Put down your duct tape and pick up the telephone—Lady Gaga’s announced her new tour dates for the North American Monster, and tickets go on sale in a few days. Gagaloo has gone to great lengths to design her “first-ever pop-electro opera.” The question is, how far are you willing to go to see it?

If you want to get something done, you’ve got to do it yourself—or enlist the help of your celebrity stylist. If Jessica Simpson doesn’t find Mr. Right soon, she’s planning on settling down and having a baby with hair guru/BFF Ken Paves. Hey, at least Jess Jr. will be guaranteed a lifetime of good hair days!

Spencer Pratt, superhero? Recent reports that Spencer was planning to leave The Hills to fight cyber crime sounded too weird to be true…and they are. He is indeed leaving The Hills for six weeks—but it’s to attend anger management classes after threatening one of the crew. Hey, if your wife was 95 percent plastic, you’d be angry too.

“I was deejaying six nights a week before the show. I’m deejaying six nights a week now. A lot of people think I’m a reality-show deejay and that’s not true at all.” The Jersey Shore’s Pauly D, on beating up the beat then and now.

Hot ‘n Cold and…lukewarm lyrics? Katy Perry’s in love, and her new album is going to reflect that. She’s announced that her boyfriend Russell Brand’s influence has caused her to write much less cynical songs with “cuter” lyrics. So does this mean we’ll be listening to tracks like “I Kissed a Boy” and “One of the Girls.”

At 9/8 c, the Upper East Side will be sizzling in spite of the chilly weather. Last week’s coat room quickie was just the beginning for S and N…and it looks like D and V could be the next to start a mid-March heatwave.  All that and Little J has found herself a dangerous new D. Watch “The Lady Vanished” tonight on the CW…and let’s hope the heat is contagious.

Disney pop princess? Check. Known on a first name basis to fans? Check. Dating a Jonas brother? Demi Lovato can now cross that milestone off the list: she’s officially confirmed that she’s dating Joe Jonas. Will the relationship last—or will it fizzle faster than you can say, “Miley and Nick”?

Is Kristen Stewart trading the red carpet for a concert stage? K-Stew had so much fun playing Joan Jett in The Runaways that she now says she’d love to start a band—along with co-stars Stella Maeve and Scout Taylor-Compton. She’s already got the look, the attitude, and a nickname…does it even matter whether or not she can sing?

“I have to be careful to not lose who I am or the Miley Cyrus factor, by going to do other characters. But I want to extend my audience. I want to give myself new challenges and not just be the same person, over and over.” Miley Cyrus, on why she’s hanging up her Hannah Montana wig.

You know you need a life makeover when your mom calls Britney Spears a good influence. Such was the case for Jamie Lynn Spears, whose mother Lynn thinks moving in with big sis Brit will help the troubled teen mom. Sounds like the perfect concept for a new reality show: If you liked Jon and Kate Plus Eight you’ll love the Spears Family Circus!