It’s been a long while since I’ve written here on our blog.  Last post I wrote was in December 2011 on Disconnect to Connect in 2012.  A lot has happened since then.   A more updated summarized version of those months to be written later, but today is Valentine’s Day (well at least it is still in other parts of the world) and I wanted to record a bit about how we spent it.

Actually, it was just another ordinary day for us.

M made some Valentine’s Day cards for some of her friends. She’s always doing something thoughtful for her friends like a note or a homemade card,or  something!!   J made lunch for M and took her to school.  J and I both spent a few hours on-line  in the morning each doing our own things. I actually taught a Burmese lesson this morning.   Yaay,  after almost two months of not teaching!

We were instructed by M’s teacher that we needed to bring oranges for M’s sport’s day tomorrow so we made our way to one of the markets here in Chiang Mai, in search of oranges (and coconuts).  We stopped at our friend’s restaurant, Free Style for a bite to eat as it was already lunch time.

My Mom and I had Shan yellow noodle salad and J had pork and garlic (a new dish we tried there).  We took pictures of our food, which is something we do often.   After lunch and a chat with Nong, the Chef at Free Style,  we headed toward Maung Mai market to find oranges and coconuts.  We not only came home with oranges and coconuts, we also came home with a load of veggies.

After returning home from the market, we rested at home (I especially needed to rest my right arm since I was in a motorbike accident recently, all by myself,  that banged-me up real good.  I was practicing. Sigh….).  Then we realised we needed to run to Tesco Lotus to withdraw some cash and pay the internet bill.

While at Tesco Lotus walking around looking for oatmeal, muesli and such J surprised me with these flowers and hearts for Valentine’s Day (I couldn’t keep them, I was only allowed to take pictures with them).  See?

Lovely, I said, and agreed for a picture for keepsakes like this post.

Then J insisted that I share ice cream with him, because, well,  it’s Valentines’ Day!  Really I wasn’t craving for ice cream but being the dutiful wife that I am, agreed, as it is after all, Valentine’s Day. And so, we went to.. wait for it.. Dairy Queen possibly for ice cream because I had to check out my options- it’s a Valentine’s Day treat after all.   We looked up on the menu board and  found this—–!  Trust me, tis not something  I would find anywhere else in the world!

Green tea and red beans shake! YUM!

It wasn’t so bad actually.  I really liked it.  Thanks honey for the adventurous trip out to  Tesco Lotus for this tasty drink.  Oh and for the record,  it’s our first time going to a Dairy Queen here in Thailand. On the way out of Tesco Lotus, I joked with J that I too have found Jeremy Lin–  in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

We head back home on our motorbike and got ready to head out for dinner a couple of hours later.   M wanted Japanese food so we  went to one of our favorite places close to where we used to live.   Nice filling dinner for the four of us where we enjoyed salmon teri yaki, tempura,  spider rolls, a pizza sushi for the price of 456b = $15.20. We splurged because we don’t eat out all the time. We could, but we don’t.

Sooo well, NO, we didn’t spend extravagant amount of money on each other.   I didn’t get any overpriced flowers or chocolates.  Who wants all that when I can have green tea and rad beans?  We also spent a nice evening together at dinner, even walked off our dinner at the nearby mall – Kad Suan Kaew.

It was another ordinary day!  Why? Because I spent the morning  promoting to the world and anyone who would “listen or read” about the non-profit organizations I work with here in Chaing Mai, their projects and their efforts, their needs via social media tools including our blog.  J and I discussed possible and potential projects we might consider in the future.  J told me something about phones, particularly Nokia, I’m pretty sure.  He tells me something about phones and stuff everyday. I responded to emails to individuals interested in volunteering.  I sent emails to our realtor in Houston regarding the set-up to put our house back on the market.  We spent time talking to our friend about how we can help her promote her new cozy restaurant (true humble beginnings, but a proud one).  And I read up on news about Burma (that new e-visa thing sounds good but prob not for us- go figure) and dreaming of the next trip home with my little family while J read up about more phones and did podcast tech review on Jeremy Lin.  I cleaned the house (a little),  did laundry,  talked to M about homework, reading, keeping her room cleaned, getting her hair trimmed, etc. while I made plans with my Mom about what we’re going to eat tomorrow for lunch!  And somehow, everyday, J manages to teach classes from our 2nd floor room with good internet access (thank goodness)  to a bunch of college students in US cities like Washington and soon, San Antonio.   So yes, it was another ordinary day in our household.

And in a nutshell, today was a good day like many of our other days.  I’ve had my share of bad days and I’ve had my share of woes and foes.   But I feel at ease and at peace that we are able to help and support others succeed in their journeys. We are grateful that there is a sense and a presence of generosity and kindness in our daily lives.   And we  are always in gratitude for what we do have in our lives – each other.

On that note, I wish you generosity and kindness not just on Valentine’s Day but everyday!

Video from KarmaTube

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. – Cherie Carter Scott

In October, we wrote a post about how online overdose is harmful to our family.  We tried our best to explain why we disconnected. Unfortunately,  we found that our actions had some unintended consequences.  We are truly saddened and disappointed by the reactions from some of our friends. We have learned a lot about the people in our lives from this “unfriending” process.

If we have hurt you in some way by “unfriending” on Facebook, for what it is worth, please accept our sincere apologies. Honestly, the important thing to us is not about being friends on an online social network, but that you, whoever you are, are our friend in person.  And for us, it is really about doing what’s best for us as a family.

We still feel strongly about our decision and we don’t regret it. Frankly, when I see videos like these (below) they make me cry big and hate myself because I know that I am guilty of these actions where people around me (i.e., my family) “disappeared.”  In the long-run, I know deep down that there could be far more damaging consequences. I cannot take that lightly.

The following news clip is outdated for sure (as FB has over 750 million users), but the main points are still

pertinent.

Two days ago, we received an email from a family we met in Luang Prabang in Feb., 2011. They proved to me that even though we probably could have been FB friends along the way (we’ve not been), they have made sincere effort to stay connected with us. They sent us a holiday e-card,  a family picture from the Great Wall of China. I don’t take that lightly. Thanks to the family from Kunming, China whom we met during our short jaunt to Laos for staying connected with us.

Just today, as I was surfing on the web, I discovered this post on 35 gifts your children will never forget and the quote at the top of the post struck me hard. The gift list serves as an excellent guide for parents, though #32 and #33 in particular resonated with me.  A good reminder to me that my husband and my daughter need me, my time and effort to truly stay connected to them, just like I need them to do the same.

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” – Kahlil Gibran

A few months ago I met a talented artist named Lili during an art exhibition at Sangdee Gallery.  I’ve seen Lili’s name pop up here and there as well as her art work in Chiang Mai.  Most recently I discovered this website and I send Lili my respect for her time and talent she shares, thereby connecting with underprivileged children. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how we might be able to collaborate and connect in the coming year.

And the other day, I came upon this blog full of humility and humanity, reminding me of how short and fragile life truly is and that in the bigger picture of being connected, I know deep down I would rather be connecting with loved ones and friends in person whenever possible.  I haven’t met Randy in person though I have noticed his presence at one of our favorite local cafes in Chiang Mai for which he humbly raised money as his birthday wish.   To Randy, I send my deepest respect.

I’ll be returning home in less than a month and I know being on-line is the least of my worries and certainly not at all a priority while I am there. My priority will be spending time and connecting with family I’ve not seen in over three years.  My priority will be on making an effort to help my daughter understand many things about my home and why I worked so hard to have the life we have today to raise her in an Asian country. We’ve lived in Chiang Mai for over a year and this will be our first time returning home, M’s first time to see where her Mommy was born and raised for 12 years.  And that I do not take lightly.

It’s December 22 in Thailand, 3 days before Christmas as I sit in bed trying to recover from a bad, bad cold and not a worry about wrapping one gift.  Frankly, I agree with this quote wholeheartedly!  “The gifts that will bring your heart lasting joy aren’t laying under your Christmas tree” via becoming minimalist. .And speaking of gifts, do try to remember those who truly need a holiday gift.

As I ponder and look back on 2011, I have very few regrets on the way we’ve lived our lives.  We’re not perfect.  We’ve made our share of mistakes and learned.  There’s always room for learning and growing in our lives.  To be honest, we still have a lot of work to do on disconnecting regularly, to be more present so we can be connected to each other.  It’s a juggle.  It’s a struggle.

We’re proud and thankful we’ve had our chance of being decent human beings, making decent contributions to humanity with humility in 2011.

And the work must go on.  The challenge is to remain faithful to the service work we came to do here in Thailand, which require some online time, and to retain balance by giving our time to each other as a family.

With that we move forward to 2012.

Here’s one of my favorite videos this year.  I share it as a gift to you.   We wish everyone a happy holiday season filled with wonderful experiences and memories.

“May the people around you today are blessed by you.Just by your eyes, and your smiles. By your touch. Just by your presence.  Let the gratefulness overflow into blessings all around you.”

We’ve been very busy living mindfully, laughing much and counting our blessings, often.  It’s difficult to limit ourselves giving thanks on just one day of the year because honestly, it really ought to be every day.

Just in the past week, we drove to Mae Sai, the most northern tip of Thailand for the nth time and explored (combined with a visa run of course!).  On the way back, we went looking for a giant tree and we found it. We also hiked 1400m to see the Khunkhorn waterfall 19km from the White temple in Chiang Rai. We decided to skip the temple this time and went on a waterfall hunt..

Later in the week, M participated in the Assembly for the second time where acting and dancing were involved surrounded by her friends at her school. She walked like an Egyptian and so did her friends.

She helped me raise funds and awareness about two local community based organizations and this coffee shop at her school’s community garage sale. It will be our second time this year.

We felt privileged, as we do on a daily basis, to be included in the celebrations of the Shan New Year for the second time since our arrival to Chiang Mai in June of 2010. We listened to Shan music and saw elegant dances and ate delicious Shan food.

M attended her first balloon festival  this week.  Extraordinary in the eyes of an 8 year-old child while adults might easily say “oh, it’s just another festival!”

As we slowly made our way in amazement, to the alms offering ceremony at 6:30am, we reminded ourselves of how fortunate we are in the midst of 12,600 monks from all over Thailand, in a sea of humanity (equally significant as those we participated in Luang Prabang when she was seven and those we will soon participate when we return home),

As of yesterday, 27th November 2011, M reunited with her grandparents (my parents) here in Chiang Mai after living here for 18 months.

All in the same week, we received the most heart-warming message from one of her uncles (my youngest brother) who returned home to Burma after thirty-one years.  He was only three, I was twelve and my other brother was eleven when we left.  I’ve been told that my father had less than $50 to his name and bravely lead all five of us to the land of the free, the land of opportunities.  And opportunities we did have. Thirty one years later, just look at all of us!   I proudly admit that my parents did the most with the little they had to raise us to become kind-hearted global citizens.   And frankly, the world can always use a few more of those.

And soon we will reunite with my extended family members and M will visit her mommy’s home country for the very first time.

This week, I find myself listening to this video often.  Thanks to my brother, in a faraway land in which many of us cannot fathom surviving, who shared it on Facebook.

Message to M:  “May we recognize that the simple things in life are the most extraordinary.” Via Paulo Coelho  Dear M: love that most things you do are the most extraordinary things for you, the greatest things you’ve experienced for you at that moment while you are doing, experiencing them. 

It’s been hectic, I won’t deny it.  Moving into a “new” place needing various minor and major projects and coordinating them, living out of suitcases while all of our belongings spread about with no sense of order in the home can all be at times stressful. Dealing with reliable and unreliable workers, the realtor, home owner, shop owners as well as some language barriers can all be overwhelming as well. We’ve had very little time for anything else.   So much is going on that J struggles with his projects while I do with mine having no desk or chair or time to work within our new dig.   Because by the time we think we are ready for our projects, we’re exhausted from dealing with so many other matters. I’ve had many migraines and sleepless nights while laying in bed physically and mentally exhausted (the horrible cement of a bed doesn’t help much either).  Last few months have been tough for all of us. Oh, we’ve also discovered mosquitoes of unusual sizes and bugs of all kinds around here. But that’s a small matter I guess considering all  the other issues. I suppose we need more geckos.  And yes, we’re adjusting from having a one-bedroom tiny apartment to now having three floors.

Oh and top of all this, our visas expire in less than a week.

The Silver Lining:

M has plenty of Thai neighbor kids to play with. One of them is a kid in her class.  She is enjoying more playdates now than ever before in Thailand.  She may even have a sleepover soo, now that there is an extra bed in M’s room.

I know that slowly, our home will come together the way we envisioned it to be and slowly able to serve as a place for English tutoring center.

In less than a month, my parents will be here and we have space to accommodate them. And for the first time, my parents will reunite with us and stay with us in Asia, in Thailand and a possible jaunt to Burma, together. That’s a big deal for me and my family because it will be M’s first time to Burma.

It’s comforting to know my youngest brother will be with my parents in Burma for the first time in 30+ years. I’m proud of my little brother for making that giant leap.  And soon, he may even visit us here in Thailand.

My other brother has been here with us for almost 2 weeks now.  We’ve been busy with many visits to restaurants enjoying delicious northern Thai food and all the places to see and experience in Chiang Mai and Northern Thailand.  Even though, on some days, we’re just enjoying good food and company (not necessarily visiting a significant attraction in Thailand), it’s still time well spent.  Now, I just hope he comes back to visit us again soon and he’s not even left us yet.

Today is the famous Lanna Lantern Ceremony or festival or Yee Peng in Chiang Mai and I feel especially grateful that I will get to experience this festival for the second time in my life with my little family!  My brother will be here to enjoy this wonderful, once in a lifetime spiritual experience with us.

I’m thankful that I woke up this morning with my heart still beating inside my chest. I’m thankful that I have a roof over my head while many in the South are struggling to hold   on to theirs.  I’m thankful we have access to food and water as many parts of the world do not have the luxury.  I’m thankful for the friends who chose to keep our company. I’m thankful that though a small family we are, that we have each other, can rely on one another, and that we are together physically.  I’m thankful I have my vision and a sense of wonder to be able to appreciate the sights, the smells, the sounds and the surroundings of the Lantern ceremony for yet another time.  I’m thankful that we will have another year of living and serving here in Chiang Mai.

To everyone, our friends we will see, friends we won’t see, travelers, expats and local friends visiting the ceremony tonight- I wish you a safe journey to the meditation center.  Most importantly, I wish for you a day and night filled with joy and peacefulness that I felt at the last year’s ceremony and that I know and look forward to feeling again surrounded by my little family.

Wow.  What a busy week it’s been.

Last Sunday (8th October, 2011),  we signed another one-year lease with a new place (a house) close to M’s school.  We’re excited about the possibilities that the space will bring for our goals of having a tutoring center, being closer to M’s school and friends, having a view of Doi Suthep, space for family visits, and allowing us to have gatherings with friends for delicious homemade food.

Monday: we went shopping for groceries and appliances.

Tuesday: A went on a field trip with M’s class (20+ kiddos) as a parent chaperone to the King’s farm while J stayed home to catch-up on work,

That’s a bunch of 8 yo’s learning how to prep the soil before planting rice.  They basically got to become one with the mud!  They learned about sustainability and being economically self-sufficient (I don’t think some of them can even pronounce those words, but it was pretty cool still!).   They learned how to make paper, pottery, plant rice and most importantly, they got to ride on a buffalo.  What a cool field trip, eh?

Wednesday: we went hunting for appliances and paint.  Finding appliances was they easy part, but finding paint and supplies was a bit more challenging and adventurous.  So exciting-  DIY in Chiang Mai. We actually bought a fridge, a washer, and a gas cook-top for less than $400. Eeek!

Thursday: was parent-teacher conference day with M’s teachers. She’s doing very well in school according to Ms. Carol  M’s Thai has improved significantly this year thanks to Ms. Jane, her Thai teacher.

More about M:  For Halloween, the entire Year 4 class is prepping to scare the secondary high school students and they are using only recyclable items to decorate their classroom for Halloween celebrations.   This is a serious assignment and M’s has been planning all week. She is also the story-teller and the writer (Scribe is how she refers to the role) for Year 4  Assembly in November.

We’ve been unplugged since Thursday evening.  This weekend is a special weekend in away that we get to experience a little bit of Hollywood.  The last 3 days have been exciting and exhausting at the same time for our family. 

No matter how this turns out, we are thankful for the opportunity and experience working with a group of nice people from diverse backgrounds and different parts of the world. A lot more on this later. 

Friday:  we met up with a group of friends at Akha Ama for brunch and we are thankful once again that they are a part of our journey here in Thailand.

Saturday:  Another busy day with a visit to our new home, Wat Suan Dok, and Chiang Mai Food Festival.

Today, Sunday,  is another special day in several ways.  Last day of our mini-Hollywood-experience, but more importantly, we greet the first family member at the Chiang Mai airport visiting us in Thailand. Yee Peng 2011 will be that much more special with my brother’s presence here in Chiang Mai.

We are super excited for his arrival.

Message to M:  We begin another chapter of our lives at our new home in Chiang Mai.  Looking forward to creating a new space just for you in our new place.  Many play dates await.

Our epiphany as individuals and as parents has been brewing for some time now – and we finally sat down (offline) and talked about it.  Since we work & volunteer online, use and consume social media, have blogs, etc., we’ve become horrible at unplugging when necessary. No structure.  No boundaries.  Constantly connected, staring at glowing screens, large and small.

The same social media tools that brought so many interesting new people into our lives, are the same tools that are in effect taking time away from family.  Our digital life has been interfering with our analog life, so we needed to refocus on what’s (and who’s) important & make certain we don’t neglect those priorities.

It’s not you.  It’s us!

Many people were ‘un-friended’ (what a horrible word, eh?) from our individual FB accounts, close to 200 between both accounts, but we’re NOT trying to literally lose friends we’ve made in recent years through social media. In other words, it is not an act of war.  Especially the travel bloggers (you know who you are), we are following your pages via our page. 

We realize that the “FB unfriending” thing is NOT the most popular decision.  People’s feelings may have been hurt and perhaps even some misunderstandings.  Truth is, we still want to keep our friendships and association, but, preferably, in-person. Our decision was based on what’s best for our family.

If you find yourself in Chiang Mai (intentionally or otherwise), and see us on the streets, please don’t throw rotten fruit at us.  Please don’t take ‘un-friending’ (really don’t like this word) literally, as there are other means of communication that still exist. Also, neither one of us has ever intentionally ‘blocked’ anyone (only spammers as well as  rude & disrespectful people) on our FB accounts.

We like the fact that we can still maintain FB friendships via groups and pages on FB.

FB has been a real struggle for A in the recent months and reduced her individual FB contacts merely as an attempt to restore her sanity.  It was not an easy process by any means. She is focusing more on her role as a Mother to M and her responsibilities (nearly all online) managing 6 FB pages, 2 FB groups, 5 Twitter accounts and 2 Sparked.com accounts, in addition to assisting with fundraising for one organization, recruiting volunteers for others and raising awareness for these real and important needs.

It is a fact that we are not hosting meet-ups here in Chiang Mai as we did last year.  We are still very much open to meeting existing and new friends in person for delicious food and a good time. Honest!

Here’s one way to look at all  this:  10 years from now, what will matter more? That we made an effort to remain friends in-person whenever possible despite the “unfriended status on FB” or that we remain” unfriended”  in person also?  How will we come out on the other side?  Only time will tell.

It’s sad, but true.  We’ve become undisciplined by not placing limits on our time online, thereby not giving M and ourselves the quality face-to -ace time we need.  We need to unplug and pay attention to the real people around us.

This weekend we managed to stay unplugged long enough to enjoy Chiang Mai, such as spending time at markets, indoor playground with M’s Korean friends, test driving bicycles and keyboards for M, shopping for appliances for the future house, and spent this afternoon at the park, feeding the pigeons.

We (just now) decided NOT to add a photo or cute video of M being mobbed by pigeons, because it will keep us plugged in longer, which means we’re likely to browse FB, tweet a bit, read up on G+ and Google Reader, check email (but not respond because too much is going on) — and it’s 10:30pm on a Sunday night, and we’d like to put away J’s laptop by 11:00pm, so we can get enough rest to take care of important things on Monday.

A few ways to stay connected with us and we sincerely hope that you do:

GotPassport (at) Gmail.com

Our FB Page

Our G+ Page

Photo Credit: CMSWire.com

Message to M: We are sorry for keeping one eye on our glowing screens, and one eye on you, when we should be unplugged, to give you our undivided attention.