True compassion doesn’t leave you feeling warm and fuzzy. True compassion breaks your heart and leaves you feeling helpless. And the reason for this is because true compassion requires you to step outside of yourself.

This week, we return to Wrecked Sessions (a limited-time podcast I’m doing to continue conversation around my book, Wrecked). In this episode, we interview my friend and colleague Talia Bunting and talk about how messy helping others can be.

Listen to the podcast

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About our guest

Talia and I worked together for a number of years at Adventures in Missions, but we originally met on a mission trip to Mexico many years ago. Together on that trip, we experienced a “wrecked” moment when we met a homeless woman on the streets of Palenque, Mexico.

This woman was clearly mentally disabled — she kept talking about her mustache and couldn’t remember her name. We tried to offer her water and bread, but she wouldn’t take any of it. We prayed for it and walked away. And as we did, our hearts broke.

Only a few steps away from the Nameless Woman, Talia broke down and started crying, saying, “I feel so helpless!”

In this episode, we explore with our guest the pain we all feel when we have to walk away from a need we aren’t able to meet — and how sometimes, that’s just the beginning of the story.

Show highlights

In this podcast, we talk about:

• Why doing good often feels bad
• The stupidity of the cliche, “plant a seed”
• When we feel helpless to do anything for someone else (and what to do about it)
• The messiness of ministry and how sometimes our only choice is to walk away from needs
• How our guest learned more about compassion by working in a bar than she ever did in the mission field

Get involved

If you liked this podcast, here are some other ways to get involved:

• Listen to last week’s session.
• Leave a review on iTunes.
• Buy the book on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
• Grab the free action guide and get a group to go through the workbook together.
• Join me in Raleigh in August for this event (limited seats available!).
• Get a free copy of the Wrecked Manifesto (plus some other goodies) when you join my exclusive newsletter list.

Have you ever experience true compassion? Have you ever felt helpless to meet someone else’s needs? Share your story in the comments.

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The word “vocation” comes from the Latin vocare, which means “calling.” It suggests some grand purpose in your life. Occupation has the same root as “occupy” and that’s just what it does — occupies your time and brings home a paycheck.

A few years ago, I was struggling with this tension between passion and provision.

I sensed my heart was directing me to live with reckless abandon in pursuit of my dreams, while my mind was telling me to be more responsible and stable in preparation for marriage.

Worried about the crossroads in life I was facing, I was anxious about “selling out” and living a mediocre existence. In a panic, I called my mentor.

I can’t stress enough how important it is for young people to have mentors in their lives that they trust to give candid feedback. I’m not just talking about a parent, professor, or pastor, but someone who speaks into your life even when you don’t ask. This takes a high degree of trust and grace to build, but once you have the relationship, it’s invaluable.

So I went to my mentor and told him my dilemma.

Candidly, he responded, “Join the crowd.”

“What?!” I was incredulous.

“Actually,” he said. “I think you’re in a good place — struggling with what you could do and what you should do. It says a lot about your character, that you’re concerned about fulfilling your life’s calling and providing for your family. I feel bad for those don’t struggle with the two.”

I ruminated on that for awhile, and it really struck me as profound. Join the crowd.

That phrase changed the way I thought of what I had to do and what I loved doing. I had always believed that if those two didn’t completely synchronize with one another that something was seriously wrong in my life.

But maybe that’s just how real life is — messy.

Maybe there is nothing wrong with struggling with the tension between occupation and vocation. Maybe the real tragedy is in not struggling at all — in flaking out on your responsibilities for the sake of your “calling” or compromising your dream for the sake of security.

Maybe those of us who don’t lose sleep over the idea of calling and living responsibly are indeed missing out.

Maybe you should join the crowd.

What would you do… if you could do anything? Share in the comments.

But what happens when the adventure is over — when the vacation ends, when they hand you your diploma, when you finally decide to plant some roots — and the struggle of real life begins?

That is when we learn what we’re made of. And that is what my friend Matt Snyder learned after 11 months of touring the world and had to get an ordinary, boring job that taught him some unexpected lessons.

This week on the Wrecked Sessions, we hear from a world traveler who learned that sometimes the point of our restlessness is to learn how to stay put.

Listen to the podcast

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About our guest

I met Matt at a missionary training camp when I worked for Adventures in Missions. We were both writers and formed a friendship around that common bond.

Shortly after we met, Matt left on a year-long trek around the world called The World Race. During his trip, he blogged quite a bit and caught my attention as someone who knew how to tell a story.

When he returned from his trip, I hired Matt as a copywriter to be a part of the marketing team that I led at the time. But it didn’t take long for him to be home before he started feeling restless again.

After several heated discussions about responsibility and work, I decided to issue a challenge to Matt. One that I knew he needed (but didn’t want) to hear.

Get involved

If you liked this podcast, here are some other ways to get involved:

• Listen to last week’s session.
• Leave a review on iTunes.
• Buy the book on Amazon or Barnes and Noble (either for you or a friend)
• Download the totally free Wrecked Action Guide; get a group to go through the workbook together!
• Join me in Raleigh in August for this cool event sponsored by Help One Now.
• Get a free copy of the Wrecked Manifesto (plus some other goodies) when you join my exclusive newsletter list.

Have you ever had a tough conversation with someone that you needed to have? Share in the comments.

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And most people are okay with that. Because blogging is hard, real hard. And they’d rather not get into all that hustle and hard work. Which is fine (I don’t blame ‘em).

But blogging can also be extremely rewarding. And some people who aren’t doing it need to be doing it. They need to share their words with the world; they need to be picking themselves and publishing their words now.

So let’s say you’re one of those people. One who’s been saying you’d like to start a blog. And you actually mean it. And let’s say you have a message to share with the world.

What’s holding you back?

There are three common excuses I most often hear from people who don’t blog (but would like to):

• “I don’t understand the technology.”
• “I don’t have the time.”
• “I’m afraid to start.”

All are valid excuses, but the first two are usually just masking the third. Fear. That’s what’s holding you back. Plain and simple.

Sure, there may be technical aspects that get in the way of you beginning, but if you really wanted to figure it out, couldn’t you? Of course you could.

The truth is it’s easier to let an excuse prevent you from sharing your work than it is to find a way to put it out there.

The most important reason to blog

The reality, though, is that this isn’t just about you and your comfort zone. If you have a message in you that you needs to come out, we need those words.

Because if you don’t say it, maybe no one will. [Tweet that]

That’s why we blog, why we write and publish — even when we don’t feel like it. It’s why we share our art and put it on display for all to see. We hope to reach someone.

Right?

So maybe this choice to write isn’t entirely up to you. Maybe you need to consider the cost of depriving the world of your words. Maybe it’s time to start blogging.

How to begin

Really, it’s not that hard. All you need to start blogging are three characteristics:

• The ability to learn new things.
• The willingness to try and fail (as many times as it takes).
• Courage to write and share your words with the world.

When you boil it down, those aren’t really characteristics. They’re choices. So what are you going to decide?

Decide to blog, or to not. But please, stop saying you’d like to some day, if only you have the time. That excuse is getting old. What you really need isn’t a roadmap; you need to decide.

Once you do that, it’s pretty simple:

1. Get a host. I recommend BlueHost (that’s an affiliate link which means if you use it, I get a commission, but remember I don’t recommend anything I don’t use myself and love).
2. Buy a domain (you can do this through your hosting company, which is easiest).
3. Install WordPress (Bluehost does this automatically for you with one click).
4. Start writing! (This may be the hardest part.)

No more excuses

I don’t think everyone should blog. It takes a lot of time and effort, and for some it may not be worth the hassle. But if you’re one of those people who says, “Some day…” I hope I just left you without any more excuses.

Because you don’t have any. The answers are out there, waiting for you. You just have to be willing to look.

(Btw, Below is an eight-minute walk-through to get you set up with your very own self-hosted blog.)

Free resource: If you’re still feeling held back, I’ve got something for you. Here’s A Step-by-Step Guide to Launching Your Own Blog. You’re welcome.

Now, go do something. We’re waiting for your words. Oh, and if you already have a blog, tell me about it below.

So what’s holding you back from sharing your words with the world (regardless of whether or not you have a blog)? Share in the comments.

At least, that’s what Lynne Kurdziel discovered when her life began to change.

This week, we return to the Wrecked Sessions to hear one woman’s experience of how she started finding fulfillment through serving others.

Listen to the podcast

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About our guest

Lynne Kurdziel

While writing my book, Wrecked, I reached out to Lynne Kurdziel, wanting to find someone who hadn’t necessarily gone though a dramatic experience of life change in another culture but was still, nonetheless, changed by discomfort and compassion.

Lynne’s story is a great example of what it costs to find your purpose. It can sometimes be painful, hard, and confusing, but ultimately these experiences are designed to teach us that life is not only about us.

In this podcast episode, you’ll hear how my guest decided to use her business skills to creatively help those in need through her company Luminate Marketing.

I hope her story challenges you to consider how you could use your own professional skills to live a larger story.

Memorable quotes

• “Surely I’m meant for more than making money.” [Tweet]
• “It’s about creating something beautiful and something meaningful… that empowers people who are already doing something great.” [Tweet]
• “There are millions of people who are living lives without color.” [Tweet]

Get involved

If you liked this podcast, here are some other ways to get involved:

• Listen to the previous session.
• Leave a review on iTunes.
• Buy the book on Amazon or Barnes and Noble (audiobook also available). If you’ve already read it, consider giving it to a friend!
• Download the Wrecked Action Guide and get a group to go through it together.
• Come see me speak at the Luminous Project this week (if you’re in the Nashville area or can get here). To see where I’m speaking next, visit my speaking page.
• Get a free copy of the Wrecked Manifesto (plus some other goodies) when you join my exclusive newsletter list.

How have you used your skills or talents to live a story that is bigger than you? Share in the comments.

I’ve written 14 books to date. But my most recent book was a brand-new venture for me. Honestly, it felt a little risky.

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This new book isn’t fiction. Not exactly. Neither is it non-fiction. In fact, it’s a hybrid of the two, combining fictional elements with non-fiction teaching.

And to be honest: this kind of writing was a first for me.

Where fiction meets nonfiction

Unlike fiction, my new book stays very close to the historical and sociological setting of the day in which it takes place. In addition, it includes a nonfiction part where practical principles for living are drawn from the story.

In many respects, this was a difficult book to write. But during the writing process, I found four ingredients that helped me finish the project. And I’d like to pass them on to you.

Whether you write fiction or nonfiction (or you’re a “switch hitter” and write both), I think you’ll find these ingredients and their lessons to be beneficial in your own writing journey.

Get help from a seasoned writer

This is essential. Because fiction is not my forte, I consulted with two seasoned fiction writers for help. One a male, the other female.

• Melissa Norris is an excellent fiction writer with a vivid imagination. She gave me some great tips and on how to capture the scenery throughout the narrative.
• Eric Wilson, the New York Times Bestselling author of Fireproof, Facing the Giants, and October Baby has been writing fiction since he was in diapers. Eric helped me learn how to think like a fiction author. He gave me many superb suggestions that I never would have come up with on my own.

Without the help of experts, I wouldn’t have grown as I did through this project and been confident enough to publish the book.

Ask a scholar

What I don’t like about typical Christian fiction (the genre in which I was writing) is there’s so much added to it that it often butchers history and confuses the original text with too much imagination.

In writing biblical narrative, I tried to stay true to the text and remain faithful to history. But I couldn’t do that on my own (I’m not a scholar).

For that reason, I asked two scholars and historians to read the book and give me their critical feedback. They were Craig Keener and Joel B. Green, and their feedback was tremendously helpful. They took my book from a good story to an accurate account of history.

Apply what you’ve learned and share

What makes good fiction is showing, not telling. You show the reader what’s going on instead of telling them. Hemingway was a master at this.

For example, instead of saying, “Joe was tall,” you would say something like, “Joe had to duck to get through the door.” Simple, right? Not exactly.

I’ll be the first to admit that I find this type of writing incredibly difficult. I suspect that it comes natural to great fiction writers, but maybe they struggle with it, too.

Despite the difficulty, though, I did a lot of this in my book — only because I had a little help from my friends — early readers who were kind enough to read the book and tell me where the storytelling was working (and where it wasn’t).

Seek the right endorsements

If you’re moving into a new genre, you need to establish yourself as a credible voice in it. One great way to do this is to ask authors who are already authorities in that genre. They can help you establish trust and earn permission to speak to a new audience.

Mary DeMuth, Eric Wilson, and Melissa Norris are just some of the fiction writers who wrote wonderful recommendations for my book. And I was incredibly grateful for their help.

Endorsements are a great way to get in front of new readers and establish yourself as a new voice in a new genre. In total, 47 people endorsed my new book (you can see what they said here), which was great. Others’ belief in me and this project spurred me, giving me faith that this was a story the world needed to hear.

I’m sure more ingredients can be added, but these are the top four that I discovered during this project.

Note: If you buy Frank’s new book before May 7, you’ll be eligible for 25 free gifts from 15 different authors (including me). All you have to do is grab a copy of God’s Favorite Place (Amazon affiliate link) this week and email your receipt to godsfavoriteplace@gmail.com, saying where you bought it.

Have you ever jumped genres? What other tips would you add to the list? Share in the comments.

Modern society seems to favor mass production from its citizens. We dress alike, behave similarly, and speak with a common vernacular. Thanks to the gifts of the digital age, anyone today can become an “expert.” But this leaves me wondering where the master craftsmen are today.

Where are the unusual, custom-built leaders and artists who seek to rise above the fray rather than run with the pack?

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Asking an expert about experts

I decided to ask New York Times bestselling author Daniel Pink that very question. A former speechwriter to then Vice President Al Gore, he has studied social trends and the science of success in the twenty-first century.

His books include Drive and A Whole New Mind. If anyone could answer my question on mastery, I figured Daniel Pink could.

KC: In today’s 24/7 media culture, “experts” are a dime a dozen. In contrast, a true master craftsman remains rare and valuable. How do we master our strengths to maximize our impact?

DP: It’s a mix of factors. First, one of the most important things in achieving mastery is to recognize how you think about it in the first place. That is, when you look at your own capabilities, do you see them as fixed, unchangeable, and simply part of your DNA, like eye color? Or do you look at them as actually malleable, things you can improve, you can get better at?

Too many of us take that first view — that being good at some- thing depends on whether you have it or you don’t. The problem with that belief, as Carol Dweck and others have taught us, is that’s incorrect. It’s not how mastery works.

Indeed, if you start with that belief—that you’re either good at something or you’re not — you won’t achieve mastery. Period. But if you think you are capable of getting better at something, then you have a shot.

Second, along with thinking about mastery in the right way, the next component is what you actually do — because true mastery is really, really hard. I think that’s one reason why few people achieve it. It requires enormous amounts of work and persistence. It requires time. It requires grit. It requires effort. It requires setbacks.

And many of us aren’t willing to accept that deal. We want to achieve mastery without pain. And that’s not possible.

Third, you also have to wrap your mind around this unhappy fact: you can never actually achieve mastery. You may remember the word “asymptote” from algebra.

Imagine a curved line that can come close to reach a horizontal line but never actually touches it. That untouchable horizontal line is the asymptote. You can get closer and closer and closer to it, but you can never reach it. That’s the nature of mastery.

I do not care how good you are at something, how blessed you are with the opportunity to improve, no one can ever achieve full mastery. Picasso never achieved full mastery. Marian Anderson never achieved full mastery. Kobe Bryant has never achieved full mastery. Mastery is an asymptote, and that makes it simultaneously frustrating and alluring.

So I think the way we can get better at achieving mastery is just to get real about what it takes. And what it takes is thinking about your ability as something you can change.

It requires a lot of pain, effort, and hard work, and it brings a certain amount of frustration in realizing that you can never actually achieve it fully.

From giftedness to mastery

Pink’s words transcend insight and enter the realm of encouragement. He reminds us that gifts are malleable and fluid.

Yes, we’re all born with certain gifts. But those gifts can grow, mature, and develop. Great men and women in any field recognize their natural gifts but then hone those gifts over time.

If we believe that our level of mastery is only a function of our innate makeup, we will never reach our fullest potential. Professional athletes were born with great talent, but without developing that talent, they would have remained average amateurs.

You can always get better. A master carpenter or professional baseball player will always tell you that no matter one’s level of success, he can always build a better product or play a better game.

If you could resurrect Leonardo da Vinci or Vincent van Gogh and ask him what his perfect work of art was, I doubt he would be able to name a single painting or sculpture. Perfection is impossible.

The cost of excellence

We must also accept that the process of development is painstaking. Thanks to films, we often get the impression that a great businessman or soldier or artist becomes who he is in an hour and a half rather than through months and years of practice.

Larry Bird spent hours shooting three-pointers before and after practice. Tiger Woods hit thousands of golf balls as he refined his swing. Because humans’ default mode is complacency, many fail to commit to developing their natural gifts.

People fail to achieve mastery not because they aren’t talented, but because they aren’t disciplined. [Tweet that]

You have within you a few strengths that, if honed, will empower you to impact your world. The potential exists. You need only to locate those gifts, work hard at developing them, and never stop pushing higher and farther.

Even if others recognize that you are very good at what you do, never forget that you can always get better. The things that spring from your hands will not be perfect, but, like the works of master craftsmen, they’ll stand the test of time.

What do you think? Can anyone achieve mastery? What would it take in your field or industry? Share in the comments.

Disclosure: Some of the above links are affiliate links, which means if you buy any of the above books, I get a small commission off those sales.

“I’d love to quit my job, but what would I do? I have so many passions.”

“I’ve always wanted to live on the beach, but I can’t decide exactly where.”

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Thirty years from now, you will not remember what cereal you chose at the grocery store. You won’t recall whether you saw this movie or that one. What will matter is that you acted, that you made a contribution. That you decided to do something.

Fact is, most decisions aren’t life-changers. The universe doesn’t care what you have for breakfast, but chances are you will eat something.

And certainly, you’d be better off eating eggs than Pop Tarts, so it’s not to say that there aren’t such things as good decisions. It’s just that most of the time, you just need to decide. To do something. To act.

This is the very thing that most people are afraid of: making a choice. They waste time writing up plans and setting goals that never get actualized.

What’s better than planning

I’m not anti-planning; I just know that for me (and plenty of people I talk to), a lot of that stuff is just stalling. Hiding. Another way to stay stuck.

So what’s the solution? What’s the answer to this paralysis we sometimes feel? Just start.

Life is a journey, not a business plan. Quit trying to control things. Let go and live the story. [Tweet that]

What I’m trying to say is this: Where you’re going doesn’t matter as much as you think it does. Just go. More often than not, you just need to move in a direction, any direction.

As you build momentum, you can learn to steer.

Pick something

Your job is to take chances, not have all the answers. If this resonates with you — if it challenges the very fibers of your being — try any (or all) of the following today:

• Go for a walk.
• Take a run.
• Sit outside without your smartphone or laptop.
• Climb a tree.
• Do something dangerous.
• Fall down.
• Scrape your knee.
• Tell someone you love them.
• Laugh even if you don’t feel like it.
• Write the first paragraph of that book.
• Deliver a speech to a stranger.
• Fill out that application.
• Ask that girl/guy out.

Sure, some of these things may seem silly, but the more you do them, the more alive you’ll feel. And that’s the secret of a fulfilled life.

It’s not about the destination, it’s about the direction.

If you don’t know what to do with your life — what book to write, what song to sing, what job to choose, which person you should ask out — try picking something. It’s not a fail-proof solution, but it ain’t a bad place to start.

Because the truth is once you start moving, you can always change direction.

How have you seen this to be true in your own life? Share in the comments.

Once upon a time, a wise man met with a king. The king challenged the man with a riddle. He said, “In my hands is a small bird. Is it alive or dead?” The wise man paused and looked down.

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The wise man thought to himself, “If I say it is alive, he will close his hand and crush it. If I say it is dead, he will open his hand and let it fly away.”

The wise man turned his head up and said in a soft yet commanding voice, “It’s all in your hands.”

The same is true for us. Our lives are in our hands. It is not always easy. We face struggle, challenges, and difficulties. But we can derive blessings from them, if we are intentional. We can, to use the phrase of the late Debbie Friedman, “find the courage to make our lives a blessing.”

To make our lives a blessing, we need to make two critical choices: count our blessings and speak our blessings.

Counting our blessings

As a father of two young children, I am truly blessed. Yet, that’s easy to forget at 3:00 a.m. when one child’s loud crying wakes up the other.

One of the ways I remind myself is by following an ancient Jewish custom. In Judaism, the first thing we are supposed to do each morning is sit up and say the words,

I am grateful to you, Oh God, who has restored my soul from sleep and given me the breath of life.

No sighing. No turning our pillows over and burying our heads in them. We recognize the blessing of life. We prime ourselves to live with gratitude. We count our blessings and find happiness in them.

Saying blessings

It is not enough, however, to recognize and count our blessings. We have to say them, too. Acknowledge them. Speak them.

That’s why the ancient sages urged us to say 100 blessings a day. Something magical happens when we give expression to our feelings, when we use words to show gratitude.

About a month ago, I saw an example of this magic. I was in my office when a member of my congregation came by. He had a burning question.

“I was dining at a restaurant in New York,” he began. “A few tables away from me a man stood up and proposed to his girlfriend. She said yes, and everybody in the restaurant cheered. Then the man walked quietly over to a corner, put on a yarmulke, and said some type of blessing. His and his fiance’s eyes filled with tears. Rabbi, do you have any idea what blessing he said?”

I recited a blessing I thought it might be, and he said, “Yes, that’s it! Do you have a copy?” “Sure,” I said. “Why do you ask?”

“I am planning to propose to my girlfriend this weekend, and I want to say it with her.”

With tears in my eyes, I handed him the blessing.

How a blessing works

Blessings express our feelings. They need not be traditional ones. They simply need to come from the heart. When they do, they can change lives.

I experienced this truth near the end of my grandfather’s life. We were very close. Up until his death, I tried to talk to or visit him every day. We would usually end our conversations with my saying “Talk to you tomorrow.” We did not say, “I love you.” He was not a warm fuzzy kind of guy, and it just did not feel right.

But during the last few weeks of his life, something changed. Perhaps it was the birth of my daughter or his declining condition. Whatever the cause, our moments became more infused with meaning.

When I said, “I love you”

A month before my grandfather died, I was sitting by his bed, talking to him. As I got up to leave, I felt a twitch in my stomach. Turning to him, I said, “Grandpa, I love you.”

He didn’t say anything. Our connection, however, had changed. Thereafter, we ended each conversation with my saying, “I love you.”

Saying ‘I love you’ to our dearest ones blesses them and us. It is a way we make our lives a blessing. It is something each of us can do today, tomorrow and for the rest of our lives.

This is one more way we can speak and share our blessings. When we do, we learn the discipline of gratitude and the importance of words in our daily lives.

Everyone has an opportunity look at his or her life and decide what to focus on. Will it be the tragedy, the pain, the hardship? Or will it be a blessing? You decide.

What’s one blessing you haven’t spoken that you need to? Share in the comments.

Disclosure: The above book link is an affiliate link.

There is, in fact, more than one type of commitment. And knowing that can make a world of difference.

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Commitment means something different at different stages of life:

As a child, you’re committed to doing what your parents tell you, because they’re your parents and that’s what you’re supposed to do.

As an adolescent, it’s hard to commit to something that lasts longer than a few months. So much can change so quickly, it seems foolish to unnecessarily tether yourself to something so uncertain.

As you enter adulthood, commitment takes on a different shape yet again. Through each season of life, we must relearn what it means to commit.

An adventure

The first level of commitment is an adventure. In this season, you commit to something for the sheer thrill of it. This type marks those who travel the world and are able to walk away from a perfectly good job. Adventurers can move across the country or break up with a boyfriend without thinking twice.

This type of commitment is important, because it helps you experience a broad array of opportunities life has to offer. It will lead you to see the world, explore different types of jobs, and do things you’ve never done before — as long as those things feel good.

However, this is healthy only for a season.

When you build your entire life around this type of commitment, it can become problematic. You may find this way of living unfulfilling and immature as you grow up. I know I did.

After spending a year of traveling from city to city while living in a van, I was fed up with wandering. Having seen so many homes and been a part of so many families, I was ready for something steady — if only for a season.

A season

The second level of commitment is a season. You commit to something for an extended period of time, even after the initial thrill wanes.

You plant seeds and stick around long enough to see them grow. You camp out at a job or under a revival tent, because there is something special about the place. You go through life with a certain group of people and get to know them well.

But this is all temporary. After the time of the commitment is complete, you move on to other endeavors. The season is over; the commitment is finished.

This is an important level of commitment that many neglect. They jump from complete recklessness to starting a family — sometimes not on purpose.

They go right from college to a full-time career, feeling like they never had the chance to see what life had to offer. If you pursue seasonal commitments, you bridge the gap between adolescence and adulthood without getting bitter.

A season is what you make it. Some last five months, while others last five years. My year on the road was a season, as was my friend Dustin’s two years teaching in Guatemala. The point of this type of commitment is it serves a purpose and has an end.

A marriage (not literally)

The third level of commitment is a marriage. This is the highest mark of maturity and what marks true dedication.

Of course, it applies to more than actual matrimony, but you get the idea: marriage is forever, and so are some commitments.

Hopefully, your calling fits under this category. Although jobs come and go, your vocation — your life’s work — should be something that sticks. Something you can commit to.

But how do you know it when you find it? You could do what my wife, Ashley, does.

When she takes a job, she has a “marriage” mentality about it. She doesn’t devise an exit strategy or consider her next steps. There are no stepping-stones in her book; she has no backup plans.

She’s not like many people her age, looking over her shoulder for something better to come along. She just knows how always looking for the next best thing can sabotage your work and rob you of where you are now.

Time to commit

Depending on where you are in life, it may be time to go on an adventure or make a seasonal commitment. It may even be time to take more of a marriage mentality towards certain things.

But it’s definitely not time to keep drifting through life without any thought as to who or what is counting on you. To keep shirking responsibility and causing those closest to you to call into question your integrity.

No, friend. It’s time to commit. To a job, a relationship, a path. Something. Anything.

We don’t need your restlessness or your excitement. We have enough Peter Pans, thank you very much. What we need is a little more conviction in our difference-makers. We need your focus, your pluck, your courage.

We need you to commit.

This was adapted from my book, Wrecked, which is on sale this week on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and CBD (also available as an audiobook). If you haven’t picked it up yet, now’s a great time to get it for yourself or a friend.

So which type of commitment sounds scariest to you? (Maybe that’s the one you should pursue.) Share in the comments.