Creative Commons/ResorTime.com

10 From GEM:
10 Tips To Survive A Family Road Trip

This weekend marks the unofficial start of summer. Over 75% of Americans are taking a summer vacation this year. If you’re one of the millions that will be hitting the road with your family, you’ll definitely want to keep reading for 10 things you can do to survive the trip and make it fun and memorable for everyone.

 1. MAKE A CONTRACT
BEFORE YOU GO

Creative Commons/wstrachan

Before you go, it’s an excellent idea to have a family meeting where everybody discusses their expectations for the trip. Writing a contract can psychologically make it much easier not to engage in behaviors that disrupt unity. Discuss things you want to have happen or not to happen on your trip. You might want to limit or eliminate the use of gadgets so that the family actually talks to each other. Your son might request that the family spends a maximum of 30 minutes at a rest stop because he knows how you love to chat up strangers. Allow each family member a say in what goes in the contract.

Read more: Ask The Good Enough Guys: Is “Until Death” Too Long To Be Married?

2. TRAVEL MULTI-GENERATIONALLY

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Parents are getting smart and taking extended family members on trips. Grandparents have more patience with grandkids and are skilled at defusing sticky situations. Teenage nieces or nephews can be an extra pair of hands and eyes to watch over little ones. A sibling of yours can help out with driving, especially if you’ll be traveling long distances.

Read more: Ask Rene: How Do I Handle My Granddaughter’s Grabby Guy?

3. TAKE THE FAMILY PET

Creative Commons/Megan Finley

It can be fun to have your pet join you on a trip. After all, your pets are part of your family! You don’t need to worry about boarding your pet or asking someone to check on him if he’s with you. Many hotels and restaurants are pet-friendly, particularly in areas that cater to vacationers.

Read more: Do You Have GUNS In Your House? No, Really. I’m Asking.

4. SLOW DOWN

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Taking a vacation where every moment is planned is so last year. The new vacation is called a slowcation. Schedule less and go off the beaten path more. If something interesting catches your eye, investigate it—even if it’s a few miles out of the way or you lose a little bit of time. With your family’s tightly-packed schedule during the rest of the year, it will be refreshing to just see what happens.

Read more: Ask Rene: My Mom, My Kids, My Vacation NIGHTMARE!

5. PLAY OLD SCHOOL GAMES

Creative Commons/photo.lady2000

You lived through it, so you know there was a time when there were no DVD players, game consoles, laptops, and cell phones to while away the miles. You played games like I Spy, the Alphabet Game, the License Plate Game, and 20 Questions. And you had a good time. Yes, it is easy to quiet the kids down with a movie—and you should do that whenever necessary—but get enthusiastic about introducing car games from days of yore.

Read more: 10 From GEM: 10 Lessons To Teach Kids Of All Ages

6. EVERYONE GETS A CHOICE

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Let everyone decide on something they want to do or see on the road trip. It’s so much easier if everybody feels like they have choices when it comes to the vacation. You can plan ahead on this one. If your kids enjoy fishing, but that’s not part of your plans at your ultimate destination, find a lake or river on the way where they can fish.

Read more: The GEM Debate: Would You Let Your Kid Skip A Free Ride To College?

7. EVERYONE GETS A JOB

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When people don’t have anything to do, they get bored—and it doesn’t only happen to kids. Idle people can quickly get cranky and unpleasant. Head off trouble by giving everyone a job. You might need a navigator to keep track of where you are and where you’re going, a banker to be in charge of how petty cash is spent, and a scrapbooker to take pictures and write journal entries about the trip. Switch jobs halfway through the trip or on the return trip so everyone does each job at least once.

Read more: Welfare: There But For The Grace Of Jobs Go YOU

8. BURN OFF EXCESS ENERGY

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Every few hours, let everybody out of the car to stretch their legs. Take along a few items like a jump rope, a ball to kick around, and a Frisbee. They’re easy to pack and the kids will be happy to play. It’s amazing how just 15 or 20 minutes of play or light exercise resets everybody’s mood.

Read more: 10 From GEM: Fun And Easy Things To Do With Your Preteen

9. REMEMBER THE PAST

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If you have a DVD player or laptop in your vehicle, take along some home videos. How often do you really get a chance to look at them at home? I’m guessing not much. What a great way to pass the time and catch up on memories. Your kids will love looking at your wedding video and video of themselves when they were babies.

Read more: The GEM Debate: You Want To Talk To Teens About S-E-X Where? (VIDEO)

10. SHARE YOUR FAMILY HISTORY

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In the same vein as number 9, how often do you talk about your family history? Every family has interesting stories and characters, and a road trip is a great time to share this information. Talk about little known facts or trivia. After all, you have a captive audience!

Read more: 10 From GEM: Spring Break Edition: Flee The Crowds..Fun Off The Beaten Path

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What will you be doing to survive your summer road trip? What are your best ideas for a vacation everyone will enjoy? Share your tips below.

More From GEM:

10 From GEM: 10 Tips To Keep Your Kids Off The Summer Slide

10 From GEM: Spring Break Edition: 10 Ways To Save Money On A Road Trip

5 Ways to Save Now for Next Year’s Summer Vacation : Parentables

Alexis Trass Walker lives in Gary, Indiana, with her husband and four children. She is a stay at home mom and writer who loves all things chocolate. Read more about Alexis on her blog lilliebelle.org, email her at alexistrasswalker@gmail.com, or follow her on Twitter @LillieBelle5.

The post 10 From GEM: 10 Tips To Survive A Family Road Trip appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Tandem Tantrums:
The Limited Time Magic Of 18 Summers

When we – and by we I mean Team GEM – went to Disney Social Media Moms last year, they mentioned that we as parents only get 18 summers with our kids.  That’s right.  Creating memories with our kids is important and the earlier it starts, the better.

A few, fleeting months ago I was telling you guys how important it is to see your child in the throes of Walt Disney World as a toddler.  Well, I didn’t even have any idea what I was talking about.  After seeing the difference in my toddler through the #NewFantasyland of five months ago and #DisneySMMoms this month, I’m shocked; and 18 summers doesn’t even feel like enough.  I knew she was growing every single day, but she went from toddler to too grown to even be called a baby.  Seeing Disney through her eyes is always going to be wondrous, and to use Disney’s theme, it is limited time magic for me every visit because she’ll never be the same “baby” as she was the last time.  So I wanted to share the ways my toddler grew in just two trips to the happiest place on Earth.

“I CAN DO IT”

I really don’t know where Joelle gets her skills.  At dinner she hung with the ladies of the crew (Rene’s mom is in the above pic) and surprised us all by using her chopsticks properly.  I didn’t know she could do that!  I’m certain she didn’t do that the last time we visited.

Read more:  Tandem Tantrums: Three Cheers For Mommy

“WORKING ON MY ROAR!”

We have got to work on our Disney movie library.  Although Joelle watches a bunch of Disney Jr., she is a little less versed on the movies from “my time.”  Recently I bought the Lion King.  How wonderful it was to sing the songs with her as we explored the Art Of Animation Resort.  I don’t think we danced as much the last time and definitely not while singing songs from my favorite movies.

Read more:  Tandem Tantrums: Product Review.. Disney Junior’s Doc McStuffins

“I’M A PRINCESS”

This was more her mother’s doing.  I did have her in Tinkerbell gear for #NewFantasyland, but this time she really got into it.  Twirls and swirls all day.  And all I had to do to put her to bed was to let her know she was wearing another princess costume the next day…bedtime was a snap!

Read more:  Guest Posting: The Magic, The Mom, And The Marathon

“I KNOW WHERE I’M GOING”

She could find our hotel room – both of them!  She even counted the doors once in Spanish.  Needless to say I was floored.

Read more:  GEM On The Go! New Fantasyland Asks: Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years? (VIDEO)

STRIKE A POSE

I am very surprised to put it nicely that I have a “girly-girl.”  In December it was like pulling teeth to get her to take a picture.  This trip around I couldn’t get her to stop posing.  I love that, of course, because she is my little princess and having a place where others recognize and acknowledge that, too, is crazy special.

Read more:  The Mouse and Me: Previewing The Disney Fantasy!

RIDING OFF INTO THE SUNSET

My daughter loved the Prince Charming Regal Carousel so much.  This is our third trip in the last year and I have to say each time had her riding those horses and smiling. She’s going to be 25 with her own brood visiting Disney and wondering why her mom insists she still ride it.  I don’t care.  The sight of her kissing those horses and saying goodbye to them was too precious a memory for me.  I’ll see it every time we visit.

Read more:  Tandem Tantrums: Weathering The Storm: Be Afraid, But Be Assured
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So what about you?  What magic is happening around you to let you know time and memories are limited with your kids?

Disclosure: Disney paid for my trip so that I could share my Disney Social Media Moms experience with you.  The views, fun, and implications for endless possibilities, are all my own.

More from GEM:

GEM On The Go! How I Became Social Media Manager At Disney For A Day!

Tandem Tantrums: Disney Junior’s Jake And The Never Land Pirates Summer Adventures

GEM On The GO! Adventures In New Fantasyland.. And It IS A Fantasy!

Ella Rucker is an Ohio native who moved to The Big Apple for fame and fortune.  After attending Wright State University for medicine and then working in telecommunications, she finds herself pursuing her dream of writing.  Ella is now a contributor at goodenoughmother.com in that vain as well as producing for the brand.  The mother of an amazing 3-year-old and surrogate to a few others, Ella is enjoying a life of watching the dreams she envisioned for her life unfold even if they did take the scenic route.  Her writing can also be found on mochamanual.com.

The post Tandem Tantrums: The Limited Time Magic Of 18 Summers appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Motherhood Makes Moguls!
Why Women Don’t Lose Focus After
Baby And Why That Thinking Must Change (VIDEO)

AGGGGHHHHHHH!

That is the sound of me pulling my hair out after hearing Paul Tudor Jones talking to a group of students and alumni at the University of West Virginia recently.

Jones is a hedge fund billionaire who was quoted as saying,

“As soon as that baby’s lips touched that girl’s bosom, forget it,”

Um, while that may be true (yes, you don’t forget the nursing experience), there are so many, MANY things wrong with this I’m not even sure where to start (maybe calling a woman, “girl”?)

Here’s the clip; watch for yourself.

As nice as that may have sounded, Tudor’s comments have pretty much ricocheted around the ‘net.  Why? Because at least half of the population knows it’s bull.

To be fair the article above is Tudor’s explanation of those remarks; he goes on to say he has three daughters who can do anything they put their hearts and minds to, and those remarks were made about a specific profession, macro traders, who are on call 24/7 and require a high degree of focus and skill. “Life events, such as birth, divorce, death of a loved one and other emotional highs and lows are obstacles to success in this specific field of finance,” he goes on to say.

Um, yeah.  I still say, “bull.”

(Wait, so is he saying that people who work in finance cannot have babies, get divorced or have someone die? What the…)

This thinking is one of the reasons I wrote Good Enough Mother. Becoming a mother didn’t mean that I, Rene Syler, stopped having dreams and goals and aspirations; I still have them. Becoming a mother made me multi-faceted, not singularly focused on my kids.

One of the things that Paul Tudor Jones and so many others don’t get is that motherhood doesn’t make you LOSE your focus; it makes you more focused, on more things. On a micro-level you focus on your family (whether they are young enough to be on your bosom or old enough to be on your nerves); on a macro level mothers want to make the world a better place. Mothers focus on kids in school, the school itself, the community that supports that school, the county and country and on and on.

You see Mr. Jones? Mothers are masterful multi-taskers. Yes, a job that requires us to be on call  at the office 24/7 (oh you mean like motherhood does at home?) might not work when kids are very young, but that doesn’t mean it will never work. My fear is that putting that out there means women will, not only not try, but they won’t be given a chance.

Those comments make me wonder about the corporate culture Jones is fostering; are they hiring women at the top levels?  Or are they hesitant to give any type of promotion to someone who could potentially have children and, according to Mr. Jones, lose focus?  My guess would be the latter and that sucks.

I’m sure they are missing out on some great talent.

Okay *rant over*

What do you guys think? Is this antiquated thinking or is there truth to this?

More from GEM:

Need A Job? 6 Reasons You Should Work (Initially) For Free

Monday Morning Motivation: 5 Signs It’s Time For A (Career) Change

Monday Morning Motivation: Go At Your Own Pace!

The post Motherhood Makes Moguls! Why Women Don’t Lose Focus After Baby And Why That Thinking Must Change (VIDEO) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Life Lessons:
Rissi Palmer

Are you happy at the moment?

I am

If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?

I would say tell myself to value and believe in myself more.  At 16 I was dealing with an eating disorder that caused me to be so self-conscious and second guess myself at every turn.   I just wanted so badly to be liked and feel validated.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?

Whew, we don’t have time!  I think the most important lesson I’ve learned came to me this past week.  I’ve had to mourn and let go of my old life.  My life took a very drastic turn four years ago; I left my record label after a very tumultuous yearlong legal battle during the height of my career, started a relationship with and married my husband, and got pregnant all within the same year and a half.  It was a scary and exciting time.  However, I had to put a lot of things on the backburner or out of sight completely.   I love my family but there have been times when I think that I have been holding on to the possibility of picking up where I left off four years ago.  I’m 31 now, a mother, a wife,  an artist, and all of these things can be harmonious as long as I live in the now instead of the past or the future.

What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?

I’m planning on taking my current album, Best Day Ever, on the road and doing a little touring this summer and fall.  I plan on heading back into the studio at the beginning of 2014 and we may be planning a new addition to our family.  My little girl turns two in June and I’m looking forward to celebrating that.

What’s your secret to happiness?

My secret to happiness is pretty simple:  I choose to be happy.  There are so many things that can get you down on a daily basis and it’s so easy to get caught up.  I feel whatever I need to feel at the moment, whether that is sadness, disappointment, anger, etc., and then I let it go.  .

What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?

I think my role as mommy and wife is pretty humbling.  Regardless of what fabulousness is brewing in my career, diapers still need to be changed, dinners cooked, toilets scrubbed.

What’s your biggest regret?

My biggest regret is a relationship that I had when I was younger where I compromised who I am, what I believe in, and what I’m worth.  I had no business with this person, it ended very badly, and caused a lot of collateral damage in addition to my personal pain.  It was something that I could have avoided if I just listened to my gut…and countless girlfriends lol.

What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?

Grace is still young so the most important lesson at the moment is potty training.  However, I plan on showing her that there is no reason she should EVER compromise her dreams.  I want Grace to have all the things she wants in this life but she must understand that she’s owed nothing and it takes work on top of work and, even then, some things may not come to pass.

What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?

I tend to internalize things.  I made a promise to myself that I was going to work on being more open.  I’ll let you know how that turns out lol.

Aside from motherhood/fatherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?

I am most proud of the fact that I haven’t  let fear stop me from pursuing the things I love.  I get just as nervous (if not more so) than anybody but I’ve always just pushed through it.

When were you happiest?

All of my happiest moments have been onstage or with my family but I have to say the happiest was when my daughter was born.  I had a c-section because she was breech and my husband was sitting right next to my head.  When they took her out, he held her next to my face and we kissed her at the same time.  It was the moment we became a family and it was pretty amazing.

What ten words best describe you?

Loyal, disciplined, determined, kind, singer, mother, wife, sister, friend, daughter.

Five years ago, Rissi Palmer was living her dream. The singer-songwriter’s first two country albums were major label releases and she was opening for the likes of Taylor Swift, Sawyer Brown and Sarah Evans. She performed at the Grand Ole Opry, won notice from Oprah and was written about in major publications from People, Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal and Billboard to Country Weekly, Rolling Stone, Parade and Ebony.

Today, those articles are stored away in a cabinet in her dining room and Palmer is living a very different life. She parted ways with her recording label over creative differences and, about three years ago, moved to Raleigh NC after marrying husband Bryan. She now is the mom of 18-month-old Grace.

Best Day Ever, her newest album, is what Rissi calls “a sophisticated children’s album”, written with kids and their parents in mind.  The entire project is filled with songs about the simple-yet-profound things that make life the “best day ever” for children in so many ways and is set to a soundtrack of mostly pop with a little country twang or R&B thrown in.

The album has already received accolades from several popular family blogs and is available now on iTunes, Amazon, Cd Baby, and all major digital music outlets.  For more information, please visit: rissipalmermusic.com.

The post Life Lessons: Rissi Palmer appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Life Lessons:
Nicole Brady

Are you happy at the moment?

Right now, at this very moment, yes. I’m happy. I am easily stressed out by silly little things but when I sit down and count my blessings, I have everything in the world TO be happy: A wonderful, healthy and intelligent family, a roof over my head and food in my belly, amazing opportunities both professionally and personally.

If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?

Giving my 16-year-old self advice might make me more comfortable in my own skin but I would venture to guess that (1) I wouldn’t listen to myself or (2) It would change how I felt or acted and therefore change my path completely. Everything that I have done and that has happened to me is what has made me who I am today. All the heartbreaks and ways I was mistreated along with the successes, accomplishments and failures. If I had to say something, this is what it would be: “You will never be able to please everyone but don’t let others derail you from being the best person you can be. There is nothing wrong with trying to be friends with everyone but there will be critics who try to discredit your sincere interest in being kind to anyone you meet. Realize those skills and traits you develop amidst the criticism are what help you be successful, both personally and professionally, the rest of your life.”

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?

I have come to the sad realization that I have many faults and that I need to overcome those because problems that arise from those faults impact the people I love.

What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?

Personally, I want to finally reach my weight goal as well as run an official 5K. Professionally, I want to find focus, blog more frequently and grow my brand… all which go hand-in-hand.

What’s your secret to happiness?

My secret to happiness is the knowledge that I’m not alone in this world. I’ve been blessed with an amazing, supportive and caring husband who encourages me to pursue my dreams, lifts me up when I am down and carries or guides me across every threshold I feel like I cannot cross alone.

What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?

My world is filled with clutter. Although I have trouble overcoming THAT, I find sanity where I can. Every day, I make my bed. On days that I’m rushed and can’t, I feel overwhelmed. It’s amazing that this one simple task that I do daily helps make me feel like things aren’t a total disaster.

What’s your biggest regret?

My biggest regret is asking my husband to relocate back to Iowa without giving him the opportunity to find somewhere else for us to call home. While there are many positive things about living here, there are also many negatives including the weather, the lack of things to do and lack of opportunities. I was very selfish about that decision.

What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?

Friends will come and go. Material things will break, be outgrown or soon be forgotten. Family is the one thing that will be with you for the rest of your life and should be treated as the most important thing you’ll ever have.

What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?

There are three (bad) habits that go hand-in-hand that I desperately want to fix but despite my efforts, never seem to manage to get past. I’m a packrat and have difficulty getting rid of things. I’m a procrastinator and let things just stack up. Between these two things, I’ve become very disorganized which I hate. I want to find a way to become both physically and emotionally organized. I recall a conversation two years ago (at DisneySMMoms) with a New York mom. At the time, I refused to part with the crib. I was emotionally attached. Space is limited there (unlike here in Iowa) and she explained that something like a crib isn’t important; it just takes up space. Within months, I sold the crib. While I was somewhat emotional, the resulting relief was overwhelming. I wish I could have a crib-revelation about everything else I own, touch or receive.

Aside from motherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?

From a young age, I worked for the construction company my family owned. I opted for a local college even though my older brother thought I should pursue an Ivy League school. My mom insisted that I had the talents to do something more with myself and urged me to utilize the vast contacts I had made as a chairperson for the small business committee at the local Chamber of Commerce. But I didn’t. I was comfortable where I was… status quo.  So I bet you’re asking why I’m proud. Well, it was when I finally stepped outside my comfort zone and encouraged my husband to take a job he was offered in Los Angeles. We uprooted and new doors opened left and right. THAT decision to leave my roots and venture into the unknown is what I am most proud of because without it, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Even more, I wouldn’t be WHO I am today.

Who is your favorite Disney princess and what has she taught you about parenting?

For personality, I relate to Snow White. To quote Wikipedia: “Snow White is often described as a kind, optimistic, and happy person who sees the good in everyone.”  Optimism and seeing good in people isn’t a bad thing… I try to teach that to my children!

What ten words best describe you?

Sociable, caring, intelligent, analytical, creative, optimistic, naïve, disorganized, sincere and last but certainly not least, blessed.

Nicole Brady is a Social Media Mom working with a variety of brands and agencies in various aspects of campaign outreach, including as a brand ambassador and campaign manager.  She is mom of two beautiful daughters, wife of a wonderful husband, and, when she isn’t driving kids to and from *everywhere*, she’s publisher at SahmReviews.com.

The post Life Lessons: Nicole Brady appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Oklahoma Disaster Relief:
How You Can Help Clean The World

The work in Oklahoma is a brick-by-brick, home-by-home, person-by-person effort.  I’ve never been in a disaster where there wasn’t at least a gym open so I have no idea what it is like to have to neglect my hygiene for any length of time.  Well, we have an organization that will change that for the survivors of the Moore, Oklahoma tornado.

On the Amelia episode of Sweet Retreats, Rene met Bill and Robin Galli.  Bill is the Chief Operating Officer of Clean The World, an organization that makes hygiene kits out of used items that hotels can no longer distribute.  You know, the leftover soaps and shampoos that hotels have to discard?  Well, Clean The World takes those and other items, recycles them, and makes hygiene kits which are making a difference in a couple dozen countries by promoting proper personal hygiene. Also, per their website, “Clean the World is there with the all-important hygiene items that dislocated families need to stay healthy during difficult times.”  And now, adding to their support of other major, natural disasters such as Hurricane Sandy and the Japan earthquake-tsunami, this organization is adding their efforts to those in Oklahoma, and WE can help!

GEMnation, you can visit Clean The World’s donation page to make a tax deductible contribution to the relief efforts.  For every $1 the victims of the tornado will get 1 hygiene kit.  There have already been 250 kits sent to St. Andrews Methodist Church in Oklahoma City, and you and your friends can help send more.  Check with your employer to see if they do matching donations for 501(c)(3) nonprofits (a great way to give a little more in these tight times). Don’t forget if you happen to know anyone in the hospitality industry with soap or shampoo that can be recycled, you may also shoot them the link to their Hospitality Partner page.

Thanks, GEMs!

Click here to view the embedded video.

More from GEM:

How To Survive: Oklahoma Tragedy Calls For Action

GEM On The GO! 5 Ways To Travel With A Teen And Still Come Home With Cash!

Where In The World Is Good Enough Mother? Florida, Baby!

Ella Rucker is an Ohio native who moved to The Big Apple for fame and fortune.  After attending Wright State University for medicine and then working in telecommunications, she finds herself pursuing her dream of writing.  Ella is now a contributor at goodenoughmother.com in that vain, as well as producing for the brand.  The mother of an amazing 3-year-old and surrogate to a few others, Ella is enjoying a life of watching the dreams she envisioned for her life unfold even if they did take the scenic route.  Her writing can also be found on mochamanual.com.

The post Oklahoma Disaster Relief: How You Can Help Clean The World (VIDEO) appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

The GEM Debate:
Would You Let Your Kid Skip A Free Ride To College?

First, let’s read the article on this developing story out of Pennsylvania.

That’s right.  This kid is giving up his scholarship – full scholarship – to pursue his rap career…with his father’s support.  WHAT?

Now we all know how expensive college can be and we all know that even if you don’t pursue or get a job in your field of study that college is an invaluable (even though the value does keep going up) experience.  Jay Harris can’t fully appreciate what he is giving up because he hasn’t spent most if not all of his adulthood paying those bills.  And for his father to support him in this endeavor I gotta say he probably doesn’t really understand it either.

But here’s the kicker and where I’m betting the debate comes in.  I think kids are too young to really make these decisions anyway.  My brother got a full ride to college based on football.  After three years or so he had to quit college because he had had three knee surgeries in that time and knew that his body was more important than any amount of money.  There is no telling if something like this would happen to Harris and for that reason and school will absolutely be there.  I think Harris would be more appreciative of the opportunity to learn if his rap career doesn’t feed him and he has to start paying out money for school.

Back to my brother for a second.  He later returned to a school with less panache, but he did play football and earned his degree.  Harris went high in the draft so his talent is highly sought.  Maybe a full scholarship isn’t in his future, but there are plenty of programs that would be happy to have him on their roster next year.  If he plays his cards right taking this year off might teach him a lesson and he can still go to school.

If Harris’s end goal is to play professional football there is no law stating he has to go to college.  Football combines are available for people who want to play professionally, but aren’t in college.  So there’s still a chance Harris could make it to the pros.  He’s going to have to work hard on maintaining his physical conditioning during this downtime, but I’d say he has a shot.

One thing Harris said that struck me as very mature.  He said if his heart wasn’t in it then he’d be wasting his time and that of the college’s.  He’s 100% right about that.  You do need to have dedication and heart to take all the physical discipline in stride.

I say Harris is right to follow his dreams.  I am  not so sure how I feel about his personal dream (the video is explicit, but you can see it here) and his ability in it, but as a general rule for high school students I think they should be allowed to take time before college to figure things out.  This whole post has my expensive-football-combine-trying-out ex-husband all over it; it took him seven years to change majors multiple times to graduate with the same major he initially chose.  I say that to say this: College kids change their minds; people change their minds.  Give them time to figure it all out.  Of course, Harris is giving up a big opportunity, but it may be the actual lesson an 18-year-old needs to really get an education.

So what would you do?  Would you understand as a parent or is this kid going to school?  Do you feel YOU made the right choices when you were 18 and deciding what to do with your life?  Let us know!

More from GEM:

Life Lessons: Erin Lane

My “Target” Moment: How I Left TV News Behind

Our Story Begins: To My Daughter…. It Truly Is About The Journey

The post The GEM Debate: Would You Let Your Kid Skip A Free Ride To College? appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Life Lessons:
Andrea Updyke

Are you happy at the moment?

At this moment, I am sitting in my quiet kitchen waiting for the rest of my family to wake up. There is coffee brewing. Yes, I am happy. I have many happy moments each day. But I also have many frustrated, questioning moments and I am finally accepting the fact that I am ok with that. Happiness is fleeting, but real peace is found when you can weather the storm and come out in one piece. I feel very fortunate to know in my heart, that with help I can weather the storms life throws my way.

If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?

This question always perplexes me. Would I tell her to change? I don’t know that I would, because I am truly thankful for the life she led me to. I’d love this answer to be profound, but honestly that girl needs to put down the cheeseburger. Not the first one, the second one and go ahead and skip the milkshake while she’s at it. A salad never hurt anyone either.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?

Without a doubt, the most important lesson I am learning is to have boundaries in my life. Each step I take toward creating and strengthening my personal boundaries has been life-giving. It’s okay to say no.

What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?

I’ve done a lot of growing in the past year. I have taken risks like never before, but I also overextended myself. In the next 12 months, I hope to say yes to the best, even if I have to say no to the good. I don’t need to do everything. But I want to do what I do really well, whether it be parenting, life or work-related.

What’s your secret to happiness?

My secret is that there is no secret to happiness. Happiness is not my end game. I am learning to be at peace with the happy moments as well as the sad and trying not to be ruled by every emotion that flies through my brain.

What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?

I rely a lot on my faith to get me through each day, be it a little prayer or an inspirational verse or quote. This year, however I have started talking to a professional counselor for the first time and I highly recommend it. There is something so freeing about spilling your guts to a stranger. Try it. I bet you’ll be hooked too!

What’s your biggest regret?

In life? I regret believing the lies that tell me I am not good enough or that I am too much to handle. I regret not owning my strengths and being proud of them because they are unique to me and I work hard. Thankfully, this regret is only temporary because I am turning that bus around!

What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?

My kids know that they are loved absolutely always and without question, unconditionally.

What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?

Looking at my phone whenever I have down time. I need to lock that mess up!

Aside from motherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?

I am so proud that I put myself through college later in life. After a divorce at a young age, I could have given up and simply started working my way up the chain. Instead, I knew I wanted a college education and I made it happen. It was hard, but so worth it!

Who is your favorite Disney princess and what has she taught you about parenting?

I am a big fan of Belle as a princess. But I have to say when it comes to myself, I really identify with Rapunzel. Thankfully, I had a lovely childhood. But I was very independent and self-sufficient from a young age and like Rapunzel, had a crazy relationship with my hair .  In terms of parenting, I suppose all of the Disney princess movies have taught me the importance of keeping the lines of communication open with your children no matter what. I want them to know that I will always be here for them and while they may face consequences for their actions, I will never walk away or stop loving them.

What ten words best describe you?

Loyal, funny, honest, loving, passionate, optimistic, intuitive, smart, sassy, and careful.

Andrea Updyke is a freelance writer and founder of the parenting blog, Lil-Kid-Things, where she seeks to connect with and inspire other women in the fog of the early years of Motherhood. A lover of coffee, Disney, and YA Science Fiction, she knows she can’t take herself too seriously. You can also find Andrea sharing proud mama moments about her sons Oscar (4) and Calvin (1.5) on Google+, Twitter and Facebook!

The post Life Lessons: Andrea Updyke appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

How To Survive:
Oklahoma Tragedy Calls For Action

If you are reading this please  hug a loved one and check on your neighbors as well.  It will be a long day of reporting from Oklahoma as information comes out concerning fatalities, dazed families, first responders, unlikely heros, and miracles.  When 9/11 happened here in New York City, I was away from my family and it felt like, even though I was right here in the city, I was helpless; and I’m feeling that way now.  Here are a few things I’m going to do where I am with what I have to help myself and my family make it through this tragedy.  I hope they help you, too.

CALL ON YOUR HIGHER POWER

Creative Commons/wishvam

Understanding such massive destruction is hard to say the very least.  Communicating with a source of reassurance and divinity is a good way to put things into perspective and ask for the help you may not know how to give today.  Call or visit your place of worship and ask how you can assist with any efforts to aid those in your community or Oklahoma.

Read more:  The God I Know: Religion And The Real World

TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS

Creative Commons/::pascal::

If you are feeling overly anxious about what you are seeing on television today make sure you talk to your spouse, friends, or even a therapist.  When others are hurting it makes us feel like we shouldn’t or can’t do for ourselves.  As we all know putting on the oxygen mask first in an emergency is important.  I once read the (negative) news to the point I couldn’t sleep.  Once I talked it out I was able to let go of a lot of that anxiety.

Read more:  Single Mom Slice Of Life: Sins Of The Mother.. I Try So Hard

FIND SITES THAT ARE DOING GOOD

Creative Commons/justme07

In our world bad news is on a 24-hour loop, but the good news is so is the good news.  You can go to www.americanredcross.org or newsok.com to see how you can help financially and get a tally of all the good that people are doing.

Read more:  How To Talk To Your Kids About…. Tragedy

CHECK ON YOUR OWN NEIGHBORS

Creative Commons/Cubosh

Some people in your neighborhood may also be having problems dealing with coming to terms with the events.  Sending money might not seem like a tangible way to help.  Organizing  fundraising or a clothing drive may be what your community needs to become more action-oriented in this time of confusion.

Read more:  Affected By Sandy? 5 Things To Remember Right Now!

FOCUS ON YOUR POSITIVE

Creative Commons/paperbackwriter

Devastation like this brings about the memories of our own lost loved ones.  Write your thoughts of gratitude in a journal or taking the time to smile at strangers is a good way to stay positive.

Read more:  Our Story Begins: Taking A Chance..Good Enough Mother Style!

GET BREATHING

Creative Commons/Lauren Mikael Photography

Have you ever noticed that when you are stressed you stop breathing?  Well, get your breathing regulated by taking some deep breaths, walking, or exercising (with proper breathing techniques, in through your nose, out through your mouth).

Read more:  Spring And Allergies: 3 Ways To Breathe Easier

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Our worlds are turned upside down when these unexpected events hit so hard and effect so many.  We’d like to be able to do something, yet we are glued to our homes and televisions with disbelief.  Taking some form of action is a great way to help yourself and those around you to a place of normalcy which is important for our nation to heal.

What are you doing to help your family in the wake of this tragedy?

More from GEM:

Our Story Begins: Of Parenting And Problems.. What Makes You Worry?

The Good Enough Mother Minute: How Do You Handle Stress? (Podcast)

Life Lessons: Charlene DeLoach

Ella Rucker is an Ohio native who moved to The Big Apple for fame and fortune.  After attending Wright State University for medicine and then working in telecommunications, she finds herself pursuing her dream of writing.  Ella is now a contributor at goodenoughmother.com in that vain, as well as producing for the brand.  The mother of an amazing 3-year-old and surrogate to a few others, Ella is enjoying a life of watching the dreams she envisioned for her life unfold even if they did take the scenic route.  Her writing can also be found on mochamanual.com.

The post How To Survive: Oklahoma Tragedy Calls For Action appeared first on Good Enough Mother®.

Ask Rene:

My mom gets angry very easily. When I get bad grades and do other bad things, all I know is that she is ready to get angry. I’ve tried steering around this by lying, and it works, but I don’t feel this is a healthy relationship. Instead of encouraging me to do things, she gets mad at me for doing them wrong. 

And she often doesn’t listen to my ideas. I have been turned down on outfits I want to wear because “the colors clash” and other silly things. I just want to be myself.

Why won’t my mom support me?

Signed,

Troubled Teen (but not in that way)

Hey TT:

Oh bummer, I hate to hear this but maybe I can help, since I’ve been in both your shoes and her shoes. Let me start by telling you what I think might be going on. When we become mothers, the doctor hands us this little, helpless baby and something happens; we become fiercely protective and the love we thought we knew increases exponentially. In other words, our hearts expand larger than we ever thought possible. But once we get past that ooey-gooey feeling of love, we immediately think,

“OMG MY BABY COULD GET HURT OUT THERE!”

And that’s when the protective side kicks in; but sometimes it manifests itself in ways that doesn’t look like protection and instead, just looks mean or irrational. So let me see if I can clear things up. Here’s what I would do if I were you.

TALK TO YOUR MOM

Creative Commons/TownePost Network 

The next time you are wearing an outfit that your mom objects to, ask her why. Now listen to me: I do NOT mean in that snotty, “BUT WHY!!?” *insert huffing, puffing and non-stop eye-rolling here*. I mean in a respectful way, ask her why she doesn’t like it. She may explain it to you or she may just say, “Because I said so.” Accept her answer, even if it’s the one you don’t want to hear. Here’s a tip: if she says no, instead of asking WHY? right there,  revisit the question later, after everyone’s had a moment to think about it.  She might see your side if not in the immediate heat of the moment.

Read more:  10 From GEM: 10 Things To Do With (And For) Your Teenager

SHOW HER
YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE

Creative Commons/Toca Boca

One of the biggest things we as parents want to know is that our kids are learning because if they are learning that means they’re going to be able to take care of themselves and our jobs are done. Show her that you are capable of making good decisions. Start with little ones, like keeping your room clean and other chores around the house. Once she sees you can handle those things, she’ll probably be more prone to give you a little more responsibility, like decisions about your wardrobe. Oh, and one more thing? NO MORE LYING!  You want your mom to trust you? Then stop this right now.

Read more:  Monday Morning Motivation: Cell Phones, Careers And Short-Circuiting The Blame Game

COMPROMISE

You don’t mention how old you are, but clearly you’re pretty savvy. So why not take this opportunity to show your mom how much you’ve grown by handling this the way adults do. That means compromising. She might not let you wear the really short shorts but maybe you can agree on a pair that are cute and stylish but also cover you enough for her to be comfortable.

Read more:  To My Daughter: See, Hair’s The Thing..

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I think it will help if you remember this: your mom is not doing this to put the kibosh on yoru fun or individuality; she’s trying to protect you. She needs to know that you are mature enough to make good decisions. So show her that by the way you handle this.

Good luck!

Do you have a question for Rene? She has an answer. Click here and fire away. And don’t forget to follow the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.

More from GEM:

 Ask Rene: Help! I Have A Bad Reputation!

5 Conversations You MUST Have With Your Kid… Including THIS ONE! (VIDEO)

Our Story Begins: But Dad, Just LISTEN!

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