got sound?

more flickr favourites

2006-06-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

my current favourites from flickr

2006-06-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

i'll love you until my veins explode

2006-04-06T18:43:00.000-07:00

november 29, 2005. pretty girls make graves had a gig at lucky bar, the same place with pinback's and mates of state's gigs that i went to. jolly great!, i thought, i came there excited for the show, and left more than satisfied.

i was more impressed with the paper cranes, a local indie slash new wave band which opened the show and, yes, stole the night with glamour indeed. just the other day i stumbled upon this track review from pitchfork media—notably the best music review website today—of their clap-hard-and-dance-wild single, i'll love you until my veins explode, which scores 4 stars, hands down. i was psyched! later i found out that they're releasing a debut EP on april 25, but of course i simply cannot wait that long.

so what did i do? i went to their myspace site, added them to my friends list, which inconspicuously led to this back-and-forth messaging with james watson—the drummer slash percussion guy—who also goes to uvic for school, and agreed to meet with him in front of a coffee shop on campus yesterday.

as you can see from the picture, their EP is now sitting on my desk, even before the official release date. just can't wait until they release their debut album. maybe i can be on their guest list. haha.

things to be missed #74

2006-03-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

i went home today with a million things in my head and an exhausted body ready to get thrown to the bed and not care about anything else. i was just so sick of everything i got to the point when i don't even want to think about what i have to do tonight and tomorrow. after finished loading up my groceries in the kitchen i was going to take a shower, when my roommate, who's moving back to japan in two weeks, caught me walking down the hall, running furiously and threw me a big, fat, hug, so hard and comforting it almost got me crying.

—i wanna hug you forever, she said. —from now on, i will hug you as long as i can, everytime i see you, she confirmed.

and i wouldn't let her release our embrace for the longest time.

a new beginning

2006-03-10T03:22:00.000-08:00

i remember when i applied for the position, still naive and had no idea what i was going to get myself into. i also remember when i was appointed as a proxy for three weeks, even before my official term started—i was thrown into the situation with very little preparation.

around two weeks ago when my term officially started, i was surprisingly calm and ready. i was excited for sure, but not scared nor nervous. my predecessor could only shook his head when i told him i felt pretty confident at the time. yes, there were a lot of things to be done, and not everyone seemed to be on the same page. but i've learned not to worry about getting everything right the first time. —i will grow, i reassured myself. and so i started fresh, putting all the puzzle pieces together, emails, reminders, and meetings everyday, with no time restriction. —i have good people, i told myself. —you don't have to worry too much. i ony had three things in my head: focus, purpose, goals. i did nothing but concentrating on those three.

last tuesday we had the meeting with the board. went really well. sure, things could've been better and i could've done some stuff that i didn't think about at the moment. but overall the presentation was smooth and the feedback was very positive. —it's just a matter of putting them into action, the chair concluded, followed by everyone smiled the victory smile to each other.

post-meeting? i have been slacking. —i deserve a time for myself, i justified it. there has been a lot of overcommiting issues, and i was making sure i'm not gonna be the next victim.

the truth is, i am much less confident now than i was two weeks ago. the truth is, i am beginning to worry about things that are not even happening. —it's normal, my predecessor told me when i complained about my mixed feelings, you are always gonna be in a constant state of worrying, because at the end it is your baby. i did not argue, believing that this is just a phase that i need to go through and it will pass one day. but i look around and i was beginning to see people on the verge of getting burnt out, and the last person that they want to see got burnt out too would be me. yes, it's hard to keep the spirit up but you gotta do what you gotta do. and i dutifully keep the ball rolling, try to enthuse everyone up. come on, this is just the beginning, we have a long street ahead of us.

yesterday two of my great friends—one of them is my predecessor—got the news that they got the job that they wanted. one in brazil, another in singapore. i was beyond excited, but at the same time, couldn't help but thinking, —what am i gonna do next?

this morning

2006-03-09T23:27:00.000-08:00

second week of march and this is what i got when i look outside of my window. hail, rain, snow, and sunshine all in one day.

gotta love it when you can blame everything on global warming. hah.

wishing more days like this

2006-01-31T00:13:00.000-08:00

when everything goes (not) so well

2006-01-30T23:24:00.000-08:00

just the other day, a friend of mine who just found out about my weekly schedule asked me,

—how do you have time for all that?

the truth is, i don't know. i still have to work on my time management, because even though i'm somewhat more organized than the average joe, when it comes to priorities i prefer to use my gut. it's more of a sporadic thought sorting rather than a condusive decision making. you would think that something bad would come out of it.

that's what i thought, too. and right about this moment, everything goes so well. too well, i would say.

and when nothing has gone wrong, you become nervous. you wonder what might be waiting ahead of you.

i had a three-hour long conversation with a really close friend a couple of nights ago, debating about which path we should take when we don't even know our options. at the very end we reassured each other that if it's beyond our control, then we shouldn't worry about it. i told another friend about our conclusion when she remarked,

—and this comes from you! you should've known better before this, mil.

of course she's right. so i'm guilty as charged, because i have been worrying, while i got what i can control under my control. but it's also my fault that the other parts of my life have been pretty much abandoned. i don't know how to take care of myself anymore.

my hearing problem, for example. my jaw complication. my sleeping habit. my diet. oh, my spare time.

gone are the days when i can take such things for granted.

guess i just have to live with it.

bogus

2006-01-19T00:08:00.000-08:00

i hate that i don't have time for myself no more
i hate that my mind's too fucked up
i hate that i'm losing my creativity
i hate that my focus has shifted to something else
i hate that despite all these i wallow with glee

movies i saw in 2005

2006-01-09T23:49:00.000-08:00

to preserve the tradition i started last year of listing movies i've seen in chronological order yearly. inclusive january 1st to december 31st, first time views only.

1. ray
2. napoleon dynamite
3. i heart huckabees
4. the yes men (doc)
5. primer
6. stage beauty (uk, germany, usa)
7. dogville (denmark, sweden, france, norway, netherlands, finland, germany, usa, uk) [dvd]
8. taxi driver [dvd]
9. better luck tomorrow [dvd]
10. wilby wonderful (canada)
11. moonlight mile [dvd]
12. lagaan (india) [dvd]
13. kinsey (usa, germany)
14. closer
15. enduring love (uk)
16. hotel rwanda (canada, uk, italy, south africa)
17. born into brothels (india, usa) (doc)
18. being julia (canada, usa, hungary, uk)
19. finding neverland
20. my life without me (canada) [dvd]
21. edward scissorhands [dvd]
22. p.s. [dvd]
23. man on the train (france, germany, uk, switzerland) [dvd]
24. a very long engangement (france, usa)
25. the merchant of venice (usa, italy, luxembourg, uk)
26. the phantom of the opera (usa, uk)
27. the aviator
28. bad education (spain)
29. the assasination of richard nixon
30. veronica guerin (ireland, usa, uk) [dvd]
31. requiem for a dream [dvd]
32. possession (usa, uk) [dvd]
33. monsoon wedding [dvd]
34. russian ark (russia, germany) [dvd]
35. the return (russia)
36. waking life [dvd]
37. the interpreter
38. the sea inside (spain)
39. million dollar baby
40. alfie (uk, usa) [dvd]
41. ned kelly (australia, uk, france) [dvd]
42. confessions of a dangerous mind (usa, canada, germany) [dvd]
43. jackie brown [dvd]
44. in the cut (usa, uk, australia) [dvd]
45. kingdom of heaven (usa, spain, uk)
46. gosford park (uk, usa, germany, italy) [dvd]
47. ong-bak (thailand)
48. JFK (usa, france) [dvd]
49. rory o'shea was here (uk)
50. inside deep throat (doc)
51. the future of food (usa, canada) (doc)
52. bride and prejudice (uk, usa)
53. the world (china, japan, france)
54. wicker park [dvd]
55. the shawshank redemption [dvd]
56. osama (afghanistan, netherlands, japan, ireland, iran) [dvd]
57. tarnation (part doc)
58. the magdalene sisters (ireland, uk) [dvd]
59. natural born killers [dvd]
60. thelma & louise [dvd]
61. trapped (usa, germany) [dvd]
62. the usual suspects (usa, germany) [dvd]
63. in my country (country of my skull) (uk, ireland, south africa)
64. de-lovely (usa, uk) [dvd]
65. in this world (uk) [dvd]
66. war of the worlds
67. star wars episode iii: revenge of the sith
68. melinda and melinda
69. birth [dvd]
70. in good company [dvd]
71. dear frankie (uk)
72. turtles can fly (iran, france, iraq)
73. the stepford wives [dvd]
74. control room (doc) [dvd]
75. 24 hour party people (uk, france, netherlands) [dvd]
76. the ballad of jack and rose
77. walk on water (israel, sweden)
78. cinema paradiso (italy)
79. look at me (france, italy)
80. crash (usa, germany)
81. mean girls [dvd]
82. the notebook [dvd]
83. downfall (germany, italy, austria)
84. to die for [dvd]
85. the village [dvd]
86. oldboy (south korea)
87. spring, summer, fall, winter... and spring (south korea, germany) [dvd]
88. the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy (usa, uk)
89. ten (iran, france, usa) [dvd]
90. sabah (canada)
91. quill (japan)
92. charlie and the chocolate factory (usa, uk)
93. saving face
94. virgin (indonesia) [dvd]
95. 30 hari mencari cinta (indonesia) [dvd]
96. enron: the smartest guy in the room (doc)
97. brownies (indonesia) [dvd]
98. mysterious skin (usa, netherlands)
99. biola tak berdawai (indonesia) [dvd]
100. exiles (france, japan)
101. eiffel... i'm in love (indonesia) [dvd]
102. the constant gardener (usa, uk)
103. scarface [dvd]
104. my summer of love (uk)
105. me and you and everyone we know
106. last days
107. broken wings (israel)
108. wedding crashers [dvd]
109. saw 2
110. howl's moving castle (japan)
111. scared sacred (canada) (doc)
112. seoul train (doc)
113. harry potter and the goblet of fire (usa, uk)
114. three seasons (usa, vietnam) [dvd]
115. dazed and confused [dvd]
116. igby goes down [dvd]
117. everything is illuminated
118. touching the void (uk) [dvd]
119. the house of fools (russia, france) [dvd]
120. all about my mother (spain, france) [dvd]
121. rosentrasse (germany, netherlands) [dvd]
122. the way home (south korea) [dvd]
123. ice age [dvd]
124. hope springs (uk, usa) [dvd]
125. seducing doctor lewis (canada) [dvd]
126. march of the penguins (france) [dvd]
127. liam (uk, germany, france) [dvd]
128. lolita [dvd]
129. carandiru (brazil) [dvd]

index:
orange = highly recommended!
gray = it proves that there's no justice in the world
blue = country of production (if left blank means usa)
doc = documentary
dvd = pretty self-explanatory

the way-too-delayed compulsory year-in review

2006-01-08T02:37:00.000-08:00

in 2005, i...

didn't go home (i.e. indonesia) at all

missed both of my sisters' weddings

became an uncle of two little angels

got elected as the local chapter president of an organization that i more than love

watched more movies than ever before (more of this to come)

didn't go to as many gigs as i wanted (the notable two were pretty girls make graves and the paper cranes)

both started and ended the year in the prairies

missed a lot of good friends

found a lot of great friends

understood myself for the first time

found a whole new genre of music which i relish

got two part time jobs

lost love

got inspired and inspired others

had the lowest gpa so far

pretty much gave up the idea of updating this blog at least once a week

moved to a new house with three incredible friends

got brainwashed

bought myself an iPod and a new digital camera. gadget freak, i know.

got even more fascinated by photography, art, and all that tart

couldn't wait for 2006 to come

what a year! let's just see what 2006 has to offer. 'til then,

downfall

2005-12-15T05:04:00.000-08:00

funny how it all comes down to this.

i knew it will happen. the inevitable. the thought of just letting it happen did slip into my mind. it's not like what i'd do would change the end result.

fuckin coward, you piece of shit. not even a fight? cummon, show that at least you still have a dignity, that you at least try to strategize a counter-attack.

so i tried. to no avail, but yes i tried.

i'm a people gazer. this past week, i still gaze at random people, but i focus more on people that, when i look at them, this thought comes in my mind.

i wish i would never end up being like them.

harsh? maybe. but i can't help it. starts from that, and it invariably turns to more thoughts.

how would it feels like, if i am them? maybe the end result of what would happen is going to be very different. maybe things will turn out to be easier. maybe it is better to have a life like theirs.

i would watch them from the corner of my eyes, framing every single detail that i could possibly notice. their tanned necks. the coffee stains. their stubble. the way they walk. the way they brush their hair. the way they wear their crooked glasses, ripped jeans, and baggy shirts. the way they notice someone is watching them closely.

more thoughts in my mind.

where did they grow up? what were their parents? did they have a happy childhood? were they famous during highschool? were they feel alienated? if they look at me, what kind of thoughts would come to their mind?

i thought again,

what would they do if they are put into my situation?

and i continue doing what i have been doing. trying my best to concentrate. one, two.

flashes of random, almost forgotten memories flickered through my head.

i was a sixth grader, and it was the very last day of my elementary school years. everyone in the class was flocked together on the main hall's stage and given a small envelope which contains a piece of paper declaring whether we pass or we fail. from the stage i could see my mother looking intently at me amidst the crowd of anxious parents. my heart was beating very hard. i thought to myself, this is it. the moment of humiliation has arrived. suddenly the school's principal announced that we can open the envelopes we're holding as of that second. everyone abruptly tore their envelopes and let out screams of joy. some were hugging their neighbouring friends. some ran directly to their parents. i was taking my time, opening the envelope slowly. a friend of mine asked me what was my result. i shrugged with apprehension before i flipped my paper and read the result.

another one.

i didn't want to open the door of my room. my parents just came home from getting my school report. this was probably when i was in the tenth grade. i thought i bombed my math class, and i didn't want to hear my parents' lecture about it. I didn't want to hear that the next term i have to take an extra math tutorial after school. i waited for a knock on the door for a long time.

and another one.

i was on a small boat, on the way to gili air island from lombok, sitting facing my dad. we were on a holiday celebrating my graduation from high school. the boat's machine was roaring a deafening noise, the boat was bumping everytime we hit a wave, and the sea water splashed all over the place making the trip less than peaceful—but otherwise the vastly blue-green sea, blue sky and blazing sunshine made the circumstances beautifully perfect. i smiled to my dad. he smiled back. i had way too many thoughts in my mind to enjoy the view. my dad had just given me the talk. his experiences and legacy, his wishes and hopes for me. it wasn't demanding, or prepared in any kind of way that would ruin the holiday mood we're in. he was so calm. he had his way of starting this conversation—or one way monologue, rather—lucidly, as if it's just another chat we have. i didn't scowl, but he certainly put the pressure on me. i continued to gaze at the tiny dot we're heading.

and another one.

the cab finally arrived. their luggage was ready. "so, this is it," remarked my mother. i hugged her. she whispered something to my ear. i turned to my dad and hugged him. he, too, whispered something. i nodded before i let them go. "take care, buddy," the cab driver said, before he shut his door and drove away from the culdesac.

i couldn't concentrate, but i have to. three, four.

i kept thinking to myself,

—there's a reason for everything. this is not the end of the world.
—yeah, sure, but it's close enough.
—not that close that you wouldn't be able to rise again. think about the lessons you've learned from all this. think about how you will surprise yourself later on.
—that's a tall order.
—you have the power.

five, six. you do have the power, mil. you just need to believe in yourself.

before they melted

2005-12-05T23:37:00.000-08:00

LCPe

2005-11-09T12:14:00.000-08:00

...and the baton has been passed to me. it's just a matter of how i will handle it. uh oh.

counting to death

2005-11-06T16:29:00.000-08:00

a.k.a. a sad attempt to keep this blog alive.

hmmm... maybe this is why i don't drink coke or go to starbucks anymore...

After 243.40 cans of Coca-Cola Classic, you'd be pushing up daisies

118.22 cups of Starbucks Grande Caffe Latte + You = Death

It would take 1,034.45 Hershey's with Almonds bars to put you down

as taken from this site.

shimmer

2005-11-03T02:23:00.000-08:00

minal aidin wal faidzin

because sometimes you simply need to

come back to your root

gone

2005-10-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

gone are the days when i can update my blog at least once a week, when i can go blogwalking every night and leave comments everywhere, when i can download albums after albums all night long, when i can cherish the wonder of my notebook and internet technology in general.

hello randomness.

iPodified

2005-09-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

when my friend showed me his brand-spanking-ass-new iPod Nano today (which made me want to find a knife and slice his neck off so i can runaway with his new toy... okay maybe not), i remember me being all excited and perky whe i first got my 60GB iPod Photo 4 months ago. i remember the following weeks when my dietary meals consisted of either instant noodles, kraft diner, or under-four-bucks frozen food to compensate the hole on my wallet. sad, i know.

anyway i came across this website sometime last summer and got inspired to ipodify one of my pictures, hence the image above*. what amazed me even more was the oh-so-hilarious iBaby t-shirt i found today. soon enough the world is ruled by apple®, lemme tell ya.

* i hope i... will be blessed.

solitude

2005-09-22T09:10:00.000-07:00

the end of summer

2005-09-13T02:29:00.000-07:00

the martlet published its first issue of the term with an oh-so-depressing front cover. it features an illustration that shows (get this) a bunny and two people—presumably uvic students—standing on a vast orange landscape (which may or may not signifies sand dunes), gazing sombrely at a blazing yellow sunset that illuminates a bright pink sky. and then, at the bottom of the cover, across the page, is the headline: the end of summer.

yes summer has gone, and september has begun to show is its true skin with the cool morning air, juicy daylight sunshine, and chilly evening breeze. less and less people wear skirt, shorts, or sandals to school. two third of 2005 has passed by just like that. a flick of the fingers. and before i know it, i find myself battered, broke, and homeless. at least until the end of this month.

but i'm not going to rant about how tiring, time-consuming, and stressful it is to find a new place to live. or how sometimes i feel very disconnected with the virtual world and once in a while i look at my blog with disdain (hence the lack of entries). or how this summer wasn't as great as i had expected it to be. or how i have a lot of i wish scenarios in my head that are simply beyond any chance to remotely match the reality.

okay maybe i just did. but that's not the point. i'm just saying that, for better or worse, i'm facing the future, i.e. any time after this very moment, with a positive attitude (and not to mention a flinch instead of a grin). i'm scared, but at least i'm content right now.

languages i (sorta) know

2005-08-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

Indonesian...

Bahasa Indonesia is essentially a constructed language designed to fool foreigners into thinking Indonesia is a monoculture.
--John Cowan

Malay is essentially Indonesian as spoken by Englishmen.
--Amber Adams

Conversely, Indonesian is essentially Malay as spoken by Dutchmen.
--Amber Adams

Indonesian and Tagalog are essentially flowing water -- Indonesian a swiftly flowing brook and Tagalog water going over rapids.
--Adam Walker

English...

English is essentially the devil's attempt to reverse the curse of Babel by making a world language from the most difficult language in the world.
--qaya

English is essentially bad Dutch with outrageously pronounced French and Latin vocabulary.
--Eugene Holman

English is essentially all exceptions and no rules.
--Jonathan Bettencourt

Inglish iz issenshali a langwidje dhat, wen rittun fonetkli, iz ilejibul tu netiv spikerz.
--Peter Bleackley

English is essentially the language of people who think that everybody else speaks their language. French is essentially the language of people who think that everybody else should speak theirs.
--Peter Bleackley

American English is essentially a tool to keep a person from ever being able to speak another language.
--jmallett

Broken English is the language of international trade.
--John Naisbitt (via Daniel E. Huston)

American English is essentially British English without the funny accent. [Or is that Canadian English?]
--Aleks Dubh

(basic) Spanish...

Spanish is essentially Italian spoken by Arabs.
--Benct Philip Jonsson

Spanish is essentially a dialect of Californian English used for increasing the value of real estate. (Gee, wouldn't this faux Spanish strip mall be worth $200,000 more if it was called Plaza del Mucho Dinero?)
--Jeffrey Henning

(a little bit of) French...

Canadian French is essentially bad English as spoken by a Belgian with an inferiority complex.
--Ivan C. Amaya

French is essentially the linguistic equivalent of a really bad tailgating accident in which all the final consonants either are lost or stuck on the windshield of the next car.
--Hanbing Feng

and (barely), Dutch.

Dutch is essentially what you know to be English, only heard through lots of loud background noise.
--Dan Seriff

Dutch is essentially German as spoken by the members of a conspiracy who pretend not to speak German.
--John Cowan

as taken from here.

shooting stars

2005-08-12T01:35:00.000-07:00

they flicker above the earth, quick glimpses of lights, subtle and benign across the sky, zap, zap, zap. one after another. for a moment the night is slightly brighter than usual. zap. after about five seconds they stop. i wait, watching. the stars are all still, tiny little sparks gleam silently in contrast to the vast darkness behind them. i take a deep breath and a sip of my tea. the stars twinkle and i keep waiting. zap, another one. make a wish! make a wish! it's too late now, the flit was rapid and now it's gone again. i begin to hallucinate. i keep staring at one radiant star and suddenly a blast of even tinier sparks illuminates the darkness as far as my eyes can see. i begin to think that i can see that star is moving very slowly, sparkle, sparkle. zap. make another wish! i wish, i wish i can, shoot, i wish i can be happy, no that's not original, i wish i, there's too many i wishes pop in my head. pick one! zap. i'll wait for another one. i stare at the stars again and before i know it i begin to see things. i see imaginary lines connecting the stars, outlining rough shapes of a kite, an arrow, a crab. faux cancer and scorpio constellations that dissapear even before i quite grasp it. i think about zodiac signs, my past, present, my future. destiny, purpose of life. zap. that one was almost magical, almost surreal. zap, another one not too far. i begin to realize how cold the night is and try to go back to reality. but the next second i'm already absorbed with the stars' dazzles, again, watching one shimmers after one dims, again and again, in far less than split-second speed. sparkle, sparkle. i finish the last sip from my mug. zap. i wish i don't have to wish anything. zap. it's getting cold, mil, let's go inside.

tentang berbahasa indonesia

2005-08-10T01:20:00.000-07:00

ini mungkin, bila saya tidak salah, pertama kalinya saya menulis dengan bahasa indonesia setelah kurang lebih dua tahun. dengan "menulis" tentu yang saya maksud adalah menulis dengan intensi di luar komunikasi personal (maka saya tidak menghitung ratusan email yang telah saya kirim) dan dengan kata-kata yang saya pilih sendiri (maka saya tidak menghitung beberapa artikel yang telah saya terjemahkan). saya ingat dalam salah satu entri yang saya tulis tahun lalu, saya berusaha menjelaskan pilihan saya untuk menggunakan bahasa inggris dalam blog ini, yaitu untuk melatih kemampuan menulis saya dalam berbahasa inggris. ini terutama penting karena saya—sekarang saya sangat sadar dan menerima, walaupun awalnya dengan berat hati—bukanlah orang yang paling terlatih dalam berbahasa. saya tidak pernah mendapatkan nilai yang bagus dalam pelajaran bahasa indonesia, saya butuh waktu yang sangat lama untuk menguasai dan fasih dalam berbahasa inggris (bahkan sekarang pun seringkali grammar saya masih ngaco dan jauh dari sempurna), dan saya mengalami kesulitan yang luar biasa ketika saya memutuskan untuk belajar basic spanish dan french.

lalu mengapa sekarang saya memutuskan untuk mencoba berbahasa indonesia? well, mengapa tidak? saya kira sudah saatnya saya latihan untuk menulis dalam bahasa ibu saya ini. jadi tolong harap maklum kalau gaya menulis saya mungkin terlalu kaku, baku, tidak natural, atau malah sebaliknya. saya janji akan coba untuk lebih rileks pada entri berbahasa indonesia saya yang selanjutnya.

satu hal, diantara sekian, yang mendorong saya untuk mulai melatih lagi kemampuan bahasa indonesia saya adalah hobi saya untuk menonton film. dan belakangan ini saya banyak sekali menonton film-film non-hollywood serta film-film berbahasa asing, yang kemudian membuat saya ingin untuk belajar bahasa ketiga di luar bahasa inggris dan bahasa ibu. tetapi saya putuskan bahwa saya harus memperbaiki dengan baik dua bahasa yang saya telah kuasai terlebih dahulu sebelum belajar bahasa yang lain. jadi anggap saja bahwa tulisan ini adalah langkah awal bagi saya untuk mengapresiasi lebih baik bahasa yang sempat saya gunakan setiap hari pada 17 tahun pertama hidup saya.

entri-entri setelah ini tentu masih akan menggunakan bahasa inggris, lebih karena saya merasa nyaman menggunakannya daripada karena saya enggan berbahasa indonesia, tetapi mungkin saya akan menyelipkan satu dua entri dengan bahasa indonesia ketika saya ingin.

lucu. setelah saya baca ulang entri ini, saya pikir saya berusaha terlalu keras untuk menjustifikasi pilihan bahasa yang saya gunakan. padahal, really, who cares?

boing.

2005-07-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

having been living in the same place for almost two years, i've grown very fond with the house, more than ever now. even though people have suggested me to move closer either to the campus or downtown since god knows when, i stick with this place for just about every reason that i can think of. right now, for once, scott—my landlord—is out of town for a week, so i'm having the house by myself. also the killer new fridge and stove he bought a couple of weeks ago to replace the old, almost non-functioning ones. and of course, there's the garden frog.

"i bought myself a garden frog."

"you bought a what?"

"a garden frog. look!" he gestured his hand to a frog effigy about thrice the size of a fist, sitting on the dining table. it's dark green with dots all over its plump, fat, round body with a wide smirking mouth and eyes that popped out made of two round crystal marbles. it's hideously cute.

"oh."

"this is such a waste of money," he laughed and picked the frog up to examine it closer. "my boss has given me a hard time lately. you can't please everybody at one time, you know? it's just really annoying..." he trailed his words as if thinking about something before he quickly added, "so today i decided to buy this after work." he laughed again playing with the frog on his hand. "stress would make you do all sort of weird stuff, lemme tell ya," he grinned.

right.

one thing that i now loathe myself for is how i've been doing, thinking, and talking a lot of nonsense lately. it's in the air, the water, basically everywhere, and i would find nonsense. (un)fortunately though, i find peace in nonsense: when i just sit on my patio doing nothing but staring at the backyard, when i lie down on my bamboo mat on top of mount douglas for seven hours gazing at the sky and the sea, when i watch movies back to back the whole night and choose to forego my sleeping time, when i sleep throughout the whole morning and choose to have a backache later on, yada yada yada. i always silently whisper to myself, "life is good." at the same time, i often cross my fingers when i say it, and refuse to think about #11 on my things that i realize more and more every single day list.

on a lighter note, i am now a regular viewer of boingboing, which generously provides us with numerous wondeful things daily. some of the things that i've learned within the past month: what would my site looks like if it got googled, how to kill yourself using only an elevator and a trash can, what would irvine welsh, dave eggers, or chuck palahniuk write for dumbledore's death scene, and what skeletons do during their spare time. hilarious, eh?

naive

2005-07-26T01:53:00.000-07:00

i'm very oblivious a lot of times, don't you think?