Have you heard this phrase? Boys are encouraged to go wild and feast on as many girls as they can before settling down with ’the one’. You could also say many girls are equally as wild and are adapting the same double standard in their relationships today.

This phrase basically tells us that there are girls/guys whom you can treat with utter disrespect.  Their feelings and emotions are of no consequence or concern to you as you ultimately see them as less human than yourself.  They are dirty women/men whom don’t deserve honour and are of less perceived value than others.  In short, we can consume and then discard them.

Cannibalism is the practice of consuming others for our own pleasure. Is this vile act back in vogue?

We should never categorise humans into classes.The sub-human playmate or the human companion. No matter what future you see with an individual you should treat every human with dignity.

Everyday I hear the most heartbreaking stories from both girls and guys who have been mistreated by members of the opposite sex. Hurting from experiences that first seemed harmless but now leave them with scars that run very deep.

Every life is sacred. Every life is unique. That includes your own.  Treat yourself and others with the honour and value they deserve.

“The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.”
Winston Churchill

I love hearing predictions of what the future holds.  I love dreaming about new innovations and ideas. Far too many people are trapped by their past and paralyzed by their present.  For others contemplating their future seems aloof, and too difficult to imagine. Yet in order to free our mind from past hurts and present fears we need to dream about what the future could hold for us.  Your actions will follow your thoughts.  If you can unhinge your thinking, the direction your life is heading will soon become clear.

Bryce Courtenay is one of Australia’s most successful writers.  But his first book was not published until ten years before retirement age!  That’s right, 55!  Since then he has written more than a book a year. Today at 76 he is still as passionate about writing as what he was 20 years ago. In his own words he says “Twelve hours a day, six days a week, and eight months a year”[i] he writes. His work ethic and commitment to making the most out of his talents is inspiring.

The best days of your life are not behind you, but in front of you! There is a reason why the windscreen is bigger than the rear-view mirror. Spend your time gazing into your future rather than being inoculated by your past.

You have to have more dreams, than memories!

5 TIPS TO CHOOSING A CAREER

It can be really daunting when starting out in life to know what choices to make, but I have developed the following tips for students and school leavers when deciding on a career path:

1. Follow your passion – too many people end up in 9 to 5 jobs that are unfulfilling.

Finding your purpose in life is all about identifying what you are passionate about and where your talents lie.
While it is good to seek advice from parents, peers and mentors, it’s up to you to identify your true interests. Make a list of the things you love doing and where your talents lie. You may require training and practice to improve your skills, but if it is passion that is driving you to achieve your goals, the negatives shouldn’t hold you back.

2. Set goals – be specific about what you want out of a career – from your financial goals to lifestyle ideals.

Are you looking for travel, flexible hours or long-term career progression? Deciding what your specific priorities are will help you to establish and ultimately achieve your goals.

3. Explore different career fields – many careers exist today that most people would never considered some years ago as they simply didn’t exist.

Talk with a career counsellor at your high school or TAFE/college and take advantage of resources available online or at your school’s career centre. But think outside the box.  Don’t be afraid to dream about what new things are coming to the marketplace and how you could get involved?

4. Establish mentors – study the people who are already living your dream.

Who are the people you admire in the areas you are interested in and how did they get to where they are?

Like I did with sprinters, expand your knowledge of leaders in your field of choice. Watch, listen and learn about how they do what they do and how they got to where they are today. You can choose people who inspire you from afar, but you also need someone who is accessible, someone you can meet face-to-face who can give practical advice each step of the way.

5. Gain some work experience – try interning, volunteering or shadowing a professional in a field that interests you.

Not only will you gain experience, but you will also be able to decide if you would enjoy working in that career every day.

How to choose your child’s school?

With the raging debate regarding the Government’s launch of the Myschools website I thought it would be high time for me to throw in my opinion on how I believe parents ought to choose their child’s school, given that this has been a question I have received hundreds of times.

I have had the privilege of working in Australian schools for 10 years, visiting and actively engaging in the social fibre of over 300 hundred schools in every state, across a wide ranging spectrum including; Public schools, Private schools, Christian Schools, Catholic, Jewish, Steiner Schools, Comprehensive and Selective Schools, Single Sex and Co-ed Schools, Specialist Schools which House Sporting Academy’s and Schools specialising in the Performing Arts, to name a few.

Not only have I been employed to visit such schools but I have noted tremendous differences in student’s behaviour, their attitude to learning, school culture, staff commitment to their students and have observed leadership structures of varying degrees. I have been privy to staff room chatter and what really happens in day to day school life.

As a speaker my primary focus is to connect with my audience. I need to have an understanding of who they are and what they stand for and believe in. I have developed a high level of discernment so as to ascertain how to scratch where my audience is itching. So it is with this level of experience I would like to share with you my top ten tips in choosing a school for your child.

To answer this question most effectively for your child, I need to first ask you a question, “What is your vision for your child?” The answer to that question could be the most significant thought you receive from this article. By vision I mean, what kind of person are you endeavouring to raise? What kind of person do you want them to become? Not just in terms of academic results but character traits.

Parents need to have a vision in their minds eye, of what their child could become, notice I said ‘become’ and not ‘do’. We are not raising human doings but human beings. The clearer the vision, the easier the decision will be on which school fits the vision.

Top Ten Tips

1. Leadership: Everything rises and falls on leadership. While sadly the debate on private and public schooling will continue to distract us, the real issue about what makes or breaks a school never gets discussed, and that is leadership. I have seen both private and public schools become elevated through strong leadership and come to utter demise because of lack of leadership. Be open to all forms of schools; choose schools based on leadership rather than type. The easiest way to critique a school in this manner is to see how well the school receptionist greets you. If leadership is strong it will echo throughout every facet of school life.
2. Values: Does the school you choose for your child share the same values as your family? Are you clear on what values you want passed on to your children? Each and every school in Australia has their core values displayed somewhere in the foyer. The question to ask is how these values are instilled in the students. When you find a school with a similar value set, make sure they are reinforced at home. If the school has a set value position and policy in place regarding behaviour, punctuality and dress code, make sure these same values are bolstered in the home. If you don’t share the same values as the school, send your child to a school that does.
3. Opportunity: What sought of opportunities are available for your child to pursue at the school of your choosing, not just in terms of subjects, although that’s important, but extra-curricular activities? I strongly believe that every child has a unique talent or gift. Our role as parents is to provide a place for those talents to be cultivated. Talents without opportunity to germinate are destined to be lost forever.
4. Discipline: What are the procedures regarding the schools disciplinary issues?  How is bullying handled? How will I be notified as a parent if my child has behavioural issues or is a victim and what can I, as a parent do to support the school in these matters? As a warning to parents, your child may at times be unjustly punished. Life is unfair and not everything will go their way however help them to develop resilience and allow them to serve the given consequence.
5. Sense of Community: Everyone wants to belong; it is a fundamental human need. Social networking is trying to achieve what in the olden days only family could, a sense of connection with others who are like minded. Make this one a priority. It will improve the wellbeing of your child and help build resilience in ways you couldn’t imagine.
6. Openness to Spirituality: Please don’t misread this. I am not talking about religious fundamentalism or militant atheism, either side of these pendulums are dangerous and both preach intolerance.  We want to raise open-minded children, who become seekers of truth. Information fills our heads with knowledge, but leaves our psyche empty. Life’s mysteries must be reflected on and contemplated in order to develop a healthy soul.
7. Commitment to Social Justice and Community Service: No parent wants to raise a self-centred, narcissistic child. We live in a global community, and as global citizens it is vital that we foster empathy. Empathy is more than a feeling, it creates a desire to take action on behalf of those less fortunate. It is an emotion that must be taught and developed in order to bloom into full scale social transformation.
8. Tradition: Sadly a sense of tradition has been lost in our throw away consumer society. Nothing gets passed or handed on because everything is consumed and thrown away.  Whether it’s a story, a poem or a custom, as humans we need to connect with those that have gone before us. It fortifies us and helps motivate us to continue to learn, grow and move forward.
9. Distance: Be practical where possible, with the time involved in getting to and from school. Your child will spend 78,000 hours at school from K-12. Adding to this unwanted travel, probably does not instil in them a lifelong commitment to learning. If you find yourself with little choice as to the distance you have to travel, be committed to your child’s education and find ways to make the travel time fun and use this time effectively.
10. Cost: A practical consideration, but obviously very important. There will always be costs to consider and I am not just talking about school fees, because public education is free but it’s not cheap. There are uniforms, textbooks, excursions, and extra-curricular activities, but I personally couldn’t think of a better investment than our children.

Additional information regarding data on individual schools is available from the much advertised myschools website (www.myschool.edu.au). Whilst there is some very good information on this site, I personally would not recommend making such an important decision solely on this information. Data is important, if I was raising a robot, this would be all I would need. However I am parenting a human, whom is complex and profound and multi-dimensional.

Choosing your child’s school is an important decision. The environment, in which your child learns and grow, will play a significant role in their attitudes, beliefs and behaviour. However the most essential environment for your child is a home that is loving, supportive and committed to setting them on the pathway of a life of learning.

“Breaking Barriers is my thing.”
Usain Bolt (Time Magazine December 28th 2009, p74)

Mark Denny from Stanford University calculated that the fastest a human being will be able to run due to physical limitations will be 9.48 seconds.

This study was conducted soon after the Beijing Olympics when Usain ran the unthinkable world record time of 9.69 seconds. No one had run faster and he seemed to do it effortlessly at just 21 years of age.

It would be impossible to conceive that anyone could ever run faster than this. Then last year in Germany at the World Championships Usain again broke his own world record at 9.58 seconds, shaving .11 off his previous best. Watching the race you would be convinced he could still run faster. (Check out this youtube clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By1JQFxfLMM). Sprinters only reach the peak into their late twenties, Usain is still only 23.

In this instance I think I will be backing a barrier breaking Usain, rather than what experts say can’t be done.

By the same token I think this year you will surprise yourself if you remain committed to constant and never ending improvement.

YOUR BREAKING BARRIERS CHALLENGE

Perfect athlete’s 100m sprint time calculated 13:32 28 November 2008 by David Robson New Scientist http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16160-perfect-athletes-100m-sprint-time-calculated.html?full=true&print=true. Sighted 12/01/10

What have so called experts in your life told you can’t be done?
How committed are you to proving it can?

This is your year to dance!

“The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath.”
The Bible Mark 2:27

Selah is a biblical word that means; REST, SILENCE, PAUSE, END, BREAK, HALT, INTERLUDE, INTERMISSION, LULL, RESPITE, STILLNESS or TIME OUT.

The Sabbath is the day Jews and Christians celebrate Selah. A day of stillness and contemplation.

“Six days you shall work but the seventh day you shall rest.” Exodus 34:21

This is a good reminder to us that there are more important things than making money or completing everything on our ”To Do” lists. The Sabbath is symbolic of a day or time where we free ourselves from mindless, robotic tasks and pressures and pause to reflect on life’s mysteries. It is also a time to acknowledge and be grateful for the blessings in our world. Life is demanding. Our lives can become so congested and our schedules so crammed that sacred moments are lost. Is it any wonder why, at times, we feel so empty and overwhelmed? A day of rest is an opportunity to refuel and refocus.

“Even an artist cannot continuously wield his brush. He must stop at times to freshen his vision.” Living is also an art. The Sabbath represents those moments when we pause to renew our vision.

YOUR SELAH CHALLENGE

Your Selah day, or your Sabbath, does not have to be on a Sunday. Nowadays many people are forced to work on Sundays. Regardless of the day or time you choose, be sure to schedule a break into your week. Make it a day, or even half day, of rest.

A time to REFOCUS! A time to REFUEL! A time to REIGNITE!

Life is short. Make sure you stop and smell the roses.
Plan what you are going to do with your time off. Plan to go for a walk along the beach or in the park. Find a quiet spot to write in your journal. Give yourself time to reflect, relax and recharge for the coming week.

WRITE FIVE THINGS YOU WILL DO ON YOUR NEXT “SELAH” DAY (WHICH HOPEFULLY, SHOULD BE LESS THAN SEVEN DAYS AWAY!)

You will be amazed how much more energy and focus you have at work, at home and in school if you give your mind and your body a chance to rest.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
-Maria Robinson

Having faith in your future is a powerful thing. No matter what mistakes or bad decisions you have made in your past you can decide today to work on a new ending to your circumstances in life.

You don’t have to live in your past.

Embrace a faith and anticipation of your future that allows you to learn from your mistakes and walk in a new direction. Mistakes are only bad if we repeat them. Mistakes are an essential part of living and growing.

Be excited about tomorrow, about next week, about next year.

Know that you are stronger than you were yesterday.
You have more experience than what you had yesterday.
You have more knowledge than what you had yesterday.
You have more talent than what you had yesterday.
You have more discipline than what you had yesterday.
You have more ability that what you had yesterday.

So have more faith than what you had yesterday and start today to change tomorrow!

Turn your fears into faith!

Write down five fears that you have and turn them into faiths. Here’s a few to get you started…

I will believe, not doubt.
I will create and not destroy.
I will lead and not follow.
I will confront and not avoid.
I will succeed and not fail.
I will get up and not lay down.

Now speak your faiths over your life daily!

“…there is more to life than being
rich, thin, young, famous, safe and entertained…”
-Barack Obama

I want to do something with my life. I don’t want to live for myself. There are people that need me. There are people that need you. Yet why are we so selfish?

Maybe one of the reasons so many people in our nation are depressed, anxious and lonely is because we haven’t reached beyond ourselves. We get so focused on ‘moi’ and whether or not we are rich, famous and being entertained, that we neglect the fact that there are people who have real problems.

There is way too much focus on external attributes and clearly not enough focus on developing inner character. But I guess for those whom lack any semblance of an interior life, the only way they can prove their life counts is with external features.

Live a life that is driven from within, driven towards developing core values like love, honesty, faith, truth, peace, goodness, grace and self control. Inner greatness will always triumph over external shallowness.

Ask yourself…

What values drive you?
How much attention do you spend towards developing positive traits in your life?
Where do your values come from?

Develop a plan that will see these values enlarge your life, thereby consequently your world.

“The one thing in the world, of value, is the active soul.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Feeling a little apathetic? Have a pile of work that needs to be done? Is studying for next week’s exam the last thing on your mind? Do you feel lazy and motionless? Looking for a cure to ennui?

What sort of counsel can you give a lazy person? It’s not like you can say to them, ‘Stop doing nothing!’, they will just respond with, ‘Well I’m not doing anything wrong.’ ‘Yes that is true but you’re not doing anything right either, so please just do something.’

Doing nothing can be destructive; it saps you of strength, depletes your energy and drains your appetite. The secret to life is keep moving. Time will keep ticking, the earth will keep spinning and the sun will keep rising. To be in sync you must keep moving.

We have lost our appetite for success today because we are no longer hungry. We don’t have to go kill a live animal or plant a seed and cultivate the soil to eat; all we do is walk to our refrigerator. The inner drive to work to eat has all but vanished. Our drive has been squashed.

But, you can turn it around, with a single thought. As an active mind will promote an active body. Thoughts produce actions, so get thinking, your body will thank you later.

What single thought can you have in this next moment that will lead you to take action in the next moment?