As opposed to real life, online it can be a little bit harder to determine if a woman is of the caliber you’re looking for because women can include only pictures they look good in while omitting the ones showing how they really look.

What’s a guy to do though? How can you know what kind of woman you’re really emailing?

The easiest and most direct way to know for sure what kind of woman you’re emailing is to ask her for more pictures. If you have even a hint you’re talking to a woman who is bigger or less attractive than her pictures show her to be, it is a very good idea to ask her for more pictures.

Some women think it’s rude for a man to ask for more pictures on dating sites. That’s interesting considering how many women have hundreds of pictures on their Facebook profiles.

It is absolutely not rude to ask women for more pictures on dating sites. It’s perfectly reasonable to want to learn more about somebody before meeting them in person.

Let’s talk about when you do need to ask women for more pictures.

The Photo Trick to Watch Out For

The big red warning light goes off in my head when I see a very pretty face in multiple profile pictures but no body shots, or a body shot where she is hidden behind a bunch of other people.

Think about that for a second. You have a woman with a beautiful face who knows she is beautiful by the very fact she has five or six great shots of her face, and then she all of a sudden forgets to include body shots? Uh, no, that doesn’t happen unless there is something else going on.

A woman that has a good or even average body will show it off by including a few pictures of it in her profile. Many women with so-so (or even big) bodies will also include a body shot or two, and I applaud those women for owning that because it’s not necessarily bad, depending on what you’re in to.

But women who hide their bodies get no respect from me because they waste my time. Women expect men to be honest in their profiles, and it’s just as fair to expect women to be honest too.

If you come across a woman who has a lot of face shots, but who doesn’t have any body shots, you might want to ask her for more pictures if you decided to email her.

When to Ask for More Pictures

Asking a woman for more pictures in your first email is pretty silly. The odds of a woman sending you more pictures in that scenario are slim to none.

The best to time to ask a woman for more pictures is after she responds to your first email. You could then ask for additional pictures while you’re asking her other questions. That makes it seem less confrontational.

After asking women for more pictures, I have had women post additional pictures to their profile where they did indeed have a good body, and I’ve had women post pictures where I wasn’t attracted. Either way, I respect those women for being upfront.

There have been times when I have asked women for additional pictures and I never heard back from them. So what.

If a woman doesn’t respect my time enough by posting additional pictures to her profile or sending them to me by email, she is not a woman I’m willing to continue emailing or spending anymore time on.

Disclaimer

It is not my intention to offend anyone with this article nor do I believe every woman needs to be in contest shape to be attractive.

I have written this article only to save you time on dating sites. If this one simple tactic can prevent you from wasting your time by meeting up with a woman you’re not attracted to because she doesn’t look like her pictures, all the better.

Brandon Duran

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Confidence is pretty easy to demonstrate on dating sites and I’ll talk about that in a future post, but humor is the most effective tool to meet women online, so that’s what we’re going to talk about now.

Fortunately, it’s possible to make women laugh on dating sites even if you’re not funny.

Making women laugh is powerful because it relaxes them and demonstrates you would be fun to hang out with in real life, rather than being nervous or weird when you meet a woman in person.

Most guys get extremely nervous around women they are attracted to, so when you demonstrate you can be trusted not to be nervous or weird, that could be all it takes to get a woman to give you her number and then agree to meet up with you.

If you focused only on making women laugh and then guiding the interaction to the next level (meaning first getting a response, then getting her number, then getting a date, and so on) each time you talked to women, you would meet more women than you would ever have time to date. Period.

How to Make Women Laugh Even if You’re Not Funny

I’ve always been able to make my friends and coworkers laugh, but I wouldn’t say I’m a very funny guy. However, I have found ways to be funny at the right times to get me to the next level with women, and I want to share with you two ways I do that.

The first way is to use ‘tested’ humor. Since you were a kid, and through your adult life, you have had experiences that later turned into stories that have always gotten laughs from friends, coworkers, women you were on dates with, etc.

Find ways to incorporate your funny stories into what you do online. Those stories have been tested over and over and they have always been able to make people laugh, and they will probably make women on dating sites laugh too.

How you present the joke online might be a little different, but you can still usually find a way to insert the punch line and get the laugh.

Use good judgment with the stories you share, at first anyway. Using gross or sexual humor can turn off a woman who hardly knows you rather than making her laugh.

Over time and from experience you will figure out where the line is between making a woman laugh hysterically and making you look like a jackass. The sooner you find that line, the better, so don’t be afraid to experiment.

How to Make Women Laugh – Tactic Two

The second way to make women laugh even if you’re not funny is by commenting on patterns that most people notice but don’t really think about. The key is to playfully make fun of those patterns. This might sound a little confusing, so let me give you an example.

On Plenty of Fish a lot of people have pictures in their profiles of just one eyeball. It sounds really stupid, but it’s true. For some strange reason some people think it’s cool or shows off their eyes, but it ends up just looking creepy.

If you have ever used Plenty of Fish you know there is a row of pictures that link to different people’s profiles at the top of most screens. Imagine for a moment that you scan those pictures and see various faces smiling back at you and then there is one eyeball just glaring at you. That’s just CREEPY!

You could find many ways to joke about that in your profile or emails. An easy way might be simply mentioning all of “creepy eyeball pics” or that you prefer pictures that show a woman’s whole face rather than just seven pictures of one eyeball – no matter how nice her eyes may be.

A gold mine for recognizing patterns and then cracking on them is on Craigslist “Best Of.” I gave a great example of a profile that was featured in Craigslist’s “Best Of” in a previous article. The guy who wrote that profile did a fantastic job of twisting patterns in women’s profiles into funny material for his own profile. You can do the same thing to make women laugh, and it’s pretty easy once you learn how it’s done.

Making Women Laugh on Dating Sites is Even Easier than Making Them Laugh in Real Life

The thing I like most about making women laugh online is I can take as long as I need to craft the perfect joke for my profile or email.

If you’re like me, you often think of the perfect zinger or punch line three minutes too late, when it’s not funny anymore. With online dating sites, you don’t have that problem because you can take as long as you need.

Over time you can create a hysterical profile or emails that get women to respond or even make the first move.

If you send out stock or canned emails (which I recommend because it saves you a lot of time) you can continue refining your emails to make them more effective.

As women respond to your canned emails, you’ll probably find that many women respond in the same way. This allows you to make your emails funnier by preempting what other women will say or think when they read your emails.

Here’s an example: You might have heard of the canned joke in the pick up community where you ask a woman what she wanted to grow up to be when she was a little girl, and then you immediately say, “And don’t say princess.”, before she has a chance to answer.

Even if a woman didn’t want to be a princess when she was a little girl, it’s still funny. You can do the same thing with your emails by preempting what a woman will say or think in response to you.

A Few More Tips for Injecting Your Emails with Humor

How you tell a story or joke can make all the difference in determining if it’s funny or not. Split testing multiple ways to get to the punch line is a great way to find the funniest angle for the joke.

Often times you don’t have to use a completely different approach when telling the joke; just a few extra words or even less words can really amp up the humor of a story.

If you don’t know how to split test your emails and profile, you can find some more information here – How to Get Women To Email You Back.

I also recommend eliminating unnecessary words to make your stories flow better. This usually makes your emails and profile easier and faster to read, which is always good because it’s so easy to get distracted online.

In conclusion, it’s pretty easy to make a woman laugh, even if you’re not very funny. And when you can make a woman laugh, you greatly increase the chances of getting her to respond to your emails and then give you her number.

I’ve given you enough tips in this article to improve your profile and emails. Invest a few minutes right now to make some changes to your profile and emails. It could make all the difference in how many responses you get on dating sites.

Brandon Duran

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Most guys do the opposite though; they lower their standards. Lowering standards only makes sense when you acknowledge most guys don’t feel like they can get the women they are most attracted to.

This article will show you how to raise your standards in a way women find irresistible, which in turn will help you meet and date hotter women, even if you currently think they are out of your league.

Having High Standards Makes You More Attractive To Women

Most beautiful and emotionally healthy women are not attracted to guys who have low standards in terms of the women they date.

Women view men who have high standards as confident, and therefore attractive.

For guys who have high standards, a woman has to bring more to the table.

That means in addition to being physically attractive a woman might have to be smart, have her life together, be in great shape, be financially independent, etc., depending on what the particular guy is looking for.

The key is women have to work a little harder to win over guys with high standards, which creates a challenge for women.

Because most guys become door mats the moment an attractive woman shows them any attention, a guy that challenges her immediately differentiates him in her mind in a good way.

People in general, and especially most women, want what they can’t have. Most people don’t respect what they don’t have to work for. Having high standards is one way to show a woman she can’t have you, unless of course she exceeds your standards and plays by your rules.

Imagine for a minute two guys who are about equal in looks, income, height, etc., but with one big difference – one guy is quickly won over by the women he dates while the other guy seems to have little tests or standards women must pass before he accepts them.

In other words, for the first guy, women can tell after just a phone conversation or a date or two that he is really into them. In essence, those women won him over simply by being present.

For the other guy, rather than being satisfied with a woman after just a date or two, he makes her work a little harder to prove herself. Simply spending time with him isn’t enough to win him over.

Which guy do you think will be more attractive to the women he dates?

It should be very obvious that when a woman has to work for something she will appreciate it more. Given the above scenario, the first guy will quickly lose his women to the second guy.

Women Don’t Apologize For Having High Standards

On average, women are much more selective with the men they date than men are about the women they date.

The interesting thing about this is women don’t feel guilty or apologize for expecting more from the men they date.

For example, Match.com recently published an article discussing how some women feel about the amount of money a man earns.

Here is a comment from a woman named Haley who was interviewed in the article:

“My current boyfriend pays for everything and I think I make more than he does, but I like it that way because it feels romantic, caring and chivalrous. Dating a man without money is really tough because you end up paying for everything and that wears on you after awhile.”

The part of Haley’s comment that really stuck out to me was she doesn’t want to pay all the time because she feels that it “wears on you after awhile,” but she is perfectly fine with her boyfriend paying all the time.

I’m not judging Haley’s view one way or the other. I include it only to show a woman who doesn’t apologize for one trait she wants in a man.

In the same article, Liz said, “Guys without money to burn need to work a little harder.” This is just another example of a woman stating what she wants, and making no apology for it.

As a guy, you too, are allowed to set your standards anywhere you want without apology or guilt.

Women aren’t going to judge you for having high standards (it’s not their place to tell you what you should want or deserve), but you will be more attractive to many women simply by having high standards. That’s makes having high standards a win-win for you.

The Most Effective Way To Demonstrate That You Have High Standards For Women

There are many ways to demonstrate you have high standards for the women you date. The major difference is whether the way you communicate your standards makes you more or less attractive to women.

Simply barking orders at women and telling them how and what they should be to please you will only make you look like a jackass and turn women off.

However, when you convey, in a charming way, that you expect more from women than just a pretty face, it triggers attraction in women, even if you’re not their type.

One of the most effective ways to communicate you have high standards in a charming way is by using humor.

I do this is in my profile by listing a few “deal breakers” but wording them in a funny way that many women find charismatic.

For example, I am turned off by women who shave their eyebrows off and then paint them on with makeup. Disgusting! Here is one way I have addressed this in my profile with humor:

If your only emotion is SURPRISE!! because you paint your eyebrows on, I’m not your guy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a drama queen, but I want to know when you’re happy too, and a smile with crazy eyebrows just doesn’t go together.

Contrast that with, “Chicks with painted-on eyebrows gross me out!” That just doesn’t have the same charm.

Another way to charismatically demonstrate you have high standards is to state what you’re looking for in multiple ways without saying it directly.

For example, if you like only very skinny or very physically fit women, rather than saying “No Fat Chicks!” in your profile, you could say something like:

I believe in keeping myself in great physical shape and am looking for a woman who does the same. I go to the gym pretty consistently, but I know there are a lot of women who just have great genes. Either option works for me!

These are just a few ways you can demonstrate your high standards in a way that increases a woman’s attraction toward you rather than turns her off. There are many other ways to do this just as effectively.

In this article we discussed why women are attracted to men who have high standards. By demonstrating you have high standards, and communicating those standards to women in a charming way, you will attract hotter women.

Find a few places in your profile where you can demonstrate you have high standards for the women you date using the tips I gave you in this article. Let me know how it goes or if you’re having trouble with how to word something in particular.

Brandon Duran

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I’ve seen several “coaches” and bloggers in the online dating niche give the advice to test your profile pictures on picture rating sites like www.HotOrNot.com to find out which pictures are your best.

Testing is always a good idea because it will increase your results when done consistently and in the right way (see How to Get Women to Email You Back).

However, when you conduct tests you want to make sure the conditions for the test are as close to the real world as possible. Testing in “practice” or manufactured environments can give you very misleading results.

My Results On HotOrNot.com

A few years ago I tested my pictures on HorOrNot.com and had to laugh at the results. I was routinely rated in the range of 2 to 4 out of 10.

I by no means have model good looks, but I would have to resemble Sloth from The Goonies to be in the 2 range.

Back when I tried HotOrNot.com there was a function where you could see individual ratings for each number from one to 10. In other words, you could see how many people rated you a 9, 10, 1, 2, etc.

When I looked at the range for my various pictures I found a few votes in the 5 to 10 range, and a cluster of votes in the 1 to 2 range. Hmm…

I find it very unlikely there are scores of women rating guys 1’s and 2’s consistently. I’m just guessing here, but I think it’s much more likely those votes were coming from guys with fragile egos.

Skewed results like that don’t teach you anything. The reason I’m fairly certain the ratings on my pictures were bullshit was because of the feedback I got from real women on dating sites about my pictures.

I sometimes get comments like “Hey, handsome,” or “Great smile!” or “You’re welcome for the wink! You’re a very good looking guy” on dating sites. If I was really a 1 or 2 I would never get emails like that.

The point is if I were to rely solely on feedback from the picture rating sites I would likely be mislead as to which pictures are good and which are bad.

The Worst Thing About Picture Rating Sites

There is an even bigger problem with picture rating sites, which is you have no idea what kind of women are rating your pictures.

Now read closely, this is the important part.

If you’re conducting tests with the goal of increasing responses, you want to make damn sure you’re testing the right audience. In this case, that means conducting tests on the kind of women you’re interested in.

Testing on anyone other than your intended audience will skew your results.

The Easiest Way To Get True Ratings On Your Pictures

Rather than posting your pictures on sites where anyone from 10 year-olds to grandma’s to closet gay guys trolling male pictures can rate your pictures, test your pictures on the kind of women you’re actually interested in.

How do you do that?

The simplest way to get only women you’re interested in to tell you which pictures are your best is to…
ask them.

You can do this on dating sites (or Facebook) by emailing or IMing them and asking them something to the effect:

Subject: Can I ask a quick favor?

Message:

Hey,

I just got on here and I’m trying to decide on a few pictures that “show me off.” So the quick favor is: would you check out my pictures and tell me which two are best and which two I should take down? I’m not looking for a therapist here, just a quick female opinion.

You won’t offend me, so feel free to be completely honest.

Thanks, you rock!

[Your name]

Send that to 10 women of the caliber you’re interested in. Maybe just two out of those 10 women might email you back, but those two opinions will be worth more than the garbage results you get from picture rating sites.

Send it to a few more groups of women and you’ll find out very quickly which are you best pictures and which pictures suck.

The women you email can be from anywhere, that way you won’t waste any opportunities with women in the area where you live.

Pictures Aren’t Going To Get You Laid

Remember though, your pictures will get you only so far, unless of course you have model good looks. In that case feel free to email “duh” to women and you’ll still get numbers.

If that’s not the case, you’ll want to focus more of your time on writing emails that get you to the next step in the interaction with women. If your emails rock, you can have mediocre pictures and still get lots of numbers.

Of course, you want to give yourself every advantage, so definitely pick some pictures that present you in a good light.

Till next time,

Brandon Duran

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Before the transition to the Match.com system, Yahoo Personals users were given the option to make a seamless switch to Match.com or discontinue their membership.

Users who chose to make the switch were able to easily transfer their profile and other information to the Match.com system. Those users now experience the Match.com system as any other Match.com member does.

How This Helps You Meet More Women

The most important thing about the partnership between Match.com and Yahoo Personals for you is that it means there are more women on Match.com.

There’s no need to worry about the additional guys that are now on Match.com due to the switch. As I’ve discussed before, the male competition on dating sites is a joke!

If you have been on the fence about plunking down your hundred bucks for a six-month subscription to Match.com, the partnership with Yahoo Personals is one more reason to do so now.

I have no affiliate relationship with Match.com, but I know that you want to meet more women on dating sites, and one way to do that is by standing in front of the ever increasing parade of women on Match.com.

Match.com is currently running a promotion where you buy six months and then get six months free if you don’t find somebody in the first six months. In other words, you’ll get a 12-month membership for the price of a six-month membership. (You’ll have to email at least five women each month and keep your profile visible the whole time to qualify for the free six months.)

This means it would cost you just over $8 a month for a year-long membership to Match.com. That’s a bargain considering how many attractive single women Match.com has wrangled up in one place for you.

Match.com has already put in the work to get the women there, now all you have to do is email them.

The Other Site That Helps You Meet More Women

I still recommend using Match.com in conjunction with the free dating site, Plenty of Fish.

You’ll likely find that you get slightly better results on one website than the other, but being a member of both sites increases the number of women you can meet.

To find out more about the differences between Match.com and Plenty of Fish see The Best Online Dating Sites.

Talk to you soon,

Brandon Duran

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That is not realistic and only makes getting better with women harder, not easier.

A few years ago I found some guys on the internet that claimed to be very good with women. Some of these guys claimed to be so good with women that they could get any woman, any time, any place.

In fact, one of those guys claimed that you can’t consider yourself good with women until you successfully seduce 10 women out of 10 women you approach.

In other words, in that guy’s eyes, you’ve got to be able to successfully seduce any woman you ever approach.

Back then I was just trying to figure out how to approach and start conversations with women, so setting my goal with women as 10 for 10 seemed like a pretty tough hill to climb.

That made meeting and talking to women that much harder for me because I felt like I couldn’t mess up at all.

Now, years later, and much more successful with women and dating, I can guarantee you that none of the guys claiming to be able to successfully seduce every woman they go after actually can. Not a single one of them.

How do I know this?

Even A-List Celebrities Get Rejected

There have been well publicized stories of A-list celebrities that have dated some of the most beautiful women in the world getting rejected by other women. One such example was when Colin Farrell got rejected by Meghan Lowther.

Colin Farrell has dated many gorgeous women, so considering even he, an A-list celebrity (or close enough), gets turned down occasionally, how could you hold yourself to the unreasonable standard of getting every woman you talk to?

The point is even men most women drool over get rejected occasionally.

To hold yourself to a standard that you have to get every woman you approach is not only unrealistic, it could be holding you back from dating the women you’re most attracted to because you’ll be afraid of failing with them.

Rather than approaching those women and knowing you might not be successful, you instead move on to women you are more likely to succeed with, but who aren’t as attractive as the other women you’re afraid to fail with.

Rejection Can Devour A Man’s Courage

You’re probably well aware of and accept the fact that you won’t get every woman you talk to. However, when you get rejected it still stings and consumes your thoughts for the rest of day, week, or even longer.

That feeling can eat you up inside and consume your thoughts to the point you end up not approaching other women.

When you let rejection get under your skin or psyche, it not only ruins the opportunities that come your way while you’re beating yourself up, but it also makes you shy or hesitate the next time you talk to a woman.

You end up getting in a protective mode where you do everything you can to avoid getting rejected, which ultimately means you don’t take any risks with a woman, such as asking for her number.

When that happens the fear of rejection rules your mind rather than thoughts of having fun with a woman, playfully teasing her, and attracting her.

When fear of rejection becomes so bad it rules your mind, it can screw up a lot of opportunities you have with new women and also prevent you from getting to the next level with women you’re currently dating.

Moving Beyond Rejection

The take-home lesson is to be comfortable getting rejected from time to time because it will happen. If you never get rejected, you’re not talking to enough women or you’re not talking to hot women. Period.

If you haven’t dated very much you’ll probably get rejected more at first, but you can use those early rejections as guide posts that show you what not to do the next time.

Think of rejection as free coaching from hot women on the topic of what not to do with them.

As you get better with women you’ll experience less and less rejection. However, you still must accept that rejection will bare its face sooner or later, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

If you’ve been holding off on emailing the women you’re really attracted to on dating sites because you have a feeling you’ll instantly get blown out, email those women anyway. Take a chance and learn from the experience.

You’ll end up dating some fantastic women that most guys are afraid to talk to or email, and you’ll also learn not what to do as well. It’s a win-win situation.

Brandon Duran

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When she finally logged on she found more than 40 new emails from guys!

What’s interesting is even though more than 40 other guys emailed her, she took the time to write me a long and thoughtful email. It was obvious to me she had read my entire profile and my other emails to her.

She probably emailed a few other guys back too, but most of those other 40 + guys’ emails got deleted after she skimmed them.

So how did I get this woman to respond when there were so many other guys that got ignored?

The answer is simple…

The Competition On Dating Sites Sucks!

Their emails suck, their mindsets suck, their profiles suck, they don’t know what to say once they get a woman on the phone, and if by chance they do get a woman out on a date, they blow it.

The competition sucks so badly because they see online dating as one big crap shoot where you either get lucky or you don’t.

They never realize there is a series of small steps for going from first emailing a woman to getting her phone number to meeting her in person, and that each step can be learned and mastered one at a time.

So rather than making their profile and emails as strong as they could be and using that system over and over, they send out random emails and pray for responses.

The easiest way to be successful on dating sites is to focus on each step one at a time. First you work on getting women to respond to your emails, then getting phone numbers, then getting dates, and so on.

By focusing on conversion during each of those steps one at a time, you greatly increase your chances of getting women to respond to your emails and ultimately meeting them in person.

However, the fact remains that there are still a lot of other guys online that women have to choose from. So how can you differentiate yourself from all the competition?

The Secret To Destroying Your Competition

Destroying your competition on dating sites boils down to one core principle: attract the woman and your competition will disappear.

It sounds obvious, but most guys forget that women get on dating sites to meet men they are attracted to. When a woman is attracted to you, she’ll make getting to know her easy and she’ll naturally ignore the competition.

The converse of the principle above is that if you can’t attract a woman, you’re not going to get anywhere with her. In other words, you’ll be one of the guys she ignores.

So how do you attract women on dating sites?

There are three primary ways to attract women on dating sites:

•    Make women laugh
•    Demonstrate confidence
•    Differentiate yourself from every other guy in an interesting way

Making a woman laugh is the easiest way to attract her online. It demonstrates that you’re fun and you don’t take yourself too seriously, as well as showing a woman that she would probably have a good time with you in person too.

Making women laugh also makes them comfortable. Don’t downplay that. There are scores of awkward guys on dating sites that make women cringe, not only with their emails, but on the phone or in person too.

Demonstrating confidence makes a woman feel safe, and shows her that you can handle any situation that may present itself. And really, what woman wants a meek man anyway?

Women are naturally wired to be attracted to confident guys. Men who are confident are comfortable in their own skin and tend to get what they want. That is very attractive to most women.

It’s very easy to confuse cockiness with confidence though, especially online. Cockiness is a turnoff to most women.

There is a simple trick to coming across as confident rather than cocky. Confident guys don’t try to impress other people, while the sole intention of cocky guys is to impress others or get a rise out of them.

Express yourself and your views comfortably without worrying about how a woman or others will judge you. When you do that in a tactful and charming way, you’ll come across as confident every time.

The last way to attract women online is to differentiate yourself from all of the other guys in an interesting way.

This comes down to expressing what’s important to you and what your life is about. The easiest way to do this is by talking about your passions.

Talking about your passions with energy excites other people and makes them feel alive, like there is so much more to experience and enjoy in life.

When you can make a woman feel alive, you’ve got her attention and the competition withers away because all they have to talk about is the same boring crap everyone else talks about.

You don’t have to do a bunch of extraordinary or exciting activates to come across as interesting. Simply express your life in an interesting way. If you don’t know how to do that, study your favorite authors and how they make everyday details come alive.

Remember to also clearly express what you’re looking for in a woman. It’s counter intuitive, but the clearer you are in your description of what you’re looking for, the more attractive it is to women.

Describing your type of women is attractive to all women, even when they’re not your type because it demonstrates that you know what you want and you expect to get it.

Most guys are willing to accept any woman that will say yes, so when you demonstrate that you have standards, you’ll instantly stick out in a good way.

I want to leave you with one last thought from a woman about the competition on dating sites.

Straight From A Woman’s Mouth

I was on a date with a woman the other night and one of the topics that came up was how many guys are on dating sites. She asked me what I thought about all of the competition I’m “up against.”

I laughed and asked said, “What competition?” I could tell by her body language she thought I was just being cocky, so I explained what I meant.

I told her I don’t have to worry about the competition because they blow it all by themselves the moment they open their mouths to women.

She started laughing and then said, “Fine, I guess you’re right.”

Don’t let the competition hold you back from getting what you want on dating sites. If you’re interested in a woman, email her.

When a woman reads your emails after reading a bunch of boring emails from other guys, she’ll know instantly that you get it, and she’ll make it easy for you to get to know her.

Follow the tips I gave you above and don’t worry about the competition because they’ll mess it up with women all by themselves without you ever having to “compete” with them.

The tons of clueless guys on dating sites actually help you to stand out that much more once you know what you’re doing. Imagine that, the competition online actually helps you meet more women.

Brandon Duran

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Of course, not every woman will give you their number or even email you back, but a solid email sequence will allow you to get lots of phone numbers from attractive women.

What about women that ask you for your number?

If an attractive woman asks you for your number first obviously you’ll want to give it to her, but get her number too just in case she chickens out when it comes time to calling you.

In cases where you ask a woman for her number and she responds with some variation of “Why don’t you give me your number instead?” there is zero point in giving her your number.

Giving the woman your number ends the interaction with her right there. She will not call you and she will not give you her number, and she will usually stop answering your emails too.

Why then do women even ask for your number then if they aren’t going to call you?

Women ask for your number rather than giving you their number for a variety of reasons.

Sometimes you haven’t built up enough attraction with the woman; other times it could be that she was just being polite when responding to your emails but she’s not interested in you.

Or it could be a lot of other guys have asked her for her number too and she doesn’t want a bunch of random guys calling her.

Or maybe she’s trying to be cautious since there are so many wackos in the world.

Regardless of the reason why a woman asks for your number rather than giving you hers, it comes down to one simple conclusion – if she were really interested in you she would give you her number.

Women That Are Attracted To You Make Dating Easy

Women that are attracted and/or interested in you make it easy for you to get to the next step. If you ask a woman for her number she’ll give it to you. If you call her, she’ll answer. If you ask her out, she’ll accept.

Women who make getting to the next step difficult for you aren’t interested in you. There are some women that just make things difficult even if they like you, but that’s definitely not the kind of women most guys prefer.

So the simple answer is no. If a woman asks for your number rather than giving you hers when you ask, don’t give it to her. She’s not going to call and the interaction will end there if you do give her your number.

If you’re still interested in the woman you can try one last thing.

You can challenge her to make a decision one way or another – give you her number or hit the road.

That’s a very direct and possibly aggressive approach, but it saves you time in case you’re dealing with a woman who just wants to play games.

You can challenge a woman this way by sending her another email along the lines of, “If you were interested you would leave your number. Best wishes”

An email like this is simple and to the point. A woman will understand that she can give you her number or just move on.

This won’t work every time because, remember, a woman who didn’t give you her number the first time you asked probably wasn’t very interested to begin with.

However, I understand there are times when you’re still attracted to a woman and want to try one last time, even if there is only a small chance for success. You have nothing to lose at that point anyway with the woman, so go ahead and email her if you still want.

So there you have it. Now you know the only circumstances you should give your number to a woman. Remember though, playing games with women about getting their numbers should be the exception, not the rule.

If you find that you have to play games with women when you ask for their number, tweak your email sequence and profile.

If you’re having other problems when you ask women for their number, leave your situation below in the comments.

Brandon Duran

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You’ll have a lot of victories and a lot of small defeats. Those victories and defeats will both point you in the right direction to keep you moving forward and improving your success with women.

Learning to get better with women this way is similar to a mindset called Kaizen.

At its core, Kaizen is simply a philosophy aimed at making continual progress by making many small improvements. Over time, the compound effect of those small improvements can result in a huge payoff.

You can apply Kaizen to every aspect of meeting women online.

(In a previous article I talked about split testing your emails to get more responses from women. Split testing is a form of Kaizen because it involves making small improvements to get better results.)

The thing I love most about Kaizen is by using it the only thing that can happen is you’ll get closer to your goals and even reach (and surpass) them. Kaizen nearly guarantees that you’ll get better results because you never stop improving yourself and what you do.

How To Use Kaizen To Meet More Women

Using Kaizen is very easy. When you reach a roadblock, you just have to do something different. You then track that information to figure out what works best, and then you do more of what gets you the most results.

That’s it. Here’s a quick breakdown of Kaizen:

Continue doing what’s working until you reach a road block, and then try something new to get passed it. Observe how the change you made affects your results. Continue doing more of what works and less or none of what doesn’t. Then continue doing this process over and over to get better results.

Of course, you don’t have to wait to apply Kaizen until you reach a roadblock. You can aim for better results even if you’re happy with your current results, and really that’s what Kaizen is about – constant improvement.

When you stop looking at meeting women online as one gigantic process that’s impossible to figure out, and you start looking at it as a series of small steps, you can really start making some serious progress.

Each of those small steps is an opportunity where you can improve, and when you do, those small improvements will result in you meeting and dating more women. And really, that’s the whole reason you’re on dating sites in the first place, right?

Use Kaizen on each of the small steps to continue making forward progress. It might take you a few weeks or months, but those small improvements will payoff and you’ll meet more women.

Brandon Duran

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In this article you’ll learn what to do once you get a woman’s number, and how to transition from emailing to talking on the phone.

Why Women Don’t Answer Their Phones After Giving You Their Number

Many women will give you their phone number and then never pick up when you call.

A woman that doesn’t answer your calls or return your messages makes absolutely no sense. After all, if she’s not interested, why would she have given you her number in the first place?

The explanation comes down to attraction. If you can attract a woman, she will likely give you her phone number. However, attraction is a fleeting emotion.

A woman might be momentarily attracted to you, say from a funny email you sent her, and give you her number, but then a few days later when you call her she doesn’t answer because those feelings of attraction are gone.

So what do you do then? How do you get a woman to answer her phone when you call or return your messages?

Well, first we have to go back a little bit.

Attraction Starts Before You Call A Woman

If a woman was guilted into giving you her number or just being polite, of course she’s not going to answer when you call.

Make sure you’re getting women’s numbers because they are attracted to you, not because they are being polite. That is the first step to getting a woman to answer her phone when you call.

So let’s say you have attracted a woman and she has given you her number. What then?

Well, you can just call her, but the problem with that is only a small percentage of women will actually answer their phone.

One reason women don’t answer their phones is because they don’t recognize your number.

If a woman doesn’t answer her phone, you’ll have to leave a message. You’ll then have to wait for her to call you back, if she ever does.

Some guys have realized leaving messages on women’s voicemail doesn’t work very well, so they get smart and text her.

Setting up a date through text can be done and I have done it, however, doing that prevents you from attracting her over the phone, which can be very powerful.

Setting up dates through text also eliminates the chance you have to qualify a woman to make sure she’ll be fun once you meet up with her. It’s much better to find out if a woman is a dud on the phone before you take the time to meet up with her.

Going out with women who have nothing to say, who are boring, who are negative, or who you have no chemistry with is a waste of time. And you can’t find out any of that information through text, but you can over the phone.

I have disqualified a lot of women over the phone and thereby saved my time for other women. I’ve learned this by making the mistake of meeting up with women who were duds on the phone and then were duds in person too.

My rule of thumb is if you have no chemistry or don’t have fun with a woman on the phone, there is no point in meeting up with her in person. I’m sure there are exceptions, but this rule will save you a lot of wasted time with women who suck in person.

So now you know why talking to a woman on the phone is important, but how do you get her to pick up her phone?

How To Get A Woman To Program Your Number Into Her Phone

How do you get around the problem of a woman not recognizing your number?

You get her to program your number into her phone before you call her. This greatly increases the chances a woman will actually answer her phone when you call.

I’m going to give you a text in just moment that will persuade most women to program your number into their phone, but first there are a couple things to keep in mind.

You’ll want to call a woman on the same day you text her this message. And you want to have a few hours between the time you text her and then call her.

So if a woman gives her number in the evening or at night, you’ll probably want to wait until the next day to text her.

If a woman emails you her number early in the day you can text her and then call her that same night.

Here’s the text:

Hi. Just wanted to give you my number too. – Brandon

(Obviously you’ll want to leave your name instead of mine.)

Very simple, but very powerful.

This text does several things very effectively.

First, it makes it seem like she asked for your number and you were just being polite by giving it to her. This is powerful because it gives value to your number.

Second, there is a subtle suggestion that she should program her number into her phone. So rather than seeing a number she doesn’t recognize, she’ll see your name when you call.

Third, it prepares her for your call. She’ll assume the next thing you’re going to do is call her.

Most women will text back something like, “Thanks, how are you doing?” or “Hey! What are you up to?” I’ll usually text back something like, “Just working. I’ll call you tonight.”

I keep it brief when I text a woman back because I don’t want to have a conversation through text. It’s very easy to lose momentum when a woman doesn’t text back right away, and if you lose momentum she might not answer her phone.

After you send the text, wait a few hours and then call her. (I like to call between 8 and 9:30 pm.) Most women will now answer when you call.

Some women won’t text you back. That’s not a big deal. Just call her a few hours after you send the text anyway.

Try out this text and let me know how it goes.

Brandon Duran

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