So, why then was I thinking about writing this post on the train in Skagway?

I don’t know. ( I’m guessing fellow bloggers can relate.)

But, while I was looking at this:

I was thinking about tour guides.

Yes, tour guides. You see, I had been carefully watching our tour guides as we went on helicopter rides, bus trips, kayaking outings, and whale watching tours. And, I noticed a clear difference between the ones who got tips and the ones who didn’t. The ones who got the tips followed a distinct pattern of four actions: know your stuff, treat ‘em like kings, really get into it, and have a personality. The ones who didn’t get tips, well, they were boring.

Know your stuff.

I learned a ton of stuff about Alaska I would’ve never known had it not been for those tour guides. Stuff like how killer whales spend their whole lives with their mothers and what a sea cucumber looks like (Even though, I feel like I could’ve been just fine without having ever seen one. Google it.) and even where the Wal-Mart is located in Juneau, a town  of about 30,000 people. See? That’s a lot of stuff.

While it is their job to know and to educate, those who knew more (or at least shared more) received the best tips. That’s because they knew what their customers wanted – to get the most out of their trip. When one of us stumped them with a question, they didn’t  let that stop them – they radioed their fellow tour guides for help. Which leads me to the next action…

What this means for you: You are the expert in your field. Even if you don’t happen to consider yourself an expert, it’s often likely that you know more about your product than your customer. Don’t forget this. Assuming your customer knows what you’re talking about could be a mistake. How do you know what they know? You ask questions. With the right questions, you’ll quickly figure out where your customer’s knowledge lies.

Really get into it.

The best of our tour guides had passion. They were just as excited as we were to see mama humpback whale with its baby or to spot a bald eagle flying high above as were. Even more, they genuinely wanted to make the experience enjoyable for us. They understood that it really was all about the customer. They went out of their way to make the happen – whether that be slamming on the brakes so we could see a bear or showing us where the only hairdresser in town lives (not that that’s critical, but you know what I mean), they did what they could to make the trip special.

The guides who didn’t take this action usually ended without a tip and without leaving any impression on us tourists. Perhaps they were fine with that. Or, maybe they didn’t realize how far a little passion could go.

What this means for you: If you love what you’re doing, let your customers know about it. They may not exactly share your passion, but they’ll certainly notice yours and they’ll know who to call when they want your product or service.

Treat every customer like they’re the most exciting person you’ve ever met.

I noticed a trend among the guides who seemed to receive the largest tips: They complimented the customers. They said things like, “You guys are a great group.” “It’s so great to have a group of people who are so excited about Alaska.” “Thank you for being such great participants. I do this everyday, and you guys were awesome.”

Doesn’t it make you feel all warm inside?

I have a sneaking suspicion that these brief phrases did wonders for the guides’ tips. These words made us feel special – consciously or unconsciously.

On the hand, I couldn’t help but wonder sometimes: Were we really that great? We seemed pretty normal to me. But, in the end, I went with it. (And, I’m pretty sure everybody else did, too.)

What this means for you: Be genuine, but don’t be afraid to flatter.

Don’t be afraid to show your personality.

Some of these guides were true characters. Others were admittedly annoying. Regardless, personality counted. People relate to people.

What this means for you: It’s okay to show your personality to your customers. In fact, they’ll probably appreciate it.

These are a few of the more 1,000 photos Dan and I (well, mostly Dan) took in Alaska last week.  I’ll be sharing more about my thoughts from Alaska soon.

What you are doing to explore?

“Why not?” I asked.

She huffed and rattled off a couple reasons, like cost and her boss not seeing a need to change.

“So, have you actually talked to your boss about it?” I questioned.

“Well, no,” Alison said, shaking her head. “I already know what she’d say.”

Huh, I thought, I wonder how she knows what her boss would say. So, I asked her another question, “Do you think she would listen if you explained the need?”

Alison’s face changed; she looked as if I had just asked her to jump off a cliff. Before either of us could say anything else, our course started, and the subject was dropped for the rest of the conference.

But, it left me wondering: Why is Alison so hesitate to approach her boss about this? Does she have an unreasonable boss? Or, does she just not know how to get what she wants?

Assess the need and the barriers.

Alison knew the need: Her current software is cumbersome and not helpful when it comes to basic relationship management. However, her boss (and her entire organization) is trying to focus on building strong relationships. This is a huge opportunity for Alison to make her case.

She was also very aware of the barriers: The cost of the software is fairly significant. She also mentioned that her boss as a barrier, stating that she didn’t think there was a need to change.

What is that you want? Ask yourself:

• Who will benefit from this and how?
• What’s holding me (or us) back?
• Are any of these barriers actually opportunities in disguise?

Alison thinks her boss doesn’t want to change, but is it possible her boss just doesn’t understand the benefits? If Alison would’ve thought of it this way would she be more willing to talk to her boss?

Get a feel for it.

Alison thinks she knows what her boss is thinking, but maybe she should explore what some of her co-workers think. She might want to approach them and ask questions like:

• What do you think of the current software?
• How would you improve the current software?
• What features would help you do your job better?

Use their feedback to see if there’s a consensus or at least a trend. Just like we learned in D.A.R.E. class, there’s power in numbers!

State what you want.

Alison’s boss is not a mind reader and neither is yours (unless you’re working for a psychic hotline, and even then it’s questionable). You have to let her know what you want. Assuming that your boss, or anyone for else for that matter, knows what you want is a mistake. You have to state your needs.

Figure out exactly what is that you want. Is it any new software or a specific program? Do you need specific features? What makes this program better than the alternative?

Chances are, you’re not going to get what you want unless you ask.

Explain what problem you’re solving.

Just going in and stating “we need new software” probably isn’t going to cut it. That’s because it’s human nature to want to know, “What’s in it for me?” Keep this in mind as you make your case.

In the case of Alison, the new program will help the office with their new relationship management initiative. If Alison were to make her case effectively enough, this may be all her boss needs to know. Once she understands the vast benefits, she may realize that these benefits outweigh the costs.

When you’re making your case, always include how you’re suggestion is a solving a problem. You already know the problem (take a look back at the needs and barriers); go ahead and spell it for them!

Make your case clearly.

Sometimes how we make the case is more important than the case itself. One of my favorite ways to present a solution is through a proposal. I like it because you can spell out everything under clear headings, such as: “The Need” and “The Proposed Solution.” You can also make a proposal come from multiple people (remember those partners you found earlier?).

But, proposals certainly don’t work in every situation. Consider your audience and how they may best digest the information you present. This could be an email, memo, phone call, meeting, speech, PowerPoint presentation, etc.

However you present, here are a few tips:

• Be prepared to show both pros and cons of your proposal. (At least try to be objective!)
• Don’t make it about you. Remember: You’re solving a problem.
• Provide as many facts as possible. (In general, businesses like looking at numbers and, of course, their bottom line.)

Congratulations!

Permission granted. Approved. Go for it. (You get the idea.)

What if you don’t get what you want?

Okay. So you can’t always get what you want. Sorry.

If the answer is no, see if you can find out why:

• What about it doesn’t work for you?
• What would make this suggestion better?
• What cost, if any, would be more appropriate?
• What would you expect to see in a solution for this problem?

The answers to the “why” questions will help you make your next move:

• Try again later.
• Try a different approach or presentation style.
• Talk to someone else about it.
• Gather more facts and convincing material.
• Put on your tickler file to remind you in a year or two.
• Give up and move on.

Apply it!

The suggestions outlined above don’t just work for software and other business needs. You can use these strategies (albeit, slightly adapted) to ask your parents to include you in their vacation or to convince your husband to do the dishes. (Well, good luck with that last one.)

You’re thinking, “Yeah, I already know this. I read all about networking all the time. I’ve even read about it on Girl Meets Business here, here, and here.” And, if you’re not thinking that, you’re probably thinking, “I don’t need anyone else! I can do it myself!”

To the first group, networking is only a small part of it. Simply networking, whether in person or online, isn’t going to necessarily to success. Even if you take my advice and follow up after networking, it doesn’t guarantee you’re on the right path.

To the “I can do it myself” group, it sure does sound tempting to be a one-man (or woman) show. And, I certainly don’t doubt that it can be done. You’ll have a much easier and more productive time with the help of other people, though. You’ll also learn a lot along the way.

Let’s back up for a minute and focus on the word “success.” We’re generally talking success when it comes to business, but I’ll let you define success however you want to. That’s because whether you aspire to be a famous actress, an awesome waitress, or a CEO, the secret is still the same.

Surround yourself with smart, successful people.

It sure is fun to be the smartest, most successful person in the group, isn’t it? That may be the case, but it’s not challenging you. You can be friends with and network with whomever you want, but when it comes to your success, you should be seeking out the smartest, most well connected people you can find. These are the people you will learn from. These are the people who will lift you up to the next level.

Think of companies and their boards. Companies want only the best and brightest people on their boards. They want other leaders, other CEOs, other smart and accomplished people. Not because they can’t do it on their own. But, because they want their company to be the best out there, so it makes sense to have the best people making the big decisions. Think of yourself like a company: Who do you want on your board?

Find the right people to promote you and your ideas.

It turns out you actually can have the wrong people in your corner. Think about it: You may not want the office jerk to be the one to present your new idea to the boss. Or, you may not want that awful customer to promote your services. You need the right people to promote you.

One recent example of someone who surrounded himself with the right people is Dan Schawbel. While he no doubt welcomed the support of the entire blogging community for the release of his book Me 2.0, several key players in the Gen Y (and beyond) blogging community promoted his book: Rebecca, Tiffany, Ryan, and Monica, to name a few. He had the right people promoting his book. That, combined without a lot of factors, made it a success.

You, too, want the right people in your corner. Look for people who are well respected and well liked. These may not be the same people as in the “smart and successful” group, and that’s okay. This is the “likable” group. Make your connections broad, yet purposeful.

Be open to the help of others.

For some, accepting the help others means automatic defeat. This just simply isn’t true. Most people climb the ladder because someone on the rung above them gave them a hand.

The truth is people want to help other people. Especially those they see on the path to success. So, don’t think of it as a handout. It’s not.

So, why is it a dirty little secret?

Well, maybe it’s not quite that dirty or little. But it seems like few are willing to get to the heart of it: You need other people to succeed

It sounds one-sided.

Well, it shouldn’t be. You need to put just as much, if not more, into the relationship as you get out. This means leveraging your own connections, promoting others, and sharing your own knowledge with others.

It sounds manipulative.

It’s not. You’re not trying to dupe anybody. You’re not using anyone. You’re not even trying to get something for nothing. You’re simply aligning yourself with certain people, while being open to any and all (well, most) connections.

It sounds snobby.

Look: Nobody’s saying you should restrict your associations. There’s a lot of value in a large, diverse network. So, make as many connections as you can—just include some strategic connections in there as well!

The bottom line.

You need other people. Get this right, and you’ll no doubt be successful.

1. Gluttony (or hoarding powerful knowledge)

“I know something you don’t know!” If you have a brother or sister, you may heard this phrase sung in a very annoying voice over and over and over. (And, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, consider yourself lucky.) This is what the gluttonous professional does with information. And, we’re not talking top secret can’t-share-with-you-for-a-really-good-reason information. We’re talking information that can help other people, but isn’t shared because the “sinner” doesn’t want anyone else to get ahead. They take all the juicy tidbits on the trip up the ladder with them, not helping anyone else along the way.

Don’t be gluttonous (not that you would!): Play nice! It’s okay to help other people. Really, it is. One day, they may even help you back.

2. Lust (or sucking up)

So, maybe we don’t always think of lust as sucking up, but in our case, that’s exactly what it is. The Eddie Haskell of the office. Always ready with a over-the-top compliment, the lustful professional tries to get ahead through putting everyone else down and lifting themselves up.

Don’t be lustful (not that you would!): Compliments are great, but nobody likes a butt kisser. Do good work and promote it. No sucking up required.

3. Greed (or focusing too much on your salary)

Oh, how we all know about greed these days! Even with its bad rap, it’s still practiced everyday. The greedy professional is all about the money – to the determinant of their personal self and happiness. They focus on the salary and only on the salary. Don’t get me wrong: Your salary is important. You should most definitely get paid what you’re worth! But, there’s more to your career – and your life – than salary.

Don’t be greedy (not that you would!): Get paid what your worth, but do something you love in the process. If you can’t do something you love from nine to five for whatever reason, at least make sure you have passion in your life elsewhere.

4. Sloth (or totally not caring)

Slothful YPs watch the clock, just waiting to get the heck out of there. They go out of their way to not do any work, preferring to hide in the bathroom or at least behind their monitor. The may say they’re going to work, but they don’t actually do any real work. Well, it can be hard work avoiding work.

Don’t be slothful (not that you would!): Do some work! If work really sucks, set small, small attainable goals. Achieve flow.

5. Wrath (or serious self-denial)

These “sinners” have a serious case of self-denial. Seriously. Not good at picking up on subtle cues, they vehemently deny any wrongdoing of any kind. Ever. “I can’t believe he said that about my work isn’t cutting it. What does he know!?! My work is awesome. Right? Right.” You know who I’m talking about; unfortunately they probably don’t.

Don’t be wrathful (not that you would!): It’s okay to make mistakes. Be accountable. Take a step back and look at yourself. What small comments do you hear, and what does those small comments add up to?

6. Envy (or stewing of over the success of others)

Envious professionals spend their time feeling sorry for themselves and trying to figure out how everyone is successful but them. They don’t wish anyone a happy anything. If they can’t have it, then why should anybody else?

Don’t be envious (not that you would!): Be happy for the success of others. If you’re struggling with your own happiness and success, look at ways you might improve your work or your attitude or both. If you’re seriously being mistreated, talk to Human Resources or someone you trust.

7. Pride (or, well, pride)

Apparently pride is among the worst of the deadly sins. “I,” “my,” and “mine” are among the prideful’s favorite words. Everything is about them, 24/7. You’re telling a story, they interrupt with their own, much better version. You’ve got a great idea, they’ve got a better one. They know everything there is to know and are thrilled to tell you all about their vast knowledge anytime you want.

Don’t be prideful (not that you would!): Instead of being prideful in the most narcissist sense of the word, be a team player who is willing to their work and the work of their team.

I want to write, and I am writing, but I want to write more and I think of titles, like “6 Ways to Get Ahead” or “10 Things Every Young Professional Should Know.” But, they’re just titles; there’s no meat behind them. Right now, anyway.

I google inspiration. The results, are less than inspirational and leave me feeling icky and unsure.

Once again, I have to look elsewhere. I read. I watch. I search.

Nothing. Perhaps, a fleeting moment of inspiration. But, nothing that lasts.

Then I do.

And, it happens. By just writing that first word, I find that I can write more. Sure, I might delete a lot of them, too, but each word is followed by another and another and another. Is it inspiration? I’m not quite sure.  It just flows.

All along, I just needed to start. Sure, a little inspiration— a good book or blog post or quote —helps.

But, instead of waiting and searching, I just needed to Do, to Act, and to Reach.

So, is inspiration required? Are you waiting for inspiration to strike, or are you just doing?

Like many big-time readers, I’ve also always fantasized about writing a book. I tried fiction for a long time, and that just didn’t work out for me. So, I decided to turn my focus to nonfiction. And, it all started here on Girl Meets Business.

Coming in April 2009, I, along with Jenny Ferry, will be releasing an ebook:

The YP Rockstar: 10 Steps to Rocking Your Career Right Now.

The YP Rockstar: 10 Steps to Rocking Your Career Right Now will be packed with everything you need to rock your career (and your life!). If you enjoyed The YP Rockstar series featured on Girl Meets Business in January, you will love this ebook!  It will include: tons of real-world advice that you can put into action immediately, tips for your working it in a recession, proven coaching exercises by life coach extradionare Jenny Ferry, and resources for getting more information.  (And, a few other goodies we throw in along the way.)

I just couldn’t wait to tell you all about it! (Hey, there’s no better feeling than following your dreams!) And, the best part is I get to share everything I’ve learned – through all those books I’ve been reading and my experience – with you!

As Jenny and I put the final finishing touches on the book, here’s what you can do:

- Go to YPRockstar.com and sign up to receive email notifications

- Follow @yprockstar on Twitter

- Stay tuned to Girl Meets Business – there’s a lot more great stuff coming up!

Thanks so much for your support. You truly do rock!

(Check out my article The Big Deal About Mentors on OfficeArrow. This article explores the different kinds of mentors and which types may be best for you.)

Mentors can be a huge asset to your career. I know they have been to mine. Right now, I have four mentors. Yes, four – each with different experiences, in different careers, and with different advice to offer. When find a mentor and meet with her, here is what you should bring with you:

1.  An open mind

Your mentor has a lifetime of different experiences and these experiences may not always mesh with yours. You may think she has no idea what she’s talking about or wonder if the two of you have anything in common in at all. My advice? Give her a shot. Have an open mind. Not all advice is good advice, but if your mentor is worth anything, she’ll work hard to steer you in the right direction.

2.  Questions

Never leave a meeting with your mentor without asking her a question. Even if it’s just “What do you think about that?” You can ask for her opinion on everything from what suit you should wear to your next job interview to advice for advancing in your industry to how to deal with your bad boss. (Warning: If your mentor is within your organization, you may want to avoid that last one. Be smart. Make sure your conversations are confidential.)

Don’t forget to ask her about her. Everybody likes to talk about themselves. She, no doubt, has a wealth of stories and advice she can offer you – just ask. And, if your mentor is over 50, you’ll get a whole new take on what the office used to be like!

3.  Goals

Your mentor is going to want to know your ultimate goals. Bring these with you. If you’re not sure, that’s okay. But, don’t go in with a complete blank slate on your career path. You need some idea of what you hope to accomplish. She can help you shape your goals and even guide you on the right path, but you to bring the general direction to the table.

4.  Issues

Got career problems? Your mentor can help. I’ve gone to my mentors with a variety of career issues - big and small, and have always found that even if I don’t end up taking their advice, I at least have a better understanding of the problem and one way to solve it. Talk it out with your mentor. My guess is she would love nothing more than to help you!

5.  Ideas

Mentors are always saying, “I think I get more out of the relationship than my mentee.” Part of this is because of the ideas, passion, and excitement that younger people bring to the mentor relationship. Even if your mentor is just a few years older than (like one of mine), you actually have a lot to offer. Bring your ideas to the table.

6.  Your listening ears

I know it sounds like first grade, but your listening ears are important when meeting with your mentor. Too often we don’t really listen to what other people are saying. We’re too busy trying to think of what we’re going to say next (or what we’re going to have for lunch). But, your mentor is taking out time out of her busy schedule to meet with you. Take the time to really listen to what she has to say.

It’s because my focus changed. To me. And my health.

And, it got me thinking. What about all the people who are dealing with scary health issues everyday? People who deal with real life-threatening diseases and other challenging health problems? People who have children or parents or siblings with health issues? How do they cope? How do they get through their day? How do they deal when someone is rude to them, or badgering them, or even joking with them?

It reminds me of the Plato quote that I’ve always loved: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

How to deal when life changes:

Let someone know.

I realize that health issues are sensitive and private, and something you may not want to share with everyone. But, if you have a trusted co-worker or boss, you can say, “Hey, I don’t really want to get into the details, but I’m dealing with a health issue right now. I’m working through it, but I may need a little patience”

Correct people.

It’s okay to let people know you’re not in the joking mood. You don’t need to be rude or breakdown crying (if you can help it). Just a simple, “Wow. That comment kind of hit below the belt” should suffice. Most people aren’t rude on purpose. Give them the benefit of the doubt, but let them know if you just can’t take it.

Take the time.

If you’re like me, taking the time away from business is hard. (Admittedly, it becomes easier when you physically or mentally can’t be there. But, it’s still hard.) But, the truth is, your body needs to time. If you have an ongoing condition, obviously this becomes more challenging.

Pay attention.

It’s truly impossible to know what’s going on in the lives of our co-workers and even our friends. A kind word or a simple check-in can go a long way.

I’ll admit that my experience in this area is extremely limited. That’s why I welcome your experiences and advice.

As I get back into my life from my brief hiatus, I look forward to engaging with you. And, I’ll try to keep in mind, that you, too, are fighting a hard battle.

You need confidence. After all, it is your best accessory.

Here’s a secret about confidence: You can fake it. Maybe not for long periods of time. But it can be faked long enough to get through that interview, meeting, or speech.

Seven steps to faking confidence

1. Visualize.

What does it look like to be confident? What does it feel like to rock the interview? What do you say? How do you act? Now, close your eyes and picture it. Picture everything about it, from your great handshake to your impressive answers to your witty quips. Watch yourself go through these actions and really take the time to feel the feelings of confidence.

2. Psyche yourself up.

Right before you’re about to get on the stage, you start feeling all of the uneasiness. Your palms sweat, your stomach flutters, your mind goes blank. This is the time to start giving yourself a pep talk (in your head; you don’t want to look totally unstable). Tell yourself that you can do it, you’ll be great, you’ll wow them, you’re the best ever. Talk yourself into it.

3. Smile – genuinely.

Confident people smile. Or, at least smiling makes it seem like you’re more confident. Either way. According to Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink we can tell the difference between the a fake smile and a genuine smile, so try your best to relax and have a genuine smile.

4. Use humor.

Nothing shows confidence and builds rapport quite like humor. Especially when done correctly. Courting Your Career points out that you should keep your humor politically correct and safe. Another caution: Be careful not to turn your humor into dumb jokes and nervous laughter. It won’t work. Think witty.

5. Don’t apologize.

Apologizing shows weakness. Don’t do it (unless you really screwed something up). Don’t tell the audience you’ve been sick lately, don’t apologize to the hiring manager about the smudges on your cover letter, don’t let your co-workers know you didn’t bring the right notebook to the meeting. Be confident in your ability to get it right without apologizing.

6. Control your movements.

A big sign of nervousness is odd movements. Pacing, touching your face, ringing your hair, playing with your jacket buttons. Bad, bad, bad. As much as you can, keep your movements natural, but controlled. If this is a big problem for you, make sure you include this in your visualizations and practice until you can don’t need the crutch of distracting movements.

7. Be confident.

When you act a certain way, you are a certain way. Think about it. This isn’t about being fake. It’s about putting yourself into a mindset that allows you to act a certain way and be a certain way. So, be confident.