Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.~ St. Augustine.

Sometimes we feel in need of a miracle.

Doesn’t have to be a big one…a little one would be just fine, since there is no order of difficulty in them.

For some a miracle is an amazing experience that, in the grand scheme of things, seems impossible.

I’m particularly fond of Marianne Williamson’s definition:

A miracle is as simple as a shift in perception.

It sort of ties in with St. Augustine, doesn’t it?

No outside force at work, no angels with trumpets raising us out of any misery we’re currently experiencing.  Just a shift in perception.  We can do that can’t we?

And as with miracles, the shifts don’t have to be huge, earth shattering, bear hugging shifts…subtle shifts can create radical change.

We need a little miracle to change our misery of don’t have, can’t do, can’t change, because we get locked into our misery thinking and attract more thoughts and things to feel miserable about.  Whoever said misery loves company definitely got that right.

Here are three simple steps to help shift from misery to miracles, be willing, let go, and aim high.

The energy that makes it happen

Being willing is an amazing energy that opens the floodgates to the whole power of the Universe, bringing with it teachers and resources or whatever we need to guide us on our new our path.  And being willing is a wonderful relief.  Take a minute and feel it now.

Be willing and breathe and relax.

Feels good…I know because I just did it.

Simple affirmations work well and are part of the reprogramming of our current experiences that have led to whatever is making us miserable. Here are some you may like to try

I am willing to shift my perspective.

I am willing to love more.

I am willing to see miracles all around me.

What to let go of

Be willing to let go of the old in order to experience the new. Let go of old beliefs that no longer serve you, beliefs you hold on to as though they were the crown jewels.  Let go of old behaviour, old reactions, old ways of viewing the world.

As we let go we are moving back into the place of who we are, the original unconditioned spiritual us.  I could ask you to define yourself and you might say, I am a man or a woman, I am a parent, I am lost, I am unhappy, I am joyful, I am fat, I am thin, I am rich, I am beautiful.

But these are just ways in which you’ve conditioned your being.  You might very well see yourself as all these things, but beneath it all is YOU.  The real you. The magnificent creator of your dreams, the higher you.  And we all get to replace our old, outdated conditioning with something new and more in keeping with the true being that we are.

How to aim high

It doesn’t take any more effort to aim high, to demand abundance and joy and peace and yes, miracles, than is needed to accept misery and poverty of all things. Tune into a higher way of thinking.

You have a partner always willing and available to you:

Your subconscious mind.

Enlist it’s aid because it will work tirelessly on your behalf night and day.  It never sleeps.  Never rests.  We can imprint on our subconscious mind whatever beliefs we choose through the repetition of thoughts connected to feelings.

Have an aim of the day to focus on…it might be a good thing to begin with affirming that your subconscious mind is your partner in your success.

Or your aim might be I am super successful in everything I do.  My friend Susan uses that one and she’s one happy girl, so it definitely works.

One of my own faves is today I get great news and happy outcomes.  And at the end of the day I get to count up how many I had.  Trust me, it’s fun.

Then begin to listen to that quiet inner voice as it brings you new ideas, new concepts and inspiration.

And don’t forget to follow them.

Shift Your Thinking

We all need practices to help shift our energy and move from misery to miracles.  If we don’t shift our energy we can pretty well predict our results.

Imagine you’re tuned into a radio station and you really don’t like it.  It’s filled with music or talk that just isn’t your cup of tea.  What do you do?  Stick with it and complain how awful it is?  I don’t think so.  You’re going to change that station in a heartbeat.

That’s what we need to do with the misery station.  No point in complaining about what’s going on, let’s get that station switched.

Maybe a Meditation practice would work for you.  I like it.  Especially since I’ve heard that those who meditate can access higher thinking and come up with ideas not often available to those who don’t meditate.

Sounds good to me.

So are you ready to take that first tiny shift from misery to miracles?

Are you ready to see miracles?  What are you willing to let go of? Please share in the comments; your comment could make all the difference to someone else.

About the author:

Elle Sommer is the founder of Reflecting A Life, where  she shares actionable wisdom that points the way towards living a richer life in relationships, finances and spirit. Elle’s mission is to motivate and encourage everyone to create the life they want.

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

If you are looking for it, wisdom can come from the most unlikely places. Even really goofy, border-line stupid places.

Sure, to satisfy your craving for wisdom you could consult ancient texts, visit a Tibetan monastery, or even consume large amounts of Chinese food simply to get to the coveted fortune inside those little brown cookies.

You could do those things… but why go to all that trouble when wisdom is literally everywhere?

 A Day of Scripted Lethargy Gone Awry

Recently, I was taking what I call a brain day. That is a day when I literally and intentionally do nothing and let my brain rest.

Between my hectic traveling job, my family, and growing my blog, things can get a bit crazy at times. I’m sure your life is no different.

I chose to spend two hours of my last brain day watching an old favorite – Tommy Boy.

If you haven’t heard of Tommy Boy… well, I am honored to have the opportunity to familiarize you with this American comedy classic.

Highly regarded (even by me, up to that point) as a mindless, goofy “buddy film”, Tommy Boy had some surprises in store for me that day.

Wisdom From The Most Unlikely Places

As I settled back on my couch to enjoy the mindlessness of one of my old favorites, I noticed something odd. The shallow lines I’d heard so many times before were suddenly evoking deeper thoughts.

I’m not sure what caused my new perspective that day, but even the silliest of scenes had me reflecting on deeper life lessons. I was involuntarily learning. From Tommy Boy, no less.

I’m not here to tell you that Tommy Boy should rank among the teachings of Christ, Mohammed or the Dalai Lama. Heck, I’m not even telling you it should rank up there with the teachings of your high school guidance counselor or your weird uncle.

What I am saying (seriously) is that wisdom is all around us every minute of every day. And if we just pay attention, valuable lessons are available to us whenever we need them.

Consulting The Not-So Ancient Books of Slapstickery

To illustrate my point, here are 7 quotes from the comedy Tommy Boy, each one offering a pearl of wisdom, if you make a little effort to peer below the surface.

[Quote #1]
Richard (as he hands Tommy a technical manual):
“It’s called reading. Top to bottom, left to right. A group of words together is a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches. Midol for any cramps.”

[Pearl of Wisdom #1]
You’re not helpless, so it’s time to stand tall and do something for yourself. You’re not as weak or fragile as you think. If you believe (or pretend) that you are, you’re doing yourself and the world a disservice. No one is going to babysit you all the way from here to significance. You have the capacity to stand on your own.

[Quote #2]
Tommy:
“You know, a lot of people go to college for 7 years.”

Richard:
“I know. They’re called doctors.”

[Pearl of Wisdom #2]
If you performed unspectacularly at something in the past, don’t try to make it sound better than it was. Some of the best lessons we will ever learn come from our past mistakes. But in order to learn from our mistakes, we have to first admit to them.

Besides the educational benefit of mistakes, there is something therapeutic about looking your most incredible blunders straight in the eye – and then shaking them off. It’s a feeling of power and accomplishment. It’s also a quality that others notice and respect a great deal.

[Quote #3]
Big Tom Callahan:
“I can get a hell of a good look at a T-Bone steak by sticking my head up a bull’s a**, but I’d rather take the butcher’s word for it.”

[Pearl of Wisdom #3]
Sometimes it’s just much, much smarter to ask for help and call in an expert. Some jobs are too complex, others are too time consuming, and yet others are simply too unpleasant to take on yourself. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak. Sometimes it just means you’re smart enough to know when you’re in over your head. No pun intended. Ick!

[Quote #4]
Zalinsky:
“What the American public doesn’t know is what makes them the American public.”

[Pearl of Wisdom #4]
Keep yourself educated and informed. Whole countries and civilizations have been overthrown because individual people allowed themselves to become comfortable and ignorant. That may sound dramatic, but it’s true. Be aware, be a perpetual student, and refuse to be anyone’s sucker.

[Quote #5]
Richard:
“Of course I understand what ‘no’ means, but if I took ‘no’ for an answer, I’d wind up on a street corner selling spicy hot dogs and wearing a funny hat right?”

[Pearl of Wisdom #5]
Fortitude, fortitude, fortitude. The ability to stay on your path when things get rough is one of the best qualities you can develop in yourself. So many people quit way too soon. The sad thing is that they often wind up quitting just when they were about to have a breakthrough.

When you encounter massive resistance, consider that it might very well mean that you’re very close to achieving something great. The hardest part of any race is the push at the end. The most grueling part of childbirth is also at the end. But consider the value of the reward after the pain is over. Press on.

[Quote #6]
Big Tom Callahan:
“Any business that tries to ‘wait it out’ will be just that… out! In auto parts, you’re either growing or you’re dying. There ain’t no third direction.”

[Pearl of Wisdom #6]
The truth is that once you’ve lost the drive to grow and evolve, you’re looking at the beginning of the end.

When you reach a goal you’ve set for yourself, take a moment to enjoy your victory – but whatever you do, don’t stop and get comfortable. Set a new goal that will keep you motivated and moving forward. Keep growing and evolving.

[Quote #7]
Tommy:
“Brothers don’t shake hands. Brothers gotta hug!”

[Pearl of Wisdom #7]
Never miss an opportunity to express appreciation or gratitude. When life gets busy, we tend to deal with problems and obstacles first. We often don’t take the time to acknowledge what is going right. It’s all too easy to think that you’ll say “thank you” or “I appreciate you” tomorrow, when there’s more time. You don’t have an infinite amount of tomorrows coming to you, so do it now. Wear your gratitude on your sleeve.

But Seriously, Folks…

While this post is clearly a light-hearted look at personal development, I’m also making a serious point here. If you really want to improve yourself and your life, you don’t necessarily need a gigantic personal epiphany to get the job done. Wisdom is everywhere.

Open your eyes. Look for learning opportunities in everything that crosses your path. If you’re open to learning, you’ll find teachers literally everywhere you look. Even in the most unlikely places.

What about you? Tell us about the important lessons you’ve learned from unlikely places in the comments section.

Gary Korisko writes at Reboot Authentic about human-based success, market creation, and content marketing. Download Gary’s free eBook, How To Alienate All The Right People — a real-world guide to breaking away from the herd and doing something special.

Image courtesy of Bigstockphoto:Wise Man

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

This morning I took advantage of warmth and sunshine to do some early spring cleanup in my front lawn.

A few dried-out clumps of tall ornamental grasses should have been cut back in the fall, and their long stalks have been blowing around the neighborhood all winter.

It was time to take care of business.

I raked and picked up in my neighbor’s yard first, all the while hoping they wouldn’t come home.

The relationship has been strained. I don’t know what’s going on, but their attitude towards me has gone into negative territory, and for my own peace of mind I’ve kept a polite distance.

I’ve felt a little hurt and annoyed, but that doesn’t mean it’s OK for my ornamental grasses to be scattered like hay all over their lawn.

A small part of me didn’t feel like doing them any favors. But this wasn’t a favor—it was a responsibility. The dried-out grass stalks were mine, ergo it was my responsibility to clean it up.

Very simple. Cut and dried.

I hope we’ll be friendly once again, but meanwhile I might as well keep things as peaceful as possible.

Following my moral compass is a big help.

I often depend on it.

A few years ago, a different neighbor expressed surprise and gratitude that I didn’t respond angrily when he complained about my bamboo popping up in his yard.

Why should I be angry? I’d been meaning to install a barrier to keep the invasive roots of my little bamboo stand from spreading, but I was too late. It was my responsibility.

Again, cut and dried. I dug up the roots, smoothed out the soil, and replanted grass in the neighbor’s yard. I also installed the root barrier on my side. Easy-peasy.

I keep my compass close wherever I go, even while driving.

My compass says it’s not OK to yell at people or curse at them; instead, I want to be compassionate. This keeps me in line when someone lays on the horn and flips a finger at me for tardiness after the light turns green.

This doesn’t mean I don’t feel like giving someone a earful sometimes, or that I haven’t ever. Far from it. But it’s not worth the aggravation.

Knowing my ground rules keeps a lot of peace in my life even during stressful times.

I admit it’s hard to keep the compass pointing due north when a situation involves someone close to me, someone who can hurt me far deeper than any neighbor ever could.

But even though I don’t always follow it perfectly, my moral compass stops me from going down a path to nowhere—doing or saying something I’d truly regret.

And it also protects me from others who aren’t following the same kind of compass that I follow.

Do you carry a moral compass?

I don’t mean a list of rules and regulations based on religion, traditional morality, or rules your parents instilled in you that you follow blindly, though many of those guidelines are great.

I mean a custom-designed, uniquely-your-own, tailored-to-fit moral compass that you lean on when the going gets tough.

Some of the direction points on my compass look like this:

• Respect others no matter who they are and expect the same from them
• Be helpful to others and to ask for help when I need it
• Honor promises and obligations, and apologize when I can’t do so
• Stick with honesty and expect the same from others
• Acknowledge, validate or say thanks – whether in person or online
• Assume goodness in others and know they’re doing their best
• Remove myself when someone’s best isn’t in my best interest

I have many more such guidelines in different categories—public life, friends, close relationships—but you get the idea. I don’t always live up to them as well as I might, but if I’m lost, I know how to find my way again.

Here are five crucial reasons to carry a moral compass at all times.

1. A moral compass provides guidelines in tricky situations.

Let’s say you’re on a second or third date with someone you hardly know. He’s pushy in a way that’s uncomfortable. Or she’s getting a little too physical way too soon for you. You want to slow things down tactfully, but how? Your moral compass gives you the confidence to say “I really want to know you better first” before things get out of hand.

2. A moral compass can make up for shortcomings.

Maybe you’re traveling and get lost in a small town where you don’t speak the language—and nobody speaks yours. What do you do? Rely on courtesy, humility and respect to ask for help and get you back on a well-traveled road. Gestures and drawing pictures helps too, but more people want to help someone who’s pleasant than someone who isn’t.

3. A moral compass can keep love alive.

In any close relationship, conflicts happen. Lovers get hurt, partners get frustrated, children get angry. Deciding on ‘the right thing’ to do, no matter how difficult, can mean the difference between a screaming, cursing, blaming session or weeks of silence, and a conflict resolved in a way that works for everyone. Of course, you might first need to figure out what the ‘right thing’ is.

4. A moral compass can protect you.

My moral compass says it’s not OK to be rude to me, lie to me, speak disrespectfully to me, or treat me poorly in any way, especially not as a pattern or without explanation or discussion. This is often called setting boundaries, and it gives me the confidence to move forward in a situation or to step back—or even out.

5. A moral compass can help your business flourish.

Morality in business? Sure. Whether it’s called business ethics or a moral compass, what company can survive with unfriendly, unhelpful customer service? How long do employees last, assuming they have a choice, if management belittles them, treats them unfairly, or makes unethical decisions? I’ve heard Steve Jobs was near impossible to work with, but surely the rewards offset the difficulties.

Back to the neighbors and my errant grass stalks turning their lawn into a hay field.

Maybe they didn’t notice. Or didn’t care. It doesn’t matter. I know I’m doing my small part in being a good neighbor.

Doing the ‘right thing’ never hurts, and it might help.

But if I didn’t keep my moral compass in my pocket, I might say, “Oh, to heck with it. They’ve been rude to me, so why should I be nice to them?”

But why feed the flames?

I like my neighborhood, and though it’s not always Pleasantville, my moral compass keeps it from becoming Nastyville. At least on my side of the street.

What about you? Do you carry a moral compass? How does it help you? Share your experience in the comments.

Leah McClellan is a writer and copyeditor dedicated to peaceful living and helping other writers develop their craft. Stop by her new blog, Simple Writing, and be sure to sign up for her free 6-week mini writing course.

Image courtesy of Bigstockphoto:Woman holding compass

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. - Ovid

Do you feel exhausted when you get home from work?

Do you go about your day feeling numb and as though you’re just going through the motions?

When you get right down to it, do you feel ineffective and maybe even helpless?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you might wonder what’s wrong with you. But it may be something you haven’t even thought about: burnout.

Did you know that burnout can occur just about anywhere in our lives, not just at work?

Here are three aspects of burnout according to leading researcher Christina Maslach:

1. Exhaustion.

I’m an avid crossworder and when the clue is “exhausted”, the answer inevitably is “used up.” That’s what exhaustion feels like – being used up. It describes both physical and emotional depletion.

2. Depersonalization.

We use this technique to try and put distance between ourselves and whatever is causing our stress. So, if you work with customers or clients in your job, you might find yourself ignoring the unique qualities of each person and thinking of them as just a number to be served or a case to be managed.

Likewise, if you are burning out in other areas of your life such as family, friends, or other groups you are a part of, you might find yourself becoming cynical or indifferent when around those people.

3. Inefficacy.

This refers to a reduced sense of personal accomplishment.

It can feel like any or all of these things:

• You’re not getting things done no matter how hard you try.
• You just don’t have the time and resources available to complete the tasks you are expected to do.
• You rarely get any positive feedback for what you are doing.

So, this is a pretty nasty trio: Feeling used up, cynical, and ineffective/unappreciated.

You may have had a job where you experienced this, but I’m sure you can also see where burnout can occur in other spheres, too.

Maybe you feel like you have to be the perfect mom or a superdad.

Maybe you’re under pressure from high expectations to get excellent grades in school or university.

Or maybe you have a chronic illness and are tired of putting up a “brave front” so that the people around you don’t get discouraged.

Whatever the situation, burnout is a bad place to be so let’s look at some ideas to keep burnout away in the first place as well as some ideas what to do if you’re in the midst of it.

1. Pay attention to yourself.

It’s easy to get so caught up in the world and what needs to be done in it that you end up being alienated from your own experience. To get more in tune with yourself, ask:

• How does my body feel? Am I tired? Do I have enough energy?
• How am I feeling emotionally? Am I getting cynical? Am I being snarky with others?
• Am I overwhelmed? Do I feel like things are piling up to the degree that I’ll never be able to catch up? Do I feel appreciated for what I do?

2. Ask yourself if it’s worth it.

Is what you are doing worth the physical and emotional drain on your body and mind?

When it comes to a job, sometimes we don’t have much choice, but if you are feeling burned out in other areas of your life, does it really matter so much that it’s worth harming yourself emotionally and physically?

Maybe it’s time to let go of people in your life who bring you more stress than support.

3. What if you didn’t . . .?

What would happen if you didn’t do whatever it is that is stressing you out?

Would the sky fall in if you didn’t make the Easter dinner this year, didn’t volunteer at your son’s school for a few weeks or months, didn’t pack every hour of the work day with clients? If you took a day off to read a book or watch movies all day, would you really get that far behind?

4. Be assertive.

Yes, I’m sure you sensed this one was coming: Just say no.

It’s okay. You can do this!

When Junior’s teacher asks you to be the parent monitor at his class’s monthly birthday party (for the umpteenth time because she knows you’ll say yes), say, “I’m glad to bring cookies for the party, but I can’t be the monitor.” That’s it. No need for an excuse. Just “I can’t.”

At work, it’s not a particularly good idea to say “no” or “I can’t”; instead, you may want to sit down with your boss and express your concerns about your work load or unreasonable expectations you feel from management.

Talk to him about your symptoms of burnout – exhaustion, cynicism, and/or feeling ineffective and helpless.

5. Don’t ‘should’ on yourself.

Please don’t allow burnout to happen to you because of ‘shoulds.’

“I should be able to handle this.”

“I shouldn’t feel this way.”

Who said?

Try not to put any more pressure on yourself than you already feel. Trust your own experience with your body, your feelings, and your mind.

When those things combine to say “enough is enough,” it probably is.

What is your experience with burnout? Please share in the comments.

Psychotherapist Bobbi Emel helps you bounce back from the significant challenges in life. Download her FREE e-book, Bounce Back! 5 keys to survive and thrive through life’s ups and downs. You can also follow her on Facebook for more cool stuff.

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. ― William Shakespeare

If it wasn’t for friends, I would have never survived some of the most difficult moments in my life.

When I was going through one of the most challenging and painful events in my life after a divorce, it was friends old and new that came to the rescue and saved not only the day but my sanity!

Friends were there to give me advice and a perspective on my life. Friends were there for strength and courage. They were also there for laughter and encouragement. I now realize that friendship is tested during life’s tough moments and become strengthened when facing and overcoming adversity.

While I am not seeking more problems in my life merely for the sake of nurturing friendships, I’ve found that we can always deepen and strengthen our relationships with others.

Here are ten ways to encourage stronger relationship with your friends:

1. Be more conscious of your friendships

Sometimes we are so busy with life and family that we forget that we have friends. We need to be aware that the friends in our lives won’t be there forever. Although they may be “just” a neighbor or classmate today, it doesn’t mean they will be tomorrow. Be aware that the people you spend time with as friends is the first step in building stronger relationships.

2. Don’t take friendships for granted

Don’t forget that friendship is a choice, not an obligation. If you don’t value your friendships, they’ll eventually disappear.

In today’s hectic world, we are constantly on the go. If we ignore our friendships, they drift away until one day we wonder what happened to the people who were so important in our lives.

3. See how you can help a friend in trouble.

There’s no better time to be a great friend than in times of hardship and trouble.

You don’t have to solve the problem but you can be a shoulder to lean on, someone to share a meal with or help with an errand.

Often, friends who are experiencing hardship don’t reach out for fear of imposing on others. I was fortunate that many of my friends made the effort to reach out to me and ask how they could help.

4. Find ways to make their lives better

You don’t have to reach out to friends only during times of hardship. Find ways to add value to their lives. If they’re busy with a project and could use some babysitting time, offer to help. If they work long hours, drop off or pick up their children, run errands or surprise them with a home-cooked meal.

Find ways to help your friends and they will be truly grateful but even more appreciative of your thoughtfulness.

5. Spend time with friends

This may seem like a no-brainer but when was the last time you spent some quality time with your friends?

Again, this goes backs to taking friendships for granted in our lives.

Understandably, the demands of work or family consume most our time. Our daily lives may be an endless to-do list but it is always possible to set time aside for friends. Block off time or day of the week for friend time!

6. Communicate with them regularly

In addition to not allocating enough time to spend with friends, lack of communication also affects your friendships.

In a world where technology makes it so easy to communicate, reaching out to a friend nowadays requires only a quick text message, brief email, phone call or visit.

Be proactive in keeping in touch even it’s just to say hello and see how they’re doing.

7. Encourage their dreams.

When friends are lost, confused or seek your advice, listen and help guide them. Many people in life are quick to shoot down someone’s dream or passion, but without goals or dreams our lives become a meaningless existence.

Share your passion to inspire others and see what a difference it makes to your life and theirs. If you’re seeking to strengthen a friendship, try to provide valuable and constructive advice.

Even if you think your friend’s ideas are a little out there, help them navigate the pros and cons of their dream without shooting it down.

8. Make friendship a priority

We spend time on the relationships that matter to us. Never having enough time is not an excuse. When you say you don’t have enough time, what it really means is that you don’t have enough time for friendship.

We are burdened with often too much in our lives but if friendship is important to you, make it a priority. When you make friendship a priority, you empower yourself to say no to other less important things in your life and elevate the value of friends in your life. Always remember that jobs, issues and problems come and go. It’s always friendships that transcend the routine of daily life.

9. Overlook their shortcomings

Friends might upset you or anger you because of their characteristics, mannerisms or behavior. If they are a good long-term friend and you value the relationship, overlook their shortcomings.

Regardless of race, color or creed, people are people. We all have our positive and negative qualities.

As difficult as it may be sometimes to overlook an annoying or unpleasant shortcoming, learn to accept it for the sake of your long-term friendship with the person you value.

10. Limit expectations

Many times when friends anger or upset us, it is usually because of unrealistic expectations.

We expect friends to thank us for kind gestures, to call us on our birthdays or remember our important events. In the real world, however, friends make mistakes and don’t always do what you think they should.

The easiest way to ruin a friendship is to allow this kind of attitude to get out of hand. Stop expecting people to behave the way you expect. In fact, reducing expectations or demands of friends will reduce potential disappointment in them.

Good friends are hard to come by so value the friendships you do have and they will last you a lifetime.

What have you done to maintain your friendships? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

About the author
Vishnu writes about career, life and spirituality tips for his community of world-changers. For inspiration, sign up to receive weekly posts at vishnusvirtues.com

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

Life is full of surprises. Not all of them pleasant.

When you hit an obstacle in life, how do you respond?

Yes, you who are reading these words: How to you respond?

Do you give up? Or do you fight to overcome the obstacle?

Or are you able to draw inspiration from the obstacle life has put in your way? Sounds impossible, doesn’t it.

Imagine this …

Amy Purdy was just 19 years old, gorgeous, a passionate snowboarder, ready to travel the world.

Then, one day, everything changed.

Amy contracted bacterial meningitis, fell into a coma and finally lost both her legs. After she left the hospital, Amy fell into a deep depression. But then something amazing happened that changed her life completely: she found a way to draw inspiration from the catastrophic event.

Her story is one of the most inspiring accounts I’ve ever encountered. If you want an instant lift of spirits and want to know how you too could draw inspiration from life’s obstacles, please watch the video below.

[If you are reading this by email, click on the headline above to watch the video on Goodlife ZEN]

What’s your response to the video? Please share in the comments.

About the author:

Mary Jaksch is the blogger behind Goodlife ZEN. If you haven’t already got it, download the free chapter of her inspiring book, Start Over: Create the Life You Want. Just fill out the form below or in the sidebar to get it right away.

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

Do you find yourself frustrated that you’re not further along than you are at the end of the day – or the week – or the month – or even so far in your life?

Have you set amazing goals for yourself that just never came to fruition?

When you fall short of a goal that is important to you, it weighs heavy on you like a big, wet blanket, doesn’t it? You feel like you let yourself down.

It’s important to realize that we’ve all been there at one time or another. You’re not the only one who feels this way and it certainly doesn’t make you a failure.

What if I told you that the problem isn’t necessarily you, your ability, or your performance?

It’s a Matter of Perspective

The real problem could very well be your perspective.

You see, most of us set ourselves up for this feeling of failure by the way we set and pursue goals.

Something about the modern psyche has us all believing that we need to conquer the world and surpass even our most ambitious goals in one fell swoop. And that, frankly, is crazy talk.

As the achievement-driven species that we are, we are notoriously bad at goal perspective. Let me explain.

Let’s say my goal is to lose 70 pounds. While that is a completely attainable and admirable goal – thinking that I could pull it off easily, or without sacrifice, or in a month is…

Anyone?

Right! More crazy talk.

For whatever reason, we tend to focus on our goals with long-term vision but short-term expectations.

So we wind up subconsciously anticipating long-term level results right now. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, doesn’t it? If nothing else, it’s a great way to set yourself up for failure and all the negative emotions that accompany it.

Make It Micro

One way of keeping yourself from falling into that trap is to begin picturing your big, ultimate goal as a backdrop while you operate from a what I call a micro perspective. It makes progress feel more achievable and the ultimate goal look less overwhelming.

A micro perspective (small or close up perspective) means that while you are ultimately striving for something bigger way out there on the horizon, you keep most of your focus on the smaller details that are presently in front of you.

Here are five tips that I have found useful in developing a micro perspective.

1: Banish Impatience
I’m not going to snow you. This is a tough one. Realize that your goals are something significant. And just like anything else in the natural world, significant doesn’t move quickly – even if you’re standing next to it yelling, “NOW, NOW, NOW!” You can’t make a tree or a mountain or even a person come to maturity by being impatient. Your goals are no different. Realize that they need time to become significant.

2: “Chunk” It
One of my heroes, Zig Zigalr, lost 37 pounds in the 1970’s and kept it off for the rest of his life by chunking it. (My words, not his) Zig figured out that by making very modest changes in his lifestyle he could lose all his extra weight by losing 1.5 ounces (or some such tiny number) each day over the course of two years. The point is – if you pay attention to the little things, you can achieve huge feats in little tiny chunks. Look at your goals in terms of tiny little chunks and they become much easier to conquer.  Zig made his weight loss goal sustainable by focusing on that one tiny detail of 1.5 ounces each day.

3: Separate Long And Short Term Goals
Once you set your ambitious, lofty goal – take some time to set smaller, related goals. What if your goal was to run a marathon and you’ve never run before? That’s going to take some time to achieve. So set various smaller goals so you can see the progress along the way. Maybe you could say, “Tomorrow, I’m going to run an extra half mile.” Or maybe, “Within two weeks I will run 2 miles without walking.” Set and re-set new smaller goals as you progress – and appreciate the fact that they are slowly but surely carrying you toward the attainment of your ultimate goal.

4: Celebrate Your Wins.
You need to appreciate the ride between here and there. So when you achieve those smaller goals, make sure you give yourself a pat on the back and celebrate the win. Remember that small wins are still wins. Give yourself some credit and then keep moving forward.

Feel The Momentum
This one is a bonus – meaning it’s a natural byproduct of the other tips. I list it because as it begins to happen, you should be aware of it and appreciate the process. When you take little chunks out of your goal and set smaller attainable goals along the way – something really cool starts to happen. You create momentum. When you see all those little things going right, you can literally feel yourself being pulled in a positive direction. (For more on creating momentum and forming a new perspective on achievement, here is a Free Gift I would like to offer to Goodlife Zen readers with my compliments.)

5: Slow Down And Appreciate Your Progress
Even when you’re not as far along the path as you hoped, the important thing is that you are moving down the path. Take the time to pause and look back from your current perspective and appreciate where you started from. It’s like looking back down a big hill halfway through a long, strenuous hike. While you know you aren’t yet finished, looking back gives you a sense of pride in how far you have come.

Enjoy The Ride

Achieving great things doesn’t have to be stressful. Don’t let the fact that you have big, significant goals hold you back from pursuing your ambitions. Savor the trip and remember…

It’s not all about crossing things off a list. It’s also about enjoying the ride and growing as a person.

So What About You?
Do you sometimes get overwhelmed by long-term goals?
How do you tackle big projects or goals?

Share your views in the comments!

Gary Korisko (@RebootAuthentic) writes about business strategy, content marketing, and integrity selling on his blog Reboot Authentic. He is also giving away FREE Airfare within the Continental USA for one lucky reader to get something amazing done for their business. 

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

How do you feel when you wake up every morning?

Are you tired, longing for another hour of sleep, or are you energized and excited for the new day’s possibilities?

The attitude you possess when you start the day affects you much more than any cup of coffee ever will.

Take a moment to think back to when you were a little kid. You weren’t excited to get up and go to school Monday morning, so it was hard to get out of bed regardless of how much sleep you got the night before.

But on Christmas morning, it didn’t matter if you got eight hours of sleep (which is never the case) or one hour of sleep—you were up and ready to go with a huge smile on your face. You had a single, exciting thought planted in your brain—Open as many presents as I can get my hands on.

Somewhere along the way, though, we seem to lose that child-like Christmas morning enthusiasm that kept us up late and woke us up early. Wouldn’t you like to have it back, and not just on Christmas morning? What if that energy and enthusiasm could translate to an average day in your life?

It can.

The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day. – Henry Ward Beecher

By starting the each morning focused, the overarching vision you have for your life will become much clearer, real, and achievable. Here are four things you can do every morning to get your day started off on the right foot.

1. Start with Gratitude

No day is guaranteed. Every new day you are given the opportunity to start is a gift. When you view it that way, more chances, opportunities, and unexpected privileges present themselves.

 When you start your day with gratitude, you arm yourself against whatever negativity the next 24 hours might have in store for you. Problems will seem smaller, challenges will seem less difficult, and the good things will shine even brighter.

How do you go about creating this sense of gratitude?

Begin operating under the very real concept that this day could be your last. You will develop an intense sense of urgency and gratitude from your first waking moment. 

“Live this day as if it were your last” may be the oldest cliché in existence, but there’s a reason why—if you can make it part of your everyday mindset, your days will absolutely not be the same again.

That’s where most people get it wrong. They hear “live this day as if it were your last” and immediately begin making a mental list of all the actions they would begin taking. But it’s not about action. It’s not about going skydiving or blowing off your day job. It’s about mind-set. It is a way of thinking that keeps you focused on the things that truly matter in life and nothing else.

And it will keep your thoughts in a place of gratitude like nothing else can. 

2. Act the way you would like to feel.

If you don’t feel happy or energetic, start by simply acting like you do. William James, the father of modern psychology, has a quote I love: “We do not sing because we are happy; we are happy because we sing.”

Emotion follows action. It’s not the other way around.

Keep that quote in mind any time you wake up feeling grumpy, tired, or any other type of negative emotion. Jump up and down. Turn on music that you know puts you in a good mood. Smile. Laugh. They may feel forced at first, but the genuine ones are sure to follow.

3. Meditate on the things you know need to happen today.

Use these two questions to prioritize every task on your to-do list:

• What’s important now?
• What’s next?

These two questions will wake you up early, keep you up late, and allow you to stay focused on your top priorities and nothing else. Forget all the elaborate to-do list systems that are out there. These two little questions are all you need.

You will no longer waste time by sitting around wondering where you should start. Look at your list of tasks, address each item with these two questions, and then move forward on each one with massive action. 

4. Go to bed in the mood in which you would like to wake up.

The reality is that no one actually wakes up on the wrong side of the bed—we actually go to sleep on the wrong side of the bed. Your subconscious mind plays an enormous role in determining how you feel in the morning.

If you go to bed full of anger and negativity, you are probably not going to wake up in anything resembling a good mood. How do you combat this? By not only doing every previous item on this list when you wake up, but also right before bed.

Think about all you have to be grateful for, put yourself in a positive mental state, and start preparing a mental plan for the next day. Read or watch something positive and inspiring. The morning may be the rudder of the day, but night is the rudder of the morning.

“Never go to bed angry” may sound like something your mom or a marriage counselor would say, but there is tremendous truth behind that piece of advice.

When you start each day with focus, life and purpose become clearer. Precious time is no longer squandered on avoidable drag-you-down activities or tasks. Focus allows you to understand the value offered with each and every passing minute. Apply these four actions, or add them to your current routine, and you will be amazed by the results.

What are your tips on how to start the day? Please share in the comments.

About the author:
Robert D. Smith is the author of 20,000 Days and Counting, a crash course in living each day with maximum intensity and purpose. He blogs about personal growth, entrepreneurship, and more at TheRobertD.com.

 
Image: African Pygmy Hedgehog

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By Mary Jaksch

Do you think we could have world peace one day? It seems an impossible dream, doesn’t it?

Just look at today’s news: Shootings, bombings, wars, civil unrest – it just goes on and on, day after day, year after year.

But what if you could make the world a more peaceful place?

Yes, you!

I’m not talking about big-picture peace; the kind of peace politicians try to achieve. I’m talking about grassroots peace.

But first, let’s take up an important question:

Who is responsible for peace?

Whom do you hold responsible for peace: politicians, or the ‘system’?

Or is it the ‘others’?

Those who don’t have your kind of values, or who don’t believe what you believe in, or who come from a different background and don’t understand the way you live?

Who is responsible?

I bet you can guess who is responsible. It’s not the politicians, or the system, or the others who are responsible for peace.

You and I are responsible for peace.

Grassroots peace is what we each create in our little bubble of the world. Each bubble is linked to every other bubble. And our little bubble of peace can spread. It can spread right across the world.

Here are steps toward grassroots peace.

1. Let go of being right

Do you enjoy looking down from the ‘moral high ground’?  There is a kind of satisfaction about thinking that we are right and they are so, so wrong, isn’t there? Be honest now…

What would happen if we gave up on being ‘right’? What if we gave up on concepts, like ‘right’ and ‘wrong’?

Watch the video below to see what would happen.

2. Stop ‘us and them’ thinking

It’s so easy to slip into a thought-pattern of ‘us’ and ‘them’.  This estrangement is the root cause of much suffering in the world.

Just think of ridicule, bullying, and ostracism on one end of the scale of evil, and slavery and torture at the other end. It all starts with the thought of ‘us’ and ‘them’.

3. Let go of grudges

Do you hold a grudge? Maybe it’s time to let it go. Or do you want to hold onto it for longer?

Do you want to hold onto your grudge for another day, another week, another year, another decade, or even for the rest of your life?

Grudges eat away at the soul and poison relationships.

The good news is that you can let them go. All you need to do is to notice each time a grudge and its poisonous story arises in the mind. Then say to yourself with compassion, “I let go of that story,” and bend your mind toward something else.

The gift of peace

If you take up these three steps toward peace, your heart will become more peaceful, you will smile more and others will enjoy your company.

They will enjoy your company not because you are smart, or interesting, or beautiful, or successful. They will enjoy your company because you offer the gift of peace.

What do you think? How can bring about peace? Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comments.

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few. – Zen Master Shunryo Suzuki

What would you rather be, a beginner or an expert?

The answer seems clear, doesn’t it? Most people would choose to be an expert, and not a beginner.

In fact, many people hate being a noobie, rookie, greenhorn novice, or tenderfoot – or whatever derogatory words we use for beginners.

However, there’s an advantage to being a beginner. As a beginner we have no expectations, no fixed view of ourselves. We are open and receptive.

This is Beginner’s Mind. It’s a Zen state of mind.

What if we approached everything we did with this mind?

What would life be like?

Let’s take a look at eleven aspects of Beginner’s Mind and see how they can transform your life:

1. Take one step at a time.

We tend to think in sequences. For example, when we go grocery shopping, our mind is on what we need to buy and where to shop. We’re likely to skip over all the little experiences on the way: locking the front door, seeing the neighbour standing at the window, rain splattering on the windscreen, the noise of traffic, and so on.

The same thing happens when we learn something new. We’re always looking towards what we’ll know or be able to do in the future, instead of focusing on the next step right now.

Take one step at a time without worrying about the journey.

2. Fall down seven times, get up eight times.

Yesterday a friend of mine brought her toddler to visit. The little girl, Stephanie, is just learning to walk. She would pull herself up, wobble along a few steps and then plop down on her bottom. She had a determined look on her face and got up again, over and over. When did you last learn something with such determination and such little obvious success?

Celebrate falling down as well as getting up: it’s all part of learning.

3. Use Don’t Know mind.

In martial arts, a don’t know mind is the wisdom of the warrior. Because we can easily get it wrong by prejudging a situation. When faced with a big opponent or a big challenge, we might assume that we will lose out. And when faced with an opponent who seems smaller or weaker, or a challenge that seems surmountable, we might assume that we will be on top. In both scenarios our judgment might be wrong.

Don’t know means keeping an open mind and responding according to circumstances, not according to how we assume things will be. It leaves room for intuition.

Let go of knowing – that’s real wisdom.

4. Live without shoulds.

I could write a whole book about how I should be, what I should have done and what I should be doing, couldn’t you? The world seems to be full of experts on my life who like to tell me what I should be doing. Living with Beginner’s Mind means letting go of shoulds. I’m not advocating living without our own moral standards. I think that most of our shoulds reflect other peoples’ ideas on what our life should look like. We can let go of them.

Shake off shoulds and own your life.

5. Make use of experience.

Beginner’s Mind is great, but it’s not so useful when crossing the road. You don’t want to be squashed flat by a car in the process of learning anew that you need to get out of the way! It’s always good to use our experience and native wisdom. That’s how we learn. Beginner’s Mind doesn’t mean negating experience; it means keeping an open mind on how to apply our experience to each new circumstance.

Use your native wisdom and experience.

6. Let go of being an expert.

We are all experts. Experts in our job, in raising children, in crossing the road, in signing our name. It’s difficult to let go of being an expert. Because it means confessing that we really know nothing. What we know belongs to the past. Whereas this moment now is new and offers its unique challenges. If I let go of being an expert, I can listen to others with an open mind. Then I can find that even a beginner has something to teach me.

Letting go of being an expert enables you to keep learning.

7. Experience the moment fully.

Have you ever taken a small kid to the movies for the first time? Everything is amazing for them. They stare at the bright lights in the foyer. They investigate each popcorn with great concentration. They stare at everyone sitting around them. They flinch when the music starts. They scramble on to your lap when the monster appears on screen. They laugh out loud when it’s funny. They live each moment.

Just imagine living like that! Most of the time we live in a daydream in which we think of the past, and dream of the future. Meanwhile life runs on without us. Without us being present, that is. We miss so much when we live in a daze. Beginner’s Mind allows us to take it all in. Then even ordinary things begin to shine.

Live life to the full – one moment at a time.

8. Disregard common sense.

‘Common sense’ is what the culture we live in regards as ‘normal’. If inventors like Da Vinci or Edison had stayed with a ‘common sense’ mindset, our life would be very different because their inventions changed the world. In an interview Thomas Edison said about energy:

“Some day some fellow will invent a way of concentrating and storing up sunshine as energy. I’ll do the trick myself if some one else doesn’t get at it.”

I bet you that Edison’s fellow citizen’s thought he was crazy. “Turn sunlight into energy – how absurd!” they would have said because his idea didn’t fit with the common sense of the time.

Release yourself from common sense and become creative.

10. Discard fear of failure.

When did you last start something new? Was it maybe a while back? As children we are always starting something new. Then, as we go through our twenties, thirties, and further, we become more hesitant about being a beginner again. Why? Maybe because we don’t want to look silly when we fail.

There are always plenty of people ready to snigger when we take the first wobbly steps. But it’s our choice whether to take notice or not.

Immerse yourself in your actions and forget the watchers.

11. Use the spirit of enquiry.

Beginner’s Mind is about using the spirit of enquiry – without getting stuck in preconceived ideas. There’s a Zen story about this:

A professor once visited a Japanese master to inquire about Zen. The master served tea. When the visitor’s cup was full, the master kept pouring. Tea spilled out of the cup and over the table.

“The cup is full!” said the professor. “No more will go in!”

“Like this cup,” said the master, “You are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

You can see how this story applies not only to learning about Zen, but to learning about anything at all. The spirit of enquiry is the mind that is open to the unknown, and empty of pre-conceived ideas.

Focus on questions, not on answers.

If you’ve read this far, you’ll have a sense of how precious Beginner’s Mind is. It can transform the way we experience life. It makes life exciting and fresh, and keeps us young and eager to learn.

However, there are some questions that are still unresolved in my mind. The main one is: what about goal setting? Doesn’t that clash with Beginner’s Mind? Goal setting is about imagining the future, and building one’s life around one’s hopes and expectations. Personally, I aspire to Beginner’s Mind, and I set goals. But it sometimes feels like a culture clash. What’s your sense of this?

Let’s have a conversation. What’s your experience of Beginner’s Mind? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

About the author:

Mary Jaksch is the blogger behind Goodlife ZEN and Writetodone.com. She  is an authorized Zen Master. This post is an update of her guest post originally published on Zenhabits.net.

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want