1. Am I happy with the present state of affairs at home and at work?
2. Am I aware of my needs at work and at home? Am I happy?
3. Am I aware of the needs of my husband? Are they being met adequately?
4. Am I aware of the needs of each of my children? Are they being met?

Juggling the demands of job and family is really difficult. You have to continually evaluate if your juggling act is adequate for everybody, including yourself. But remember: everybody needs to contribute something to make everybody else happy. It is not your sole responsibility. You can initiate a meeting to get a feedback from each member of the family. Talk to each other about needs that should be addressed.

And caring should not be just a one-way street.  They have to know your needs as well. You need to care for yourself as well so that you can share yourself with your family.

There are many ways of having a sense of self, whether with a job or not, whether you’re a part-time or a full-timemom. Listen to your guilt; why do you have it? Are you neglecting something important? Can you delay something for a better good? Maybe avoid overtime for now or go part-time for a while?

Family should be a top priority — at the end of the day, our source ofhappiness rests a lot on how we cared for our spouse and our children. We need to respond to their needs so they will feel loved. We might think we are loving them with the things we give them, but are these what they really need?

Consider if the needs of your children are being met. If they are below 10 years old, the presence of at least one parent on a part-time, if not full-time, basis is needed. The formation and guidance of children by their parents is very important in the first 10 years. This can be done by spending time with them every day.

If your children are over 10, ask yourself: did you adequately attend to their needs when they were younger? Are there behavioral or academic problems that have taken place during this time?Your presence now might be able to do some repair work in the relationship. Ask your husband if he thinks the children need for more guidance and coaching.

With teens, you may need to attend parenting workshops or read the literature. Reconnecting with them may take longer than connecting with younger children.

Finally, think about your financial goals. What lifestyle do you and your husband want? Can this lifestyle allow you to still have healthy and happy relationships, or will it keep you at work to earn money to sustain it?

For parents, raising children is the most fulfilling aspect of their lives. So make sure you and your  husband do not deny yourselves the chance of building a family. Material needs and career options can be recreated later. Usually the first 15 to 20 years of marriage can be demanding — for you, your spouse, and your needs. Focus on relationships. It does not cost much to be happy. But it costs a lot, really a lot of emotional pain when problems with spouse and/or children surface due to one’s career and choices.

It’s a trite assumption. You’re either a cat person or you’re a dog person. Yes, species-sided people do exist, but they’re not the norm. Most people don’t place themselves on one side of the aisle or the other. Despite this, a lot of research has been done over the past decades, trying to delve into the differences between cat owners and dog owners, and the results are surprisingly similar. However, there are a few key differences between them.

Cat owners are smarter – well, at least have more formal education. A British poll found 47% of homes with a cat had a person with a college degree, while only 38% of homes with dogs.

Dog owners are more likely to vote red, as in Republican. While a third of dog owners consider themselves republican, only about a quarter of cat owners do.

Dog people are more extroverted & agreeable, while cat people are more neurotic yet more open-minded & creative. Cat people tend to seek out a variety of activities while dog owners’ lives tend to be more routine.

Dog owners that are overweight are more likely to have an overweight dog, versus cat owners who are overweight don’t seem to have any affect on their cat’s weight.

Cat owners are likely to let pets on the bed… or anywhere the cat wants.

Dog owners are likely to treat their pets to rides in the car.

Dog owners expect their pet to come help them in a time of distress. Cat owners expect to get ignored.

About ½ of cat owners think their cat watches TV – only about 1/3 of dog owners think their pet is being entertained by the television.

Now for some similarities:

First of all, just owning a pet means you’re probably a woman. Doesn’t matter if it’s a dog or a cat, women are most often the primary care-giver.

If you own a pet (either cat or dog), you are probably married. However, if you’re single with a pet, it’s more likely you own a cat.

And if you own one pet, you probably own at least another. 64% of pet households have more than one furball running around. However, cat owners are more likely to have multiple pets.

Whether it’s a dog or cat you own (or owns you), consider yourself fortunate. We pet owners get the benefit of lower blood pressure and lower stress levels. So that extra money you spend on your pet, you may be saving more than that on your own health care.

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Drying herbs is not a difficult task to do.  Whether you plan to dry your herb harvest from your own garden or leftover herbs bought from the store, this is an easy and cheap method.

Tie five or six sprigs together at the stem ends.  If you are drying basil or mint, make sure to give enough space between the leaves to prevent mold growth. 

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To dry, hang these bunches upside down in a warm and airy place away from sunlight.  Doing this will retain the herbs’ flavor best. 

If you live in a dusty and dry climate, get a paper bag and cut lots of holes into it.  Then place the herb bunch with the stem ends up.  Secure the bag with a string or rubber band then hang.

In two to four weeks, the leaves are dry and ready.  They should break apart easily in your fingers.  Place them in an airtight jar.  These are ready to use; just crumble them when needed.  These herbs will keep for about a year.

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To learn more about storing herbs read this:   Tips for Storing Herbs and Spices

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In any new activity such as school or extra-curricular lessons, children are often excited at the start.  But this initial enthusiasm tends to turn stale after a few weeks of sessions.  This is natural especially with children.  The challenge is keeping this eagerness going even after the initial excitement period.  How then will you keep your child’s motivation up? This is important particularly when the child is enrolled in an after-school enrichment program such as music, arts, and sports courses.

Establish the mindset early on

Make the child understand the importance of studies and the enrichment activities are.  Let him know that a well rounded learning experience contributes to an outstanding career in the future.  Plan family activities that are related to your child’s present subject or topic being studied in order to further develop his interest in his studies.  Find opportunities to emphasize the connection of the real world to academics whenever possible.

Set goals

Through your example, let your child see and learn that perseverance will be rewarded.  If your child learns and believes that achievement is the result of effort, he or she is more likely to persevere towards a goal.  Children who are raised with this positive attitude are less likely to be chronic quitters or drop outs.

Reward success

Reward your child’s achievements; praise is necessary when he or she attains something out of his or her own hard work.  These positive reinforcements go a long way in increasing self esteem and enhancing confidence. 

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Many people perceive that organizing a recycling center at home is such a difficult undertaking.  It just takes some creativity and commitment and you’ll find that it is not really a daunting task.  When you see that you are doing your part in taking care of the environment, you’ll feel better, too.

To start, here’s how:

Find a convenient area in your house, backyard, or apartment for the center.  It doesn’t require much room for your recyclables.  The garages, kitchen corners, storage closet, or under your kitchen sink can make good locations.  Find and carefully label containers in which to store the recyclable materials.  Plastic bins or even trash cans work well for this purpose, depending on the amount of room available in your place.

Actively involve your family in this recycling process.  Orient them on what products can be recycled.  Show them the difference between the aluminum can bin and the tin can bin.  While doing weekly chores with them, teach them to look for recyclable trash lying around the house.  Encourage them to place these in their respective storage bins.

Encourage them to think of ways to reduce the amount of recycled materials that’s consumed in your home.  When you go to the recycling center in your neighborhood, take them along with you so they can witness the recycling process firsthand.  Set the example at home by showing them recyclable materials can be creatively reused at home especially in organizing things.  A large cardboard box can double as a compartment for their shoes, a milk carton can be used to store fish in the freezer, or a cookie can be used as a coin bank. 

Make this a regular activity.  When they learn that by recycling and reusing products money can be both saved and earned, they will eventually develop a thrifty and environmentally healthy habit for life.

If you’re feeling the four white walls of your apartment closing in during the end of winter, maybe it’s time to brighten up a few rooms for spring to change your state of mind from overcast to sunny. Fortunately, the hot colors for 2010 are purple and orange, which give you plenty of opportunities to perk up your space in a bright, cheerful way.

If jewel-toned purple and orange sound too radical for your tastes, consider adding life to your neutral walls and furniture with lavender and coral decorative pieces instead. Or, think about pairing dark purple and yellow-orange. Check out the suggested items below for stylish, affordable ways to add the hot colors of 2010 to your DC apartment.

Bedding

What: DwellStudio for Target Suzanni Bedding Collection 

Price: $24.99-79.99

What: DwellStudio for Target Perch Bedding Collection

Price: $24.99-89.99

What: Company Cotton Cambridge Stripe Percale Bedding

Price: $12.99-35.99

What: Java Quilt Shams

Price: $24-34

Wall Art

What: Paisley Canvas Wall Art

Price: $29.99

What: Sowash Amber Canvas

Price: $99.99

What: Gator I by Patty Tuggle

Price: $49.99

What: Purple Magnolia Wall Décor

Price: $79.99

What: Assorted Floral Wall Art

Price: $30

What: Embossed Multi Mirror

Price: $60

What: Warmth Wall Décor

Price: $45

Accent Pieces

What: Lacquered Jewel Boxes

Price: $10

What: Amber Scroll Clock

Price: $24.99

What: Florera Fin 4” and 7” Scented Block Candle in Lilac

Price: $2.99-3.99

What: Somrig Vases in Blue/Lilac

Price: $1.99

What: Ceramic Decorative Balls

Price: $19.99

One of the best ways to save on heating and cooling energy cost is to make sure your home is sealed properly…thus preventing warm/cool air from your heating and air conditioning from escaping. The simplest way to keep your heated or cool air indoors is caulking. But, you need to do it properly to be effective.

First, you need to understand what caulk is. Caulk is a flexible sealer made from silicone or acrylic latex that is able to be painted. If you want to paint the caulk to match window and door frames, look for an acrylic latex brand that is “paintable.” Otherwise, silicone, which is not able to be painted, comes in a variety of colors. Silicone is less apt to crack and will have a longer life. Caulk provides thermal insulation, noise mitigation, and controls water penetration. According to the Consumer Federation of America, sealing leaks around the home with caulk is an excellent method to cut energy costs and reduce the homes carbon footprint. The flexible sealer is easily worked into cracks and gaps around windows, doors, appliances, etc… It can be found at most local hardware stores.

Step One:
Once you choose which type of caulk you want to use, load the caulk into a caulk gun and snip off the tip. The smaller the hole, the easier the caulk will be to control. You can apply caulk directly from the tube, but it is messy and timely. The caulk gun is sold separately from the caulk.

Step Two:

Take a tour of your exterior and interior home noting any crack, hole, gap, or slit that could let air in or out of the home. The biggest gaps are usually around windows and doors. Other places that are usual suspects are exterior light fixtures, commodes, outdoor taps, exhaust fan openings, and entrance holes for cable and phone lines.

Step Three:

Clean the areas where you will caulk… making sure they are dirt free and dry.

Step Four:

Hold the caulking gun at a 45 degree angle and squeeze a small bead of caulk into the crack; follow the crack holding steady pressure until the area is sealed. Use your finger to smooth or work the caulk into any uneven areas. For example, if you are caulking a window frame you will apply the caulk between the window frame and the exterior surface of your home and hold a steady bead all the way around the window. 

Step Five:

The caulk will need to dry for 24 hours if you are planning to paint it.

• Capacity to pay
• Character
• Veracity of residence address

In checking one’s capacity to pay, banks request for an income tax return or pay slip to verify how much a person makes. They also check if the person really works for such a company.

To check on an individual’s character, they send the applicant’s name to Credit Information Bureau. Then it sends out the name of the applicant to the member banks, which will in turn give feedback on the person’s credit history. An untainted credit history opens doors for an applicant. Banks also send out credit investigators to check if a person lives in the address written on the application form. This is very important, since banks want to make sure your bills will get to you.

Other possible reasons for denial of application:

• You don’t live in the address or you don’t work at the office you wrote down on the form.
• You have a namesake. If the bank sees that you have a common name, it will require you to submit an affidavit of denial to prove that you are not the 35-year-old realtor based in a certain city, for instance, but that you are a 40-year-old call center specialist based in this city. If your name appears in a court case, the bank usually requires a court clearance.
• Income cannot support possible card purchases. This is usually applicable to first-time cardholder applicants. True, you may meet the minimum income requirement, but if you earn just a little bit above that minimum level, the credit card companies may thumb you down. Those who get their credit cards for the first time usually want to charge left and right, and this may put the cardholder in big debt in no time.

What you can do:  Talk to the bank and arrange for a holdout on your deposits. If you want to have a credit limit of $1,000, for example, you’ll have to deposit a certain amount as agreed to cover expenses, and keep it there for some time.

• You are a supplementary cardholder, and your main cardholder missed payments.  The payment record of the main cardholder has a bearing on the supplementary cardholder’s credit history.

So, how do you work it out?

One option is to keep at it until one of you caves in, defeated — an unattractive prospect; you don’t really want to do that to the ones you love. Another choice is to be at odds for the rest of your lives —– also unacceptable.  It might help to understand where the other is coming from —- it may be a power struggle for you, but for them it’s a struggle for independence. Learning to see each other’s point of view may help you work out your problems.

Don’t make rules that are too stringent

No going out with friends, no phone privileges, no treats — it’s possible that they be rebelling because your rules are too strict and too confining. Lighten up a little and let them have more freedom. Don’t be unbending.

Don’t be unforgiving

If they make a mistake, deal with it and let it go. Just because they did it once doesn’t mean that they will do it again, and if you show them that you trust them, they will try to honor your trust by avoiding repeating the mistake. If you never forgive them for a mistake, they might never forgive you.

Don’t be a pushover

Don’t make the rules and then let your kids break them whenever they wish. Don’t let them walk all over you. If this means having to take a firm — and loud —- stance to make your point, then do it. “Gentle” tactics don’t work all the time. Sometimes you have to put your foot down, and keep it there until they learn.

Don’t attach them

Focus on the behavior that is requiring you to step in and lay down the law. Don’t say, “You’re always playing your stereo so loudly. You don’t care about other people!” Ask them to change their behavior, without passing judgement on their character.

Don’t boss them around

You’re never too old to learn the value of “please.” And don’t simply order them to do something without considering their situation. Maybe they can’t clean their bedroom right now because they’re trying to meet the deadline of an assignment. Maybe they have to be on the phone with their friend because the friend is in a crisis. Teenagers don’t always act selfishly, so you shouldn’t either.

Listen

Hear them out — at this point in their life, they need a sympathetic ear. Don’t interrupt, don’t jump to conclusions, don’t go on the defensive. Be accessible to them, and they will learn to open up to you.

Tell them about yourself

Your kids might not believe it, but you were once their age too. Tell them about how you were like as a kid, and about all the things you went through with their grandparents. All of you might be surprised at how much you have in common.

Praise them

This is true when they were small children, and it is still true now that they’re big. Recognize their achievements and their good qualities. Applaud them for the good that they do.

Allow them to make decisions

The kids are right about one thing: they are growing up. Let them begin to make their own decisions. But you don’t have to cut them free completely. Be there to advise and to support them — they’ll need you.

flickr photo by worak

The best glass cleaner is one that works fast and removes grime with a minimum of help from you. 

Are newspapers good for cleaning windows?

Over the years, there have been many opinions about which window wipers work best.  Professionals do their wiping with natural-sponge applicators and rubber squeegees.  Some purists feel the job is unfinished without careful application of a good chamois leather.  Yet others swear by yesterday’s newspaper.

In a Consumers Union test of newspaper used with an effective commercial cleaner on heavily soiled windows, it was found that newspaper is not very absorbent.  It takes a fair amount of wiping and rubbing to clean and polish a window with it.  Newspaper also blackens hands and leaves ink smudges around window mullions.

Homemade window cleaning recipes

Homemade products can equal or best many of the aerosols, sprays, and premoistened towels in stores.  They cost a fraction of the price for commercial products – a penny or less per ounce – and you can easily prepare them at home.

The Lemon Formula—works for lightly soiled windows.  Mix 4 tablespoons of lemon juice in 1 gallon of water.

The Ammonia Formula – works for heavily soiled windows.  Mix ½ cup of sudsy ammonia, 1 pint of rubbing alcohol, and 1 tablespoon of hand dishwashing liquid (do not use more than 1 tablespoon, or streaking may result), and top the mixture up with enough water to make 1 gallon.

Store products

A store-bought glass cleaner would cost from around a nickel to a quarter an ounce.  Pump sprays generally carry a lower cost-per-ounce than do aerosols, and supermarket house brands are generally cheaper than national brands.

With most commercial products, an ounce of cleaner goes pretty far.  It would cost on average only a few pennies to clean both sides of a heavily soiled window measuring 2 by 3 feet.

Environment friendly

Among the usual ingredients in most glass cleaners, none pose any problems for the environment.  None of the cleaners contain phosphates, and none of the aerosols contain ozone-depleting propellants.