G is 4 Girl Blog Update

Erin’s Law and the Courageous Woman Fighting for Its Passage

2010-07-21T19:24:23Z

In grade school, kids learn about fire drills and severe weather drills; they learn about what foods to eat and what to do when encountering strangers. But what about getting educated on what to do if someone touches them inappropriately?

That’s Erin Merryn’s argument for the passage of Erin’s Law, a bill that would allocate funding for materials and programs that would help teach kids about sexual abuse and what to do if it happens to them. The bill has made its way through the Illinois legislature and Merryn hopes that it is passed on a national level too.

Merryn is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. After dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, and suicide attempts, she decided to take back her life and do something to help others. She has published two memoirs about her experiences, Stolen Innocence and Living for Today, and travels the country to speak to young people about what she endured. As she states on her web site:

“My mission is to take the stigma and shame off of sexual abuse survivors and give them a reason to speak. To educate the public that children are being abused right now in your own communities and our own backyards. I am at war against this silent evil that is lurking in the shadows.”

Now, she is working hard to bring awareness to Erin’s Law.

Many children who are abused remain silent. Merryn says she feels that if she were educated about sexual abuse as a child, she might have spoken out sooner. Both she and her sister were abused by a cousin, something Merryn kept a secret for years.

We worry about registered sex offenders living in our neighborhood. But what about those who have never been convicted? Or what about family members or acquaintances we seem to trust? I often wonder about how many children are abused but who are afraid or ashamed to speak out and tell someone. Erin’s Law could change that by empowering kids. Merryn has the courage and determination to help make that happen and make a difference in the lives of many children.

To learn more about Erin or Erin’s Law, visit her web site or follow her on Twitter.

Bellaboo Skin Care: All-Natural Products for Teens, All-Natural Approach to Self-Esteem

2010-06-28T03:40:40Z

I love learning about companies that aren’t simply committed to creating great products, but are also committed to having a positive influence on the lives of those who use them.

Bellaboo Skin Care is one such company. Ever heard of them? If not, soon you will. Bellaboo hails from Australia and they’re just starting to make an impact on the lives of girls here in the U.S. Their goal is not only to provide girls with all-natural skin care products—chemical-free face washes, moisturizers, masks, exfoliators, blemish serums—but also to help counter the media’s unrealistic definition of beauty and to promote higher self-esteem in girls.

Bellaboo was founded by Snezna Kerekovic, an ex-beauty editor and mom who had a hard time finding skin care products for her daughter that did not contain a cocktail of chemicals. Snezna set out to change all that, and in doing so created Bellaboo Skin Care—a line of products made from natural, nurturing botanicals that are more beneficial for young skin than our common chemical-laden ones.

Rather than trying to guess at what girls wanted in skin care, Snezna formed the “Bellaboo Crew”—a group of girls aged 13-20 who weighed in on what teen girls really wanted: products that are unique, natural, effective and socially conscious.

The result? I decided to see for myself. I tried the cleanser, exfoliator, mask and moisturizer. I figured I had samples that would last me a week or two, then I’d be back to my regular routine. I’m no teen, but after having the Bellaboo experience, I’m kissing my shelf of Neutrogena cleansers and moisturizers goodbye! Each item smelled amazing and felt even better on my skin. I really think my skin looks better for it. And I’m not the only one—my hubby agrees! All Bellaboo products range in price from $9.99 to $14.99 and are now available at Drugstore.com and Rite Aid. None are tested on animals and all come in recycled packaging.

Bellaboo is also committed to improving girls’ self-esteem. In an age where super-skinny, airbrushed supermodels grace nearly every magazine cover, it is now more important than ever that girls realize how unnatural those images really are. To learn about Bellaboo’s take on the issue and read their action plan, check out an article recently posted on their site, “Ban the Beauty Brain Wash.” My favorite point encourages girls to create a ‘Circle of Confidence’ by directly trying to boost the confidence of their friends and other females around them. Now that’s the true definition of what the teen girls on my block might call ‘wicked!’

Or grab your daughter and watch this moving short documentary created by Bellaboo, where real girls talk about their feelings about body image and self-esteem:

To learn more about Bellaboo, visit their website at BellabooBabe.com.

Have Fun this Summer, But Keep Your Kids Safe In and On the Water!

2010-06-21T17:13:12Z

It’s now officially summer. For kids, that means spending hot summer days cooling off in water.

Whether it’s in a pool, at the beach, on a boat or at a water park, there are many things we parents need to do to make sure kids are safe while enjoying fun in the summer sun.

Unfortunately, summer fun and water can be a dangerous combination. According to the site, KidsHealth.org, drowning is the second most common cause of death from injuries for kids under 14 years old. Here are some tips to keep your kids safe when they hit the pool or beach:

Supervise Adult supervision is key in keeping kids safe. No matter how good a swimmer a child is, or how many other children he or she is swimming with, an adult should be watching your child swim at all times.

Set Rules Make sure your child knows there are rules to follow when it comes to having summer fun. Your child should never swim alone and only swim when an adult is present. Make sure your child knows there are rules in place that must be followed and that their purpose is to keep them as safe as possible.

Only Swim in Designated Swim Areas Lakes and rivers can have unseen dangers, such as rocks, other submerged objects, or dangerous currents. Only allow your children to swim in areas that are created for the purpose of swimming.

Lifejackets for Everyone When we go boating, everyone must wear a lifejacket—even us adults. The kids we take must put on their lifejackets on shore — not on the dock or pier. Why on shore? Small children can fall in water and sink within seconds. Some lakes we visit are murky, which means someone can disappear beneath the surface very quickly. We adults wear our jackets also to set an example. People sometimes complain of lifejackets not being comfortable to wear for an entire afternoon, but when I wear my properly-fitted kayaking lifejacket, I often forget it’s even on! Also, some municipalities have free life jacket rentals for kids. Our local fire department lets parents check out lifejackets for kids for a week at a time (like checking out a library book). And inflatable toys or inner tubes are no substitute for life jackets! For more info on lifejackets, check out the U.S. Coast Guard’s lifejacket page.

Swim Lessons A good investment for any family. Your local park district or YMCA offers classes at reasonable rates. Not only will kids get more used to the water with lessons, but they’ll learn about water safety and have a blast too!

Have fun this summer, but also stay safe! Respect the water and weather conditions and enjoy!

To learn more about water safety, check out Bobber, a fun site that teaches kids about being safe on the water with activities, coloring pages and more!

When will the crowd’s roar be deafening for female athletes?

2010-06-11T16:32:36Z

The excitement is everywhere lately.

Today’s the parade for our hometown Stanley Cup winners, the Chicago Blackhawks.

Twitter is all a-buzz with World Cup madness (the site is even acting up due to overcapacity issues some speculate is being caused by the multitude of tweets about the event.)

Sports talk radio rambles on and on (and on) about baseball.

All of this kind of depresses me.

What about women’s sports? When will people ever get excited about a female sports team or a whole league for that matter? Sometimes, if a women’s Olympic team excels (remember soccer’s Mia Hamm?) and does well, then some excitement catches on, or if an individual performs well (like Lindsey Vonn, this year’s medal-winning Olympic skiier) then people take notice. But women’s professional leagues (such as the WNBA) have struggled to gain followers. In fact, have we ever had mass hysteria for a women’s team? Not that I can remember. (But if you do, please leave a comment!)

Growing up, the big team here in Chicago was the 1985 Super Bowl Champion Chicago Bears. They’re still talked about frequently. So much personality. Spirit. Talent. At the time I was 11 and—because of them and the frenzy they created—aspired to be a professional football player (no joke). I figured I could kick. I dressed up as quarterback Jim McMahon for halloween. The only football team I ever could really join back then was my high schools “Powderpuff” team (great name, eh?) and I did, but it was disbanded before we ever took a snap because the school district deemed it “too dangerous” for us girls and a big insurance liability.

But then, I had a teacher. Her name was Dorothy Ortman and she taught 4th grade at Winston Churchill Elementary. She was stern, tough, feared even. One day she came in with a scrapbook. She was a pitcher for the Racine Belles in the women’s baseball league in the 1940’s, the one they made into the 1992 movie “A League of Their Own.” I remember thinking, “Wow. Women were professional baseball players! And lots of people came to watch them!” But then the war ended. Men came home and played again and the league was scrapped. Besides, with men here, who really wanted to watch women play? Just a wartime novelty, right? But I thought what Mrs. Ortman had done was cool. And to present it to our class, I think she did too.

Girls today have many wonderful role models to choose from—and not just female athletes. The ground-breakers are everywhere: business, politics, science. But is it wrong for me to feel some jealousy toward men’s sports teams? Why can’t we get some hype? Some men have even gone so far as to say women athletes will never get as much attention because many of them aren’t attractive enough. Danica Patrick gets the endorsements and the publicity because she is “hot.”

The NCAA Women’s College World Series is underway. Have you heard it in the news lately? Maybe not. Is Twitter buzzing from its results? No. There’s so much talent in this tournament, but once it’s over for the seniors—where will they go? Probably either to get regular jobs like the rest of us or to coach, which is great, but without a professional league like the men, their sports careers might end.

So hooray Hawks! Go Brazil or whomever you root for in the Cup! It’s fun to follow a team and cheer them onto victory. I know. When it comes to certain sports, I can become kind of a fanatic. And perhaps I’m as guilty as everyone else. In writing this, I realized that most of the athletes I usually root for have first names like Pat and Chris, but they don’t sport ponytails.

To Work or Not to Work: A Memorial Day Weekend Question Answered

2010-06-03T15:19:17Z

At the lake, perfecting the art of relaxation.

As my family and I packed up last weekend for a little trip up to Northern Wisconsin, I walked past my husband and loaded a very heavy briefcase-y bag into the car.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Just some work I thought I’d bring along.”

“When are you going to do that?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Here and there, maybe.”

He scowled.

“Why don’t you take a few days off and just enjoy the weekend?”

WHAT!?! But I had a million work-related things to do! How could I take four days off? No way! I’d work in the car. I’d work when everyone else was sleeping. I’d work—

“Trust me. You’ll be fine,” he said.

I wasn’t so sure. As a mom, wife, daughter, business person—I always feel like I should be doing something because, well, there’s always something to do. I couldn’t remember the last time I just sat…and did…nothing.

Still, I packed my bags. All of them. Work included. And away we went.

The weather was beautiful. We went to the beach. We played by the lake. A couple days went by and my work bag went unzipped.

Then, an opportunity arose. My daughter took a nap. Our other friends went off for a walk. My husband went to tinker on a boat. I sat on the deck, alone. My work bag loomed in the other room. As I looked at the lake, I thought about taking it out, getting out paper and pen and getting to work.

A boat whizzed by on the water. A seagull hollered. The leaves in the trees blew back and forth. Kids’ laughter echoed off the rocks somewhere down shore.

I decided it was time. I went in the house, walked right past my responsibilities and picked up…a cocktail.

I spent the next forty minutes doing…absolutely nothing. I absolutely loved it. And needed it.

This past weekend, I realized that I don’t always have to be doing something. We all need time to unwind. To relax and just be. Sometimes work—whether it’s paperwork or a household chore—can wait. Especially in the summer, on lazy sunny days when the hubby’s off of work and there’s no school to rush to.

The great thing is that I learned this lesson on Memorial Day weekend. Which means, I have a whole summer full of lazy days, just waiting for me to enjoy.

May you enjoy it too!

Calling All Parents! Join us for a Unique Twitter Party Event!

2010-05-27T15:04:56Z

Join us for an evening of fun, giveaways, and tips on how to raise kids with higher self-esteem!

At our Parents Nite In(spired) Twitter Party, June 9, 2010 from 9-11 PM EST on Twitter! All you need is a Twitter ID (sign up for free at Twitter). Then follow @Gis4Girl and @DrIngrid and our hashtag, #parentsnitein.

Our special guest host, NYC psychologist and relationship coach Dr. Ingrid Schweiger (DrIngrid.com), author of Self-Esteem for a Lifetime: Raising a Successful Child from the Inside Out, will be on hand to answer any questions you have and offer parenting tips based on her experiences, both professional and personal.

We’ll also be giving away dozens of prizes and mentioning special offers during the party from the following mom-founded businesses: The Boys Store, Chit Chat Beauty, Fashion Playtes, Ficklets, G is 4 Girl, iTwixie, Pigtail Pals, Raecole’s “The Goddess Box,” Sweet Pea Kidz Too, and copies of Dr. Ingrid’s book!

To register or for more information, visit our Parents Nite In(spired) Twitter Party Page or email me at erin@gis4girl.com.

My Tribute to an Amazing Mom this Mother’s Day–Mine!

2010-05-07T20:33:09Z

When I was in college, I was asked to write an essay about someone I really admired.

I chose my Dad.

He started his own business and it was a difficult road, but he succeeded, and I did (and still do) admire him a great deal. However, I realized recently that if I were asked the same question today, I might choose a different subject.

My mother grew up in a time when most women weren’t really encouraged to go to college, let alone pursue careers. From what I am told, my mom didn’t get the best grades in high school. When she graduated, she did get a job, but that’s what it was: a job. Not a career path. Things were different back then. Girls were expected to grow up and have families. They were expected to get married.

So she married— at 21—and worked. Then she had me. As she was raising me, she realized that one day soon I would be in school, and she would be—well, where would she be? Still at home? No, we needed her contribution financially. Then she would find ‘just another job?’ No, she decided to choose a path that would make a difference.

She decided to challenge herself and enrolled in nursing school. She applied herself, worked hard and ended up earning straight A’s! I remember I was about six years old when I attended her graduation. I was very proud of her and impressed by one of her graduation gifts: a t-shirt that read “Nurses Call the Shots!” It was a phrase that really fit her.

But it wasn’t easy. She had to work nights. She had to work weekends. She sometimes had to work holidays, like Christmas. That’s what nurses do. They help people, even when everyone else might be at home with their families celebrating.

Sometimes, it was difficult for me to understand. When she came home from the night shift, I wanted her up, with me. Sometimes, after only a couple hours of sleep, I’d make some noise, hoping she would get up (sorry, Mom!) And she would emerge, looking groggy, but awake. And she’d go about her day like the rest of us who actually had some sleep.

She’d also wake me up before school, put my hair in braids so I would look nice, and laid me back down to finish my sleep. I always had a nice lunch in my lunchbox waiting for me, usually containing a handwritten note on a napkin, telling me to have a great day or simply, “I love you.”

She did everything: worked, cooked, cleaned, took care of everybody. I never realized how hard all of her combined jobs really were until I became a mother myself. And I have it easy: I don’t work full time, I don’t work a night shift, and I’ve never worked on Christmas.

Several years ago, we were driving to the movies together. On our way, we spotted a car off to the side of the road. As we drove slowly past, we saw an older woman inside, slumped over.

Without speaking, my mom pulled over, opened the woman’s door, realized she might be having a stroke, and she kept her airway open, holding the woman’s tongue with her fingers until paramedics arrived.

Once they did arrive, she said, “Okay. Let’s go to our movie.”

“Don’t you want to wait around?” I said.

“Why?” she asked, surprised. “They don’t need me anymore.”

But what I meant was, “Don’t you want to wait around for someone to acknoweldge what you did? Get a thanks, a pat on the back? Maybe a parade?”

“Let’s go,” she said. “Or we won’t have time to get popcorn.”

My mother doesn’t need accolades or congratulations, in anything she does. But I am proud to call her my mom. And though I don’t tell her as often as I should:

I love you, Mom! You always took care of everybody, even when that meant you didn’t take the best care of yourself! Thank you for all you do! And Happy Mothers Day! Love, Erin

This Week is Girls Rights Week! What Does that Mean and What Can You Do to Help?

2010-05-05T12:00:08Z

In case you haven’t heard, there’s a non-profit organization called Girls Inc. that’s “dedicated to inspiring all girls to be strong, smart, and bold.” They work toward achieving this goal 24/7/365. But this week the focus on helping girls around the world gets more attention because it’s officially Girls Rights Week!

What does that mean? It means more awareness for the plight of girls around the world to be seen as equals in the eyes of all. It means that there are steps each of us—male and female—can take to help advance girls’ rights and gender equity worldwide. It means for people and governments recognizing that girls not only have rights but should be afforded rights equal to those of men.

Some people believe that if you change the life of one girl, that then in turn can change the lives of all of those around her: her family, her community, even her nation. Studies prove that the more that girls have access to education, the less likely they are to marry as children, the more they know about keeping themselves and their children (including unborn) healthy, the more likely they are to speak out when a wrong occurs against them and the more likely they are to be productive, working members of their families and society, contributing financially.

Girls can do amazing things—just as much as boys can. We try to teach that to our children here, but girls everywhere need to know that and need to know that there are women all over the world who believe that and support that.

To learn more about Girls Rights Week and read the “Girls Bill of Rights,” check out Girls, Inc. And may your week be filled with Girl Power!

Creeps + Fear + Being a Woman = Just Another Day at the Office

2010-04-28T16:48:46Z

I have a day job. One I really like, actually.

I am the marketing manager and prepress technician at a Chicago-area print company. I’ve been here for 12 years.

When my boss is away, I am in charge, like I am today. I work hard and like to think I do a good job as a supervisor.

However, I am a woman. And this brings about all sorts of trouble.

Take this morning’s incident. A man came into our shop to sell us something. He said where he was from and gave me his card. He asked me if I was the owner (actually, what he said was, “Are you the head-honcho lady?”) I said no. He then proceeded to ask me if I had “heard about those two women who got their heads beaten in?” (His exact words).

Um. Excuse me?!?

I had heard the news story circulating Chicago this week about two women who were brutally attacked and robbed in the city at 3 am. Fortunately, suspects are in custody.

“Yeah, I think they deserved it,” he said with a smile. “I mean, women shouldn’t be on the streets at 3 am. You know they were just leaving a bar or something.”

I never asked this man for his opinion, but he gave it, as repulsive as it was. The more frightening thing was that he did so in a threatening way. He also specifically asked me first if I was the owner of the company. If I had said yes, he might not have gone any further. Regardless, once he left, I threw his card in the trash.

This is not the first time I have encountered this kind of behavior directed at me simply because I am a female. I have had a man speak to me about the size of his male anatomy when picking up some of our used equipment, another delivery man asked if I had heard a story about a woman being stuffed inside a box the size of the one he was delivering. I have been referred to as “little lady” and “honey.” Comments such as these NEVER happen when one of my male colleagues is around. NEVER.

There is an office across the street that’s a client of ours. A few weeks ago, I went to pay them a visit, only to find that the door was locked. As I turned to leave, I heard a voice: “Hi, Erin! We’re still here!”

The two female customers of mine had locked the door because all of the males in the office were out for the afternoon. The two women felt safer to have it locked. Make sure there were no surprises or threats that could walk right in. This is on the affluent North Shore of Chicago. I rarely hear about crime happening here, and yet we female professionals must resort to locking our doors in the middle of the afternoon, just in case. And after my encounter today, I think it’s a good idea.

I am tired of it and angry about it. I can call this man’s supervisor and alert him to his behavior, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen again tomorrow.

When I was a girl, I was told by my parents and teachers that I could do anything. Maybe I was sheltered, maybe I was naive, but I never realized that for the rest of my life I would have to deal with threats and intimidation in the workplace—not from co-workers, mind you. But others I encounter on a daily basis.

This is not just about ‘equal pay.’ This is not just about creating policies in the workplace to thwart sexual harassment. This is about a woman’s right to be seen as 100% equal to a man everywhere. Of being able to go to work and feel safe whether you’re working for a large, policy-strewn corporation or a small business down the street. To walk outside at 3 am with another girlfriend and not assume that we’re going to be attacked and have others blame us if we are. (Apparently, as seen today, some harbor the opinion that women who are out after dark should expect to be beaten and robbed).

I have a dream too, and that is to have my daughter grow up as a true equal to men. To live without fear. To have equal pay for equal work. To live without harassment of any kind. It hasn’t happened yet. The Equal Rights Amendment never passed. And why was that? Probably for many political reasons that I’ll never understand. But maybe one reason was that the general, underlying consensus in our society and in others is that women really aren’t equal to men. Maybe most men say we are but deep down, just don’t really believe it. I’ve encountered that attitude on a day-to-day basis too.

But as far as today’s creepy encounter goes, whatever he was selling, I won’t buy it. And unless companies and people change their behavior, other women in decision-making positions won’t either. And believe me, the number of women in leadership roles will only grow from now on. We women are powerful. We talk to each other. We tell others about our experiences. No one reputable—male or female—wants to do business with creeps. The business world is survival of the fittest, and I’m sorry but, incidents like the one I experienced today aren’t fit for anywhere, let alone the workplace.

A New Double-Standard: Girls Can do Anything, But Boys…Can’t?!?

2010-04-23T16:23:50Z

We all know now that girls can do anything they put their hearts and minds to. I’ve written about this subject on this blog time and time again. There are so many people out there now involved in organizations that were established to help prove this and encourage this sentiment in girls all over the world.

But what about boys?

How do parents feel if their sons approach them and tell them they would like to take up ballet? That they would like a pink t-shirt rather than a blue one? That they would like a Strawberry Shortcake DVD rather than Bob the Builder? That it is their dream to become not a doctor, but a nurse?

Hopefully, there are many open-minded parents out there who encourage their sons’ dreams, whatever they may be. However, I have encountered some who would discourage their sons from certain career choices. Parents who are even disturbed that their son might prefer something construed as “girly” or “feminine.”

Image from the movie "Billy Elliot"

I love the movie/musical “Billy Elliot.” Set in a rough-and-tumble mining town in Northern England, young Billy’s father has signed up his son to take boxing lessons. But as it turns out, Billy’s true passion lies in ballet. The heart of the story is really his father’s struggle with this fact and his acceptance of his son’s choices. Billy continuously fights against his father’s influence for his chance to dance…and wins.

Billy’s father’s problem with ballet was one of image: he didn’t want his friends and family to see his son as being inferior to other boys because of his involvement with ballet. If someone thought Billy was “a sissy” for dancing, that would reflect poorly on him as a father. All the other boys boxed, so his should too in order to fit it with their society and culture.

Perhaps that’s how many parents view their own son’s preferences. If a boy wears pink, will he be gay? And if he’s gay, will he not be as accepted by family and friends? And will we, as his parents, appear to have not done as good a job as we could have?

Women have fought for decades to have the same rights as men: the right to vote, the right to go to school, the right for equality in the workforce. We are still fighting to this day for equality both here and around the world. And we really have come a long way. There is more awareness that girls really are intellectually equal to boys, that their opinions matter just as much, and that they can do any job just as proficiently.

But boys should have that freedom and those rights too. They should also be told to follow their passions and apply themselves to whatever pursuits they wish. Unlike women, who have had to fight discrimination and even sometimes laws against admittance, boys have the legal freedom to do as they please. However, the discrimination they might face might be just as challenging, since it is one that comes from their own families or society.

Organizations such as Care and The Girl Effect often say we need to change the world one girl at at time. Maybe its time also to change people’s minds one boy at a time too.

For more info on Billy Elliot the Musical, now playing in Chicago, New York and London, click here.