Did you know- that a gentleman suffered a heart attack at The Heart Attack Grill in Vegas last week?

Did you know- this is National Heart Health Month? Just making sure you are keeping up on all of the breaking news.

Did you know- one of the most annoying quotes that people spout off to me is:”Moderation in all things.” 

Did you know- this quote was penned by Aristotle in the context of discussing virtues?

Did you know- this quote has nothing to do with a bacon festival, a 6,000 calorie hamburger or giving yourself an excuse to do whatever you want to do? 

Did you know- this quote does have to do with “temperance”- self control and restraint?

I’m just checking about all of this.  I am starting to think that perhaps

You don’t know…  

WD

A slightly not humorous Blog written by a slightly annoyed Dietitian in Kansas City

I pride myself in my cutting-edgedness.  (And also in my creative use of the English language- Check out becoming nutri-fied.) 

Imagine my excitement when I saw the headlines about Lin Madness.  The national news media had finally found my Blog. 

Yes, my friends, I was the first to introduce the magic in Lin-o-len-ic acid.  This is a wonderful fat that is found in flaxseed and walnuts.  You will find similar fatty acids in sardines, salmon, tuna and mackerel.  These fatty acids are in a general group of fats called Omega-3 fatty acids or more popularly known as “fish oil”. Everyone, and their dog, should have a diet rich in these fats. 

In addition you may want to take fish oil capsules.  (I have heard that Jeremy Lin is crediting his success to his daily intake of fish oil. (Naw..)

Figuring out which ones to take can be a daunting task. Follow these guidelines for best results.

Look on the back of the bottle to find the:

1. Serving size- It may be more than one capsule.
2. Amount of cholesterol- There may be a large amount. 
3. DHA and EPA and the milligrams listed with them.  Add these 2 numbers together.  They should equal approximately 500 mgs.  This is the recommended daily amount for most healthy adults. 
4. Look for the USP symbol.  This means the supplement meets purity standards. 

 Check with your doctor if you have concerns or questions about your fish oil capsules.

The Cinderella story of Jeremy Lin will fade in time but the health benefits of Lin-o-len-ic acid will go on. 

My suggestion to you, if you want to follow your dream like Jeremy has, then follow my Simple Diet so you can be strong and healthy and wealthy and wise. 

(Wow, all of this is one Simple Diet?  YEP!)  

Wishing you a Lin-ified Day! 

WD

www.glennamoe.com

Let me beat them to the punch!  (So there,”Choose My Plate”, I am more cutting-edgier than you!) 

When you see the words “whole grains” on breads, crackers, Count Chocula, Twinkies, etc. it’s a lie, a great big fat lie.  I know you are gravely disappointed to find out that advertisers sometimes stretch the truth. 

Here are the facts: 

Read the ingredient label.  If you see the word “enriched” it means it is not whole grain.  However, if it says, 100% whole grain or 100% whole wheat then it is true.  If it just says “whole grain” it can be made with large amounts of “NAKED CARBS!”  Please read my seriously breaking news Blog on Naked Carbs.  It is life changing. Click here.

And once again I ask each and every one of you to join my for-profit organization:  PETG!  (You can join the People for the Ethical Treatment of Grains by sending your $100 annual membership fee to me.  I promise to use the money wisely to protect our poor Grains.) 

I don’t know about you but I can’t handle much more of this breaking news!

Oh, and if you saw the “naked” commercial during the super bowl send me an email and tell me who was naked.  You might win a prize.  And for sure watch for my next Blog.  I will reveal the naked truth about the naked one.  (And you might even get some good ideas for Valentine’s Day). 

And while you are emailing, you could also  email the national news and let them know that I outed their story early. 

WD

Prior to teeing off each contestant would enjoy a high protein high anti-oxidant smoothie.  (Make mine raspberry, please.)  And of course a weigh in and a waist circumference measurement. 

The first hole:

Everyone tee’s off.  Then, everyone lines up at the tee.  Men at the men’s tee.  Women at the Women’s tee, of course. 

Out in front is the “Tee Leader”, Perky Pauline. (I thought this was what they meant when talking about the “Leader Boards.”) She leads the group in Pilates core strengthening exercises for 5 minutes.  Then, she blows her tournament whistle and everyone dashes, while carrying their own clubs, as fast as they can to the furthest ball.  Everyone takes turns hitting their shot.  Then, Perky Pauline is back leading them in more exercises.  Once again a race to the green.  On the green everyone has to hit their shot from an assigned yoga position.  I think balancing half moon would be a great one. 

And so on. 

Until the 9^th hole.  Refreshments are brought in.  Brat-flavored hummus with chips made from flaxseed hot dog buns. 

The back 9 goes at an even faster pace with increasingly tougher exercises and sprints.   

Finally it is time for the 19^th Hole.   All of these healthy contestants race once again into the club house.  Another weigh in and waist circumference measurement. 

Then a delicious meal is served of fresh pear margaritas, grilled scallops and shrimp on a spinach salad topped with sliced strawberries and feta cheese. YUM!

Imagine my surprise when my husband burst my bubble and told me it was the “Waste” Management Golf Tournament.  I don’t even want to think about what they did between holes.  (I think it had to do with port-a-potties.)

So, anyway, if any of you wealthy readers out there would like to work with me to create the first Waist Management Golf Tourney, just let me know. I’m looking for sponsors.   

WD

A humorous nutrition Blog written by Glenna Moe, Kansas City Dietitian

Did you know, “Sugar is bad for you?”  Can you believe it?  They said it leads to weight gain, diabetes, elevated triglycerides and heart disease.  Could this possibly be true?  I am just so surprised!

But, there is more to the story.  Apparently, there is sugar in juice, pops, coffee drinks and even ketchup.  Like salt, it is everywhere.  And it seems that much of our sugar intake is at breakfast.  Toast, muffins, juice,   sweetened cereals, coffees, etc.  Who knew?

And to top this off, these foods containing sugar often also contain white flour.  AND, white flour also raises blood sugars and triglycerides!  (I can’t take all of this breaking news!) 

Perhaps you should start your day with protein.  Almonds, walnuts, Greek style yogurt, veggie omelets, protein smoothies with berries….

I wonder what the next shocking story will be.  I hope they don’t decide that fried chicken and gravy is bad for you.  That would be a real bummer! 

I am reminded of a very wise comment made by a two year old.  He is the son of a cardiologist friend.  When offered a sugar cookie he adamantly refused because “Sugar makes your teeth fall out.”  Who knew that he is better informed than 90% of my clients. 

Love with Sugar on it,

WD

A humorous nutrition Blog written by Glenna Moe, Kansas City Dietitian

This is the same old news that your Grandmother told you 50 years ago is:  Eat your veggies to stay healthy! 

Today we are going to learn how to treat your veggies to a day at the spa so …BREAKING NEWS…veggies can taste great!

Pick your favorite root vegetable.  (Root root root for the home team.  If they don’t win it’s a shame… for its 1, 2, 3 strikes you’re out at the old health game…)

Root veggies include beets, sweet potatoes, onions, potatoes, carrots, parsnips and others.

Today we will take our Sexy Beet to the Spa. 

Sexy Beet has a day at the Spa

Set the Mood:  Turn the lights down.  Start a CD with ocean sounds.  Light a sandalwood candle.

Start with an entire beet, root and all. 

Gently rub the beet with a soft brush to exfoliate the dead skin cells. Rinse under warm pure mountain stream water. 

Pat dry with a fluffy Turkish towel. 

Mix fresh Italian extra virgin organic olive oil with freshly dried organic herbs deprovence.  Using a mortar and pestle gently press the virgin herbs into the oil while humming a soft Italian melody.

Rub the oil gently into the beet in a circular motion to work the oil deep into the beet’s tissues. 

After the beet is well oiled place in a lightly oiled pan.  Tell him that he is getting ready for the tanning bed.  We don’t want to stress him.  Place the pan into an oven pre-heated to a toasty 350 degrees.  Do not cover.  Leave him naked.  Roast for about 30 minutes or until a fork easily pierces the beet’s freshly oiled skin.  Plug your ears so you don’t hear the tiny blood curdling scream coming from the roasting beet. 

When tender remove from oven. 

Serve whole to your eager guests.  They can slice the beet in half and eat like a baked potato.  The skin is optional. 

Any root vegetable will love this spa experience.  And your guests will love the results. 

(This whole veggie Spa thing is creeping me out.  If it makes you feel less squeamish follow this:  Take a beet, scrub it under some water, dry it off, rub olive oil on it, throw it in the oven at 350 degrees for about ½ hour, take out when tender and eat.) 

Another hint:  add delicious sexy roasted beets to hummus for a terrific treat. 

Sexy Veggie Spa Blog written by Glenna Moe, Kansas City Dietitian    

Blog written by Glenna Moe, Kansas City Dietitian

This means you are 17 days into your New Year’s Resolution.  Raise your hand if you are still keeping your resolution.  (Oh my gosh, put your hand down before someone sees you!) 

Did you start 2012 with the determination that THIS will be the year you will stick to your resolve?  (No I am not going to ask you to raise your hand again.)

Have you already given up?
Wonder Dietitian is here to save the year!  (Notice, I did not say DAY.  I am here to save the entire YEAR.) 

2012 will be the year to start BACKWARDS!

Do you always vow to start something new first thing in the morning? 

Well, this change is going to start at Sunset! 

Did you know the day begins at sunset?  Historically Judeo-Christian days start at sunset.  Sabbath begins at sunset.  I find great wisdom in this.

The foods eaten after sunset and the activities done after sunset determine how you will begin your next morning. 

Jumpstart toward making healthy choices today by changing the things you do after sunset. 

1.  Eat nothing after sunset today.  (Yes, I know the sun sets early, sheesh!) 

2.  Drink only water, skim milk or a relaxing herbal tea after sunset.   

3.  Spend at least 15 minutes on calming stretching exercises.  There are many good Yoga DVD’s for evening or just turn off the TV, get on the floor and gently stretch every muscle that you can find. 

Follow these 3 simple steps and you will sleep better and lose weight with very little effort. 

We will be talking more about this new “Sunset Wellness Diet.” 

Three more things:

1.  Yes, I really was disqualified from the contest.

2.  No, I have not been hired by Paula Dean to manage her diabetes, but “Hey, Paula Dean, if ya’ll are reading this, just give me a call, ya’ll!”

3.  Dear USDA, here are my contest winners:  Please send  prizes to:  Bob E. and Tracey M. 

Bob and Tracey, my guess is you will both be disqualified!   

WD

Have you been wondering where Wonder Dietitian went? 

Submit your guess to win the “Where Did Wonder Dietitian Go? “Contest.

Choose one of the following:

1. I have been in treatment for severe depression after the USDA disqualified me from their dumb old contest.  Can you believe it?  To those of you who voted faithfully I want you to know that I really appreciate your help.  And if you want to write a hate letter to them, that’s OK by me. 
2. I have been at a “fat camp” to help me to lose all of the weight I put on in December.  You can also guess how many pounds I gained.  But, in return I get to watch you as you weigh on my scales. I promise I might not put it on my website. 
3. I have been hired by Paula Dean to modify all of her recipes to make them heart healthy and to help control her newly diagnosed diabetes.  It is a good thing I negotiated my charge per recipe and not per hour.  Modifying her recipes was a no brainer- I just threw all of them away along with her butter,  fry pan and fryers.  You may see Wonder Dietitian flying across her website in the days to come.  Watch for flying sweet potatoes and beets! 

(Speaking of sweet potatoes and beets- in the last week I have served roasted beets and roasted sweet potatoes.  One of my sons–in-law having tasted a roasted beet for the first time asked his wife if she would make them for him again.  My other son-in-law would not even taste the roasted sweet potato.  Guess which one got the extra credit points.  OK, now guess which one got the most nutrients?  My advice to you is: Do not have a mother-in-law who is a dietitian.  It can be a real drag.) 

4.    I have been busy rocking my most handsome and smartest in the whole world grandson (who WILL eat roasted sweet potatoes) and also trying to fatten up my teensy daughter. 

Make your choice and win!

(Prizes will be awarded by the USDA Choose My Plate.gov committee.)

I have eaten more calories in the last week than I normally eat in a month.  How about you? 

Today’s Lesson:

Cattle typically wander around the field munching on whatever they can find all day long.  In the winter the farmer sets out hay to eat when there isn’t much else.  A few weeks before it is time for the poor cows to meet their maker they are herded into a feed lot.  In the feed lot they are fed excess amounts of food to fatten them up for slaughter.  Kind of a gross thought.  But, it is the way of the bovine.  (Kind of like being a Tom turkey)

So, here is my question for you: 

Just exactly what are you fattening yourself up for?  Winter hibernation?  If so, I need to tell you that bears do not eat all winter long.  They have a reason to fatten themselves up for the winter. 

You, my friend, do not!

Put down that chocolate covered peanut butter ball! 

When I was a little girl my Mom would sternly look at me and say “Behave!” (I know it is hard for you to believe that Wonder Dietitian wasn’t a perfect child.)

Go and sternly look at yourself in the mirror and say “Behave!”

A side note: Have you ever wondered why gyms have mirrors and restaurants do not?  When you look at yourself in the mirror while you are working out, it makes you want to work out harder.  If you were to watch yourself eat, it would make you want to stop. (Particularly if you are one of those who insist on chewing with your mouth open. Yuck!) So, my suggestion to you is, if you want to stop overeating get a job in a fun house that has all of those crazy mirrors all over the place.

So in this season of EXCESS, my wish for you this Christmas is that your tree would be decorated like mine! (Thanks Nikki!)

And I sincerely wish you a peace filled Christ-mass. 

With Love, WD

Merry Excessmas from Kansas City Dietitian Glenna Moe