One of my favorite lines from the movie, The Count of Monte Cristo, is when Jacopo reminds the Count of the oath he took to protect him with the rest of his life.  In a dramatic moment he says, “I will protect you.  Even if it means I must protect you from yourself.” The point is clear – often we need to be saved from ourselves.  I was reminded of this as I watched a recent msnbc.com video about a mother who had decided to follow her own dreams even when it meant abandoning her husband and two small boys.  You can watch the video here:

Before we all go searching for this woman to give her a piece of our mind.  We need to be reminded of a few things.

You Need to be Saved from Yourself

All of us have an idea of what our lives should be like, whether its my six-year-old who says, “I hate doing school,” and wishes he could have a life spent playing all day long, or the 40-year-old husband who thinks life would be better with the woman from work because “she’s beautiful, likes me, and accepts me for who I am.”

There are moments every day when we are thinking and dreaming about plans for our lives that if they came true would ruin and destroy us.  Jesus Christ came to save us, not only from sin and death, but from ourselves.  As our Savior, Jesus is committed to protecting us, even if it means he has to protect us from ourselves.

God Wrote a Better Script than You Ever Could

The Gospel is the craziest story.  No one would ever have come up with a weak and suffering King who conquers sin and death and his arch enemy, Satan, by dying naked on a bloody Roman cross.  Yet God “chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God” (1 Cor. 27-29).

Not only is the Gospel so ironic and amazing, and nothing like we would have ever written, but the Gospel is significant because it reveals that we also have a personal narrative that was written which is far better than anything we could have ever devised ourselves.  God’s story of our transformation often involves hard roads, defeats, trials, humiliation, attack, and difficulty, but it is the greatest story that could ever be written because it brings us to the most glorious ending that we could ever experience.

Had our own story been allowed to unfold, we would have ended up as those who gain their life here but ultimately lose it (Mark 8:35).  God in his grace wrote a better script for our lives.  And through Christ, He’s made it a reality.  As believers, no matter what we are presently experiencing or not experiencing, there is nothing that could be better.

We often believe the lie that the story we’ve written for ourselves would bring the greatest happiness.  But remember, it’s a lie.  The Gospel ensures that God’s story for your life is the best because every day and in the end, the Gospel saves you from yourself.

Recently, I posed the question: are you a nurturing man?  The fact that men are to be nurturers is clear from the Bible.  The fact that manhood includes nurturing is most clearly pictured in the Gospel – in the way that Jesus Christ nurtures His own wife, the Church.  After concluding that a man is by nature designed to nurture, the question arises – how do I do that?  Here are seven ways that you can nurture your wife.

Ways to Daily Nurture Your Wife

You have been chosen by God to be the most influential person on this planet in the life of your wife.  Picture your wife as a flower.  You get to fertilize the soil around her, water her, feed her, bring sunshine into her life, and grow her up to become a beautiful and thriving woman.  If your wife is wilting or drowning in life, the first place you should look is in the mirror.  In my own marriage it becomes really clear when I’m failing to nurture.  Lately, I’ve felt a desire to grow in nurturing my wife in the following ways.

1.  GIVING – You can only nurture your wife with what you yourself have, and that’s not much!  So, you need to daily immerse yourself in the Gospel and saturate yourself with Christ.  As you are filled up to overflowing with all that Jesus provides, you will have an abundance to invest in your wife.  Jesus gave Himself up for the church (Eph. 5:25).  The Apostle Paul gave his life away to the Thessalonians (1 Thess. 2:8).  Give yourself and your life away to your wife.

2.  PRAYING – Spend time, a lot of time, praying for your wife.  Prayer is powerful, powerful to nurture and produce the growth that we long to see in our wives.  Don’t just pray for her but daily pray with her.  Hold her in your arms and pray passionate prayers on her behalf, thanking God for her, and lifting up her petitions in her presence.  When you leave for work and before you both go to sleep, begin and end your days with prayer.  When she calls you stressed out at home, pray with her over the phone.

3.  STUDYING – Enjoy studying with your wife.  Some of the best times I’ve had recently with my hunny have been reading the Bible or a good Christian book right before bed.  Grow in your love and understanding of God together by reading good things and discussing what your learning.  Don’t just study with your wife, but study your wife.  Learn her and be a student of what makes her unique.  Know her fears, her dreams, her joys, and her greatest needs.  Earn a Ph.D. in your wife.

4.  LISTENING – Your wife wants you to listen to her, not while your doing something else and not for the purpose of “fixing” her.  Take time each day to just sit undistracted and listen to your woman.  Draw her out with questions and then just listen as she bears her heart. Seek to understand what she’s feeling.  If you need duct tape and blinders then put them on before she starts talking!

5. CELEBRATING – When we have more than five sentences to say to our wives it’s often when they’ve messed up and we’re correcting them.  We need to spend time daily celebrating the grace of God that is evident in their lives.  Take time to tell your wife what she’s doing well.  Share with her ways you see her growing spiritually.  Daily communicate how much you love her and appreciate her.  Let your wife be her toughest critic.  You, be her greatest admirer.

6.  SERVING – Wives work hard and need breaks.  Our wives are constantly serving us.  Look for ways each day to do something special or helpful for her.  Whether it’s the dishes, grocery shopping, or just taking the kids out on a date so she can have a night at home all alone, get creative about blessing your woman.  When you’ve spent time serving her, then you can look for ways that you both can serve others together.  Don’t miss out on the fun that you both can have as you minister to others as a team.

7.  ENJOYING – Have fun with your wife.  Not just at “night” and not just the way you’d want to have fun.  Find the things that she enjoys and do them with her.  Find times to get away as a couple to just relax.  Whether it’s a hike in the mountains or a night on the town, make the things that she enjoys happen.

You Treat Jesus the Way You Treat Your Wife

When you’re tempted to let your wife just sit and wilt, remember, the way you treat your wife is the way you treat Jesus (Matt. 25:40).  But also, be inspired by the way Jesus treats His own wife, the Church.  Scripture says He “nourishes and cherishes” her (Eph. 5:29). Ultimately, the way you treat your wife should be motivated by your great love for Jesus and His unfathomable love for you!

Are there other ways that we can nurture our wives?

When you think of manhood and being a ‘manly’ man, what words and images come to mind? Perhaps it’s strong and fearless with warrior paint smeared across the face and a bloody sword in hand.  Maybe it’s tough and skilled wearing a beard, flannel shirt, and tools strapped to a belt.  But, the more important question is, where does our definition of manhood and being a man come from?  For many, it is often more informed by the culture than by divine revelation.

What it Means to Be a Man

As much as the culture longs to define what a man is, as believers we need to look to the Scriptures to give us our definition.  Starting at the beginning is usually a good idea.  That’s where Richard D. Phillips in his book, The Masculine Mandate, challenges the cultural status quo by taking us to Genesis.  He notes that Genesis 2:15 summarizes masculine behavior - “The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.”

By “working,” we are to “invest our time, our energies, our ideas, and our passions in bringing good things into being” (13).  In “keeping,” men are to “stand guard so that people and things are kept safe – so that the fruit of past cultivating and nurturing is preserved” (15).

As he unpacks the idea of “working,” which denotes cultivating, building and growing, Phillips notes:

“Of course, our “garden” includes not merely things but people… A man’s fingers should be accustomed to working in the soil of the human heart – the hearts of those he serves and loves – that he might accomplish some of the most valuable and important work of this life” (13-14).

I’m Supposed to be a Nurturer?

Here’s where it gets surprising for many men.  Phillips goes on to state:

“This biblical mandate to work – here with the emphasis on cultivating and tending – explodes a great misconception regarding gender roles.  We have been taught that women are the main nurturers, while men are to be “strong and silent.”  But the Bible calls men to be cultivators, and that includes a significant emphasis on tending the hearts of those given into our charge” (14).

“There is a reason why so many people are hung up over their relationship with their fathers: God has given the primary calling of emotional and spiritual nurture to men, and many of us fail to do it well” (14).

“Men who are seeking to live out the Masculine Mandate will be nurturers” (14).

Some will buck at this description of masculinity as nurturing.  For some, it will be because it seemingly contradicts the warrior or woodsman stereotypes they have in their minds.  But for most, it will be the fact that nurturing, in their minds, is equated with femininity that will rub them wrong.  We’ve been conditioned to believe that nurturing is a thing that only mommies and other women do.

The fact that women are nurturers and often excel at nurturing, does not mean that men have not been designed by God to do the same and, moreover, to be the primary nurturers in the home.

The Gospel Proclaims a God who Nurtures

For any man who might be struggling with a masculine concept of nurturing, I would point them to the God of the Gospel.  Men are called to nurture their wives in Ephesians 5:29, “just as Christ does the church.” It’s ultimately in Jesus Christ, and not in our wives where we should anchor our concept of masculine nurturing.

The word translated “nourish” in Ephesians 5:29 and “bring them up” in Ephesians 6:4 is the same Greek word, ektrepho, and means to nurture by raising to maturity.  It was used of plants and meant to cultivate them by feeding and tending to them.  This nourishing or bringing up that men are called to do with their wives and children is to be patterned after the nurturing that Christ daily pursues in us.

Jesus chose a bride who was filthy and defiled, blemished and wrinkled.  Then, as the perfect God-Man, He set Himself to relentlessly pursue loving us by nurturing us to breathtaking beauty.  It’s His nurturing – growing us spiritually – that sanctifies us and ultimately culminates in our stunning glorification.

As a man you’ve been given the honor of following in the footsteps of the most manly of all men, and you’ve been endowed with unique power to nurture those around you.

Be a man – a nurturing man.

John Starke of The Gospel Coalition has a very insightful article about whether or not parents should wait to baptize their young children who have already made a profession of faith in Jesus Christ.  This is a question that I, as a father and pastor,  am wrestling with right now.  My eight-year-old son has made such a profession of faith and he has expressed desire to be baptized.  What should I do?

Here’s Starke’s conclusion:

“Without reverting back to “easy-believism” Christianity, I believe the Bible gives us good reasons for parents to baptize their children upon observing a clear profession of faith in the gospel without a probationary period.”

You can also get the other side of the argument from Trevin Wax here.

These are just two recent articles and by no means the concluding word on either side.  But they remind us that as parents, this is a question we need to face head on and settle in our minds as best we can.  The key here as parents is to devote the necessary time on behalf of our children to do our homework and study of the Scriptures.  Our children are precious to us and even more precious to Jesus.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue.  If anyone has further resources on this topic that you think would be helpful to other parents, feel free to post them below.

(HT: Justin Taylor)

I’ve been enjoying listening to Tim Keller the last few days.  If you’re looking for some great teaching that will challenge your Gospel thinking, then let me recommend a series of 3 messages that were produced for The Gospel and The Heart Conference at Redeemer.  The first sermon, “Introduction; The Two Prodigals,” will cost you $2.50 but is well worth it – a must have.  The other two, “What is the Gospel?” and “How the Gospel Changes Us,” are free. Think of it as going to a 2-day conference for less than 5 bucks.

Tim Keller gets the Gospel.  He understands what salvation is all about.  In, “Introduction; The Two Prodigals,” he unpacks Luke 15 and what is perhaps the best known parable.  Many have sought to explain the meaning behind Jesus’ story, but Keller nails it!

Two Ways to be Lost

As Keller unpacks the parable he makes the point that, ”Jesus’ purpose in this parable is not to give us a sentimental message that somehow God will just accept us no matter what we do. He is here to say basically this, ‘Everything you’ve ever heard, everything you’ve ever thought about how to deal with or approach God is wrong’.”

Keller sees the two sons in Luke 15 as basically representing two different systems, two different approaches to God – the Moralistic Grid (older brother) and the Relativistic Grid (younger brother).  He states, “There are only two ways the world knows to deal with God and their both wrong.  Therefore, there are two ways to be lost; there are two kinds of lostness.”  He goes on to explain the differences and how they are both very far from a Gospel approach to God.  He notes:

“The Gospel is not religion or irreligion.  It’s not morality or immorality.  It’s a radically different approach.  The moralistic grid divides the world into the good people and the bad people.  The good are in and the bad are out.  And the relativistic grid divides the world into the open-minded people and the bigots.  The open-minded people are in and the bigots are out.  But the Gospel divides the world into the humble and the proud.  It says the humble are in and the proud are out.  The Gospel says, those who think they’re good are out and those who know they’re not are in. That is not something in the middle, that’s something utterly different.  And, there really is no ‘Other’ in a Gospel understanding of your identity.  Because, you see, no matter who you are, if you become a Christian out of younger brotherness or if you become a Christian out of older brotherness, you begin to see, ‘I was lost’.”

I love how Keller understands the Gospel.  He states:

“The Gospel is so different than the moralistic grid and the relativistic grid because the main thing between you and God is not your sins, it’s your damnable good works.”

“Pharisees repent of their sins; what makes you a Christian is you repent of your righteousness.  You’re willing to see your pride.”

Signs of older brother-ness or being older brother-ish

Here’s where it can hit home for many believers.  Keller states, “There are a lot of people in the church who actually are elder brothers and they think they’re Christians.”  Are you an older brother type?  Were you saved out of legalism and morality?  Do you still struggle with performing for God in order to appease him or please him?  Here are some signs that you may be an older brother or still struggle with being older brother-ish.

1.  Filled with Anger about How God is Dealing with Your Life – Keller says, “One of the signs of a moralistic spirit is the feeling that God owes you because you have lived such good life, because you have tried so hard.”  You expect, because of your good deeds and moral superiority, that God will give you what you ‘deserve’ or have ‘earned’.

2.  Joyless, Mechanical Obedience – Keller notes, “Obedience in the long run for an elder brother is a grind.  This is the reason why some of the most moral and spiritual looking people for years and years and years can all of a sudden just freak, can just sort of blow it, just explode and suddenly go and do something completely different, and everybody says, ‘What happened?’.”  There is also a frequent lack of prayer, except when you need something.  God becomes a tool to get what you want.

3.  Coldness to Younger Brother Types – You disdain ‘others’ who are different than you are, especially those who show no signs of morality. “Elder brothers look at people who don’t believe and say, ‘It will be a miracle if that person becomes a Christian.’  Oh and you weren’t?  ’No I wasn’t, because I’m one of the good people’.”  Keller calls this “Evangelistic impotence.”  A good question to ponder is, ‘Do I have unbelieving friends or Christian friends who may be very ‘different’ than me?’

4.  Show a Lack of Assurance of the Father’s Love – Like the older brother in Luke, at the end of the day, you aren’t really sure if God accepts and loves you.  That’s because you always feel you have to earn that love or appease the supposed displeasure or anger that would prevent His love.

5.  An Unforgiving, Judgmental Spirit – Perhaps most of all, you are a critical person.  You’re easily angered when people fail your unbending standards.  You’re always looking at those around you judging their failures and pondering in dismay at how some people could be the way that they are.  Then you are quick to note how you are so glad you could never be like them.

I hope you find the sermon series helpful.  Let me know your thoughts with a comment!

How do you spend your time – your years, days, hours, minutes, seconds?  The current life expectancy in the United States is 78 years old.  That translates into 28, 470 days, 683,280 hours, 40,996,800 minutes and 2,459,808,000 seconds.  If you take away 7 hours-a-day for sleep that leaves you with 55 years, 20,166.25 days, 483,900 hours, 29,039,400 minutes, and 1,742,364,000 seconds of useful awake time.  For some, who will die younger, your numbers would be much less.  What will we do with this precious time, as we spend it on this side of eternity?

God the Spirit, through the Apostle Paul, exhorts us to “be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:15–16).”

Paul is calling us to give constant, careful consideration to how we act and live, including how we spend our time.  According to Paul, one who fails to think carefully about his time is unwise and lacks proper discernment.  The point is clear, you either carefully, intentionally plan your time, or you end up squandering it.

“Why, what’s the big deal?” Paul calls us to be intentional time consumers because the “days are evil.” He’s reminding us that in this present ‘evil’ age, we are up against some powerful forces, that if left unchecked, will seek to direct the use of our time toward useless and even wicked things.  Our unredeemed flesh, this evil world, and Satan along with his demonic company, all have enticing plans and suggestions for our time.  We either boldly use the time God has gifted to us or it will be spent under the sway of evil influence.

“How do I do this,” you ask?  Paul answers, “by making the most of your time” – by literally “saving” or “redeeming” each moment from the useless waste it could so easily become.  Instead of letting time flow by, you aggressively “buy up” every precious moment and use it for God’s glory, living in a manner worthy of the Gospel.

Spend your Time Experiencing the Gospel

There’s no more powerful way to spend your time than immersed in the Gospel.  Feasting on Christ brings Him glory and grows your love and desire for Him.  It also fills you up to overflowing so that you might be a blessing in the lives of others.  Here are some suggestions for gorging yourself on the Gospel.

Think about it – You cannot contemplate Christ and the cross enough!  Let the first thoughts when you wake be rehearsing powerful Gospel truths – who God is, what He’s done, who you were, what you’ve become.  Let this be your pattern throughout the day. Instead of listening to yourself, preach the gospel to your own soul.

Listen to it – Listen to Jesus through His Word, through God-exalting preaching, through friends, and through music that celebrates the treasure that Christ is.  Surround yourself with the beauty of the Gospel that has transformed your life.

Speak it – Speak Gospel truth into the lives of those around you.  Be an evangelizer of both unbelievers and believers.  One of the greatest ways to be a friend is to speak Gospel truth into the hearts of those you love.

Pray it – Thank God for what He has accomplished through the Gospel.  Plead with Him to make Gospel truths a precious reality in your own life.  Call on Him to transform you through the power that is found inside of the Gospel.

Be Saved by it – Paul says it’s the Gospel in which we stand, and by which we are “being saved” (1 Cor. 1-2).  Allow experiencing the Gospel to daily deliver you from yourself.  God’s grace has come into your life to be your master (Rom. 6:14ff.).  Let it!

Use your Time in Light of the Gospel

The Gospel instructs us that we’ve been bought with a price – we are not our own.  For some, this sounds like a death sentence.  But if we realize that through the Gospel, God has saved us not only from our sin but from ourselves, this is indeed “good news.”

Instead of restricting us, God has set us free to enjoy the infinite pleasure of living for Him. He daily places grace after grace along our path so that each moment would be spent living in the good of our Gospel inheritance.  Saved from ourselves, we can now use each second, minute, and day to live in the fullness that is ours in Christ.

Don’t believe the lie that time spent living for yourself would be far richer.  The Gospel and your own past prove you dead wrong!

Give your Time for the Sake of the Gospel

Living for the sake of the Gospel is living for Christ by living like Christ.  We do this by gazing at the glory of Christ as found in the Gospel and then seeking to be an embodiment of what we see.  Jesus is our great exemplar.  Spend every moment living like Him.

We can also spend our time for the sake of the Gospel by not only seeking to live like Christ but by making much of Christ.  The Gospel is magnified and Christ is exalted when we spend our time proclaiming His greatness and making much of Him.  We need to spend more time making much of Christ and less time making much of ourselves.

How will YOU spend your time?

What is love?  Sadly, what should be a simple question has proven difficult to answer.  Our culture has succeeded at making something so precious, cheap; and something so evident, confusing.  Even as believers, love is sadly misunderstood or polarized.  Is love a feeling or action?  That seems to be the debated question among Christians.

Love is a Command

We should begin where the Bible does.  Love is a command.  In fact, it is the greatest imperative of all: “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deut 6:5, ESV).  We’ve got to remember why God gives us commands.  When lived out, they are what bring glory to Him and infinite good to us.  God is letting us in on a divine reality – loving Him above all else is the best thing we could ever experience and leads to blessing beyond belief.  When we are loving God with all of our heart (which includes our feelings), He is truly glorified.  God longs for people who freely manifest a consuming love for Him.  What glorifies Him least, is an attempt at love that is fueled by duty, guilt, fear, or selfishness.  The problem is that apart from the gospel we cannot understand what love truly is or arrive at a path to living it out.

The Gospel Defines Love

If we really want to know what love is, we have but one place to fix our gaze – the gospel.  It was at the cross that God so vividly put his love on display for all to see and grasp.  “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10, ESV).  John made it clear that God is the author and definer of love.

What may not be as apparent is that His love is something distinguished from, yet connected to His actions.  The Scripture says, “he loved us.”  God loved us with such divine, passionate intensity that, though we were wicked rebels and eventually murdered His Son, He nevertheless eternally longed to be in an impassioned relationship with us.  His affections toward us are so fervent that His love for us is as intense as His love for His own Son (John 17:23).  God’s love consists of powerful, divine feelings that have found their ultimate expression in the loving act of the cross.

The Gospel Produces Love

Scripture is also clear about the connection between God’s love and our own.  “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19 ESV).  Our love for God (and even others) is simply a response (strong feelings that drive intense actions) to His love for us.  As we stare at the gospel and gaze at God’s love for us demonstrated on the cross, we find the motivation and power to love Him.

The sinful woman in Luke 7 loved Jesus much, only when she understood His immense love for her despite her great wickedness, and the forgiveness that His love accomplished.  “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven; for this reason she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke 7:47).  As it resonates in the heart of the believer, the gospel has the power to produce true, abiding love .

The gospel is the only source of true love, and love is the only motivation for true obedience.  God commands us to love Him. What He wants is sinners who marvel at the cross and by daily rehearsing the gospel find themselves overflowing with an unquenchable love for their Lord and Savior.