Where's My Glow?

The Vlog About Nothing

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:13:00 +0000

Kinda like Seinfeld, but, you know, not at all.

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Nomophobia Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:47:00 +0000

Hey Flogstars,

I'm jittery. And it's nothing to do with spending a night in a repulsive holiday home with a mouse infestation.

It's because up here, I have no phone coverage. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero (have you noticed that N and Z completely steal all the words meaning nothing? Letter hogs!!!).

I have Nomophobia. It sounds like the fear of yummy things, but it's not... it's the fear of being without your phone. Dun dun DUUUUUN!

Whilst I do actually have my phone with me, I have no signal because my provider don't have any towers up this way. I could use another tower but the 4S doesn't let you turn off 3G - first world problems, right? Hey, after spending a night inhaling mouse shit, I'm allowed to be a bit shirty, gimme a break.

What makes it so much worse is that I have people emailing and tweeting me saying "Did you get my text?". Nooooo I didn't! What did you say? Was it important? Was it funny? Please don't think I'm ignoring you!!! Don't leeeeaaaaveeeeee meeeeeeeee!!!. Or *ahem* you know, something like that.

Do you have Nomophobia? Will a bit of a Flog help???

How to FlogYoBlog

Follow Where's My Glow?
Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love

get the InLinkz code

Super Easy Creamy Chicken Riga-Tricky

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 01:56:00 +0000

This is the lucky last recipe of my week of scheduled Gourmet Glow posts (that were so rudely interrupted by my post on our horrid holiday home experience).

See, I was offered the chance to win sponsorship to BlogHer by whipping up some recipes using the new Kellogg's All Bran Fibre Toppers, so I've jumped at the chance. The opportunity to win a trip to New York to attend BlogHer by writing about some recipes I've created using a product that adds fibre plus vitamins and minerals to your diet? I CAN DO THAT! I'm a crunchy mama, this stuff is right up my alley and since I'm loving experimenting with cooking lately, it seems like this competition was made for me. You can check out all the recipes submitted by searching the #AllBran hashtag on twitter.

So back to my recipe - what do you serve for dinner when you want a home cooked meal but are too tired to put in much effort beyond a bit of grabbing things out the pantry and stirring? Chicken Riga-Tricky!

This is one of those great dishes that is so simple because it's based on pantry staples and whatever veggies you happen to have on hand. It's also great to make at the end of the week to get clear out all the veggies that are almost passed their prime in the fridge so that you don't throw it all out and waste it.

Tricky loves this stuff and it's on pretty high rotation at our place! Because it freezes so well, I always make a large batch and divide it up for Map Guy's lunches and last week made up a batch for my friend who has just had a new baby. Plus it only uses one pot and and one pan so it's definitely a winner!

Creamy Chicken Riga-Tricky

Can't really see the Fibre Toppers - they are in there though!

Ingredients (serves 6)

500g chicken, diced
500g rigatoni
1 onion, chopped
150g spinach
5 mushrooms, sliced
1/2 zucchini, sliced
1 jar of pasta sauce
1/2 tub of reduced fat cream cheese
1/2 cup of Kellogg's All Bran Fibre Toppers (which contains 33% of your daily fibre requirement!)
1 teaspoon of chilli (optional)

Method

Prepare pasta according to directions and set aside - don't overcook it or it will be Chicken Riga-Flatty
Cook onion and chicken in a large fry pan until well browned
Add mushrooms and zucchini, fry gently for two minutes
Pour the entire jar of pasta sauce and stir until well coated
Add handfuls of spinach allowing it to wilt - if you put it all in at once it will go every or *ahem* so I've heard
Stir in the cream cheese allowing it to melt and turn the sauce from a bright red to a creamy orange
If you're going to add chilli, do it now! I like mine to have a nice kick
Add in your Fibre Toppers now so they retain some of their crunch, if you do it too early they'll dissolve a bit and won't be visible in your photo (d'oh!) but you'll still get the nutritional value from them so don't panic
Combine the sauce and the rigatoni, stir through and serve as is or with shaved Parmesan on top

**For a lower fat version you can just leave out the cream cheese and throw in a few olives**

Click here to see a nutritional panel I created for this meal - I should get points for the effort of making one of these panels, right??
This is NOT a sponsored post, but it is a competition entry for Kellogg's to win sponsorship to BlogHer

Fabulous Focaccia

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 02:20:00 +0000

I've definitely been bitten by the baking bug... sadly I haven't been bitten by the 'clean up as you go bug' or the 'don't eat everything you cook' bug. But hey, I'm working on it.

I tend to only bake sweet things so figured it was about time I gave something savoury a whirl, and I was so happy with the result that I think this will become a standard brunch around these parts - well, if I ever had people over for brunch that is.

I raided the cupboard and used what I already had on hand and threw it all in to see what would happen - which for a control freak like me is really strange, but seems to be working well so far!

Tomato, Red Onion & Thyme Focaccia

Olive, Fetta & Cumin Focaccia

Focaccia Ingredients (makes 2 focaccia)

2 tsp dried yeast
1 tsp raw sugar
1 3/4 cups warm water
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
3 3/4 cups bakers flour (or plain flour)
1/4 cup gluten flour
1 tsp salt
2 tsp dried aniseed (optional)
1/2 cup of Kellogg's All Bran Fibre Toppers (1/2 cup contains 25% of your daily iron and folate, and 33% of your daily fibre requirement)

Toppings

1/2 tomato, sliced
1/4 red onion, sliced
1/2 tsp dried thyme (1 tsp if fresh)
4 kalamatta olives, sliced
25g fetta (I prefer to crumble it, but only had the harder stuff to slice)
1/4 tsp dried cumin

Method

Combine yeast, sugar and 1/2 cup of warm water and allow it to bubble up before adding the oil and remaining water, set aside
Sift both flours in to a large mixing bowl, add in aniseed and Fibre Toppers and make sure it's well combined

Add the yeast mix to the flour mix and stir with a wooden spoon until you get a dough - it will be really sticky
Cover with a damp teatowel and allow to rest for an hour in a warm place (I always use the back seat of my car!)
Dough should double in size and will still be extremely sticky so use well floured hands (or a bit of melted copha) to halve the mixture and place on to lined baking trays, shaping as you go, but not too much - keep it rustic
Brush with a little extra virgin olive oil and place sliced tomato, onion and thyme on one, and fetta, olives and cumin on the other
Allow to sit for a further 15 minutes (which I *ahem* kinda forgot to do but they still worked out, phew!)
Bake at 220C for 10-15 minutes or until golden brown
When cooked, allow to cool for a few minutes on a wire rack to prevent the bottom going soggy and voila!

The Fibre Toppers and aniseed can be seen scattered throughout the dough

I served thin slices of both of these before a pasta dish (come back tomorrow for that one) in place of garlic bread as a healthier option. You could serve it with dip for a brunch, but there is enough flavour packed in to these that you really don't need anything else with them!

So I guess I should have a brunch now, yes? Who's coming?

Click here to see a nutritional panel I created for the base focaccia minus toppings - see that? I can make nutritional panels now!!!

This is NOT a sponsored post, but it is a competition entry for Kellogg's to win
sponsorship to BlogHer - I'll tell you about it tomorrow!

Holiday Home Hell

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:29:00 +0000

Map Guy decided he wanted to stay in a beach shack for a week for his birthday. A week away from the world where my main decision was beach or nap? Hrmmm, lemme think. Hells yes!

A bloke at his work rents out his house in Jurien Bay, about two hours north of Perth. A holiday house where you have to bring your own linen and food but cutlery and crockery is provided. I can manage that.

The problems started as soon as we arrived today. We’d asked if we could take our dog and the bloke said sure thing. Now I don’t know about you, but when someone says that yes, the property allows dogs, it does tend to make me think that the property is actually suitable for dogs.

Nup.

We get here to find there is no fucking fence. Are you kidding me? We can bring our dog but you have a giant open yard. Gee, thanks for letting us know.

A quick trip to the hardware store for bright orange plastic fencing and yellow star pickets and now the house looks like a cross between a danger zone and roadworks. All I need is for the bloke next door to lean on the fence with a smoke and a stop go lollipop and you could hardly tell the difference.

So we grab our stuff and head on inside to find, even after a day of cleaning (my inlaws got there the day before) the place is utterly repulsive. Um, I thought this was a holiday house?? Apparently we’re the first people to use it as such – it’s normally a place where they stay when they come up on fishing weekends. A bunch of blokes + fishing + beer = vomitus.

I cannot describe how disgusting this place is… it is covered in mouse poo. On the floor, on the beds, all through the shower, all over the plates, pots, pans and cutlery. Even after a day of being aired out, it stinks like mouse wee – I didn’t even know what mouse wee smelled like until today! The grime on the floor is so thick that you must wear your shoes at all times – you could try to clean it – we did – but there is no point. Years of neglect mean the filth is practically stuck down. I have visions of CSI people coming here and finding all sorts of nasty shit.

Window sill in our bedroom - that's all mouse shit

Shitty cutlery... literally

I opened the oven door and quickly closed it. I’m pretty sure there is something living in there. There is a lot of fur, so maybe it’s a rogue possum? I’d guess it’s a mid 90s model and I don’t think it’s ever been cleaned. How am I meant to cook this week? The whole point of getting a holiday house rather than a hotel was because it would be a home away from home.

The white stuff is all furry - so maybe an albino rogue possum

And now, that night has fallen? There are flying bugs and cockroaches coming out of every nook.

I’m not sure what I was expecting. Not the Hilton, but at least something that doesn’t leave your feet black after walking across the room. Something where I don’t feel the need to dip my entire body in bleach after being inside for 10 minutes. Something that, oh, I dunno, isn’t a biological fucking hazard.

Luckily ~~some loser left these behind~~ they have "provided" these

I just want to cry. But, seeing as my inlaws are sitting right next to me, and I will no doubt hyperventilate if I break the flood gates, I will keep it together and instead scull my wine. Because we all know that being shit faced is way classier than red nosed, snotty, ugly crying.

At this point I’m not really sure what is going to happen. A beautiful, generous friend, who’s family also has a house up here has offered it to us, free of charge, to save our little holiday - I just have to convince the others, who are quite used to camping and roughing it, that we need to leave. I’m overwhelmed by the generosity of my friend, who even started a #saveglowsholiday hash tag… but tonight? Tonight I have to put my sheets on the crusty mouse poo mattress and cry in to my pillow.

To be continued… unless the mice eat me in the middle of the night.

Cranberry and Macadamia Balls

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 08:31:00 +0000

My tastebuds have staged a revolution.

Food that I previously avoided are fast becoming staples in my pantry; olives, soft cheeses, chilli and more. Before you ask, no, I'm not pregnant, it's just that my palate is 'maturing' (just my palate, not my sense of humour).

Since my introduction to cheese not long ago, I've loved to have a little Camembert cheese as a snack, but find having it with just crackers a little bit boring. So I decided I'd try my hand at some gourmet treats to accompany the soft, gooey goodness.

Cranberry and Macadamia Balls

Ingredients (makes 30/serves 10)

200g dried cranberries
85g of unsalted macadamia nuts
1/2 cup of shredded coconut
1/2 cup of Kellogg's All Bran Fibre Toppers (which is 10g of dietary fibre, right there!)
3/4 cup of 99% fat free condensed milk
extra coconut for rolling

Method

In a food processor (or with a knife and a lot of elbow grease) blitz the cranberries until they are finely diced, remove and put in a large mixing bowl with half of the Fibre Toppers
Then blitz the macadamia nuts and the remaining half of the Fibre Toppers in the food processor, and add to the mix - don't do it too much or you'll end up with macadamia butter!
Add in the shredded coconut and combine until you have a gorgeous, multi coloured mix
Pour in the condensed milk and stir until evenly distributed

Condensed milk - try not to dip your finger in!

Using a teaspoon, scoop out the mixture and roll in to small balls, dredge in coconut and place in the refrigerator to firm for 10 minutes

These can also be made with any dried fruit you like - I've made them with apricot and they were a massive hit! Because they're quite sweet, you only need serve two or three to each person along with cheese, crackers and nice glass of wine for a perfect snack adult snack.

Who's joining me? It's BYOW.

Click here to see the nutritional panel I created for these - they're not as bad as you think

This is NOT a sponsored post, but it is a competition entry for Kellogg's to win sponsorship to BlogHer

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Flogiversary Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 22:31:00 +0000

Hey-ho Floggers!

Today marks one year since I first became the foster mama to this lil ol' thing called The Flog. OK so it's tomorrow but near enough is good enough, right? Right!

Now if you're in the UK the traditional pressie for knocking up one year is cotton, in the US it was paper and more recently has become clocks. I'm hoping someone will send me a clock made of paper with a cotton bow on it, just to cover all bases.

It's been an amazing year and I've loved putting my own slant on the Flog by having an edition each week - I hope you've enjoyed it too because then it makes the frantic Thursday night "OMG WTF am I going to write" all worth it.

The Flog isn't mine forever... I think someone called DOCS and is getting my foster license (or whatever it is that you have to have) revoked. So stick around and see what happens.

Enough speculation though, let's Flog.

How to FlogYoBlog

Follow Where's My Glow?
Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love

get the InLinkz code

Pistachio Dukkah Chicken Schnitzel

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:26:00 +0000

You will not find me on any of the reality cooking shows going around at the moment - I cannot cook like that ~~yet~~. The meals I cook, while delicious (if I do say so myself) are never extravagant towering masterpieces that have been "plated up".

Rather, they're simple home cooked meals placed on a plate and put in front of a hungry family after a long day of toddler wrangling and working from home, right on arsenic hour. It has to be easy, healthy(ish), something the three of us will all enjoy and preferably not use 18 different pans that I then have to wash up.

I like being a 'Crunchy Mama' and cooking from scratch because I know exactly what is going in to our bodies, but now... well after this recipe I come with added crunch!

Pistachio Dukkah Chicken Schnitzel

Ingredients (serves 2)

2 skinless chicken breasts
1 piece of bread (I used a country grain mix but it doesn't matter)
1/2 cup of Kellogg's All Bran Fibre Toppers (which contains 33% of your daily fibre needs plus 25% of your daily iron, folate and vitamins B1 and B2!)
25g of pistachio dukkah
1 egg, beaten

Method

In a food processor (or chop by hand if you don't have one) blitz the bread and Fibre Toppers until they combine in to look like big, crunchy bread crumbs - don't over do it, you want most of the Fibre Toppers to remain whole otherwise you'll loose the crunch!
Stir the dukkah evenly through the mix and place it all on a large plate (place a bowl of fruit in the background for the extra health benefits)

Added crunch

Dip your chicken breasts in to the egg and then in to the mix, pressing the crumbs on firmly to coat the entire surface
Cook for 15 minutes over medium heat in a little extra virgin olive oil, turning once, or until golden brown and crunchy (alternatively you can bake them for 30 minutes, or until golden brown, in a 200C oven).
Serve with a side salad of mixed lettuce, red onion and beetroot strips, and sprinkle a few extra Fibre Toppers over it for some extra crunch
Freeze any leftover crumb mixture and use within 3 months

Putting one piece of chicken on an angle is plating up, yes?

So, who's coming to dinner at my place?

Click here to see a nutritional panel I created for this

This is NOT a sponsored post, but it is a competition entry for Kellogg's to win sponsorship to BlogHer!

Pimp My Con

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:22:00 +0000

Yo. Sup?

Now don't be gettin' all up in ma face about ma new way of talkin'. I be the shiz and can talk however I damn well please. Ya dig?

Oh dear lawd it's painful to talk like that!!!

So. I'm gonna do some serious pimping of DPCON12 because it's almost here! In order to do said pimping, I gotta look the part, right:

Ahh that's better. Suits me, yes? You can call me Glowalicious.

And the fabulous team: Kirrily "Ma Grillz" Whatman, Brenda "Bling Bling" Gaddi and Maria "Sparkle Eyes" Tedeschi:

We're a pretty bunch, yes?

We have been working our butts off (yet mine is still expanding) to bring you an awesome conference and it's looking absolutely brilliant so far!

I'm so excited to hear the speakers, especially those jumping up for My Blog, My Story - last year I bawled my eyes out so this year I am coming prepared with tissues (hidden in my feather boa, of course) so that I don't have to have snot up my sleeve again.Or perhaps pimps use silk handkerchiefs? I'll have to look in to this further.

Because I'm ~~an attention whore~~ a go-getter, I'll be jumping up on stage during dinner and hosting an open mic where you can get up and read out one of your best blog posts from the last year. HOW COOL! If you want to be part of it you can email me at trae@digitalparentsconference.com.au (come on, you know you want to).

There are less than a handful of tickets left so vamoose! You get a full access pass to the conference panels a choice of workshops, admission to the expo room (my domain!), the chill out room, morning and afternoon tea, lunch (nom nom I've seen the menu) and the fabulous dinner dance where there will be dinner and dancing (duh!) ~~and you get to meet me~~.

Will I see you there? You'll recognize me cos I'll be the one dressed as a pimp.

I Love Myself Linky #GlowsValentines

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:11:00 +0000

Happy Valentines Day and welcome to the I Love Myself Linky!

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a Valentine's Day post featuring something you love about yourself and why. Got great legs? A sharp wit? Awesome craft skills? Good ear for music? Fabulous negotiating skills? Whatever it is, it has to be something about yourself that you L-O-V-E!

Throughout the day I'll be tweeting the links of those who linky up with the #GlowsValentines hashtag so keep an eye out!

So grab a button and link up!

Dear Glowless

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:10:00 +0000

Dear Glowless,

Happy Valentine's Day!

A little bird told me (no, not Twitter, though it could've been, you're on there so much) that you're feeling a bit down at the moment so I just wanted to tell you that you are amazing. Awesome, even.

You don't believe me, I know. But it's true.

I'm so proud of you for going out and enrolling in the cake decorating course you've been eyeing off for over ten years. You finally took the first step and I know it took a lot of guts because you're so afraid to fail. You're petrified the gorgeous creations in your head won't be interpreted by your hands and the finished result will look lame... and that people will think less of you.

But you know what? Even if it's not perfect, it'll be great. Because you tried when you didn't know what the result would be, and for you, that's a big thing. HUGE.

And that's what I love about you... well, about me. Because if you haven't guessed, we're the same person. Confused yet? Yeah me too. I love that even when you are so afraid and so anxious you can barely breathe, that you'll push through and do it anyway to try and get yourself out of a slump.

So, Miss Glowless, when you're unsure of the path ahead, take small steps, one foot in front of the other, and feel your way... fuck knows you can't even see where you're going right now so it's the only way to get there. And you will get there.

Go gently,

Love Glow xxx

Join the linky here!

FlogYoBlog Friday: The #GlowsValentines Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:52:00 +0000

Happy (really early) Valentine's Day, Floggers.

In four days time it's the one day of the year where, if you're in a relationship, you're expected to spend a shite load of money "proving" you love someone, and if you're not in a relationship, you get to look around and see all the other couples engaging in disgusting public displays of affection and being made to feel like a second class citizen for being single.

I say screw 'em. I suggest we boycott the day. Well, not entirely... I'm suggesting (and hoping you'll get on board or I'll look like a complete loser the way I did last time I invited people to post on my wall and ONLY ONE PERSON DID) that we shake things up a bit. What I'll be hosting on Tuesday February 14th is a "I Love Myself Linky". You can write a post, write on my Facebook Wall, take a picture with Instagram and Tweet using the #GlowsValentines hashtag, a reason you love yourself.

It might be a personality trait, a skill, a body part, whatever. But it's a way of saying Happy Valentines day to the most important person in your life. YOU (nawwww how completely sucky but completely true). Whatever it is about you, no matter how big or small, that makes you think "You know what, I'm pretty awesome".

If you can't think of one, ASK SOMEONE ELSE! So many people see the awesome inside of ourselves when we can't. Go on, I dare you. ASK. I'll be asking Map Guy and be using it as a way to climb out of the Emo Pit I find myself in right now.

I hope you'll join me. Not only so you can have fun thinking of ways that you're awesome, but so that I don't look like a tool.

But for now, let's Flog.

How to FlogYoBlog

Follow Where's My Glow?
Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love

get the InLinkz code

Get your shit together

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:14:00 +0000

I really need to get my shit together, I'm 30 now, no excuses.

In the last few ~~weeks~~ days I've gone totally emo. I've been eating everything in sight and taking mopey, arty farty self-portraits. I've even been posting attention seeking, pathetic tweets in the hope that someone would say "you're not a completely worthless person". I phished for compliments... I hate it when people do that. Loathe it. Get over yourself, I think, see a bloody therapist and stop filling up my Twitter stream with your emo ramblings.

I am nothing if not a grade A hypocrite.

I am extroverted, in the true sense of the word. It doesn't necessarily mean a bright and bubbly, outgoing person, though I can be (Oscar worthy acting, remember? Meryl Streep took lessons from me), it means I rely on the energy of those around me. Being alone with my thoughts sends me in to a tailspin. I don't like my own company, never have. Perhaps it's why when I retreat, it's to Twitter... you're never alone when you have Twitter (spoken like a true geek).

I don't just take on the positive energy of those around me, but the negative as well. I soak in their emotions, like a warm bath, until I'm pruney, overwhelmed and feeling utterly hopeless. Their issues become my problems. Their loss becomes my heartache. Their desperation becomes my depression.

Part of myself that I hate, is the inability to compartmentalize and differentiate between myself and others. I don't just take on someone's emotions but I take on their personality as well. If I'm around you long enough, I start being you. That freaks the fuck out of a lot of people (not that I blame them, it would freak me out too), so, as a result, I keep my distance. Which means I'm back to my own, warped thoughts to keep me company.

It's a morose not-so-merry-go-round of trying to be near people then running away so I don't get too close. A tightrope balancing act that I'm yet to master, and there's no bloody net underneath to catch me. I'm sure there's a few more circus metaphors in there but I can't think of them right now.

Alcohol and twitter have become my crutch. Don't like your own thoughts? Go and read someone elses or drink until your own thoughts slur and you can no longer understand them. My saving grace is that Tricky is still breastfeeding and I know he'll be awake and wanting milk bright and early the next morning... but it kinda freaks me out that that is the only thing stopping me from completely annihilating myself some nights.

I've been actively encouraging him to wean lately, and it's partly so I can have my body back and put in it whatever I want, whenever I want ~~to excessive levels~~. Who does that? Seriously. Sorry, kid, you can't have this nutritious, antibody filled liquid gold any more cos mama needs to get trashed.

So no, I don't have my shit together, not by a long shot. But, if I put edible glitter in my wine, then at least my shit sparkles. I'm like a goddamn unicorn or something.

Don't panic. Tomorrow I'll post a recipe and we can forget this ever happened. As you were.

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Palmcard Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:29:00 +0000

How to FlogYoBlog

Follow Where's My Glow?
Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love

get the InLinkz code

Butterscotch Self-Saucing Puddings

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 23:50:00 +0000

For some reason I get the urge to bake when my cupboards are bare and it's after hours so I can't run out to the shops to buy sugar/milk/eggs. It's also the reason why I tend to make up my own recipes and substitute ingredients because sometimes, well, you just need dessert.

This is what happened last night when I had a sudden urge for pudding. I didn't have any golden syrup left having used it all making three tonnes of gingerbread at Christmas... so I substituted honey and just hoped that it wouldn't taste awful.

The result? Divine! I don't think I'm even going to bother making this the 'real' way because these were soooo good.

Butterscotch Self-Saucing Puddings

Ingredients:

1 cup self-raising flour, sifted
1/3 cup brown sugar
65g margarine, melted
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
2 tbsp honey
1 1/4 cup boiling water

Method:

Combine flour and 1 tbsp of the sugar in a bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk melted margarine, egg and milk until combined then pour in to flour and stir til mixed
Divide mixture in to four greased ramekins and sprinkle remaining brown sugar evenly over the top of each one
Combine boiling water with honey and gently pour over each of the puddings - if you pour over a spoon it will prevent the sugar being displaced and the batter rising up in globs
Place on a tray (lined in case they bubble over) and put in the oven at 180C (160C fan forced) for 25 minutes

Like magic, the liquid goes to the bottom and the pudding rises to the top - It's quite possibly voodoo so be careful. I take no responsibility if your pudding decides to poke pins in a doll version of you.

I know it will be hard, but let the puddings sit for a few minutes for the sauce to thicken up - this is also a handy tip should you wish for the skin on the inside of your mouth to stay there.

They'd taste really good with vanilla icecream... but I didn't have any of that either. I'll never be a bloody food blogger without staples like these in my house!

10 Reasons Why I'm Not Having Sex With You Tonight

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:59:00 +0000

Oh look at you clicking over here to check out my sex life, you pervert!

I figured it was about time to get my Cranky Pants on about someone trying to get my Cranky Pants off, so if you're in any way related to myself or Map Guy, you might wanna click away now. Alternatively, feel free to just give me awkward looks the next time we see each other, OK? Great, let's get to it:

10 Reasons Why I'm Not Having Sex With You Tonight

1. I know how you treated the last girl you slept with as another notch on your belt. It shits me off that you're labeled a Casanova for behaving like an animal whereas if I did the same I'd be branded a slut. Assholes annoy me but double standards piss me off even more.

2. Because I don't actually know who you are. We may have had a few drinks, a lot of laughs and danced the night away together, hell, I may have even professed my undying love to you... but I'm not stupid enough to actually go home with a complete stranger.

3. It's midnight, I've been up since 4am dealing with a velcro toddler who is sick/tantruming/just bloody annoying and I'm completely knackered. If you were interested could you have not hinted at it before 9pm when you were playing video games? The only way you're allowed to touch me right now is if you're massaging my aching shoulders (and no, it will most definitely not lead to anything after the day I've had!).

4. I'm surfing the crimson wave / having a visit from Aunt Flo / have the painters in / it's that time of the month / experiencing code red / riding the injured mouse / have my rags / have my period and I really can't be bothered with towels or showers.

5. The sheets are clean. I love the feeling of a clean body on clean sheets - just give me one night to luxuriate in that silky goodness. P.S. The couch is available, let's go there. P.P.S. The kitchen bench is fine, let's go there too.

6. The toddler is awake and calling for me. There is nothing that kills a mood quicker than your child calling out your name when you're ten minutes in to the deed - the only person calling out my name at that time should be you. Time to shut up shop and hang a "Sorry, we're closed" sign on the front of my knickers.

7. You're not my husband.

8. You are my husband.

9. My/your parents are in the next room. I realize they all know we've had sex, we have a child to prove it - but do they really have to hear it? It's kinda hard to feel aroused when you can hear your inlaws breathing, plus, I'm not exactly known for *ahem* being quiet.

10. We have run out of condoms and the last time I even held your hand I got pregnant. The whole two year age gap is overrated, I'm not ready to be up the duff again and I'm not chancing it, buster! Put it back in your pants.

Why aren't you having sex tonight? Don't tell me you have a headache, that excuse doesn't cut it

The Hairy Chef {guest post}

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:58:00 +0000

I met The Hairy Chef a few years ago on Australia Day through a friend of a friend. A big group of us played cricket, drank beer and listened to the Hottest 100... well they did the beer and cricketing, I just waddled around with my big pregnant belly pretending to be awesome in front of these young, funky people. The best part of the day though was all of us trying to reassure his vegetarian girlfriend that the bird boo that had just landed IN HER MOUTH did not mean she had jeopardized her morals.

So who is The Hairy Chef? Well, The Hairy Chef is a swimmer, a baker, a photographer, a writer, a teacher and really hairy. Originally from Perth, he is currently teaching English as a second language in Bogota, Colombia, drinking too much coffee and thoroughly enjoying the prevalence of anatomical augmentations in Latin America. Follow the (surgically enhanced) adventure at www.thehairychef.com, but get your first taste of it right here, right now:

10 Reasons why The Green Grass is not all that green:Traveling Is Never As Much Fun As It Should Be

1. Intestinal Parasites
No matter how hard you try, any extended period overseas will result in extended periods on the toilet and various moments at which you realise you might not make it there in time. Of course, when the toilet on the overnight bus doesn't work, and the only place to go is on the street behind the bus, you come to appreciate the luxuries of toilet paper and throne-style toilets. But when the bus driver pulls away while you're squatting in the street behind the bus, you come to appreciate the luxuries of stable bladders and solid stools.

2. Repacking your suitcase
Nobody likes packing. There's always too much stuff, there's never enough time. And you never use the things you packed in the time you didn't have.

3. THE Conversation
The Hairy Chef: Hi, where are you from?

Tourist: I'm from America. You?

THC: Perth.

T: Blink.

THC: In Australia.

T: Ooooh. Nice.

THC: Blink.

T: So. Where are you going?

THC: North. Via city A, place B and up to C.

T: Blink. Blink.

THC: You?

T: South. Via city D, place E and F.

THC: Sweeeeet.

T: Have you done G yet?

THC: Yeah.

T: It's like a total waste of time, huh?

THC: I loved it.

T: How much did you pay for it?

THC: $10.

T: Blink.

THC: You?

T: $350.

4. Not realising that you don't need to visit everything in the LP
You know that by the time you've spent 3 hours looking for the Automotive Historical Museum that it's high time you started looking for thrills in other places.

5. Not appreciating experiences because you're concentrating on taking the coolest Facebook profile pic to make your friends jealous
Nothing quite beats hiking 5 days up a mountain through snow and rain on 7 packets of instant noodles to get to the top so you can plank for your latest Facebook update.

Planking on Mt Kilimanjaro

6. Eating rice and meat for weeks on end
When you don't know the local words for "I'd like a medium-rare steak served in a bath of jus-de-calf-milk" eating rice and potatoes for 3 weeks makes for a very long, and arduously constipated 3 weeks.

7. Ordering the chicken and getting the sheep's kidney
If you had paid attention in class, you would have avoided ordering a bowl of "vagina soup" in front of a group of nuns, or asking if you can "fuck the bus all the way to town".

8. The "helpful" local
"Yes the museum is three blocks from here. Yes it's open until 6." You arrive to find an stationery store that specialises in varieties of post-its, and is closed.

9. Breaking Cultural Customs
Learning the hard way that certain things in certain places equate to telling a parishioner what you'd like to do to his daughter.

10.Dealing with other travelers who NEED to tell you shit you don't want to know (my personal favourite)
"I left my ex-girlfriend behind. She was a whore. Now I'm here to sleep with married women because a witch told me it was my destiny." (Andre, The German)

Tell me your worst travel story... the grosser the better.

Find The Hairy Chef on Facebook

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Not A Public Holiday Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:07:00 +0000

I love an over cooked snagger,
A cold beer in my belly,
A day off work to enjoy it all,
And cricket on the tele.
But back to work the next day,
It just seems so bloody alien,
Where's my day off to recover?
Fuck this! It's un-Australian!

I know, I know, most of you linking up are mums who work 24/7... but shoddy poetry has it's limits!

Also, massive apologies to Dorothea MacKellar for bastardizing your poem. But *ahem* let's just Flog, OK?

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The thirty before 30 recap

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:35:00 +0000

I figured it's about time I sat down and assessed how I did with my Thirty before 30 list of goals. I've been avoiding it the way you avoid swimming at the beach immediately after dry shaving your legs... because I know I will feel the pain of salt penetrating a thousand tiny, self created wounds.

I rarely set goals because I'm so bad at finishing things and I end up feeling like I've failed because, well, I have failed. Even when I go all gung-ho and promise myself I do it this time, I just don't. Things get in the way; pregnancy, child wrangling, work, life. But mostly my fucked up head.

I have a room full of redundant supplies bought each time I decided to try some new activity or set a goal because I don't do things by halves. I am committed to failing in the most spectacular way possible. This year I will do more art = a room full of canvases, paints and paintbrushes. This year I will start my own makeup business = a metric tonne of eyeshadow and false lashes. This year I will meditate and spend more time on me = three books on Buddhism and mindfulness plus a fancy pants meditation CD. All gathering dust.

The final result is that I'm left feeling like a tool for yet another year of not accomplishing anything with the added bonus of feeling guilty about wasting money on so much stuff I never use. Especially when I could spend it on important, expensive things like wine or medication or other useful things.

Having the goals written down, even on the internet, doesn't spur me on, doesn't motivate me. So the list has sat here, for almost a year laughing at me, mocking me. So, rather than get all emo about it (oops, too late) I'm pulling on my big girl pants and assessing the list. Let's see what I failed to do, and what I managed to do despite being the Queen of Procrastination thus surprising us all, mmkay?

1. Finish renovating the house
Fail. OK so we're not starting off well. Our walls are still without paint and our yard is a disgrace. I had huge plans for a vege patch - I was so excited. Sadly the excitement diminished when I saw how expensive it was to buy soil to replace our barren sand.

2. ~~Buy a new pair of shoes~~
I achieved this. Three times over. I will consider this a spectacular example of when goal setting goes well. Yay me.

3. ~~Go on a holiday with Map Guy and Tricky~~
Check! Ten days in paradise with my boys was amazing.

4. ~~Attend my Dad’s 60th birthday celebration and spoil him rotten with presents~~
We had a surprise dinner for my Dad's 60th. Because my mum didn't want to ruin the surprise, when he got dressed in shorts and a tshirt she didn't tell him to get changed, meaning he rocked up to the restaurant, where everyone else was nicely dressed, looking rather bogan. He was so embarrassed and I was furious at my Mum.

5. Start dancing lessons with Map Guy
Fail. It's a double fail because I bought us lessons and we never attended. And I wonder why I never have any fucking money!?!?

6. ~~Expand Where’s My Glow?~~
When I wrote the goal list I had 106 followers on the widget and I wanted to get to 200. It ticked over to 600 just the other day. I know it's not a real indicator of success or anything, but I'm not going to lie, seeing that number makes me feel good.

7. ~~Ask for help when I need it~~
Went back on medication, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. I'm awesome.

8. Read and comment on more blogs
Half Fail. I did this for a long time. I would read and comment on every single post that was linked to FlogYoBlog Friday. And then a combination of working on the conference, getting a writing job, Tricky becoming an adventurous toddler and still wanting to have some semblance of life (combined with poor time management and kick ass procrastination) means I now hardly read any. Not even the ones I subscribe to. I am a bad, bad, blogger.

9. ~~Get my hair done~~
Woo, I did this! That drag stripe was getting huge.

10. ~~Cook more food from scratch~~
Just call me Martha. Quiches, slices, gingerbread, shortbread, and cake pops! I even made up my own recipe for Cheesecake and Oreo Macaroons because I was feeling smug.

11. ~~Attend the Aussie Bloggers’ Conference~~
Ooooh yeah. And it was amazing. Almost time for the next one!

12. ~~Clean out my kitchen cupboards~~
I did this twice. Surely I can cross something else off because I did this more than was necessary? C'mon, gimme a break!

13. Have a facial
Fail. I didn't even get a facial in Kota Kinabalu when it would have cost $3.50 for an hour. Shame on me for not exploiting a poor country and an awesome exchange rate.

14. ~~Keep breastfeeding Tricky~~
I've considered weaning Tricks at least once a week for the past few months. But breastfeeding is bloody handy - it's so damn easy to comfort him when he falls, lull him to sleep if he's unwell, and gives me a moment to just sit and be with him. I don't want to be still feeding him when he's at school, that is a little much for me... but I don't know when he'll wean. He's a boob man, I don't see him giving it up without a fight.

15. ~~Enter more competitions~~
Again this is one that I did for a while, then stopped doing, especially for blog competitions. I felt bad commenting on a blog that I hadn't been to for a while just to win a prize. "Oh hi! No I don't read your blog, but I'd love some free shit!"

16. See some amazing live music with Map Guy
Fail. I blame Perth for being so far away.

17. Clean out my wardrobe
Fail. Though I did technically do this... it morphed in to a floordrobe and that's how it's stayed for months and months. Piles of clean clothes on the floor of the bedroom and the (walk in) robe. How can I have so many clothes and bugger all to wear?

18. Hang photos up on the walls
Fail. Oh dear. Three in a row. What makes this worse is that the box of frames has been sitting in my kitchen for about 18 months now, gathering a thick layer of dust. I would dust them but going near them reminds me I haven't hung them up yet and makes me a sad panda.

19. ~~Have a nice 1st birthday party for Tricky~~
It was brilliant. Including the cake I made that had people oohing and ahhing. Is it bad that looking back on that cake makes me swell with pride? I remember the cake more than the day... bad mama.

20. Write some poetry
Fail. Unless you consider a poorly written limerick that won me snow cone maker from Mrs Woog.

21. ~~Spend some time in Albany so that Tricky gets more time with his rellies~~
We've made the six hour trek to Albany a few times in the past twelve months - Me, Map Guy, Tricky and a giant, farting dog. The last time we sung Old MacDonald for three hours and I was convinced that driving in to a tree would be less painful... until we passed a double fatality on the highway and realized a few hours of singing to entertain a bored toddler is NOTHING and I will do it again and again and again without (much) complaining.

22. Clean out the Man Cave (the study where Map Guy spends most of his time

Fail. Errr... kinda. Cleaned it out, moved the desk so it was almost empty and it became the 'guest bedroom' (if you can call a mattress on the floor a guest bedroom?) for when my inlaws stayed over. Then it became the laundry room which morphed in to the junk room. Which is how it is now but with the desk that was removed, crammed back in.

23. ~~Lose weight~~

So technically I achieved this. Although it only really happened because I got extremely ill, lost the ability to swallow anything (including my own saliva) and wound up in hospital. BUT I'm going to hold on to it because after I lost it, I didn't gain it back and then lost a teeny little bit more too. YAY ME! Even though it goes past my birthday, I didn't put on any weight over Christmas for the first time ever. EVER!

24. ~~Make a new friend~~
I have made lots of new friends in the past year, and as someone with a major psychiatric illness and an anxiety disorder this is HUGE.

25. Keep seeing a counselor (keep’s the craziness at bay)
Fail. Although, after the bullshit that happened with the last crackpot was declared me cured after four sessions that consisted of drawing a picture, telling her about my favourite childhood TV character and being told to have a lolly jar and dive in to it whenever I wanted to reconnect with my inner child (even though I was obese - What. The. Fuck?), I have given up for a while and am flying solo. This may prove to be my undoing, let's wait and see.

26. ~~Go on a date with Map Guy~~
I know I did this... but I can't remember where we went. I think it was to the movies.

27. ~~Be more assertive~~
I'm going to chalk this up as a success. I'm not great at it, but I'm getting better. I can even say no now... granted it's only in situations that don't matter and to people who I don't know but that's not the point. Baby steps.

28. ~~Keep attending Mothers’ Group~~
Love my gals. Can't believe I ended up with a group of women who all get along so well. Now two of them are up the duff again I wonder how it's going to change our dynamic. Will we all keep meeting up or will life get in the way? I hope we keep meeting, it's something I look forward to every Friday.

29. ~~Go swimming~~
I swam. Both in pools and the ocean (in Australia and Malaysia)... in front of people! This was actually a much bigger deal to me that I thought it would be. When I first published the list I mentioned I used to swim for a club... I didn't mention why I stopped though and blamed my lack of recent swimming on body issues. It ran a lot deeper than that, and now I'm going to be annoying and not tell you why because I'm not ready to. Sorry.

30. ~~Plan a kick-ass 30th birthday party~~
Until two weeks before my birthday I wasn't going to have a party because we'd decided to go to Malaysia instead. But then I decided I cannot turn 30 and not have a little gathering, so we went to the beach for a sunset BBQ with about 20 friends and it was lovely. What was even more lovely was my awesome cake - proof that I've been baking from scratch more!

So there we have it. 20 out of 30 aint bad, right? Right???

Now, to make some new goals or not? Hrmmm.

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Wiggle War Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 22:51:00 +0000

Toot toot, chugga chugga, big red knife in the back.

What could have been a triumphant return from sickness for Greg Wiggle has turned in to a PR nightmare after it was discovered Sam Wiggle had been shafted with bugger all notice. The PR Fail was clinched though with an awkward interview on the Today Show.

Here's ~~an artist's rendition~~ my understanding of where Sam is now:

Sam, mate, call ~~your union~~ Woman's Day, but for now, perhaps a little Flog will make you feel better?

Are you Team Sam or Team Greg?? Or Team I-Don't-Fucking-Care-As-Long-As-It-Keeps-My-Kids-Quiet-So-I-Can-Have-A-Hot-Fucking-Cup-Of-Tea?

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Of Twitter Haters and PR Fails

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:55:00 +0000

This post was going to be a standard Mummy Blogger post about how I got up at 5:30am the other day (alternatively known as the ass crack of the day, a time when no human should be awake) so Tricky could see the bus that Map Guy had hired for a bucks party. It was going to be warm and fuzzy and leave the females in the audience with aching ovaries at all the cuteness of an excited toddler's dreams coming true as a bus pulled in to our driveway and took him for a ride up and down the street.

But all that went flying out the window when I checked Twitter at our post-awesome-bus-trip breakfast on the edge of the Swan River and saw this:

Gee, tell me how you really feel.

So I had a look at Biker Vet's account, found out he followed fourteen people, had nine followers and tweeted mainly about bikes, the defense forces and bad PR. No other tweets anything like the one directed at me, so it obviously wasn't just a random hate account. Someone I know? An ex? A friend of a friend of a non-friend who's decided to be a super mature keyboard warrior, hiding behind a pseudonym?

I of course decided to take the moral high ground and not be caught up in it. Well, I would have, but it was much more fun to do this:

Which I think sorta upset him. Or perhaps it was the half dozen retweets of it? Or the tweets of others, like Super Daddy saying not only did he give a flying fuck but a rat's arse too. Love my tweeps!

He countered:

Riiight. So I'm a clueless, vacuous bimbo who needs to get a life, yet HE'S the one spending time sending hate tweets? The irony bubbled up around me and I went for a swim in it! Irony spa FTW!

But I'm thrilled to find out I apparently work in PR. Sending a few muesli bars and calling people Dear Blogger? I could totally do that, thanks Biker Vet for your encouragement to change careers!

By this stage a few people had noticed and were asking what I'd done to make this guy so cranky at me. I told them I had no idea and he was obviously watching my tweets because he replied:

And attached this photo with one name blocked out:

Yes, that's right. I did a reply all to @claytonwfu5y who had spammed us all (that account is now suspended because I always block and report spam) and for that, I am being called horrid names as if we're in a playground. And for the record, one of the others in the group, who understands what a reply all is, retweeted it.

Interestingly on Biker Vet's timeline he complains about clicking on a link that has now infected his email account... there is NO LINK in my tweet, I'm complaining about said link in my tweet, yet I'm the spammer? Sheesh!

Just after that tweet I get an email from a newly created Biker Vet gmail account (a warning popped up that it was a new linked account) saying "This was posted to my business twitter account. It may not have come from you. Please confirm." with a copy of the same image with the name blocked out.

Ohhhh right, so he checked it was from me after calling me a clueless, vacuous bimbo? Way to jump the gun, Biker Vet.

So I assume (possibly making an "ass out of u and me", but hey, I'm gonna go with it) that the name blocked out is Biker Vet's business account that he mentions. I also assume that Biker Vet has no idea that I can find this out by a two second search of my own timeline. And voila, we have our answer.

Mr Biker Vet, you are unmasked... and I could spill the beans and tell the world (well a few thousand readers) who it was that was posting such crude comments about me, but I'm going to restrain myself for a few reasons, number one, because I don't want a barrage of readers to go to your website and give you traffic and number two, I won't be pulled in to a defamation lawsuit.

But I know who you are. So how about I click on over to your page and see what you do, shall we? Oh, look at that, you do personal training and... wait for it... PR! Can you say PR Fail?

I have replied to both tweet and email (cc-ing in his real email address that took a whole five seconds to find on his website), stating that it was a reply all to a spammer... and he's refusing to reply to me. Radio silence. Crickets chirping and tumbleweeds. Me thinks he's not so tough now that I know his real name?

So kudos, Biker Vet, for a massive PR Fail before your PR company is even off the ground.

What have we learned from this adventure? The internet is forever, everything is traceable, I'm now classed as Twitter Royalty for having a hater and my tweeps are awesome. The end.

I'm putting this to bed now. No Twitter flame wars on my behalf, thanks.

Shit Oz Bloggers Say

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 22:19:00 +0000

Behold, the awesomeness that is Styling You, Big Words, Baby Mac, WoogsWorld, Edenland and yours truly saying, well... shit.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel because we've got a LOT more shit to say, and follow the awesomeness on Twitter at @shtbloggerssay

Massive thanks to Nikki for orchestrating and Rob for editing our shenanigans.

10 Reasons Why I Don't Trust You

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:35:00 +0000

Trust. It's a strange thing, really, because if I trust you to take care of my house while I'm away it doesn't mean I trust you to borrow a treasured possession; if I trust you to look after my dog, it doesn't mean I'd trust you to look after my kid; If I trust you to look after my kid it doesn't mean I'd trust you enough to be a confidante. Trust in one area doesn't automatically generate trust in another, just as lack of trust in one doesn't necessarily mean lack of trust in others. That's getting a little too philosophical, so let's just get on with the rant.

I'd like to preface this post with a little note: These are all from personal experience so if you think I'm talking about you... I probably am. Best you know though, right?

1. You drink/take drugs and drive. I could care less what you do in your own time, but the second you get in a car when you're under the influence, I have lost all respect for you. If you're planning a road trip and promise me you won't drive stoned while my loved ones are in the car with you, and then blaze up at the first truck stop... well, there's not much you can do to redeem yourself from that.

2. All conversations are a way for you to bitch about someone behind their back. I'm not stupid you know, if you bitch about everyone else then it's pretty much guaranteed you're bitching about me too. So I won't tell you anything of consequence because I know you'll twist it and before the week is done the woman down the road's step-son's cousin knows.

3. You blatantly lie to your fiance in front of me about something so huge that affects both of your lives, then give me that look that says "shhh, don't tell". You've just brought me in to your lie, you schmuck. If you want to screw up your own future, do it, but don't make me the bad guy who either did or didn't keep your secret.

4. Your emails/tweets/blog posts are full of simple spelling mistakes but then you pull out words like "crwth" and "tsktsks" on Words with Friends to beat me. YOU CHEAT! No more Words with Friends for you!

5. You suggest the perfect wedding gift for Map Guy would be for you to sleep with him because he had a crush on you a few years before he met me. I'm sorry, what fucking planet are you from? Are kitchen appliances too passe these days that we have to give sexual favours?

6. You've barely spoken to me for more than five minutes over four and a half years while you swan around, flying business class back and forth around the world, then pop up asking to borrow a large sum of money. You can't just decide to be friends when you want something.

7. I loaned you my most amazing, most expensive reference book that I paid a shed load of money for... and you left the country. Do they not have a postal service in the UK so you could send it back? I miss my beautiful book and it's making me a sad panda.

8. You tell me bum doesn't look big in these pants when it's blatantly obvious I look like a whale in spandex.

9. You sleep with your mate's wife. This is particularly scummy if it's done approximately one week after having a giant, albeit slightly drunken, conversation with myself and said mate about the importance of fidelity. It reaches the height of douchedom (is too a word) when you do it in the next room while your mate sleeps. Not cool. Not cool at all.

10. You sleep with your husband's mate. See above for further info.

Why don't you trust someone?

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Friggatriskaidekaphobia Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:51:00 +0000

Hey Flogstars!

Today is Friday the 13th *insert howling wolf noise here* and to celebrate I have gone and made myself look all purdy ~~scary~~ for you.

How are the boys/wherewolves/vampires/zombies

not falling over themselves to get to me?

OK so I cheated. For Easter I actually used makeup but today I'm cheating because, as always, there's an app for that (iAmZombie - it's free if you're wondering).

Go and make yourself in to a Zombie and upload your image to the Where's My Glow? Facebook page for a bit of Friday the 13th shenanigans.

But for now, let's Flog, Zombies!

How to FlogYoBlog

Follow Where's My Glow?
Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love

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Help a Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Glowless @ Where's My Glow) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:36:00 +0000

Yesterday I was contacted by Julie from Natural Transition, asking me if I could help her out by sharing a story will you.

You might remember I wrote about her awesome stuff a while back when she sponsored me to go to Blogopolis. Don't remember? It's OK, you can read now. Ima wait right here for you.

You back? Good, let's continue. Last week Julie posted about a young mum, Jane, who needs our help. Her five year old daughter, Jasmine, needs life saving heart surgery... surgery that has been cancelled twice already and is putting extra emotional and financial stress on the family.

Heart conditions are very close to my, err, heart, so I jumped at the chance to help. My sister was born with congenital heart disease and thirty years later my Dad developed heart disease after contracting a virus. So whilst I don't know what it's like to experience heart disease, I know just how devastating it can be to live through it as a family member suffers.

If you click on the image below you can read more about Jane and Jasmine and how their good friend Rosie is trying to raise some money to support them through their journey.

If you'd like to leave a message of support, that will be printed out and sent to Jane, you can do so in the comments section on the post at Natural Transition or below.

We need your help to spread the message, so if you have a moment, show a young mum the power of social media and share this on Twitter and Facebook.

Go on, you know you want to - you'll feel good about yourself!