gnome bandits

Murphy's Luck

2009-08-28T21:18:00.002+01:00

Well, truly Murphy's law is one of luck now. My wee friend Murphy, who came to visit only briefly on his short trek around the world is apparently going to feature in his own storybook.

I'm not jealous at all. Really. Really really.

At least he still has that bit of clover I gave to him.

Naked Gnomes

2009-04-27T12:12:00.004+01:00

A West Midlands grandmother has been told to cover up three of her garden gnomes - because they're naked. The cheeky statues, one of a man and two of busty women, stood outside Sandra Smith's door for 15 years. But now Smith, 64, has had to drape little T-shirts over the ornaments after a neighbour complained they were upsetting her children. More ...

I don't know what I would do if I wasn't allowed from time to time to stroll the garden au naturelle. It's amazing to me that a neighbor with children would have a complaint about dear Sandra Smith's gnomes. Now those children aren't going to have too much fun in the sprinkler this Summer.

All kitted out

2009-02-11T19:48:00.004Z

You all know I'm a sucker for the crafty side of gnome culture. If you're looking for something to do on a snowy evening, you may want to check out this gnome crochet kit from wee Amy Gaines.

Doesn't look like anyone I know personally, but you never can tell.

Gnome respect at all

2009-01-27T19:31:00.004Z

It's a sad state of affairs when lovely human folk like Colleen Cheak are terrorized by bandits. I assume one of the watch gnomes must have scared off the robbers before they could make away with more ornaments, but I do hope everyone makes it back safely.

What can we do to protect ourselves?

Goin' on a gnome hunt

2009-01-16T16:42:00.005Z

I'd love to drop by the Morton Arboretum's Children's Garden and take part in their wee gnome hunt. Sounds like a lot of fun.

Find all the gnomes hiding in the Children's Garden in the drop-in activity "Going on a Gnome Hunt." Most of the real animals will be hibernating for winter, but we have make-believe ones for a fun sort of "hunt."

A cousin of mine, Canton, used to help out with the trimming in the maze garden. He always had a tremendous sense of direction.

All That Gnome

2009-01-14T11:04:00.002Z

I just loved snowy Chicago, particularly some of the sights around Millennium Park. I was told to get a hot dog at Wiener & Still Champion, but wasn't disappointed by the wee dogs & burgers at Max's.

Here we go!

2009-01-10T21:21:00.002Z

I understand it's common for humanfolk to swear their allegiance to certain sporting teams, particularly in the winter months when competition reaches a fever pitch. I had so much fun "tailgaiting" for the first time in Pittsburgh. I'm officially a member of the Steelers Nation now, and will be watching the wee game this weekend. Go Steelers!

Half-gnome

2008-11-19T18:16:00.003Z

If the wee 10 Gnomes isn't quite up to the speed of your gaming experience, I recently found out there is a gnome mode in Half-Life 2: Episode 2, where you can carry a wee gnome and deliver him to a rocket.

I've never played Half Life 2 myself, but any game with a gnome mode gets my vote. I'll have to put it on my wish list this Christmas, along with a gnome-sized console.

The wee folks over at Concerned created these great gnome scenes.

One day you're in ...

2008-11-08T06:54:00.001Z

... and the next day you're out. At least that's what Heidi Gnome used to say on Project Tunic. I've been around for over a hundred years, so I'm still not entirely sure what the wee Independent article means by claiming we're back.

I had no idea that some gnomekind were desperate enough to turn to Tesco to find good homes!

Legoless

2008-11-05T15:57:00.004Z

I just don't understand the cruel contraptions that humanfolk come up with to hurt helpful gnomes. A distant cousin of mine, Legolas, fell for the watering can baited trap and only has one hand to show for it.

I probably shouldn't even be providing a link over to the wee sadistic folks over at Perpetual Kid. Perhaps if you'd like to issue them a wee complaint we can work together to prevent more harm to gnomekind.

Tax and spend gnomes

2008-10-22T20:47:00.000+01:00

Photo via Katywhumpus

I've never met a tax and spend gnome, and I'm not sure I ever want to ... though I did like this wee, crafty blog Katywhumpus and the story about Tax & Spend. I couldn't help but admire that stone wall ...

New friends

2008-10-21T00:24:00.003+01:00

I know it's been quite some time since I posted, but I have been traveling quite a bit and don't have a wee laptop. There are a few pics from the trip through Copenhagen which I'll get up soon.

Søren and I got along like a house on fire, but I could barely make out a word he said in Danish. The nicest moments were standing across the street from Tivoli in the square watching the lights, the wee street performers, and the strange garbage statues in the shapes of crumpled tin cans and cigarette butts. Why?

Garden gnome saviour?!

2008-09-30T14:56:00.004+01:00

I'm not so certain the entire gnome race needs a make-over from this man, Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen. I certainly like to vary the colours of my tunic from time to time, but heaven forbid I'd need to get down to heavy garden work in any outfit like that.

I do have a wee pair of pick axe cuff-links that I wear each year for a trip back to the birthday tree or the odd special occasion.

Potential arrest over garden gnome?

2008-09-22T17:57:00.004+01:00

Poor Gordon. I assume there is a wee bit more to this story than just the placement of a garden gnome, though it would appear that Mr. MacKillop is receiving a lot of support from the public. Police may have better things to do than arrest civilians for placing garden gnomes on their property.

I wish I had a solar powered lamp.

Now, that's an axe

2008-09-15T17:00:00.000+01:00

If only my wee hands could hold it, I could be a lot more productive with an axe of this size.

Wall building

2008-09-13T17:02:00.003+01:00

I did my best helping to lift stones into the wall. Though, I am much better suited for scraping the pea shingle back into place around the base.

Wee came from outer space

2008-09-02T10:03:00.000+01:00

I've never heard of Jessica Ditto or Lawn Gnomes from Outer Space, so it's hard to tell if this is another film in the gnomexploitation genre or not. I couldn't find any other details and the Gnome Acticing Guild (GAG) hasn't been contacted for any talent as of yet. It's disappointing when gnome roles go to humans and CGI has made a large dent in the use of actual gnome actors on film sets.

I did hear that James McAvoy is the confirmed lead in Gnomeo and Juliet, and that Guillermo Del Toro, who directed Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy is taking on The Hobbit. I just love a wee film.

Under the sea

2008-08-31T09:55:00.003+01:00

I'm not quite sure what to make of Gordon Mackie's scuba gnoming venture. Is this some type of water boarding for gnomekind, or are my wee friends enjoying a new life under the sea? I didn't hear any calypso music in the video but all the gnomes appear to have smiles on their faces. Water plants are not my specialty and I've never been very good at holding my breath.

Gnome pendant

2008-08-18T12:09:00.003+01:00

Was passing the wet weather by browsing Etsy for a few wee gifts for friends and came across this pendant. Not sure it was something I would wear, but there may be someone out there that would fancy it.

I've come across all sorts of gnome related prezzies ... who knew?

Murphy's Law Overturned

2008-08-13T09:45:00.002+01:00

Murphy's Law isn't the same anymore after Murphy from Gloucester got to take a wee trip around the world for seven months. I'd rather travel with my host family than some stranger, but for those lucky gnomes that get a professional vs. a trouble-maker, the spoils can be rich.

I prefer the BBC coverage, but they didn't allow me to embed the video.

More blooms

2008-07-31T08:16:00.001+01:00

I could take pictures every day in the garden. These paniculata might not equal the splendour of what you might find at Hydrangea World, but they certainly look nice potted to the side of the front door of my master's house.

Nasturtium

2008-07-29T00:11:00.003+01:00

The weather has finally turned seasonably warm for the first time in weeks. Even though I can get a wee bit sweaty under my tunic, the flowers are loving the bright sunshine and I'm happy to report blooms on the nasturtium I planted along the stone wall at the back of the garden.

Gator and the Garden Gnome

2008-07-26T08:33:00.000+01:00

I'm certainly a sucker for animations featuring garden gnomes, and James Burks created this wee animation about a pet alligator and his surrogate teddy gnome. I won't spoil the ending, but it did turn my stomach. Young garden gnomes beware ...

Brown Eyed Gnome

2008-07-24T09:28:00.000+01:00

I've had a wee listen now and then to Van Morrison's music, but had no idea he was into garden gnomes. Apparently during a performance in Philadelphia he mumbled something about a gnome outlet. Go Van!

During "Ancient Highway," part of a medley that also included "In the Afternoon" and "Raincheck," he muttered something about a store on the side of the road "that sells garden gnomes." Other than that, and stopping to ask if anyone had heard his classic 1968 album Astral Weeks before a stirring "Madame George," he kept his inscrutable thoughts to himself and the music moving forward.

Ahead of the carve

2008-07-22T09:06:00.000+01:00

I just love Sarah Caterisano's wee illustrations, but I was really impressed by the likeness she achieved in this gnome carving. This easily could be my elder cousin Weinhold. It's all a bit uncanny.

There are lots of links to other awfully talented humanfolk to follow as well.