They shared a video of my favorite ginger, Bryce Dallas Howard, using their makeup in an ASMR video for Instyle.

I love her, and my makeup stack, so I decided to watch.

B shared that she has an essential tremor that kicks up when painting her nails, and I’m like, “that sounds like my thing with painting and needle threading.”

My hands involuntarily shake when I’m trying to do small, close-up tasks. It’s happened to me my whole life. I never questioned it; I thought it was another quirk of mine. I never thought to research it either.

And wouldn’t you know it? That’s what it’s called! I never knew it had a name!!

I mean, I don’t even wear makeup a lot, which is what appealed to me the most about Subtl. When I need it, it helps me feel put together, without feeling weighed down by other makeup. I have a sensitivity to those types of things.

What’s funny is that I almost never watch videos because I don’t have the patience. I’m not even sure what compelled me to watch. Of all the millions of videos in the world, this is the one that said, “hey, watch this. It’s not like you’re doing anything else.”

But shout out to Bryce, Subtl, and Instyle for helping me put a name to something that I didn’t even know had a name.

First off, we saw two movies this weekend on our Regal pass, best investment ever, BTW.

“The Drama,” with Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

And “Exit 8,” with subtitles. lol.

“The Drama” gets

from me,

while “Exit 8” gets

Why?

“The Drama” goes there, but it doesn’t quite go there. And for top billing, we spent a lot of time with Rob’s character. I ride hard for Zendaya though. I still remember the first episode of “Shake It Up.” I wasn’t even going to watch it. But the chemistry she and Bella had/have on that show was truly evident. I was like, “these girls are stars.” And Z impresses me every time I see her. And we’re both born in the Town. Proud of her!

I never played “The Exit 8,” but psychological horror is always something I’m down to expose myself to in media. I think it was really good and gives you a lot to think about. I was overly anticipating the anomalies, and sometimes the character would not obviously turn back, and I’m like, “nnoooooo!” But the ending was satisfying, and I feel bad for the salaryman, or the Walking Man, according to the lore.

Imagine being an NPC in someone else’s game, and not knowing you are, but WE know you are?

We went to Dave & Busters after. As you might know, or not, I’m a professional crane operator. You can’t tell me nothing when it comes to the toy crane machines. I won Scorpion first. Two turns. Yeahhhh budddy.

I was yelling, “GET OVER HERE” all day long.

Then we had lunch at the restaurant there. Our friend J saw Raiden in the folded card with the logo (as seen above), and was like, “I want that one.” My boyfriend liked how Goro looked.

So I went back, and grabbed Goro in one or two swipes, I forget. He was easy, because I think somebody set it up for me. Raiden was hiding in the corner, so I set that plush up. Of course, I ran out of money! I mean, our card was running low anyway, but not too bad.

I ran to J and was like, “Gimme your card, I’m going to win Raiden for you!”

Bless him though, he didn’t even question it, just handed me his swipe card. The reason why I was frantic was because it was busy, and I was afraid someone was going to see that I set Raiden up and gank it from me. But I did, in one swipe. So technically, J won Raiden, but with my labor, lol. I didn’t grab a pic, but it’s super cool looking.

Kitana was part of the collection, and she’s my favorite character in the series, but was buried too far for me to chase, so I let her go that day.

We ended up returning a few days later to help my boyfriend blow some steam off after a tough work day. I could not get it together and grab Kitana. Her head is HUGE.

You have to be careful with these, because if you don’t aim for the head, you’re going to have a tough time. So my boyfriend ended up winning her for me.

If D&B still has the collection when we go back, I’m going to chase Sub-Zero. I can’t NOT have Scorpion without Sub-Zero. That’s just wrong!

I want the Wild West internet back, and that’s the vibe I’m bringing in 2026.

I’m overstimulated and feeling small and going completely mad.

I might experiment, I might employ traditional SEO, who cares? I’m beholden to no one.

Yeah, I have a subscription plan, because it would be nice to make money from this new era, but I don’t expect people to do so. I’m as cash strapped as you, baby, no pressure!

If you’re willing to listen to a foulmouthed elder millennial who is sick of the nonsense, subscribe.

Or don’t. It’s all good.

Music makes the people come together

In an effort to keep my brain from smoothing out, I’ve been continuously updating my iTunes library. It still works, and hot tip: don’t install Apple TV or Apple Music on your Windows computer; Apple will prioritize those apps over iTunes. Not sure if the same process works on Mac; I’ve heard that they force Mac users to use Apple Music period.

I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do when they properly sunset iTunes. But I dare not manifest that energy.

As of late, I’ve chased down BBMak, Kehlani, and Level 42’s discographies. I had all of them in the past, but during the Great iTunes Wipe of 2025, I lost a ton of my music, going as far back as 2004. Between my past purchases from iTunes and Amazon Digital Music and my own physical CDs, I was able to start rebuilding it.

My local library is a godsend. I have a standalone CD ripper, so whenever I remember I don’t have a specific artist, I look in the catalogue and see if they have the physical copy, put in my request, and wait. Right now, I’m waiting on My Chemical Romance and the Cocteau Twins.

I can’t believe I lost all of my Cocteau Twins music. I had their entire discography. The only thing I have right now in my library is “The Moon and the Melodies,” the EP they did with Harold Budd in 1986.

The walls keep crashing down on me

The entire world is burning, figuratively and literally, and I remain without a job since June 2025. This is my longest stretch of unemployment ever. Like many others in the game, we all have experience, we’re all ready to work, and yet… no one is hiring? If I get another “this position is filled” email, I might… actually, I don’t know what I’d do. I rage like Aggretsuko every time I get one though.

I’d like someone to give me a shot. I’m ready, willing, and able. I don’t want to continue to be a statistic. I’d like to be able to be a functioning member of society. I don’t want to rely on others because there’s someone in a far worse position that needs it more than me and can’t work.

I’m at my wits’ end.

Trying to stay positive

On that deflating note, I’m trying to keep my head up and keep moving forward. It’s hard to sell myself because I’m a generalist when it comes to my writing. I can write about anything that you put in a content brief. Give me a style guide and I’ll have it done on your deadline.

Cleaning out my hard drive

One of my favorite things to do is scroll through Instagram and Threads and grab people’s free offers. You give them your email, and they give you themed content like “get my workbook and do this thing that’s made me multiple 000s in income!” I mean, anyone can say that, really. But hey, if they want to give away free stuff, I’m all for it.

So I’ve been going through at least a decade’s worth of PDFs, swipe files, and slide decks. A lot of it stuff I already know but haven’t had a chance to use myself. It’s always in the back of my head. I guess I haven’t found a reason to use it yet, but once I do, I’ll have the knowledge.

Not only have I been clearing that stuff away, I’ve been revisiting my ideas file. And with the help of the Novel 90 challenge at AutoCrit, I’m also writing again. There’s a story that I’ve been kicking around in my head for awhile now about a professional cuddler. The working title is “The Patron Saint of Chavez Ravine.” Something about that title is poetic. I’m not even sure where I’m going with it, but it’s been fun, getting stuff out on paper.

I haven’t written long fiction in probably over 15 years. And I didn’t even finish that novel! Ha. I felt I wanted to express myself more with short fiction and poetry. And I’m glad I did! There’s so much I want to share in those styles.

Ugh, so many stories, so little time.