Gossip Journal

3.01 Reversals of Fortune

2009-10-26T17:29:00.008+01:00

A.K.A. Third Season Stinks from the Beginning

Cough, cough... I'm not biased. I was faithfully hoping for something spectacular, I'm not the one to blame if they could only deliver cheap drama.

This picture represents a fabulous New Yorkish scenary much like Sex and the City. Don't be fooled, Gossip Girl is only 10% of the time like that.

Gossip Girl insists on going too fast. Arc after arc, every one of them more fantastic and unreal than the precedent. And everything is colourful. Why can't the rich kids ever go to a dark alley in the City in a storyline about drug abuse? Rather, they get in a crazy trip to Santorini no one even gets to see.
Come on. The show doesn't even portray the lifestyle of millionaire bitches such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss etc. We see no crack, no cocaine, no badass dealers (not like Kevin Volchok please, we so don't need that artificial shite), no overdoses (flashback does not count), no DUI, no sex tapes. Actually, the only thing we got up until now was Jenny stealing Hazel's mother's Valentino.
But come to think about it, with Josh Schwartz on board failure was inevitable. The O.C., his masterpiece, is the most fake though boring television series till this date. Why should we expect any different with Gossip Girl? Err... Because he had a fucking guide previously written and quite successful called Gossip Girl, the book series. He could at least preserve the same fucking pace. Don't get me wrong, I think the books suck, but they're realer and slower.
So that's what I wish for Gossip Girl this season! That it gets dark and slow. And rid of Vanessa.

Since not even Gawker wants to recap Gossip Girl anymore, let's just tally points like everybody else. The episode sucks, so it's not like we could give them props anyway.

How much does Gossip Girl antics get under your skin?

4% Chuck and Blair little RPG could be hot, if it wasn't childish. And since Blair doesn't really enjoy it, it's abusive.
6% They gave Nate another stupid romantic storyline! If they really want to rewrite Nathaniel Archibald, they need to stop giving him isolated storylines. He needs to be integrated in another character's plot.
5% Serena is the character with the more unbelievable storylines. Supernova? She's superinternational and superdumb. Couldn't she stay local and be a little funny?
1% Westwick is still histrionic.
2% Carter, one of the only characters I thought could provide a great arc, is completely out-of-character.
35% Vanessa is still there, speaking weirdly, like she's enumerating something. I could forgive any other flaw in the script, but her existence. That's how much I HATE her. Plus, she walks like a man.

Awright, I will give some kudos:

Dan has became a playboy.
Serena admoesting Blair. Thank goodness.
Though Scott was born, literally, from a crappy storyline, he's OK.

Still, Gossip Girl's premiere annoyed me 53% of the time. I'd say it's too much for an average episode. One can foresee it will get much worse.
XOXO.

Off with Vanessa's head

2009-10-15T14:19:00.003+02:00

If you want Vanessa to share Aaron Rose's fate, vote:

Write off Vanessa

You know the writers kind of do not care at all for online petitions no one is signing, BUT it's still fun.

Dear writers of Gossip Girl. As ardent Gossip Girls fans we are PLEADING that you remove the character of Vanessa Abrams from the show. We do not like her character, we right down violently dislike it. She is pointless in our eyes and the more you keep her the more we're hating her. Please stop trying to make her more liked with these crazy storylines, just please remove her. Bring in someone fresh, interesting and NOT hypocritical. Her presence is ruining a lot of our viewing enjoyment of the show. We started out being able to just stand her, ignore her if necessary. Yet, recent events have cause us to HATE her with a passion. From her manipulating ways to always judging and never admitting to fault. From the situation with Jenny, to Serena and Dan, to Nate and now the final straw being Chuck. STOP IT! PLEASE TAKE VANESSA OUT!

2.25 Goodbye Gossip Girl

2009-10-07T03:08:00.012+02:00

I was feeling sad
Can't help looking back
Highways flew by
Run, run, run away
No sense of time
Want you to stay
Want keep you inside

You can tell Jesus that the bitch is back*.

It has been a while.

What a weak season finale! It felt like any other poorly written episode out of the season collection.
There was one thing alone that felt right, Gossip Girl's own overview of the fantastic five antics throughtout the season.
Other than that, it was really, really lacking. It had nothing of the old days and certainly wasn't up to rival the season 1 finale. It's like I always say, Gossip Girl is addictive, but it sucks.

Nate Archibald: Class whore. Dan Humphrey: The ultimate insider. Chuck Bass: Coward. Blair Waldorf: Weakling. Serena van der Woodsen: Oficially irrelevant.

My biggest disappointment was Blair.
Blair and Chuck are everybody's favourite characters, favourite couple. It's already a tiresome, redundant cliché. Let's not go there... for now.
What I mean is - Blair has become this dumb and pathetic person. A weakling. Though if she was just a coward, uncapable person, it would be natural for her age. You're allowed to feel weak, alone against the world. You know, my whole world is falling apart. One could sympathize. But now - she is still on this selfdepreciative path. What the fuck is wrong with her? I actually hate her when she does that. She has stripped for him over 50 times expecting him to say ILY back! Does it make any sense? It is painful to watch.
I'm sure people are quoting her as though it was a romantic gesture of desperation; making icons; calling her a heroine.
I think she is completely out of character and even offensive.
I don't care if the world disagrees, that's what I think, that's how I've been feeling since episode 5 and I am really upset right now.

The apocalypse they intented to create with the war Serena declared against GG was so incredibly badly written that no one was even enticed by the prospects of knowing - not who is Gossip Girl - but what our fabulous crust knew of her. We could be interested, but the script wasn't inspiring at all.

Jenny's little coronation? One word: contrived.

Enfin, it's imperative that we address the V problem.
There wasn't a single recap of this episode in which the author didn't trash Vanessa somehow. But that's just because she deserves.
And you know what? I'm tired of having to apologize to all Jessica Szohr fans only because I hate her character. Drop it. I hate it, I loathe it. I really am through with Vanessa plaguing this series! You're entitled to like this contemptible character, that's up to you. But everytime someone says a word against Vanessa on a forum, there's a luminous ray of light who replies "Jessica Szohr is nice", "Jessica Szohr is beautiful". OK, mate, I don't care. I'm not talking about JS, I'm talking about VA. But, since you brought that up, I am not willing to put up with Vanessa in order to keep JS employed.

Oh, and Chuck did say I love you back. Yeah, it is a big deal. It's just that... that scene was awful.

Gossip Girl: lousiest piece of shit.
Congratulations, now you have my diploma.

* I wasn't gonna say that, but then I totally did.

The Truth about Gossip Girl

2009-10-05T16:51:00.002+02:00

From Gawker:

If this all sounds a bit too harsh, it probably is, because who really cares. But my beef is this. Clearly a lot of time is spent on coming up with zingy one liners that everyone is hoping will become pop culture catchphrases and notable quotables. Sometimes those lines land really well! But most of the time they just seem meant to distract from the huge, gaping, stupid plot holes and bad storytelling. If the writers spent half as much time actually writing the script as they do coming up with stupid designer clothing puns, I think we'd have a much better show on our hands. Ugh. I'm sorry. I'm ruining your special day, Gossip Girl! It's your graduation! Let's sit down for the ceremony.

Supporting the actress

2009-02-23T17:07:00.000+01:00

Vote for Blair
for Chuck is a douche.

Archibald's a lucky man

2009-02-05T21:37:00.004+01:00

Has anyone been spoilt with the pictures already?
The rumour has been around for a while now, for about 4 or 5 episodes. And since this series is more about the buzz and real gossip than the scripted episodes, we have to comment on the new fic fact for a change.
I think it's great.
They're both pretty, he's kind of a Vanderbilt and Vanessa is bound to suffer. All sides are bright; plus, I'm really tired of Chuck. Chuck and Blair as a couple doesn't work for me anymore, at least for now. And since I'm such a Blair fan, I don't care for Chuck's plotlines at all, so he may as well be written off the next five episodes.
I believe this romance is the perfect opportunity for Nate to redeem himself, but we all know how it's going to end - like every other plotline this season, it will just be dropped in a two episodes span.

2.17 Carnal Knowledge

2009-02-03T21:17:00.002+01:00

No one liked Chuck's plotline yesterday.
No one likes Vanessa. Ever.

That's all.

2.16 You've Got Yale

2009-01-24T21:33:00.005+01:00

I am not gonna watch this episode. Maybe some day by the end of the season.
My reasons are mostly that: I've had enough of this insane Yale fantasy; I've had enough of Lily; I've had enough of Chuck being a smarmy purple dwarf and an idiot; I've had enough of that horrible character known as Vanessa; and I don't think neither the writers nor the demographic understand anything about opera, or even opera houses, for that matter.
So I'm saving myself.

Next week: Vanessa knows it all. Since the producers think not many people like her and they have to, they go all condescending as usual and she, the prettiest, smartest, most inteligent and coolest girl of the series [she's the complete opposite of it all, but they didn't get the memo] will intrude Chuck's life, along with Nate, and make it better with all rainbow's colours. Chuck, as the smug idiot he is, will receive her open arms and the writers will be winking at us in a "they will hook up eventually" way. And you are bound to love [don't purge!] Vanessa by the end, because, after all, that's all they want.

Gee! How cool! I can't wait!

Sticking my middle finger up with regards to the producers,
XOXO.

2.15 Gone with the Will

2009-01-17T01:46:00.008+01:00

People told me of this episode's awfulness so many times that I, contrary to reason, began to be keen on the possibility of watching. Because I wasn't really that interested, I'm a fickle fan. Which is kind of sad, for I liked last week's a lot, but no good episode is going to erase the SHAMEFUL sensation I got from this entire season.

The only thing bound to make me real chipper is Vanessa dropping off. Off of Manhattan, off the series, off of television. As always, Vanessa equals to the quantity of sucks 1.5.

Hey boys, hey girls, super siamese twins, here we go! The episode begins with the characters making a boring entrance. Lily and Rufus are totally gonna do it and eventually get back together after a few predictable twists. Jenny likes the idea because Lily is rich and just gained 20% share of the Bass Industries, so maybe she gets rich too if her poor, poor father gets to marry the wicked for the rest. You know what this storyline sums up to be? Lame. It's so dramatic and uncool. For once, Serena seems to have lit a bulb of light over her head. Of course it will burn burn her roots later, but it is just like Clueless! I thought about it just the past week. Alas, these are the days of our lives. We'll smell this crappy SL later.

Lemme see, what else's lame this week? Oh, yeah, Blair. Blair who loves Chuck so much that is willing to sacrifice who she is for him. Let me tell you, I am not willing to sacrifice this character for him. She's miserable all the time. And just not a teenager.
Just like Blair, Chuck is a lame persona, driving his OTP with said fictional girl to a halt. And yes, he wears too much purple, too much glitter, too much Carson-like stuff. It was okay when he wore those gay bow ties and our very dear scarf, but they pushed him over the edge, and, guess what, he fell. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Chuck together again.
Actually, I hope they can.

By the way, Chuck is ahead of the company, not Hot Uncle Jack, as the latter expected. They become privy to the information through a insanely blunt letter from the deceased, which is also an attempt to soft Chuck's grief by saying that Bart gave a shit about him. Nice.

Eric is facing a real teenage issue for a change. Jenny's hair looks nice, she's a pretty little thing when she's not annoying me. But she's annoying Eric, because she doesn't have any other friends. She needs to get along with Blair ASAP.

On one hand, I wish Blair, Nate and Chuck could have light plotlines centered about fashion, school, college and gossip. Rather than offscreen deaths, wills and lost children. On the other, I wish these moments could be combined with noir ones. Couldn't Blair destroy someone for good? Couldn't she actually destroy Vanessa's life in New York and escape unscathed? Why can't they be mean to people they don't love? They're always vicious to the ones they do. I want blood. You know, normal and noir, instead of superdrama at full speed.

The Plastics miss Blair as much as I miss old Blair. Luckly, I know she'll be back by the end of the episode, so let's move on.

Now, to the biological parents tracking down their missing kid. Ain't this the biggest cliché they pulled till this moment? Schwavage are offending us one too many times. Lily is disgusting. As beautiful as Kelly Rutherford is, Lily isn't a teenager. I don't want to see her so much. Gosh, another waste of prime time. It's so boring. I don't care for any fraking spin-off, nor for her young years half a century ago, not for her infamous nowhere to be seen son. It's a stupid plot dragging itself over the eppies. I feel a little sorry for Serena having to cope with her mother. At least Eric is there to raise her. He's so cute he should be Blair's brother.

Since I was getting a bit tired of having to look at Lily, I decided to go try on some new clothes, with my back to the screen, when suddenly I hear that obnoxious voice. Yes, it's her, the evil troll from Brooklyn. Sans Nate, shopping for some hard candy.

Back to Blair (and Chuck, since they became one single entity), I don't want Bass with anyone else, but I wouldn't mind Blair being fun again. Like when she partied a bit and pretended to be stoned. She has the right to have a secret superfun statutory-rape-ish affair with Jack!Sperm. Her ridiculous verbal sex with Chuck in the sweaty episode, and Darena being so icky, earns us the right to enjoy this new possible rendezvous.

What is Jenny doing at the brunch? And her hair went back to being ugly. Dan and Serena share a sibling. That's so silly. Ha, ha.

"You don't think I thought about him all the time 24/7 over the last 300 years I lived through slaughtering virgins to keep my beauty?", asked the Wicked Mater. Er... NO! We don't. You didn't. Who the hell thought that inserting this line would make any sense at all? I admit she would say something like that, but the story should prove she's a selfish bitch who thinks too high of herself; instead, the episode tries to convince us that she's a good mother and a loveable character. Well, she's not anymore!
I came up with the perfect plotline for Lily after all this. She should check into rehab again for the rest of the season. And we shouldn't get no scenes at all with her. Only passing mentions like "Lily was hitting the bong a lot less by Easter".
As for Vanessa, she needs to die in a hole right now. She already lives in one, so her body should be found in CSINY.

So, Jack betrayed Chuck and I still can't help but give him kudos. Where did all my Chuck love go? To hell, possibly by the minute he reacted to the accusation of being a ninfo by responding that he can make a sex round last long, yet again. And yes, Blair. He spit the wife word because he doesn't love you right now nor does he plan on marrying you ever.

Thank goodness for Blair stop pining for Chuck! I heard about it before I watched and I felt so relieved. Quite frankly, to this point, I only bear with Chuck because he's the closest thing to the ultimate female fantasy of the witty bad boy with high social status that falls in love with our favourite girl. But it seems as he'll always be the dirty boy with a monkey on his shoulder. Blair can do better, but we know she will not.

Altogether, I feel SO, SO sorry for the family that adopted the child with no name. Stop harassing people, Wicked One.

2.14 In the Realm of the Basses

2009-01-10T17:35:00.003+01:00

I thought you put me in rapture

I never asked you to dump her
Thought you knew we'd have a high life
Paraparaparapapah

And still I see
Your philosophy
Falling through my tainted mind
Would you dig my dirt?
Cos I'm so desperate
Can't you see you're wasting time?
I failed to tell you, to tell you now

"So, was this week's episode good for you too?", asked my dear friend.
"Haven't watched it yet. I'm too focused on replaying Veronica Mars these days. Was it any good?" I wanted to know, all weary.
"It was pretty much like when we watched No Country for Old Men. At first, you can't say it's good, but as the dust settles, it seems more than okay. There's no Vanessa and it's all about CB", she said, trying to entice me.
Of course I perked up. Maybe Vanessa is also dying in an off-screen car accident as we speak.
"And it plays I'm Not Cool", adds my friend, catching all my attention and excitement at once.
So I decided to take a chance on an unknown episode.

That I've been fooled
Cos I'm not cool
And the scissors slide
Away with my pride

Speeding down a dead-end track
I wanted you, there's no way back
Got a destructive appetite
Paraparaparapapah

I planned on being really bitter over 2.14, but I toned down the craze once I saw the clothes and the colours. Gossip Girl always gets better when it gets chilly, if the last episode was any indication. Plus, I like Uncle Jack already. All Basses are all good.
Ooh, Dan and Serena are back together and Gossip Girl is being bitchy about it. It feels so incredibly right. As boring as it can get, it's still right. Dan and Serena, Dan and Serena, wooo! Finally the incest SL is upon us. Bring it on.
Whatever is going on with Lily's hair and makeup, it's not helping her I-didn't-kill-Bart case. She just looks like she did it.
So this is how they redeem Jenny, huh? How... expected. But I still like it for many reasons. One of which is that Jenny gets better and Vanessa gets uglier, which means Vanessa has great chances of dropping off the face of the earth and Jenny getting Nate back. Not that I care for who Nate smooches, as long as it's not the Obnoxious One.
Blair's place in all that makes sense. And she'll never leave high school behind, hopefully, she'll boss people around for ever. But isn't Eric really the wise one? He really knows everything. You must kick somebody when they appear to be down.
Chuck is smoking hash and I'm so proud of him. He's whispering a little less and smoking, all at the same time!
Serena, after a one episode delay, realizes Chuck has a problem, and she's all so helpful.
Annoy, tall blonde one! Annoy like the wind!
Chuck's big Oops, at last, was a very good scene. Kudos for the director.
All in all, great, great episode. I regained my faith.

"I am satisfied", I stated matter-of-factly to my friend, when the episode ended.
"Good", she begun, "but I, for one, am a pessismist. I bet next week they're gonna bring the bastard, Dan and Serena will be left in the vacuum, and Vanessa will appear".
Gee. Scary much? Anyway, we'll soon find out.

BTW, people in Argentina must be really upset right now. If Serena went to Australia, would we view pictures of her playing with kangaroos? Lousy!

Gossip Girl's The Soup material

2009-01-07T22:54:00.006+01:00

He's starting to slightly resemble David Caruso. Red wig him and ya ready to go!
I say this out of love (not really), but...

Westwick, stop whispering, for fuck's sake, you IDIOT!
[Chandler cries in the background] You're ruining moving day!

Now, you, you Joel McHale, I love deeply with all my heart *thumbs up*

Spoilers before Christmas

2008-12-24T13:22:00.004+01:00

I'd wish you a happy Christmas but there's so much Vanessa in this post that... UGH! You've been warned. Jessica Szohr is living up to her character, popping up everywhere, her promotion is getting worse than Vitaminwater placement.

Here's Kristin's scoop.

Kelly in Manhattan: What's the next shocker coming up on Gossip Girl in the new year?

There's a storyline coming that's so dirty, even Jessica Szohr was surprised about it: "They can do that?" If it's above and beyond what we've seen so far, it must be good.

Samantha in Los Angeles: More Gossip Girl please!
The Gossip kids are getting downright dirty in the sexy secret society kind of way. Jessica Szohr spills, "They're doing a little thing like Eyes Wide Shut, which is kind of cool and interesting." Knowing Chuck, he will definitely be one of the men behind the masks.

Lori in Fitchburg, Wis.: I just heard that there's a new episode of Gossip Girl called "You've Got Yale"—does this mean that all of the kids are going to, uh, Yale?
Actually, I'm told that our fave Upper East Siders will go to three different colleges next year. Any guesses about who goes where? They'd better not separate Bluck! (Or Chair for that matter.)
[Vanessa should go to a waitresses college in Paris and never come back]

2.05 The Serena Also Rises: quotes

2008-12-21T18:49:00.004+01:00

B: I hope you don't mind, but I set the girls from school in the second row.
Eleanor: They're your friends, why not? Besides, they will worship you for this.
B: I know.

C: Watching you fail spectacularly gives me so much joy.
B: And you know what you get to everyone, Chuck? Misery. There's a reason you're always here alone.
C: Nate just happens to be away at his grandparents.
B: Nate is only friends with you out of habit. The only person with fewer friends than you is Dan Humprhey, and at least his lame 90s dad likes him. That's because he's something you'll never be: a human being.

Laurel: Eleanor! The sitting chart is weak, where are the It girls?
Eleanor: They're there, look!
Laurel: Kirsten Dunst? That's so 2007. Her rehab barely made the radar.

C: It's like the plague. Only instead of vermin on my doorstep, I get the human being. Beat it, Humphrey, my sister doesn't dig stalkers.
D: Actually, as strange as it sounds, I'm here to see you. I know we don't like each other, you think I'm a boring sheltered nobody -
C: I don't think of you.
D: Alright, of course you don't! But I've been thinking of me, and I've come to the conclusion that I need to get out of my comfort zone, I need to experience new things.
C: Are you gay?
D: Now that would be out of my comfort zone. But no. I just need to get out of Brooklyn for one night. I'd like to experience the world of Chuck Bass.
C: You're lucky I'm bored.

B: Don't ever go to high school, Dorota! The girls are spoiled, stupid and ungrateful. One snapshot with that socialite and it's all Serena, Serena, SERENA!

B: Don't they know that without me they'd never see the inside of a fashion tent? They'd be stuck behind the barricades of PETA!

D: What is that?
C: Does it matter? We go down the rabbit hole, then we go out the door.

Rufus: B-Blair! What could we have done to deserve a visit from you?

Shapiro: There's so much saccharine in this it's giving me cancer.

Laurel: This is gonna be sensational! Models lost, socialites save the day. Your show will get so much press that it will drive Marc Jacobs to drink.
Eleanor: Everytime he goes to rehad his sales soar.

J: You might be priviledged, Blair, but you work for every single thing you achieve, like me. Serena just glides through. I wanted to be your friend last year for a reason, I wanted you to like me.

GG: Don't worry, B. The brightest stars are the ones that burn up the fastest. Or at least that's what I heard. Waiting for a star to fall, XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Aaron Rose leaves the building

2008-12-19T17:08:00.004+01:00

I didn't mind him, but I know most of you hated him.
And how was he kicked? He simply doesn't come back from Argentina with Serena. Seriously, no, superseriously!, that's so refreshing. No kudos for the writers, because they clearly didn't know what to do with the gremlin they bathed and fed after midnight, BUT it is still a very logical way of parting ways. Sometimes you just go to Argentina to save your 3 weeks relationship from oblivion and come back empty hands. Or who knows what she's bringing back home. Not Lord Marcus, please.
But I really think it was the best way. Picture how funny it would be if he didn't appear or was even mentioned next episode. Like he never existed.

Just tell me 16 things

2008-12-14T16:18:00.003+01:00

Intel started it. Alternate Lines Rufus Humphrey Might Have Said at Grand Central Terminal Last Night.
My favourite options.

"Just tell me one thing..."

"…why'd you vote for McCain?"
"...Is Tupac still alive?"
"...are Serena's boobs real?!"
"...Did you know that every time you walk away or run away you take a piece of MY UNBORN FETUS OR PERHAPS MY SECRET PARISIAN LOVE CHILD with you?"
"... how can I get my daughter to wear pants?"
"..WHY SO SERIOUS?
My DVR killed itself last night, so I had to watch the episode on my iphone in a bathroom stall at work during 4 long "bathroom breaks". If that's not dedication, I don't know what is*.
"...Will Chuck & Blair ever get together?"
"...Were you planning Bart's murder all this time?"
"... When CeCe came to see me earlier ..... who was running hell?"
"...who will be the star of the new Gossip Girl spinoff?"
"...are those last season's tory burch flats?"
"... did the person who does your hair die in the car crash too?"
"...why did you ignore my friend request on facebook?"
"...does this look infected?"
"... why did you let the Archibalds of all people adopt Nate?!"
"...would I be the next husband you kill?"

* This is not an alternative, it's just good.

More spoilers for the kids

2008-12-13T17:15:00.003+01:00

Just read it on TV.com Forum.

Anyhoo....random spoilers...some seem old and some turned out to be completely untrue (unless there was a sudden rewrite of the last script) but here they are anyways [from FanForums]. [...]

There will be one major scene between Chuck, Dan, and Rufus at the opera house. (poster who saw filming)
- Dan/Serena are back together and making out in the audience of the opera house episode 16, Lily/Rufus have some scenes,
- Chuck/Rufus have a scene. There is also a Lily/Rufus/Jack scene. Harold appears. (IMDB)
- Chuck and Blair will reevaluate the limitations on their relationship in episode 15 or 16. (PraesseM)
- The writers will not have RL be endgame, because it interferes too much with DS. (PraesseM)
- Blair's bulimia is back as an upcoming issue, with Chuck finding out and taking about how they would support each other forever. (PraesseM)
- Vanessa and another cast member get a "ridiculous" storyline. (PraesseM)
- They originally wanted a JN baby but nixed the idea. We might get a pregnancy sl down the line, but it's unknown who it would be. (PraesseM)
- Most of the next episodes are centered around CB and the fallout of Bart's death. (PraesseM)
- There is a new party in 2.17.
- Nate will continue to be clueless. (PraesseM)
- In upcoming episodes we will see Chuck at his darkest points. Blair will stand by him, but she will need everyone's help. Blair will need Chuck in an upcoming episode, but it might not have to do with her eating disorder.
- The majority of the characters will be centered around Chuck for the next few episodes. Even in the scenes that don't have Chuck in them.
- Blair's father will make another appearance in an upcoming episode. This time it won't just be a Blair and her father interaction but rather more characters will also be in the scene.
- Chuck will never directly say "I don't love you" to Blair. While hurt, she's everything to him.
- There will be some flashbacks coming but they aren't going to be the entire episode.
- Blair will comfort Chuck, but it won't be so much of the "hug" scene. Lots of verbal hugging and general sardonic wit.

Vanessa ruins everything

2008-12-12T03:02:00.007+01:00

I don't know how I started the season rooting for NV and ended phase 1 wishing her so dead. Talk about change of heart. It's an increasing bandwagon, but the trend was launched many recaps ago by someone who has never been manipulated by those pretty green eyes¹.
Following, my favourite quotes from B-Side in which he takes time to bash Vanessa. Not that she was ever mentioned for any other reason.

I wanted certain things to happen — you know, like Vanessa spontaneously evaporating into an odorless gas.

Jenny finally appears! But don't get too excited. Here comes Vanessa, and she's wearing a dress that looks not unlike an orange piñata. Gross. She ruins everything, even Jenny's brief little appearance.

Well, looks like Rufufth and Lily just had a long night of DOING IT, and while I'm sure they want to sleep and spoon and remember the good days when Lincoln Hawk's horrendous song was a big hit, their bliss gets interrupted by a ringing phone. It's probably Vanessa. She LOVES breaking up nice moments. I'm shocked she hasn't already climbed through the window to say hi.

Nate and Chuck have buried the hatchet. Now Nate wants to just go home and, you know, get high off his dad's stash. Before he goes, he says, "Tell Vanessa--" "Tell Vanessa what?" Vanessa asks, popping up out of nowhere. GODDAMN, SHE ALWAYS SHOWS UP EVERYWHERE.

This season of Gossip Girl has been getting stronger and stronger, especially now that all awkward attempts at integrating Vitamin Water into the proceedings have been relegated to a mere refrigerator in Vanessa's stupid gallery café (attendance: zero).

Then there's Vanessa. Awful, awful Vanessa. Just like her Brooklyn brethren, Dan, she seems to ruin every scene, every plot line, and every good thing about the show.

Plus, her relationship with Nate still lacks any chemistry, but at this point I've grown accustomed to it and have accepted their love for what it is (awful). And yes, of course she would screw up Blair-Bear's little anti-Duchess scheme. My disdain knows no bounds.

Was this the first semi-tolerable Dan Humphrey storyline since the pilot? And wasn't it refreshing to not have Vanessa around?

This week, Little J tried to convince Dad that a career in Eleanor Waldorf's sweatshop was more worthwhile than completing a high school education. Annoyingly backing her up was Vanessa, whose awfulness seems to know no bounds. Smiling obnoxiously like some transplant from a squeaky clean Disney show, Vanessa would appear at random intervals to support Jenny and boast the merits of homeschooling.

Vanessa was only in a handful of scenes on tonight's Gossip Girl, but she still managed to ruin EVERYTHING by planting a seed of distrust in Dan that he later passed along to Blair, who then botched up her big "I love you" moment with Chuck. Anti-LOL on that, yo. It seems like every episode, her character screws up everyone else's best laid plans, and while I know she's not a real person, dammit if I don't tense up when I see her boho-lovin' face on screen.

Of course, she's [Jenny] not as awful as Vanessa, the true standard-bearer for terrible television characters.

Once again, Vanessa spent this Thanksgiving episode doing little more than pop up and make stupid references (Alexanderplatz? Please). She really gets more intolerable every waking minute. At least at the end of the show, she did something mildly interesting by intercepting Nate's love letter to Jenny. That's kind of fun; although, it lends more credence to my overarching theory about her character: namely that VANESSA RUINS EVERYTHING!

¹ As much as I hate the referred character, I kind of respect people who don't mind her existence and even the very few, reduced group that actually likes her. Thus, no one has really the right to be offended by this. And I have nothing against Jessica Szohr, who is a pretty girl that hopefully has nothing in common with her obnoxious persona [although I still want her to date some other guy who doesn't belong to the main cast. Go date Aaron, V; you guys can be sober pains in the ass together].

2.13 O Brother, Where Bart Thou

2008-12-10T20:28:00.005+01:00

Whether you liked the episode or despised the writers efforts to create whatever it is they had in mind, O Brother, Where Bart Thou? is a very important part of Gossip Girl's entire history.

I did my homework, I made some research, I noticed people's various reactions to this week's plot. We can't go back in time. This episode still doesn't erase all the crap they've been pulling. But it was a good episode. For me, it was glass-shattering.

They succeeded in making me feel funny. I cried whole-heartedly, and then I felt mad, and then I wept and felt mad all over again.
The most powerful feelings of this season and late season 1 were present, strongly. Some of them were torn, others solidified. Tonight, the negatives are positively gold.

Direness
Previously on Gossip Girl, am I alone in thinking that Lily said "Bart has been in an accident" with the Icky face, like it's not sad, just a tad inconvenient? "Serena, I have to go. Senile Bart pooped on the couch". At least Gossip Girl seems happy. I'm not, I like Bart. I still hope he's somewhere, preparing to attack Lily. So Gossip Girl is happy, and so is Serena, and so is Grandmother Cece. In the beginning, Lily at least had the grace to appear demented.

Attachment
Did Eleanor just suggest to Blair that she should marry Chuck? Can't deny it's a good idea. Oh, I love Mr Hall. I'm so happy he makes Blair happy. "How can you even think of your vacations the day they're putting Bart in the ground?" Well, B, you think your mom is bad, but you don't know that Lily woman.
Serena still looks slutty even going to her stepfather's funeral. I'm just saying - Why is Dan here again? Oh, I get, perhaps she called him because your stepfather's burial is the perfect excuse to reapproach an ex-boyfriend.

Thrill
Westwick looks hot when he's down. And Bart's last words are possibly his best since ever. I like him, I love him, I want him to make a sudden appearance in black gloves for vendetta. Hey, Bart, do you know Vanessa hates skycrapers and rich people? Can you imagine?
Well, Bart didn't come back from the dead yet, but Jonathan, the gay boyfriend, did. I'm still not sure why.
Funny how Serena isn't worried about Chuck at all. It's probably because he's not hot to bang her, or whatever.
Chuck, Blair and Nate together are pure win. This is where Nate belongs, nowhere else, soon the writers will understand that too. And then we can get rid of Vanessa, who... FUCK! I can't stop thinking of her even when she's not there. I hate you, stupid lucid nightmare.

Insanity
Omigosh. Chuck just came running berserk towards Dan, speaking funny. I had to laugh, sorry.
"Chuck, Dan has been helping us, unlike you!" And she touched him. And Blair didn't slap her across the face. What's wrong with the Upper East Side? And who wrote this scene? It's horrible. Makes no sense whatsoever.
At least Eric is looking like he gets it. He knows his wicked mater.
Then it cuts to Dan reaching home in 5 seconds time and relating everything to Rufus, who looks blatantly guilty, and some idiot out of nowhere puts on the ha-ha music in the background, and you just know they're trying to piss you off.

Desideratum
We wouldn't have survived this episode without Blair, Nate and Mr Hall. Nor would Chuck. The van der Basses suite is the Evilest Pad of Hell. Speaking of which, what the hell is Jenny doing?
"Chuck has publicly disowned us". She is Serena van der Woodsen, the most talked about wrecked whore of the Upper East Side. What is it she's saying? The grieving son of the de cujus is embarrassing her flawless family?
Now I can only imagine what would have been if Vanessa's writer managed to include her awful figure in this episode. I'm so grateful he didn't. We need more funerals if it means taking time off that wretched character - let's start with hers.

Aftermath
I don't know what is it Westwick does with his eyes, but he's good. He's all good. Now, why was it again she hit him? Can't she control her hands? Seriously. Misfired.
Oh, Eric, come here. Shrieking Chuckles loves you. It's just that your mother killed his father, but you'll be together in the end, when all the obstacles are removed. By the way, have you heard Vanessa is homophobic?
If on one hand, Lily the Ultraviolent and Cece's conversation was accurate, on the other, Blair's Speech was everything but right.

Imperfection
What was that? What was she babbling about? I'm me, you're you; I'm Blair, you're Chuck, I'm Chuck, you're Blair, I'm Tarzan, you're Jane. So not epic. She should have told him she loved him later. They're soothing words, but not painkillers.
But it wasn't all bad. She said she would stand by him through the darkest thoughts he'd ever have. I don't really know what that means, but I wanna watch it when she gets to do that, whatever it is. And you know why would I do that? Because I love you, Chair.
Then he looked touched and at a loss, and she looked perplexed and in pain. And I loved them more. I'm a masochist for their scenes only.

Absurdity
"Don't worry, Serena. Chuck was grieving and I understand that after what happened to his father..."
"What? Whose father? Oooh, no, I'm not here to talk about Chuckie boy. I don't care for Chuck at all. I'm here because I'm going to Buenos Aires, and I wanted to ask you in what continent is it located".
Have Blair ever spoken to Aaron Rose, at all? Well, she's talking to his father a lot, which is so warming to presence.
Lily is running away with Rufus because who cares? No one grieves Bart but Chuck. Not even a boot-licker intern trying to climb the social-bizz ladder. And where are the Trumps? In California?

Wipeout
The episode could have been about grief and sadness and darkness. Instead, there comes Serena, acting poorly and cracking the atmosphere.
Also, filed under the lousy plots tag, there is The Secret, the Science of Already Being Rich and Now Getting Filthy.
"You don't want THIS to become public"
"What is IT?"
"THIS is exactly what you think IT is"
Oh, now that was a good one. But then comes elder Humphrey.
"Wait! I know what it is! Or was. Well, I can't say absolutely for sure whether it's a boy or a girl or dead or alive. Or if it is, or was, or..."
Okay, people. We get it. We knew from the start, no rocket science. It's more like a big, yellow, striking cliché, too juvenile a plot for such old persons.

Lovingness
The indescribable moment when Blair held Chuck for his dear life, I felt some very acute pain. We're as lost in the storylines as these children. So much love, so much desperation. He didn't say it back to her yet [that belongs to another chapter far from now], but we saw in his eyes He loves her. Now we'll never let it go.

Startover
"Thank you for telling me that you're in love with Lily Bass and preparing to escape to Dominica". Oh, no, wrong parent. But that's what they do quite often, isn't it? They leave for Paris, Lyon, Dominica, Hudson, Cornwall. 40s going on 17.
Don't you just love to closely view how Lily's all-guilty and innocent little smile fades before Rufus somber expression? Just tell me one thing: is it what I thought you think it was? No, don't bother. Here comes a scene much more important.
What is Gossip Girl talking about? Blair didn't loose anything. She's made of win, and so is Chuck.

For the Love of Chair

2008-12-09T15:13:00.006+01:00

Thank goodness Kristin cares for CB as much as we do.

Though it might not seem like there is much hope for a shiny, blissed-out future for our beloved Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Blair (Leighton Meester), a reliable insider assures me, "Chuck and Blair aren't just the Gossip Girl couple of the moment. They are the core Gossip Girl couple of the series. So you definitely will see much, much more of them in the days to come. The dance has just begun."
Still, for the time being, Chuck and Blair won't be together. We'll learn in the next episode (January 5, 2009) that he has fled the country on a path to self-destruction, which is why Bart's brother will be swinging into town.

Regardless, despite the teetering Chuck and broken glass in the promo below, the Basshole is so not dying. In fact, should there only be two characters left standing in the series finale, you better believe it would be those two gorgeous mugs seen waltzing above.

Also, the promo for January 5th is here. It seems as we're right back on track.

See? Chuck and Blair = OTP.
Die, Vanessa, die.

A small update: the infamous new teacher is gonna leer on Dan, not Chuck, yay. But she'll manage to get under Blair's skin anyway. She is Vanessa 2.0, but you know what? I say take the new teacher and throw Vanessa through the roof! That's a good opportunity to get rid of her forever.

Yet another update: Gossip Girl Insider got something else for us.

Q: I'm desperate. Please tell me something good about Gossip Girl!

A: Lily is going to be attacked ... by someone she knows.

Guess what? This is good.

2.12 It's a Wonderful Lie

2008-12-06T19:27:00.004+01:00

I can't stop ranting over the past 50 Gossip Girl episodes. Soon we'll have to make a poll to decide which one is the worst.
We are aware, we are so fucking aware, that Gossip Girl moves too fast. It can't hold a good storyline for long, with a gross resemblance to plain bad sex. Anyway, we're so accostumed to its speed that we're unable [oops] to enjoy the present episode, only thinking of the next one. Fearing, to be exact.
What's gonna happen when Bart dies? Is Jack Bass going to be the savior of the crappy scripts? Or is boring Lily&Rufus and irritatingVanessa taking over our screen?
Well, let's talk about it.
Lily has more chemistry with Bart, sorry. Bart was a poorly developed character, sadly. Rufus looks like a baby, but feels so old. Now Lily is, like, running for the major bitch award and she's totally gonna make it. Stay tuned for the next epis, and look for her here under the kind name of Jezabel.
Now, why is Vanessa getting so much exposure? Having Old Hollywood as a reference, we know how Marilyn Monroe did it... But let's not be unfair, since we know she's only having it off with Westwick. Man, GG's bad performances makes you moody.
But still, we don't like Vanessa. We don't like her at all. What should we do to let them know that? It must have something to do with torches.. We don't want her screwing Jenny, or Nate, for that matter. We don't want her messing with Blair's minions. We don't want her ANYWHERE near Chuck. Most importantly, we don't want her winning. Anything.

Besides these unpleasant matters, Blair looked gorgeous, Serena looked great, Jenny finally did something interesting since last season, Nate became the new Dan, and Chuck keeps taking things annoyingly slowly. Beta Chuck and New Blair also starred, brilliantly.
Yes, she wore the necklace, get over it. Kidding, my heart melt a little. That was good placement, imagine he had given her a Vitaminwater t-shirt, she would wear it everywhere.
I may be bitter now, but next episode is gonna be a blast!
... right?

Westwick and Szohr's PDA

2008-12-03T20:47:00.007+01:00

I just saw the following headline in NYMag:

Spotted: Vanessa and Chuck, KISSING

I swear I felt the tears forming in my eyes. For almost a whole minute, I was disgusted and enraged and about to put this blog onto hiatus, quitting Gossip Girl for good and finding another pop-cult addiction. Seriously. I thought they were filming.
I'm dead serious about loathing such a gross plotline. It would be unforgivable. And I can't be scared like this, for fuck's sake. For that minute, the entire minute, I was terrified, like something really important had happened.
Now I'll have nightmares about it until Blair catches her Chuck again, and get my CB again. Because you never know when the damn writers - that just lost the capital w, and for a reason - might come up with such a repugnant plot device.

Apalling.

P.S.: Westwick is a whore. And Crawford is nothing like Nate, except pretty and rich, but he's so not slutty and smokes cigarettes. I shall love him from now on.

P.S.2: Links later.

I expected more overdoses

2008-12-02T00:22:00.003+01:00

This promotional picture reminds me of when Gossip Girl seemed to have noir tendencies.

Sweet smell of stellar success

2008-11-30T01:11:00.012+01:00

I've just figured what's wrong [again] with Gossip Girl. The difference is that this time I can illustrate it.
Here it goes: this season doesn't remind me of perfume commercials! No, seriously. Season 2 simply smells funny.
Let's make a recap of last season through some good advertisement.

Once upon a time, there was a Park Avenue Princess called S...

The Upper East Side was ruled by B, who was such a lovely terrible person [she still is]. It was a shallow little chic world back then, when visits to the Ostroff Center felt a bazilion times more real than visiting Yale in Columbia.

Dan used to punch Chuck; Chuck used to be cool; Nate, well, we used to dream of ravishing him without thinking of DSTs...

After giving us the best.cat.fight.ever, B forgave S for sleeping around in unsanitary places like PJ Clarke's WC, calling a truce that lasted until Season 2 ruined it all.

On The Handmaiden's Tale, we wanted Chuck, who was best-friends with Blair, who wanted Nate, who wanted Serena, who wanted Dan, who even then didn't know what he wanted. Chuck eventually got it on with Blair, and an obsession was born.

But before she got our guy by string, Blair Bear had to bloom, by stripping her colonial dress in our favourite of all New Yorkish real and fictional clubs, and almost made Chuck choke with his pet booze.

Finally big-blue-eyed G came along, bringing the scandal back to the City. We lived happily ever after until the final 10 minutes of the season finale. And that was that.

2.11 The Magnificent Archibalds

2008-11-29T00:18:00.005+01:00

At last. Thank goodness for this break. I'll try to catch up with the episodes and rediscover my love for GG.

Previously on Gossip Girl... where? What? There he is: long live the Captain!
Why Vanessa always talk like that? She turns her head and speaks like she's enumerating something. It's getting annoying, Jessica-Sohr. Specially for two main reasons: a) it's exactly how the actress herself in real life speaks, and b) we saw her in The Dark Night, we know she can act. So, why isn't she?
We need to take a moment to talk of her eyeshadow separately. What is that? Is her sister a drag queen?
Claps for you, Crawford. He did fine this episode. The face he made when he first saw his dad after last season... "I missed you too, daddy. It's been like 11 episodes".
The thing about traditions is that you can make new ones? Hello? She said they aren't traditions if they're new! Am I the only one who remembers? I think I might just turn poor, because the Writers certainly make money by forgetting.
Lily is being to good for Jenny. It's not that I still hate Little J, but I would like a snob Lil better.
Westwick is as histrionic as ever. And in that purple thing. But at least Chuck didn't get a plotline where he becomes a rockstar wannabe with his own crude indie rock band... uh, wait a minute -
Moving on, keep your tomatoes. Gramercy Tavern! Uhh, now I get it. A lot of fanfictions started to mention stuff about Chuck making reservations at Blair's favourite restaurant, left and right. It was bugging me badly, I thought maybe it was an old and notorious data, but no. All those people decided to put this precious information into use at the same time. And by that I mean after it was casually released this episode. You can read me rolling my eyes. But that's fine, because, according to the Writers, all and every event in NYC happens in the Palace, so it's okay to wear us out.
"Oh my God, you're right". "It's not that rare... is it?" He's getting a clue.
"Would you do me a favour and tell Serena's family hi for me? 'Cause we spent last year's Thanksgiving together". WORST lines of the episode. What the hell? There are so many things wrong with that sentence, quoth Waldorf.
Now Vanessa is talking to Nate, and the cold made marvellous things to her hair, seriously. Finally.
So the FBI wants to interrogate Vanessa. Who ARE the people writing these scripts? No one from the Government interrogates kids since that girl interpelled by the CIA because she bashed the President on the internet. Duh.
I was about to say I didn't completely despise this episode, before Chuck got all best pals with Vanessa. I'm sure they do that to torture ME. Can't Vanessa get a storyline for a change? She's always being inserted here and there, but becoming Chuck's friend? And what is this about Chuck being acquaitanceless? He lacks true friends, but he's popular. He used to be. Now he's a smarmy pimp who doesn't throw bashes anymore, doesn't get invited to anything, dresses like a 30 years old from the 1930s and hires hookers everynight. This monster isn't my Chuck.
Blair, on the other hand, is no monster. She won't deny the ducks their dinner.
The FBI agent waited Vanessa and Chuck announce the situation before entering the room. That was so lame I can't begin to describe.
"I'll let you three talk it over". Dude, I'm so offended. Are we fans that dumb? I lost my respect for the Writers. They're not almighty, they're retarded. On the other hand, I like Nate a lot more now that he stopped manwhoring and became a real man.
Kudos for the guy who came up with Serena's visit as a solution to find Blair's whereabouts. I'm sure it wasn't the Writers. It was the janitor. Those ones would come up with something quite grotesque like Eleanor and Mr Hall looking for her in every corner of the City [which would take about 15 minutes, as the Humphreys taught us] and the latter would save B from drowning in a fountain. Or they'd use Vanessa. Whatever.
"What? Is it my hair?" Girl needs to keep the composure.
Nate got his newly found acting predicates from his mother. She's terrific. As all the mothers in this show. Wait, I said it too soon. He's once again with that puppy face getting all sassy with stupid Vanessa.
Aaron is being sweet to Serena now that he's "sober". Last episodes it was the booze talking.
Just a final note: I don't know whether Vanessa is gonna hide the letter, confront Nate or pretend to be the better person and reunite the both of them. The thing is that she's a intruder, perpetually, repeatedly, sickishly.

Leighton Meester just gets better, better and better

2008-11-28T13:56:00.004+01:00

Because, seriously, have you seen this?

Blair Cornelia Waldorf is the reason why we watch this show. There's no CB without B, needless to say. I'm not a big fan of stalking the cast, you know? I entirely don't give a shit for the fact that her and Westwick are into music and wah wah wah, but this girl - she's an outstanding actress AND gorgeous. And she is in Gossip Girl. 'Cause, of course, if she was in 90210 I wouldn't care a bit.