collectively great Matt Bomer, Tim DeKay, Willie Garson, Tiffani Thiessen, Sharif Atkins, and Natalie Morales.

DVD

The Middleman: The Complete Series - A masterful mix of rapid-fire pop culture homage and completely original banter between classic square-jawed hero The Middleman (Matt Keeslar) and modern sarcastic Wendy Watson (Natalie Morales).

Asinine Prose: "What Brought This On?"

2009-11-17T08:56:00.001-05:00

This past summer, my story "What Brought This On?" received an honorable mention in Asinine Poetry's prose contest. Editor Richie Narvaez has posted the story this month. Enjoy.

Smallville: "Idol"

2009-11-13T21:48:00.000-05:00

Starstruck Wonder Twins Zan and Jayna (David Gallagher and Allison Scagliotti) try to help spread the Blur's legend, but their ill-conceived saves only allow Metropolis's corrupt DA to smear the Blur. Meanwhile, Lois has resorted to seeing a psychiatrist to interpret her continuing fantasies about Clark.

This may be my new favorite episode, full of great dialogue and hints of the Superman mythos including Lois's protectiveness of Clark/Superman when the chips are down and Clark's putting on the famous glasses. Kudos to writer Anne Cofell Saunders.

Unlucky, you say?

2009-11-13T15:21:00.001-05:00

It's been a good week for me, having reached my chapbook contest goal of forty poems early yesterday. I've decided on a theme and eliminated some of the forty to that end. I'm going to take the rest of the month and see if I can build back up to forty, eliminate further, etc.

Also, I just finished polishing my Walmart flash fiction story. My story and the rest will be posted November 30.

Poetry Progress Report

2009-11-10T06:46:00.002-05:00

As of dawn on GePoWriMo Day 10, I have 33 poems for the 2010 Nerve Cowboy Chapbook Contest. My goal is the contest-maximum 40 by November 30. If I go over, I'll have a wider selection to draw from for my entry. Follow me on Twitter to track my progress to the minute.

Meanwhile, Jack T. Marlowe has accepted my poem "Best $90 I Ever Spent" for Issue 7 of Gutter Eloquence Magazine, due out January 2010. Intrigued?

Short Stories vs. Novels

2009-11-10T06:36:00.001-05:00

On Murderati the other day, Allison Brennan blogged about writing short stories versus novels:

Readers, do you like reading short stories? Novellas? Or prefer to stick only with full-length novels? ...Writers, do you like reading and/or writing short stories?

I commented:

I've always enjoyed concise writing and written concisely, but I'm not satisfied reading or writing just short stories or novels. I think the scope of a story should determine its length. For the classic journey that changes the hero on several levels, a novel can show that journey at a more believable pace than a short story. Conversely, a short story is often better than a novel for showing the immediate effects of a single event. A short story allows you to give the event its due while a novel would force you to draw out its effects perhaps unnecessarily or implausibly.

I am not a Yankee fan(atic).

2009-11-05T08:21:00.003-05:00

The team I've rooted for since age 3, the New York Yankees, won their 27th championship last night, and I slept through most of the final game. After watching Cliff Lee dominate Game 1 with a friend, I slept straight through A.J. Burnett's Game 2 win.

Five years I ago, I stayed up and paced through every minute of the Yankees' historic collapse against the Boston Red Sox, and I was very conscious not to get overexcited this time around. To be honest, I had several work commitments throughout the playoffs—the Lineup reading, my weekly reviews for BSC, and GePoWriMo chief among them—that prevented sheer devotion to baseball.

I did follow the Yankees through the regular season, and more than anything I'm aware of how difficult it is to go out and perform, blocking out the media and fan attention. I'm happy they won, but I'm also glad not to let baseball distract me from performing, so to speak.

GePoWriMo Has Started

2009-11-02T16:09:00.000-05:00

That's Gerald's Poetry-Writing Month. I've done it unofficially the past two years preparing 24-page entries for the Nerve Cowboy Chapbook Contest. This year's goal is a contest-maximum forty pages. Up, up, and away.

Fascinating.

2009-10-31T08:00:00.009-04:00

Any comments on my virtual Halloween costume this year?