going...and almost gone

on with life

2008-12-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been several months since I last posted here. I've been having some trouble keeping this site up. Issues with Blogger.

I was diagnosed as being Bipolar in May and have been getting regulated on Limotrigene. I'm pretty content with 100mg daily.

It is a definite blessing not to be fighting depression on a daily basis.

-joe

headin home

2008-05-01T16:21:00.001-07:00

Today I'm heading back to my home in Indiana. Thanks for all the prayer and encouragement while I've been out here. I should be back on Sunday afternoon sometime.

-joe

the naming of the blog

2008-04-29T17:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know if anyone has wondered where i came up with my web address: goingandalmostgone.blogspot.com but I'm going to tell you why I chose that address anyway.

It comes from a little known Caedmon's song that (to my knowledge) is not on any of their albums but was made explicitly for "The Awakening Compilation." Derek Webb wrote it and these are the lines from the chorus:

(I will run from you) But you'll have to catch me
(You can't run like me) You'll never catch me this time
(What a shame) And its all such a shame
And I don't miss you (But I miss you)
Leave me alone (Come for me)
Cuz I'm almost gone (But I'm still here)
I'm almost gone

This was the crazy pull on my heart as I thought of leaving and then did leave for a time. D. Webb, in his amazing giftedness, expresses my thoughts in song and left me with no choice as to the name of this site.

So, far all those out there who are going or almost gone...this site's for you.

-joe

two poems

2008-04-24T20:47:00.000-07:00

leaving

the weight of yesterday is here
consuming ev'ry thought. i hear
that confession yields healing but
i can't (won't) believe it. so, taught
by my unruly heart to fear
tomorrow's guilt, i think of near
nothing except to leave, to flee.
knowing that tomorrow will bring
relief - yet knowing not one thing
will have changed except my bed site;
that relief is not found in flight.

returning

Weather's rough. I'll hold up here today.
Can't go on--but, still, can't stay
(to linger before going on would
be a thing without end.) Should
I stay, then, and risk the going--or
go, and risk making home's door?

I'm going home next week. I fear the people but I dread not going even more.

-joe

on the evil tidings

2008-04-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

This poem was the first that I turned to when I started reading Frost. The title caught my eye and I flipped to it. The opening three stanzas were immediately true to me. I'd done that. I'd taken that road instead of the one to the throne.

Now, that bearer stayed where he stopped. It is my hope to return to my home and to the throne. It is a long road. Miles have been traversed and will need to be redone. I'll have to repair so many relationships that my head spins just thinking about it.

But, God's grace has pulled me through. Despite the temptation to abandon the faith and my family at such a time, God has held me. He truly is a good God.

May the grace of Jesus Christ hold us all.

-joe

bearer of evil tidings

2008-04-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

Now, don't freak out. I haven't abandoned my faith for a new one...and I haven't met any girls. But this poem hit my heart two days after I got here.

The bearer of evil tidings
When he was halfway there,
Remembered that evil tidings
Were a dangerous thing to bear.

So when he came to the parting
where one road led to the throne
And one went off to the mountains
And into the wild unknown,

He took the one to the mountains.
He ran through the Vale of Cashmere,
He ran through the rhododendrons
Till he came to the land of Pamir.

And there in a precipice valley
A girl of his age he met
Took him home to her bower,
Or he might be running yet.

she taught him her tribe's religion:
How ages and ages since
A princess en route from China
To marry a Persian prince

Had been found with child: and her army
Had come to a troubled halt.
And though a god was the father
And nobody else at fault,

It had seemed discreet to remain there
And neither go on nor back.
So they stayed and declared a village
There in the land of Yak.

And the child that came of the princess
Established a royal line,
And his mandates were given heed to
Because he was born divine.

And that was why there were people
On one Himalayan shelf;
And the bearer of evil tidings
Decided to stay there himself.

At least he had this in common
With the race he chose to adopt:
They had both of them had their reasons
Fro stopping where they had stopped.

As for his evil tidings,
Belshazzar's overthrow,
Why hurry to tell Belshazzar
What soon enough he would know?

-robert frost

Tomorrow I'll post a little more on why this poem touches me.

-joe

confessing sin

2008-04-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

James 5:16 has taken on a new meaning. I feel it deep, deep down in my heart as I'm being healed by confessing things.

And the comfort to start doing it came from Psalm 30
"For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime."

Blessed be the God who forgives and heals and raises up men and women to do the same.

-joe

how did david do it?

2008-04-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

How did David go from despair to praise in so few lines?

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
   and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
   light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
Lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him,"
   lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
   my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
   because he has dealt bountifully with me.

-joe

truth

2008-04-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

Why abandon a belief merely because it ceases to be true? Cling to it long enough, and it will turn true again, for so it goes. Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.

Robert Frost

I have yet to abandon anything. But, for now...it seems that the truth of God's grace has been made invisible to me. I know it better than I know my own heart and yet, my own heart rejects it. Oh, that God's grace would turn true again in my heart.

-joe